Re: Nur Ein X - Round One
Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 2:35 pm
Judge reviews! Sorry for the delay in posting these. Been writing them between work duties.
Overall comments… There was some unfortunate repetition this in the lyrics this week. I guess that's nobody's fault, really. I didn't think there would be this many competitors who would choose to sing about a literal circus. I tried really hard not to hold it against anyone when they used the same images as another song in the competition. As for the challenge: There was only one competitor that I thought outright failed to meet the challenge. Everyone else passed, but I gave partial treatment to those whose challenge implementations 1.) were evident to the listener without having to be explained, and 2.) benefited the song, rather than feeling like the song had to accommodate them. The best uses of the challenge in this regard (IMO) were DJ Ranger Den and Inflatable Vegetables.
Without further ado, here are some reviews!
à tous les monsieurs
Some of the circus stuff was a little on-the-nose (there's a lot of that going around this week). The drums are really good, but they also get repetitive; it could have used some more pattern variation, particularly in the B section. I enjoyed this, but not as much as last week's effort. Three relatively minor negative things stand out to me on repeated listens: 1.) The awful, awful French; 2.) The strangely pro-animal-abuse lyrics; 3.) The weirdly repetitive band-drop over that trumpet riff. Dropping the band is a cool trick the first time, but it gets old fast. Like I said, it's an overall very accomplished song, but these nitpicks really bug me.
Adam Adamant
I... like this? Yeah, I like an Adam Adamant song! Good vocals, good use of garbage percussion, the uke is in tune and well played, and it just—this is hard to explain—feels like a complete song, like a fleshed out idea! Did you get a new uke sometime in the last year, or are you just doing a better job of tuning it between each take? You've had tuning issues in past competitions, and they seem to be gone now, which does wonders for your presentation. I like how your garbage percussion sounds varied, but also controlled. You're not just wildly banging on things, but making a pattern that holds down the rest of your song. I also think your vocals have improved, and you gave the song a proper ending, too! Keep it up!
Balance Lost
The first minute or so made me think you'd heard my complaint about the thumpy-droney intro last week, and decided to double down on it just to annoy me. Anyway, after the first minute, the acoustic guitar kicks in and the song starts in earnest, and it's one of the better Balance Lost songs I've heard. I like the rhymes, the structure, the instruments, the percussion sounds, and the mix. The resampled rubber band instrument solo really push this over the edge, and that snare sound in the outro is awesome too. I had you at #2.
Boffo Yux Dudes
Unlike a lot of previous Boffo Yux songs, I can actually identify the jokes, even though most of them still don't land. Using a Patton Oswalt sample just invites an unflattering comparison. I admit, the line about the minivan earned a chuckle from me, and the "Prog Rock Drum Solo" made me smile when it dawned on me that you were probably just jamming random keys on your keyboard's "percussion" setting. It's really unfortunate that there were like four songs with the exact same approach, right down to identical lines about not getting refunds. I'm trying not to hold it against any individual song, but it sadly doesn't do any of them any favors. I actually laughed more as Ross' "Whoopee" than I did at anything in this entry. On the plus side, the music is improved over last week, and the vocals are way improved over last week. Making your song overtly parodic seems to have given you some focus. Also, I like the texture the organ lends to the song.
Carlo Bruno Jr.
I was having a harder time than usual understanding your lyrics here, so thank you for posting them. Really trippy and interesting. Dystopian lyrics, enforced mediocrity. Reminds me a little of "Harrison Bergeron" by Vonnegut. There's a fine line between a phrase being weird because it's lyrical and it being weird because the lyricist isn't working in his native language. I think you pushed that line a bit, because "Holy Middle of the Pack / As gray as much we can" feels awkward.
