Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead reviews)

[Lunkhead]

No, this is not about that film series, this is about songs.

[Lunkhead]

Dear hillbilly, if you don't start naming your mp3's correctly from now on I may not feel so generous anymore about fixing that for you and putting your songs in the fights. Sorry to call you out in public, nothing personal, but I wanted everybody else to get warned too. The occasional mistake will be tolerated, but if somebody seems either unable or unwilling to figure it out they will eventually run out of fightmaster generosity...

[glennny]

So how many songs had lyrics written by Niveous?

[glennny]

Good fight everyone! Enjoying all the songs.

Here, Atticus- Wow! That song is AWESOME!

(Ken, JB, and Sam, you already know you're awesome)

[user]

So how many songs had lyrics written by Niveous?

I count ten.

[ken]

Well done Niveous! 10 sets of lyrics (that we know about) in one week is no small feat. Happy birthday to YOU sir!

[Chumpy]

Wow, this fight is packed. I finally got around to listening to them all, and the one that made the strongest first impression on me was from Possum Sauce. Is it the spooky melody, or the way he drawls 'braaains'? Great stuff. I went back and listened to Possum Sauce's only other entry Bully which I also really liked. Welcome back!

I'll start on my full reviews (which is gonna take a while) but I wanted to also give a quick shout out to iVeg, who really brought the rock this time, which also made a strong first impression on me. Nice! BOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW!

[jb]

Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff
Love the chord change in the chorus, for example between the words “wicked” and “game”. Seems to be a clash at the end of the first time through the chorus, between the vocal melody and the arrangement— the arrangement goes back into the groovy verse chords, but the vocals are still ending that last syllable of “eternity”. That’s the only time it happens, because the other times through the chorus don’t end by going back into the verse groove. I like the synth patch, and I like that guitar melody on top near the end, and the vocal doubling works well— “tasted like sugar” for example. Kind of wish for some reverb on the snare, but *shrug*. Overall, nicely done!

Jim Fallope and his Fallopian Dudes
Nice little groovy tune. I like the flute patch and the separated guitars. Probably would've panned the flute a little to one side. I think you shouldn’t have separated the vocals, because when I flip my speakers to mono the vocals go waaaaay back in the mix. Could indicate that it might not translate? This is pleasant to listen to. I could do dishes to this, or imagine myself at a dinner club obliviously having a conversation while you sang this pleasant little ditty in the background, nobody listening to actually what’s in the lyrics.

J. Biveous
This is me doing like, a “hard rock” thing. This kind of crap with all the loud guitars and junk and a hundred vocal tracks is so damn hard to mix. I think I got something approaching what I wanted, within the amount of time I was willing to spend on it. The lyrics Niveous sent had only a few words as a chorus, contrasted with verses that had a LOT of words. Took me a bit to figure out a way to make it feel “chorusey”. I didn’t change any of the words Niv gave me.

Tomdg
30 seconds of noise… boy you’re really testing a Song Fight listener’s ears. I guess that’s the radio mentioned in the lyrics? I kind of like the stomping bass, and I like the melody of the vocal. Overall nicely produced though perhaps pan some stuff just a little so it’s not quite all in the middle? And apply a little EQ to vocal. Ok, a bridge. Lots of words set in a slow burn arrangement, probably needs lyrics that are more visceral, to continually paint pictures in the listener’s mind since you’re serving them up on a platter like that. That would have turned this from a shrug into a vote.

Sockpuppet
Nice keys and well-recorded. Prosody is a little awkward, maybe a little too attached to preserving the rhythm of that line? I’m always in favor of making the vocal sound natural for the words, rather than going all out to keep to a specific melodic rhythm.

Jerkatorium
Fun little tune, y’all. Pan that guitar tho, or do the sample-delay trick to get it out of the way. Can’t really hear the “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em” backing vox. Lead vocal could do with a low-mid scoop on the EQ I think. I really like the guitar lines.

