You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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gizo
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by gizo »

Thanks all for the kind words - I'm glad you found some joy in my Personal Space. I've got to pay credit to my beloved, who took a break from her Masters study to scream into the mic with me.
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Æpplês&vØdkã
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

gizo wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:04 pm

Phlebia:
OTIL: frenetic. My friend went to see Sisters Of Mercy playing a couple of nights ago. And I’m also remembering that time I saw Primus playing at the Big Day Out with a bunch of guys barefoot in the gravel mosh pit. My wife immediately picked the Motörhead (this is expected as they’re one of my mother-in-law’s favourite bands)
I'm not confident my mother in law even knows who they were. But then again she's never been much for keeping up with music.
I find it amusing that you mention Sisters of Mercy - I've been digging on Floodland a lot this week and my melody line for RT,WA is sort of inspired by it. And I saw Primus 3 years ago when they were doing a North American tour with Tool. They were kind of phoning it in, unfortunately. Tool completely dominated the evening. I was sitting though, so no gravel mosh pits for me.
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Smalltown Mike »

This is the most I’ve ever heard people count into their songs. Mostly these are first-time listens over coffee on Saturday morning, though I listened to Cow Exchange, Futureboy and Darkanon a couple times. I’m handing out votes like they're candy at Halloween.

Third Cat
Lovely guitar. Might be nice to hear the vocals start quieter and build (and yea, that might NOT be nice. What do I know.) Love the drums. This is great. I’d like it to longer, feels like it ends too song. Could have a really nice build at the end. Vote.

Balance Lost
I like a lot of this, but it’s not really hitting it for me and I don’t know why. I think it’s mostly the vocals, which I don’t understand because I thought your vocals were really good in The Way it Isn’t. You have confused me with a well-done song that for some reason isn’t working for me.

Lily Plus Martin
Really really nice when the second voice came in. Immediately grabbed me. That …. guitar? … when Martin comes back in is really nice, too. I like the sparseness of this. This is excellent. Enough to make me peek into the archive to see if you’ve done other stuff. (Yea, I’m not always good at paying attention to the fights I’m in.) Vote.

The Cow Exchange
This is really well done, and there’s a lot of great stuff in here. It’s probably not my thing, but it’s really well thought-out and goes a lot of places. Some great musicality in here. You’ve got my head nodding and you’ll get a vote. Nice work. I DO like this. It IS my thing. Great ending.

Phlebia
Quite a good 80s-style hardcore tune. I might point out a couple things could be clearer in the mix (like, more guitar) but the great thing about 80s-hardcore was that you got what you got from the recording. They weren’t all clear. No point analyzing, and this sounds really great. Great basslline too. BUT: my god that intro is long. I’d love to hear it with one runthrough of the bass riff, and then vocals when the drums kick in right away. In general, I’d love to hear this in and out in about a minute 20, but that’s me. I like ‘em short. What is that, four verses? God, no. In and out. But great tune, and a vote. Great solo. And a vote.

Peeky Chance
I really like the intro part — in fact, I was a bit disappointed when the drums and everything came in full on. I would have liked it to stay quiet and mellow like this. I would probably mellow those drums out, maybe rim shot instead of the snare hit, etc. Great organ solo. Actually, scratch my first comment. This is interesting the way it starts and ends the same way but has that nice instrumental break in the middle. I do stand by my thoughts that the drums need to be revisited. Vote.

Far North Daylight
Those are some strange sounds coming through my speakers. I feel like this doesn’t really go anywhere — the intro feels like it’s going to build into something but doesn’t. It also feels like it sort of falls apart in some spots. This really doesn’t work for me.

Leppakron
I find this interesting, but the multi-vocals aren’t matched enough in timing to make this work. I find it hard to follow. Would be good to hear it go somewhere new, too.

Berkeley Social Scene
This seems more low-fi than your tracks normally are, no? And the vocals are REALLY low. I keep thinking it’s going to suddenly kick-in in all it’s well-produced glory. This is good though, and I really like that mellow verse groove.

Pigfarmer Jr
Wonderful. Love the way it comes in with some nice, strong vocals. Nice … mandolin or something? This song would work nicely in the musical montage in a cheesy rom com, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Would be great to have a bridge and something, but really nice.Vote.

The Magnetic Letters
Pretty much captures that mid-80s feel. Your vocals remind me here and there of Blue Peter’s 1983 hit (did it make it out of Canada? Don’t know) Don’t Walk Past. But beyond that bit of nostalgia, this isn’t really working for me. Backing vocals are interesting. Feels like it needs to go somewhere new at some point.

Darkanon Viva
This is really nice. Great atmosphere. The “own damn fault” line feels like a cliche and could be stronger. I would love for it to have gone somewhere after the second chorus, to become more of a complete song. And by complete I mean, you know, verse chorus verse chorus something something chorus. Vote.

