Amsterdam

[jeff robertson]

as performed by FLVXXVM FLORVM

I think I'm going to Amsterdam
so I can smoke all the weed that I want
I think I'm going to Amsterdam

I think I'm going to Amsterdam
so I can have all the whores that I want
I think I'm going to Amsterdam

I think I'm going to Amsterdam
so I can steal all the bikes that I want
I think I'm going to Amsterdam

[The Weakest Suit]

Song Fight Song 084
Amsterdam

Thailand…it’s a poor man’s Amsterdam…
It’s a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah
You can practice Thai beau…I’ll stick with the Thai girls
They can tie me up anyway they want

‘Cause everyone has a skeleton in their closet, yeah yeah
The trick is not to leave your skeleton in the closet hanging by its balls in…

Thailand…it’s a poor man’s Amsterdam…
It’s a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah
You can practice Thai beau…I’ll stick with the Thai girls
I’ll stick with the Thai girls

© 2009 Weakest Suit Songs

[APW]

Amsterdam
(c)2009 Pathetic Wannabees

There were 4 Jolly Wannabees,
There were 4 Jolly Wannabees
Wanna, wanna, bee bee bees
Wanna, wanna, bee bee bees
There were 4 Jolly Wannabees

Went to Omaha for chi-qi-tas
Went to Omaha for chi-qi-tas
Oma, Oma, chi-qi-tas!
Oma, Oma, chi-qi-tas!
Went to Omaha for chi-qi-tas

They should have gone to Amster - can't say that!
They should have gone to Amster - can't say that!
Amster, Amster, shut your mouth!
Amster, Amster, shut your mouth!
They should have gone to Amster - can't say that!

[break]
You mustn't say that naughty word
You mustn't flip that dirty bird
Mustn't say your peace 'round the Thought Police
Better off seen and not heard!

We're gonna go there anyway
Smokin pot and gettin' laid
Smokin', smokin', pot pot pot
Prostitutes so hot hot hot
We're gonna go there anyway

So join us all in Amsterdam
So join us all in Amsterdam
Amster Amster dam!,dam!,dam!
Amster Amster dam!,dam!,dam!
So join us all in Amsterdam

Amster DAM!

Amster DAM!

Amster DAM!

[IRC BFF]

Amsterdam by IRC BFF

Went to Amsterdam
Met some strangers there
Had a good time with them
Many things to share
What a scenery
Exhilarating me
All the things to see
Never felt so free

A giant being, heart is beating
Feel organic growth
Ever moving, growing, fleeting
Loud and silent, both
Unassuming, yet wild
It makes me feel like I'm a child

No other place on earth
Or perhaps it's just me
This trip, infinite worth
What a place to be
All the things to see
Never felt so free

A giant being, heart is beating...

[deetak]

The wind only turbines shutting down
Will you recover your performance, your dancers, your music?
You're safe
Backstage back up plans
Strobe lights for the strip show had to set
What's next? Head shop closed
Is there one more street with snow since the owners left?
Who sleeps at the source of the power out?
No one left to rescue
Took a tourist boat home

Come in, it's the wartime hidden zone
They're undercover, will arrest you, will destroy you
You're safe
In the waterways
And all the places that would set, close, and leave
They'll raid today
Here in an ordinary city
We'll go back soon

[furrypedro]

Amsterdam by Balance Lost (feat. Chimpo)

Make a V sign with your fingers
Touch your tips to mine
That's one way to say goodbye
Saliva and sweat and some things we never shared
If I want to get fucked up
I don't need to go to Amsterdam

I talked myself out of obsession
I reclaimed my thoughts
Now there's nothing worth thinking
Default on your health
You brainwashed yourself
If you want to get fucked up
You don't need to go to Amsterdam

We don't
Don't need
Don't need
To go to Amsterdam

Saliva and sweat
And some things we never shared

[rone rivendale]

Rone Rivendale - The start of the longest streak in SF history.

There's a little place that I know
So good they call it Amster-Dayum!
Girls you would swear were models
Roaming around the streets so free!
I think this European lifestyle
Just might be for me!

Amster
Dayum
Amster
Dayum
Yeah

People talk about the drugs so much
But that isn't anything I care about!
How do these girls get away with it
Being so beautiful and not getting mauled!
I think this European lifestyle
Just might be for me!

Amster
Dayum!
Amster
Dayum!
Amster
Dayum!

This place called Amsterdam
This four twenty paradise
I don't care about lighting up
But I want to find a girl
To show me the way to Extasy!

Amster
Dayum!
Amster
Dayum!
Amster
Dayum!

