Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

[ken]

Write your poetry here.

[bz£]

I have composed a brief tune for this title, lucky you all! Sadly, it didn't end up as sad as I intended, and despite working industriously at it, it didn't turn out as industrial as I expected, either. At least it's hard to dance to!

Oh and here is some poetry, with a message both useful and artistic:

Charcoal entry is
Another instrumental
You should all skip it

[Generic]

Three cover arts this week. Nice.

Anyone going to write an "Ode to Old Detroit?"

[Dust]

Giving it my first listen through. Sounds awesome so far.

- dust
EDIT: Sweet merciful crap, Raised By Wolves = fucking awesome.

[Generic]

Dang that's a lot of great songs. First listen, I'm not paying too close attention, but so far major props are due to Ross, the Anarchaeologists, and Abominominous. And Raised by Wolves! ...Who has returned! Yay!

[Generic]

(never mind)

[nyjm]

holy shmokes, what a big fight! ... and a mighty fine, one, too...

Is it me, or are many of the submissions to this fight longer than your normal Song Fight tune?
(hypothesis after first complete listen: slower tempos)

Abominominous
+++ loose vibe, rocking dynamics +++
--- maybe a little too lose and unpredictable; seems like several different songs jammed into one ---
/// A+ for punk meets White Album ambition; C+ for schizophrenic execution ///

Adam Adamant
--- empty ping sound for a snare drum ---
--- clipping; bring down the bass and vox ---
/// competent Duran Duran sound-a-like ///

The Anarcheologists
+++ band name +++
/// several elements seem familiar, to the point of over-used: the guit tones and riffs, the rhythm of the melody ///
--- too much reverb on the vox ---
+++ dynamics +++

Berkeley Social Scene
+++ riff and its various permutations +++
--- synth whine ---
--- vox (especially the fem) seem flat, need vigor ---

Cabin Fever - vote
+++ pretty: textures, arrangement, harmonies +++
+++ vox and melody +++
+++ elegiac vibe that isn't oppressive +++

The Chadderandom Abyss
--- still sounds like random noise; i.e., nothing that really advances or challenges conventional songwriting ---

Charcoal
+++ weird time signature - 7/8? +++
/// an interesting sketch, but not much in the way of a tune ///

coder_lyte()
--- monotone vox ---
+++ textures +++

deetak
/// hey, i have that plug-in too! ///
--- muddy ---

DuToVa
+++ production +++
/// uninteresting melody ///
--- not grabbing me ---

Electric Needle Room
--- repetitive chorus ---

Heine
+++ dynamics +++
/// Pink Floyd vibe ///

Howl Down the Chimney with Jan Krueger
+++ instrumentation +++

Jan Krueger
--- trite lyric ---
+++ whistling +++

Jim Tyrrell - vote
+++ melody and vocal tone +++
+++ intense but still laid-back vibe +++
+++ "maybe we all need something to break" +++
/// could use some more development: another verse, an outro, a bridge, even just a solo ///

John Kloberdanz
/// i have to admit, when I saw your lyrics, i rolled my eyes ///
+++ but the beatlesque vibe is great, even the harmonica! +++
--- vox tone is a little sharp, riding that clip line at times ---

Jonathan Mann
+++ chorus, especially the ending +++

Jon Eric
--- warbly vox ---
--- snare is too loud ---
--- ho-hum earnest lyrics ---

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank
--- facile ---

noah mclaughlin
--- damn, the bridge vox still clip here and there ---
+++ dynamics and cohenesque lyrics +++
/// i'm undecided about the structure, especially transition into the bridge; is the bridge too soon? should the intro be repeated with full instrumentation to give more structure before the change-up? does the transition seem to be a measure too long (it's just a count) ///

Paco del Stinko
--- lyric rhythm lacks prosody, seem forced ---
--- the structure is too stop and start and never develops a good fist-pounding drive ---
+++ guitar anger! +++

Quimby - vote
--- sax sounds a little flat; so does the whistling ---
+++ vox +++
+++ outro +++

Raised By Wolves - vote
+++ chorus +++
/// i was about to say: "this is a mighty fine song, but nothing is standing up and grabbing my attention..." ///
+++ ... and then there's that properly elegiac outro; yup, score +++

