The John McCain story (Left/Right reviews)

[erik]

Here some stuff to read that will not help you make better songs:

baker: left RIIIIIIIGHT left RIIIIIIIIGHT stop THAAAAAAT for REEEEEAAAALS the hook is annoying to a high degree. I hate political songs with lots of detail because the lyrics are almost always shoehorned into the lines, and the more detail, the more it feels like propaganda. This song has done nothing to make me hate political songs less. I do not like this.

Futureboy: Again, not a big fan of the political song. Or of the opinion that there is little to no difference between the left and the right. So that makes me not like the song. With different lyrics, I would find this okay; it's a little too nicey-nice sounding.

Hobbes: This sounds like one of those songs that is a hit for a local band in their home town, and they have to play the fuck out of it, and they end up becoming a local one hit wonder. Oh man, you did NOT just say "heart up on the shelf", the else/shelf rhyme is quite possibly the worst rhyme known to man, rivaling girl/world. Man, that snare is very reverby. You can't notice it as much when the guitars kick in, but in the beginning, it's very reverby. There's no real lyrical or musical hook to make me remember the song after it's done. It just kind of does the same thing over and over again, loud, then soft, then loud, then repeating. Gah, it's like a Weezer song with no chorus. I don't really like this.

Jeremy Martin: All the parts sound too "awwwshucks nice" like you're sitting on stools that are on top of oriental rugs. Lyrics need to be brought up because it sounds like they're an integral part of the song, but I can't make enough of them out. Get up off that stool for the singing on the end part, you gotta sell it. This song is okay, but kind of boring.

Josh Woodward: The strident strumming reminds me of Hammell on Trial, who is a acoustic guitar player who plays a similar kind of driving acoustic rock. This is one of those songs that would sound cool if you established the melody, and then just sing all around it; you hold the melody close for the whole song, and that kind of makes it hard to get some real emotive screamsinging in, especially because the melody has such quick changes, and long sustained notes make it easier to do that kind of thing. So what might sound cool is to lay out the melody for a verse/chorus, and then go a little "You may ask yourself/ how did I get here" on it, returning to the melody on the "see you later player hater" part. Cool lyrics. Parasite is a weird word to end the song on, as is to end on that part of the melody. A singalong outro or some sort of coda might be cool here. This song is pretty cool.

Max the Cat: Hmmmm, this song is okay, but I hate the arrangement, specifically the sounds on the keys. Might sound cool like more stripped down acoustic thing. The politicalness of the song, I can handle about this much politicalness, although it's still not my cup of tea. The lyrics come so fast and furious that by the time I got the end, and the whole "God Bless America" thing came, I had to go back and relisten to understand the tone. Which isn't really a problem, unless a person only gets one listen. This song is okay.

Neil Thrun: Both guitars sound weinery. The song is very dorky. Again, the politcal thing, however tongue-in-cheek, is just completely souring the song for me. This song needs a chorus, stat. This song, I do not like it.

Poor History: I hate Giddeon Yago and any who sounds like him. I hate the tone of his voice. To cop a Beavisism, if I wanted to learn stuff, I'd go to school. The backing music is not interesting enough to not make me want to listen to all the blathering on about whatever in the background. In a talking-over-the-music song, you need a really strong song, and this is not one. I don't like this.

Kyle: Music is too MIDI, singing is too lounge-singery. Very goofy and not my thing. I think the song would sound way better if you played it about 1/2 as fast, maybe 2/3 as fast. This song, I can't really get into it.

Wreckdom: YEAH what is making the drony atonal whine? I can kind of squeeze a similar noise out of a baby monitor, but can't control the pitch so much. I really like that sound, what do you use? The music up until about 1:19 is not bad, but ruined by the wacky-style singing. It would have sounded pretty cool with two singers screaming like motherfuckers, one guy screaming LEFT and the other guy screaming RIGHT, because like it is you can hear the breathing, and it sounds funny, but with two guys, you can take a breath while the other guy is screaming his word. From then until 2:05, the singing is errmmm, decent, but the music and melody is not decent. The Bush thing is amusing, but a lame song-ender.

TADA THAT IS ALL I KNOW

[Eric Y.]

Here's what I'm looking for: "You're having a problem with this. Here's a way to make it better... "
Here's what I'm getting: "You suck."

