You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Pigfarmer Jr
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You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr » Fri Oct 25, 2019 7:51 am

...with all this unneeded focus on tempo, rhythm, harmony, structure, pitch and cohesiveness in your reviews.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr » Fri Oct 25, 2019 7:52 am

Lyric thread: https://songfight.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11602

(Don't forget to add your lyric to the thread if you haven't already done so. Thanks)
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead » Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:28 pm

Songs posted!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by furrypedro » Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:25 pm

Loving the artwork for this one!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by crumpart » Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:54 pm

furrypedro wrote:
Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:25 pm
Loving the artwork for this one!
(Thank you!)
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by crumpart » Tue Oct 29, 2019 1:59 am

I’m a few songs away from listening to all of these, and I can honestly say I’d vote for every song I’ve heard so far. They’re all good. Narrowing it down to a handful is going to be tough.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã » Tue Oct 29, 2019 4:27 am

Did personal space send half of us back to the 80s? So many throwback compositional/mixing choices!

No complaints here!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr » Wed Oct 30, 2019 7:54 am

The jukebox hasn't updated yet. It shows the last fight, current fight etc., but the songs are not up to date. Not sure if this is a real issue or something that will resolve itself, but figured I'd mention it.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead » Wed Oct 30, 2019 9:00 am

I know. Fixing that is on my TODO list.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr » Wed Oct 30, 2019 9:58 am

Ah, thanks. No worries, here. Just making sure you were aware of it.

Thanks for everything.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by vowlvom » Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:24 am

Kinda feel like a grouch this time around, most of these didn't really click with me. I hope none of this is TOO mean, and at least I'm sure to make any other reviewers look more positive:

Balance Lost - much more "solid rock" than your usual stuff, I feel like this is the kind of track where you'll say "I was trying to sound like [insert band] on this track" and suddenly it'll make more sense. You do it well, but this style isn't anywhere near as interesting to me as most of your other stuff.

Berkeley Social Scene - different sound to this one, has a more live kinda vibe than usual. Some of that works for me (I like the drum sound a lot) but some doesn't (the vocals are low in the mix and get lost a lot). I like the tone of the guitar solo although it goes on too long for me (standard complaint).

The Cow Exchange - great concept, fun lyrics, although the mix is slightly chaotic which makes it hard to pick up on some of the subtleties. Not as musically appealing to me as your last submission but the tongue-twistery lyrics are great fun and might get my vote.

Darkanon Viva - melodically more interesting than your last entry and I like that you didn't include a bunch of silence for me to skip on each listen, but the tinny vocals don't do your voice justice at all. Not that that seemed to matter last time around, I guess.

Dead Ambassadors - is this another Pigfarmer side-project? Certainly sounds like it vocally, and unfortunately not entirely in a good way as clunky phrasing / timing kinda brings this one down. I'm not particularly fond of the lyrics either. Gang vocals sound great though and it has a good energy.

Evil Grin - this one starts well but by the end the timing is all over the place, musically and vocally. Sounds like there's a good song in there, but it needs too much polish to work in its current form, IMO.

Far North Daylight - some interesting ideas here, but they don't quite cohere into an enjoyable song for me. I feel like there's some industrial influence to the synths and drums but it doesn't hit hard enough, and there's no real bass. The speak-sung vocal melody doesn't really grab me either.

Future Boy - yay, finally one I can be mostly positive about! This is really catchy and the synths at the start immediately grabbed me, they remind me of early Magnetic Fields. I've hard this one stuck in my head a lot, definite VOTE.

gizo vs. the 17,455 - really like this one too, great punk energy and I love the massed vocals on the chorus. VOTE!

Hot Pink Halo - this one has been growing on me. I think the song is good, the mix is kinda hard work - the vocals and one of the guitars are so high in the mix that the synthy / bassy / drummy stuff (which sounds really cool) gets a little lost.

James Owens - I like the guitar fuzz, there's a generally appealing retro vibe to this. It's a maybe vote, because my only real criticism is that I preferred last fight's song from you and that isn't really fair.

