Nur Ein IX Round One "Your Light No Longer Shines"

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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Caravan Ray »

Calliopeva wrote: ( though I did have a friend who tried! Thanks John!)..
Sorry I couldn't finish it. I was trying to fit your vocals into a rap beat - it was sort of working. But then I met a cute girl at the pub and got really drunk...so - at least I had a good excuse for dumping the project.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by carlo bruno jr »

Ross: I posted lyrics. Attention Carlo Bruno - I also posted in Spanish (after translating them to literal English - that was interesting).
Thanks Ross. I appreciate your translation as a gift. I agree on your dark vision of "america's today" but is my feeling that this deviation of the natural path is a whole world matter. :cry:
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Niveous »

For those wondering, we are still waiting for one of the judges to give in their scores.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Rabid Garfunkel »

As a pretty consistent bottom-scorer, may I just say arrrrgh!...

err, I mean Eeeiiiiiiiiiinnnnn!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by JonPorobil »

I'm the straggler judge, and I apologize for my tardiness. I turned in my scores a few minutes ago. Niveous should do the final calculation and announce soon, but I'll say this...

Rabid, keep working on your Round 2 song. ;)
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Rabid Garfunkel »

Huh. That's a first :o Errr, go team!
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by glennny »

Way to go Pete!!!!
Awesome song! We'll deserved victory!
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Alvis »

A well-deserved congratulations to those who have continued on to the next round. I look forward to hearing what else you produce in this contest.

But a personal request regarding reviews of the BYD song: I know it's not the best (mostly my fault), but please keep the comments on the song itself and not the occasionally-bandied about opinions of the "you guys aren't funny and never will be" variety. Not normally a problem (occupational hazard, and we're not even trying to be funny a lot of the time), but it's been a reeeeeaaaallly shitty week (lost my job, sis-in-law in coma due to massive heart attack on same day), so a bit of moderation would be gratefully accepted. Thank you.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Mysteria »

Alvis wrote:A well-deserved congratulations to those who have continued on to the next round. I look forward to hearing what else you produce in this contest.

But a personal request regarding reviews of the BYD song: I know it's not the best (mostly my fault), but please keep the comments on the song itself and not the occasionally-bandied about opinions of the "you guys aren't funny and never will be" variety. Not normally a problem (occupational hazard, and we're not even trying to be funny a lot of the time), but it's been a reeeeeaaaallly shitty week (lost my job, sis-in-law in coma due to massive heart attack on same day), so a bit of moderation would be gratefully accepted. Thank you.
So sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope your SIL recovers soon & the job situation resolves itself to be better than it was before. Hang in there.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by RangerDenni »

oh no! what an awful week for you. If it helps, it was interesting as a BYD-fan to hear you guys step out and do something a little different. It's good that you are always experimenting. I thought there was a fair bit of that for a few folks this time, and it was nice to hear. :)
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Alvis »

Mysteria wrote:
Alvis wrote:A well-deserved congratulations to those who have continued on to the next round. I look forward to hearing what else you produce in this contest.

But a personal request regarding reviews of the BYD song: I know it's not the best (mostly my fault), but please keep the comments on the song itself and not the occasionally-bandied about opinions of the "you guys aren't funny and never will be" variety. Not normally a problem (occupational hazard, and we're not even trying to be funny a lot of the time), but it's been a reeeeeaaaallly shitty week (lost my job, sis-in-law in coma due to massive heart attack on same day), so a bit of moderation would be gratefully accepted. Thank you.
So sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope your SIL recovers soon & the job situation resolves itself to be better than it was before. Hang in there.
Thank you very much, Danni (& Denni!) It is truly appreciated. And I'm not here to turn this into a pity party; we always do appreciate true constructive criticism. Again, great work to all involved...lotta talented people here.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by furrypedro »

Oh Scheiße, I feel for your bad times Alvis dude. I hope your sis is gonna be okay. I'm sure you'll be back in employment soon.

