Nur Ein VI Round Zero "First Blood"

[nyjm]

Have to nip in (and then back out) just to excuse my total failure to appear in round zero. Stupid life and professional obligations. :-/ Still looking forward to hearing what everyone produces this year! (And hopefully hearing some of it in NY this June!)

[Calliopeva]

Jast- thanks for the feedback. As both a (former) teacher and a current Sunday School teacher I have often used personal stories as well as fables, allegories and parables to teach concepts to my students- as Jesus did. Educational doesn't have to mean modern educational, at least that is how we read it. It was also a song that tied neatly into Holy week for us, and the title/challenge sparked the same idea in both Calebs mind and my own as soon as we saw it; that is what drew us into deciding to compete in Nur Ein for the first time.

To the powers that be- Niveous? I just sent a test email to the submission address which I cut and pasted from the Nur Ein main page at http://nurein.songfight.net/index.php?title=Main_Page . This is the same addy we used last week that didn't get through to you; if you get or don't get my email please let me know, I want to be sure we can get in our song on time this round w/o an addy glitch stopping us. Thanks!

[Billy's Little Trip]

I've been working on the round my 1 song (as I'm sure we all are) and for a living, so sorry for no reviews yet, but I really do like the feedback from those that type fast and are well orginized enough to make time for reviews.

Billy's LIttle Trip
Nice driving guitar opening. I like the way this song builds. The stereo effect on the solo guitar counterpoint was a nice touch. In my top 5.

Hey thanks. Yeah, I like my funk/phase guitar fx. They get me all funky like a chunky monkey.

Billy's Little Trip - Dug the music, but didn't really feel it was all that educational. You're not the only one this round I felt that way about, and I didn't really take it into consideration much since nobody was getting eliminated this round. However...in future rounds where there will be eliminations...this sort of thing would have hurt you greatly. Oh, and I KNOW your vocals could have been better.

Yeah, the vocals were most def the weak link in this song. I hear it mostly in the chorus with the long stretched lines. I generally re-do the pitchy stuff in my final production. I still refuse to use pitch correction and just re-do it until it's right. But in these time limitations, I need to be more organized with my time. Thanks for diggin' the music. That's really what I'm all about.

BLT - Love the thump of the bass in this one. Song's nothing to write home about, but stands out so for as a pretty dang good song. Bridge at 1:50 has an awesome feel (+1 point) 8/10.

Yeah, it's just a hard rockin' groove, nothing earth shattering. But it's fun to jam out. Get's my blood pumping. Thanks, EOA.

Billy's Little Trip: Excellent mix/playing/arrangement as usual. Very pitchy vocals; these are costing you. Also, vocals sound somewhat hoarse. Now. Lyrics are good, title obviously fits, but I have no idea how the challenge factors in here. Again this seems like more of a personal story/self-expression thing than being educational.

Yeah, as stated above, the vox are the weak part of this song and it's really weak on the educational aspect. It was more of a "double cross me and you will regret the day you were born" kind of thing. I should have done a song on how to build a bomb.

NUR EIN!!!!!!

[Rabid Garfunkel]

Merisan - My first thought - as quickly as it took me to realize this was a tango titled "First Blood" - was of Tom Lehrer's "The Masochism Tango."

I got that vibe too. Most excellent song... but can you hear Erin singing it?

...actually, that's sounding pretty damned good in my head, too. Kinda Nouvelle Vague-ish.

Cool.

[Niveous]

Ah, nothing like the fresh smell of a new Nur Ein. It smells like First Blood. Let's do some reviews. (Sorry for the lateness. I've been vacationing.)

Glen Raphael
First Blood- check
Education- Hey, a person has 6 quarts of blood. I didn't know that. Plus there's all sorts of other stuff in the breakdown. check.
Lowdown- Dang, this is funky. A little lyrically thin but it's got a great groove. Highly enjoyable.

Bram Tant
First Blood- check.
Education- existentialism but not education. fail.
Lowdown- I enjoy music that is experimental. But with any experiment, you have to take the successes with the failures. This one was a failure as it dragged (it definitely needs something to switch it up after a while) and hard panned (which can be draining to listen to sometimes). Play around with the speed next time.