[fodroy]

whoa. i forgot all about red meat comics.

[TVsKyle]

I never said I gave a crap about nice.

[Mogosagatai]

<b>Josh Woodward:</b> Who's this about? I wouldn't think pissed-off guytar would work very well, but it does here, in the same way that some of Dashboard Confessional's better stuff works. Terrible lyric: "See you later, player hater"--yuck. Nice job on strumming the fuck out of your guitar, though.

<b>Jeremy Martin:</b> I'm not liking your singing--it's really lifeless. The music's sorta the same way. It's not that the tune is bad, but that this song would've been much better had it been played with a more distinct style or feeling--hard rock, slow and pretty, IDM, folksy, whatever. As it is, it's just sorta blah.

<b>Neil Thrun et al:</b> You've gotten <i>much</i> better at performance, though the singing is still pretty shaky. I still maintain that if you're gonna do guytar, you've gotta make a really interesting tune. This one is way too predictable and overdone (not lyrically--I liked what lyrics I noticed).

<b>Poor History:</b> Ne poofez pas le mic. And make your voice a little louder. You crazy bastard.

<b>TV's Kyle:</b> The drums sound like they're coming from behind a wall, and I don't like that drum filler that you keep throwing in (ba-dup, ba-dup). The singing could stand to be less nasally. Other than that, this is decent.

<b>Level Nivelo:</b> A nice little piece, except it sounds like you're slamming the keys, while you should be gently touching them for a tune like this. Regardless of whether that's an actual piano--I can't tell.

<b>Future Boy:</b> Creative instrumentation. I like that weird synthy "whee-oo-whee-ooo" that appears occasionally. This song flows pretty well. I agree with you on the issue, too.

<b>Baker:</b> Bad singing followed by worse rapper. The beat is actually creative in the way that you've taken a regular hip-hop beat and shifted it over a little bit--but it's also boring.

<b>15-16 puzzle:</b> Just a little too boring for my taste. Also, it sounds like there's a typewriter key being struck every time you hit the xylophone, which is distracting in a bad way.

<b>Hobbes:</b> Pretty good, though pretty generic. Nice performance, and I like the staccato bloops.

<b>Max the Cat:</b> I love the onslaught of Nintendo music after the strummy guitar. Man, this is really weird. I'm not yet sure what to make of it, except that I like it. The rant about God goes on a little too long at the end, though--coulda been done it considerably less time with the same effect.

<b>WreckdoM:</b> The fucked-up chipmunk voice is pretty awesome. The music is sort of a let down though, cuz it sounds like it's gearing up for lots of rock that never comes. The chop-up at the end is sorta funny but not nearly as funny as the one in major circulation.

______________________________________________

<b>Future Boy</b> flies through the finish line tape. A few seconds later, <b>Josh Woodward</b> angrily barrels in for second, just ahead of super-weird <b>Max the Cat</b>. A while later, a rather out-of-breath Level Nivelo stumbles through for fourth, having wasted way too much energy on hitting piano keys.

[Mogosagatai]

I somehow forgot to mention <b>Hobbes</b> in the line-up, who actually fell right between Future Boy and Josh Woodward. No prize for second, but it's a good song.

[bortwein]

... Short of getting a drummer, all I have in my posession to make backbeats with is a couple of keyboards, some BONGOS!, a tambourine, and a few assorted noisemakers. Have any suggestions?

Bongos can give you a great backbeat with the right amount of power behind them. If you haven't already heard of the band Guster, then get yourself a copy and see what you can do with those bongos.

[TVsKyle]

Bongos can give you a great backbeat with the right amount of power behind them. If you haven't already heard of the band Guster, then get yourself a copy and see what you can do with those bongos.

I'll look into that. Thanks!

