Nur Ein X - Round Zero

There can be only one.

Moderator: Mods

frankie big face
Zora
Posts: 1781
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:26 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Bass, Guitar, Saxophone, Flute, Keyboard, Violin, Other Stuff
Recording Method: Logic, UAD Apollo Twin, aging iMac
Submitting as: frankie big face
Location: Lancaster, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby frankie big face » Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:39 am

j$ wrote:atlm - Pretty. It has the ring of a cabaret performance of a Sondheim musical. By a drag queen, or ageing starlet with mascara running down their face. That's a compliment, I think. However I don't think even Sondheim would dare write the words in that B section. A nice end to the round (is it really there because a-grave is considered to be the alphabet starting again)? Yeah, pleasant; but you're lucky you have a vocalist who could sing their shopping list and make it sound entertaining. Them's some clunky clunky words.


Yeah, that "à" at the end of the alphabet thing is a bunch of crap! I told Erik that was a good name because he'll be first in the phone book when people look up pretentious indie jazz artists.

I really like singing this style. (I called it bossa, but Erik says it's a 3/2 samba because bossa is always in 4.) I'm glad you liked my understated performance.
User avatar
à tous les monsieurs
A New Player
Posts: 23
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2015 4:09 am
Instruments: plucked strings, administration, coercion
Submitting as: à tous les monsieurs
Location: Lancaster, PA USA

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby à tous les monsieurs » Wed Apr 22, 2015 10:25 am

frankie big face wrote:
I really like singing this style. (I called it bossa, but Erik says it's a 3/2 samba because bossa is always in 4.) I'm glad you liked my understated performance.


Actually, now that I think about it, samba is probably not the best term. The few jazz charts I have seen that use this groove say slow samba in 3. I don't think that is right. To make the issues more confusing, bossa charts in the US are written in 4 but are clearly felt in 2.

The pattern I am playing most likely a bossa (which is a two bar pattern in 2) with the first beat of the second bar removed.

This is probably not the kind of thing anyone cares about. But I just want to clarify in case there is a Baden-Powell or Jobim scholar waiting to call me out.
frankie big face
Zora
Posts: 1781
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:26 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Bass, Guitar, Saxophone, Flute, Keyboard, Violin, Other Stuff
Recording Method: Logic, UAD Apollo Twin, aging iMac
Submitting as: frankie big face
Location: Lancaster, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby frankie big face » Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:21 pm

Oh believe me Erik, there is. There is.
User avatar
Generic
Princess Zelda
Posts: 5421
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass
Recording Method: Cubase 5AI, Cubase 6
Submitting as: Jon Eric, Hunky
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Generic » Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:04 pm

Round Zero Reviews!
I am a judge, but I'm not the only judge, so bear in mind that my opinion doesn't necessarily reflect on anyone else.

In theory, Round 0 has more than 25 entrants, and the purpose of this round is to narrow the field to 25. In practice, there are hardly ever that many entries, so Round 0 seldom has eliminations. For a lot of competitors, this is kind of a "warm-up" or "throat-clearing" round, and I get that sense from many of these songs. Some of them have sloppy mistakes that shouldn't make it to a final draft, like missed notes in the melody or harmony. Others experimented with genre, or just got "silly."

I'm looking forward to hearing what you all bring to the table when Round 1 begins, and actual eliminations are on the line. Now, without further ado, here are some reviews!

À Tous Les Monsieurs
Hearing Frankie's voice on this momentarily confused me (especially because he went so bombastic with his solo entry, so I thought he was just using this moniker to showcase his softer side), but once we settled that, I enjoyed this pretty much without reservation. Other reviews have pointed out that the lyrics are "too" poetic, but it's right up my alley, so maybe I just have a soft spot for purple poetry. I like the jazz groove on the guitar and the brushed drums. All the instruments are really well played, and your singer is one of the best I know of. I have no complaints about this. It was my #1 pick.

Adam Adamant
The uke is played really well, and this is a huge improvement from previous Adam Adamant entries. I was sorely tempted to give you a better score just based on improvement, but there were too many better songs. What kills this are the vocals - they're performed fine, from what I can tell, but they're mixed poorly to the point of inaudability. It's like the uke is right next to me, and the singer is in the next room—and the next room is a steel-walled cell. It's a tough break, because I wanted to like this, and that's more than I can usually say for Mr. Adamant. One other nitpick: for the solo at the end, I count three ukulele tracks. The solo works and it's performed well, but the different uke tracks aren't differentiated enough. Try using different microphones, or different EQ settings, or spacing them out with panning. One is flanged, which is a good start, but not quite enough.