Massive thanks to the judges for the confidence booster! I am slightly shocked. Cheers :)

Nur the fuck Ein!x9
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by carlo bruno jr »

Overall impression: I think the challenge has been solved by all participants. It was more evident when different solo voices alternated, but reading the lyrics I see every one of the contestants has fulfilled one way or another.

Regarding the music itself: With exceptions, in this round I felt surrounded by hordes of acoustic guitars. Too many for me. Time constraints probably play in favor of these forces of evil, but I wish more electric next rounds.

Adam Adamant: Your job in the percussion parts has again been very good for me, but this time your song has not reached the level of last week. It could be a song more than acceptable, but I think it is poorly dressed. What (little) you've done is fine, but with more sounds you'd gone out of the middle.

Balance Lost: That organ riff in the left channel really kills me and puts the song in the upper area of ​​my rankings. I loved the growth of the song in the chorus.

Boffo Yux Dudes: Because there is clearly a BYD sound, this song passes the cut for me, but I have nothing good nor anything bad to say about it.

Calliopeva: At times I seem to be listening to my grandmother singing while sewing, which I do not know if it's good or bad. The song suffers, like last week, lack of accompaniment to the voices. What eventually happens is that I do not understand if there is any musical logic inside the song. Sure there is, but ...

Cavedwellers: Sound impressive as ever. The part of the guitar solo has a fantastic start and when it seems that I will start to get bored, comes a kind of mad and takes control of the drums. What wonderful fills!!. (Call me Idiot, but all of the above is what makes me overlook the real or simulated presence of children, which I'd rather not happen in an adult context. For me it is a matter of aesthetics and personal taste, so that comment only serves to help define me) Technically, I must confess that I will preserve these recordings to learn how to do. You do as I aspire in lots of parameters. You always do a wonderful job in controls. And in songwritting.

Chocolate Chips: Again a very nice song. Full of bright moments of synthy melancholy. I really like the rhythm changes. The final resolution of the issue is perfect.

Cookie Blue: This song gets an A on the First 10 Seconds Test. After, as it is a repetition of three virtually identical vocals parts the song gets a bit boring. Add a few spices here and there and see.

DJ Ranger Den: This is the best rounded song of the week. Seamless from start to finish. I like the atmosphere, the harmonies evolving in the background, duration, lyrics. Congratulations DJRD, very nice round. Keep giving us brilliant moments like this.

Ghost Pup: There is nothing particularly lovely in your entry this week, but you keep your fighting in your own universe, which in my opinion makes you a candidate to continue in competition.

Inflatable Vegetables: At first listen I thought the chorus to the (great) verse musically incoherent. In reading the lyrics I understood a little better the change, but I remain unconvinced. However, the verse seems to me more than wonderful and so score well.

Ken Marhu: Your song is boring, but I think it is not because it is bad. I think it's because you keep at the top of mixing the more repetitive parts: acoustic guitar and voice, whose melody ends up being repetitive and monotonous. The details are there, you've recorded, but you have not been generous to them in the mix, rather shy. If you had pushed up the details of the song would have won many points. The proof of what I say is the time where the keyboard rules; then the song gets a boost up.

Kraut Kitten: Wonderful that melodic keyboard detail in the early verses. The verse grows well and although the chorus does not kill me I've caught myself singing it from the inside several times throughout the day, and that score well.

Levittdown: Light years from your round zero entry. A small disappointment.

Ligers With Attitude: Funny exercise in style, but the song falls a bit behind compared to the general level. However there is something that keeps me waiting for something brilliant of these Ligers.

Manhattan Glutton: Big sound & big drama. I loved last block on lyrics (dad section). Except that final letter, the song does not leave anything inside me once over. I appreciate your skills enough, but this round I found below your potential

Merisan: Very happy to see you outside I thought that was your confortzoneland. As the song is well written and the sound is in your usual levels, I have no choice but to place you in the upper area of ​​my rankings.

Nick Soma: Love the tambourine in left channel. I usually hate this kind of songs, but this has something hidden that lets me hear it quiet until it ends. Do not kill me, but you can easily make the cut. Based on this and on the work of the previous round, I keep waiting for something better for next time.