~)*|*(~
Ok spacey stuff… this probably sounds the most strictly evocative of Niveous’s lyrical style of all the entries he wrote for this week. I think I could enjoy this if I encountered it at a live show in the middle of a bunch of other stuff. Or on a road-trip if it came up on a mix, we’d look at each other like “wtf is this” and cut it off halfway through. I do think it’s probably twice as long as this kind of thing really supports. At least, I found myself wanting to stop listening to it about halfway through. The pan-flute kinda thing near the end is interesting, but don’t tease me with a streamy guitar after all that, sheesh.

Hillbilly
Nicely recorded— I know that you’ve been working on that, and it’s paying off in the guitar and vocal sound— and interestingly confessional. Throwing the harmonica and that keyboard patch in is ok, adds a little interest. You panned some stuff, but I think you could be more intentional about what gets panned and where.

James Owens
Ooh a style we don’t hear much. Gonna get back on my “panning” soapbox for this one, but people probably only read comments on their own song so whatever. Pan some shit, yo. Get that guitar out of the way of your vocal. It’s not bad, just a little unnecessarily overlappy in the strum. I think you did pan the solo guitar, so maybe stick the strumming the same distance to the other side. Good job keeping that strum pattern consistent the whole time, and the vocal performance is nice. Pleasant tone to the vocals, and just enough reverb. Feels “authentic”. I like this.

Lunkhead
Lovely production, love the harmony vocals. Could bring the lead vocal forward a little for my taste… pedal steel is nicely applied. Melodies and harmonies are nice on every part, and I really like listening to you sing out a bit like this.

Inflatable Vegetables
BOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. Love that. Dunno how you’re recording these things, but you could probably pass them through LANDR and get some benefit to the end result. I think the chorus could have a lot more impact, and it’s interesting enough to deserve it! Dunno who would have time for it, but it might be interesting to post stems of this track and see if people would do a mix of it. (Not saying I’d have time either, but I might!) Your songs are always at least a little interesting and this is no exception.

Heuristics Inc.
I think you should just go ahead and vocode all the vocals. There’s some interesting motion around 2:26 that I’d like to have heard the whole time. Also, make the drums more of a 4-on-the-floor so maybe my foot starts to tap?

Here, Atticus - FAV
The opening is just absolutely beautiful and made me crank the volume. LOVE the harmonies, and LOVE the brass. Is that real? If it’s fake it’s hard to tell! I’d have split the guitars to make it all feel fuller. Lots of thoughtful panning in general, so maybe that could have been a small tweak. Love the theremin! This is excellent, and too short! I could have listened to this for another 30 seconds easily!

Johnny Cashpoint
When the arrangement has two of the whiny melodies going, it starts to get hard to pay attention to the vocals. The one on the left side is too harsh for me. I like the move to new chords at like 1:38, and the low backing vocals and then more backing vocals heading to the end. Those are kind of fun.

Caravan Niveous
Your vocals sound nice down low like that, and it works when you get growly. The arrangement and melodies aren’t the most interesting you’ve ever done, though I like the faster stuff that starts at 1:14. But the “damn but she was cool” chorus kind of puts the brakes on for me. I think the chorus for my entry might have that problem a little too, especially in the guitar solo section after the bridge… screeching to a halt. Probably should have though a bit more about that. But that’s my song not yours how did I get off track…

Possum Sauce - FAV
When I first started listening I was all like “blah blah you can have the guitar and vocal all in the middle like that, but you should carve out some EQ for one or the other blah blah” then I had to stop typing because the song is awesome. Then I played it again so I could keep typing. I really like the plucky bass. Oh man, and then backing vocals come in, along with a marimba patch! And a dropping-bomb whistle! This goes from “hmm this is ok” to “holy crap this is great” in the space of three seconds. I really really like this. “OOOOOOOH I just wantchyer cereBELLum. OOOOOOPEN and let me inside you…” Really sweet.