Balance Lost
I like the lyrics, but the structure-to-song ratio is too low. Too much monotony before and after the lyrics. Props for a seamless integration of band name with subject matter. A bit pounding with the synths and the stress on all four beats. That makes it a little monotonous, which happens to be one of my musical pet peeves. Once the song gets going, it's no problem, but it's also not so mind-blowing as to make up for the intro.

Boffo Yux Dudes
I know you're tired of hearing the complaint that you're not funny, but when you specifically brag about going for our funny bones in the lyrics, I think that re-opens that avenue for criticism. The closest thing to "funny" here is the increasingly strained rhymes - they're kind of silly, but it takes more than that to make a joke. You're musically tight, at least. More so than a lot of your previous work. It's kind of cheap Casio tones, but you make it work. If only the lyrics were any better.

Carlo Bruno Jr.
Self-awareness and swagger are your greatest assets here. I dig the psychadelic vibe! This had me smiling start-to-finish. I love the strings in the background, and the "Ooh Ahh"s in the instrumental breaks. Also, thank you for posting your lyrics, as your voice can be a little difficult to make out sometimes.

Cavedwellers
I like how you used the challenge to explain the origin/purpose of your name and use it as a mission statement for your music, too. I love philosophy in song lyrics, so Plato is a plus. The referencing other band names in the last verse was a little too self-referential and bordered on silly. I really like the recursive lyrics "Standing on the edge of under/standing on the edge of…" etc. Unlike certain other judges, I really liked the "What's a shadow?" part. It serves as sort of a climax for the song, which unfortunately makes everything after that feel unnecessary. As a matter of fact, I think the guitar solo leading up to that bit also runs longer than it needs to. Overall it's still a very good song. I had it ranked second place at first, but repeated listens made the length feel a bit cumbersome.

Chocolate Chips
It's only in his head... but with the power of IMAGINATION!! Sorry, I just found it a little corny. The vocoder doesn't sit well with me, but it hardly ever does (good luck to you in future rounds—I apologize that one of my music pet-peeves happens to be a staple of your personal sound). I do like the title being rooted in strong imagery, and the childhood theme is especially evocative.

DJ Ranger Den
This reminds me very much of Laurie Anderson. It seems like you had a couple of different seedlings of an idea, and instead of fleshing any one of them out, you strung them together and hung a lampshade on how ridiculous the result was. In the end, this is kind of a trifle, but it's at least an enjoyable trifle.

DuToVa
Not a bad song, but the vocals are pretty badly off key in a lot of spots. I feel bad for not being able to dig any deeper, but the vocals just absolutely kill this for me. I can't get past it. Sorry.

Frankie Big Face
I get the impression that you weren't a fan of this challenge? It's a weird genre shift for you, but to your credit, you sound comfortable in this mode (as in, if I didn't know Frankie Big Face already, I wouldn't be able to tell that you don't usually do psychadelic techno-influenced heavy-on-the-bravado songs like this). It gets a bit repetitive in the middle. Blending the two musical parts together livens it up for the ending, but it probably could have been shortened a bit. Overall this is fine, but I'm looking forward to hearing your more songwriterly side in the coming weeks.

Inflatable Vegetables
It took several listens, but this eventually became one of my favorites this round. I love the melancholy in the lyrics, contrasting with the narrator's supposed happiness in the chorus. The opening verse, it seems, it about diving into a swimming hole, but the early lines describe it as menacing, and the act of falling from a height makes the whole thing seem melancholy - at first I thought it was a description of a suicide! This melancholy permeates the three happy vignettes that comprise your verses. I also like the guitar intro/interlude, though I do think it would have been savvier to write something different for a coda.

Ken Mahru
I like this implementation of the challenge. The lyrics overall are a bit melodramatic, but in retrospect this title and challenge combination sort of lend themselves to melodrama. The guitars chug with urgency and your performances are solid. Strong melody, too. I like that you repeated the use of your name as a structural element in the second verse, but then left it behind in the third. I'm a little disappointed at the vocal delivery in some places. It took me longer than I'd care to admit to realize that the second line of the chorus was "Coming out my corner and I'm ready to punch," and at the end of every chorus, you seem to swallow the word "flow." It's disappointing that a song so high in drama should be hampered by a lack of enthusiasm.

Manhattan Glutton
Are you doing fake handclaps in every song again? Oh boy. "Your confidence is on the table where you left your keys" is a great image, but the transition from the verses to the chorus is a little weak, and I'd prefer to hear stronger rhymes. There's that one pre-chorus line, and then the first line of the chorus rhymes with that pre-chorus line, and the second line of the chorus doesn't rhyme with anything. This would be a nice deep-cut for a theoretical Manhattan Glutton album, but the structure issue interferes with its memorability. It has excellent production values, as usual, and it engages with some of your favorite themes like being bored with modern life.