[Leaf]

Max the Cat First off, it starts out sounding interesting, then as the layers are added, it starts to take on the tone of a video game soundtrack... but a really cool one mind you! I totally dug this track Max. It was exciting to listen to, busy, but not with any elements that I found distracting, and it had some real cool elements. My first reaction, after one listen, is CONTENDER.
Wrekdom The intro reminds me of a Cult song, "Big Neon Glitter"... I liked this. I have not an idea what the lyrics are, but I liked the demented, fucked up elements... I also like how you do what you do regardless of critique, at least that's how it seems to me. sometimes I Iike your stuff, sometimes I don't. I think that melody right off hooked me into this piece... and the Bush stuff at the end was ... kinda brilliant actually. Well done. CONTENDER
TV's Kyle I think you write decent songs, but your recording style has not grown with your material. Not just the recording quality, but your choice of arrangements and instrumentation takes away from the catchy elements you bring. I think you need to take some time to improve and beef up your selection of sounds, and recording techiniuqes, cause it detracts from your work. Good song though, I enjoyed it, reminded me of the Toasters, but not as ska-like... GOOD.
Poor History Not that great. numerous reasons. First off... not a song. It's a narrative with a poorly performed backing track. Secondly, who wants a highschool history lesson presented like this? There is nothing appealling about this track, other than the fact that you have a decent sounding narrative voice... but the whole thing just... sorry, stinks.
Jeremy Martin well, your production is not at the top of the class, and the vocals have tuning issues, but the feel of the tune is decent... reminds me of Sam Roberts...or the stones I guess. the song itself is pretty good... I bet with better production, and some polish on the performances, I'd call this a contender, but as it is, not bad, not great, just OK.
Downwithgender So you can twist dials and modulate sounds... this is not good. Honestly, I'm close to boycotting your stuff... I'll probably always give the first 10 seconds a listen, but this may be the last time I sit through one of your creations. It's just not very good. In fact, it's awful.
Future Boy Very nice, very peaceful sounding. Kind of a psychedlic/frank zappaish vibe to it as well. A co-worker jsut walked by, and she totally dug this. She said, " wow, very nice music to work with... I wish I had speakers at my desk" (get them!) "so I could listen to stuff like that...." Also reminds me of my boys choir days... a CONTENDER
Hobbes I love guitar. This sounds like a Blink song. Alot. The harmonies sound awkward, in blend and recording style mostly, some ways in arrangement. I love the snare sound. The leads aren't thick enough in tone... I'dd add a subtle delay to that lead and a touch of reverb to fatten it up... and some gain.. it's too "fender 30 watt amp" sounding, and not in a cool way. Bass is non-existent on these speakers (genreric "ALTEC/LANSING desktop computer speakers)...as the tune develops, I enjoy it more.. I really like the bridge, it's kindof ballsy to slip into a synthy arrpegiattor kinda groove, and the snare build is nice... the mix isn't quite right, but you got a good tune, a good ideas, especially for a week. I like it. CONTENDER.
Baker dude, too bad you're following Hobbes.. but it's songfight, and you gotta survive all challengers to come out on top... this needs a lot of work in production, arrangement, basically it's weak. I suspect you totally dig it, which is cool, but you also gotta realize ( if you don't already) that you are not at a calibre where you can legitimately win songfight right now. However, not many people in music start out kicking ass right away... and it takes guts to put yourself on the line at songfight. It's not terrible, but it's definitely not to my likeing...
Level Nivelo I wish I could play piano like that. But I can't. I also wish you had a keyboard sound that wasn't so fake and cheesy sounding. A nice, church-reminicent intrumental. I love instrumental music, although I rarely would vote for one on songfight, but it was pleasant to listen to...
Neil Thrun Your best sounding effort yet. Vocals too quite in this mix... you need to start experimenting with very subtle reverbs or even more subdued delays to give your music more space and room dynamics... more capable people than I could coach you on the way to do that, or you can just play with that stuff to find what works for you.. but your mix sounds too one-dimensional... it sounds like my ear is right by your guitar, and the vocals are an after thought. The playing is so stellar compared to a few months ago! this is not a bad song, it doesn't capture my vote, but not from a lack of trying, others are just better to my ear, but I liked this for the most part...yeah, more production skills... strumming guitar is a touch harsh or hard sounding, but ...yeah. GOOD JOB.
Josh Woodward Nice guitar...I find that whenever I hear a Woodward piece, it sounds very different from the last one. Good song, nicely played, your vocals have really improved since the last time I listened to your stuff: here's how: the whole thing sounds "on" and confident... occasionally in the past I could pick out "something" to knock, but not on this one... I like it. It' s got some anger...nice chorus... Dude, this is my favourite of yours thus far... great energy! It rocks, you are a CONTENDER x 2. \
15-16 Puzzle The mix is quiet... I had to crank it to hear the lyrics. I never have the guts to do stuff like this. It's very sparse... I was getting into it at the top, but as it progressed, I started to drift off... then it caught me again... then... I find the melody line is very percussive, and hurky jerky...I wish I could pick out the lyrics more, cause it seems like knowing them is critical to getting this one. As I'm at work, I can't crank it too much... so I'm ambivelant towards this piece. ...kay, I'm back from the lyric thread, read the lyrics, they are awesome. The music makes more sense now too, although, I think these lyrics deserve a better muscial treatment, cause they've got a lot of pain in them... Lyrics CONTENDER, music... ok.