G.U.N.S.
Oooh low brass, and then blippy synths. I like that. Hmm, the congas spoil it a little for me… maybe just too many kinds of sounds packed into the whole arrangement? I think you make songs in Garageband right? Is there a vocal preset you could stick on the lead vocals? They’re a bit flat, and I think having more definition would help them in the mix. I like that delay-ey guitar plucking stuff. Ok now a sax patch… this one’s all over the place. I like the groove it starts to built at like 1:35 but it goes away 5 seconds later. Maybe this production is suffering from “too many ideas”-itis.

[Here, Atticus]

Caravan Niveous
Ooh, I like this one right away. Verse sounds really cool. Damnit, this is cool. I might have brought that rhythm guitar up a little more to give the song more impact at parts. I really like all the percussive sounds as the song goes on.

G.U.N.S.
Very eclectic. Very meta? Very prog rock. I'm really enjoying this as it gets going. I like how these parts come together. Love the sax! And the sections right after it at 1:46 into that big progressive riff are my favorite part of the song.

Here, Atticus
Me. With more mixing time, I would have added spooky reverse echo leading in to some of these vocal lines. Sounds really good in my head, believe me. Also, real brass instead of samples. But a man's gotta prioritize.

Heuristics Inc.
Very sinister. Very spooky. I like the rhythmic 8bit things. And the percussive bass synth in the chorus. I would recommend switching up the drum beat a few times throughout the song. When it stays this constant, it can make the song feel very repetitive.

Hillbilly
Nice tune. Very emotional. Vocals are just a bit dry for me, but I love the feel otherwise. The melancholy guitar, the strings, the and oh man that harmonica all do great contributing to the mood of the song. It feels like it ends too abruptly!

Inflatable Vegetables
I like the lyrics a lot! Very well captured by the music. The intro feels awkward to me; it might be the drums, but I like the verse right away. I love the the (pre)?chorus great groove and fun bassline. "don't feel pain when you're dead, someone said. But I don't believe it" is going to be stuck in my head. And the dogs. I like them. BOWOWOWOWOWOW

James Owens
The song sounds really good. The mix is just great. Man, those are some sad lyrics. But the vocal performance is fantastic. The everything performance is fantastic. It's hard to be specific because I like everything about this one haha.

J. Biveous
Good, rocking tune. I love the chorus! The high vocals work really well. This song is a power trip. Just aggression everywhere. I really like that synth in the verse. I think I want a little more drums to make things a little punchier if that makes sense.

Jerkatorium
This is immediately more fun than I expected from a track with this title. What a great change of pace. I might have changed the drums in the chorus a bit more to keep that beat from going so long, but I love it in the intro and verse. The guitar parts are a lot of fun.

Jim Fallope and his Fallopian Dudes
I love the chord progression, first of all. This is so pleasant to listen to. Great vocals. The flute is perfect. I like this song a lot. "soft caress of death" part is really neat.

Johnny Cashpoint
You made me laugh at the library with the lyrics. I like the song, but I need some low end! All those high synths kinda got grating by the end. That all said, the melody is stuck in my head when it's done.

Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff
Great song. Vocals kind of remind me of Mark Hoppus. Love the synths. All of them. This in another one of my favorites this week. I really liked the bridge.

Lunkhead
Really nice song. The mix is perfect. Vocals are great. I'm having the "nothing specific to say" problem again, here. The song is good and I like it haha.

Possum Sauce
A late favorite on the list. Actually, the favorite of the list! Every element that comes in makes me so happy. The xylophone is perfect. The whistles...so spooky! And the lyrics are fantastic.

Sockpuppet
I guess, for the first 40 seconds, I hoped it wasn't going the way it was going. Then I laughed a lot because these are funny lyrics. Good jokes and puns.

~)*|*(~
The vocals are a little hard to understand. The cacophonous sound is a great idea for the mood, but it can be hard to hear the important parts. The lyrics sound very dark and befitting the song. I like the instrumental breaks following the choruses.

Tomdg
I like the vocal melody. I don't think the metronome was needed in the organ section, though. I like the clean guitar fills through the song.