Not gonna light up
Gonna get my freak up
Don't want any pot
Just want to hit the spot
Not gonna light up
Gonna get my freak up
Don't want any pot
Just want to hit the spot
Not gonna light up
Gonna get my freak up
Don't want any pot
Just want to hit the spot

[roymond]

Amsterdam - roymond

i could go nastalgic
and i think you do the same
we can't blame it on the wine
we can't call it a game

in amsterdam

spent the day in the park
picnic and van gogh
took a stroll through the blue period
and potato eaters all

in amsterdam

poste restante
wait and you shall find
walking home through red lights
after too much wine

in amsterdam
i loved those days

[Paco Del Stinko]

Amsterdam - Paco del Stinko

Straight from Vaudeville
and in for the kill
Is Rose Marie in Amsterdam
or backwards for the thrill

He's got bugging eyes and a houndstooth jacket
Don't ever mix him up with Buddy Hackett
He's the King of Ham, give me the story
On Morey Amsterdam

Old wisecracker
with a hunk of cheese
Gimme another one-liner
and just one more if you please

He's got bugging eyes and a houndstooth jacket
Don't ever mix him up with Buddy Hackett
He's the King of Ham, give me the story
On Morey Amsterdam

He worked for Dick and the guy with the glasses
When it came to making the yuks, he sent them all back to classes
A legend of small screen and stage
The greatest corn of any age

He won't bring you down
and he always keeps it clean (like he washed you in a tub)
If you need a little pick me up
he's the Human Joke Machine (he'll give you a rub-a-dub)

He's got bugging eyes and a houndstooth jacket
Don't ever mix him up with Buddy Hackett
He's the King of Ham, he's Morey Amsterdam

[martyr]

Amsterdam
by Berkeley Social Scene

[ Intro ] Am Em D -- double length

[Verse] Am Em D
Your red lights cast a shadow on the wall
Before I thought I had seen it all
Your coffee shops so smoky sweet
Your bicycles along the street

[ Chorus ] C F G C (Em Am)
Noord; Zeeburg; Centrum ( district names around the city center )
Ik houd van u ("I love you" in Dutch)
Amsterdam!

[Verse] Am Em D
The scent is thick - like your head trapped in bricks
Sleeping widow descends and makes the night stick
Deep in alleys that wind where nobody knows
Are memories, mysterious, left under throws

[ Prechorus - didn't do this ]
Your silent procession from virtue to vice
Attracts swarming masses into your night

[ Chorus - supposed to have call-response backing vocal thing with massive harmonies on Amsterdam ]
Nooooord! (Ik houd van u) [ EEK HOW'D VAN OO ]
Zeeeeeburg! (Ik houd van u)
Centruuum! (Ik houd van u)
AM - STER - DAM!

[Bridge - Instrumental] Dm Am C G

[double Verse]
Towers reflecting against moonlit canals
Expressionist movement inspired this locale
Only here in the city of triple X flag
Can you enjoy special freedoms without going mad

And by day mount your bike, three speeds on the flats
Tulips and windmills and buses all lapse
To one vision of somewhere as if from a dream
Held safe for the moment by dikes below sea

[ Chorus ]
Nooooord! (Ik houd van u) [ EEK HOW'D VAN OO ]
Zeeeeeburg! (Ik houd van u)
Centruuum! (Ik houd van u)
AM - STER - DAM!

[nyjm]

C.N. McRay (Caravan Ray and noah mclaughlin - get it?)
(lyrics by Jacques Brel)

Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui chantent
Les rêves qui les hantent
Au large d`Amsterdam
Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui dorment
Comme des oriflammes
Le long des berges mornes
Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui meurent
Pleins de bière et de drames
Aux premières lueurs
Mais dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui naissent
Dans la chaleur épaisse
Des langueurs océanes

Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui mangent
Sur des nappes trop blanches
Des poissons ruisselants
Ils vous montrent des dents
A croquer la fortune
A décroisser la lune
A bouffer des haubans
Et ça sent la morue
Jusque dans le coeur des frites
Que leurs grosses mains invitent
A revenir en plus
Puis se lèvent en riant
Dans un bruit de tempête
Referment leur braguette
Et sortent en rotant

Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui dansent
En se frottant la panse
Sur la panse des femmes
Et ils tournent et ils dansent
Comme des soleils crachés
Dans le son déchiré
D`un accordéon rance
Ils se tordent le cou
Pour mieux s`entendre rire
Jusqu`à ce que tout à coup
L`accordéon expire
Alors le geste grave
Alors le regard fier
Ils ramènent leur batave
Jusqu`en pleine lumière

Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Y a des marins qui boivent
Et qui boivent et reboivent
Et qui reboivent encore
Ils boivent à la santé
Des putains d`Amsterdam
De Hambourg ou d`ailleurs
Enfin ils boivent aux dames
Qui leur donnent leur joli corps
Qui leur donnent leur vertu
Pour une pièce en or
Et quand ils ont bien bu
Se plantent le nez au ciel
Se mouchent dans les étoiles
Et ils pissent comme je pleure
Sur les femmes infidèles

Dans le port d`Amsterdam
Dans le port d`Amsterdam.

