Odds That....

Post by jb » Fri Nov 12, 2004 2:07 pm

.... the phone will ring when I'm on the other side of the house from any handset = 50%

.... the phone will ring when I'm in the bathroom for either a shower or to do my business = 60%

.... when I'm walking somewhere and someone else is standing still and talking or looking at something, that they will begin walking again at the exact moment when I will be required to dodge their unwary selves = 75%

.... I won't get what I ordered at any given restaurant = %90 (this is a particular phenomenon related to me that any number of people can swear to)

.... If I don't get what I ordered at a restaurant, that some small item won't be charged on our bill, such as my ice tea = %80

.... My car will require $1000 in repairs the week after I send in the last loan payment = 100%

HeuristicsInc · Post by **HeuristicsInc** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 4:37 pm

If I'm at a restaurant, and we're waiting for the food, and I get up to go to the bathroom, the food will be there when I get back - 75%

It's my special super power.
-bill

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 6:18 pm

HeuristicsInc wrote:If I'm at a restaurant, and we're waiting for the food, and I get up to go to the bathroom, the food will be there when I get back - 75%

It's my special super power.
-bill

I too share this power!!

ODDS THAT:

I will break a string/stick/drum head/bass drum pedal ONLY if I do not have a replacement: 85%

If I have a replacement string: 1 %

If I have a spare stick: .5 %

I will screw up the lyrics if a woman dances in front of me, and makes unneccessary eye contact : 100.00000001 %

My job title will change WITHOUT a change in pay, or a reduction in other responisbilities: 100%

I have no clue how to determine odds: 73.5 %

I will score a goal in hockey (it's ball hockey, so take this with a grain of salt): 99%

That my injuries will be directly proportional to my goal tally: 88 %

...(last week I dislocated a rib, got hit in the eye by the ball, a stick to the chest, and the chin. In one game. I scored two goals and had a few assists. was it worth it? Yes but don't tell Dana!!!!!)

Finally: That JB will start a trendy thread that will inspire tons of similar responses: ;pretty damn good.

Dan-O from Five-O · Post by **Dan-O from Five-O** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 7:11 pm

Odds that:

I will miss the key moment in anything I'm watching on TV because I got up to grab something to eat or drink - 66%

I will hear that moment from the other room and come running back in after it's over - 85%

Someone will call forcing me out of the room BEFORE the replay - 90%

The team or individual I am rooting for in a contest that really, really matters will lose - 100%

An attractive woman will dance in front of me prevocatively at a gig - 25%

That it will happen if my wife is at the gig - 95%

I will make it to work without one of the following and not realize it until I get there: Wallet, belt, pager, cell phone and I kid you not, matching socks - 15%

My next entry for Song Fight will on time - 10%

That it will garner any votes - 5%

Someone will gripe about my reviews - 100%

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 8:09 pm

You bitches need to learn how to do Vegas odds, proper.

98% = 49:1
90% = 9:1
80% = 4:1
75% = 3:1
60% = 3:2
66% = 2:1
10% = 1:9

erik · Post by **erik** » Fri Nov 12, 2004 9:08 pm

Arent these all backwards? Cuz I usually go to the races and bet on horses that either have funny names, or horses that have great pay offs, like 100:1.

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Sat Nov 13, 2004 1:55 am

15-16 puzzle wrote:Arent these all backwards? Cuz I usually go to the races and bet on horses that either have funny names, or horses that have great pay offs, like 100:1.

Yeah, I guess you're right. Usually people say "4:1 against" or "1:9 favorite" to eliminate misunderstanding.

the Jazz · Post by **the Jazz** » Sat Nov 13, 2004 12:39 pm

Odds that the next poster will use "vegas style" odds: 50%

Odds that the next poster would have used "vegas style" odds, if I had said the odds were very low: 95%

Odds that the next poster would have used "vegas style" odds, if I hadn't posted any odds on the subject: 68%

Odds that any of my odds are even close to correct: 7%

Odds that, if you think about that enough, your head will explode: 100%

Sober · Post by **Sober** » Sun Nov 14, 2004 8:06 pm

jb wrote:.... when I'm walking somewhere and someone else is standing still and talking or looking at something, that they will begin walking again at the exact moment when I will be required to dodge their unwary selves = 75%

That rate increases if the person is carrying anything important, or if you are a waiter and they are a customer.

Jim of Seattle · Post by **Jim of Seattle** » Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:21 pm

... the chances of my being inspired by a Songfight title is inversely proportional to the amount of time I have to put together a song that week.

mkilly · Post by **mkilly** » Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:31 pm

Jim of Seattle wrote:... the chances of my being inspired by a Songfight title is inversely proportional to the amount of time I have to put together a song that week.

Get rid of the ellipsis and rephrase that. "Odds that the chances..." doesn't make any sense.

Post by **Lunkhead** » Tue Nov 16, 2004 7:38 pm

Chance someone on the boards will mispell "definitely": 80%
Chance the misspelling will be "defiantly": 98%

Eric Y. · Post by **Eric Y.** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:46 pm

chances that the word "misspelled", if it is misspelled, was done so purposely for ironic reasons: 48%

Post by **Lunkhead** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 10:18 pm

Dude, that's a typo, I swear!! I know how to spell! I am not a hippocrat!!

JonPorobil · Post by **JonPorobil** » Wed Nov 17, 2004 11:16 pm

"Hippocrat." That's the best typo ever.

c hack · Post by **c hack** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:25 am

Generic wrote:"Hippocrat." That's the best typo ever.

Also the best way to describe a bi-partisan politician. It covers all the bases!

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 11:06 am

Is hippocracy the rule of the government by hippopotami and/or doctors, and a hippocrat one who is a member of a political party which supports such a thing?

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 1:56 pm

Odds are, a discussion will go off topic before it reaches page 2: 100%

Odds are it will get back on track by page 3: 100%

Odds are that at some point near the death of the thread it will have gotten off topic again: 100%

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:13 pm

It's funny you mention that Hoblit, I have noticed this phenomenom myself.... I wonder, has anyone else noticed this?

thehipcola · Post by **thehipcola** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:22 pm

Odd's are that Leaf gets 85% less work done on any given day than prior to joining the SF community.

I just need to know how he does it...I get buried after cruising the boards for half an hour...

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 2:41 pm

...I have a job where talking is the most critical thing I do... like a bureaucrat in training or something... and I'll power out my documents pretty quick...see right now, I'm watching the boards, I'm studying out nor-tel phone manual, and I treated or "intervened" with three injuries today.... (shoulder, wrist, back)... so I also have alot of "waiting for godot" time....

...I also find that adding a title to my stupidly long list seems to free up more time instead of the reverse...
And I live for the philosophy that one should try to get paid more to do less at all times... seems to work. See I wasn't around much yesterday cause I went to a hearing, a hearing where I was gonna kick ass and win, except the "plantiff" (actually appeallant) DIDN'T SHOW. So, I won by default, and spent the hour chatting to a 71 year old professional (The "WCAT Panel") who tried to convince me I should be listening to opera. Interesting guy. Nice day trip to Courtenay too...

I guess the real "secret" is that I like to talk... and you knew that already!!!!

Eric Y. · Post by **Eric Y.** » Thu Nov 18, 2004 3:38 pm

Hoblit wrote:at some point near the death of the thread

nuh uh, threads don't die! they just go off to the nice farm where they can be with all the other old sick threads and the nice farmer can make them well again! MY MOMMY SAID IT DIDN'T DIE ARE YOU CALLING HER A LIAR!!!?

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