Leppakron - very loose and messy, which sometimes works for me but in this case didn't really. Lyrics are kinda interesting though, and I think this is the main track where I could actually hear the vibraslap!

Lily Plus Martin - your songs have a very particular vibe, there's something about the production and especially the lyrics where I feel like I'm an outsider looking in. Like there are inside-jokes I'm not picking up, although that's probably not true because your songs generally sound quite serious. Like everything you've submitted so far, this is impressively put together, but it didn't really grab me.

The Magnetic Letters - this kinda sounds like you had a lyric and a music track and you were determined to force them together even if they didn't really fit. It's a fairly interesting listen but there's not much of a hook to grab onto.

Peeky Chance - interesting structure, and a nice spacious sound. I like the sparse verses and the much bigger instrumental section between them but the transition between the two feels a little awkward to me, I think I'd have been tempted to jump straight in without that slightly clunky bit where you switch from picking to strumming. This is pretty good though, another maybe vote.

Phlebia - definitely nailing that Motorhead vibe! Impressive stuff, although not wholly my thing I did enjoy this. I wish the drums were punchier though, the crashy cymbals kinda drown out the kick and snare a lot of the time. Shredding sounds good but I'd like to hear a bit more of that in the mix too, although I'm not sure if some of these decisions are an attempt to hit the style you're aiming for, which is fair enough.

Pigfarmer Jr - really enjoyed this one, nice laid back vibe, roomy sound and a strong melody. The ending feels like it could benefit from a little more work but generally good stuff, VOTE.

Slither - I'm running out of ways to say "you do the thing that you do very well but I do not care for it". Sorry.

Third Cat - I really like the guitar melody that opens this song. The rest washes over me in a pleasant way, but doesn't really stick with me. Your atmospheric, laid-back style is always welcome but a tricky sell when bundled in with a bunch of more immediate stuff, I find. Not really sure what to do with that thought.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã » Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:46 am

vowlvom wrote:
Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:24 am
Phlebia - definitely nailing that Motorhead vibe! Impressive stuff, although not wholly my thing I did enjoy this. I wish the drums were punchier though, the crashy cymbals kinda drown out the kick and snare a lot of the time. Shredding sounds good but I'd like to hear a bit more of that in the mix too, although I'm not sure if some of these decisions are an attempt to hit the style you're aiming for, which is fair enough.
I'm glad you enjoyed the track! I consider reviews that consist solely of mixing/production advice to be better than "your song was lame, sorry".

Neither of your identified issues were deliberate, but one of them is something I could have done a little more about.

I recognized a couple days after listening to my entry that the shredding was probably a little too quiet in the mix -- all I'd have to do is turn it up. It sounded fine in my headphones, but I caught that issue a couple days later when I gave it the ol' car test and never re-submitted. Oops.

As for the cymbals drowning out the kick and snare? Well, that's due to my microphones or lack thereof. I usually record my drums in stereo with the built in mic on my TASCAM DP-006 to my left and my Shure SM-58 to the right. Since that's all I've got, my kick drum usually sounds fairly far away. I try to make up for it by doubling it with my floor tom , but that was physically impossible given the nature of the track this time. With I Used To Know You Better, I doubled it up with a synth kick to add more "boom", but that's way easier when you're playing as slow as possible. Compression and clever EQ-ing couldn't save it this time. Hopefully I'll come into some extra money soon and be able to upgrade my drum recording set-up.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr » Thu Oct 31, 2019 8:27 am

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:46 am
As for the cymbals drowning out the kick and snare? Well, that's due to my microphones or lack thereof. I usually record my drums in stereo with the built in mic on my TASCAM DP-006 to my left and my Shure SM-58 to the right. Since that's all I've got, my kick drum usually sounds fairly far away. I try to make up for it by doubling it with my floor tom , but that was physically impossible given the nature of the track this time. With I Used To Know You Better, I doubled it up with a synth kick to add more "boom", but that's way easier when you're playing as slow as possible. Compression and clever EQ-ing couldn't save it this time. Hopefully I'll come into some extra money soon and be able to upgrade my drum recording set-up.
I don't know if you saw the MoTown sound video thread on these boards but there was a little information about how they got their very cool sound. I've included the link if you're interested.

