Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by mo »

Oh I lied, I don't have an advanced degree in linguistics
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by mo »

Congratulations to those of you who moved on to Round 1, and thank you to everyone who submitted. This was a crazy round with all of the submissions, and as some of you may notice, there was a rich diversity of opinions from the judges. We had a lot of tough decisions to make in this historically large first elimination. Other judges besides Vom, who's clearly mad for having posted reviews when he did, may or may not post reviews as their schedules allow. I will try to finish writing mine up by tomorrow evening, so you can all yell at me instead of him. I'll just be in back putting in my stigmata hahahaha

A special shout-out to Glow Worm, a very worthy Round Zero winner, with rain right on their heels!
Last edited by mo on Tue May 12, 2020 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by grumpymike »

Fisher + Diaz wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 2:09 pm
I feel like I've talked way too much in this thread already.
I hope you continue making songs. I like them and I always think it's a sham when you get cut so early, because your music brings so much fun and diversity to the contest.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by ujnhunter »

Congrats all. Cool video Max Bombast! What is that strange code editor that appears to be counting syllables (even though I don't know anyone that pronounces vi-o-lets with 3 syllables) that you are using to write your lyrics with?

Edit: I guess you do pronounce it with 3 syllables, but it's like what... a 32nd note? 64th note?
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Lucky Spoon »

ujnhunter wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:38 pm
What is that strange code editor that you are using to write your lyrics with?
Yes, I want to know this too. I searched and found Lyric Notepad but that's only for mobile.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by glowworm »

Hi all, it's glow worm!! Sorry you haven't heard from us yet on the threads - first time here and still figuring everything out and finding forums and whatnot.

glow worm is me (Connor) and my younger sister Deirdre quarantining in our parents home in St. Louis. My lifelong dream has been to start a duo with her so thank you Nur Ein for giving us the excuse to do it.

It's been a tough couple of weeks, so I just can't tell you how much your positive feedback on our song means. I like actually cried reading it.

I'm listening through the other songs now and I'm blown away. You guys rock and I can't wait to keep making music alongside you <3
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by furrypedro »

glowworm wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:48 pm
Hi all, it's glow worm!! Sorry you haven't heard from us yet on the threads - first time here and still figuring everything out and finding forums and whatnot.

glow worm is me (Connor) and my younger sister Deirdre quarantining in our parents home in St. Louis. My lifelong dream has been to start a duo with her so thank you Nur Ein for giving us the excuse to do it.

It's been a tough couple of weeks, so I just can't tell you how much your positive feedback on our song means. I like actually cried reading it.

I'm listening through the other songs now and I'm blown away. You guys rock and I can't wait to keep making music alongside you <3
Welcome! Congratulations on your first win, and thanks for joining the competition. Looking forward to more tunes from you pair


That round was crazy and I am incredibly relieved to have made the cut this time. Commiserations to those who didn't make it, though I'm excited at the prospect of someone being voted back in later. Cool new rule!
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by GlennCase »

Round zero - Reviews

Glow Worm
This is seriously nice, and thoroughly enjoyable. One of the most professional sounding songs in the bunch. Especially excellent vocal delivery, and intonation. Everything is here: Superb use of dynamics, exciting changes, great melody, catchy chorus hook, good visual lyrics, and everything sounds like it fits. I have nothing noteworthy to critique. Well done!

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 10 out of 10


rain
Lyric challenge is met in the chorus. The lyrics are quite good, and I like the chord progression a lot. Your vocals sound great, and they blend well. Good instrument choices, and everything sounds like it fits. Mix sounds fabulous. Yeah, this is a great song. Excellent job!

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 10 out of 10


Lucky Spoon
My one issue involves whether or not you have met the challenge of "Lyrics must include a contradiction". Yes, you explained this, and it technically qualifies but the fact that one has to know the backstory to understand how you met the challenge makes it a bit of a stretch. I've deducted a point from the Concept/Challenge category. Having typed that - This is a very good song. Great lyrics, and amazing concept. It would be a pretty song without knowing the backstory, but knowing what you were going for makes it a stronger composition, and you are likely to get tears from listeners when/if they know what you're up to. I came close to wet eyes myself. Magnificent vocal delivery throughout the song. Your voice cracks in spots, but in precisely the right way. This is incredibly solid. Well done!

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 9 out of 10


Grumpy Mike
Lyrics satisfy the challenge several times over, and there are several great mental images in the words. Structure of the song is satisfactory, and helped by good use of dynamics. Some fun things happening in there. Harmony vocals are quite good. Mix is good. Everything sounds like it belongs in the song. Good job!

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 9 out of 10


Moss Palace
Vocals sound great, of course. It doesn't hurt when you're one of the greatest vocalists to ever grace Songfight. You're another one of the legends from around here so (much like Frankie, and Max) - I will likely hold you to a higher standard. On that note: I am struggling to see where you incorporated the challenge in the lyrics. Possibly the first lines of the song? The fact that it isn't a bit more clear is why I am deducting a point in the CONCEPT/CHALLENGE category. Still, it's a good one. Great mix, and especially good dynamics.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 8 out of 10


Frankie Big Face
Admittedly, I am excited to see you in this competition, but I am also likely to hold you to a particularly high standard because I know what you are capable of - You have written some of the greatest songs in the history of this community. Having typed that - This comes across as middle-tier Frankie for me. I don't hate it, but this isn't going to make the Greatest Hits list. Excellent imagery in the lyrics, naturally. Fantastic chord strucutre. Vocal is absolutely brilliant in spots ("This is Fine" at :46 is masterful, as is your falsetto note that you nailed at 2:42) but a bit off-key in enough spots that I noticed (Sharp note with "parade" at :37 and sharp note during "for now" at 1:06 are the most noticeable examples). Everything in the mix sounds good and level, and you are emoting very well. The thing is - your decent material will tend to be a contender with some of the best that others have to offer. When you're on your A-game you are absolutely unstoppable.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 8 out of 10