Dead Ambassadors
The Uncle Joe detail makes this very real. Great length but don’t listen to me because I just like short songs. I think the vocals need some variety in the the verse deliveries — different length lines, different rhythm, different soimething. Vote.

gizo vs. the 17,455
I like the vocals a lot but they really don’t match the music for me. Or at least, they don’t match what I wish the music was. Could be the mix, too, because the vocals are probably louder than they should be.

Evil Grin
There seem to be a lot of timing issue in the playing here, and I find it’s jarring and distracting. Combined with the fact that it’s really not my thing, I don’t have much else to say.

Future Boy
Love this. Great vibe right off the start and great sound for the keys and drums. The “bell line” is great as are the harmonies. Dig the additional harmonies at the end. I find your vocals sort of hard to hear sometimes, which could be a reverb problem? Great dark lyrics, too, for a happy sounding song. Love this.

Hot Pink Halo
The vocals get a little blurry here and there (how’s that for a new music term) — it sounds like there are double takes that don’t quite match up. There seem to be some timing issues, too, and I think this needs to go somewhere new at some point.

James Owens
Really nice. Nice work. Really nice melodies. Love that verse vibe and rhythm. A couple timing, issues, maybe. Nice chorus. This song has a really nice feel. Holy fuck I love that organ solo. Love it. Great work. And a great take on the “personal space” title. Vote.

Slither
A mushy love song about my wife. She’s the best. I told Rob I really liked his panned backing vocals on this, and he said: We call that in the business “the ole lefty-righty.” He’s very generous in the way he teaches me technical mixing terms. This started when I sent Rob a really simple bassline, and he came back with a really happy summer groove. Here’s another bit of trivia: the first Slither track we did was Young Buck, and the very next day we went to see the Exploited, the Cro-Mags and Off! in Montreal. So go figure.
Punk rock is for children. Grab a six-pack at Half-a-Dozen Records.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by AJOwens »

Balance Lost -- Solid guitar-riff rock, with dreamy psychedelic interludes. Good performances. The mix is very clear. Nice use of the vibraslap.

Berkeley Social Scene -- The vocals sound like they're coming through a mic pointed at something else. It certainly brings out the sense of a live performance! This song seems to bide time musically, and then come to life in the chorus, but maybe this is because the vocals are so quiet. The chorus is effective, and its variant endings help keep things moving in an interesting direction. The third part with the solo acts as an interlude, but the whole thing runs a little long for me.

The Cow Exchange -- Clever take on the title, fun arrangement, a likeable entry. The music supports the lyrics especially well. The vibraslap is gratuitous, but that actually works with this song, not against it.

Darkanon Viva -- Some instruments are up front and others are very quiet. This gives the song a disjointed feel, as if the players were on a very deep stage, with the ones near the back in their own space, at a considerable walking distance. The percussion plays a prominent role in the sound, and it comes in with a great three-tom fanfare, but then settles into something routine; I'd like to hear more variation. The vocal track has some intimate clicking and breathing noise, which removes the singer from the otherwise abstract-sounding musical context. The slowed-down vibraslap at the very end works well.

Dead Ambassadors -- Guitar-riff rock in a later, punk tradition. An enjoyable entry. Something about the singing brings out the lyrics, which work well with the song. Occasionally I'm distracted by a hard-panned solitary guitars, but good work overall. Short and to the point.

Evil Grin -- Hard-hitting lyrics and an interesting combination of ukelele and distorted guitar make this promising, but there's work to do around the rhythmic tightness. There's also some pitchiness in the singing, and a lack of audience connection. It's as if the singer is reading the lyrics while she sings, instead of communicating to a listener how she feels. Working on that might help with the pitchiness.

Far North Daylight -- Interesting use of the vibraslap as a helicopter-like synthesizer effect. The song is sort of a blues boogie, with not a lot happening musically except the vibe. The band develops a nice groove, but to really bring it out you'd need higher levels, maybe compression to punch up the bass and drums, and a more in-your-face vocal performance. The vibraslap solo is creative and interesting.

Future Boy -- Fine rhythmic syncopation on a Latin beat, which, along with the Rhodes-like keyboards, analog synth pipings, and soft-edged chords with their sixths and ninths, gives this an eighties soft-rock sound that I always hated, on a fairly predictable musical pattern with some thoughtful choices (and who am I to complain about that?). The performance, arrangement, and production are all very well done.

gizo vs. the 17,455 -- Classic British pop punk, but with a drum solo! This does everything right -- well, maybe the choir is a bit loud -- but the sound is all there and the energy is tremendous.

Hot Pink Halo -- I like the composition, with its open plateaus and angular landscapes. The recording has good energy. The singing occasionally feels rushed across the syllables.The beat is strong and steady, but there are rhythmic irregularities in the dual-tracked vocals that work against the momentum of the song. If you are using the dual tracks for a deliberate out-of-sync effect, a judicious reverb or phaser or flanger might give them a more ghostly ambiguity.

