Occupies the Place of a Review Thread (Occupy reviews)

[anti-m]

I will second Ken's "SON OF SUPERCAR?"

[blue]

Well, after literally years of emailing that we wrote some good tunes back in the day and should get together again, Dennis and I are back to rocking out. Our tune was recorded live to 2 mics - 1 drum, 1 guitar - in a tiny office with a tile floor. It was a freakin' nightmare. I am using and loving Presonus Studio One. Vox dubbed. Songwriting session recorded live to iphone here.

As with all first-take juices flowing songwriting demos, it is much better than the finished product. We shoulda kept it slow and used the same guitar.

The noises are backwards banjo.

[anti-m]

Well, I love it. It's a keeper.

[Paco Del Stinko]

Heh. Just a week or two ago I bemoaned: "Where's Blue when you need him?" And here you are. See?! I wonder if it works in the negative. Where's Crates when you need him?

[PiGPEN]

Voted for; Al Gore (can i sample this?), clayne, djrangerden, generic, pig junior, ADHD sportswriters, stateshirt, yyarell bros, myself (dealwithit).

Would have voted for _____ if it weren't for
BillyPsycho_the dissonant, forgettable chorus
dirge&sara_the vocal melody needing more movement
dontreply_the lack of iLL rhymes
rossD_my bias against hippy folk protest songs
tony&juan&adam_my bias against punky metal protest songs

[JonPorobil]

I never seem to hit that sweet spot where the vocals sit just right in the mix.

I have a couple of suggestions. The vocal and piano are both mixed dead centre. if you pan the piano off just a few degrees one way you will separate it out some. Secondly scoop out some of the mids on the piano where you voice sits, in the 250-500 Hz (middle C to C2) range maybe. The piano is very full, which is fine for a solo piano piece but in a mix you probably want to scoop it like this to open up some space for the voice. Third, maybe a bit of reverb on the piano to take it back in the mix and leave the voice sounding forward. Fourth, do a mix with the vocal sounding right to you, then do one +3dB and one -3dB. Listen to all three of them over the shittiest speakers you can find, even the bleed from a set of headphones or a kids' toy radio. Or put it on in the studio, close the door and stand outside. You'll soon figure which one is right.

I thought the overall vocal level was right on this but it was fighting with the piano, which was the problem.

I'll play with this when I get home. Thank you for the suggestions!

[Spud]

[*]Occupy J*: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Amazing. Needs theramin. Never sing in English again. I bet Spud peed a little when he heard this.

Are you kidding me? Vote!!!

[fodroy]

noah mclaughlin: sounds like the dude from the national shooting silly string all over the place but forgetting to have fun while doing so.

pace del stinko: reckless metaphors and bombastic delivery. this is like shooting bullets believing the gun to be a can of silly string.

the pancetta army: well, this could be straight out of a target commercial. this will be one of the main vote getters i think. good songcraft, will offend no one, perty mouth, etc.

king arthur: smooth jazz delivered unironically in 2011 is like smooth jazz delivered unironically in any year and i've never understood it. makes me want to listen to destroyer's newest.

dont reply: this sounds really cool, but it never gets to the point where it actually does anything cool. i was really hoping for this to go crazy.

metaluna: this is sort of what i expected from a band called metaluna. a not quite metal shout at the moon.

mc charlie oh: so is this what happens to nerdcore after odd future?

tony and juan and adam: whoah. rage. against.... something.

c.layne: very cool. i don't really have much else to say.

sonofsupercar: this has an awesome groove and delivery. i feel like it's one part away from awesome, like that stripped down chorus in where is my mind.

dirge and sarah: i honestly can't think of anything to say about this.

sportswriters: the hold steady has a baby brother. or maybe teenage fanclub. but this is more subdued. it's very pleasurable listening and i wanted the last chorus to really be that anthemic motherfucker of a chorus. maybe i'm an idiot.

yyaarreell bbrrootthheerrss bbaanndd: i couldn't remember after toggling to chrome which letters to type twice so i typed them all twice. this is pleasurable. i could see this on an episode of scrubs while zach braff and becky #2 learn another lesson about life and love. i like that noodly sounding guitar solo.

billy and the psychotics: the piano sounds really cool and airy and the guitar too. but meh.

pigpen: this is like faith no more meets dirt nasty. i bet you don't have that much money.

ross durand: opposite of a protest song? this feels too clever to occupy my hart. very well done though.

elephant finger...: does this sample homestar runner or trio? it has a definite da da da feel. this is awesome and will probably get my vote.

dj danger ren: is this the same singer as on the billy and the psychotics song? i'm expecting a big change in the song because of the dj name. my dog stopped playing and fell asleep during this. maybe i'll loop this song when i have to leave her at home alone.

jon eric: you are billy joel. this is probably the catchiest song in the fight.

monkey touchers: and i thought i put the least amount of effort into this week's fight.

pigfarmer jr: praise. the. lord. with those chords. definitely learned songcraft from j. mascis. just feels too stumbly.

dealin doug and the rocky's autos: apparently, from denver? i was kind of hoping it would be nothing but history channel or whatever that was at the beginning. this is actually really cool though. this reminds me a lot of a songfighter from a while back called r. mosquito.

sep: here is a case of someone spraying silly string and knowing that it's silly string. i think.

berkeley social scene: this is a good song.

state shirt: this is kind of epic and pretty.

things i remembered: songfighters will never say no to a guitar solo. songfight songs usually impress me more when they steer clear from using the fight title in the lyrics (or at least in the chorus).