Max Bombast
Another returning force to be reckoned with. Nice to see you back! I mentioned it in Frankie's review, and I'll mention it here - I will likely hold you to a higher standard because I know what you are capable of. You're an invincible beast of a competitor when you're on your A-game. I like what you did with the concept. It's a good take on the title. Still, I am struggling to see where you met the challenge in these lyrics. Not going to disqualify you for that, but I'm subtracting a point from the CONCEPT/CHALLENGE category based primarily on that. Solid vocals as usual, and there is no one I know of who mixes songs better.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 point
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 8 out of 10


Starfinger
Starfinger brings the fun! "god made us in his image/open the salon!" got a chuckle out of me. Good production choices. Your vocal delivery definitely goes off-key here and there, but it works within the arrangement. The double tracked vocals also don't always line up, which can make certain phrases hard to understand. Still, it's an enjoyable Starfinger romp, and it is nice to see you here!

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 8 out of 10


Third Cat
I was ready to not like this in the first few seconds, and you won me over by the 17 second mark when that harmony vocal kicks in. Vocals sound quite good. The sparse arrangement works well, making room for extra layers to come in like the bass at 1:01. I like the change at 1:39, too. The lyrics work well enough, 'though no single line comes across as especially memorable. Still, this is enjoyable.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 8 out of 10


Cavedwellers
Lyrics do the job, and fit the concept of the song well enough. Nothing stands out as particularly clever, but nothing awful here either. Verse structure is decent, but the chorus has a great hook helped out by good harmonies. The bass sounds especially nice. No noticeable rhythm issues. Vocals threaten to go off-key (usually sharp) in spots, particularly in the falsetto parts, but this is an enjoyable song. Excellent solo. Challenge is met with the lyrics in the chorus. Drums seem like they might be a bit buried, but nothing in the mix is jumping out at me in a bad way. I like this one.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 8 out of 10


Inflatable Vegetables
Why does this feel like it shouldn't work, and yet it does? I like the harmonies quite a bit (until they're fairly out of key starting at 1:34). Lead vocal is sharp in spots, but not too bad. "Out of toilet paper, out of rice" speaks to our times. I like the chorus hook quite a bit. The end is abrupt, and comes across as "ANNNNND I'm out of ideas..." Snare sounds buried in the mix, and the overall sound seems a bit muffled. Still, you have put together a pretty solid one here. Good job!

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 8 out of 10

Jules Lolyn
So, that guitar (and the overall recording) sounds a little lo-fi and I am not sure what I was expecting from the vocal, but I can safely say I wasn't expecting what I heard. Nice, strong, confident, clear vocal delivery. Sounds like there are some stray, accidental bass notes on the guitar, but I didn't notice that until repeat listens. There are some great lines in here, and "Nothing to lose, just my mind" stands out among my favorites. Structure of the song is adequate, and nice enough. Voice + guitar = There's not much to have to worry about as far as levels, so the mix is okay even with the lo-fi guitar. I like this overall.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Ken Mahru
You're the master of the simple, yet meaningful sentiment. The lyrics seem heartfelt, and you convey that. The chord structure compliments the words. As far as vocals go, it sounds like you're straining on some of the high notes, and a few of them are flat as a result. A handful of sharp notes throughout the song as well. Snare sounds a bit buried in the mix. I like this one, overall.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


The Lowest Bitter
Well, you mentioned the meme, but you did so in a fantastic way. So, kudos for "the meme is tired, and so am I". I initially thought the lead vocal was flat more often than it was on-pitch, but that's not quite accurate. Vocal is perfectly fine in spots, but it really is flat fairly often, especially with the "I'm not okay" backing vocals. You have potential to make some great songs, but I would ask that you spend a bit more time on your vocals if possible.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Rob From Amersfoort
The lyrics meet the challenge several times over. Well done. For what it is worth - This chorus hook has probably been getting stuck in my head more than anyone else's. I am hearing artifacts in the vocals that are a bit harsh on the ear, and it comes very close to bringing the MIX score to a [BAD] mark, but the rest of the overall mix isn't too bad so I am going to lean towards an [OKAY] here. I'm very interested to hear what you will do in later rounds if you make it to round one!

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10

Nuke Skyblaster Reporting For Duty!!!
CARAVAN RAY! OI! OI! OI! Lyrics meet the challenge a few times, and I like the song structure quite a bit. Vocal is flat in spots, but works well enough for the style. Playing is a bit loose, but again - suitable for the genre. Mix is a little all over the place. Snare is nice and present in spots, but disappears in others. Vocals are super quiet in places, and way too loud in others.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Berkeley Social Scene
None of the individual lyrics are standing out as amazing, but nothing is standing out as amazingly awful either. In short: The words are acceptable. I like the subtle, but welcome change in the drum patterns from verses to chorus. Chorus has a good hook. The break section after the second chorus is quite nice. Tasty guitar solo. Song does not hold up well to repeat listens, especially when compared to some of the surprisingly stiff competition for a round zero. Vocals are flat throughout most of the song, but especially in the verses. Instruments sound great. The performance is teetering between okay, and good for me based mostly on that vocal performance, but I am going to go with good this time because the vocals do seem to improve after the second chorus. In my experience: Lead vocals tend to be an Achilles heel in BSS songs. If you can take a bit more time to make the vocals a bit more in pitch - please do so for later rounds. The challenge has been met with the lyrics in the chorus. Concept is fine, but not particularly inspiring either. Mix sounds pretty good, as is often the case with BSS, but that also means I am more likely to hold you to a higher standard in that department as a result. The vocal harmonies towards the end of the song was a good decision. Good to have the drums drop out in key moments like you did, too.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 7 out of 10


