By Johnny Cashpoint (uses a drum sample from IDLES' 'Gift Horse') See Santa sweating profusely cant get up and down the chimney Joy-boy's got Xmas problems a plenty; Carrying presents - the ignominy! It's a climate emergency Declare Xmas done urgently It's a no snow sleet or hail fail - Endless tro...

by Johnny Cashpoint Uses a drum sample from Yard Act's 'Petroleum' In these awful times Everything is fine If you close your mind To the shit you find On your doorstep, there's An angry grizzly bear Who'll fix you with death stare Walk on by, don't be scared. Stroll on down the street Be sure that y...

Johnny Cashpoint: hey, it's got the kazoos! sounds like they're through a sampler or something which is a really good touch Johnny Cashpoint: I think your kazoos sound like a vocal through an emulator but is that even possible? If they are, and that's what you had available, then you should get pro...

Well, I think you have the new set of avatars for the next round of judging

I have to say I wouldn't really mind if I looked anything like that! (though I was hoping there might be a rasta hat or somesuch ). I am also down with the description.

J$

Johnny Cashpoint: hey, it's got the kazoos! sounds like they're through a sampler or something which is a really good touch Johnny Cashpoint: I think your kazoos sound like a vocal through an emulator but is that even possible? If they are, and that's what you had available, then you should get pro...

by Johnny Cashpoint (features a drum sample from Amyl & The Sniffers' 'Doing My Head in') I should not be left to my own devices My life is a mess, there's no surprises (crisis!) All i have got left are dirty vices I am having an identity crisis(crisis!) Marie Antoinette would lose her head for ...

by Johnny Cashpoint Your poverty is just a rash Buy some cream, gone in a flash. The only benefit to cash Is wanton greed, give it a smash! What is poverty? you forget. Stub your toe, just buy new leg! You are like Cher, no real flesh left; A plastic person, no regrets I won't outlive the idle rich;...

W.A.I.L. I.A.A.C. I must admit, I only came here to listen to Blind Mime Ensemble so the rest of my reviews should probably be ignored as the other side of favouritism, but damn me if this wasn't a very good little fight. So, there you go ... Blind Mime - not much to say except this is bloody great....

W.A.I.L. I.A.A.C. I loved this title. Wanted to enter a song, got it half finished; but it fell apart in a lack of confidence moment. So I thought I would at least review. Sorry. ignore me, probably. Magnetic Letters - Jolly. Ear-worm-y, but also slightly annoying in the way 'Come Dancing' by The Ki...

Nice to see we've evolved from friend-flooding to artist-flooding these days Here's hoping LEF hears the call!

j$

By Johnny Cashpoint & Andy Balham Music by j$ & Andy Balham. Words by j$ j$ - Vocals, guitar, synth, bass during bridge Andy Balham - bass, drum programming, guitar during bridge You and I have to leave this city 'Cos it does not generate pity You say, hey, let's go outside, I Dont care wher...

by Johnny Cashpoint Christmas time on crack Heroin and smack Christmas lights too bright Let them fade to black Christmas time on speed Opiates and weed Present that I want Just a nosebag feed Simply having a crack attack xmas time When the drugs kick in I dont remember If this is christmas April or...

by Johnny Cashpoint "Put away your childish things If you want to grow"; But grown-up is all moaning crap So I wont let you go "Put away your childish things Says the average Schmoe"; but He's a schill for grown up ills so What does that schmoe know? Want me to give up the fun o...

I'm in with a song to 'celebrate' 20 years of Songfighting. I have been in every fight this year, in a build up to my anniversary. Go, me!

j$

I was going to write a sequel to my "Across the Dusty Plains" but then I realised that it made no internal sense, so changed it at the last minute and do I am in with some vauely dark, Halloween-y stuff instead, referencing Nightmare on Elm Street (part 3 I think from memory) but it's not ...

by Johnny Cashpoint Dusty dreams of terrible things Sharpened blades and girlfriend screams Falling apart at the seams In his dreams, in his dark dreams. Dusty dreams x 2 Dusty dreams the cruellest scenes Blood is spilt and demons win Awake he cannot be redeemed So he sleeps and so he dreams so he d...

by Space Pub Oh Yes it's true I just canoed Down the Danube Totally nude Just for you Just for you I could do this all day, it's child's play Nothing's going to get in my way What can I do to get through to you? I did something rude With a rubic's cube And vasoline lube In the gardens at Kew Just fo...

by Johnny Cashpoint We all have these grand ideas You wont find down your IKEA Or in the Freeman's catalogue Not your problem, its their loss But it's like a different language When you asking for a Sandwich Did you want a BLT Or an end to tyranny? Your ideas are very queer Not thought through is al...

By Johnny Cashpoint (Features samples taken from Cactus Malpractice's youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqdnPjlTIxCQS4dRgQPwN0-Sl8yn4txal) My guy is a complicated man He has joined an e-bike gang Stealing phones out of the hands Of tourists is their masterplan Cops are putting...

This is the DUMBEST title (to me) and I LOVE it! In! Tho' I strangely feel the urge to apologise in advance.

j$

If you're talking to me, I am perfectly calm, thanks! j$