Paco del Stinko: Great Intro!! Your song I found strange on first listen. Should be in the chord progressions. After several times the song has grown on its own rarity and has begun to reveal their hidden musical sense, which I'm enjoying it a lot. Each listening improves their position in the standings.

Pigfarmer Jr: I like many aspects of your entry. The rhythm programming, the robot in the right channel, the text, but other tracks leave this piece in the middle.

Rabid Garfunkel: I really like the ingredients you have chosen to cook this one, however I think the DNA of this entry is weak. Merry findings to learn from them but I miss solidity in the song.

Ross Durand: Thanks for the lyrics translation. I told you in a previous post that I identify with what you tell in your song. The musical way you narrate what is it that keeps me away. The instrumentation is more than correct, the part of the harmonica is fine, but finally I've been a little cold. The final part I think has not been well resolved. Technically, the acoustic guitar sounds awesome. A solid song anyway.

The Tydon Docks: The song breaks like a bulldozer in a convent at the time of prayer, I like that. The guitar on the right channel is a drill. A solid piece of rock and fury to continue NurEining peacefully. Also contains spokenwordbridge!!

Vincent Von F: Giant Step Award of the Week. Congrats. More than acceptable pop song. Nice in its simplicity. A certain Byrds flavor. I especially like the measures before the chorus. With a full band this moment would be a real opportunity to do the big thing. I hope this line continues upward.

Zack Facco: This sounds like a distressed Romanian singer singing his agonies under a bridge. Objective achieved, but for me it has been a nightmare. Nevertheless, I have seen tiny flashes of quality in the chorus.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by BoffoYux »

Looks like this one wasn't up to snuff for the judges - Those are the breaks. Thanks for all the reviews and thoughts on the BYD songs - it's appreciated.
I'm pleasantly surprised at the quality of the artists this time around. Great songs. Looking forward to listening to more.

This Nur Ein we managed to get Scott back in the fold, working with his unique viewpoint on lyrics. It's been fun stretching in a different direction.
Not sure if we will get a NEIN IX out of it this week, but I will still host the Listening Party each Monday at 9 pm EST till we have a Champion.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by furrypedro »

carlo bruno jr wrote:Balance Lost: That organ riff in the left channel really kills me
Thanks dude, I'm glad you noticed the organ (I was worried it might get lost under the mix). It took me about 100 takes to get that right :)
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by JonPorobil »

carlo bruno jr wrote: Regarding the music itself: With exceptions, in this round I felt surrounded by hordes of acoustic guitars. Too many for me. Time constraints probably play in favor of these forces of evil, but I wish more electric next rounds.
And this is why it's usually folly to try to pander to the judges. Unlike Carlo, I really enjoyed the quiet change of pace! I thought this was a round full of above-average songs, to the point where I wound up giving low scores to songs I actually liked just because of how many other songs this week I liked more. Excellent work from everyone this week. I wanted to call out to Chocolate Chips, Rabid G, Levittdown, and BYD in particular for improving from last week (tough break for the latter two).
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by josh »

Haha. Well, even I can't defend my entry this time around, it got what it deserved. However, I would have thought the chorus the most annoying part due to the ridiculous falsetto :-) I'm actually kind of amazed one of the judges gave it a not terrible position (thanks!)
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Mysteria »

Generic wrote: I thought this was a round full of above-average songs, to the point where I wound up giving low scores to songs I actually liked just because of how many other songs this week I liked more. Excellent work from everyone this week. I wanted to call out to Chocolate Chips, Rabid G, Levittdown, and BYD in particular for improving from last week (tough break for the latter two).
My reviews are still a work in progress, but I'm in agreement with Jon, this was an extremely hard round to score for me and the rankings do not truly reflect how many songs I actually liked. While I feel bad that some songs had to end up with lower rankings, I'd much rather have to score a round like this than the alternative so thank you all for making my job difficult and congratulations everyone, you made some great music this week!
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Calliopeva »