The Serviettes
Lyrics deliver on the challenge. This entire song sounded like it was going to build up to something, but it never really does. I keep expecting a kick-in that never happens. Vocals are definitely sharp in spots, but nothing aggressively bad. Vocal timbre, and overall sound is pleasant, but it feels like it could have been more. A push of some sort starting at the second chorus is an example of something that could have added a bit more variety. Not bad as it sits, 'though.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


DJ Ranger Den
The lyrics are decent enough, but nothing is sticking with me even with repeat listens. I particularly like the melody, and the chord structure. Your vocal sounds good through most of the song, but the vocal note at :36 made me wince every time. Same note at 1:39 is still a bit off, but not nearly as noticeable. Good emotion in the delivery, 'though, so bonus points for your use of dynamics. One nice part about piano and vocal is there isn't a whole lot you need to worry about competing in the mix.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [GOOD] 2 points
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Balance Lost
I like some of what is happening with the lyrics, but I actively dislike the second verse. I tend to not be a fan of self-referential lyrics unless there is something especially clever about how it is being used for the narrative. That isn't happening here. (I do get it. I have done similar things in some of my songs, and I tend to regret the decision later.) Thankfully, there are enough good visual lyrics in the rest of the song to cancel that second verse out. I like the chorus hook quite a bit, especially paired with what you did in the verses. I like the structure of this song quite a bit. Vocals are slightly off throughout the song, but especially in the chorus. Still, I appreciate the attempted falsetto. I wouldn't say the performance is offensive, but it's shy of spectacular. "There's not enough space in my empty head" rises to the challenge quite nicely. Additionally, I would say that there is a vibe of uncertainty in the performance that fits nicely with the theme here. Sounds like there is an audible hum throughout the song. So, that's not good. Still, there isn't anything about the mix that is out of place enough to force me to reach for the volume knob. No real change in dynamics for bonus points, but I am not hating this.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


8th Grade Team
Even with repeat listens nothing is jumping out at me in a good, or a bad way with the words. The lyrics don't seem to be available on the message boards, so unfortunately I can't read over the lyrics to see if I am missing any gems. As it sits, I'd say the lyrics are okay. Some nice, unexpected moments in the melody, and it's catchy. I like the chorus, too. Yeah, this has a good stucture. Good vocal delivery, and the programming patches work well enough. "No means yes - Stop means go - Isn't this confusing" does manage to meet the challenge, and from what I can tell there are other instances where the challenge is being met. Still, I'm not exactly excited about what I'm hearing as far as the concept, and challenge. Meets exceptations, but doesn't exceed them. The dynamics are doing some fun things with the soft vocal delivery, and the way the music kicks in at times. Vocals do seem like they might be a touch too loud in the later chorus parts. There's no real change in the intensity of the vocals, but that seems like an intentional choice here. Still, there are enough good things happening here that I would say it is closer to good than not.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 points
SCORE: 7 out of 10

Nick Soma
Lyrics meet the challenge, and there are good lines here and there. I like the overall song structure quite a bit. There are a couple of awkward moments like the way the words stumble around the 2:00 mark, but that's not enough for me to dock the song. Vocals are flat occasionally. That cymbal is louder than anything else in the song. Snare seems a bit buried as well.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Jon Eric
Strong lyrical moments here and there (including "The china in the cabinets rattled when you slammed the door this is fine"). I like the chord changes, and the overall feel of this. I like the lead guitar choices. Not a fan of the whistling solo. The timbre of your voice has this habit of making you sound off-key even when you are not. I had to sing along in spots to try to determine if you were flat or sharp. It turned out you're flat more often than sharp, but to your credit I couldn't tell right away. The "clocking" in "cry before clocking" comes across as awkward. Mix is sufficient enough, 'though the drums sound a bit muffled and buried.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Micah Sommersmith
Lyrics rise to meet the challenge several times over, and there are some particularly good lines. Chorus hook is pretty good. Vocal is off-key in spots, but not often enough to ruin things. Not a fan of the chosen change in vocal timbre in the break after the 2nd chorus. Snare seems like it could come in the mix a bit, and the vocal might be a bit loud.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Brown Word and the Big Whine
The second song I have heard thus far with a political focus, which makes absolute sense under the circumstances. Still, there are some decent zingers in here. I am especially a fan of "Now nobody alive can reverse the cray-cray/What the hell would Teddy Roosevelt say?" That shift after the 2nd chorus is glorious. It's a good sign when you are making me smile on my first listen. Sadly, the chorus isn't standing up particularly well with repeat listens, and that part of the song gets a bit boring. Oh, man. I really like that spoken part 'though. Yeah, this is fun overall. The vocals seem like they're on the cusp of going flat a lot, but it works well enough. No noticeable rhythm or pitch issues with the instruments. The closest examples I can find of the challenge being met is "Escalator to nowhere in a half-baked hell", and perhaps "You're a supersized fraud, better than the real thing/Twice the carbohydrates but only half as filling". The concept itself isn't where this song shines, which is okay because there are plenty of other areas where things work well. Vocals seem like they might be slightly buried in the mix, which is unfortunate. The kick and snare also sound a bit buried.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 points
PERFORMANCE: [GOOD] 2 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 7 out of 10


