Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by user »

jb wrote:For example, if the link is youtu.be/9IEemZ6-LZc then only put 9IEemZ6-LZc between the tags.
Interesting. I've been using links like youtube.com/watch?v=jCDSZr2zzws and putting watch?v=jCDSZr2zzws between the tags, but jCDSZr2zzws works too. (That's a great song I didn't link to, btw.)
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Rudedawg Raymond »

jb wrote:
I fixed your post for your Rudedawg.

J

Danke, Herr JB.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by HeuristicsInc »

Here, Atticus wrote: Heuristics Inc.
I would recommend switching up the drum beat a few times throughout the song. When it stays this constant, it can make the song feel very repetitive.
Yes, I think you're right, a casualty of the time limit. Do you recommend using an entirely different beat in some sections, or just adding a fill from time to time? Right now I just have parts there or not there throughout...
Rudedawg Raymond wrote:Great tunes everyone. I had a blast listening.
if you didn't skip mine on purpose, just letting you know you skipped mine :)
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Lunkhead »

Heads up, a new song has been added late. Give Nick Soma a review if you're feeling generous.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Rudedawg Raymond »

HeuristicsInc wrote:
Rudedawg Raymond wrote:Great tunes everyone. I had a blast listening.
if you didn't skip mine on purpose, just letting you know you skipped mine :)
-bill
Whoa, you're right! I listen and review one at a time (if I streamed all it would get really confusing). When you go back to the main page after listening, the order is altered snd my bird brain can't keep up with the confusion. ADHD (I have the diagnosis to prove it!). I'll go back and listen. Thanks for the heads up.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Lunkhead »

This is a pretty good fight. Niveous's lyrics seem to have really inspired folks, which is great. I hope we can keep some of this energy going.

I don't know if I'll have time write full reviews. My favorites so far are:

- Caravan Niveous: A fun rocker, lyrics really well targeted to the performer here
- Here, Atticus: I love the instrumentation and the tone and mood of this, great performances
- J. Biveous: Great, epic, although, I'm kind of shocked to hear you violate your own moratorium on classic rock :P
- James Owens: Very pretty, loved the guitar playing, good singing too
- Jim Fallope and his Fallopian Dudes: Evokes a similar reaction for me as the James Owens song, I really like the juxtaposition of the song's style with the lyrical content
- KSDBNS: I liked the effect of the left/right panned guitars responding to each other, the bouncy bass, the synths, and the catchy chorus, fun song
- Possum Sauce: Another good spooky one, I like the marimba or whatever that instrument is, and the organ, great choices, great vibe
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Rudedawg Raymond »

Rudedawg Raymond wrote:
HeuristicsInc wrote:
Rudedawg Raymond wrote:Great tunes everyone. I had a blast listening.
if you didn't skip mine on purpose, just letting you know you skipped mine :)
-bill
Whoa, you're right! I listen and review one at a time (if I streamed all it would get really confusing). When you go back to the main page after listening, the order is altered snd my bird brain can't keep up with the confusion. ADHD (I have the diagnosis to prove it!). I'll go back and listen. Thanks for the heads up.
I've gone ahead and updated my review with Heuristic's song (which I missed) and Soma's song. Sorry for the omission.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by josh »

Sorry I didn't get a song together for the fight itself but I absolutely will put these words to use soon. They're great. Most of my musical energy has been focused on my band. We had our first show tonight.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by hillbilly »

Lunkhead wrote:Dear hillbilly, if you don't start naming your mp3's correctly from now on I may not feel so generous anymore about fixing that for you and putting your songs in the fights. Sorry to call you out in public, nothing personal, but I wanted everybody else to get warned too. The occasional mistake will be tolerated, but if somebody seems either unable or unwilling to figure it out they will eventually run out of fightmaster generosity...
sorry just being slack, thought you knew me, I will follow the rules.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by user »

Great fight y'all, all the songs were at least pretty good. I'll post reviews just as soon as I stop being a lazy bastard (i.e. not this time). I voted for over half the entries, and it probably boils down to genre bias more than anything else: Cashpoint, Caravan, Hill, Jerks, KSDBNS, Possum, Soma, Lunkhead, Biveous, & Owens.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Michael »

