The Song Fight Bulletin Board

Semicolons, everyone, semicolons!

Does BLT have one of those smiley things that depicts Albatross being beaten about the head with a large stick?

C-Ray>><<Albz

...actually I chuckled, Albi.

Billy's Little Trip wrote:C-Ray>><<Albz

At least you got the hair right. In both cases.

You need to post a smiley of Caravan Ray having sex with a sheep. Wait, never mind.

C-Ray on Xmas eve gearin' up for his brain child>>

Really small fight ... maybe I'll review this one.

Well it's been a long time coming. I haven't had the pleasure for a while due to work and life circumstances, but this is a cool fight. Nice

Lord of Oats - Churning solo guitars is the only thing dragging me in to listen as I don't really feel that it really brought me to the ampersand highway or stare at comma waves off the semi-colon ridge. I think you need to add some rev on the whole mix, as a send perhaps, to bring things a little more together in the mix.

Four Zombies and a Clown - It feels like someone's smacking my colon and speaking in pitch-shifted periods. Heh. Couldn't resist. A lot of weird clicks and pops at points with digital distortion getting in there. If there's intent, it's ok, and if not, then you should tweak that. It's eerie on the island.

Snuffy Patachenko - Like surfing hard on that comma ocean. The breakdown is an interesting transition. Very reminiscent of the Rheostatics in it's emotional delivery in that breakdown and then back to surfing on commas. "You set the rules.... " transition to the solo is cool. Reminded me of Helios Creed in many ways.

Trip the Stink Fantastic - It's strange how in all these tunes there seems to be kind of this "Big Brother" concept whereby the island is ruled by an almighty force. There is something pure Genius in this as it's kind of a surreal game show and then the chainsaw comes out. "Never say never and forever is a long time." I have no idea what this means but if I think it's trying to say anything, it's that they have some strange television on Punctuation Island. I'd love to see what they look like.

The Weakest Suit - Once again some kind of societal theme, whereby we have to protect the sanctity of the nation. "Big Brother's watching! He's masked as a couple of square brackets. Question mark society huh?

Jim of Seattle - The backups are so perfect in this tune. Like a joyful rhythm taking us all on a trip to Punctuation Island. This song screams to be made into a short film with the character of Jim of Seattle walking while seeing various punctuations passing by. Almost perfect for Sesame Street. And I say this with all respect. My boy would love this. I'll have to check one day this week to see if my theory is right and find him dancing while I play this at full crank. This is the best tune of the fight for me because instead of it being an oppressive society, it's kind of this Utopian place where it's alright to get it wrong. Then at the end, the one disclaimer, you have to watch out for the biting % signs. Damn percents sometimes not working in your favour. Kind of a testament to life or, perhaps, I'm reading too much into this (groan!). A literal title done by a fairly literal guy makes this one of my more favourite songfight songs I've had the pleasure of hearing here. This should win. Excellent work Jim. Vote.

my song is about the proposed marriage ammendment some people want to pass to "define" marriage between one man and one woman.
to some people alternative lifestyles in this country are as out of control as punctuation on the internet.
i find the whole thing quite rediculous, so i thought i'd draw the parallel and write a song about people who what to pass an ammendment to "define" punctuation and how rediculous that would sound.
i posted the lyrics in the lyrics section to help people to know what i'm trying to say with this one.

TONE!!!

tonetripper wrote:
Jim of Seattle - The backups are so perfect in this tune. Like a joyful rhythm taking us all on a trip to Punctuation Island. This song screams to be made into a short film with the character of Jim of Seattle walking while seeing various punctuations passing by. Almost perfect for Sesame Street. And I say this with all respect. My boy would love this. I'll have to check one day this week to see if my theory is right and find him dancing while I play this at full crank. This is the best tune of the fight for me because instead of it being an oppressive society, it's kind of this Utopian place where it's alright to get it wrong. Then at the end, the one disclaimer, you have to watch out for the biting % signs. Damn percents sometimes not working in your favour. Kind of a testament to life or, perhaps, I'm reading too much into this (groan!). A literal title done by a fairly literal guy makes this one of my more favourite songfight songs I've had the pleasure of hearing here. This should win. Excellent work Jim. Vote.