Goodbye Bandita
I like the call and response vocals quite a bit. No particular lyrics jumping out in a good or a bad way. Chorus hook is great. Lead vocal is sharp fairly often throughout the song, and the guitar sounds like it isn't quite in key. Not loving the keyboard solo. Where this song suffers the most is the mix. There are harsh and unpleasant frequencies that are the most noticeable in the vocals, and the percussion.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [BAD] 0 points
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Temnere
I initially typed out "Wish.com version of the Offspring" which comes across as a bit harsh, and it's probably not entirely deserved. Apologies for that much. Still, it was a sufficient note for me to remember which song this was out of the 41 we had to try to keep track of. To your credit I could honestly imagine the Offspring covering this, and it would fit in a reboot of Crazy Taxi. So, with that ridiculously long, and unnecessary digression out of the way - Let's address your mix. The performance itself sounds fine, but there is something about the way this has been mixed that makes it sound kinda lifeless. For one - The snare sounds seriously buried throughout most of the song. The vocals are threatening to go off-key in spots, but it's not too bad. The harmonies are pretty good. I do like the overall structure of this quite a bit.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Helen Robertson
None of the lyrics are capturing my attention or imagination, but I also don't hear any wince-inducing phrases. I do like the break section after the second chorus, particularly the melody 'though it does sound like you may be struggling a bit with the high notes in that section especially. Song does seem to end abruptly, which is a bit jarring even on repeat listens. Vocals are particularly strong in the verses. Vocals seem like they're a little loud in the mix during the chorus. The mix itself sounds a little dull, muffled, and lifeless.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


see-man-ski
I like the opening groove quite a bit, but can't say I am enjoying the vocal delivery. The chorus hook is acceptable, but not as memorable as several of the other songs it is competing against. This song continues a trend I have been hearing in several other songs: The snare drum being fairly buried in the mix. The song also ends fairly abruptly, which makes it sound like you just ran out of ideas and said "Let's stop here." I do like the break section after the second chorus, and the overall structure.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


The Kraken Lives
This is particulary jarring if and when you listen to the entries alphabetically (as it is directly after Ken Mahru). Thank you for posting lyrics. I didn't have a prayer of understanding a word of the verses otherwise. That would have been unfortunate because there is some humor in the lyrics. The chorus is unexpected, which seems like the intention. This reminds me of a group from thesixtyone (RIP) called Digital Death that had songs like "Pencil Eye", "Yarn and Chocolate", and "Fuzzy Bunny Slippers". Intense sounding songs about mostly mundane things. I don't hate this, but it definitely comes off as novelty. Curious to see if you make it to round one with this project.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Hot Pink Halo
The first thing I am noticing about this song is all the gasps for breath within the vocals. They're everywhere. I suggest trying to be mindful about your breathing within songs wherever possible. Breaths need to be taken, but they can be strategically done, and almost silently when you're aware of it. Some good moments in the lyrics ("This is romance in mathematics/
This is art finding ways to help us see"). I like the timbre of the vocals, but they tend to be sharp in various points throughout the song. I'm also hearing rhythm issues here and there. There is potential, but definitely some things that need work.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Cloverdance
Lyrics do a decent job of capturing what lockdown has been like, and they serve the song well enough. The structure is simple, and is fitting for the concept, but a bit boring with repeat listens. The little leads are a nice touch, however. Sensing a Neil Young influence here, which isn't a bad thing. Pitch issues with the vocal (mostly flat notes) more or less throughout the song. The rhythm of the guitar feels a little inconsistent, like it could fly away to a faster BPM at any given moment, and the leads don't sound like they are always syncing up like they should. Lyrics in the chorus seem to meet the challenge, and it was a good subject to write about. Mix is sufficient. Nothing off-putting is jumping out.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


TerriEllen
The vocals are flat in multiple spots throughout the song, and sharp in others which becomes especially noticeable in sparse arrangements like this one. I like the structure, and the intended melody well enough, but the performance is lacking. You can also hear what sounds like unintentional bass notes on the guitar in spots (1:40, and 1:53 for example.) The audio quality sounds fairly compressed, and lo-fi.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Evan Alexander Moore
A few especially good lines in the lyrics, and some decent mental images. The structure is adequate for the genre, but the 2 chord vamp verses get a bit boring with repeat listens. Minor vocal pitch issues here and there, but not awful and it seems more like a choice than not. The lead instrument does add a nice touch, 'though. At 1:25 ("round and round" and "radio sings") it sounds like you had to take a couple of quick gasps for breath, which is understandable considering the amount of lyrics here, but it took me out of the song. I think it stands out because of the sparse arrangement. The mix is sufficient until the noise percussion at 2:39, which seems like it could come down just a bit. This didn't hold up well with repeat listens. I found I kept wanting to skip it.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Pigfarmer Jr.
The lyric challenge was met within the first couple of lines of the song, which is good. I like the returning guitar line, until the key keeps increasing near the end. It starts to wear out its welcome by that point. The chorus has a great hook! Vocals leaning towards fairly sharp throughout the song. The intended dynamics are pretty good, but the drums in particular sound a bit muffled.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Boffo Yux Dudes

Well, I don't hate it. Going political makes sense given the title and the times that we're living in. Problem is - I can't point at any one particular lyric as an example of a great line. "The rotund lady sings" is probably the closest instance of a familiar line being slightly altered to almost being clever. The words serve the purpose well enough, but they're just... kinda there. The syllables throughout most of the song are very precise, although there are a couple of instances where words feel either shoehorned in, or stretched. Still, the chorus is pretty good. This leans more towards a good stucture than not. Vocals aren't exactly on pitch, but not offensively off-key for the style. No noticeable pitch or rhythm issues with the music. "The only way to play defense is stay on the attack" qualifies for meeting the challenge. The concept is understandable enough, but not exactly inspiring as it sits. I'm not loving the lead synth sound. Vocals seem like they might be a bit loud in the mix, and for most of the song I wasn't sure there even was a snare sound in there because it's fairly buried. The "static" percussion borders on grating, but nothing in the mix is terrible to the point of making me wince. So, that much helps!