Cavedwellers
I had to pause the song and hum that guitar lick to myself before I figured out why it sounded so familiar. "In a Big Country," by Big Country. It's just barely different enough for me not to cry "rip off." It was a catchy riff then, and it's still catchy now. I'm also hearing shades of ELP, which might be intentional, or might be a side effect of any prog-rock song with a carnival atmosphere. This actually gets away with appropriating the circus theme, in my opinion, because it modulates the familiar music into an unfamiliar mode. I wonder if the aspects of this song I dislike are the same ones that make it creative. The time signature changes in the chorus are probably the most creative part of this song, and I don't want to only reward the immediately accessible, but something about the time sig changes also feel really uncomfortable to me, like I'm being pulled against the current of the song. Not sure how to explain it.
DJ Ranger Den
I like this sad low-key waltz vibe. It's a lot more straightforward and accessible than the usual Ranger Den track. There's something about that AAABCCCB rhyme structure that strikes me as inherently sad (see also), and it suits this melancholy little song very well. Your lyrics scan much more tightly than usual, and the mixing assistance from BLT makes everything sound crisp and in-place, even though it's all kind of mired in a melancholic haze. I'm also really fond of your lyrical interpretation of the title; I expected a lot more entries like this, fewer literal clowns. I had you at #1 this week.
DuToVa
The performances on this are really muddy, like stumbling in and out of sync. I think maybe the percussion is on a loop and the other instruments had difficulty pacing themselves properly to that loop. On top of that, the lyrics are inane, just circus imagery with no real focus, narrative or conflict, and they clash with the mood of the other instruments. It's like the guitarist is thinking he's playing a Metallica song, but the singer just wants to talk about clowns and elephants. Sometimes a contrast like that can add an ineffable quality to a song, but I didn't get the impression that the contrast was something you were going for here.
Frankie Big Face
This reminded me of something by Peter Gabriel. Creative ideas, but the verse vocals seem to be way out of tune with the verse instruments. The "balance on the [noun]" sections are all really sharp. It's so unlike you to sing off-key that I wondered if this was an aesthetic choice. Maybe intended to draw attention to how uncomfortable the bear is? If so, it worked a little too well. Nonetheless, the melody is strong, and it's probably the catchiest section of any song in this round, so I'm almost willing to forgive it. I also really like the chorus and its weird declaration of the bear's Russian allegiance (WTF?). However, I feel like that section needs to be much louder than the A-Section—heck, you can make us turn the volume up to hear the A-section, then get caught by surprise for the fanfare of the villain reveal! Instead, the chorus feels frustratingly subdued. You've been doing this a lot longer than I have, so you'd probably be better able to diagnose the problem than myself, but if I had to guess, I'd say maybe there's a compressor on your master track, and it's configured too aggressively?
Inflatable Vegetables
On a first listen, I wrote "This isn't top-tier, but at least it's fun!" All the sound effects contribute to that carnival atmosphere, and it probably all adds up to the closest approximation of what I thought we'd be getting when we issued this title and challenge. The garbage instruments create a surprisingly tight ramshackle groove that suits the subject matter nicely. I like that, instead of focusing on the performance aspect of the circus, you sang from the point of view of the carnies, setting up and tearing down, just trying to do the best they can. Yes, it's also an obvious metaphor for the band (and with the mention of their critics, probably for Nur Ein, as well), but I don't mind that very much. Maybe it's because you sound like they're genuinely having fun with this song, and that feeling shines through the recording. To my surprise, on repeated listens, this "not top-tier" song vaulted up to my #4 slot.
Ken Mahru
I guess I should have figured we'd be hearing a lot of fake calliope music. It's mixed well and somewhat subdued in the mix, so it's not obvious, like "HEY, LOOK, IT'S A CIRCUS!" The vocals are a little low in the mix, just like last week; in fact the problem is a little worse this week.
At first I thought you sounded bored (or like you were maybe fighting off a cold), but this grew on me a little. I like the phrasing of the melody in the chorus, and I appreciate that you didn't take the title literally.