https://youtu.be/TysRGMSjtpQ?t=346
Evil Grin has an album: https://evilgrin.bandcamp.com/
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/1Dcqs6LhwsoYS6EDGPhCCk

My solo Album: http://tcelliott.bandcamp.com/

Ad astra per alia porci - Steinbeck
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã » Thu Oct 31, 2019 8:57 am

Pigfarmer Jr wrote:
Thu Oct 31, 2019 8:27 am
Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:46 am
As for the cymbals drowning out the kick and snare? Well, that's due to my microphones or lack thereof. I usually record my drums in stereo with the built in mic on my TASCAM DP-006 to my left and my Shure SM-58 to the right. Since that's all I've got, my kick drum usually sounds fairly far away. I try to make up for it by doubling it with my floor tom , but that was physically impossible given the nature of the track this time. With I Used To Know You Better, I doubled it up with a synth kick to add more "boom", but that's way easier when you're playing as slow as possible. Compression and clever EQ-ing couldn't save it this time. Hopefully I'll come into some extra money soon and be able to upgrade my drum recording set-up.
I don't know if you saw the MoTown sound video thread on these boards but there was a little information about how they got their very cool sound. I've included the link if you're interested.

https://youtu.be/TysRGMSjtpQ?t=346
I sort of half-watched it while trying to grill and watch my 1 year old simultaneously. I'll go back to it and check out the drum recording part!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by vowlvom » Thu Oct 31, 2019 9:08 am

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:46 am
As for the cymbals drowning out the kick and snare? Well, that's due to my microphones or lack thereof. I usually record my drums in stereo with the built in mic on my TASCAM DP-006 to my left and my Shure SM-58 to the right. Since that's all I've got, my kick drum usually sounds fairly far away. I try to make up for it by doubling it with my floor tom , but that was physically impossible given the nature of the track this time. With I Used To Know You Better, I doubled it up with a synth kick to add more "boom", but that's way easier when you're playing as slow as possible. Compression and clever EQ-ing couldn't save it this time. Hopefully I'll come into some extra money soon and be able to upgrade my drum recording set-up.
I'm a big fan of your drum sound generally! I think it's just because this track (and the Asteroids one last fight) are so high-tempo / high-energy that I have had small complaints. Don't upgrade too far, I love lo-fi drums!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã » Thu Oct 31, 2019 10:21 am

vowlvom wrote:
Thu Oct 31, 2019 9:08 am
I'm a big fan of your drum sound generally! I think it's just because this track (and the Asteroids one last fight) are so high-tempo / high-energy that I have had small complaints. Don't upgrade too far, I love lo-fi drums!
How to get Phlebia drums: tune your toms as low as possible without them sounding floppy. Do the same with your kick. Break your kick drum's resonant head. Tune the snare to be as ringy as possible. Go 14 years without replacing your drumheads. Record in a reverby garage that smells like a litter box.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead » Thu Oct 31, 2019 10:20 pm

The Jukebox is fixed and updated now.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Adnama17 » Fri Nov 01, 2019 7:42 am

Hey there good Song Fight folk!

The better looking half of Evil Grin checking in. I'm an Aquarius, my favorite color is green, and I like long walks on the beach.

Wait, wrong set of boards...

Looking forward to getting to know everyone and learning lots. I am not the best at production, though Pigfarmer Jr has help me a ton with that, bless him. And I often can't get out what I hear in my head, so things end up weird sometimes. Case in point is our entry this week. Sorry about our timing issues. Poor Pigfamer Jr... Sometimes I'm sure he just shakes his head and mutters to himself, "WTF is she thinking?!"

:)
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by thirdcatmusic » Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:29 am

Balance Lost - great guitars, some really nice riffs. I like the atmosphere, the drum machine sounds, the synths. like the high vocals on the part that goes "i know you give me your personal touch..." - that bit is my favorite part overall. the softer bit after that is really cool too though. nice atmospheric outro. the vocals don't work quite as well for me on the verses but overall I quite like this one. VOTE.