Nick Soma
I like this! I like the bass line and crunch synth sounds. I'm loosing the bass drum in the bass line, though. And that plucked string thing, but I think I would bring it back in the mix a little. Actually, it drops to the volume I wanted at around 1:40. Ooooh and these other synths. Catchy chorus. I just really like the overall feel.

[user]

The pan-flute kinda thing near the end is interesting, but don’t tease me with a streamy guitar after all that, sheesh.

If you want more of that streamy guitar (and pan-flute kinda thing), you can find it in Niveous's "WTF".

[Lunkhead]

Niv, did you actually write lyrics with each recipient in mind that you thought would suit their individual styles...? I guess originally I just assumed you'd just write some lyrics in a vacuum. I'm so impressed! Thanks for putting that extra effort into it. You're amazing!

[jb]

I made a lyric video using stock footage.



Because it was there.

JB

[Here, Atticus]

but people probably only read comments on their own song so whatever

I read your whole reviews. Your feedback is always so specific and constructive, it's awesome. You're awesome.

[jb]

but people probably only read comments on their own song so whatever

I read your whole reviews. Your feedback is always so specific and constructive, it's awesome. You're awesome.

aw, shucks

*stuffs hands in pockets*

*kicks the dirt around a little*

[Niveous]

Niv, did you actually write lyrics with each recipient in mind that you thought would suit their individual styles...? I guess originally I just assumed you'd just write some lyrics in a vacuum. I'm so impressed! Thanks for putting that extra effort into it. You're amazing!

Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. Maybe 60/40. Sometimes I wrote completely in a vacuum because that's just how the inspiration pulled me. Other times, I looked at who I was writing for next and was immediately inspired (example: Caravan Ray's).

[ken]

Niv, did you actually write lyrics with each recipient in mind that you thought would suit their individual styles...? I guess originally I just assumed you'd just write some lyrics in a vacuum. I'm so impressed! Thanks for putting that extra effort into it. You're amazing!

Sometimes I did, sometimes I didn't. Maybe 60/40. Sometimes I wrote completely in a vacuum because that's just how the inspiration pulled me. Other times, I looked at who I was writing for next and was immediately inspired (example: Caravan Ray's).

I was wondering the same thing. Mine seemed a little too much like a love song for you not to be influenced.

[user]

I also felt lyrically targeted. Even if I wasn't, I'm glad I got the "I'm a monster" song.

[jb]

Yah, mine felt like kind of kin to one of my "history" songs like "Wrath of God" or "Listen Close".

J

[AJOwens]

It didn't occur to me at the time that Niveous might have tailored the words to my voice, but as the other lyrics went up on Ye Olde Lyric Archive I marvelled at how sympatico these happened to be. Writing the music felt effortless.

I am amazed by Niveous' lyrical marathon!

[Rudedawg Raymond]

Great tunes everyone. I had a blast listening.

James Owens: I love your voice; fragile, not perfect, but it conveys a lot of emotion. Great song.

Tomdg: like the nasty, distorted guitar (?) intro. Didn't like the vocal sound. Guitar solo's seems sparse. The metronome section overwhelming. Keyboard seems out of place, guitar in this section too. Maybe should have kept drums and bass in there to maintain so rhythmic cohesion. Like the lyric.

G.U.N.S.: Wow. All over the place. Can't really hear the bass. What I do hear sounds overly complicated. That's probably just a personal preference thing on my part; I like simple bass lines. Sounds like a pretty good tune, just a lot going on. Could have used a simpler arrangement (but, that being said, this is about a bunch of dead rock stars of varying styles, so , maybe the schizophrenic nature of the tune is appropriate). I can't help but be reminded of the Righteous Brothers "If There's a Rock & Roll Heaven."


Caravan Niveous: Damnit, she was cool? I suspect she'd give me a never ending panic attack. I can feel myself getting sucked into the tunnel now. Anyone have a Xanax?

Inflatable: Squeezy. Like it. Tight chorus.