This was a good fight. I wanted to be in this one, and when Sober suggested he could do some vocals I was especially interested, but TIME TIME TIME... oh well.

My list for tops in the fight, in no particular order:
Woodward, Max the Cat, Wrekdom, Future Boy, Hobbes.

In no particular order, tunes that had a lot of promise, or I just liked, or whatever:

Neil Thrun, 15-16's lyrics, Martin, TV's Kyle, Nivelo's playing...

And... that's all from me on the review front. Thanks for the tunes all!!

[DOWNWITHGENDER2]

Max the Cat
Downwithgender So you can twist dials and modulate sounds... this is not good. Honestly, I'm close to boycotting your stuff... I'll probably always give the first 10 seconds a listen, but this may be the last time I sit through one of your creations. It's just not very good. In fact, it's awful.

actually there were no dials within my reach to physically twist... so there. I made it repetitive but with new spins cause thats like what politics are.

[downwithgender]

your song sucks.

[Eric Y.]

would you fucking people PLEASE get some smaller avatars so you aren't taking up half a damn page with a one-line post!?

[Future Boy]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their amusing reviews and occassionally very baffling ones. I'm surprised at how many people have reviewed this fight so far, it's very exciting. Perhaps the voter turnout vibe is rubbing off on the review threads. For the record, my personal opinion about the current election IS NOT the same as the view put forth in my song. I think it's important for people to be able to sing about things they don't believe in. In fact, I care about this election so much that I spent election day in New Hampshire holding a Kerry/Edwards sign outside of a polling place. Anyway, reviews sooooon.

[DOWNWITHGENDER2]

would you fucking people PLEASE get some smaller avatars so you aren't taking up half a damn page with a one-line post!?

I like how we get shit for having slightly large avatars but not wreckdom... FReeDom Of TEh SpEECh!

[j$]

would you fucking people PLEASE get some smaller avatars so you aren't taking up half a damn page with a one-line post!?

I like how we get shit for having slightly large avatars but not wreckdom... FReeDom Of TEh SpEECh!

You could always lead by example.

[Leaf]

Max the Cat
Downwithgender So you can twist dials and modulate sounds... this is not good. Honestly, I'm close to boycotting your stuff... I'll probably always give the first 10 seconds a listen, but this may be the last time I sit through one of your creations. It's just not very good. In fact, it's awful.

actually there were no dials within my reach to physically twist... so there. I made it repetitive but with new spins cause thats like what politics are.

I appreciate your artistic perspective... and it makes sense... I still don't enjoy it, I'm not moved by it, and frankly, it's just not that good. Music is a form of communication... just having something to say doesn't make that topic interesting, compelling or entertaining. Also, entertaining yourself is great fun, but don't get upset (not saying you are, just making another blanket policy) if others are not interested. In this forum, you are presenting your ideas to a body of people who will comment on it. Therefore, saying "so there" is rather meaningless. From your groups defensive posturings and teenage retalitaory comments, it's clear you care what people think, which is strange, because you don't attempt to create music that caters to the likes of those very peoples comments that seem to upset you! Basically, either do what you do cause it's what you do, or recognize that you care about what others think, and start growing your material so it will work for them!!!


Whew.

Obviously I care too.

[Jim of Seattle]

Favorites in <font color=blue>blue</font>

15-16 Puzzle
I think I just don't understand this. The toy piano concept might work if I had a sense of a vision for the song, which I don't. With such a high-concept arrangement I need more specific in-my-face lyrics. That's what makes RxW's songs work with their spare arrangements. These lyrics are too vague to make the concept play.

Baker
I'm with you politically, but not musically.