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [GOOD] 2 points
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Geech Sorensen
Lyrics are okay, and they meet the criteria of the challenge. Structure isn't bad, but not particularly memorable. Lead vocal is pretty good throughout, but then those high harmonies come in and they are SHARP most of the time to the point of being wince-inducing, and it is distracting to the point of almost single-handedly sinking the song. I usually wouldn't suggest that a song would sound better without harmonies, but this is an instance where it would be better to leave them out, or fix the pitch issues. The levels in the mix are decent.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 5 out of 10


Mandibles
The repeated "this is fine" is grating to my ear like an alarm clock, which might be the intention. The rhythm sounds glued together in spots, and threatens to go off the rails at any moment. It sounds like there was thought behind the arrangement, but it comes across as fairly boring, and I can't quite put my finger on why, but I think the mix is at least partially to blame. Examples: Nice guitar solo, but the rest of the song practically disappears in the mix as it is happening, and the hi-hat sound (which is like fingernails-on-chalkboard) drowns out most of the other sounds in the verses. To your credit, that break after the second chorus is pretty cool, but not enough to save this one for me. I don't like this one at all.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 5 out of 10


Fisher and Diaz
Plenty of good moments in the lyrics, which is nice. The introduction was interesting, but it falls apart fairly rapidly. Were the instrument patches picked at random? Everything sounds disjointed as if it just kinda happened, rather than being planned out in any way. Vocals in the chorus are off-key... The mix is aggressively bad to the point of making me angry. I like the concept way better than the song itself

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [BAD] 0 points
SCORE: 5 out of 10

Lichen Throat
Lyrics are your strong suit, and there are some interesting things happening here, but man do some of these words seem shoe-horned in when it comes to the rhythmic placement. In short: Good lyrics, not so great use of syllables. Ideally, the pieces of a song fit together to serve the song. This comes across as a poem that didn't quite fit into a song, so openings were found, and words were just shoved in there. Rhythm throughout seems almost like an afterthought. Vocals are aggressively flat. The mix itself isn't bad overall. I attempted to give this song a chance several times, but I actively dislike this and I started to skip it whenever possible.

LYRICS: [GOOD] 2 points
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [BAD] 0 points
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [OKAY] 1 point
DYNAMICS/MIX: [OKAY] 1 point
SCORE: 6 out of 10


Jon Berger
The lyrics come across like they were an assignment. Sure, one could argue that they were, but it shouldn't sound like it. Nice guitar tone, and I had high hopes when I heard it, but then the vocals kicked in... and I am not liking the vocal delivery at all. I like the concept well enough, but the execution is clumsy. Drums are buried in the mix, the vocals sound way too loud, and as much as the lead guitar being super loud at 1:59 sounds like a choice for a punchline? It's jarring in a bad way.

LYRICS: [OKAY] 1 point
STRUCTURE: [OKAY] 1 point
PERFORMANCE: [OKAY] 1 point
CONCEPT/CHALLENGE: [GOOD] 2 points
DYNAMICS/MIX: [BAD] 0 points
SCORE: 5 out of 10
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Generic »

Hey, Judge #1...

Thanks!

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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Adam! »

ujnhunter wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:38 pm
What is that strange code editor that appears to be counting syllables
That is the wonderful, incomparable, irreplaceable Storm editor, created and maintained by SongFight alum Plat. It features the best rhyming dictionary in existance, and I find it especially good for rapidly prototyping lyrics and ideas. Plus it automatically color codes your rhyme schemes!

I like it so much I wrote a song about it: https://bsdq.bandcamp.com/track/use-storm
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Cybronica »

Congrats Glow Worm, well won!
Thank you to the judges for going through all that- it’s a hell of an undertaking, and just ranking, let alone reviewing, takes a lot!
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Generic »

Ok folks, I got about three quarters through reviews before I got total fatigue from coming up with things to say and also I still have a bunch of work to do and apparently also need to write a round one song even though I was like 95% sure I wouldn't crack the top 25.

So...

In the interesting of something incomplete being better than nothing at all, here's what I did write. I hope to get to the remaining entries tomorrow, but I can't promise anything.

Overall notes - There were lots of songs that either referenced or were just about quarantine or the political situation surrounding it. This tied in nicely with something I've been thinking a lot about: Are we writing for the moment, or more generally? There were songs about quarantine that I didn't hate, but I wonder if I'll care about them a year from now. Will I revisit any of them in the future? As it stands, I'm pretty sure the answer is no, unfortunately. There's nothing wrong with content that's political or relevant to the current moment, but I hope that we can all be judicious and not let that relevancy take the place of emotional resonance or actual "meaning" in our songs.

Also overall, the production value, which is usually a good indicator of which songs will be cut early, is shockingly high. On my first listen, I don't think I came up with even ten songs that could be "easily" cut, let alone 16. I'm so happy NOT to be a judge this year.

One other note on a theme I saw come up a lot. There were a lot of lyrics whose "contradiction" took the form of two not-necessarily-contradictory statements connected with the conjunction "but." For the most part, I don't think these are contradictions. I don't want to single anyone out in this header section, but take as a made-up example: "He's short but he's handsome." The "but" here implies that there's a contradiction, but it's not really. There are many people who are both short and handsome, and the two co-existing isn't a contradiction per se. It's a minor thing, in the grand scheme of things, but I think if I were a judge, I'd have held it against every entry that did this, especially with such a crowded field.