Michael J. Samuels
Welcome! We call this "guy and guitar" here, or GnG for short. Some people are biased against it, but I don't mind it. Your playing is assured, but your performance evokes a really strong sense of longing and sadness. In other words, you've got soul! I like how you incorporated the challenge, too, "Mike is too plain a name..." I suppose occasional frustration over one's name is a universal feeling. Funny coincidence that you followed another Mike in the list, alphabetically. One of the main things holding this song back in my esteem are some pitchy harmonies. I like how passionate your vocal performance is, but it's really important when you're using two voices that they're in sync with each other.

Mr. Meow
I feel like I owe all the judges and competitors an apology for making us all listen to this and whatever this joker farts out next week. I'm sorry. Bottom of the barrel for this week.

Nick Soma
Unlike certain other judges, I really liked the "chlorinated brine" line. The song has a strong sense of purpose and groove, in spite of most of the instruments sounding obviously fake; you keep it compelling. (note: I hope when you said your "personal challenge" was to do the whole song with that Casio, you only meant for this song. I don't think I could take a whole competition of Nick Soma songs that sound this cheesey). The challenge feels half-baked, as though you wrote most of your lyrics before remembering you needed to use your name, so that last first-person pronoun just changed to "Mr. Soma" instead. That's the main thing keeping this entry out of top-tier for me.

Orange Lazarus
Welcome! I love your band name. The song is well executed, dark and moody, though some of the individual synths get overwhelming at times. You're combining sounds in really interesting ways, so keep it up! I especially like the syncopated thing that joins the mix for the second verse. And please post your lyrics in the lyrics thread!

Paco del Stinko
This challenge played neatly to your strengths, as you've written effectively about dueling identities before. Using both the real name and the stage name was a very creative take on this. Moody, dark, and (unlike a lot of Paco songs) also pretty personal. Well done. I had you in third place.

Rabid Garfunkel
This is my favorite Rabid Garfunkel song of all time. I love your guitar tone, the sleigh bells, the ambience, and I especially like the lyrics here: "Holiday, Funeral, say your prayers, you better run." Such concise language conveying a real sense of urgency and dread. I also like how "Rabid" coincidentally sounds like "Rabbit" in these lyrics, evoking (intentionally or otherwise) John Updike. I'd like to hear more oomph in your vocal delivery, but I still had you in second place for this round.

Ross Durand
Creative lyrics, laid-back folk vibe, nice use of the challenge ("Tell them Ross sent you"). Lyrically, this is kind of a "message" song, one that tries to impart some advice. With lyrics like that you always risk coming across as didactic, but I think the emotionally resonant lyrics (like "two sides of the bed like two sides of a line") keep it grounded. I don't have any complaints on this one.

Touched by "Touched by an Angel"
Man, I thought you were joking about changing your band name. Anyway, this is a really good song. Tight harmonies, and I like the melodica. The lyrics scan nicely, which is satisfying, and the repetition-based structure keeps the whole thing bouncy and catchy. As far as I'm concerned it wasn't until the bridge that the repetition went from being charming to "okay, let's cool it a bit." Too many "very"s. If this is the genre you're playing in this year, I can't wait to hear the rest of your entries!

Toby Roktot
I like the use of your name in the chorus. It's a pretty middle-of-the-road entry. I don't hear any big mistakes, and it doesn't hit on any of my musical pet peeves, but it's also not terribly impressive. I'd be interested in hearing you experiment with other genres. I know it's difficult when you don't have access to a full band, though.

Zack Facco
I like the instrumentation, especially the bass line, and there's nothing really wrong with the arrangement or performance… But this song is just too dang long, and it doesn't have enough variation to justify the length. In fact, I can't think of any reason why this couldn't have been cut to literally half its current length. Other things I've noted: Really heavy stereo separation. All the guitars are in my right ear, all the drums in my left ear. Voice dead-center. This gives it a kind of early-stereo vibe, where everything was hard-panned. There are elements of an engaging and compelling song here. I'm just not in it for the whole ride.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Jon Eric - Get your feel on.
Website powered by Spud's Amazing Website Machine.

Circle of Titles!!!!!!
frankie big face
Zora
Posts: 1781
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:26 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Bass, Guitar, Saxophone, Flute, Keyboard, Violin, Other Stuff
Recording Method: Logic, UAD Apollo Twin, aging iMac
Submitting as: frankie big face
Location: Lancaster, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby frankie big face » Wed Apr 22, 2015 2:30 pm

Generic wrote:Round Zero Reviews!