Manhattan Glutton
A fun mix, which hints at the title in a way that the actual lyrics don't. At first I wasn't sure about your take on the title, but then I figured it was better than yet another song about trapeze artists and lion tamers. I do wish the lyrics mentioned which state Circus is in, but no big deal. I really dig the combination of the bridge and intro vocal parts at the end, adding to the catchiness, and that trashcan kick drum is pretty tasty too. The part about the corn subsidies in the chorus strikes me as a half-baked attempt to make the song more "serious," which doesn't quite work, but overall this is a strong effort.
Michael J. Samuels
I appreciate that you managed to incorporate a trashcan instrument without compromising the stripped-down vulnerability that made your song from last week so charming. I do wish the thumping varied its rhythm throughout the song a little. It gets monotonous by the halfway point.
Mr. Meow
Sorry, kids, we had to put him down.
Nick M. Soma
The paper percussion rocks. I like the pacing, and how the whole band kicks in when the lead vocal soars to the higher register. This is the most impassioned delivery of the word "Meh" I've ever heard. Singing from the point of view of an alien was inspired choice. I wasn't entirely clear on whether the "circus" was referring to a literal Earth circus, or if they just think of our whole planet as a circus. That's a minor nitpick. I had you at #3 on my list this week.
Paco del Stinko
The vibe here is a bit more relaxed than the average PdS joint, and it's nice. Lower tempo, undistorted guitar. That homemade kazoo is awesome. Some of the lyrics are downright surreal. Swahili? Ginger Champagne? What is going on here? (I just noticed some impressive grouping in the score card - 3 out of 5 judges gave you exactly 15 points this week!)
Rabid Garfunkel
The vocals on this one sound a lot like Spud, which is pretty cool. I like the chugging guitar sound and the trashy drum loop. Sounds like you took our advice and stopped "whispering" into the mic, but now your limited vocal range is apparent here. I'm trying to figure out whether the lyrics and guitar work make up for it. Yes, the lyrics and guitar work do make up for it. I like the dystopian take on the lyrics and the "We're all on borrowed time" ending.
Ross Durand
The lyrical approach here is pretty predictable (lots of that this week, sorry to say), but the instrumentation, including and especially the garbage instruments, are terrific. I laughed when I got to the end of the first chorus and heard that the payoff was "...whoopee." I wish there had been some creative way to string out that reveal a little longer, or make it something different at the end of each chorus, so that it wasn't the same "whoopee" four times. I really like your garbage instruments, and your melody is strong. The chorus is a little weak, lyrically - the words scan a awkwardly, making it hard to sing along to, and "when you divide three by three" seems shoehorned in for the sake of the rhyme. I guess those quibbles hurt your rank, but not by much.
Chocolate Chips
This song lives and dies by its melody, it's that good. Once in a blue moon, you manage to deploy that vocoder in a way that doesn't annoy me. This might be one of those time. It complements the funk groove really well here, and it makes those sixth-interval jumps in the melody feel ethereal. I'll need some time with these lyrics, because I think there might be something going on which I didn't catch on the first listen. The funk groove works, too. This might be my favorite Chocolate Chips song ever.
Toby Roktot
Like Ross' song, this one doesn't have much unexpected in the lyrical department. I'm normally not very biased against guy-and-guitar stuff, but this bores me. That verse pattern you keep picking out on the guitar drones on with little variation, and vocals sound kind of sleepy. I also dispute the challenge implementation, as that newspaper was a sound effect illustrating a lyric; it wasn't used as an instrument.
Touched by "Touched by an Angel"
Not sure what's up with the Avengers trailer sample there, other than the "assemble" pun (by the way, how does one person "assemble?"). Your flow is surprisingly tight, and a couple of the lines are clever, but mostly these disses are just lazy. "Carlo Bruno, your song just sucks." Yeah, not exactly a "sick burn," brah. Only a couple of these jokes land at all, and that straight-up kills this song for me. Plus Paco did this gimmick better last year with his "The New Ugly." I did chuckle when you couldn't find anything mean to say about à tous les monsieurs ("yeah, that song's pretty good"). Not bad for your first time ever rapping. Your flow is good; content was lacking. Next time the Frontalittle Squad reunites, we'll have to keep you in mind.