James Owens -- Not highly original songcraft on my part, but it holds the lyrics. The recording came out more or less as expected. It could be a little louder. There is a vibraslap in a couple of places.

Leppakron -- Rick and I got into a bluegrass groove, so the guys wrote some lyrics and we went through it live, and then Dark Son added vibraslap and other things. It sounds relaxed and playful, like the jam.

Lily Plus Martin -- The "musique concrete" approach to the vibraslap is innovative. The guitars in the solo sound slightly out of tune, but that might be due to modulating effects. The development sometimes feels slow, but the song is atmospheric, at times sending a chill through me.

The Magnetic Letters -- This sounds like Roxy Music performing while their memory modules are being pulled out. Most entertaining.

Peeky Chance -- A solemn-sounding song. The kick drum is a little assertive during the quiet parts. The central, instrumental section could be the soundtrack for a movie montage about travelling a long way by car. It's very lush and comfortable. The lyrics are thoughtful.

Phlebia -- The kick drum feels physically uncomfortable in my current headphones, even when I turn it down. The frantic performance by all concerned, especially the vocalist, gives a panicked urgency to the plea for personal space. The words go by too fast for me, but the general message is well-expressed in this entry.

Pigfarmer Jr. -- A gentle acoustic mood, with good use of the vibraslap. Tuneful in a foursquare sort of way. Musically, the chorus extends the lingering end of the verse, introducing some structural interest. The mandolin adds charm. The lyrics are concise and effective, but the cheerful, lilting music is slightly at odds with them.

Slither -- The song offers some exciting modulations and a neat solo around a declarative, pentatonic soul style that doesn't wander too far from the home notes. Well-placed vocal harmonies and responses. The rhythm brings funk and reggae together. The music sets a mood, but the song doesn't strongly engage attention.

Third Cat -- The rhythmic and melodic play gives this song a highly original quality, while the rich arrangement offers constant interest. Thanks in part to the almost geometric melody, the vocals have a remote, abstracted, disembodied feeling, yet the chorus is curiously touching as it drops a semitone from major to minor.
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Adnama17
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Adnama17 »

Balance Lost: I can relate to the no personal space at the office so so much, and the 2nd verse is beautifully descriptive, but then the chorus is something suggestive to a possible lover, so I’m instantly disconnected verse to chorus lyrically. The musical feel change up between the verses and chorus is nicely done. And that’s a nicely placed vibraslap. Guess I’m just hung up on the lyrics.

Berkeley Social Scene: Vocal is too low overall. I hate people that do this too, so the lyrics are very relateable. Don’t know if you’re much of a vocal screamer, but that could’ve been fun towards the end, maybe even starting everything super low and building it all up as your frustration grew. Nice break at about 3:15.

The Cow Exchange: Dig the rhythm and overall vibe a lot. Quite sassy lyrics. Those horns are legit. And the guy wah-wahing cracks me up! I have nothing helpful to say. This one is just pure fun. :)

Darkanon Viva: Nicely dark. I’d back the drums off just a hair and the rest of it would pop nicely.

Dead Ambassadors: Main vocal needs to be a smidge higher for me. It gets lost in places. The rest of it is nice and tight. But it’s too short! I was just getting into it and it was done.

Evil Grin: Yeah, this pretty much sucks and we know it. All the general excuses apply, lack of time being the biggest culprit. But this prompt hit exactly where I was at the moment b/c no one would leave me the fuck alone (they still don’t but I’ve set down some very strict rules, so that helps), so what you hear is pretty much how I felt, discombobulated and really pissed off.

Far North Daylight: That creepy, scratchy thing in the background is quite unsettling. I like it. A bit flat overall though. I feel like it needs something else or to go in a different direction for a just sec or two or something. Like a hiccup in the rhythm maybe, if that makes any sense.

Future Boy: This is not a genre that I enjoy much, so I’m having a hard time thinking of anything helpful to say regarding the music itself. The lyrics though, very good. Rhyme scheme is on point, and you paint a nice visual. I can picture you right where you are perfectly. And I agree, there’s so much doom and gloom to gnaw on. Gotta just get away from it all sometimes.

Gizo vs the 17,455: Now these lyrics and this vibe I can totally get behind. I like how the first line talks about not being able to think with all the noise going on, but the song itself is super loud and obnoxious. The “personal space” screams are a little too hot, but maybe that was your plan. It does add to the fuck off vibe nicely. This would make a nice reverse doorbell to my studio, so instead of alerting me to someone wanting to get in, it blasts at them instead to go away. Hahaha!