Rone Rivendale
--- get a drum machine ---
--- stop popping your plosives ---
--- lame metatextuality ---
/// honestly, I don't get it: what's the point of deliberately bad music? ///

Ross Durand
/// channels the best of Billy Joel ///
+++ the best parts are the staccato up-tempo bits +++
--- kind of drags towards the middle ---

Slats
--- vox are too distant and reverb-y ---
/// bring that lead guitar up when it's hard-panned ///
/// and crank the BPM up a notch or three ///

Steve Durand
/// the clarinet and trumpet set me up for a New Orleans funeral march... ///
+++ ... but we get a musical factory! (straight out of loony tunes, even) +++
/// cool musical sketch; needs more elegy ///

Todd McHatton
+++ guit riff +++
/// guit's still a little too hot ///
--- the vocal harmonies are a bit too muddy ---

The Weakest Suit
--- main vox are too distant ---
/// this is one of the few entries that borders on a rocker, and it should; you just need to crank up the tempo ///

[Generic]

Abominominous - Some of the vocals sound like they're coming from the bottom of a well. It was probably intentional, but I'm not digging on that sound. I definitely like the hard-rocking-ness of this, which is your trademark, and the dynamic shifts give the song a great deal of natural tension. I like the shifts from loud to soft, but I'm not as into the false stops. In the end, this song runs a little long. When, leading up to the 3:00 mark, you repeat "Let it divide itself" in a ritardando and descrescendo to stop, I thought that was the end of the song. And everything afterwards made me kind of wish it had been the end. I know then you'd lose the "Never rust" segment, which is worth keeping in some form, but it's a tough call. Good song; not sure I'll vote for it, though.

Adam Adamant - Now I thought for sure I'd heard some of your work before, and don't recall it being quite this gothy. The mix is oversaturated, which doesn't help the minimalist sound that you appear to be going for (maybe that's an intentional fallacy on my part, but there you have it). If the bass and vocals were a little lower in the mix, and maybe if the vocals had a touch (just a touch) more reverb... I'm no mixing expert, though. I'd love to hear a sparser, quieter mix of this. The arrangement is fine, the synths work in that dark way, and I actually like the lyrics, which is great, because on paper they look a little lame. That's how it is with a lot of songs, though; the lyrics only work when sung. Not bad, especially not by Songfight standards, but the mix keeps it out of the hundredth percentile.

The Anarchaeologists - WHAT A GREAT BAND NAME! Very professional-sounding mix. I'm a little curious as to why the vocals sound like they were recorded in a metal box, though. Is it bad room sound or an intentional effect? I guess it doesn't even sound bad; it's just the not knowing that bugs me. The breakdown at about 1:50 followed by the guitar trio, though? That's totally The Who. I love it. That floaty solo part is incredible; is it MIDI, or is someone actually playing it? Pitch-perfect. Likely vote.

Berkely Social Scene - I love it when songs modulate the emphasis in the first couple of bars like that. I can never do that myself. Probably the catchiest song in the group so far. The harmonies (both the b-vocal and the background synth) really add to that catchiness. If this were my song, I'd have asked the female backup vocalist to let go of her syllables maybe a beat sooner. Also, there's something bugging me, but I can't put my finger on it; it might be the distortion on the bass? It's minor. This is a good song, and a likely vote.

As a side note, what's in the water this week? No skippers yet.

Cabin Fever - I love the minimalist feel this track has. The cello (that's a cello, right?) gives the track a great emotional urgency. The reverb on the percussion is just right. I can't make out all your lyrics, though. I can't quite make out all the lyrics, and that's a problem. It might have something to do with the fact that the singer sounds weary; I assume you're trying to emote the lyrics, which is a good instinct, but try not to let it muddle your enunciation. Yet another likely vote.

The Chadderandom Abyss - Racist intro? Cacophonous song? Bad singing? Is this going anywhere? At about 1:30, I gave up. Cut from future listens.

Charcoal - Waltz-time instrumental. Awesome. I like the subtle dissonance introduced with the slightly out-of-tune chords that come in on the added beats. It adds tension to the song without the cacophony overpowering it and making it unlistenable (see your immediate predecessor, for instance). Unfortunately, the lack of a strong lead melody keeps this one out of A-list territory. A fifth-octave piano line might have solidified this into a vote-worthy instrumental. Ambience is nice, but my taste demands something concrete.