Abbott and Hines
First Blood- check
Education- Christianity but not education
Lowdown- Internet collabs are tough. There's a definite difference between the two productions and that can be jarring. The piano in this is lovely. The harmonies need a little work, which is tough with an internet collab. It's one person trying to match the other's sound without the two being able to find middle ground. Lyrics were okay but didn't standout.
Extra: A&H is such a drab name. This project needs a band name (and a band photo)

WreckdoM
First Blood: check.
Education: it's like i'm listening to the IMDB. check.
Lowdown: Whole Lotta Love. This song has a lot of punch but it needs to be tightened up. The educational part was actually my favorite part of the song. Fun but sloppy.

DJ Ranger Den
First Blood: check.
Education: It's illegal to box and store piranha in the US. I did not know that (but kinda figured). check.
Lowdown: Minimalist musical composition over some verbal flow. Experiment gets a pass but it needs a little more to it to get past just being spoken word. Still there is something I really dig about this.

Luke Henley
First Blood: check
Education: It's a how-to on how to deal with a relationship that includes a cat that sprays.
Lowdown: The first ah... was a bit jarring but it got better as the song went on. The percussion creates a very dark atmosphere to the song which I appreciated. Runs a little long but I enjoyed how sinister this song is.

Adam Adamant
First Blood: check
Education: It's trying to tell me a story but never identified the characters. fail.
Lowdown: Interesting instrument choices. Is that a ukelele? Also a very interesting structure to the song. I don't love the song but I don't hate it. I don't like the song as much when the ukelele (or whatever the strings are) leaves and the climax of the song falls flat. First blood happens and it's treated with the same fervor as the rest of the song.

Boffo Yux Dudes
First Blood: Fail.
Education: Autotrophic. New word. Yay! Check.
Lowdown: Does anyone else hear a little Caravan Ray in this? Some of the jokes fell super flat, especially the end. Decent musical composition and well performed but it's hard to get past the lack of first blood. If I was hearing this song outside of the realm of Nur Ein, my first reaction would be "Why the hell was that called First Blood"?

Embers of Autumn
First Blood: Check
Education: Fail.
Lowdown: Propitiation. SAT word. And the most delightful part of the song. The rest is a very very sleepy song. It's just not interesting and it's very forgettable. Gotta stand out from the pack, EoA. Give the listener things to think about or speak to our emotions, perhaps.

Rabid Garfunkel
First Blood: Check
Education: More advertisement than education.
Lowdown: It's carnival barking with a rockabilly beat, but it misses the mark. Master Angelo would need to be better presented. There's about 30 seconds in the middle (and it's not a long song) than loses the character completely. This needs to be more of a tall tale of his glory and this barely touches. Touches, swordfighting, look ma i made a funny.

John Kloberdanz
First Blood: Check
Education: Danube to the Baltic= Attila the Hun's stomping grounds. Good and educational. Check.
Lowdown: J-Klo has upped his game since his last Nur Ein appearance. I like this song. Jill (Niv's GF) listed this song in her top three. The harmonica is a great touch to the song. Occasionally hits a quirky lyrical choice (Europeans/Human Beings... it works but it's a groaner) but the sum is a very well done tune.

Jon Eric
First Blood: Check
Education: Tikal, huh. Check.
Lowdown: I am convinced that Jon Eric works best outside of SF conditions. His SF archive. Okay. His Nur Ein archive. Much stronger. His ability to tackle those verbal tongue twisters was impressive. He kept his voice in check for the most part and delivered an interesting and well performed song.

Manhattan Glutton
First Blood: Check
Education: Awareness... Awareness is education but there's a big difference between saying "This is a 4" and saying "This is a 4, which is one more than 3 and one less than 5". But there's a breakdown of how cuts work in there. Pass.
Lowdown: It's a rocking song about cutting. There's a musical stretch than drag the song down (see 0:36 to 1:04) that almost killed me as a listener and when the same kind of stretch came after 1:35, I got worried but it was much shorter and went into the punchy bridge. Song got better as it went on but the whole song sits in the middle of the pack.

Merisan
First Blood: Check
Education: It's a How-to. Creative take on the challenge. Check.
Lowdown: Great vocals from Erin and spectacular musical competition (gotta love a good accordian). Not the lyrically strongest song but it's a fun song to listen to and don't wear after repeated listens.
PS: Can I get a b-side for this song in the form of a cover of Bloodletting the Vampire Song?

Frankie Big Face
First Blood: Check
Education: Check (kinda)
Lowdown: Jill (the aforemention GF) found the section after the pause jarring. Me, not so much. But it wasn't the most exciting song. Definitely middle of the pack as it doesn't have much that stands out. If the vocals kicked up a little more when the music did, it may have worked better. Maybe a middle ground between the two views? Pump up the vocals instead of the music.