Hot Pink Halo: The vocal delay is a bit too much in places. It distracts me from the lead vocal, so I’m having a hard time following along. I’m not connecting with the lyrics either, but that is probably just me not being in the right headspace for them right now. The drive to the music is nice, but it seems like it’s just trying to pull the vocals along and they’re not quite keeping up. Honestly, I think it’s “It’s not you, it’s me” situation to some extent. I’ll listen again later and see what I hear then.

James Owens: Vocals need to be hotter. I’ve said that several times now, so maybe I’ve just got old ears. Ha! The majority of it is nice and tight, but the open cymbals make it feel draggy and sloppy to me. Dig the lyrics a lot, especially the 2nd verse. I could debate that kind of stuff for days and be very happy indeed.

Leppakron: I plead my allegiance to your newly birthed Bluetooth enabled spider race. Send them my way. You are the only one, so far, that’s not let their vibraslap ring out, rather you deadened it (well except at the very end). That’s an interesting sound. Love the creeping feel to the music. I love it when a song gives me the heebie jeebies.

Lily Plus Martin: Slight imbalance between the two vocals, the female vocal is ever so slightly hotter than the male vocal in the first 2/3 of the song. Towards the end, the round part, it’s better. Lyrically, I’m not sure what this is about, but I don’t really need to know either. It’s got me pondering lots of things about who these people are, what they’re background is, what is really going on with them. Anytime you can get the listener to wonder is a good day in my book.

The Magnetic Letters: As with Future Boy, this is not a genre I care for, so I can’t comment on the music. But truer lyrics have never been sung. People can be really insensitive about this kind of thing. Such jerkfaces. I especially like the last section. A lot of deeper meaning there.

Peeky Chance: That guitar part is mesmerizing. Nice change at :58ish! That keyboard part adds a ton. The lyrical simplicity makes my day too. You say so much with very few words. I feel this song rather than hear it. Nice!

Phlebia: Awesome! Any parent or couple could totally relate to these lyrics. And that is sooooooo my cat! Hahaha! Not much to say except I thoroughly enjoyed this one. :)

Pigfarmer Jr: (waves to Pigfarmer Jr. Hi!) That’s your guitalele, yes? We should pair that with my new mando sometime soon. (And a lot of bass, b/c that’d be a whole lot of treble. :) ) Every woman alive can relate to this one. Most guys ruin everything by just opening their mouths. At least this guy admits it. Fun little guitar ditty in there. Nice pace. I can feel his exasperation. He tried so hard. Poor guy…

Slither: Dig that back beat a lot. The echo in the chorus is a nice touch. The whole song is quite sensual, especially the chorus lyrics. “Don’t know where you stop and I begin” is a pretty spicy lyric. Is it getting hot in here?

Third Cat: This one isn’t doing much for me. Not b/c there’s anything wrong with it necessarily; it’s just not hitting me anywhere. It is also the 19th song I’ve listened to and you’re at the end of the alphabet, so I may just be overdone. I’ll listen again later and see what I hear then. And next time, I’ll shuffle the alphabet and not listen all at once. Sorry about that! <3
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves -Walt Whitman
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by furrypedro »

Peeky Chance: Very pleasant. I like songs that have a change-up part way through, and although I was initially disappointed at this changing from twinkly finger-picking to slightly generic strumming, the build-up of arrangement after that delivered a satisfactory momentum and nuance of melody.

James Owens: This has a real Britpop feel which is right up my nostalgia-alley (not a euphemism). I dig the fuzzy jaunty indie, and the chorus reminds me strongly of Life of Riley by the Lightning Seeds.

Lily + Martin: This continues your vein of icy electronica, but I think you just about manage to avoid being formulaic. I like the dual vocals singing different vocal lines. I think that once again, while the sparse instrumentation succeeds in creating a unique soundscape there's too little in the way of dynamics over the length of the song to really hold my interest, particularly on repeated listens. The guitar and additional synths do add a slight swell, but it still all feels like it's in the same gear througout.

BSS: What I like about this: The harmonic guitar riff, the garagey feel with the low-in-the-mix vocals, generally nice guitar tone, it's tight. The things I'm less into are pretty much the same old things I always complain about with your stuff. Once the chorus kicks in it all sounds a bit too conventional, I guess I still kinda like it but it's very meat and potatoes. I was very aware of the 4.49 length from the moment it started, which perhaps isn't fair, but seeing as you had done the second chorus by the halfway mark I was wondering if you were gonna have any whacky left turns to justify the length, but there were none, just plenty of going through the motions. I would edit the crap out of this, just cut most sections in half, or...go for a higher tempo, my favourite trick! Other than that, I won't complain about the solo, it sounded decent, although not my style, but it was a touch too loud in the mix. Still, all things considered it meets the high standard you guys set for yourselves, so it's a pretty nice job.