Yeah, a great batch of songs. Five on my list after first listen.

jb, you're absolutely right about the EQ. Had to mix my entry on headphones, and when I listened later on speakers I had the same thought. Rudedawg, it's a virtual bull fiddle, I'm afraid. Thanks for the feedback, all. Much appreciated.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by HeuristicsInc »

caravan - well suited to c.ray's style. straightforward and good.

guns - niv really did a good job of tailoring the lyrics to the artist. i especially like these lyrics, music geek heaven. i also like the synthy sounds in this one.

atticus - nice intro, i like the melding of the voice and instruments. when the guitar kicks in reminds me of something like nick cave, which is good. great line: "Go out and find someone happy you’re gone And tell them that you’re not!"

heuristics - that's me. i was trying to emulate front line assembly, but as usual i think my vocals are the weak link. i liked niv's lyrics a lot and it kept me working on this one.

hill - reminds me a bit of that time johnny cash covered nine inch nails. definitely not a feel-good hit for the summer. ended very abruptly.

vegs - the bow wow wow part kinda makes it. entertaining.

owens - hmm, i like the sentiment of the lyric but the song itself isn't doing it for me, except i do like the flamenco feel.

biveous - katrina? i like it, but it isn't grabbing me. i want to like it more.

jerk - 80's kind of style is a good one. xtc? keep on truckin', eh? clever one.

jimf - vocal reverb makes me think this is a lounge singer playing live. this solo bit is a bit long. actually i enjoyed it at the beginning but i feel like the whole thing is going on too long for what it is.

j$ - a classic j$ sound from way back. bits fall off, heh. there are some odd sounds way back there in the mix that gives the whole thing an unsettling atmosphere.

ken - i like that instrumentation that goes along with "I know she's playing a wicked game" a whole lot. actually very nice music throughout. the bridge part isn't as smooth.

lunk - the best thing here is the chorus, with the call and response parts.

soma - love the intro sounds. this is a case where i like the music a lot more than the vocals, like with my song. the music is very strong. i'm going to give it a vote for the instrumental.

possum - odd! the combination of sounds and lyrics and feel is kind of endearing. i would like a more definitive ending.

sock - i like the ? hammond? now these are some interesting lyrics. "break up -> fall apart" haha. also, taxidermy. good rhymes.

tilde - the music is setting up a trancelike state but then there are stutters that take me out of it, or maybe that's just my player. be more careful of the timing. this one has some promise but it's not quite there. weird ending.

tomdg - true story? interesting effort. i do like the feedback bits. that clicky near the middle is way too loud for the rest. very distracting. not quite there.

votes - caravan, guns, atticus, heuristics, jerk, j$, ken, lunk, soma, possum, sock
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Niveous »

HeuristicsInc wrote: biveous - katrina?
Catrina is pretty much the saint of the day of the dead. She symbolizes how you can't take it with you when you go. Death is the great equalizer between the Mexican classes.

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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Here, Atticus »

HeuristicsInc wrote: Yes, I think you're right, a casualty of the time limit. Do you recommend using an entirely different beat in some sections, or just adding a fill from time to time? Right now I just have parts there or not there throughout...
I hear ya! I think a different beat in the sections (chorus vs verse vs bridge) can add a lot of interest. Fills are good too, but are more about adding character or flair. Go listen to some songs you like to draw inspiration from and focus on the percussive elements and drum beat; how they change and when they're more basic/complex. Then try to emulate this in your music. You probably won't be good enough to do it exactly (I know this from experience!) but this means you're not really plagiarizing either. :D You can kind of develop your own style this way.




On a side note, I updated my review to include Nick Soma
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by HeuristicsInc »

I forgot to mention, my favorites were probably atticus and jerkatorium...
if it was the old days of choose one vote, i would have picked atticus.
-bill
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by fluffy »

Hi everyone. I suck at reviewing. (And listening.)

Re: all of your reviews of Sockpuppet: I can't take any credit for the lyrics, which were provided by Niveous. But I can take all the blame for the musical treatment and butchery I did of said lyrics. I recorded it in a hurry, what else can I say except "sorry?"
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by AJOwens »

**********************
A SHOUT OUT TO NIVEOUS for an amazing lyrical marathon! All these words are good. How do you do it?