Frankie Big Face
I get the impression that you weren't a fan of this challenge? It's a weird genre shift for you, but to your credit, you sound comfortable in this mode (as in, if I didn't know Frankie Big Face already, I wouldn't be able to tell that you don't usually do psychadelic techno-influenced heavy-on-the-bravado songs like this). It gets a bit repetitive in the middle. Blending the two musical parts together livens it up for the ending, but it probably could have been shortened a bit. Overall this is fine, but I'm looking forward to hearing your more songwriterly side in the coming weeks.


I actually don't have a problem with this challenge at all. This was literally the first thing I sang one day as a joke. And then I started working on other possibilities and none them seemed as fun or catchy as this so I just said "fuck it, it's round zero" and went with it. I then decided to work in the Stripes tie-in because it seemed appropriate. I like it. Maybe this is my new sound, Jon. Better get used to it.
User avatar
Generic
Princess Zelda
Posts: 5421
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass
Recording Method: Cubase 5AI, Cubase 6
Submitting as: Jon Eric, Hunky
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Generic » Wed Apr 22, 2015 3:00 pm

That's a pretty satisfying explanation.

During the listening party last night, those of us in the chat room thought that the abrupt genre shift and vocal aggression were signs that you were bored, or that the whole "My name is Frank! (ank-ank-ank)" bravado was sort of a passive-aggressive snark at the challenge. Like, "Oh, I have to use my name, huh? I'll use the hell out of my name!" That, and the fact that you initially didn't think your lyrics were worth posting in the lyrics thread.

Anyway, I didn't hate the song, though I did think it took a little while to find its heart. I just thought it was a puzzling direction for you. Thanks for clearing it up.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Jon Eric - Get your feel on.
Website powered by Spud's Amazing Website Machine.

Circle of Titles!!!!!!
User avatar
iVeg
Fortune Teller
Posts: 382
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby iVeg » Wed Apr 22, 2015 3:59 pm

Thanks for your reviews!

@J$: Sorry for nasal tone, wobbly vocals. Fighting a cold for almost 2 weeks now. Hope this week is better, but no promises.
@Jon: Thanks for hosting the listening party last night. I missed them last year due to work.
Jumping from the bridge was hella menacing. It feels like getting hit with a 2x4 in the feet [and butt]. I'm glad I did it.
Proposing was slightly less gut wrenching at the time, but more long term impact :) I'm glad I did it too.
Possibly the longest continuous losing streak at SongFight? [21 in a row]
User avatar
Manhattan Glutton
Zora
Posts: 1500
Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 12:10 pm
Instruments: Angst
Recording Method: REAPER
Location: Madison, WI
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Manhattan Glutton » Wed Apr 22, 2015 4:26 pm

The judges are too generous. Yes, my lyrics are dick this week. I messed with them at the last minute and felt they were better than nothing.
frankie big face
Zora
Posts: 1781
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:26 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Bass, Guitar, Saxophone, Flute, Keyboard, Violin, Other Stuff
Recording Method: Logic, UAD Apollo Twin, aging iMac
Submitting as: frankie big face
Location: Lancaster, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby frankie big face » Wed Apr 22, 2015 4:54 pm

Generic wrote:During the listening party last night, those of us in the chat room thought that the abrupt genre shift and vocal aggression were signs that you were bored, or that the whole "My name is Frank! (ank-ank-ank)" bravado was sort of a passive-aggressive snark at the challenge. Like, "Oh, I have to use my name, huh? I'll use the hell out of my name!" That, and the fact that you initially didn't think your lyrics were worth posting in the lyrics thread.


Well yes, all those things are also true.
User avatar
Pigfarmer Jr
Fortune Teller
Posts: 352
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:13 am
Instruments: Guitar
Recording Method: Br-900CD and Reaper to mix
Submitting as: Pigfarmer Jr
Location: CoMo
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Pigfarmer Jr » Wed Apr 22, 2015 4:54 pm

Here are some thoughts I jotted down while listening through. On second listen and look I'm not sure I agree with all of them. Also, I didn't pay nearly as much attention to the lyric in most of the songs as I will in future rounds.

Adam Adamant - I found the clear instrument to be at odds a bit with the depth of the vocal. It was just hard to hear the lyric. I'm not saying I didn't like the vocal track, but it seemed a bit out of place against the picked strings. I did like the melody and the tone in the vocal.

Balance Lost - I like the bass and the overall sound of the song. I like the arrangement. Good incorporation of the challenge. I wouldn't say it grabbed me, but solid.
Boffo Yux Dudes - It's hard pulling off an AAAA rhyme scheme much less an AAAAAA scheme. I don't find a whole lot I don't like, but I don't find a whole lot that I'm falling in like with, either.

Carl Bruno Jr. - I like the rhythm and energy and the vocal and the lead lines and… well I like this one.