Phlebia: There seems to be a war against loud songs on SF at the moment so I imagine you'll get it in the neck for this. I like it though. Man, I've never heard you shred like that before! It seems weird to hear a punk track with a widdly guitar solo, but I guess it's more Motorhead than Ramones. Awesome bass sound, great energy, I love the breakdown after the minute mark. Vocals sound good too, reminds me a bit of Chris Ballew from PUSA who will always have a place in my heart.

Evil Grin: I do like a bit of mandy. This seems to have (by now well documented) timing issues. Quite a lot of them in fact. I like the "these aren't your droids" line, but mostly the verse meter could be tightened up a bit, there seems to be a syllable too many in almost every line. The chorus is catchy, although the aforementioned timing issues, which don't appear to be the singers fault, do detract from it a bit.

Hot Pink Halo: This is cool. I like all the wibbly effects you've got on the guitar. I also like how it's a really upbeat tune but there's lots of space in the mix, and you back up the wibbly guitar chords with some subtle guitar and synth in the background. There are moments when the vocal seems to get a little bit unclear due to the layers overlapping, but it's not too distracting. Nice ending.

Third Cat: There are swells and breakdowns in unexpected places here, and I like the way it subverts the obvious song structure. The guitars sound cool and I like the little chord bends you do. It seems to be ever so slightly rhythmically challenged, I'm not sure if that's just me but it feels like things are not keeping time with each other. I do really like the vocal melodies though, the halftime chorus initially put me off but the vocals are what made it work. The final section is also really cool with the main riff and the various slow attack bits, but again this suffers from common problem in your recordings which is that it ends when it feels like it should have more to give. Overall I like it.

Paco Del Stinko: Where is Paco?! What's going on?

Slither: Very slick production. Can't fault anything about this from a technical perspective, My only problems are based on genre-bias. The lyrics don't connect with me, and the general tone and pace of the song doesn't excite me. It's completely lacking in the kind of nuance or invention that I like, which of course is not your fault.

The Magnetic Letters: A very strange beast this one. Your vocal sounds like Bryan Ferry doing a comedy version of himself; I like Bryan so that doesn't totally put me off. I didn't look at the lyrics but lines like "trying to sell us all insecticide" are not what I was expecting to hear (or have ever heard in a song before) and for that reason alone I like it. I like what's there in the electro bloopery of the music, but it doesn't really go anywhere, just a kind of meandering series of verses. So, I guess I'm generally positive about the style, I just think a bit more structural development would have benefitted it, maybe another instrument or two to aid the dynamics, and making the vocals feel a tiny touch more serious and have them more up front.

Dead Ambassadors: First impression, sounds really good but the crowd vocals are way to high in the mix, they shouldn't overpower the lead vocal. Weird lyrics; from the sounds of it even the friend zone is probably a bit too close for comfort so I think you've let the rhyme scheme trump the lyrical sentiment - however, I certainly don't think this is a lyric that should be taken too seriously. Overall, it's catchy and well done, so good job, possibly a little lyrical rework would help.

Far North Daylight: Guitars sound cool, maybe a little bit droney but there's nothing wrong with that per se. The percussion and weird noises add an interesting atmosphere and eclectic sound to what may otherwise be a standard guitar tune. The production is a little patchy, perhaps the noises overpower the guitar at times. My main issue is with the vocals, the reverb doesn't really match the song, the lyrics need to be edited as there are sometimes too many syllables in a line. It's a song, which means if you just use the important words instead of sull sentences then you can communicate your meaning without stumbling over too many words or throwing the meter off.

Leppakron: I remember reading reviews for your Long Story Short entry, many of which criticised the incessant guitar noodling. Presumably your guitarist didn't read those as it's back in force here, and to little effect. The percussion adds a ghostly kind of atmosphere which is cool, but the song is a bit too full to really exploit that atmosphere. Ironically, there isn't really any space in this mix. You're not the only ones to be guilty of that (I am too) but I feel like this is the song that would've gained most from a bit of minimalism.

The Cow Exchange: Ha, nice Vanilla Ice reference. I have no idea what these lyrics are about, but it seems catchy and fun. There's a tonne of ideas packed into this, and while at times they struggle for space it feels fairly coherent and it's got a solid tune and rhythm to propel it along, and I like that there's always something new to listen out for. As always the production is flawless. Oh yeah, it's louder than the other songs, how dare you!

Gizo: Upbeat and fun. The vocals are a little bit harsh and maybe a touch too loud (except in the breakdown) making it slightly difficult to listen to, but generally it's pretty cool.

Future Boy: I dig this. The backing track has a nice smooth yet bloopy quality, it's unobtrusive and pleasant but full of interesting sounds at the same time. Lyrics are cool, and the melody takes all the right turns to keep it interesting and emotive at the right moments. It has a kind of tech melancholy that is characteristic of lots of Super Furry Animals stuff, and I love them so I'm well on side with this tune. Possibly my favourite of the fight.

