Nur Ein VII Round Zero "Breaking The Ice"

[Caravan Ray]

For me your song, lyrically, was little more than a cutesy and slightly over-long exercise in fluffing your interpretation of the challenge.

Oh, I agree with that 100%.

But I did meet the challenge.

[j$]

I didn't say you didn't

[Caravan Ray]

Correct, you didn't say that. As you clarified, you said that I paraded or displayed it ostentatiously.

Oh well - if you got it, flaunt it.

[JonPorobil]

Breaking the Ice


11. Jon Eric- I like the song that is written a lot more than the performance or the production. The vocals sound good. The keys sound good (who’d a thunk). The bass and drums are a little too loose and awkward. Those shouts sound more like a raised voice. The lyrics are a bit obvious. I love the idea of the shuffle. The melody is pretty great too, although reminding me of the Georgia Satellites during the “…start a conversation…” octave honky tonk thing (keep your hands to yourself) is something I’ll have a hard time forgiving you for. This would be a stronger song without the challenge check box semi-shouting bridge. Good stuff!

Ooh, lawdy, that is the same vocal trick, isn't it? To be fair, Georgia Satellite didn't invent that technique, and they certainly weren't who I had in mind when I was singing it... to be honest, I'm pretty sure the only thing on my mind was "Ohmigod, did I just hit that note? I think I did!"

Anyway, thanks for the review. I know my preferred style isn't quite your thing (nor yours mine), but I've noticed that the timbre of our reviews has gotten more pleasant and open-minded over the years, and I do appreciate it. I know part of it is that I've been showing real signs of improvement, but I'd like to think a lot of it is just expectations. You have a reasonable idea of what a Jon Eric song sounds like, and you can tell what works about this one (and what doesn't) by gauging it against past work.

...and they say familiarity breeds contempt.

[RangerDenni]

9. DJ Ranger Den- I love the jazz. I dig the vibes. The echo is too much for my tastes. This is rather meandering. I feel like I gave this review to you before. Nice string touches! I want to lock you in a room with a collection of Ella Fitzgerald CD’s and not let you come out until you have more vocal licks. Your voice is great, lots of potential to be even better. This is great!

yay for this review. yay! meaning I agree. I feel like I have gotten this review from you and a few others before.

I do hope I find some hook before this contest goes much further... :/

[roymond]

This round, some slack was cut. I will be more literal and apply a more scientific grading method during the non-zero fights, as necessary.

My reviews are in a PDF here.

[Rabid Garfunkel]

My reviews are in a PDF here.

Yes, squeaked out, indeed. Long story short, had to change the time sig and tempo to make the chorus vocals fit the song, borking everything. Chorus was good enough (IMO) to change the rest of the song to fit it.

Surreal review grid, esp. the iconography! Dig it.

[Chris Cogott]

6. Chris Cogott- I do find the chorus lyrics a little obvious. It’s Sammy Hagar school of rock lyrics. Is there shouting in there? It’s arguable that the singing style is shouting. I don’t think it embraces the spirit of the challenge. This ranks high due to killer musicianship, an awesome solo, and great vocals.

Damn! I completely forgot about that. Sorry. Now where is that thing?? Oh here we go.

Sammy Hagar Filter - CHECK!

Thanks Glenny!

[frankie big face]

This round, some slack was cut. I will be more literal and apply a more scientific grading method during the non-zero fights, as necessary.

My reviews are in a PDF here.

Love the PDF. I actually chuckled upon opening it. I was worried about my recording quality but since you said it was okay, I'm okay with it. Just upgraded to Logic 9 moments ago so we'll see what happens this time around.

[frankie big face]

You'll get my reviews tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'll get them tomorrow, it's only a day away!!!!!!

[Spud]

Free Beer Tomorrow.

[nyjm]

And there was totally free beer yesterday.

[roymond]

I made my wife buy the beer tonight.

[Billy's Little Trip]

I made my wife buy the beer tonight.

If it was with your credit card, you get no awesome points.