Coder_lyte() - Sounds a little video-gamey at first. Like the theme that plays when the main character at the beginning of an RPG gets kicked out of his hometown. And then the lyrics kick in and it becomes clear that I was right on the money. I love it when that happens. In fact, after the first chorus... is that a direct lift from Mega Man? Oh well. You nailed the style. Your vocals could be a teensy bit louder. A few more rehearsals, would help, too, since you don't sound perfectly at home in your melody. This has been one of my biggest hurdles, too, so I know how it can be. But seriously, sing those lyrics till they're ingrained in there. When you don't have to worry about hitting those notes, the vocals come out that much stronger for it. I'm a little on the fence about voting for this. Instrumentation is an A, lyrics are a B, vocal delivery is a C.

Deetak - What am I listening to? What language is that? I've never heard a more muddled choir in my life. I like the classical style piano concerto, though.

Dutova - I have nothing to teach you. Great stuff. Definite vote.

Electric Needle Room - Starts off sounding like a pro-tools-y version of "I'm Blue." The vocals are missing something; they sound stapled onto the mix. Your lyrics feel a little like you're cramming them into the wrong melody. "it WAS fun while it LASTed," and "it's JUST mu-SIC, it's JUST mu-SIC" don't sound right, and I can't help but feel like it would have been well worth the effort to either come up with different lyrics, or a more suitable melody. Cutting from future listens.

Heine - I like the industrial (literally!) percussion. Not crazy about the spoken-word prechorus bit, but the sudden escape into acoustic instruments for the "Free" bit is very effective. And when the two parts sort of meld for the last chorus, it feels like a happy ending. It's nice. HOWEVER, I have the same thing to say about your vocals that I had to say to Coder_lyte(). You don't sound 100% comfortable with your own melody. Keep practicing it; sing it to yourself in the shower, when you're walking from work to the parking lot, when you're standing in line at the bank. Just keep singing it to yourself, and it will show in your performance. Still. Probable vote.

Howl Down the Chimney + Jan Krueger - Wouldn't play on my computer. Will try again later.

Jan Krueger - You've got a nice voice. Sounds like Jens Lekman. I gotta love the music-over-all theme in the music. Is that a jaw harp? Nice. Cute little ditty; probable vote.

Jim Tyrell - Good first line. What's that third chord? Nice melody, and I really like how the lyrics fit really well with it. "We knew it too but we were in too deep." Great line. Nice harmonies. This is just a great song all around. Definite vote. If we were back in the one-vote format, you'd probably be wrestling with RxW for my vote.

John Kloberdanz - The vocals are a little too loud. Nice simple little melody and arrangement. Reminds me of "Take This Job and Shove It." Might vote for it. I can definitely relate to the lyrics. Phew.

Jonathan Mann - I wonder if I'm suffering from mid-fight exhaustion. I'm trying not to let the reviews get shorter as I go. Still, I can't think of much to say about this song. The minimalist intro is very effective, and the plaintive vocals are nice, but I wonder if the personification of Industry really works for the song. It calls into question what Industry represents physically to the character (industry as the abstract noun for hard work? Or the industry of one particular field?). I like the counterpoint vocals in the coda, though, and the emotional aspect of the song is definitely there; you've got me on board for that, yeah. What the heck, probable vote.

Jon Eric - Sorry I forgot to tag this. I always listen to my own song with the rest when I'm writing reviews, so I can hear how it stacks up, and to give myself a listen when I already have my Critic Hat on. My vocals need work, that's for sure, though it's also clear that I've improved. I definitely could have stood to spot-mix the vocals a little more, since there's some points where they're too loud, and others where they're too soft. Still, everything seems to fit together in this song, in a way that I don't take for granted, so I'm pretty happy with it. Oops, I sang the wrong lyric in the last verse, but the song was due in two hours, so I let it slide. Maybe I'll rerecord that. Can anyone hear anything funny about the backup harmonies?

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank - You're not MC Hawking. What does this have to do with the title? I'm skipping this and cutting it from future listens.