English version as performed by David Bowie

In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who sings
Of the dreams that he brings
From the wide open sea
In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who sleeps
While the river bank weeps
To the old willow tree
In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who dies
Full of beer, full of cries
In a drunken town fight
In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who's born
On a hot muggy morn
By the dawn's early light

In the port of Amsterdam
Where the sailors all meet
There's a sailor who eats
Only fish heads and tails
And he'll show you his teeth
That have rotted too soon
That can haul up the sails
That can swallow the moon
And he yells to the cook
With his arms open wide
"Hey, bring me more fish
Throw it down by my side"
And he wants so to belch
But he's too full to try
So he stands up and laughs
And he zips up his fly

In the port of Amsterdam
You can see sailors dance
Paunches bursting their pants
Grinding women to porch
They've forgotten the tune
That their whiskey voice croaked
Splitting the night
With the roar of their jokes
And they turn and they dance
And they laugh and they lust
Till the rancid sound of the accordion bursts
And then out of the night
With their pride in their pants
And the sluts that they tow
Underneath the street lamps

In the port of Amsterdam
There's a sailor who drinks
And he drinks and he drinks
And he drinks once again
He'll drink to the health
Of the whores of Amsterdam
Who've given their bodies
To a thousand other men
Yeah, they've bargained their virtue
Their goodness all gone
For a few dirty coins
Well he just can't go on
Throws his nose to the sky
And he aims it up above
And he pisses like I cry
On the unfaithful love

In the port of Amsterdam
In the port of Amsterdam

[Steve Durand]

Amsterdam

By Steve Durand


He studied music until
He started in vaudeville
At the tender age of just fourteen

While he played the cello
He was a funny fellow
His nickname was The Human Joke Machine

Finally his dream came true
He had a big breakthrough
With Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore

Then he showed up
On the Hollywood Squares
Where he was quite a ham

I'm talking about Morey Amsterdam

[HeadShot]

Amsterdam The MC HeadShot

When most people think about this town
They think lots of weed and sex, hey I’m down
But there’s a side to Amsterdam we never see
In the songs or the films on the silver screen
And I’ma shed some light on the little known facts
Cause Amsterdam ain’t all about smoking grass
And it’s sad that that’s all people care about
When I think Amsterdam It’s a familiar sound (ching ching)
Because anyone who’s anyone rides a bike
In Amsterdam they got traffic lights
That’ll hold you up for hours on end
So forget that noise, hop on this trend
And honk your horn and ring your bells
We about to have a tour up here, I’ll tell
You all about the Van Gogh museum
And house boats that house stray cats, you’ll see ‘em
In the poezenboat, that’s what it’s called
A cat has a home with AC installed
And I’m appalled at the low crime-rate
I thought I’d get mugged just showin’ my face
But it turns out they got less crime than us
More chance of gettin’ stabbed on an American bus
So quitcha bitchin’ about that movie “Hostel”
It’s fiction you fool, so stop actin’ doubtful
About makin’ a trip, the red light district
Ain’t all there is to see in the city of cycles

Ching ching
Amsterdam got a lot of ching ching

Now wait up, I said this tour ain’t over
Ain’t even got to the part about porkers
Seventy percent of the world’s bacon
Comes from the Netherlands, and I ain’t makin’
Up these facts as I go along
The internet provides all the facts I want
Amsterdam is held up by a million stakes
No joke they’re hangin’ above a huge lake
And canals run through it like you wouldn’t believe
Four thousand kilometers of them to be
Exact, they got glass bottom boats to ride
If you can afford it I hear it’s worth time
To go out of your way and see the sights
It’s all right just enjoy yourself, all right?
Around the bend a coffee shop will send
You to another world with their famous blends

[Ross]

Amsterdam
by Ross Durand

You made time stand still by the Amstel
And the Night Watch watched from afar
And we walked in circles till the sun rose too soon, too soon
We said things that night we would never say again
In Amsterdam

[king_arthur]

These are, as far as I can get them, the lyrics for the Old Man Grumpus entry in this fight:

AMSTERDAM by Old Man Grumpus

Sometimes people have a golden age
When the wealthiest and the shiniest ascend to the stage
Pacing down the avenue they elegantly (?) phrase
"We are the beautiful, our riches bountiful,
Our ships magnificent, our successes limited by no man."
In the seventeenth century, the wealthiest lived in Amsterdam
In the seventeenth century, they lived in Amsterdam.

Growing up, my throat choked on the smoke,
Under where the X wound the cars the famous drove. (?)
Walking down Sepulveda, I almost heard them quote,
"We are the beautiful, our deals are bountiful
Our homes magnificent, our success unlimited, it's all good."
In the twentieth age, the most glamorous stayed in Hollywood
In the twentieth age, they stayed in Hollywood.

Today, Amsterdam understands your kicks
Some say, Hollywood is so good for tricks
Anyway, all us other hicks are poorer than we used to be
And no one ever says to me,
"We are the beautiful, our fortunes bountiful,
Our lives magnificent, our success is guaranteed
In the twenty first century, we still don't get
All that we need."
In the twenty first century, we still don't get all we need.