[Niveous]

Before I go on to the actual reviews, a note on shouting. This is a tough thing to measure, at least in my eyes. What is a shout. Well, Caravan Ray showed me one definition. Merriam Webster says it’s “to utter a sudden loud cry” or to “utter in a loud voice”. That leads to the question of what’s loud. It all becomes a judgment call. So, I didn’t penalize too much for the challenge this time (besides, it is round zero). Next round though, those musical rounds better be in place. On to the reviews in whatever order my computer wants to play them (Update- I wanted to do this podcast style but that didn’t happen. Maybe next round):

Sausage did pretty good with his song. This is your average Songfight song. Non-threatening, breaks no new ground. The shouting was lost here. It was in the lyric but not in the performance. Eh, can’t complain about the song. It didn’t set my world on fire but it wasn’t bad either. This song is the definition of middle-of-the-pack. Not necessarily where you wanna be in the Nur Ein.

BGM won this round by a mile. From the moment the song turns on and you are hit with that riff, you are hooked. The whispery vocals are a great contrast to the cheerleader shouts on the chorus (also the best handling of the challenge). Well put together. A well-deserved win.

I enjoy the bass in the WSA song (who’s the bassist in that motley crew?) as it has a “Walk on the Wildside” feel. Wish I enjoyed the rest of the song as much. The opening with Frisbee, even with the rolling drums was still very laid back and it all ended up being very sleepy. There was no hook in the song either, so it never pulled me in anywhere. I can appreciate the musicianship but it just wasn’t interesting. Plus, the shout was weak and what was with the whoa’s.

Chris Cogott brought some old school hard rock. This could’ve been done by (insert 80’s glam rock band here). It’s a catchy tune. I really don’t have a lot to say about this because it wasn’t a standout but it was nowhere near a failure. I do have to commend Cogott for adding a nice guitar solo. In the world of Songfight/Nur Ein, guitar solos are one of the things we don’t have enough of (like women musicians, and heavy metal)

I don’t get BYD’s humor on this one. For instance, the inflection on “She just ran away/ Hire me right now”. Is that supposed to be part of the gag, a Sam Kinison thing? And the makeup of the song, part sing-song and part rocked out. It’s not the worst song in the round but it doesn’t do much for me. There’s just something about how this is all built. Many times, there’s a joke lyric like a fart joke or that tae kwon do line but it’s got no comic timing. The joke doesn’t breathe and BYD is on to the next joke. Think about the comic timing. And only Invader Zim can get away with “Wettening”.

Nur Ein fun fact: the fastest entry ever award goes to Ligers With Attitude. LWA’s song was in the Nur Ein mailbox within 24 hours of the title announcement. Despite the lightspeed work, the song is not too shabby. The shout factor is questionable. The “yeah” isn’t exactly shouted. One big positive is the bass riff. With BGM and LWA throwing down this rhythms, I’m disappeared we already used up bass solo as a challenge back in Nur Ein I. It’s got a great first verse but that second verse where it starts getting into the science is where the song loses steam and then the bridge of la-la’s kills the momentum. By the time the last verse came around, it’s hard to get into. Musically strong, lyrically weaker.

When I heard “He found me in New Jersey”, I thought Rabid Garfunkel was about to sing about bumping into me in New Brunswick. Now, I said sing but that’s a misnomer. Rabid didn’t sing, he talked and then he and his bandmates shouted on the chorus, meanwhile the thinnest of accompaniment occurred behind him. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I love a good avant-garde song but not every experiment is a success and this was way off the mark but hey, it was only a minute long.

Adam Adamant went with the combo of ukulele and cowbell plus some electrobits. Surprisingly, it worked and worked well. I love the chorus which treads the line of a shout. Then there’s the issue of the bridge made of static. Now I’ve done my share of odd soundscaping as the rest of the judges will tell you (those XTRG recordings have some strange things in there) but this static just comes off as a distraction. The first time you listen, you wonder if something has fucked up your speakers. The next time, you know it’s there and you are waiting to get through it. A blight on a pretty good song. “We meet again in future tense”. Nice.

FBF did a good li’l alternative rock tune. Matthew Sweet would’ve loved this back in the day. If there’s anything FBF is good at is making a catchy chorus. One flaw is that we hear that chorus just a bit too much. Maybe take away the repetition. Great bridge and it fulfills the shout requirement by clearly stating this is the shouty part and then filling it with shouts. Convenient for judging. One of the better tunes of this fight.