Here are the individual reviews:

8th Grade Team - Choice of synth tones is competent, but rubs me a little bit the wrong way. It's not you, it's me. What I will fault you for is the vocals. They sound dispassionate and aren't articulated consistently, so it's difficult for me to understand some of your words (or care).

Balance Lost - I'm sorry, there must be a mistake. The tag says "Balance Lost," but this is a slow acoustic number. And yet, the voice is familiar... :mrgreen: Is that background noise creeping into your mix or some ersatz ambient percussion? If I were a judge, that second verse would have bumped you down a tier. Thankfully I don't have to rank 41 songs.

Berkeley Social Scene - You guys gel perfectly every time. I'm not crazy about your lyrics; unclear about the meaning of "She's so fine / but she's not fine / this is fine." The start-stop vocal cadence kind of bugs me as well. The drums are top-notch, and I love the electric piano and lead guitar as well. And it practically goes without saying that your production/presentation are unimpeachable. There's stuff to like here, but it doesn't rank among your best.

BMac - Having trouble making out your lyrics. I kind of like the "workshop" percussion, sounds like a woodblock? Something sawing? The vocals are too muddy and I can't get past it to hear the "contradiction" or what the song is about. About the two-minute mark, I checked the time and saw that there were still three minutes of song left?! I skipped the rest. Sorry if I missed some mind-blowing trick in the latter half that makes the song, but my interest was waning and 4:55 is way too long for this kind of thing.

Boffo Yux Dudes - I may have said this before, but I think the biggest thing holding you back is your band name. I don't think I've found any of your songs funny - maybe a joke lands here and there, but never more than once a song... And some of the songs of yours I've liked the most were the least overtly funny, like this one. There's a cleverness and truth to all the contradictions that make up your lyrics, but they're not funny, they're actually representative of an overarching anxiety in the zeitgeist.

Brown Word and the Big Whine - The vocals are mixed too low, so making out your lyrics is a challenge. "Businessman in a suit that doesn't even fit" suggests a certain topic that I'm beyond fatigued on. I hate the guy, but I've already taken in what feels like a lifetime of songs about hating him, and none have made me feel any better about the situation.

Cavedwellers - Oooh, this is crazy tight, musically. I love the riff and the bassline. I'm not wild about the lyrics. The contradiction is clever, but the chorus lyrics scan weirdly, with some awkward pauses. I do like the line "The contract has no rider." Love the production and the groove on this one.

Cloverdance - See above notes about quarantine lyrics and contradictions. I don't see "I'm not happy but I'm ok" as a contradiction. I do like "This is fine... for now." This feels more like a loose demo. It's acoustic guitars only and the vocal part is a little quivery, like you're still not comfortable with the melody yet.

DJ RangerDen - "The truth is wrong." Great start to a song. I like the modulation from minor (all the contradictions) to major ("this is fine") and back in the chorus. All the chords used here are beautiful. I do feel like this is a little undercooked. A little more rehearsing, maybe a bass and some judicious percussion might make it feel more finished.

Evan Alexander Moore - I like the momentum of this song, and the singing is great, but it runs a bit long, and my note above about quarantine lyrics applies here. I'm also not sure I heard a contradiction in the lyrics. I do like the chorus dream about a sequoia tree.

Geech Sorenson - Some of the drumming feels like it's throwing the rhythm off. Not sure what that's about; poorly chosen fills? Other instruments falling off the grid? I like the vocals and harmonies and the "slowly but suddenly" line. I had a stray thought that you could throw in another literary reference, "The end will come with a bang AND a whimper."

Glow Worm - This is SUBLIME. The breathy synths sliding gently down, sounding vaguely like sirens, their pitches changing due to the Doppler effect. The production is crystal clear on this. I love the artificial percussion. The early line start as the chorus butts into the verse. The vocal performance. "There's a hole where the house has been" as the narrative gradually reveals itself. I have no complaints about this whatsoever, except that it makes me feel like I shouldn't even try writing songs anymore. Easy #1.

Goodbye Bandita - The lead vocal is quite clear and upfront, but there's a backup vocal that I think is "arguing" with the lead vocal? I'm having a hard time hearing the backup vocal, so it's unclear. And is that the contradiction? I'm not sure that two different voices arguing create a contradiction. The synth solo is a little bit noodly, but I like it anyway. There are some interesting harmonic choices in that solo that might have sounded like "wrong" notes, but they land in such a way that they strike me as chord extensions instead. Not sure if that was intentional, but I like how it turned out.

Grumpy Mike - Production is tight, but I think the bass is a little loud in the verses. I love the line "The clock signs madly like a mime who's counting in ragtime." I don't even mind the wrong emphasis on "ragTIME" to fit there. I'm not sure I get what's going on with the lyrics, but the whole song comes together neatly and doesn't overstay its welcome, so this is one of my favorites of the round anyway.

Helen Robertson - The production is lo-fi, but presentable. Everything's in tune and in the pocket, so it works. The lyrics don't strike me at all one way or the other. I just don't care all that much about this one way or the other. Sorry about that.

Hot Pink Halo - The syncopated percussion keeps throwing me off; I can't get a toe-hold on your vocal cadence. I can't tell if it's a choice you made on purpose in this song, but it just doesn't work for me at all. I don't think the distortion effect on the voice is adding much here either. The synths seem to be competing for space in the same frequency ranges, and some of them are noodling aimlessly. Overall, I just don't think the parts of this hang together well. Had this near the bottom of my list. Sorry.