Thank you for putting up with me; I am still trying to improve and to learn. I wrote a song for round 2, and will try to post it on that "Nein" section if I can find it. I like writing to a challenge. As to sounding like your grandmother singing....maybe it is because I AM a grandmother, lol. One with a background in church and Broadway show tunes and Medieval ballads for the most part.
Are there any other places to read reviews? Other than the usual "You need some instrumental accompaniment" that is. I >know< that, it is why I bought a guitar....trust me, not hearing it last song only improved things. I hear the music in my head, and sometimes can find partners who can understand where I am trying to go...if you have any suggestions, please let me know!
What about places where I can post my opinions of the songs? Do I just put them here or somewhere else?

thanks!
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by iVeg »

Nein IX is here: LINK

The other judges should post reviews of round 0 and 1. So you should get those reviews yet. Other people MAY post reviews, but don't expect it. They're busy writing for the next round, etc.

Posting in Nein VIII I didn't expect to get reviews from judges, but one of them posted something on every song. That was very cool, and helped me a lot.

It's hard to review a solo singing voice, because there's no context. You can talk about the lyrics, and the melody, but you can only guess at rhythm, harmony, etc.

If you want to post reviews, post them in the thread for that week. [ie This is the thread for IX r1].
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

A few quick thoughts. Over all I liked the entries and thought it was a good round. I liked most of these songs better than my own.

Adam Adamat - I liked the music to start, the vocals startled me just a bit but I have no idea why. I liked listening to this, the doubled vocals worked pretty well. The uke/drums are cool but got old for me. I wanted bass or something to fill in somewhere even though I agree the sparse arrangement works very well.

Balance Lost - Bass seems a bit muddy to me (did I forget to balance my low end again?) I'm not a big fan of the rap verses (or rap in general), but this seems to work pretty well. Not in my top ten but I don't dislike it as much as my bias would indicate I should.

Boffo Yux Dudes - I liked the beginning bit and it started off fine. It kind of got old for me before too long although I liked the pad you used to fill it out. After the ratings I'm surprised that this one was so low, although I haven't heard all the entries yet.

JoAnn Abbott - (My player is using the ID3 tags, I forget what you entered under.) I didn't much care for the melody and of course it could have benefitted from accompaniment. Go get Band In The Box or something.

Cavedwellers- What a great band name for the song title. I liked the melody and the rhythm seemed to work very well. Of course, the second voice was too cute. Worth another listen, I liked it well enough.

Chocolate Chips - I don't particularly dislike anything about this, but it doesn't stand out. I know that isn't helpful at all, but I seriously have nothing constructive to say at all.

Cookie Blue - I like the somehow upbeat feeling (due to rhythm?) even though it seems like a downer of a song. Some midrange in there is bothering my ears, but my ears aren't working as well as they should, either.

DJ Ranger Den - The layered vocals almost sound like the three witches around the pot in the Shakespeare play (Fiddler On The Roof? I forget. I'm not a big shakespeare fan.) I'm not sure that works or not.

Ghostpup- Defeateeeeed. The growly vocals and the almost backwards vocal in the beginning layers was kind of cool. That low end was cool, too. Somehow the witches from DRD would make me happy right here as the back up singers. Finally the guitar.... is that backwards? That's killer. Best bit in my opinion. Not enough, though. I want more. Can you tell I'm biased toward six strings?

Inflatable Vegetables- Woudn't play for me, sorry.

Ken Mahru- Sounds like something I would do to start, that's not a good sign. Of course I'm not doing what I normally do so far,
erm? I like this. Definitely not a good sign for you.

Kraut Kitten- I like this. One of my favorites. Especially when the guitars got in there after 2:00.

Levitt Down- Sad song. Not a bad one, either. It probably could do with some production to dress it up for a wider audience, but I like it well enough. The two narrators thing.....

Ligers With Attitude- Right down Pigfarmer's alley. More bluegrass than hickabilly, but it was a nice change for these old ears. Move over NPR, it's time for the old timey song sharing hour.

Manhattan Glutton- Another one I like. Didn't grab me as much at first, but it sunk in and got my happy synapses a firing before too long. I like the melody and the rhythm quite a bit.