Cavedwellers - There sure is a whole lot going in there… that rhythm is very busy and something just takes me out of the song a bit. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I think that busy hihat is killing me in places. Liked the guitar lines.

DJ Ranger Den - Creative and more enjoyable (to me, at least) with the ongoing commentary.

DuToVa - Gives me a feeling from the ol' bygone era of classic rock with that organ and repeating bass line. The melody is good but it sounds like you're not quite hitting it… or maybe I just want it to be different and don’t' really like it after all. Naw, that can't be it… can it?

Frankie Big Face - Cool bass, cool vocal… good mix, cool song.

Inflatable Vegetables - You know my biggest complaint is that the bass line sounded like it was gonna go on a step-wise downward walk with a steady chord on top and it didn't. Your song didn't grab me much, but it didn't turn me off either. Sorry, I'm not much help here.

Ken Mahru - I like the drive in the 8th notes and the energy all around. I enjoyed listening.

Manhattan Glutton - I love to rock. Good guitars. When it kicks in I feel no pain.

Michael J. Samuels - I don't know if the doubled vocals were a good touch or just an annoying one. I like the song, the playing, the melody…. I like the harmony lines, but the doubled line… Personal taste, I'm sure.

Mr. Meow - Ummm…. no.

Nick Soma - There is a hint of that Billy Joe guy from Green Day in the vocal of this song which annoys the crap out of me. But I liked your song.

Orange Lazarus - At first I was wondering what church you recorded this in and then I thought that it worked pretty well. You almost lost me on that bed track building but when it kind of settled in and got going it seemed to work okay. Okay I don't really know what the hell that was but I kind of liked it at some points and kind of didn't at others.

Paco del Stinko - Cool guitar line. Solid track. I like the vocal and melody line.

Rabid Garfunkel - Yup, I like that intro and the arrangement quite a bit. The vocal doesn't quite work for me.

Ross Durand - Good performance. Unlike some folks, I'm not immediately turned off with a stripped down vocal and instrument performance. There's a lot to be said for pulling off a song that's showing it's bones. I think you pulled it off. Not a bad song and it works well in this arrangement.

The Chocolate Chips - Nice use of swells, I liked the panned guitar on the left side, the bass line…. the feel of the song…. Yeah, not one of my favorites but I listened twice so I surely didn't hate it.

Toby Roktot - Your church is smaller. Not a bad performance, I liked the rise in the melody but overall it didn't grab me as much as it could have.

Touched by "Touched by an Angel" - Heh. Okay, I liked this song. It's got that bouncy feel that sometimes pisses me off and sometimes sounds good. I must be in a good mood because I liked this a lot.

Zack Facco - Panning drums to one side is very rarely a good idea if you want to get a junior pigfarmer to like your tune. I have to admit it works better here than I would have thought. Guitars on one side, drums on the other, bass and vocal in the middle…. whodda thunk it? I kind of like the melody, though.

a tous les monsieurs - I like the lead line, sparse but tasty. I feel this is a good tune that didn't quite grab me.
Ad astra per alia porci - Steinbeck
(To the stars on the wings of a pig.)
frankie big face
Zora
Posts: 1781
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:26 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Bass, Guitar, Saxophone, Flute, Keyboard, Violin, Other Stuff
Recording Method: Logic, UAD Apollo Twin, aging iMac
Submitting as: frankie big face
Location: Lancaster, PA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby frankie big face » Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:07 pm

Pigfarmer Jr wrote:Frankie Big Face - Cool bass, cool vocal… good mix, cool song.


Thank you! There's actually no bass, per se. All the instruments are guitars. No synths either. :)
orange_lazarus
A New Player
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2015 12:02 am
Submitting as: orange_lazarus

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby orange_lazarus » Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:47 pm

Orange Lazarus - At first I was wondering what church you recorded this in and then I thought that it worked pretty well. You almost lost me on that bed track building but when it kind of settled in and got going it seemed to work okay. Okay I don't really know what the hell that was but I kind of liked it at some points and kind of didn't at others.


Just as a matter of factual accuracy, there are no synths in the song. I do use alot of synths in my music, but this song has none. When ya'll (yes I am southern) talk about the synths, I know exactly what you're talking about, but they are actually a guitar that has been heavily processed. And to respond, I like my songs to keep shifting and changing. Mr. Bungle (especially California) is one of my biggest influences. I try to keep the listener surprised by what comes next, sometimes it works, sometimes not so much, but I try to avoid standard song structure and transitions because I've always liked when a new part comes out of nowhere. That being said, I 100% understand where you're coming from. xoxox
User avatar
josh
Fortune Teller
Posts: 308
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2014 4:43 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Kazoo, Vocals
Recording Method: Reaper, Scarlett 2i4
Submitting as: Zack Facco
Location: Cambridge, MA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby josh » Wed Apr 22, 2015 8:53 pm

@Jon: Agreed on the too long part. This would have worked a lot better at 3-4 minutes. I was thinking about it after your comments. I could have cut out the second part of the verse in the first verse, skipped the second chorus and went right to the bridge and then maybe not have done an extended chorus at the end. I'm so used to writing songs that are too short, I never even considered I might be going too long until I mixed it down and saw the length. If I come back to this one, I'll experiment with that.