Overall comments… There was some unfortunate repetition this in the lyrics this week. I guess that's nobody's fault, really. I didn't think there would be this many competitors who would choose to sing about a literal circus. I tried really hard not to hold it against anyone when they used the same images as another song in the competition. As for the challenge: There was only one competitor that I thought outright failed to meet the challenge. Everyone else passed, but I gave partial treatment to those whose challenge implementations 1.) were evident to the listener without having to be explained, and 2.) benefited the song, rather than feeling like the song had to accommodate them. The best uses of the challenge in this regard (IMO) were DJ Ranger Den and Inflatable Vegetables.
Without further ado, here are some reviews!
à tous les monsieurs
Some of the circus stuff was a little on-the-nose (there's a lot of that going around this week). The drums are really good, but they also get repetitive; it could have used some more pattern variation, particularly in the B section. I enjoyed this, but not as much as last week's effort. Three relatively minor negative things stand out to me on repeated listens: 1.) The awful, awful French; 2.) The strangely pro-animal-abuse lyrics; 3.) The weirdly repetitive band-drop over that trumpet riff. Dropping the band is a cool trick the first time, but it gets old fast. Like I said, it's an overall very accomplished song, but these nitpicks really bug me.
Adam Adamant
I... like this? Yeah, I like an Adam Adamant song! Good vocals, good use of garbage percussion, the uke is in tune and well played, and it just—this is hard to explain—feels like a complete song, like a fleshed out idea! Did you get a new uke sometime in the last year, or are you just doing a better job of tuning it between each take? You've had tuning issues in past competitions, and they seem to be gone now, which does wonders for your presentation. I like how your garbage percussion sounds varied, but also controlled. You're not just wildly banging on things, but making a pattern that holds down the rest of your song. I also think your vocals have improved, and you gave the song a proper ending, too! Keep it up!
Balance Lost
The first minute or so made me think you'd heard my complaint about the thumpy-droney intro last week, and decided to double down on it just to annoy me. Anyway, after the first minute, the acoustic guitar kicks in and the song starts in earnest, and it's one of the better Balance Lost songs I've heard. I like the rhymes, the structure, the instruments, the percussion sounds, and the mix. The resampled rubber band instrument solo really push this over the edge, and that snare sound in the outro is awesome too. I had you at #2.
Boffo Yux Dudes
Unlike a lot of previous Boffo Yux songs, I can actually identify the jokes, even though most of them still don't land. Using a Patton Oswalt sample just invites an unflattering comparison. I admit, the line about the minivan earned a chuckle from me, and the "Prog Rock Drum Solo" made me smile when it dawned on me that you were probably just jamming random keys on your keyboard's "percussion" setting. It's really unfortunate that there were like four songs with the exact same approach, right down to identical lines about not getting refunds. I'm trying not to hold it against any individual song, but it sadly doesn't do any of them any favors. I actually laughed more as Ross' "Whoopee" than I did at anything in this entry. On the plus side, the music is improved over last week, and the vocals are way improved over last week. Making your song overtly parodic seems to have given you some focus. Also, I like the texture the organ lends to the song.
Carlo Bruno Jr.
I was having a harder time than usual understanding your lyrics here, so thank you for posting them. Really trippy and interesting. Dystopian lyrics, enforced mediocrity. Reminds me a little of "Harrison Bergeron" by Vonnegut. There's a fine line between a phrase being weird because it's lyrical and it being weird because the lyricist isn't working in his native language. I think you pushed that line a bit, because "Holy Middle of the Pack / As gray as much we can" feels awkward.