Darkanon Viva: Not my favourite of yours, although I appreciate a change of direction and I like that I'm never sure what we'll get from you. The beat's okay, if a bit thin. I like how it feels like you incorporate the sound of the vibraslap into you singing "spaaaace". Points for creativity.

Pigfarmer Jr: I've heard a lot of people say that musicians do their best work where they're on the edge of their comfort zone, trying to stretch themselves to do new things but also keeping their strengths in mind. You are clearly proficient at what you do, an accomplished songwriter and producer, and this feels like you going through the motions. It's so deep within what I feel your comfort zone is that, while it's pleasant enough, fails to excite or intrigue in any way. I like a catchy tune as much as anyone, but I also like subversion or when things are slightly leftfield. I'd love to hear you try something a bit different, either in terms of music theory or arrangement. Also, your recent entry that elicited the biggest emotional response from me was your Supper Club song, just cos it made me laugh and I felt like it more of your actual personality in it rather than simply fitting a genre. These lyrics feel like they could've been written by anybody. They're competent but lacking in personality.

Balance Lost: I feel like I was trying to channel my 20-year old self here. I am not and have never been a "rock" singer in the traditional sense and blues scales don't really suit my voice, but it was fun to play and I'm glad to finally have got as many Balance Lost songs as Those Meddling Kids songs on Song Fight. Here's to another 30!
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Æpplês&vØdkã
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

furrypedro wrote:
Mon Nov 04, 2019 2:23 am

Phlebia: Man, I've never heard you shred like that before!
Well, I wish I could take credit for it, but I can't shred like that. In fact, I don't even own an electric guitar! -- I pawned my Ibanez years ago to help with moving expenses. That's Ryan of Jerkatorium fame, who sent me a guitar track after I sent him some fast drums and Lemmy bass to play over. But he said "consider it my solo". I guess if it's mine, then I actually can shred now. Just...not on command.
Adnama17 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 1:22 pm
Phlebia: Awesome! Any parent or couple could totally relate to these lyrics. And that is sooooooo my cat! Hahaha! Not much to say except I thoroughly enjoyed this one. :)
Yep, everyone in my household got a shoutout on my lyrics. In order: my 17 month old, my kindergartener, my wife, and honestly both of my cats. I figured the parents in particular could relate to the first couple stanzas, but pretty much any domestic pairing with pets probably can relate to the last two.

Smalltown Mike wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 6:01 am
Phlebia
BUT: my god that intro is long. I’d love to hear it with one runthrough of the bass riff, and then vocals when the drums kick in right away. In general, I’d love to hear this in and out in about a minute 20, but that’s me. I like ‘em short. What is that, four verses? God, no. In and out. But great tune, and a vote. Great solo. And a vote.
High energy, short and to the point? Well I kind of did that with my "You'll Know It When You See" it, but I don't think it was executed super well. I actually thought about making it shorter, but I don't know, that bass riff told me it wanted a couple more verses. That being said, I see your point, even if there is an inherent irony in saying a 2:20 song is too long.
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Merle Fyshwick »

Balance Lost: The use of panning in this song is good. Good 'slap. The arp at 1:30 is pretty rad. The crunchy/clean guitar dichotomy is effective. Reminds me of an '80s Aus band. Not INXS, maybe Pseudo Echo? The Knopfler-esque guitar at the end is unexpected and pleasing. The narrative didn't really grab me at first, maybe because there's a lot of swagger in its delivery, but I think it's growing on me.

Berkeley Social Scene: The pulsing picked bass is distinctive, and I like the way it massages my eardrums;). The lead coming in at 3:10 is exciting. It has a good build-up. A few of my mates are Replacements fans, and it has that vibe to my limited comparative knowledge. Overall, I like it, though at 4:49 it could benefit from being abridged a little. I know that's nitpicking, especially given the way that composing for SF (in my own experience) means its common to leave room for future expansion in a song.

Cow Exchange:
Really impressive. Indenting, hey? I think I can relate; I was setting up a linux server on an old laptop a couple of weeks ago, and the netcfg.yaml file had to be consistently indented, or it complained. On a tangent, I don't know much about coding, but it surprises me how poor a lot of coders' spelling is in comments, yet code has to be correct or it won't compile. Nice Vanilla Ice reference. I like the abrupt key change. Vote.

Darkanon Viva: Nice one. Clean beats and low-fi vocals "Pers'nal Speeeece":) Probably the most similar to something I would write of the songs here.

Dead Ambassadors: This one is punchy and the lyrics are super-clear (except for 50 sec in, which I can't quite catch yet), which is a good thing in my book. The piano(?) at 1.30 is incongruous, but works well. Poor old Joe hasn't cleared his browser history; he's a criminal, but I almost feel sorry for him getting chewed out in a cool punk rock song.