BSS - vocals are really buried/lo-fi. makes it sound kind of like a demo run through of the song rather than a final recording. the guitars sound nice. the drums/bass have a good solid thickness. really instrumentally I like this one, but the vocals kind of let it down I think.

The Cow Exchange - this is well done and there's a lot of fun references. vocals sound quite good (kinda remind me of Ben Folds.) pretty catchy melodies. the jokey lyrics don't do it for me overall and keep me from giving this a vote.

Darkanon Viva - very quiet, needs some mastering. vocals are too buried for this style I think. there is some charm to it, I like the minimalist quality. vocal melody doubled by the synth the entire song might be a bit much, but it kinda works and with the vocals being as whispery as they are that might be the way to go.

Dead Ambassadors - pretty good instrumentally. lyrics: no.

Evil Grin - sloppy rhythm lets this one down, seems like there's a decent song in here though.

Far North Daylight - some cool sounds, but they seem disconnected from the song which feels really buried and low energy. mostly I think this one is let down by the mix. I want to hear the atmospherics come in as a part of the song not placed on top. there are cool ideas in this one though. I like the ideas that I hear, but it doesn't seem well realized overall.

Future Boy - I really like this one. Your entry from last fight was one of my favorites too, but I like this one even more. Cool style, well done. Vocals sound great. Cool groove. Yeah. I like this a lot. In the running for my favorite of the fight. VOTE.

Gizo vs 17455 - I love the crazed energy on the "personal space" scream. Manic! I think part of the style here is go lo-fi but I want to hear things a bit clearer maybe. This is a maybe vote for me.

Hot Pink Halo - I like the style of this more than the execution, I love your taste and choices. Instrumentally this is one of my favorites of the fight. Vocally - I like the ideas but the performances could be stronger.

James Owens - This is almost amazing - it has this really cool '60s garage psychedelia sound but I think it doesn't quite work as well as I'm imagining and I'm not sure exactly why, maybe vocals aren't loud enough in the mix? I think the issue is mostly in the mix. Performance & song is really cool. Love the chorus. I'm giving it a VOTE.

Leppakron - At its best this reminds me of something from Piper At The Gates of Dawn but unfortunately the vocal performances let it down a bit too much. Stronger vocals and this could be great.

Lily + Martin - Great vocals (from both Martin & Lily), cool atmospheric production work. This isn't really drawing me in and grabbing me on the first couple of listens but I am impressed by the vocals and the production enough to give it a vote anyway. Partly because it seems like the kind of song that would be a grower and I can imagine it being my favorite if I listened to this fight every day for a month. VOTE.

The Magnetic Letters - At its best it reminds me of The Talking Heads. I like this. But the mix could be better. It's not quite grabbing me, I think it's that the lead vocal is too buried maybe. This is a maybe vote.

Peeky Chance - Good sounding vocals, guitars, everything really. This sounds pretty pro. I think I'm more objectively impressed than I actually love the song but it also seems like kind of a grower. It's very pleasant to listen to. VOTE.

Phlebia - Pretty cool, high energy. Quite a contrast with your super slow burn track from last time around (which I loved.) The slow atmospheric thing is more my bag so I liked that one more, but this does have some really cool sounding guitars. I think the atmospheric sort of elements you added helps make it your own rather than just a pastiche of this style of song, pretty cool. VOTE.

Pigfarmer Jr - Nice rhythm track. Good guitars. I really like the little riffs. Vocals sit in the mix pretty nicely. I like this one. VOTE.

Slither - Great mix/production. Clean & clear. Vocals fit the style well. Objectively I think this deserves a VOTE although it's not entirely up my alley.

my favorites are Future Boy and Balance Lost with a honorable mention to James Owens. good stuff everyone.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã » Fri Nov 01, 2019 12:09 pm

Balance Lost - For what it’s worth, I love the 80s-tastic vibes this gives off, and all of the riffs are well done. Nobody likes being stuck in a cubicle. I *really* like the chorus. Everything about it is just great. Perhaps you could add some chorus to that guitar riff? I feel like it would make it sound just a little sweeter. I like the chorus a lot more than the verses, but regardless this gets a vote for sure.