Here, Atticus: Love the Beach Boys harmonies at the beginning. I seem to recall I mentioned some Brian Wilson sounding vocals on your last submission. Awesome! Like the synth horns. Is that a Theremin? Verges on the symphonic, with different movements, etc. I think ends a bit too abruptly. Could have put some of that stuff from the beginning back in towards the end? Then, a Big Bang ending. This is definitely in my top three thus far.

Possum Sauce: Really love this. Just enough spookiness without being over the top. The chorus with the harmonies is perfect. Is that a real bull fiddle? This shit's da 'possum sauce.

Ken's: This reminds me of old Elephant Six stuff, Apples in Stereo, etc., with a vocal sound similar to Neutral Milk Hotel. Nice melody, could be tighter, I think, but I'm not one to talk. Harmonies are nice.

J. cashpoint: I really wish there was bassline. Did you mention that you were having some technical issues? Was the bass the casualty? Very cool tune, otherwise.

SockPuppet: Weekend at Bernie's for necrophiliacs?

J. Biveous: Great rocking tune; immediately reminds me of Deep Purple. That's the keyboard doing that, probably. I'm going to check it out. Yep, "Highway Star." I think they're in the same key; if you could match the tempos you might be able to mash them up. They probably aren't all that alike, but I could compare Adolf Hitler to Mother Theresa and find a surprising number of similarities (this is not necessarily a positive trait on my part).


Jerkatorium: This is a fun tune. Are they singing "smoke 'em if you got 'em" in the background? Seems there are a few songs with significant others involved. I am surprised this theme would evoke that.

~}*|*{~: Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're trying to represent, through song, one's descent into insanity. If so, you've succeeded. That being said, it ends up sounding like you copied and pasted tracks from different tunes over top of one another accidentally in such a way that it's hard for me to listen to. The individual parts, when taken separately, may have produced something more pleasing to my listening tastes.

Lunkhead:The rhythm guitar reminds me of "Big Me"by the Foo-Fighters.

.
Definitely has a South of the Border feel. This is going to sound crazy, but I get a "Pancho and Lefty" feeling from it, same low key sadness.

Nice harmonies. A fair amount of variation, but all the different parts seem to fit nicely. I like the hanging ending.

Hillbillies: This is so sad. I don't know what to say beyond that. Well, there is one thing I could say; if the lyric is confessional, please accept my sincere condolences for your loss. I am glad that you're able to express your grief through an outlet like song and that there is a touch of optimism (just a touch) to the lyric.

Jim Fallope and his Fallopian Dudes: As I mentioned in the pre-fight, this is my attempt at soggy Bossa-Nova. I was actually please with the song result, although I would have liked to add more percussive sounds (maracas, cueca, etc.).

H, inc.:. Okay, I've listened to it now. Really like the backing track; not typically a genre I enjoy, but it was interesting. The vocal track seemed an afterthought; couldn't really understand what you were singing. I would almost prefer to hear the tune sans vox.

Nick Soma:. I really like your voice; it's very "atmospheric." Reminds me of David Gilmour. . Has anyone ever told you that before? The song itself is not something that would, for me at least, the bear repeat listenings.

[Rudedawg Raymond]

Jim Fallope and his Fallopian Dudes I think you shouldn’t have separated the vocals, because when I flip my speakers to mono the vocals go waaaaay back in the mix. Could indicate that it might not translate?

I agree with your critique wholeheartedly. The problem is I never seem to get a nice, full vocal sound, always ends up sounding muffled for some reason. Double tracking and panning tends to help this a bit for me, but, as you've pointed out, it has it's own draw backs. Does any one have any suggestions on how to get a better vocal sound? I just found my condenser yesterday so I won't have to rely on a SM58 any longer; maybe that will help.

[jb]

Great tunes everyone. I had a blast listening.

IMPORTANT NOTE for next time: When using the "youtube" tag on the message board, only put the video's code between the two tags. Not the whole URL to the video on YouTube.

For example, if the link is youtu.be/9IEemZ6-LZc then only put 9IEemZ6-LZc between the tags.

I made the tag custom and that was the only way I could figure out to get the correct embedding to work in our message board software.

I fixed your post for your Rudedawg.

J