Holy crap, Tone, it's good to be back. Thanks!

Heh, it's nice to be back in the ring.

Jim, your song kicks ass. I love the melody. Very well written, and very catchy. Don't listen to those silly people that say it's a children's song; it goes on my mp3 player.
Vote

JIM OF SEATTLE:

Backing voices are glorious. Chord pattern seems like it
moves back and forth between minor-feel and major-feel that
kinda lost me on first listen. Maybe it will grow on me.
Some very clever lyrics, which I expect from you. Good to
have you back. At the start, it sort of seems like PI is
a place of exile and punishment for the illiterate, but by
the end this has evolved to a paradise for those who don't
sweat the grammatical details. If you'd been able to squeeze
that line about "there ain't no apostrophe police" line in
earlier, it would have been a good mood-setter. Keeper.

SNUFFY PATACHENKO:

Like the way it breaks down in the middle and then builds
back up. Had a bit of trouble following the lyric just
listening to it, and I'm a lyrics person. Guitars sound
good, well played; a couple of the backing vocals seemed like
they got away from you at times.

TRIP THE STINK FANTASTIC:

Nice jungle feel on the intro. Octave-down'd vocals are a
bit hard to understand, which seems like it gets in the way of
the humor.

LORD OF OATS:

Guitar chops on the intro, I really wanted them to be more
steadily on the beat... lead guitar around 2:05, same thing.
Seems like you play out your whole joke in the first verse.
Melody and chord pattern on the verses, vary it up more, it
feels like the same phrase over and over. Like the instrumental
breakdown about 3:15.

THE WEAKEST SUIT:

I like the instrumentation on the verses, bass + vocal + guitar
single line. When the whole band comes in, second time especially,
around 1:50, I think it should have been more abrupt, maybe even
pick up the tempo at that point.

FOUR ZOMBIES AND A CLOWN:

Again, octave'd down vocals are very hard to follow, if you were
setting up a joke in that opening bit, I missed it entirely. I
was waiting for it to go somewhere else musically, disappointed
that it didn't.

A general comment on most of the entries this week, it seemed like
there was a lot of AABB rhyme scheme (a line, a line that rhymes
with it; a line, a line that rhymes with it, etc.), and while that
is generally a good approach for a song that's aiming to be funny,
that second line of each couplet needs to surprise us, make us
smile, in addition to just rhyming. Most of what I heard seemed
very predictable in that regard; once I heard the first line of the
couplet, I wasn't surprised at what the second line was.

Charles (KA)

SmallFight!

Lord of Oats – I like the retro feel of this. Instrumentally, this sounds like a song that would be in guitar hero. The lyrical concept never really goes anywhere though. The first verse sets up the story, but the second verse is still all set up. Where is the pay off? Instead we get a guitar solo. Personally, guitar solos have never done anything for me. They usually just come off as musical masturbation.

Jim of Seattle – The background vocals are great here. I find the song boring though. It seems like you found a list of punctuation on the internet and just wrote a line about each thing on the list. Some of it is clever, but the gimmick wore thin for me by the second verse. Maybe the hook is not connecting with me and that line where you cram a bunch of extra words in, I find myself cringing.

Snuffy Patache – This is a rocking little number. Super catchy chorus, and Dead Kennedy sounding guitar riff add to the fun, and despite what I said above about solos, when they are as well placed as the one is here at the end, there is not much to complain about. The note at 2:35 is perfect.

Trip the Stink – I enjoyed this quite a bit, but I couldn’t understand about 80% of the moderators lines. What video game are those sounds from? They sound so familiar.