Noah McLaughlin - Some elements of this mix seem very hi-fi (the guitar seems particularly well-recorded), and others seem kind of cheap. Maybe you need some compression on the verse vocals? I don't know, something about this doesn't seem to mesh. When it's on, it's really on. But there are some parts that just feel like they're dragging, like when you bring that choir in. Some pitchy vocals in the vicinity of 2:35. From that point out, though, it sounds GREAT. I feel kind of bad about not voting for this, because it's certainly better than, say, your immediate predecessor, but you're really not living up to this song's potential.

Paco del Stinko - Whoa, nice kick-in there! I'm not normally a fan of the over-the-top vocals like this, but you're totally selling it. Great crunch there, nice shredding. Not much else to say beyond that. Probable vote.

Quimby - Nice groove. That's not a real sax, is it? Pretty voice. There's power in those lyrics. I will get sick of that guitar riff if you don't shake it up before too long, though. The backup vocals under the second chorus feel a little off, but they're mixed too low for me to identify the problem. Something in the singers' tone of voice, maybe? I like the whistled solo and the fading filter, though I wonder if maybe it would have fit better with the smooth feel of the rest of the song if you had cut the breaths from that part? Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. Probable vote.

Raised by Wolves - I know that one-word reviews don't help anyone, but all I have to say about this song can be summed up thusly: Perfect.

Rone Rivendale - Are you even trying to sound good? Badly-played guitar, you're too close to the microphone, you're singing WAY off key, and your lyrics are awful. Skipped at about 1:00, and removed from future listens.

Ross Durand - Your lyrics looked great on paper, sound great in the recording. The mournful piano, the regretful vocal delivery, the sad little organ way in the back of the mix... the everything. I love how you lift for the bridge, too. Everything just fits. Really good job. Definite vote.

Slats - The guitar is well played, the structure works pretty well. I think your bass is a little too loud, and your vocals are a little too soft, and that gets in the way of your lyrical engagement with the audience. That hurts this song more than it would hurt most other songs because of the personal nature of the lyrics - they tell a story of hardship, so you don't want to remove the singer from the listener, you know? Pretty much everything else about this song works, but I have a harder time getting into it than I do with others this week because of that removal.

Steve Durand - This is what I was talking about with Charcoal. You have a strong melody line for parts of this song. That brass line is a toehold to the song, something to hum to myself when I'm thinking about it later. This feels like the sountrack to an old Merrie Melodies cartoon. I like it. Could have even been longer.

Todd McHatton - You sound a little bit like Isaac Brock. You're good at not keeping the mix in one place for too long. First there's some indy guitars, then a piano for a few bars, then a breakdown, then some synth swells... It's nice, keeping the song interesting, but I think I'll need a few more listens to really appreciate all the places this goes. What's that effect on the drums during the breakdowns? It's neat. Might vote; I'm still a little on the fence.

Weakest Suit - I don't listen every week, but this is definitely different than most of your songs I've heard so far. I like your lyrics, but the mix is maybe a little too muddy for how busy it is. I'd really like to hear all the various parts here each pop out and shimmer a little bit, make the whole thing sound active and overpacked, like the dot-com bubble was. I like your commitment to the song structure, though maybe it doesn't work in your favor the whole way through (rhyming "2001" with "one by one" is awkward, and I wouldn't do it). Still, it makes the song tight structurally, which is like building a house on a sturdy foundation. I'd love to hear what they can do with this on remixfight. Might vote; can't decide.

So hey. Last fight I reviewed, almost half the songs wound up getting discarded before my second listen-through. This time I only threw out four, out of a lot more total this time. GREAT WORK, EVERYONE!

[Teplin]

Howl Down the Chimney + Jan Krueger - Wouldn't play on my computer. Will try again later.

Hmm, that's troubling. Does that happen for anyone else?

I'd also like to report that I don't notice any hiccups in the Dutova track, but either the music is supposed to start back up again for an outro and stops very abruptly at 3:28, or a few seconds of the beginning are played after the songs ends.

[Rone Rivendale]

[b]Rone Rivendale Skipped at about 1:00

That's pretty sad for you. You don't know what you are missing. I would suggest the next time you don't listen to one of my songs, you just leave me off the reivew thread completely. It would be like playing the first level of a video game and posting a review online saying that it sucks. You don't KNOW. But thanks anyway.