Evil Grin: The mando and electric combo is effective. I like the sweet voice issuing threats, and the chorus is anthemic. The timing is...unusual;)

Far North Daylight:
Definitely gave the vibraslap a workout! Good angst-y lyrics.

Future Boy: Tropical drum machine and Beach Boys vocals - nice. Good harms. I particularly enjoy the way the melody goes up in the "Where I can ring a bell" - line. A little reminiscent of South Park Safe Space song?

Gizo: Pretty good at being a punk song - the pain sounds real! Good slapback on the vocals. The BVs are very forward, but that's deliberate and works well in the context. I've never worked in an office, but I reckon I'd want four walls and a fucking door.

Hot Pink Halo: Magic Dirt-ish! Quite a complex production, which is impressive given the time frame. The abrupt end is quirky, like slamming on the brakes, and rest of the song is going to fly into the headrest:) There are a couple of times the lyrics fall out of sync, which isn't that surprising considering it's quite a quick and wordy song. It happens to me too, and raises the question of the best way to deal with it (that is, if you want to): keep recording takes, or edit the ones you have to fit? Here's my unsolicited opinion: For SF I tend to edit a lot because I don't want to drive people around me crazy, and the first few takes are usually my favourite even if they're flawed. My rationale is that it might sound chopped-up, but I can listen to it in the car and let it sink in. If I have time I can record another take later. Feel free to tell me to rack off!

James Owens:
I read the lyrics for this one before the songs were posted, and being ignorant wasn't expecting this! Excellent, instantly catchy, Kinks-y. Definite vote.

Leppakron: Uh oh! Who hasn't dreamed of controlling a bluetooth spider army? Only thing is my girlfriend's laptop would probably hijack the connection and she wouldn't know that she'd taken control of the spiders. I like the laid-back vibe with the drone-y bass. It gets a bit tripped-up in the middle, but that represents the commuters fleeing in terror, I imagine.

Lily + Martin:
Oh yeah, this is the one with the innuendo - ha. An interesting concept, duet-wise. Feels like the intro track to a concept album, maybe; the next track bringing in percussion.

Magnetic Lettuce (Me) Production-wise, pretty bad this week: sounds muddy, levels are too low...but I'm fond of the song despite its faults. My technique was different for this one. I recently found a keyboard (Lowrey/Kawai) that had been left for verge collection (bring out your dead, whatever it's called) and repaired it. I sequenced the MIDI in Cubase, then ran it through the keyboard back into Cubase. Everyone has been sick around here, and my reference to that was overheard when I was coming up with lyrics, which in turn led to me cracking the shits, and saying that I shouldn't be censored...and that I need personal space to compose. Anyway, I kept the place-holder lyrics as a kind of protest. I like the vinyl-scratching sound, which must have been me pressing the wrong key, but the timing of it makes me smile.

Peeky Chance: Lovely intimate delivery and recording. Yeah, nice Wurli solo. I really like this. At first I almost wished there was more singing, but the narrative is nicely self contained, and the instrumental is part of the story. I can't quite pinpoint what feeling it evokes, quiet optimism in the face of melancholy on a cold morning maybe.

Phlebia: Is that a detuned guitar or a bass? Ah, bass - nice one. I like the frantic Les Claypool vocals. That's a LOT of words in such a short song. They're a little hard to decipher, but the delivery is good enough that I feel compelled to listen carefully/read them. That's a rad guitar solo.

Pig Farmer Jr: Nice mando This one has phase-y vox, too, and good 'slap. Has an earnest quality, sounds 'authentic', hard to describe, almost like a character in a rom-com movie had written it to perform for another character.

Slither:
Seems like a sweet long-term-love song, which is a pretty rare thing...except the last verse makes me question that a little, that it might all be an 'invention'. It kind of throws a spanner in the works, which might be seen as a good twist. But who am I to question lyrics this week?! Unison guitar and bass is cool. Nice little bass run. The slightly irregular rhyme scheme keeps the listener guessing, which is good. One of my favourites so far.

Third Cat: Short and spacey:) Phaser-y vox may slightly obscure their intelligibility, but the space-vibe means the trade-off is probably worth it . Nice intro. Bass kicks in pleasingly.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by crumpart »

Merle Fyshwick wrote:
Fri Nov 08, 2019 12:10 am
Hot Pink Halo: Magic Dirt-ish! Quite a complex production, which is impressive given the time frame. The abrupt end is quirky, like slamming on the brakes, and rest of the song is going to fly into the headrest:) There are a couple of times the lyrics fall out of sync, which isn't that surprising considering it's quite a quick and wordy song. It happens to me too, and raises the question of the best way to deal with it (that is, if you want to): keep recording takes, or edit the ones you have to fit? Here's my unsolicited opinion: For SF I tend to edit a lot because I don't want to drive people around me crazy, and the first few takes are usually my favourite even if they're flawed. My rationale is that it might sound chopped-up, but I can listen to it in the car and let it sink in. If I have time I can record another take later. Feel free to tell me to rack off!