For lyrics written by Niveous and available on Ye Olde Lyric Archive, I'll add a line or two.
**********************

Part of the fun of songwriting is using chords and melody to evoke the emotional meaning of lyrics. In this fight, I'm looking for songs that catch and elevate the mood of someone else's lyrics.


Caravan Niveous
This songs catches the mood of the lyrics very well. I can hear the leather. The music has a raw edge, the mix is solid and punchy. Vocals have the right sense of excitement or danger, a little better at the beginning. Sometimes the "damn it" line gets too many plays in a row; maybe you could change the arrangement to liven it up.

LYRICS - An evocative profile of "A goth Emma Peel." Every line adds convincing detail. For this creature, I think I prefer the original "Mad Max" reference.


G.U.N.S.
Several musical homages illustrate the verbal references. The four chords are original, but to celebrate this company, something more universal is probably called for. The voice makes me think of BSS, but the band has a different energy, with stronger hard rock influences. The mix is good but just a little dry. The playing includes lots of colourful happenings, going by like a stream of consciousness.

LYRICS - A great device for a song, and a splendid way to honour some great past musicians.


Here, Atticus
Very beautiful and evocative composition and performance. The harmonies and timbres weave like strands of mist in a graveyard. Bringing in the band at 1:10, with its Frankenstein lurching, is a good move. I'm not as crazy about the change at 1:46; it feels a bit too awake for zombies. But a good song overall.


Heuristics Inc. The music is intense and interesting, but feels a bit muffled. If the high end were brighter and closer it would add energy. The vocal drone reminds me a little of Gregorian chant, but its deliberate darkness deadens the vibe set up by the music. The mood is driven by a strong palette of urgent sounds, with solid syncopation.

LYRICS - I get a real sense of the night and the crowds and the streets from this.


Hillbilly
This is a strikingly intense song, with true musical spirit. The lyrics communicate an emotion in sparing phrases. Nice work on the new Radio Shack keyboard, sounds like you've taken to it.


Inflatable Vegetables
Great production, the band cooks along, the composition is bright and clever, the vocals and harmonies are sweet; what's not to like? This is a great entry.


James Owens
Coincidentally enough, I acquired an old Yamaha classical guitar a couple of weeks ago, so when the song title came up I reached for it. What came out is more Spanish than Mexican, even though I was thinking of a band I saw in Cuba. The bass is an unplugged acoustic bass, the lead is my old steel string, the bongos are a new thing.

LYRICS - Niveous' lyrics crept up on me as I wrote the song. They are subtle and touching. I tried, but I don't think I did them justice.


J. Biveous
Lots of punch and energy, the band works well together. Things are going on in the mix that are almost buried, like the organ, adding subtlety and richness. The lead vocal delivery is convincing, and the harmonies have the right sound and attitude. Good raunchy lead breaks; the decision to carve out hollows for them is interesting. The intro lick doesn't add much for me, but it's harmless fun.

LYRICS - Very vivid, colourful images, reminding me vaguely of Keats as encountered in English 101. A message of the vanity of material things is movingly delivered.


Jerkatorium
An infectious intro, a sing that moves briskly, imaginative arrangements. This reminds me of Paco in some ways. The instruments all have a crisp sound, drawn from the same palette. the fade on the intro riff is a nice call.

LYRICS - These particular lyrics I don't understand so well, but something about them suggests a road trip in a painted Volkswagen bus.


Jim Fallope and his Fallopian Dudes
Ah, the bossa nova, played pretty straight (and well), while the lyrics, singing, and phrasings are endearingly flippant. The contrast is enjoyable. The synth flute solo is pretty, but wanders a bit. The song is longer than it needs to be.


Johnny Cashpoint
THis feels like it's hitting my brain with sticks. As much as I appreciate the novelty of the electronic textures, I'm not sensually enjoying it. The tuneful treatment of the grim lyrics, however, is cheerfully daft.


Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff This has lots of catchy bits, really nice harmonies, and some promising hooks. The chorus feels strangely sluggish, possibly due to the drawn-out nature of the portamento accompaniment or the uneventful lingering on the second chord. Good performances, and the song doesn't wear out its welcome. This one brings out the lyrics very well, alternating the excitement of discovery with a more pensive, reflective mood.

LYRICS - These lyrics play a close hand. Evocative images conceal the surprise even as they foreshadow it.


Lunkhead
The mix is rich, intimate, comfortable. The song itself doesn't feel especially adventurous, although there are one or two surprise turns. The chorus puts me in mind of the Barenaked Ladies. Impressive fake slide guitar! The Rhodes and lead guitar do all the right things.


Nick Soma
Intriguing combinations of timbres; it's all rather hypnotic and fascinating, and the disembodied, chantlike singing adds to the effect. Certainly one of the more interesting entries.


Possum Sauce
A pretty treatment of a musical trope, with a particularly memorable line leading into the chorus. Good acoustic recording, with new elements judiciously sprinkled in to keep it interesting. This one feels too short, as though the tape unexpectedly ran off the reel (for those who remember what that's like).


Sockpuppet
The tune feels arbitrarily jumpy and doesn't carry an emotional message, at least for me. But the singing is very sweet and approachable. The keyboard accompaniment offers a sketch of a song; there's not much to comment on by way of arrangement or recording.

LYRICS - These drily humourous lyrics peer into an impausibly insane mind. They are entertainingly silly, complete with bad puns.


~)*|*(~
If these were your own lyrics I would probably be more sympathetic to this random, listless music, although actually I'm not sure about that. The plan was surely to communicate disorganization and decadence, but there's not enough artistic unity (Whatever that means) to escape the impression of just being tossed together.

LYRICS - Possibly the creepiest of the lot, although they all have a morbid quality. It exploits the same horror as The Fly, as we feel the protagonist's grip slowly loosening.


Tomdg
I was worried, but I guess the introduction was intended to suggest radio static -- which it impressionistically did. The song has a darkness, a hollowness that I can feel viscerally. The static that permeates it is somehow appropriate to the mood set by the sparse, still instrumentation. Everything hints of meaningless and emptiness.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by AJOwens »

jb wrote:
James Owens
. . . Pan some shit, yo. . .

Totally. I did try to set up the stereo panning; I just haven't figured out how to do it properly.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by hillbilly »

[quote][/quote]Hillbilly
This is a strikingly intense song, with true musical spirit. The lyrics communicate an emotion in sparing phrases. Nice work on the new Radio Shack keyboard, sounds like you've taken to it.

Thanks Owens- I used to kid her(soon as your gone, I'm getting rid of that sorry dog) her last words were (do the best you can and take care of my dog, I will all ways love you). Cancer suxs. Bet this dog lives longer than I do.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by Lunkhead »

AJOwens, thanks for the review. FYI that is real pedal steel guitar on my song.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by AJOwens »

Lunkhead wrote:AJOwens, thanks for the review. FYI that is real pedal steel guitar on my song.
Ouch. Sorry about that. I took it for a regular guitar with a slide and a volume envelope, I guess because there were no seriously swoopy things that only a pedal steel can do.
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Re: Dawn, Diary, Land, Survival, and (Day of the Dead review

Post by AJOwens »

hillbilly wrote:
Hillbilly
This is a strikingly intense song, with true musical spirit. The lyrics communicate an emotion in sparing phrases. Nice work on the new Radio Shack keyboard, sounds like you've taken to it.

Thanks Owens- I used to kid her(soon as your gone, I'm getting rid of that sorry dog) her last words were (do the best you can and take care of my dog, I will all ways love you). Cancer suxs. Bet this dog lives longer than I do.
My dad died of cancer. You're right, it sucks. And I'm 60, and you're right about everything that goes with that.

Some people were wondering if this was autobiographical. I don't remember you saying so before this. I don't know you personally, but I'm sorry for your loss.

This morning I was raking leaves in the front yard and a woman from up the street stopped in her van and told me that a neighbour's wife died last night. It was unexpected; she had chest pains going up the stairs and went to the hospital and they couldn't save her.

Death is hard -- I can't deal with it very well.
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