Pop Machine
First Blood: Fail
Education: CHECK PLUS
Lowdown: This song goes above and beyond with the education but with all that info coming at you a mile a minute, it's too much to soak in and distracts too much from the music.

Billy's Little Trip
First Blood: Check
Education: Fail
Lowdown: Let's call a spade a spade, this song is an uninspired but decent song that misses the education part completely as if to say- I wanna be in Nur Ein but I've got nothing but I'm going to give it a shot because it's Round Zero. We got less than 25 bands, the gamble paid off. I hope for more next round.

WSA
First Blood: Check
Education: Check
Lowdown: As expected from this quartet of musical magicians, this song is one of the musically strongest in the round but I wish the lyrical content was more grounded. I felt as if I was just being bombarded by random facts. If there was a story under it all, it was easy to miss.

Ross Durand
First Blood: Check
Education: Check
Lowdown: Tough break. The idea of a guide to making a new vampire is a good idea. Too bad the song never gets out of 1st gear and ends up outshined by Merisan's. Still, it's not the worst of the pack. Safely in the middle with a good but not standout performance and okay lyrics.

Paco del Stinko
First Blood: Check (not said but clearly in there)
Education: Elmer earns a check.
Lowdown: I enjoyed this greatly. Well put together and delivers the educational content well. It's a fun song and it's deserving of its victory.

[dantes]

I would argue that my song was educational in the sense that it "teaches" about depression/self-harm.

[Rabid Garfunkel]

@Niv'

I'd parry, but I don't have a riposte

[JonPorobil]

I would argue

THERE'S yer problem.

[BoffoYux]

Niv -

I think you missed our earlier post. Autotrophs are basically clones. So they are all 'First Blood' relations. We didn't want to do the Vampire/liquid theme, so we went that way. Zig instead of Zag. Might not have been clear, but the title and challenge was met.

Boffo Yux

[Caravan Ray]

Glen Raphael
Major mark down for use of imperial quantities. The world is metric sonny. Move with it. Be this a warning to anyone else who tries to use non-SI units in a song. It is unacceptable. Otherwise, a solid effort that did not grab me particularly.

Bram Tant
Echos of VU's John Cale - but no viola. A bit dull

Abbott and Hines
This is just plain awful.

WreckdoM
Great to see Wreckdom back. Can do better.

DJ Ranger Den
Everyone needs to remember that your only purpose here is to entertain me. You have done it. This was fun and very entertaining. Well done. Obviously if you continue with this approach for future songs - the novelty will wear off. So find me a new novelty. And keep up the good work

Luke Henley
Great to see Luke Henley back. Can do better.

Adam Adamant
This was all a bit sloppy. You can tend to be a little hit-and-miss - and when you hit you are very good. This was a miss for mine.

Boffo Yux Dudes
Niveous wrote:
Does anyone else hear a little Caravan Ray in this?
It is true, that approach to recording appears to be not unlike my own. These kiddies could go a long way.

Embers of Autumn
You wrote this was a rushed job. It shows. Very poor.

Rabid Garfunkel
This was pretty cool. Guitar is great. Good idea - but the voice became a bit repetitive. A sung chorus (with female vox?) thrown in as contrast would help things enormously

John Kloberdanz
Now - I love a historical ballad, but here is one thing I WILL NOT stand for. Historical inaccuracy.* I do not want to be lied to by light entertainment:

William was the Duke of Normandy and became an English king
He sailed across the Channel and took over everything
At the Battle of Hastings he killed his brother and soon he won the thrown (sic)

Excuse me?!?!?! As far as I recall - William of Normandy only had 2 half-brothers, one of whom was on his side at Hastings and they both outlived him. It may be said that William killed Harold Godwinson - but they really were not related in any way.

Despite the major black mark - I enjoyed this immensely and rated it highly.

Jon Eric
Did I say I love a historical ballad?* Wonderfully written song. Well done. Fairly poor execution - the vox were pretty sloppy - but such a great song.

Manhattan Glutton
Sounds great. Just didn't grab me much.

Merisan
Excellent work. Very enjoyable. Great vocals, well written song, fun arrangement.

Frankie Big Face
Nothing much grabbing me here.

Pop Machine
Bland musically and not very interesting lyrically.