Merisan- The intro rhythm reminds me slightly of a live version of "I don't live today" by the Experience. Which is an odd association once the vocals come in, which I like. Nice doubling fills them out nicely. Another good song. Solid pop sensibilities in a non-pop song, melody, vocal doubling and the arrangement to an extent.

Nick Soma- Has a Canadian folk element to it for me. Not necessarily a good thing, but it didn't ruin the song for me. Worked well enough.

Paco Del Stinko- I expected a harder edge once the accompaniment came in, but this works pretty well. Kind of like a laid back version of a sinister theme from a dramatic scene in a movie.

Rabid Garfunkel- Didn't grab me, but I liked the overlapping vocals.

Ross Durand - I like the melody and arrangement well enough. Don't know what you're trying to say, though. Seems preachy even though it isn't being particularly partisan. Maybe I should like it more than I do.

The Tydon Docks- I like guitars. I work for the Laaaaawd! For some reason I like this.... attidude, maybe?

Vincent Von F- Not bad at all for a couple guitars and vox and a tambourine. I like it well enough.

Zack Facco- A bit muddy especially in the low mids, It's okay, but doesn't stand out for me especially with so many good entries.
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Re: Nur Ein IX- Round One

Post by JonPorobil »

More fleshed out reviews. A couple of overall notes: Thank you to everyone who posted their lyrics. In this round especially, it made a lot of difference. Also, almost everyone had improved their vocals over last week. This was a positive step for most of you, and it made picking favorites quite a bit harder. A lot of songs about lighthouses, and nary a They Might Be Giants reference!

Anyway, I listened to these in reverse alphabetical order, so as to give Zack a fair shot. Didn't wind up helping him in the end, but at least I tried. This was mostly a great round, but I'm still waiting for the song that kicks MG's "Full of Courage" out of my head.

Zack
Vocals are all over the place. One minute they're too low, next minute they're doing an awkward falsetto, one minute they're practically inaudible and then they're way too loud in the mix. First impression is really negative on this one, but I'll reassess based on how well the challenge is addressed, if and when I get a chance to read the lyrics.

Vincent
Nice lo-fi neo-psychadelic sound. The mix seems to lack a sense of movement. Adding the tambourine later on helps, but I think the chorus needs something more to really stand out. Maybe some more layered backup vocals?

Tyson
Definitely a strong opening, with the tight scanning of the first few lines and the rhyming of sword with Lord lending it all an air of confidence. I like the blast of guitars, the imagery of an Angel of Death with a chainsaw, the breakdown for the bridge, the genuinely funny spoken-word bit near the end, the interpretation of both the title and the challenge... On a first listen, I had you pegged for the win this round, but after I heard Merisan's entry, I had to demote you down to #2. Still, very well done.

Ross
I love the pacing of this and the take on the challenge. I'm not wild about the on-the-nose lyrics or the line "to which the poor and hungry used to stream" in the intro and outro. From a production (audio fidelity and arrangement) standpoint, this is completely unassailable. Strong entry, top tier. It probably not a winner.

Rabid Garfunkel
Glad I'm listening on headphones, because the stereo field on that xylophone is really interesting. This song is a little rough around the edges, but it really starts to gel when the multiple overlapping vocal parts kick in for the ending. I like how everything else in the mix seems to overwhelm the actual man at the bottom of the well that the song is nominally about. I'm a little bit less sure about how "Your Light No Longer Shines" fits in with the rest of the lyrics, but you took me for a ride, and I appreciate that.

Pigfarmer
Well, this is a bizarre take on the title. Am I missing some 2001 reference built in to the title? I see how this meets the challenge, but not the title. I really would have appreciated some poetry here, instead of the spoken-word take on this story. As it is, it's all plot, which doesn't leave much room for the reflective timbre I would expect from a song. This is more like a sketch or a short story.

Paco
I like the bouncy stacatto like chords. Seriously moody. Nice take on the challenge, especially when the characters get conflated in the bridge. Good lyrics, great delivery, hits a solid groove and doesn't let up. Excellent work.