Down With Gender
Totally boring. Made it about halfway through

<font color=blue>Future Boy
I chuckled at your funky time signature changes. The vocal harmonies are really crisp. This seems to be a lot more professionally produced than your previous songs. Nice job there. Can't agree with your depressing politics.</font>

Hobbes
My left brain says very good. There's a lot of clever production. This would have taken me every bit of a week to put together. My right brain is kinda bored, though.

Jeremy Martin
Fine.

Josh Woodward
I find this song really annoying. You seem to be relying on JWisms on too many levels. I swear I've heard you sing this song before, but just played really fast and aggressively this time.

Level Nivelo
Way too Midi quantized and lifeless. Musically it's alright, though sounds more like an exercise than a really inspired piece. The panning is too severe also, though because of the nature of the piece I can hear why you had that instinct. Perhaps just a little more centered on each track.

<font color=blue>Max the Cat
Very very cool percussion tracks there. Love the vocal harmonies, love the politics as usual. Great production. You've really proved yourself one of my favorite songfighters. Almost definitely getting my vote.</font>

Neil Thrun and the Doom Fairies
OK. Tired chord progression played only so-so and an uninspired tune sung so-so.

Poor History
Boring. The relevance of the reading escapes me, so that kept me at a far distance. The Midi is too Midi-ish and the vocal recording needs to be quantized. I don't understand the Kerry thing at the end.

TV's Kyle
You managed to take a bunch of midi tracks and make them sort of rock. Too many lyrics are lost, but I'm not counting that too much against you. Try again with more conviction and you've got something here.

WreckdoM
*sigh* More Wreckdom-ness. Made it about halfway through.

[Leaf]

Hobbes: to repeat (as I was just listening to your tune again) GREAT SNARE SOUND.

[j$]

Well, believe it or not, I came this close to voting for Josh Woodward.

I love that tune and for once I heard some real passion in one of his songs. But a couple of things swung me away from it. One - I think it's a terrible shame that the first time (to my ears, in the songs of his I've heard) that Josh gets truly angry is over 'player-haters'. Focus your anger on more important targets, I would say to that. Secondly, this has been described as 'folk/punk' to whch I would say you're only half-right Thirdly the final 'Parasite' sounds a bit strange to me. Doesn't fit with the overall flow of the song to my ears. But it is a very good song and I would love to hear more in this style from Mr Woodward.

So my final 3 were

3. 15-16 Puzzle. Cool. But I agree with others when they say that it's a little long.
2. Josh Woodward. See above.
1. Future Boy. Damn. That's pretty. Good. Pretty damn good!

J$

[slowRodeo]

Jeremy Martin - 6/10
Pros - Good song. I really enjoyed your music and your lyrics alot. I liked how the drums drove the song. kept my attention all the way through. nice live sound.

Cons - Your vocals were off - key. i know i know no ones perfect, but in today's music you have to be perfect or at least the proud owner of a program that can fix it. the chorus where you had two vocals needed better mixing. little annoying. maybe the background vocals quieter.

Down with gender - 0/10

Pros - none

Cons - not only was this techno but it was bad techno i had to turn it off because it was so annoying. this is the worst thing i've ever heard. im sorry you have done good stuff before but this is a candidate for screening songs for quality before we vote on them. i absolutly hate this song. please listen to your songs before submitting. im sorry that im extremely harsh but give your music something. maybe a decent beat if its techno, a hook, or least some remnants of a concept. this song had nothing going for it. nothing.

JoshWoodward - 7/10
Pros -Your music was great, driving and played with emotion. vocals were dead on. You have amazing production skills.

Cons - I was not impressed with your melody i found it bland and rather like something ive heard before. Maybe it was delivery. I loved the song for three day waiting period that was new, fresh and orginal, from start to finish, lyrics, music, melody. this was not impressive to me. I didnt really like your lyrics, i think your rhyme scheme was simplistic and overused. You didnt really say anything and just left me wondering what exactly your song was about. you may have had good intentions but it didnt seem like you really meant anything you said. there were high points: "you just dont geeet it! " was sung really well, you meant that. mean ever line, act, just make it sound like you mean it.

Future boy - 5/10
Pros - i liked your lyrics and general concept. very political. your vocal delivery suited your music and lyrics well.