[fodroy]

Al Gore (can i sample this?)

yes. do whatever you want with it.

[hillbilly]

DJ ----killer liyics, you are a sweetheart, theres a few places your voice gets away from you, but really enjoyed, your best song yet.

[hillbilly]

Ross good guit. lick, I like this, most on this site wont, who gives a fuk. got one of my votes.

[MC Charlie_0]

HATERS GONNA HATE

[JonPorobil]

jon eric: you are billy joel. this is probably the catchiest song in the fight.

Awesome. I've got myself a new sig quote.

Good to see you back, Dan.

[RangerDenni]

DJ ----killer liyics, you are a sweetheart, theres a few places your voice gets away from you, but really enjoyed, your best song yet.

why thank you
I'll be retrying fully thru the track of course to get it Spot On. Also I don't care for the reverbs quite yet.

I have drawn forth productive and useful information from all comments. luvs and thanks.

[MisterQuoons]

dealin doug and the rocky's autos: apparently, from denver? i was kind of hoping it would be nothing but history channel or whatever that was at the beginning. this is actually really cool though. this reminds me a lot of a songfighter from a while back called r. mosquito.

LOL. I didn't actually expect anyone to get the joke there. Songs like this with weird, disposable names are pretty much what happens when I've got like four hours to kill, and kind of feel like writing a song, but not really enough to put a whole lot of effort into it.

[PiGPEN]

i bet you don't have that much money.

pogs.jpg (175.22 KiB) Viewed 2648 times

Al Gore (can i sample this?)

yes. do whatever you want with it.

Sweet, although i was just going to ignore you and use it anyways if you said no.

[sportswriters]

Couple words about my entry. It totally, completely came from the discussion in the last fight thread with Roymond about odd metres. I started fooling around with 11/8, 13/8 and 15/8 and I got that 123 123 123 12 12 12 rhythm going with a simple I-IV change and it just grew from there. I basically edited it together piece by piece in Logic until I had something that kind of worked - very unusual process for me. I had a vocal melody but no words and it was in the wrong key so I re-tracked everything as fast as I could and mixed the backing while waiting for inspiration to strike. Which it finally did approximately an hour before the deadline, so I ended up with 30 minutes to record the main vocal (without bugging my wife, so I had to keep it down) and I never did have time to do anything with the drums.

Anyway, long story short, I retracked the main vocal, changed the ending, and switched out the shitty drum samples for something better and you can listen to it here if you are so minded:

http://soundcloud.com/sportswriters/occupy-my-heart

I much prefer this vocal: it's got some passion in the choruses.

The funny thing was I had no problem with the 15/8 signature EXCEPT for the vocal, which is really tricky to get the time right on...

edit: oh yeah, I do have a drum kit here but learning to play a 15/8 groove in time for this was beyond me. I live in the middle of nowhere so competent drummers are a bit thin on the ground.

[roymond]

Anyway, long story short, I retracked the main vocal, changed the ending, and switched out the shitty drum samples for something better and you can listen to it here if you are so minded:

http://soundcloud.com/sportswriters/occupy-my-heart

This is great. Thanks for posting. Vocals could still be higher in the mix, but there's good punch here.

[j$]

elephant finger...: does this sample homestar runner or trio? it has a definite da da da feel. this is awesome and will probably get my vote.

It doesn't sample Trio but it uses the same instrument, the Casio VL-Tone, and possibly the same rhythm preset.

Oh by the way my keyboard playing finger got bitten by a mosquito whilst in Paris and swelled up to the size of a gobstopper, which is why I am Elephant Finger this time out.

j$

[hillbilly]

Dj--- best lyrics have heard long time, off on merry scary , and just because its true, your voice wonders, got to love it or hate it. Its growing on me. Really dont know you but digg these lyrics, sounds like the babe you want but cant have.

[hillbilly]

Dj, that really turns me on, Tell Billy to call me. K Im drunk nite.

[the panna cotta army]

*PANACOTTA ARMY
Now we're talking. Already this is the best track by far. Lazy rhyme of 'heart/apart', could do better, see me afterwards. Well produced and well played. Nice percussion at 1'08. Piano fits nicely. Love the little stops. Bridge is sweet and simple. Vocal is warm and relaxed. Slight ?London accent reminds me of Noel Harrison's Windmills of Your Mind, in a good way. Hey, and it finished before I wanted it to! This gets my vote

Cheers for the encouraging words. 'heart/apart' - yeah, I know, whereas the music comes kind of natural, lyric writing is always a bit of a struggle for me hence lazy lapses into cliché territory. Born and bred in London (south) so you're spot on there.