(Note: I don’t really want you to RACK OFF DRAZIC, I just couldn’t resist posting that.)

In retrospect I could’ve definitely done the lyric editing better. I’d recorded one day, and everything was technically pretty good pitch wise and whatnot, but there was no character in there at all. It was the most boring singing in the whole wide world. So I scrapped that and re-did it the next day, except my pitch wasn’t as good so I just recorded a lot of takes one after the other with the intention of splicing together the best ones. When I listened to them stacked though, I really liked it, so recorded some more harmonisation and called it a day, despite the fact that everything was a little off timing wise. I’ve done a little bit of double tracking this week but was more careful to sing along with myself, so hopefully it’s better.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by vowlvom »

Haha, my friend Ryan made that video! Love seeing it pop up in the wild.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by crumpart »

vowlvom wrote:
Fri Nov 08, 2019 2:24 am
Haha, my friend Ryan made that video! Love seeing it pop up in the wild.
AMAZING.

90s Australia sends it’s eternal love to Ryan.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Merle Fyshwick »

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 12:09 pm

Magnetic Letters - Is it unnecessarily harsh if I point out that this is a pretty noticeable drop in quality from your past few entries?......... Did you take too much benadryl? The lyrics entertained me, but musically this is a pass.

No, that's quite flattering (to the other songs)! I was at the end of my tether, and didn't subject the song to much scrutiny. I did once take too much Robitussin (deliberately) and felt like my head was perched on top of a really long neck.
AJOwens wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 9:00 am

The Magnetic Letters -- This sounds like Roxy Music performing while their memory modules are being pulled out. Most entertaining.
This made me laugh pretty hard - probably the most imaginative review I've ever received, thank you for the mental image!

To Hot Pink Halo - wow, they said 'rack off' In HBH a lot. I never watched it much, but a couple of girls I knew were in love with Drazic:)

The layering thing is fine, and double-tracking vocals can hide a multitude of sins. Early versions of songs I make often have several vocal takes going at once, and it does sound fuller than once you've composited them into to a single track...but can also be more 'blurry'. it's funny, because I've been thinking about how in theory you'd be able to create a perfect performance with enough takes, but when I audition them I stuff up in the same spots every time!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead »

Balance Lost and Peeky Chance tie!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by gizo »

Lunkhead wrote:
Fri Nov 08, 2019 10:09 pm
Balance Lost and Peeky Chance tie!
Congratulations x 2 !!
.sig
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

Congrats on the double win! Both of you were quite good. And geez, a 4 way tie for second. I guess this fight was just filled with good songs!
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Congratzies to the winning twins.
Evil Grin has an album: https://evilgrin.bandcamp.com/
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/1Dcqs6LhwsoYS6EDGPhCCk

My solo Album: http://tcelliott.bandcamp.com/

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(To the stars on the wings of a pig.)
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by vowlvom »

Congratwolations!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by furrypedro »

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 4:37 am
Both of you were quite good.
Haha, love this. And I wish it had been a 6-way tie. Has there ever been more than a double win? Other than glennny gaming the shit out of My Last Nerve that is :P
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by AJOwens »

furrypedro wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:59 am
Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 4:37 am
Both of you were quite good.
Has there ever been more than a double win?
"Day of the Dead" had a three-way tie. The moderators said it had happened twice before, but they didn't say which fights.
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

furrypedro wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:59 am
And I wish it had been a 6-way tie.
Well given that a 6-way tie would have been my first ever win, I'd probably have enjoyed that! Plus it'd be funny seeing that pop up on the "5 years ago!" section every now and again.
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by crumpart »

Æpplês&vØdkã wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:17 am
furrypedro wrote:
Sat Nov 09, 2019 7:59 am
And I wish it had been a 6-way tie.
Well given that a 6-way tie would have been my first ever win, I'd probably have enjoyed that! Plus it'd be funny seeing that pop up on the "5 years ago!" section every now and again.
A six way tie for “personal space” would have been gloriously ironic. I didn’t get to reviews this time around, partially because I loved so many of the songs and voted for about ten, including the two winners. Congratulations!
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Re: You're making me uncomfortable... (Personal Space Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead »

There was the "Prayer for Pancakes" fight where the fightmaster declared everyone a winner:
This was a special 30 minute fight that coincided with the appearance of jb and spud on g4tv's Attack of the Show. A title was selected from g4's message board at the beginning of the show, and jb and spud had to come back at the end of the show and perform it. These artists participated simultaneously, and we thank them. It is a 14-way tie, as everyone gets 2 votes. One from jb and one from spud.
But other than that one-off, looks like the most number of winners we've had in a fight is just 3.

http://sfjukebox.org/fights?sort=winner ... ply+Filter
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