Berkeley Social Scene - I wish the vocals were mixed just a little bit higher. I enjoy the vibe of this one and think the kind of chimy clean riff sounds pretty cool. I’d probably like it more if it were faster, cause in its current form it doesn’t really hold my attention that well. It’s just kind of a “middling, mid-tempo rocker” I guess. The guitar solo sounds pretty good, that grabbed my attention I reckon. Would probably have been better “movement” between the parts. The transitions aren’t very ornate.

The Cow Exchange - Oh boy, another left-field pop single from The Cow Exchange! I’m becoming a fan of you over the past few fights. I will say this: I program all the time. All. The Time. And you know what programming language drives me nuts? Python. Beacuse of that damned mandatory indentation. I will put my brackets where I please, thank you very much! I mostly write Java these days, but I do like Clojure at times and Perl is my go-to for scripting languages. The music in this one isn’t your most captivating, but lyrically this is by far the most “normal” you’ve entered in the past 3 fights. You ought to write music for kids’ shows. This would fit in great on Storybots. Vote.

Darkanon Viva - Less quirky than your last entry for sure. I sort of miss the funk, but this gloomy garage inspired beat is kind of neat. Sing out more, I feel like you’re holding back. The vibraslap was well-executed, and that marimba synth in the background was an uncommon, if inspired choice. I wish it got going more, I feel like it needs to kick into high gear and really get intense, cause beats like the one you used would be great for that.

The Dead Ambassadors - Feels like I’m listening to the Offspring, only I don’t think they’ve written any pop-punk anthems about Joe Biden’s more off-putting tendencies. Come to think of it, I can’t say I was expecting anyone to take this angle, and even though I really don’t like this particular variety of pop-punk -- never have, not for lack of trying -- I like how it’s executed. I didn’t like the hard panning at the beginning.

Evil Grin - I’m not overly familiar with your past songs, but I can definitely say that I don’t hear mandolins on here very often. And that’s too bad because Mandolins can be a wonderful instrument. I’d say the mix could probably use more treble, there’s a certain aspect of it that just sounds kind of flat. Or my hearing’s shot, I’ve been around screaming kids all day. I like this song cause sometimes people just need to piss off.

Far North Daylight - You tend to opt for a rather drony style in your guitar playing. I feel like you like open strings a lot. Is that a 707 drum machine sample pack in the background? Sounds like one I’ve heard before. There’s a certain weakness to the melody, there are points where you’re really on it and then yohu sort of just start talknig more...it’d be catchier, especially at this speed, if you really sang out more. I’ve always liked your band name. Spent a couple summers in Alaska. Boy did those days last a long time. I rode my bike in clouded over daylight at 330 am at one point.

Future Boy - I like this one a whole lot more than your previous entry, and I think 90% of it has to do with you using much more interesting chord progression to back it up. There are a couple moments in here that I REALLY like, particularly that bit where you mention the bell and the overtones and you fade in that atmospheric bell tone. It works well. This is catchy and solidly executed throughout. I’m trying to come up with things to gripe about it and...I’ve got nothing. VOTE!

Gizo - So this was your Black Flag tribute, eh? I love it! Probably cause half of my favorite punk songs have this sort of half-shouted, totally non-melodic delivery. The drums during the “Four walls” part please me quite a bit, though I wish the drums in generally were a little higher in the mix. And the gang shouts. Yes! VOTE

Hot Pink Halo - I like your new microphone, it makes your stuff so much more high quality! This has this upbeat vibe throughout that I really like. Plus I tend to enjoy more introspective lyrics -- and the fact that anyone who reads this message board knows that you moved to the opposite side of the world a while ago makes the themes of dislocation and homesickness hit home more since I know you’re not just making stuff up. All in all there are a few mixing issues that I’d like to see resolved -- those flanged guitars are a bit too sharp and angular in the mix. Also like I said to Gizo, I wish the drums were louder! And the ooh la la la background vocals are too soft. And some of the double tracking gets a little off-time with itself...which is something I’ve struggled with myself! A maybe vote.