Nick
Not what I was expecting from you after last week! Acoustic waltz is probably closer to my preferred genre than the pop-punk you turned in for round zero, anyway. There are some points where your voice is mixed a bit too low in the mix, like when that mandolin (hey, look, a mandolin!) joins the party for the chorus. The lyrics hit a very specific emotion, and they hit it well. It's a tad narrow and one-note, but it works for this song. Keep up the good work.

Merisan
This is creepy and moody in a way that I would never have expected from Merisan. I like the doubled vocals throughout. Even though I'm not quite sure what the lyrics are about, it's clear that you met the challenge. This is really evocative and eerie, and it stayed stuck in my head for a while after it ended. It was an easy pick for #1 for me this week. Great job.

Manhattan Glutton
At first, I thought you were blatantly pandering to one of the judges with a breakup/divorce song, but then the song went in different directions. I like how you differentiated your narrators, but I'm not sure about the progression of the story - we go from a breakup, to two friends who've drifted apart, to you complaining about your dad. I would suggest swapping the first two verses, to give it a proper escalation of stakes as it goes. I would also suggest writing a verse for the "Dad" character, instead of just ending on the vocal break. Production-wise, you're at the top of your game and you know it.

Ligers with Attitude
This progression feels comfy and familiar, but I can't quite place it. I have to admit, this is one of the songs I wished I could have ranked higher. I really did like it, but this was such a competitive round that you wound up ranking pretty low on my list anyway. I think you did everything you set out to do here, and I really like the instrumentation (especially the percussion) and the harmonies over the chorus. What kept this from being higher up in my ranks was that it was kind of slight. A little obvious in terms of its interpretation of the title and the challenge.

Levittdown
You replaced last week's seamless blandness with a song that's a little rough around the edges, but evokes raw emotion. I'll take the latter every time, and I think you were one of the acts that most improved from round 0 to round 1. Tough break. If you got anywhere with a round 2 song before we announced the results, I'd love to hear it.

Kraut Kitten
I love that opening strum - is that a bizouki? The groove you get into suckers us in almost immediately. I love the call-and-response in the chorus. You mentioned at one point that you had only two verses, but this version has three. I'm curious which was written later. If it was the last verse, I'm impressed, because those are the lyrics I like best in this song. I had you at #3.

Ken Mahru
"I think I loved her once / Now I'm not so sure." - Yeah, that hit me right in the feels. Musically, this starts off a little bland (at first I thought it should have been a couple BPM faster), but the organ in the first chorus elevates it and it stays lively for the rest of the song. I think the bassline is a bit too bouncy for such a sad song. The solo is nice, but the attacks on the synth seem randomly placed. The last chorus builds to something appropriately epic. Niveous once called one of my entries a "Straight-up line drive," and that's how I feel about this one. I liked it, but you got outclassed by some more ambitious entries.

Inflatable Vegetables
Was this vocal performance inspired by Ween, or what? I like the the triplet-driven groove and the chorus, but the vocal performance in the verses really really holds you back here. If you ever collect this outside of Nur Ein, you should probably change the title to "When Your Light No Longer Shines." It's always a bit frustrating when the title doesn't quite fit the song for one of these competitions. Still, phrasing it the way you did kept it from feeling too "samey" alongside some of the other entries, so props for that approach.

Ghost Pup
I admit, I didn't get the gimmick at first. I wouldn't have gotten it at all if you hadn't posted your lyrics. At first listen, I thought, "This is a little too one-sided, the angel just sings about how Lucifer is defeated for three minutes while someone with a demon voice mutters. That barely meets the challenge." Then I thought, "Wait, is Lucifer talking backwards? Would I hear some other message if I played this in reverse?" For some reason, I thought that was ridiculous, and dismissed it. Apparently that was EXACTLY what you did, but I didn't feel like doing the work to hear it for myself. I mean, props for creativity, I guess, but I don't think you get points for that unless the song itself is compelling and good. I could barely stand to listen to this. At the end of three minutes, I felt like I'd been listening for twice that time. And in order to get more from it, I'm expected to listen to it again in reverse? That sounds more like homework than a fun listening experience. Sorry, but you were at the bottom of my list this week.