Is Genevieve a man’s name? It literally means “female of the species”. Since C-Ray is building quite a background for the Chiefs, I can’t wait to hear that part. And pick a name- is it Genevieve Jones or Johnson? It keeps switching. There’s some charm to this. Sure, there’s the shouting interpretation which I’ll let slide. I like that the story is sung. There’s a drinking song feel to this and it works alongside the lyrics full of cheesy pickup lines. Good Job. (Update- C-Ray picked Johnson)

Jon Eric’s vocals are improving though some notes still go awry. His piano is a strong point but what was up with the organ. I did not enjoy the sound of that. It goes away on the bridge and I thought I was going to be happy. Then during the shouting section he says “I won a songfight once” and I was instantly turned off. Self-reflexive comedy is hit or miss. That missed with me, especially since it came without warning. The song wasn’t Jon’s strongest and that section as a whole (even without the reference) was the weakest part.

Ross did what he usual does, straight forward rock tune. No complaints about that. It has some nice touches though like the guitar solo and the way he went into that solo. The verses before that are okay. But let’s discuss the shouting section. I commend Ross for going wholeheartedly into the challenge. Shouting vocals are not Ross’ strong suit. That section was not great and perhaps he could’ve went at the shouting section in a different way.

I’m a big fan of WreckdoM’s music. This isn’t one of their best works but it’s far from their worst. The idea of Geoff doing a line and then this other shouting voice doing a complimentary line was great in theory but bad in practice as the complimentary lines often lacked the comic punch and that voice was just grating by the end of the song. Musically, it was crunchy guitars and keys which were good but the drums were crap. I dig the catchy chorus. The Dating Game part was pure WreckdoM. Hot dog!

DJ Ranger Den’s voice is its usual mix of kewpie and sultry, and she played to her strengths with her piano playing. It was very Tori Amos-y. But then in the 2nd verse things went awry with some unnecessary vocal effects and then there’s a scream. She rights the ship by the last verse and ends softly. It’s a decent song. Not a single but a solid b-side. It’s a song that sits in the middle of this pack.

Oystercatcher’s song is interesting with its sampled shout and the rain in the background as ambiance. I like when songs go and tread different ground. Not every experiment is successful but it’s still worth experimenting. This was successful in my book because it created an interesting atmosphere to go along with the lyrics which went a very dark route. “I love the bottom of the lake. Leave me alone.” Good stuff. Just wish there was more lyrical content and none of the walking away sounds at the end.

Merisan brought simple straightforward with a great shout chorus. This would be a fun song to hear live because of the call & response nature. There are some keys laying around in the mix which are a nice touch along with the quick li’l clean guitar solo and the riffs underneath the final choruses. Well put together and a lot of fun. One of the better songs in the round.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a rap song like Snappy + Floyd’s. The delivery is almost grimy (I mean like The Streets) in some parts. The idea to sample Queen’s “Under Pressure” aka the sample to “Ice Ice Baby” was very smart. There are some great lyrics (“Tales of Brave Ulysses Grant…”) and the stop was well done. All in all, this was peculiar in a great way with quirky musical composition under smart lyrics. Nicely done.

In Genevieve Johnson’s song, it’s very conversational but it still feels very much like a song. Jo Ann Abbott tries the same thing on her song but it misses the mark because it’s more like sing-song talking. It comes off more like beat poetry. Good idea with a dating profile gone wrong but its poor execution as this needed to be more of a song, instead of a poem with the occasional raised or lowered voice and lilt.

ADD’s song has a great intro with the dual keys which then turn into synthesized strings and bass. There’s a lot of good things about the composition. I’m mixed on the sing-talked vocals on the early verses. I know it was supposed to be eerie but I think it could’ve been stronger with some whispery singing. The best part of the song is the middle section. It goes right off the rails with the scream (which was really unnecessary with the preceding lyric) and repeated “Breaking the Ice”. Despite that, the musical composition is so strong that it all holds together well. I’m 50/50 on this song.

In some ways, Idiot Kings’ song is the inverse of ADD’s. The whispery vocals are great while it could use some stronger composition. The verse at the beginning is very basic and not very interesting but there is a bit of a build. I wish the build would’ve been gradual instead of the music beefing up in the middle of the 2nd verse. But once the song beefs up, it becomes spectacular. Reminds me of listening to Stabbing Westward (that’s a good thing, kinda).