James Owens - Ah, a great little retro garage rock style ditty. Up until you start adding in the synths and move away from that I-IV progression it reminds me of Spacemen 3 a bit, but 90% of that is probably the production -- the slight reverb, simple structure, and rhythm style. Actually all the lyrics about space sort of helps with that, but they never sang about space, they mostly sang about jesus or drugs or drug jesus. I don’t know. What I DO know is that I really like this song, find it a solid composition, like the lyrics, think it’s well executed, and would say it’s one of my favorites of the fight. VOTE

Leppakron - There’s this kind of droney, bluesy folk sound that this is covered in that I REALLY want to like. I do. So you’re living in the subway and you created an army of giant bluetooth enabled spiders to chase everybody out of the subway so you could have the whole place to yourself? That’s a hilarious and novel take on the title. I wish I liked the song more, but it’s just so...sloppily executed? That’s really my main complaint. Like there are a number of times throughout this where it feels like every track is sort of on its own tempo. It holds together more at the beginning. But the atmosphere makes me super happy. But, augh, I don’t know. This is like my thoughts on crumpart’s song -- hers I didn’t like the mixing but liked the song. Yours I don’t like the execution but I like the song. Maybe vote?

Lily And Martin - You really have an established style that you stick to a lot. How did y’all end up meeting each other, anyway? Cause clearly you’re on the same wavelength creatively. Art school? Was that it? Anyway, I have one gripe about this song and that’s that it stays too...minimal throughout the whole duration. It builds all this tension and never really escalates much beyond that tremolo panned guitar. The compression seems to be squishing Lily’s voice at times. I notice it a lot more with hers than Martins. The low-end of the mix is over-emphasized and kind of muddy...and there’s not much treble (which I notice much more obviously with Lily’s voice). I like the lyrics. The music doesn’t grab me as much as your other ones, unfortunately.

Magnetic Letters - Is it unnecessarily harsh if I point out that this is a pretty noticeable drop in quality from your past few entries? It doesn’t seem to really go anywhere, there’s not much in the way of melody, the mix is kind of flat, and I’m having a hard time discerning much in the way of structure. These lyrics, combined with all of the talk of feeling sick and delirious and stuff about louie the fly and whatnot remind me of the time my friend’s brother took way too much benadryl and spent awhile talking to a computer mouse. Did you take too much benadryl? The lyrics entertained me, but musically this is a pass.

Peeky Chance - I love this. The lyrics are simple but effective. The background harmonies sound great, I love the keys, the tempo change is well executed, your voice sounds good. It builds, goes somewhere, and resolves nicely without anything really for me to complain about (save for some bassy clipping at some point in the mix). Are you related to Cheeky Pants, the simliar names suggest so. VOTE.

Phlebia (liner notes) - Okay, so I guess I bummed myself out last week doing that depressing slow burn sad violins tune. So I needed a total 180. And the idea of what to do this go around came around when I was doing some dishes listening to Motorhead’s Overkill. I can play that fast! I don’t even need a guitar, Lemmy just plays a bass! So I wrote a bass riff, cranked the metronome until I couldn’t play it any faster without losing the tempo, recorded it, distorted the hell out of it...and then asked the Collaborations board for some shredding cause I possess neither the equipment or skill to do so. So then I scrawled down a bunch of lyrics about various domestic things that invade my personal space. Like my toddler. Or my kindergartener. Or me, getting in my wife’s personal space. Or my cat, getting in OUR *very* personal space. I dunno, I thought it was funny. I played it for my stepdad and he said it was the best thing I’d ever made. It’s definitely the only time I’ve ever done a high pitched scream in a song. :p As a side note, I tried to get something together with Soulflowsteve again but he had stuff come up. Oh well, maybe next time.

Pigfarmer Jr - If you sped up the intro it’d sound a lot like Boys Don’t Cry. The rest of the song does not fit that as much. I want to like this, but there’s something about it that doesn’t really do much for me. I suppose it’s pretty well executed. Did you use any pitch correction on this? There’s a couple places where I keep think I’m hearing artefacts related to it, but it could be just your voice or some other processing. I don’t know. Lyrically it’s just fine, but I don’t find memorable...wish I had better input, sorry.