Cons - The two voices were kinda annoying they got old quick. your vocals while delivered well were off-key. it ended abrubly no build up or climax. and not in a good radiohead way, a very boring way. maybe a little bit more structure would have helped.

level nivelo - 8/10
pros - good musicianship. showed talent. i was impressed. held my attention all the way through.

Cons - i dont see anything major wrong with it. maybe a change in tempo or going double time would have made things better, but it wasnt bad without it. other intruments might be nice to. branch out. i cant vote for you because all it was piano and not really a representation of the title left/right.

Hobbes - Voted for! 9/10
Pros - I thought your song was really well layered. i like the bloops. Your vocal delivery was good. You sound like rivers from weezer in your background vocals in the chorus. very interesting, nice build up and and chorus. i really like the fast lyrics very cool and kept my attention. Great structure and just a good indie pop song. if postal service was a band, it would sound like this. you did a really good job. the synth line at the middle/end was great. you had great musical and lyrical hooks.

loved the level 37 elf line.

Cons - The two vocalist on the first verse/intro were distracting. maybe a falsetto singing along with you would have been better. Your lyrics were good but a few lines seemed only there to ryhme the next line unknown and snowed. It seemed you had two songs going on that didnt really mix. you sang about snow and your love for snowboarding and how you wanted it to snow. but then you had this other part in the verses and first part of the chorus that was about this relationship and a fight you were having and what was going on in your head. both were good but didnt mesh and left me a little confused.

15-16 puzzle - 1/10
pros - ok lyrics.

cons - as soon as this song started i wanted it to end. too slow just horrible. im too tired to tell you all the things that were wrong with this song. nothing happened just too damn boring. jeesh i really didnt like your song sorry keep trying. i didnt finish the song. learn a new intrument.

Tv's Kyle - 2/10
Pros - your vocals, melody and delivery complemented eachother. needed more than that though.

Cons - Ok your song had nothing going on musically or otherwise. not much to listen to. there was no discernable change through the whole song. for your drum issues perhaps a programmed drummer. i know a few people on here who use programmed drums and it sound good. yellowcard(not a songfighter, the band) is programmed drums even though they have a drummer. just find ways to make it more interesting. more instruments, different intruments. anything. a build up. a change in tempo or music in some way. it was just very boring.

wreckdoM - 2/10
Pros - liked the chainsaw/crazy noise. the change was nice. i didnt expect it. the bush quote at end was great. loved it. got you the two points. it was 0/10 and i changed it because of that.

Cons - the voice was annoying. i can be of abosolutly no help. really. sucked


neil thrun and doom fairies - 4/10
pros - liked your guitar playing. a couple note-buzzes. good structure. good lyrics and concept

cons - kinda boring. nothing to hold my attention. kinda repeating. the vocals were a little lackluster, they lacked lust.(sorry i love elvis costello)
umm could have used a little change in the music. maybe more strumming for your chorus.

poor history - 1/10

pros - the delivery was good. i liked the passage.

cons - would have been a good like filler track. but was annoying otherwise. backing track was ok not really that impressive either.

max the cat - 6/10
pros - liked the synth line. great lyrics and delivery. really loved. liked the backing vocal thingys. great concept. very bigoted, loved it.

cons - umm yahweh is gods name you idiot. its the tetragrammadon or name of god and is in the bible 7000 times. everytime you see LORD or GOD (all caps) its supposed to be gods name. YHWH or in english JHVH - jehovah. look at psalms 83:18 in your king james. your an idiot. but other than that liked your song. not to get all religiony on ya sorry bout that. very devil went down to goergia. now if only this song had a bridge or hook would have been real good.

Baker - 0/10
pros - your rhymed all that crap.

cons - you should not make a song ever again. this was horrible. no flow or breath control.

[erik]

max the cat - 6/10
pros - liked the synth line. great lyrics and delivery. really loved. liked the backing vocal thingys. great concept. very bigoted, loved it.

cons - umm yahweh is gods name you idiot. its the tetragrammadon or name of god and is in the bible 7000 times. everytime you see LORD or GOD (all caps) its supposed to be gods name. YHWH or in english JHVH - jehovah. look at psalms 83:18 in your king james. your an idiot. but other than that liked your song. not to get all religiony on ya sorry bout that. very devil went down to goergia. now if only this song had a bridge or hook would have been real good.

Go listen to Randy Newman's "Short People". Alot.

[Mogosagatai]

I second that emotion. A lot.