The Chocolate Chips song starts with their “shout” and it’s awfully cheesy. The song is a updated take on Surf rock. I like the backmasking and the 60’s style guitar solo. I’m not as big a fan of the nasal vocal and the song’s incredibly repetitive nature. It’s really bad when you feel a song is repetitive when it’s only 2 minutes long.

I like the bass on Manhattan Glutton’s song. The song is a nice mix of rock and blues. Let’s address the vocals. This is going to song strange to some but hear me out; I would’ve liked it if it had more of the screaming screechy parts. Why? Consistency. When those lines come up now, they sound more like missed notes than intention. If I heard the song outside of the Nur Ein context, I’d think it was a fuck up instead of a purposeful shout at the edge of MG’s vocal range. I would prefer if the song just went balls out and delivered a loud screechy chorus which would contrast the verses.

Lastly, beatbox percussion is hard to do right. Nice try, GCC. Not perfect execution but ok. The piano is the MVP of this song. It has such a sweet tone that it uplifts the shoddy percussion and the shaky vocals. The guitar is a nice touch as it accents the piano well. Great ending where the lyrics calm down and the piano drops out leaving just the guitar (and not the beatbox). Well done.

[Alvis]

I don’t get BYD’s humor on this one. For instance, the inflection on “She just ran away/ Hire me right now”. Is that supposed to be part of the gag, a Sam Kinison thing? And the makeup of the song, part sing-song and part rocked out. It’s not the worst song in the round but it doesn’t do much for me. There’s just something about how this is all built. Many times, there’s a joke lyric like a fart joke or that tae kwon do line but it’s got no comic timing. The joke doesn’t breathe and BYD is on to the next joke. Think about the comic timing. And only Invader Zim can get away with “Wettening”.

Thanks for the feedback, Niveous. (BTW, this is Al, the OTHER current BYD. Figured if I was serious I should actually, you know, show up. Tom shouldn't have ALL the fun). I appreciate that it's straightforward and constructive; it's not easy being cannon fodder for the early rounds of these contests sometimes, but I'm in it to learn what I can. (Millionaire playboy-turned-crimefighter Tommy G's motivations, however, remain inscrutable as always.)

Since my daughter quotes "Invader Zim" incessantly, I'll run your observation by her to confirm that she concurs...

[frankie big face]

One flaw is that we hear that chorus just a bit too much. Maybe take away the repetition.

I agree with this. I'll need to experiment a little bit with how to fix the structure. I don't think simply not repeating fixes the problem. I tried it and it seemed out of balance. But you're absolutely right.

[Jefff]

There should be a short-hand for the type of criticism in which the critic just doesn't like some aspect that was -- for the song-maker -- the whole reason to do the song in the first place.

[JonPorobil]

There should be a short-hand for the type of criticism in which the critic just doesn't like some aspect that was -- for the song-maker -- the whole reason to do the song in the first place.

How about just "Not getting it"?

Anyway... A few people mentioned that my nominal satisfaction of the challenge requirements really took them out of the song. How's about I cut a version that doesn't include that ramble? There's actually some fun piano stuff going on under that section which I wouldn't mind bringing back up to the forefront of the mix anyway...

[roymond]

A few people mentioned that my nominal satisfaction of the challenge requirements really took them out of the song. How's about I cut a version that doesn't include that ramble? There's actually some fun piano stuff going on under that section which I wouldn't mind bringing back up to the forefront of the mix anyway...

If you do this, but don't post it to SomeSongs, Lunkhead will kill you.

[Jefff]

Not quite what I'm saying. It's more like getting everything except the one thing the maker really wanted you to get.

[Rabid Garfunkel]

When I heard “He found me in New Jersey”, I thought Rabid Garfunkel was about to sing about bumping into me in New Brunswick.

I realized after the fact that very same thing. But I equated New Jersey with hitting rock-bottom, in the creation myth of the song, and liked it too much to change the line. Song inspired completely by the way Tom Waits growls the word "Indoneeesia" in "What's He Building?" (With a hint of his "Singapore", too).

As a song, epic fail. As a Waits-esque thing, doubly so. But yeah, it was only a minute long If I make it to Round 2, being that Round 1's entry was pushing 2 minutes long, maybe I'll shoot for a 3 minute song, heh.