Inflatable Vegetables - Funny lyrics! You've always had a kind of lo-fi charm that I've liked. Your production isn't as clear as, say, Berkley Social Scene or Glow Worm, but it has a character all its own, and this might be my favorite Inflatable Vegetables song I've heard so far. Great work.

Jon Berger - Your vocals are weak, like you struggled to find the flow and lacked conviction. But, to be fair, that might be because the lyrical concept is kind of dumb, and deep down you know that.

Jon Eric - I wrote up some "Liner Notes" for my song. They're on page 2 of this thread if you wanna check 'em out. I'm happy with how this turned out, but after hearing the rest of the songs, I thought for sure I'd be cut. Turns out nope!

Jules Iolyn - I like the lyrics to this song well enough, but see my note at the top about contradictions. "I will prevail but I might fail" was supposed to be the contradiction, right? Except there's no contradiction here, I don't think. Those are two possible outcomes; acknowledging both isn't contradictory. Anyway, enough nitpicking about the challenge. I like the lyrical cadence a lot, and the vocal performance is confident and comfortable. The song is a little threadbare, like it's a demo of a good idea in need of fleshing out. I don't think every song needs a solo, but this one might! It would give the listener a chance to reflect on the lyrics before heading the chorus again. I'm imagining a lonely country violin.

Ken Mahru - I like all the instrumentation and production here, but the lyrics are too saccharine for me. I love you, but this one wasn't for me. Killer drums, though.

The Kraken Lives! - That's a tasty riff, but the screaming vocals are an instant turnoff for me. Couldn't make it to the end. Sorry, but genre bias strikes again!

Lichen Throat - I think there's a good song hiding somewhere under here. The synth is absolutely drowning in reverb and delay, so it's hard to make out what the tonal center and direction of the song are. The vocals don't help at all - your vocal part is wandering all over the place - to my ear it sounds like the vocal pitch has little to do with the synths. It starts working a little better when the drums come in. No one else had your lyrical approach to "This is fine," which is to your credit. But I think for that trick to work, you need to establish an emotional connection to what "fine sand" means to you, or what it's symbolic of, why it's the title of this song, to imbue that title with emotion and meaning. However, I can't see that emotional core in the song's current state, and that makes it harder to forgive the musical flaws I pointed out earlier.

The Lowest Bitter - See my top level note about quarantine lyrics. Your production value is high enough. I like the choices of synths, and how it all washes away in the new section that starts around 1:30. The transition from "This is fine" to "I'm not okay," then "This'll be fine" works well and fulfills the challenge satisfyingly to my ears. I do kind of wish that the lyrics weren't mostly about quarantine and current events. I think the interplay between "This is fine," "I'm not okay," and "This'll be fine" is the beating heart at the core of this song. I would honestly not mind if literally everything else were stripped away.

Lucky Spoon - I like the ambience. The guitar playing and singing are both performed well and they work well together. Unlike some of the other solo instrument songs in this round, your song doesn't sound like an unfinished demo - this sounds complete. That said, I think the lyrics are way too treacly for my taste. I did go check the thread and saw your explanation about how the baby had SMA and passed away at seven months old. I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a really tragic story, and I know that criticizing the song can come across as insensitive in light of that. But, there's no mention of a fatal health condition in the lyrics. There's a hint: "The day has been hard / though you haven't left your feet." But honestly? Babies cry all the time, so this could apply to any small child. With that key context missing from the song, the listener doesn't get the tragic irony.

Mandibles - Wow, there's a lot of emotionally raw stuff in the lyrics. "You say you love me but your silence is appalling." I also really like how musically adventurous it is. We get a little mini-rock-opera in four minutes here. Production-wise, you're a little rough around the edges, but the material all works really well for me. I also like how you end on a half step down instead of complying with the established melody.

Max Bombast - Oooh, I really like your pacing. Great verse melody. There's a lot of dynamism in the mix, and everything pops. The acoustic guitar sounds a little bit thin and I can only actually make it out in one ear, which I acknowledge might have been a choice, but I don't think it's working for me. The lyrics are a little meta and don't hold up much to scrutiny. I also don't hear a contradiction in the lyrics (maybe you intended for it to be "If you gave me a month / I know I'd get less done / than if I'd had an hour or two," which is perhaps a bit ironic but not a contradiction, I don't think). But oh well. I still like the arrangement and performance a lot. If I were a judge, this would lose a few places due to challenge interpretation, but even so would still be pretty high up the list.

Micah Sommersmith - You got a chuckle out of me ith "Diagramming sentences is where the money's at." I like the accordion that drives the piece. I also like the implementation of the challenge, talking about Chomsky... but I also feel like there's a ton of "backstory" to the lyrics that I'm missing out on. Reviewing the lyrics in writing, I can see that they're extensively annotated, and... yeah, I'm not reading all that. I'm not above using a link to one obscure word when I transcribe my lyrics, but what you did was... a lot, dude. Anyway, your arrangement is unique and performed well. The chorus is catchy, and I like how it deflates the pomposity as a punchline in the end "It's all a load of crap if you're asking me." Fair enough, I suppose.

Moss Palace - I didn't get the lyrics at first, but something clicked on my second listen, and I'm on board. I tried writing a song in which "This is fine" was meant more sincerely, and it kind of got away from me, ending up meaning something completely different. You managed to do it! I didn't catch the contradiction in your lyrics. I dig the understated electric piano at the end.

Nick Soma - Kind of a psychadelic surf rock vibe! I like your take on the challenge - not line to line like most of us, but verse to verse. It does potentially give off the impression that the two verses are being sung by two different narrators, but since they're both sung by you and don't have different affectations or accents or anything, that's probably me worrying on your behalf over a non-issue. I'm not as wild about the bridge, but I'm not sure how you'd do a bridge for a song like this, where the two verses are so oppositional.