DJ Ranger Den
I love the subtle discord to this (contrasted with the overt and extended discord of Ghost Pup's entry right before yours). I also like the multiple perspectives, and the evocative lyrics. I feel like you've used spaceship images in your lyrics before, but it works here. And the song doesn't overstay its welcome. Good showing.

Cookie Blue
I almost feel guilty bashing on this, because it obviously takes a lot of courage for you to put yourself out here, and the emotionality in your vocal performance feels so immediate, genuine, and sincere. I feel like criticism would be kicking you while you're down, or abusing your trust. And yet, criticize I will, because I owe you an explanation for why you were third from the bottom of my list. Your lyrics would benefit from more discipline than you seem to have so far. They don't fit in their lines, and you just kind of let the words spill out wherever. It comes across sloppy, like you couldn't edit your piece, or like you don't know how to sing. I also think that each character in this song is oversimplifying their own point of view, to the point where they all feel flat and unbelievable, which gives me no reason to invest in this conversation between them. I especially lost interest when, during the bridge, the pop star actually agrees with the song's other narrators, "My light no longer shines." Wouldn't it make more sense if that narrator were more defensive? There are times, listening to your music, that I just we might just be at a genre impasse - maybe you're doing what you do very well, and if it doesn't speak to me, then maybe I'm not the person your music is for. I hope you can reconcile that, tap into what you think makes your songs great and worth sharing, and give the world the music you have in you.

Chocolate Chips
I like the moody Beck/Flaming Lips vibe, and the way the music shifts slightly as you switch from one narrator to the next. Acoustic guitar over busy synths like you've got here is one of those moods that seems to shut off my critical valve; the music just kind of washes over me and I lose my ability to pick out things I like or dislike about it. This wasn't my favorite this week (I think I had you at #5 or something, and if I'd had more time to judge, you might have fallen a couple more ranks), but seeing as you were my second-to-last pick in the last round, the improvement here is amazing. Keep it up!

Cavedwellers
I like your lyrics and vocals, which is a little unusual for a Cavedwellers song. The chorus has a strong hook, and I like what you're doing here. I had you ranked a couple notches below Choc Chips, and in retrospect that was a mistake. Ah well, a couple more points didn't turn out to make a difference for you. Is that Django singing the second part? If so, he's a really good singer. Excellent guitar work. Also, the rhythm section is great throughout, but I didn't really notice how awesome it was until the other instruments dropped in the third verse (excellent pacing, by the way). Keep doing what you're doing, because I'm digging it.

Calliopeva
I think there's a good song idea hiding around in here. But this kind of rambles, and of course you have no accompaniment. A band might have helped you stay on rhythm, or in the same key. When the only sound in your recording is two voices, it's really important that they're in key with each other. I could go on, but surely you can hear what's wrong here too, right?

Boffo Yux Dudes
It was refreshing to hear you not trying so hard to crack jokes. Maybe you should consider changing your name? Some sour harmonies kept this out of the top half, but I liked the groove and the lyrics. Tough break getting eliminated on one of your best songs, and my sympathies for all the other bad stuff that happened to you this week. If you wrote a round 2 song, I'd still like to hear it.

Balance Lost
From that violin opening through the rap-sung first verse, I was taken in. The groove here is great, and it's catchy as all get out. I had you fairly high in my rankings, but I was a little surprised to see that you got the win. I mean, the execution on this is top-notch, but at the end of the day, it's a song about light bulbs. But on the other hand, dancing to this is almost an involuntary reaction, the groove is so well-done. And most of the jokes land.

Adam Adamant
Hey, the ukulele sounds in tune this week! Way to go! I like that your arrangement is much more minimalist than your usual. The vocals are pretty spot-on in the first verse, but then you lift it up an octave for the second, and it sounds a lot shakier in that register. I get that you did this to differentiate between the two narrators, but I would advise against it in the future. The fake drums are fine most of the time, but when you start deploying those crashes in the bridge, their fakeness (and quiet level in the mix) becomes distracting. I thought you had better percussion patches than that? Ah well.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
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