Billy's Little Trip
BLT colour-by-numbers. More effort needed.

WSA
This was very good. i know you can still do better - but this was not bad in any way, shape or form

Ross Durand
This is very impressive. Great build up in vox. Like a musical version of a Christopher Moore novel.

Paco del Stinko
As I wrote earlier - I love a historical ballad*. This is Johnny Horton-esque in its awesomeness. Almost Frankie Laine-esque. I have no higher praise.



*Although I was harsh on Johnny Klob - it is only because I recently read Simon Scharma's History of Britain. I really hope Paco and Jon have not tried to slip any porkies past me in my current ignorance of their subject matter. Rest assured, I will be researching every line thoroughly. They wont get away with anything.

[bambamoozle]

Excuse me?!?!?! As far as I recall - William of Normandy only had 2 half-brothers, one of whom was on his side at Hastings and they both outlived him. It may be said that William killed Harold Godwinson - but they really were not related in any way.

Doh! I even sent the lyrics to my former social studies teacher mom for proofreading!

[dantes]

I would argue

THERE'S yer problem.

Too many arguments!

[Rabid Garfunkel]

Glen Raphael
Major mark down for usRabid Garfunkel
This was pretty cool. Guitar is great. Good idea - but the voice became a bit repetitive. A sung chorus (with female vox?) thrown in as contrast would help things enormously

Yeah, well, I'm too much of a prick to keep any female singer from not hating me after a few go-rounds... and the only one who'd still give me the time of day only sings METAL... guess I wait to see what Round Two's title/challenge is, hey?

[BoffoYux]

I had a quick technical question - I thought the song title didn't have to be in the song lyrics, but the subject matter needed to be addressed as well as the challenge. Am I off in this assumption?

[roymond]

I had a quick technical question - I thought the song title didn't have to be in the song lyrics, but the subject matter needed to be addressed as well as the challenge. Am I off in this assumption?

There's no rule about the song title being in the lyrics. But don't make it too obtuse or you'll end up defending yourself in the boards. And you saw where that got Frankie.

[glenra]

Glen Raphael
Major mark down for use of imperial quantities. The world is metric sonny. Move with it. Be this a warning to anyone else who tries to use non-SI units in a song. It is unacceptable. Otherwise, a solid effort that did not grab me particularly.

Yeah, but you try fitting "5.6 liters" into a song lyric...

-Glen

[frankie big face]

I had a quick technical question - I thought the song title didn't have to be in the song lyrics, but the subject matter needed to be addressed as well as the challenge. Am I off in this assumption?

There's no rule about the song title being in the lyrics. But don't make it too obtuse or you'll end up defending yourself in the boards. And you saw where that got Frankie.

I don't get your reference.

[roymond]

I really hope Paco and Jon have not tried to slip any porkies past me in my current ignorance of their subject matter. Rest assured, I will be researching every line thoroughly. They wont get away with anything.

Paco seems to have set Wikipedia to music. So, it's about as accurate as Encyclopedia Britannica. fwiw.

[roymond]

I had a quick technical question - I thought the song title didn't have to be in the song lyrics, but the subject matter needed to be addressed as well as the challenge. Am I off in this assumption?

There's no rule about the song title being in the lyrics. But don't make it too obtuse or you'll end up defending yourself in the boards. And you saw where that got Frankie.

I don't get your reference.

sorry. I was projecting into the future

[Paco Del Stinko]

Paco seems to have set Wikipedia to music.

Ha! I cannot deny that. Ellsworth was way down on a list of searches under first blood. Had never heard of him before. Biggest inaccuracie: "Rich and poor fighting as one". Yeah, right. Needed a rhyme.

Caravan Ray: You are fantastic. Those reviews are the nuts.

[Caravan Ray]

I had a quick technical question - I thought the song title didn't have to be in the song lyrics, but the subject matter needed to be addressed as well as the challenge. Am I off in this assumption?

No - you are correct.

And IMHO - since the repetition of the title can sometimes become annoying over 20+ songs - it is often a good idea to avoid using the title in the lyrics where possible

[Caravan Ray]

Glen Raphael
Major mark down for use of imperial quantities. The world is metric sonny. Move with it. Be this a warning to anyone else who tries to use non-SI units in a song. It is unacceptable. Otherwise, a solid effort that did not grab me particularly.

Yeah, but you try fitting "5.6 liters" into a song lyric...

-Glen

It's "litres". Not "liters".