BTW, I gave all the songs a listen with a friend and there are alot of good ones here. Alot of easy listening style songs. Saved several of them. Strange that so many songs were so similiar. SF is all about diversity on most fights.

[Generic]

That's pretty sad for you. You don't know what you are missing. I would suggest the next time you don't listen to one of my songs, you just leave me off the reivew thread completely.

I'll bear that in mind, but...

It would be like playing the first level of a video game and posting a review online saying that it sucks. You don't KNOW.

If the first level of a game is too easy, there's still hope. If the first level is unplayable, it's a bad game. Your first level was unplayable.

[Reist]

You don't know what you are missing. I would suggest the next time you don't listen to one of my songs, you just leave me off the reivew thread completely.

Are you serious?

[Rone Rivendale]

Well yeah. Do you want to hear a review of a book that the reviewer didn't read? You want a review of a movie that the critic didn't watch? I don't need a Rone basher to reivew one of my songs that he admitted to not listening to. It's not an honest review since he doesn't know what the song contained. He said he listened to 1:00 of it. It's a 3 minute song.

[adamadamant]

Not bad, especially not by Songfight standards, but the mix keeps it out of the hundredth percentile.

Thanks, I agree the mix wasn't very good, I wanted the bass loud and fuzzy but I think because the range of it overlaps with my vocals I had to make them even louder to be heard, which made the whole thing too loud and clippy.

[Phil. Redmon.]

this song runs a little long.

You gotta be somewhere?


Ha ha, j/k, but yeah, no, yes, this song is EPIC by my standards (barring pawnbroker's stepdaughter).

[coder_lyte()]

Coder_lyte() - Sounds a little video-gamey at first. Like the theme that plays when the main character at the beginning of an RPG gets kicked out of his hometown. And then the lyrics kick in and it becomes clear that I was right on the money. I love it when that happens. In fact, after the first chorus... is that a direct lift from Mega Man? Oh well. You nailed the style. Your vocals could be a teensy bit louder. A few more rehearsals, would help, too, since you don't sound perfectly at home in your melody. This has been one of my biggest hurdles, too, so I know how it can be. But seriously, sing those lyrics till they're ingrained in there. When you don't have to worry about hitting those notes, the vocals come out that much stronger for it. I'm a little on the fence about voting for this. Instrumentation is an A, lyrics are a B, vocal delivery is a C.

Heh, I wasn't explicitly going for the RPG style, but that is pretty funny. I didn't copy anything from Mega man, but that is among my influences so I guess it comes out. My singing wasn't very good on this one, and it's party a side effect of me doing the lyrics and vocal melody last in my songs. I should come up with it sooner so I can practice it more. Thanks.

[Generic]

Howl Down the Chimney + Jan Krueger - Wouldn't play on my computer. Will try again later.

Hmm, that's troubling. Does that happen for anyone else?

I'd also like to report that I don't notice any hiccups in the Dutova track, but either the music is supposed to start back up again for an outro and stops very abruptly at 3:28, or a few seconds of the beginning are played after the songs ends.

Weird. Won't play on VLC, won't play on my music player, but it does play in the browser.

Here the review:

I like the simple sound of the guitar with the plaintive voice and the melody. Jan seems a little bit flat with the mix. The accents are brought in at just right pace, though I think maybe by the end of the second verse, the track is dragging its feet a little. The solo is fine, but unremarkable, and then the third verse doesn't really shake anything up any more. I would have liked to hear more of those little extra touches in the background to keep in interesting for the third verse. Nice ending, though. Possible vote.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I would suggest the next time you don't listen to one of my songs, you just leave me off the reivew thread completely

He seems to have listened to it long enough to say, "Rone Rivendale - Badly-played guitar, you're too close to the microphone, you're singing WAY off key, and your lyrics are awful".
.....and that only took 1 minute.

[mrbeany]

I wanted to point out that it appears the quality of headphones makes a big difference. I first listened to these songs at my desk at work -- where I have some rather nice headphones. When I listened to last weeks songs again with those headphones I had no problems making out any lyrics. I listened to this week's songs first on those headphones.