@Pigfarmer Jr.: Panning like this is actually really common on older recordings which were done on 4 track (as Jon alluded to). Listen to Beatles or Doors records for example. Not saying it sounds the best, or makes sense in a modern context, only that it's not unique. I'm using a 4 track cassette recorder right now, so it's easier to pull off with bounces this way. Maybe I'll rethink that approach, but I'm liking it right now myself.
Check out my band The Facc-Tones!: https://www.facebook.com/facctones/
noma
Fortune Teller
Posts: 404
Joined: Fri May 02, 2014 12:59 am
Instruments: Guitar, programming, various other stuff
Recording Method: Audacity
Submitting as: Nick Soma

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby noma » Wed Apr 22, 2015 11:49 pm

Generic wrote:Nick Soma
Unlike certain other judges, I really liked the "chlorinated brine" line. The song has a strong sense of purpose and groove, in spite of most of the instruments sounding obviously fake; you keep it compelling. (note: I hope when you said your "personal challenge" was to do the whole song with that Casio, you only meant for this song. I don't think I could take a whole competition of Nick Soma songs that sound this cheesey). The challenge feels half-baked, as though you wrote most of your lyrics before remembering you needed to use your name, so that last first-person pronoun just changed to "Mr. Soma" instead. That's the main thing keeping this entry out of top-tier for me.


It was my personal challenge for this song only, indeed. (I wouldn't dare do that in higher rounds :D) and yes, I'm aware of that problem with the name challenge. You are correct about that, I really didn't know how to fit in my name. Should have written it about Vedic gods throwing a huge party.

Pigfarmer Jr wrote:Nick Soma - There is a hint of that Billy Joe guy from Green Day in the vocal of this song which annoys the crap out of me. But I liked your song.


Yeah, I sound like him all the time. I swear I don't try to, it just happens. Doesn't help a lot that I like doing songs in a pop punk style. :P sorry to everyone I'm annoying with my Billie Joe-ishness. I'm not doing it on purpose, you gotta believe me! :D
User avatar
Reist
Notable Hylian
Posts: 3066
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 2:26 pm
Instruments: Drums, Guitar
Recording Method: Yamaha AW1600, Reaper
Submitting as: Therman
Location: Calgary
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Reist » Thu Apr 23, 2015 12:36 pm

Reviews!

a tous les monsieurs
Excellent & varied melody. Fantastic guitar work. Great lyrics. Wonderful dynamics. A little long.

Adam Adamant
Good melody. Could step up production. At least blend the instrument and your vocals so it sounds like they're being recorded in the same room. I enjoy it, but I feel like if you want to get past the first few rounds, you'll need to step your production game up.

Balance Lost
'You left a mark on the ground where you were found'. Great line. I enjoy this, but the ticking synth sound gets tired as the song goes on. Not to mention that it gets off balance with other elements later in the song and confuses my brain. Maybe that's a subtle play on your band name? Still good.

Boffo Yux Dudes
Self-referential lyrics are good, but if you want to be the comedy group, you'll want to be like ... super funny. To your credit, this song has a strong hook, but the vocals are just too shaky for me to get into it.

Carlo Bruno Jr.
Good mix and melody. Those drums at the end are suuuuuuper prog. Vocals are Clashy. Enjoyed it.

Cavedwellers
Good voice. For some reason the compression on the kick is whomping in my headphones. Might be the mix, might be my discount headphones. Good production, but so many kicks in the beat that I can't get into the groove! Still good.

The Chocolate Chips
The line 'Chucky chews the chocolate chips' is strangely satisfying. I'd like to hear it at a quicker tempo with some real drums. All punkified. All things considered, not the all-around strongest entry, but I really enjoy the hook and the lyrics. Bring some better drum samples and a more grooving tempo next time!

DJ Ranger Den
Well, that was fun, with some serious commitment to harmonies on a wonky vocal line. Self-referential. 'Congratulations, you've ruined everything' won me over. The whole thing might be a bit too self-referential to stand on its own outside the competition. But still, good entry. I'm entertained.

DuToVa
Vocals fall out of key from time to time. Organ is a good choice. Would be nice with some bigger dynamic shifts. I'd also like to suggest that super complicated drum fills are usually a little silly when programmed. Not always, but usually.