Slither - I like the lyrics. The melody is pretty good I suppose. I don’t find the music behind it terribly interesting, I feel like it sort of settles into a groove and remains kind of static with no flourishes. Maybe that’s deliberate. But I like flourishes! The lyrics are good, convey a theme well. I like the guitar solo quite a bit. Your singing is great, so you don’t need to work on that at all. This is kind of like my feelings on Pigfarmer’s song -- it’s alright I reckon but not really my thing.

Third Cat - I hear that tremolo strumming and those suspended chords and whatnot and think “this guy has probably studied Kevin Shields fairly intently”. Plus you did that awesome shoegaze track a couple weeks ago so I’m beginning to think I dig that side of your stuff. The heavily autotuned effect that comes in at times is well executed in it’s “not-at-all-subtle”ty. Great synth work, though I wish there was a full verse going on with the synths. You produce your stuff well in my opinion. I’d have maybe added a little bit of reverb to the guitar effects chain, but that’s a matter of taste. VOTE!

Favorites overall? James Owens, Third Cat, Balance Lost.
lilysloane
A New Player
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:08 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Piano/Electronics
Recording Method: LogicX
Submitting as: Lily Sloane
Pronouns: she/her
Location: San Francisco
Contact:

Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by lilysloane » Fri Nov 01, 2019 1:43 pm

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 12:09 pm

Lily And Martin - You really have an established style that you stick to a lot. How did y’all end up meeting each other, anyway? Cause clearly you’re on the same wavelength creatively. Art school? Was that it? Anyway, I have one gripe about this song and that’s that it stays too...minimal throughout the whole duration. It builds all this tension and never really escalates much beyond that tremolo panned guitar. The compression seems to be squishing Lily’s voice at times. I notice it a lot more with hers than Martins. The low-end of the mix is over-emphasized and kind of muddy...and there’s not much treble (which I notice much more obviously with Lily’s voice). I like the lyrics. The music doesn’t grab me as much as your other ones, unfortunately.
We did not meet in art school or even go to art school! I studied psychology (and am now a therapist) and Martin has a Phd in Physics! To quote Martin, "wrong town, wrong school, wrong subject, wrong year." We've been making all this music remotely and in different times zones. We know each other from the podcast world and only see each other in person a couple times a year. These past 4 Song Fight songs represent our first time making music together and it's been really fun. Thanks for your feedback :)
User avatar
gizo
Marmoset
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 11:42 pm
Instruments: i am mostly playing stringed ones, but I'll have a tilt at most
Recording Method: garageband (mac and iOS, depending on the moment). I also have a porta04, somewhere
Submitting as: gizo, et al.
Location: I wish I was at an ocean beach, but instead I'm here with you

Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by gizo » Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:04 pm

rvwx - Personal Space

This week I'm going to try to tell you One Thing I Like, and one Opportunity For Improvement. It’s like being back in the office...

Balance Lost
OTIL: The subtle hard-panned vox in the quiet section. In fact, pretty much the right side of this song is full of great.
OFI: It feels like your voice could be opened up more - something something vocal delivery?

hmmm…. one review in and I’m already doing terrible at this...

Third Cat
OTIL: I dig the melody
OFI: it feels like you’re halfway between two types of sound - I would love to hear this slide into a more ‘live band’ feel with a traditional rock drummer, but also a more ‘space-electronic’ feel with more vocoder and boops.

Phlebia:
OTIL: frenetic. My friend went to see Sisters Of Mercy playing a couple of nights ago. And I’m also remembering that time I saw Primus playing at the Big Day Out with a bunch of guys barefoot in the gravel mosh pit. My wife immediately picked the Motörhead (this is expected as they’re one of my mother-in-law’s favourite bands)
OFI: not much, you’ve pretty well nailed the feel for this, I think I would’ve like to hear a little more guitar throughout and maybe get that solo to cut through a bit more.