Cavedwellers
I had to pause the song and hum that guitar lick to myself before I figured out why it sounded so familiar. "In a Big Country," by Big Country. It's just barely different enough for me not to cry "rip off." It was a catchy riff then, and it's still catchy now. I'm also hearing shades of ELP, which might be intentional, or might be a side effect of any prog-rock song with a carnival atmosphere. This actually gets away with appropriating the circus theme, in my opinion, because it modulates the familiar music into an unfamiliar mode. I wonder if the aspects of this song I dislike are the same ones that make it creative. The time signature changes in the chorus are probably the most creative part of this song, and I don't want to only reward the immediately accessible, but something about the time sig changes also feel really uncomfortable to me, like I'm being pulled against the current of the song. Not sure how to explain it.
DJ Ranger Den
I like this sad low-key waltz vibe. It's a lot more straightforward and accessible than the usual Ranger Den track. There's something about that AAABCCCB rhyme structure that strikes me as inherently sad (see also), and it suits this melancholy little song very well. Your lyrics scan much more tightly than usual, and the mixing assistance from BLT makes everything sound crisp and in-place, even though it's all kind of mired in a melancholic haze. I'm also really fond of your lyrical interpretation of the title; I expected a lot more entries like this, fewer literal clowns. I had you at #1 this week.
DuToVa
The performances on this are really muddy, like stumbling in and out of sync. I think maybe the percussion is on a loop and the other instruments had difficulty pacing themselves properly to that loop. On top of that, the lyrics are inane, just circus imagery with no real focus, narrative or conflict, and they clash with the mood of the other instruments. It's like the guitarist is thinking he's playing a Metallica song, but the singer just wants to talk about clowns and elephants. Sometimes a contrast like that can add an ineffable quality to a song, but I didn't get the impression that the contrast was something you were going for here.
Frankie Big Face
This reminded me of something by Peter Gabriel. Creative ideas, but the verse vocals seem to be way out of tune with the verse instruments. The "balance on the [noun]" sections are all really sharp. It's so unlike you to sing off-key that I wondered if this was an aesthetic choice. Maybe intended to draw attention to how uncomfortable the bear is? If so, it worked a little too well. Nonetheless, the melody is strong, and it's probably the catchiest section of any song in this round, so I'm almost willing to forgive it. I also really like the chorus and its weird declaration of the bear's Russian allegiance (WTF?). However, I feel like that section needs to be much louder than the A-Section—heck, you can make us turn the volume up to hear the A-section, then get caught by surprise for the fanfare of the villain reveal! Instead, the chorus feels frustratingly subdued. You've been doing this a lot longer than I have, so you'd probably be better able to diagnose the problem than myself, but if I had to guess, I'd say maybe there's a compressor on your master track, and it's configured too aggressively?
Inflatable Vegetables
On a first listen, I wrote "This isn't top-tier, but at least it's fun!" All the sound effects contribute to that carnival atmosphere, and it probably all adds up to the closest approximation of what I thought we'd be getting when we issued this title and challenge. The garbage instruments create a surprisingly tight ramshackle groove that suits the subject matter nicely. I like that, instead of focusing on the performance aspect of the circus, you sang from the point of view of the carnies, setting up and tearing down, just trying to do the best they can. Yes, it's also an obvious metaphor for the band (and with the mention of their critics, probably for Nur Ein, as well), but I don't mind that very much. Maybe it's because you sound like they're genuinely having fun with this song, and that feeling shines through the recording. To my surprise, on repeated listens, this "not top-tier" song vaulted up to my #4 slot.
Ken Mahru
I guess I should have figured we'd be hearing a lot of fake calliope music. It's mixed well and somewhat subdued in the mix, so it's not obvious, like "HEY, LOOK, IT'S A CIRCUS!" The vocals are a little low in the mix, just like last week; in fact the problem is a little worse this week.
At first I thought you sounded bored (or like you were maybe fighting off a cold), but this grew on me a little. I like the phrasing of the melody in the chorus, and I appreciate that you didn't take the title literally.
Manhattan Glutton
A fun mix, which hints at the title in a way that the actual lyrics don't. At first I wasn't sure about your take on the title, but then I figured it was better than yet another song about trapeze artists and lion tamers. I do wish the lyrics mentioned which state Circus is in, but no big deal. I really dig the combination of the bridge and intro vocal parts at the end, adding to the catchiness, and that trashcan kick drum is pretty tasty too. The part about the corn subsidies in the chorus strikes me as a half-baked attempt to make the song more "serious," which doesn't quite work, but overall this is a strong effort.
Michael J. Samuels
I appreciate that you managed to incorporate a trashcan instrument without compromising the stripped-down vulnerability that made your song from last week so charming. I do wish the thumping varied its rhythm throughout the song a little. It gets monotonous by the halfway point.
Mr. Meow
Sorry, kids, we had to put him down.
Nick M. Soma
The paper percussion rocks. I like the pacing, and how the whole band kicks in when the lead vocal soars to the higher register. This is the most impassioned delivery of the word "Meh" I've ever heard. Singing from the point of view of an alien was inspired choice. I wasn't entirely clear on whether the "circus" was referring to a literal Earth circus, or if they just think of our whole planet as a circus. That's a minor nitpick. I had you at #3 on my list this week.
Paco del Stinko
The vibe here is a bit more relaxed than the average PdS joint, and it's nice. Lower tempo, undistorted guitar. That homemade kazoo is awesome. Some of the lyrics are downright surreal. Swahili? Ginger Champagne? What is going on here? (I just noticed some impressive grouping in the score card - 3 out of 5 judges gave you exactly 15 points this week!)
Rabid Garfunkel
The vocals on this one sound a lot like Spud, which is pretty cool. I like the chugging guitar sound and the trashy drum loop. Sounds like you took our advice and stopped "whispering" into the mic, but now your limited vocal range is apparent here. I'm trying to figure out whether the lyrics and guitar work make up for it. Yes, the lyrics and guitar work do make up for it. I like the dystopian take on the lyrics and the "We're all on borrowed time" ending.
Ross Durand
The lyrical approach here is pretty predictable (lots of that this week, sorry to say), but the instrumentation, including and especially the garbage instruments, are terrific. I laughed when I got to the end of the first chorus and heard that the payoff was "...whoopee." I wish there had been some creative way to string out that reveal a little longer, or make it something different at the end of each chorus, so that it wasn't the same "whoopee" four times. I really like your garbage instruments, and your melody is strong. The chorus is a little weak, lyrically - the words scan a awkwardly, making it hard to sing along to, and "when you divide three by three" seems shoehorned in for the sake of the rhyme. I guess those quibbles hurt your rank, but not by much.
Chocolate Chips
This song lives and dies by its melody, it's that good. Once in a blue moon, you manage to deploy that vocoder in a way that doesn't annoy me. This might be one of those time. It complements the funk groove really well here, and it makes those sixth-interval jumps in the melody feel ethereal. I'll need some time with these lyrics, because I think there might be something going on which I didn't catch on the first listen. The funk groove works, too. This might be my favorite Chocolate Chips song ever.
Toby Roktot
Like Ross' song, this one doesn't have much unexpected in the lyrical department. I'm normally not very biased against guy-and-guitar stuff, but this bores me. That verse pattern you keep picking out on the guitar drones on with little variation, and vocals sound kind of sleepy. I also dispute the challenge implementation, as that newspaper was a sound effect illustrating a lyric; it wasn't used as an instrument.
Touched by "Touched by an Angel"
Not sure what's up with the Avengers trailer sample there, other than the "assemble" pun (by the way, how does one person "assemble?"). Your flow is surprisingly tight, and a couple of the lines are clever, but mostly these disses are just lazy. "Carlo Bruno, your song just sucks." Yeah, not exactly a "sick burn," brah. Only a couple of these jokes land at all, and that straight-up kills this song for me. Plus Paco did this gimmick better last year with his "The New Ugly." I did chuckle when you couldn't find anything mean to say about à tous les monsieurs ("yeah, that song's pretty good"). Not bad for your first time ever rapping. Your flow is good; content was lacking. Next time the Frontalittle Squad reunites, we'll have to keep you in mind.