Frankie Big Face
My old nemesis. I like that you consistently mix things up. Thus far, this is the only truly groovy song. 'My Name is Frank' is a hella catchy line too. I'd angry punch-dance to this for sure.

Inflatable Vegetables
The backing track makes me think of lullabyes I'd listen to as a wee lad. Never thought I'd hear a song that makes it sound like a good idea to throw on a black sombrero and play a cheap acoustic. Good on you for that, I suppose!

Ken Mahru
Award for song that I'd sway to at a show goes to ... Ken! Nice surfy vibe. That synth in the bridge makes me very happy. Enjoyed.

Manhattan Glutton
Your voice reminds me of Mystery Machine. Very 90s-alt chords in the chorus. Then a ... metal breakdown? Interesting choice. Might have been nice to find an instrumental break that would match the vibe of the rest of the song, but I've had the same problem so I feel you. Dig it.

Michael J. Samuels
Nice little guitar lick. Love the vocal effect, as well as your voice. If y'all know me, you know that a sad song always brings a tear to my eye. As I've said in some of the other reviews, you might need to bring more than a guy 'n guitar entry to the game if you want to get to the end of Nur Ein, but hell ... love me a melancholy little ditty.

Mr. Meow
You're probably not going to make it far in the competition, but god dammit, this made me smile. And it does a great job of fulfilling the challenge. More name drops than any other entry, as far as I'm concerned.

Nick M. Soma
Voice is very Billy Joe Armstrong-esque. Could use ... something. Dynamics? A change in the keyboard pattern? Who can really say? Good melody in the chorus, and I really wish I could get past the monotonous production. Good luck in the competition, I enjoyed this!

Orange Lazarus
The first minute could use some variation. Perhaps the melody is to blame. The drums in the breakdown at 1:00 save the song from withering away into monotony. Vocal effect at the end is unneeded. It's very long, as well.

Paco Del Stinko
Nice guitars, as always. Dat bass. Good groove. Don't exactly find the melody memorable, but the guitars keep me entertained. Good job!

Rabid Garfunkel
Nice guitar lick. Vocals are disconcerting, but I think that's what you were going for. Cool sound effects throughout, with slightly weak vocals. Solid entry as a whole, though.

Ross Durand
Good solid acoustic entry. Chorus feels like a cop-out compared to the verses. But still, a good solid Ross Durand track. The flute break made me smile.

Toby Roktot
The chords here aren't really my jam. Nor is the melody. Nor is the lack of production. Wish I could say more, but I'm just not really digging it. I think you could do some cool things if you step it up on the production side of things further in the competition. As it is, I'm just a little bored with it, but that might be because I've just listened to twenty other songs first. Sorry!

Touched By "Touched By An Angel"
Indie cheerfulness. Good harmonies. Good production, decent lyrics. The bridge is a little silly. Good job.

Zack Facco
Vocals could use a little more passion. Or layers. Either or. Chords and melody are good enough. Super-panned guitars and drums are a little distracting. All-around good, but definitely could use some more passion. All sounds a little mechanical.

Good start to the competition, everybody!
User avatar
Ross
Gerudo
Posts: 2730
Joined: Sun Feb 27, 2005 3:27 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Vox, Bass, Tuned glasses, etc...
Recording Method: Logic on a Macbook.
Submitting as: Ross Durand
Location: Orange CA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Ross » Thu Apr 23, 2015 12:52 pm

Holy Cow, it's Reist! The reason we have a Nur Ein!

Nice to see you. thanks for the reviews!
"I don't like this song, but at least it's good." - veGetar Ianra Ge
http://www.rossdurandmusic.com
Toby Roktot
Kokiri
Posts: 124
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2014 6:54 am
Submitting as: Toby Roktot

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Toby Roktot » Thu Apr 23, 2015 1:29 pm

Thx to everyone for the reviews. Most reviews of my song note a lack of production, boring, G&G ...etc.
A little backstory:
I started really getting into music in the '70's when it sucked, for the most part. What I found was the Ramones, Dgeneration, Sex Pistols, Clash (early stuff). So, we all started learning a chord, another, then we stopped at three. That's my wheelhouse. I liked the Talking Heads, Blondie, Iggy etc., but, they were more 'produced'. Well, maybe not Iggy. My point is, I learned and wrote songs I could play. The emphasis on 'I'. Been in bands, still am, love GaGa, but, I want to play my stuff myself. I can do the plugin thing and the garageband thing and the 'other' thing. But, I do a lot of gigs solo....and, I want to be able to sound like my recordings when I'm on stage.
Soooo, I guess if you want to hear big productions.....you'll prolly be very disappointed listening to me.
I love to write, to create something from nothing, to perform my stuff. I truly thank Songfight! And all you guys for being here. For encouraging one to "please be awesome ".
As Popeye says ..."I yam what I yam!!" Thx again, at least I beat Mr Meow....for now !!! LoL
User avatar
josh
Fortune Teller
Posts: 308
Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2014 4:43 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Kazoo, Vocals
Recording Method: Reaper, Scarlett 2i4
Submitting as: Zack Facco
Location: Cambridge, MA
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby josh » Thu Apr 23, 2015 2:17 pm