Nuke Skyblaster Reporting For DUTY!! - The "Oh please spare me all your contradiction" line is a bit of a dig, yeah? Straight up the middle for you, just an uncomplicated ode to alcohol and its ability to smooth over differences between people. I don't have much commentary here. I didn't hate it, but it would probably end up near the middle of my pile or possibly even lower if I were ranking all these.

Pigfarmer Jr. - I like the guitars, but the vocals feel like they could have used another day of practice. The lyrics are clever, and I like the various ways you incorporated contradiction into your lyrics.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Fisher + Diaz »

grumpymike wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:33 pm
Fisher + Diaz wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 2:09 pm
I feel like I've talked way too much in this thread already.
I hope you continue making songs. I like them and I always think it's a sham when you get cut so early, because your music brings so much fun and diversity to the contest.
Glad to hear you like our songs, grumpymike! We like the contest part of Nur Ein, so we probably won't be making more songs for this year now that we've been cut, but you never know. Also, for next year, have you considered being a judge? :D
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by ujnhunter »

Lucky Spoon wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:46 pm
ujnhunter wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:38 pm
What is that strange code editor that you are using to write your lyrics with?
Yes, I want to know this too. I searched and found Lyric Notepad but that's only for mobile.
Ah! Yes, this looks quite similar, though I see Adam! has posted his source now... but I've downloaded and bought this App as well... it was $1.99 and good to keep in my pocket.
Adam! wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 7:35 pm
ujnhunter wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 6:38 pm
What is that strange code editor that appears to be counting syllables
That is the wonderful, incomparable, irreplaceable Storm editor, created and maintained by SongFight alum Plat. It features the best rhyming dictionary in existance, and I find it especially good for rapidly prototyping lyrics and ideas. Plus it automatically color codes your rhyme schemes!

I like it so much I wrote a song about it: https://bsdq.bandcamp.com/track/use-storm
Ah ha! I vaguely remember someone mentioning this site before... I think I even have it bookmarked! Blah! It must have been one of those 10,000 tabs that I opened to "check out someday"... Thanks for bringing it back to my attention!
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Lucky Spoon »

GlennCase wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 7:10 pm
I came close to wet eyes myself.
ayyup... recording the last chorus took a few takes before I could get all the words out without getting completely choked up. Thanks for the kind words and lengthy reviews!
Generic wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 8:17 pm
I know that criticizing the song can come across as insensitive in light of that.
No worries. I chose to put this personal subject matter out there to a bunch of strangers. To then be offended if people critique it would be super tacky. Thank you for the honest feedback.


In general:
Freakin' hats off to the judges this round. The listening party with Boffo was over 2.5 hours long... that's just one time through! Judging took I'd say a minimum of 5 if not 10 hours of volunteered time and then reviews on top of that would be even more. Thank you so much for the effort you all put in!
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vowlvom
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by vowlvom »

Congrats to those who made it through! There were a lot of really excellent songs in this round, I never expected to see 41 entries but I can honestly say listening to them for 8+ hours was almost entirely a pleasure. I've had the Cavedwellers song stuck in my head all morning.

Hope that some of the people who didn't make it through will submit shadows, the reinstatement rule seems to work really well in Spintunes (as Temnere can attest!) and it seems like a really good way to keep some of you in the game if we have any drop-outs in later rounds.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Caravan Ray »

Yes. The new rule is a good one. Good job.

Did spintunes have that rule? I know I spat the dummy and flaked in the last one because I didn’t like the title. I hope somebody took my place.

And I’ve already posted that I didn’t like this weeks title/challenge. Just sayin...
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vowlvom
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by vowlvom »

Haha yeah, Temnere took your place and then won the whole thing.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Caravan Ray »

That’s what I do. I’m an “enabler”.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Adam! wrote:
Tue May 12, 2020 7:35 pm

That is the wonderful, incomparable, irreplaceable Storm editor, created and maintained by SongFight alum Plat.
I honestly thought I was the only one (other than plat) that used that. And I mostly just use the rhyming dictionary instead of the editor.
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by ken »

Well, this is a first for me. With a lot of entries, it was just too hard to stand out of the pack. Good luck all!
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Re: Nur Ein XV Round Zero "This is Fine"

Post by bambamoozle »

Regarding "Cloverdance":

First off I would like to thank the judges and reviewers for their efforts, 41 entries! WOW!!! After listening to the entries on Monday I knew that it would be unlikely I would make it to Round One, but if I'm reading the results correctly it appears that two of the judges think that I should have survived. I appreciate those positive vibes an awful lot.

I almost never record beyond FB or Youtube videos, it's literally been years and I was rushed on Mothers' Day and it shows. Glenn Case was spot on regarding my performance, vocal pitch, syncing, and also Neil Young influence on the song. Been listening to an awful lot of Neil Young during this cooties thing, he's been doing these amazing little shows from his house in Colorado, it's been helping alot. He even showed the entire 1991 Buffalo Crazy Horse show, which I was at with my then-fiancee; the show was better than the relationship! I've also been fiddling around with little runs here and there, so that's what my song ended up being.

But I enjoyed writing the song and am unsurprised that there were so many entrants, after all you're all dealing with the same thing I am and that's why I entered too.

My contradiction was the "Daylight in a pitch-black room" line, and I was especially happy with the "Nothing's left when nothing's right" line which I may use again someday, I think that's pretty clever if I say so myself and I could probably write a song centered around it.

Cheers!
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