The competition was intense this week. I liked so much of it. I couldn't really provide reasonable feedback for a lot of it. It was all just so good! (Well, and my lack of experience sort of puts a bit of a damper on my ability to provide much in terms of constructive feedback.)

Abominominous: This seems good for the genre. It's much harder than my usual tastes, so I don't really know what else to say about it. I don't have a lot of experience with the genre to compare it with.

Adam Adamant: I will say I liked this song rather well. The clipping seems pretty bad. If it didn't have the issue with the clipping, I would have probably voted for it. (I liked it that much.)

The Anarcheologists: I really liked this. Vote!

Berkeley Social Scene: I really liked this. Vote!

Cabin Fever: I really liked this. Vote!

The Chadderandom Abyss: "You must make elegy for industry or I cut you." I just didn't understand where the super-sexual super-psycho fit in with the elegy for industry or the alien. (Like one of those tentacle aliens that like sex? -- Are you talking about the sex industry?) Though over all, this may well have been one of the most musical pieces I've heard of yours.

Charcoal - It was a nice instrumental piece. Could you just not think of any words? This definitely has the right sort of almost mournful edgy piece that would fit with the title. I could have really used a half-understandable "Elegy for Industry" towards the end like in Pink Floyd's "Careful with That Axe, Eugene."

coder_lyte() - You know you can still play those games, even now, right? I like the story. I think it could be more angsty, though. It just seems like you're too removed from the pain of saying good bye.

deetak - I really like the vocal processing. What effects are you using? It really makes it almost impossible to understand, but the song is so pleasing overall that I just didn't care. Vote!

DuToVa: I really liked this. Vote!

Electric Needle Room: I like the subject matter. (Down with the RIAA and their silly music! Woot!) I don't have any particularly criticisms. I think it was the competition this week that just out-rocked it.

Heine: I don't know what farmers are like out in Europe, but here in the US... Family farms aren't doing well unless they're doing fancy-pants organic. Some family farms in the US still use outhouses -- the families can be that poor. Most farms in the US are big industry. I suppose I'm saying that the story just doesn't seem believable to me. :/

Howl Down the Chimney with Jan Krueger: I really liked this. It totally kicks ass. Vote!

Jan Krueger: I liked this song. It is a decidedly hopeful perspective on the title.

Jim Tyrrell: I liked this song.

John Kloberdanz: It's folksy. Folk may well be the ideal genre for this week's title. While I do enjoy some folk, it just wasn't rocking (folking?) me that much.

Jonathan Mann: I liked this song.

Jon Eric: I liked this song.

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank: I'm not a fan of the genre, but I'm even less of a fan of the subject matter.

noah mclaughlin: Was that your own voice processed for all the additional voices? Those are some interesting effects.

Paco del Stinko: Hard rocking! My first listen it was too hard for me. The second time I liked it.

Quimby: I really liked this. Vote!

Raised By Wolves: I really liked this. Vote!

Rone Rivendale: If you're still popping your plosives when I send in another entry, I just may do better than you.

Ross Durand: I really liked this. Vote!

Slats: This came off reminding me of some band I've heard before. (Like in a someone-pays-for-similar-music sort of way, not a this-sounds-the-same-as way.) I think every week I'm liking your stuff more. These seems the best yet.

Steve Durand: I liked this. It sort of reminds me of a train coming to a stop.

Todd McHatton: I really liked this. Vote!

The Weakest Suit: I liked it.

Yeah, I voted for quite a few. I really liked even more. I think it was a really great batch of songs.

[Rone Rivendale]

Rone Rivendale: If you're still popping your plosives when I send in another entry, I just may do better than you.

Good luck Mr. Bean. I love your act btw.

[Chadderandom]

Racist intro? Cacophonous song? Bad singing? Is this going anywhere? At about 1:30, I gave up. Cut from future listens.

Wait, does that mean you made it to the bear porn part and didn't also call me homophobic? I mean, if you're going to read too much into one thing, you should read too much into everything. Unless you don't caaarrrrre for the gay community.

[Paco Del Stinko]

The Chimney and Krueger song streamed fine for me this morning. Good tune. Yeah, a good fight although there may be a tune or two that I'm thankful for keeping me from hitting rock bottom. Reviews in a day or two.