Oh, a question on the panning thing. I wonder if it would help much to simply narrow the panning some. I've been panning 100% right left other than vocals and sometimes bass, but maybe it would be less jarring to have them panned the same way, but less so. I'm also considering trying to record the drums stereo, but that creates some technical challenges. Of course, there's also the option of using a DAW, but from a writing perspective, I've found it easier to use a four track. And a week is kind of a short time to work up a demo on the 4-track and then do a more produced version on a modern setup.
Check out my band The Facc-Tones!: https://www.facebook.com/facctones/
User avatar
Niveous
Princess Zelda
Posts: 6589
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 6:45 am
Instruments: vocals, songwriting, acoustic guitar
Submitting as: Lucky Witch and the Righteous Ghost
Location: Sunnyside, NY
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Niveous » Thu Apr 23, 2015 2:26 pm

Toby Roktot wrote:Thx to everyone for the reviews. Most reviews of my song note a lack of production, boring, G&G ...etc.
A little backstory:
I started really getting into music in the '70's when it sucked, for the most part. What I found was the Ramones, Dgeneration, Sex Pistols, Clash (early stuff). So, we all started learning a chord, another, then we stopped at three. That's my wheelhouse. I liked the Talking Heads, Blondie, Iggy etc., but, they were more 'produced'. Well, maybe not Iggy. My point is, I learned and wrote songs I could play. The emphasis on 'I'. Been in bands, still am, love GaGa, but, I want to play my stuff myself. I can do the plugin thing and the garageband thing and the 'other' thing. But, I do a lot of gigs solo....and, I want to be able to sound like my recordings when I'm on stage.
Soooo, I guess if you want to hear big productions.....you'll prolly be very disappointed listening to me.
I love to write, to create something from nothing, to perform my stuff. I truly thank Songfight! And all you guys for being here. For encouraging one to "please be awesome ".
As Popeye says ..."I yam what I yam!!" Thx again, at least I beat Mr Meow....for now !!! LoL


One of the most important things in life I've found is being yourself and being happy with that. You keep doing you, Mr. Roktot. I salute you.
"I'd like to see 1984 redubbed with this in the soundtrack."- Furrypedro.
NUR EIN!
X-Tokyo
Lucky Witch and the Righteous Ghost
j$
Princess Zelda
Posts: 5032
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:33 am
Instruments: Bass, keyboards, singin', guitar
Submitting as: Johnny Cashpoint
Location: London, Engerllaaannnddd
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby j$ » Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:11 pm

what Niv said.

As I said to Touched by a Paedo Angel, it's all a question of how you define 'success'. If you honestly like your own output, then tbh you've won everything already.
Lester Bangs is still dead.
User avatar
iVeg
Fortune Teller
Posts: 382
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby iVeg » Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:14 pm

@Toby - If I was playing solo, I would be writing solo music, too. Keep looking for the songs that touch the people you sing for, and keep writing that.
Possibly the longest continuous losing streak at SongFight? [21 in a row]
User avatar
Pigfarmer Jr
Fortune Teller
Posts: 352
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2009 6:13 am
Instruments: Guitar
Recording Method: Br-900CD and Reaper to mix
Submitting as: Pigfarmer Jr
Location: CoMo
Contact:

Re: Nur Ein X - Round Zero

Postby Pigfarmer Jr » Thu Apr 23, 2015 3:15 pm

orange_lazarus wrote:Just as a matter of factual accuracy, there are no synths in the song. I do use alot of synths in my music, but this song has none. When ya'll (yes I am southern) talk about the synths, I know exactly what you're talking about, but they are actually a guitar that has been heavily processed. And to respond, I like my songs to keep shifting and changing. Mr. Bungle (especially California) is one of my biggest influences. I try to keep the listener surprised by what comes next, sometimes it works, sometimes not so much, but I try to avoid standard song structure and transitions because I've always liked when a new part comes out of nowhere. That being said, I 100% understand where you're coming from. xoxox


Yeah, I used "bed track" rather than "synth" on purpose. But that's a good explanation so thank you for that.
Ad astra per alia porci - Steinbeck
(To the stars on the wings of a pig.)

Return to “Nur Ein”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests