Nur Ein X Round Five "Two Day Shadow"

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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by frankie big face »

Chumpy wrote: Frankie Big Face
Frankie collaborates with David Bowie and Kim Deal on this one, and it sounds great. Verses are clever and interesting, I especially like the back full of arrows line. Fight requirements met with aplomb. Ask yourself a simple question? Can anybody beat this guy? The tinkly bells in the chorus could have been used more sparingly, at times they are a distraction. No, my phone is not ringing.
Haha. Thanks for the review. Less tinkly bells - check. :D
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by frankie big face »

furrypedro wrote: FBF: The mid-tempo plodding of the verse doesn't inspire me a great deal but the way the song builds gives the arrangement a classy injection of flavour and dynamics. I particularly like the odd sprinklings of synth and guitar.
Funnily enough, I said to Erik (of àtlm fame), "This tempo is going to be a problem; I'm really going to have to sell it." 98bpm is not for the faint of heart.
furrypedro wrote: Balance Lost: This week I wanted to write a song in the style of Playlounge.
I don't know who Playlounge is but, based on your song, I would like to find out. :ugeek:
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by frankie big face »

I love the Balance Lost song so much. My quibbles are no more.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

If I had to rank these songs* I would hate it. There isn't a one I dislike.

a' tous les monsieurs - That drum rhythm, the hihats, reminds me more of some alt country than a early to mid 70's sound (which I was my first thought) the more I listen to it. But it works here rather well. I like the vocals. While not as technically proficient as some of your earlier entries (some by a long shot, some not so long) it is more immediate and I liked that. I'm not sure what the hell you're saying in the lyric but it reads well. I definitely get the feeling I'm missing something. My inclination is to mark my own cultural literacy down a bit rather than the song. *added: That is the same drum (well cymbal) rhythm as on a Six Mule Army song (local band from these parts.) Haven't been around for like seven or eight years. Doesn't mean anything, just thought you'd be interested in knowing how my crazy ramblings fit in (somewhat.)

Balance Lost - I'm a sucker for a cool guitar tone. I'm not a fan of those cymbals kind of muddying up that high range. (Okay, more congestion than muddy.) Makes the mix hard for me to listen to. The song is good though. The first time through reading the lyric I was kind of meh. The second time, better. The third time I appreciated them a bit more. The attitude in the vocal complete them for me. So yeah, liked those, too.

Carl Bruno Jr - It took a bit before the song started to grow on me. I like the melody. Not a big fan of the vocal performance, although I don't hate it. The lyric is a bit repetitive, but I like how the small changes make the meaning (relatively) different. That synth bit underneath… that was a cool touch.

Cavedwellers - I like your take on the title and I like the tone of your vocals. The chorus works really well for me. There are a few times that the lyric draws attention to itself that I don't particularly care for. Catchy, though.

Frankie Big Face - Smooth. Another chorus that I dig. I like the melody and the resolution on the final line. Harmonies are cool. Who uses callow in a lyric, anyway? Umm, guess you do.

Ken Mahru - I like this vocal performance better than your past ones (for the most part.) There is something about the second line of the chorus that just doesn't fit for me. Shadow to showered. Probably just me. I like the guitars, the energy, the keys building at the end of the verses going into the chorus.

Nick Soma - Cool guitars right from the start. Vocals are buried just a bit. I do like them, though. Good performance. I'm digging the vibe. The Him/Her parts were cool, too. Lyrically a bit light, but fun enough for me.

*I had to.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by ken »

Good game all. This song was the one I felt best about, so I'm okay with going out. Fuck all y'all.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Caravan Ray »

Ha! 3 of the 5 judges have burst out of the shed with Songfight! entries this week!
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Caravan Ray »

ken wrote:Good game all. This song was the one I felt best about, so I'm okay with going out. Fuck all y'all.
Fuck you too Ken.

Sad to see you go though - your "Standing on the Edge" has been one of my favourites of the whole shebang. (yes - I would be the judge that gave that one top score)

I liked this weeks (even though the opening chords had me singing "I got my first real six-string….").

Very cool lyrics this week, but you suffered from the timeframe - your 'two-day shadow' is a slow-working ear-worm. And a pretty good one at that.

one critique though - kill the synth. It is too cheesy and adds nothing. The cool lyrics can survive (and deserve) just guitars.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Caravan Ray »

frankie big face wrote: àtlm - The high concept is lost on me - never read Joyce. But Leonard Cohen set to a train beat
Ive read Joyce (hello ladies) - but would never have picked it. High concepts loose me too. Low concepts often confuse me also.

But FBFs "Leonard Cohen set to a train beat" nailed it. I don't actually like Leonard Cohen - but this song was very cool.

Has the relationship between FBF and ATLM ever been fully explained? Did I miss it? I seem to have the idea from somewhere that ATLM are students of FBF . Is that right? Or are you just mates?

Whatever - this ATLM song was cool - and "Byron Bay" by ATLM is right up there as the best of the competition.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Caravan Ray »

frankie big face wrote: CBJ - I'm generally a fan of CBJ, but this song lacks the quirkiness of lyric I so adore and the musical setting is not a good complement to the raspy tone quality of the voice, in my opinion.
I will steal FBF's review again. Again - nailed it. (we are almost like brothers Frankie)

Carlo, your first 2 songs in particular were awesome in this Nur Ein. You were always the one I looked forward to clicking on to hear your latest effort. Love your work. I hurt me deeply to rate you lowly this week.

Please come back again next year when I will be a competitor again and I will kick your Spanish culo*

(*yes - i know I shouldn't use google translate for languages I don't know. I suspect I have just threatened to abuse his donkey.)
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Caravan Ray »

furrypedro wrote:
Balance Lost: This week I wanted to write a song in the style of Playlounge.
I don't know who Playlounge is - but I may have to investigate - because you nailed it.

Apparently I saved your skinny arse last week. I enjoyed that pretentious mishmash you served up. It was fun. And my daughter liked it too. Thank you for justifying my vote and delivering a dead set winner this week. Your best so far - by far.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by Caravan Ray »

Pigfarmer Jr wrote: Nick Soma - Cool guitars right from the start. Vocals are buried just a bit. I do like them, though. Good performance. I'm digging the vibe. The Him/Her parts were cool, too. Lyrically a bit light, but fun enough for me.
Nick Soma
Yep. Agree with that. With the added comment that this really rocked. And sounded like so much fun. yeah - the lyrics were a bit dodgy - but I loved it.

Just as Pedro now knows which judge saved his arse last week - I think you now owe me a beer as well.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by furrypedro »

frankie big face wrote:I don't know who Playlounge is but, based on your song, I would like to find out. :ugeek:
Caravan Ray wrote:I don't know who Playlounge is - but I may have to investigate - because you nailed it.

Apparently I saved your skinny arse last week. I enjoyed that pretentious mishmash you served up. It was fun. And my daughter liked it too. Thank you for justifying my vote and delivering a dead set winner this week. Your best so far - by far.
Thanks for the kudos, chaps. It has warmed my heart.

This is Playlounge - check out the funky vinyl!
https://playlounge.bandcamp.com/album/f ... ai-harvest
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by JonPorobil »

Caravan Ray wrote: I liked this weeks (even though the opening chords had me singing "I got my first real six-string….").
The opening had me singing "Ooh, I didn't want to do it but I got too lonely..." But hey, even Ken's id3 tag reads "Classic Rock," so a little familiarity comes with the territory, right?

I agree, Ken's entry was a good one, and I'm sorry to see him leave. I'll have a more detailed review later.

The same is also true for Carlo. I was one of the judges who have his entry a low rating and contributed to his elimination, but it wasn't because I didn't like the song! We're just at the point in the competition where even really good songs are getting bumped because someone has to wind up on the bottom.

Sorry to see you guys go!
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by carlo bruno jr »

To kick my Spanish Culo is ok and Google Translate is my friend.

Sad for being eliminated but there's a certain justice on it. I've uploaded an unfinished piece. This last entry was possible by miracle. This is not an apologie, but there's less production on this song than previous entries. Skating exhibition of my daughter on saturday. In addition, Sunday was election day in Spain, with much of my interest on see the results as soon as possible, putting my focus on news instead the nein.

As Spain still is poliytically like a banana republic with lots of corrupted politicians stealing massively our public funds and managing the rest as real assholes (and day after day this parameter becomes worst), last sunday we vote for local and regional governments with real chances of change. And finally we do!! Maybe some changes are coming. :D

I'll be on judging at final round.

Also competing next year, to kick back some australian nalgas.

(disclaimer: wroten keeping google translator away)
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by j$ »

OK short-ish reviews this time round as everything 'wise' I was going to suggest seems already to have been said. So prepare for repeatage.

W.A.I.L. I.A.A.C.

All good songs. Before you shout at me, SOMEONE HAD TO COME LAST.

FBF - if there is only one thing Mr Jon Eric and I will ever agree on, it's at the moment you're on a roll, sir. That's been three crackers in a row. I do agree about the over-abundance of bells, although it sits in nice contrast to the tone of the lyric. Wasn't sure until the chorus first time, but damn, that lit it up for me. I don't find the verses plodding - it just needed that cracking evolving chorus to put it into perspective. Great tune and efficient.

ATLM - I think I said 'pre-fight', one of my music mottos is "if you need to explain it in advance, you've already failed in the songwriting". I wouldn't have understood, despite having read pretty much all Joyce there is (English Degree requirement), that reference without it - it doesn't add anything to my enjoyment of the song knowing so. My reaction to the lyric was not so much 'what' as 'why'? Fortunately, the song itself is so damn lovely that I overrode my instinct and moved it up my voting order. Yes, Leonard Cohen. yes to the shuffling beat, yes to the loveliness of the way the phrasing and choice of words complimented the tune. Had you not spoiled the party in advance by talking up how it would be Joyce around the keg, I might even had followed 'wow, I'm gonna have to think/listen for a long time before I figure this one out' and scored you higher. Just sayin'.

CD - I loved the song. Maybe my favourite Cavedwellers song I've heard. I didn't think it was 'monotonal' - it was full of little delights and twists and your vocal/BV work has never sounded brighter or more engaged. But, and it's a big but, which Pete has already pointed out, the passive-aggressive lyric is so f**king whiny, bitter and unnecessary, I don't engage with it. It's like Morrissey before his first coffee of the day and he's left his thesaurus and rhyming dictionary on the bus! It really did spoil my enjoyment of the song and meant you didn't get the top spot. You still did well, so don't get your panties in a bunch (again) :)

BL - you are very very lucky I chose to listen to all the songs a third time before scoring cos on the first listen I just thought 'Oh Balance Lost does Balance Lost song, only this time with medway scene guitars' and almost dismissed it out of hand. There is something of that in this but each time I heard it, it grew on me and moved you further up my proto-scoring-chart. (I don't have a proto-scoring chart, in case you were wondering). It is a lovely, powerful song but with subtlety and some lovely tonal shifts just beneath the surface and I am very glad you're through to the penultimata. Just prove me wrong next time once and for all, will ya, that you're a one-trick pony with a very good trick and a better effects box? Maybe with some music hall or something :)

CBJ - I feel really sad to see you go. I loved the song very much - i think probably the best melody of this round - and the arrangement was cutesy and made me smile. Overall it for me it suffered as it felt rushed (which you have alluded to) and it didn't quite all add up as well as usual and as I said at the beginning someone had to score low.

Nick - I didn't mind this at all. Yes the lyric was fatuous and distracted from the enjoyment of what was a GREAT bit of punk / rock / whatever, really put together and arranged well, but not so much. For me the cardinal sin was it went on way too long for what it was and once it was finished I struggled to remember a hook beyond 'ABOMINATION" ... while that's pretty cool, the more I heard it, overall, the less I got from it. Sorry.

Ken - Again I'm sorry you're not coming with us to the next round. Overall, what I've heard from you this time around has been some of the best work *I* can remember. This was a difficult one for me to place, it could have been bottom it could have been third or fourth, I just decided that, in the end, the progression and structure was just a little too perfunctory / predictable, as well performed and recorded as it was. The lyric was not particularly impactive and it came down to me thinking (massively unfairly and hopefully a reference that will mean nothing to you), 'it's all a bit Status Quo' ... as I said on another evening it could have gone another way ... it probably doesn't help that I am so capricious, right? :) Also - NO, FUCK YOU :)

Anyway, now you can all go and get your revenge by ripping me a new one in the 'Jamaica' fight.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by glennny »

CD - I loved the song. Maybe my favourite Cavedwellers song I've heard. I didn't think it was 'monotonal' - it was full of little delights and twists and your vocal/BV work has never sounded brighter or more engaged. But, and it's a big but, which Pete has already pointed out, the passive-aggressive lyric is so f**king whiny, bitter and unnecessary, I don't engage with it. It's like Morrissey before his first coffee of the day and he's left his thesaurus and rhyming dictionary on the bus! It really did spoil my enjoyment of the song and meant you didn't get the top spot. You still did well, so don't get your panties in a bunch (again) :)
Thanks for the review! Do you always have to relate to the protagonist in a song? I agree he is pathetic, but it was a song about a pathetic guy. It started off about shaving a two day shadow and became more severe as it progressed. I thought it was kinda funny and grew to be absurd. Your points are well taken.

I loved Pete's song the most, I would have had Ken 2nd and Nick next. I loved our song, I'm glad we survived, I'm too close to it to be anywhere near objective. My favorite moment of all the songs was Erik's guitar solo in the ATLM song. Those other former champions did former champion kind of quality songs too.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by j$ »

glennny wrote:Do you always have to relate to the protagonist in a song? I agree he is pathetic, but it was a song about a pathetic guy. It started off about shaving a two day shadow and became more severe as it progressed. I thought it was kinda funny and grew to be absurd. Your points are well taken.
No, not at all - however I would say if you're going to do a 'character' song then the character has to be well-formed early and strongly enough to lead the listener in and through, otherwise it opens the song up to mis-interpretation such as (it would appear) mine. If the song is stand-out like I felt this one was it's just a shame not to be able to engage on the same level with the lyric. IMO, obviously.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by furrypedro »

Because I love talking about myself...
j$ wrote:...Balance Lost does Balance Lost song...
I'd be interested to have a chat with you one day about what a Balance-Lost-song-by-numbers actually is.
j$ wrote:...only this time with medway scene guitars'...
Fuck d'you know about the "Medway scene" ;)
j$ wrote:...Just prove me wrong next time once and for all, will ya...
Nu-huh, and come out of my comfort zone now? You're getting the same ol' shit from me.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by JonPorobil »

j$ wrote:
glennny wrote:Do you always have to relate to the protagonist in a song? I agree he is pathetic, but it was a song about a pathetic guy. It started off about shaving a two day shadow and became more severe as it progressed. I thought it was kinda funny and grew to be absurd. Your points are well taken.
No, not at all - however I would say if you're going to do a 'character' song then the character has to be well-formed early and strongly enough to lead the listener in and through, otherwise it opens the song up to mis-interpretation such as (it would appear) mine. If the song is stand-out like I felt this one was it's just a shame not to be able to engage on the same level with the lyric. IMO, obviously.
Interesting discussion here, especially because two (arguably three, depending on how you construe the POV of Erik's song) of this week's entries were actually persona poems from unreliable narrators. Dang, that would have been an interesting challenge! I'm more on glennny's side of this argument here; I thought it was obvious that the narrator of his song wasn't supposed to be an aspirational figure - we're supposed to pity him, and maybe relate to him, but not envy him or like him.

Full reviews coming soon. They're a bit later than usual because I was separated from my computer for a decent chunk of today.
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by j$ »

furrypedro wrote:I'd be interested to have a chat with you one day about what a Balance-Lost-song-by-numbers actually is.
What you've been doing the last five rounds? Do you seriously need me to map it out for you *again*? Read harder, maybe? Ha.
furrypedro wrote:...Fuck d'you know about the "Medway scene" ;)
That it died when Cuss Words did? Enjoy one half of Slaves ;) (EDIT; Actually that's a bit harsh, as them's not your easty fault. But that's basically what Kent sounds like to someone who will never set foot in his hometown again. Also, funny).
furrypedro wrote:.. you're getting the same ol' shit from me.
Can't f*cking wait. Been a long time since I proper wailed on someone :)
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by j$ »

Generic wrote: I'm more on glennny's side of this argument here; I thought it was obvious that the narrator of his song wasn't supposed to be an aspirational figure - we're supposed to pity him, and maybe relate to him, but not envy him or like him.
Thanks for the input, dear :) My point is the lyric, IMO, wasn't strong enough to make the listener care. Just do your reviews ;)
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Re: Nur Ein X - Round Five

Post by frankie big face »

I'm sorry to see Ken go and I agree these are some of the best songs I've heard from him. (admittedly, I probably missed a lot of good stuff as I tend to disappear in early June and re-emerge in late April)

I'm always fascinated by how far apart the judges can be and it's a good reminder of the randomness of this competition. I'm referring to àtlm being last for one of the judges and high on the other lists. I've been there and it is maddening. Erik is huddled in a corner somewhere rocking back and forth.

Once again, j$ has proven he has impeccable taste. ;) I like winning. Winning is fun. It's even better when the songs are as good as those submitted by Balance Lost and àtlm. Good game, you guys.
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