The Cow Exchange
OTIL: this is a very important message, and I thoroughly support it. I can imagine this as a workplace anthem. There’s some great use of lyric here - the way you borrow from Mix-a-lot and V. Ice (are there more I’ve missed?) with relevance to the message is wonderful.
OFI: I just wonder if those backing vocals could be a little less comical in their delivery, maybe....?

Evil Grin
OTIL: I love the chorus, also the droids reference.
OFI: overall, I struggled to listen to this, it feels like all the instruments are playing different songs at different times.

Lily plus Martin
OTIL: when Lily’s voice kicks in at 1:13 this song lifts me up and I’m taken back to the beautifully dark tones of Sarah Nixey in Black Box Recorder, with hints of Annie Clarke in some parts. It sounds wonderful.
OFI: I feel like Martin’s voice has more to offer, perhaps in this track it’s the placement relative to Lily? Lily’s voice is right up the front, while Martin feels set back in the mix a bit, and I find the shift between the two a little jarring.

This is a good song I like it.

FutureBoy
OTIL: your voice, there’s something delightfully earnest in it. I love the way you deliver the Personal Space line and the overlaps.
OFI: there’s one sound that keeps hitting and sounds awful in my ears- is it a bad digital vibraslap?

Crumpet:
OTIL: Jaysus, you scare me like the Dark is Rising. You are the Creeping Doom of setting outlandish goals and going for them. I love how high you set your bar and how close you get to smashing it every week.
OFI: I’m not sure but..... there’s an element of distraction to this recording. I think it’s maybe the double vocals and the breathing pauses battling together. I’d love to hear this with a single main vocal track (with attention to breathing), and maybe a little less treble I think?

gizo
OTIL: mercifully brief
OFI: buy a USB audio interface, and learn how to shout

Pigfarmer Jr
OTIL: great use of the slap. I like your vocal delivery here and the story is coherent
OFI: I’m not sure really. It’s well realised and put together. I think maybe I’d like to hear some backing vocals in places, but overall you’ve done really well with this.

Dead Ambassadors
OTIL: I like the shouts - they’re better realised than mine, well done.
OFI: I think of that time one of my mate’s kids wanted to show us a Pepe the frog meme (in a “it’s so bad, it’s funny” kind of way) and my mate shut him down straight away - he has absolutely zero tolerance for ideas that don’t need amplification in any circumstances. I feel that way about the lyrical content of this song.

Leppakron:
OTIL: “the spider race.”
OFI: much like Evil Grin, this would be much better if it felt like all the players were playing together.

Darkanon Viva
OTIL: I like how the vocal sits in this recording, and the vibraslap works well and makes sense in the context of the song too
OFI: I dunno, I’m just waiting for it to take me somewhere.

Far North Daylight
OTIL: I’m guessing it’s a super slowed vibraslap sample that’s burbling away in there? This song feels lime it’s from Queensland, when the sugar cane is burning. I don’t know why, but it drags my mind there.
OFI: Those drums, and particularly those hi hats, are a bit underwhelming, and I feel like they could lift the whole track if they were a bit more... fluid?

James Owens
OTIL: I swear I’ve recorded a hundred tracks with that whispered 1-2-3-4, so much so that for a moment I thought it was me! And then I was pretty sure it was ‘El Caminos in The West’, and then it was you and your retro fuzz rock and it was pretty fun really.
OFI: the thing is, it also sounds lime a hundred songs, and none of them are you. I’d like to hear more of _you_

The Letters, Magnetic
OTIL: I like the 80’s you recall here, and your ‘aaaahs’ are gorgeous and reminiscent of some of the more wonderful moments of the Flaming Lips
OFI: it took me quite a few listens to be able to find the vocals in here, they feel so hidden!

Peeky Chance
OTIL: your voice is disarmingly easy but it’s the slide into Fleetwood Mac that wins me over here...
OFI: too much bass overall I think maybe?

TOSHIRO
OTIL: You’re my best friend and I love hearing from you so much in fact this week I went back and listened to ‘You are the heartbeat of this office for sure’ and then a whole bunch of your old tracks that I have squirrelled away, and it was golden.
OFI: next time try a little more emphasis on submitting a song, maybe?
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