Four Zombies – This sounds like the same person/people as Snuffy and Trip. I can not understand one thing that is being said here. Is the point to not be able to understand it?

The Weakest Suit – This one is mine. I initially had a larger mix with acoustic guitar throughout and drums, but I mixed them out at the last minute to give the song a “different” sound. The silence between the verses and choruses was not initially planned. But, I’m much happier with this than I thought I would be. I only spent one afternoon/evening on it and I think it came out pretty good considering I put off writing and recording it until the night before the deadline. I’m hoping to be able to spend more time crafting songs in the future with Super Fight.

I usually don’t like my song the best, but in this case I do. But as for a vote, I’ll be going with Snuffy.

king_arthur wrote: TRIP THE STINK FANTASTIC:

Nice jungle feel on the intro. Octave-down'd vocals are a
bit hard to understand, which seems like it gets in the way of
the humor.

Yes, my speaking voice is deep and hard to understand at times. I've been told that I should try and pitch shift it up. Thanks for the comments, from one King to Another.

The Weakest Suit wrote:
Trip the Stink – I enjoyed this quite a bit, but I couldn’t understand about 80% of the moderators lines. What video game are those sounds from? They sound so familiar.

Although I made the music, I acquired the sound FX from THE Google. Thanks for enjoying it.

Xerxes wrote:Yes, my speaking voice is deep and hard to understand at times

Perhaps it's from a really big set of 'nads?

Paco Del Stinko wrote:

Xerxes wrote:Yes, my speaking voice is deep and hard to understand at times

Perhaps it's from a really big set of 'nads?

Yes, they do get in the way when I'm scissoring.

king_arthur wrote:FOUR ZOMBIES AND A CLOWN:

Again, octave'd down vocals are very hard to follow, if you were
setting up a joke in that opening bit, I missed it entirely. I
was waiting for it to go somewhere else musically, disappointed
that it didn't.

It was originally a rap, but I decided that not only am I a horrid rapper, but the lyrics were mediocre, so I slowed it down quite a bit. Could you elaborate on the latter point?

I guess I was hoping it (4Z+AC) was going to break into a faster tempo, some different chords, something else musically. Maybe the voice would move up to regular timbre. The synth stuff does rise and fall dynamically a bit, but overall, the song doesn't go anywhere, and with those low-low vocals, I just wasn't wild about where it sits for the whole song. I guess I was hoping that the opening was the mood setting thing and then you'd switch into more of what I consider a "song."

Charles (KA)

I know who I'm voting for...even though the bastard beat us in the "Welcome to ______" fight It was a solid win...

Nice, nice, nice

king_arthur wrote:Chord pattern seems like it
moves back and forth between minor-feel and major-feel that
kinda lost me on first listen. Maybe it will grow on me.
Some very clever lyrics, which I expect from you. Good to
have you back. At the start, it sort of seems like PI is
a place of exile and punishment for the illiterate, but by
the end this has evolved to a paradise for those who don't
sweat the grammatical details. If you'd been able to squeeze
that line about "there ain't no apostrophe police" line in
earlier, it would have been a good mood-setter.

Thanks Charles. Genuinely helpful review. The change from punishment to paradise was a forehead slapper for me. I didn't notice that I changed midstream till you pointed it out. I'm usually better about that kind of thing. Someone else pointed out that I went from addressing another person to speaking about myself by the end. Truth is, I didn't put enough effort into context etc. in the lyrics.

But I LOVED the major-minor thing. The song is in B flat. What I did (very intentionally) was use a D natural in the bass line to make it major, but then use a D flat in the chorus for a minor sound. I really adore that ambiguous rub. Kudos for picking up on it. Now that you know it was very much on purpose maybe you can get into it a little. If you play that bass line on the piano and then play a Bb min 7 chord above it, it sounds like SweetTarts. Yum.

Damn. The giant Octothorpe. That's a scary thought. Brilliant, Jim!