I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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crumpart
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by crumpart »

Brown Word and the Big Whine:
I like those organ sounds, especially with the pulsing kind of feel on one of the layers. I'm not a fan of the vocal treatment. It feels like it's a choice you made as vocal disguise, like they sometimes do in news stories to protect an identity, but the implementation here just makes it seems a bit too jokey.

CazaroTaro:
Again, love the pulse organ sound on this one. I think this one passed me over on the first listen, but on subsequent run throughs I've really enjoyed it. I like that it's kind of unassuming. Good ending.

Dust Pipe:
Every time I listen back to this one I wonder if I missed it the last time. It just kind of washes over me and I don't retain anything from it. I'm getting a Guided By Voices vibe. I feel like it would benefit from a little more direction or structure. I really like those twinkly sounds.

Evil Grin:
I enjoyed the long intro on this one, and I think the harmonies work really well. The pacing on the lyrics is really satisfying.

Geech Sorensen:
I love this, and it's one of my favourites ...but... it's like there's too much of a good thing happening. There's a spot around the 2'30" mark that feels like a really perfect, natural spot to end, and then it just keeps going for another minute and a half. There's nothing wrong with it, per se, but if it was 2'30" long I'd listen about 5 times in a row, and as it is I just get a bit frustrated that it's not shorter.

gizo vs. the 17,455:
Pretty happy that you entered this week, because this is my favourite song of the fight. I danced to it in the kitchen with the dog this afternoon. I particularly like the bit where you sing "U-turn", and I expect the verse to keep going but it doesn't. It's real good; I like it.

Glenn Case:
Good opening line. I like the pacing of the lyrics; there's a good amount of space around them. The solo after "I won't share so don't you ask" is a nice touch.

Hot Pink Halo:
It me! The title this time around immediately took me to one of my favourite visual artists, Paul Klee, who did a bunch of amazing checkerboard style paintings. A lot of his paintings were about music, and he himself was a very good violinist. I find it interesting that in his music, he struggled to move past baroque classical, yet somehow managed to break free from the classical art world to make some of the most modern work around at the time. I was originally going to make this full scale baroque, with only instruments from the period, but recorded some guitar just to try and get the music going, and realised I needed to make it mostly guitars. Originally the lyrics were about Paul Klee and the time I had to pay $100 for a tiny library book I was convinced I'd returned, but apparently hadn't. Uni wouldn't let me graduate until I'd paid the money, at which point we moved house and I found it down the back of my plan drawers. The book was already in pretty poor condition when I'd borrowed it, and I ended up taking it apart with the intention of rebinding it. Ten years later and it's still loose sheets. Anyway, those lyrics weren't working, but I was thinking about bookbinding and remembered a line I'd written down in a notebook from back when I went to a lecture at Trinity College just after moving to Dublin. The Book of Kells is kept at Trinity, and there are quite a few illuminated manuscript conservators and researchers there as a result. The lecture I went to was about the Book of Armagh, and one of the speakers mentioned in passing that the first pages of ancient manuscripts have often been dissolved by the acid in the hands of all the people who took an oaths on them. I can't for the life of me find anything online to verify this, but it stuck with me and this song was born.

The Kraken Lives:
The intro to this ticks a lot of boxes for me, but it loses me a bit when the lyrics start. Just not my personal preference. It feels a little samey, and could win me over a little more with a bit of variation peppered throughout the song.

Kyle Rogers:
I like the crunchiness of this, and I think it's reflected nicely in the "fraying edges" line. It's too long for me. I don't dislike long songs (hell, I won the award for longest song last fight!) but I'm not sure that there's enough guts in this to justify the length.

Lichen Throat:
There are lots of bits in this song that I really enjoy. I love all the keyboard parts. The drumbeat is throwing me because the other rhythms in the song feel so much stronger and they don't always line up with the drums. I'm not sure what program you use for mixing, but is there a setting you can check to have the drums follow along with another instrument? Your lyric meter loses the plot here and there as well, but overall I like a lot of moments here.

miscellaneous owl:
The piano sound is perfect in this song. The whole thing reminds me sonically of a mix between what I remember of PJ Harvey in the 90s and the song Dream Figure by Cardinal. That last line cuts right to the bone.

Paco del Stinko:
I like that I can always tell which songs are yours without even looking. There are some nice moments of vocal delivery in this, like your very restrained throughout except for some bits here and there where you add a flourish, and I think it works well for the song.

Phil Well:
I really like the verses in particular this song. I don't love the chorus as much; it feels a little cut off or less fleshed out melodically than the rest of the song, but overall I really enjoyed it.

Phlebia:
You've been mixing your vocals a bit higher these past few fights and I appreciate it! That has a good, strong, driving feel to it. Reminds me a little of the Beta Band, which (along with the Beach Boys) I mainlined in the final year of my MFA when I was alone in the studio printing on weekends. I like that higher pitched part that sounds a bit like a marimba with lots of reverb on it. Good ending.

ShoehornTC:
I enjoyed this one. It's another of those that passed over me on the first listen but grew on me as I listened to it a few more times. It's a super fun, cute song.

Travels With Brindle:
I like your band name. It reminds me of my dog, who is also brindle. This is a sweet song, but like with most of my other reviews for the longer songs this week ...it's too long. I think to sustain that length it needs a bit more variation in the structure or instrumentation. I like the "this secret is too heavy" line a lot.
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by gizo »

crumpart wrote:
Wed Jan 15, 2020 2:40 pm
gizo vs. the 17,455:
Pretty happy that you entered this week, because this is my favourite song of the fight. I danced to it in the kitchen with the dog this afternoon. I particularly like the bit where you sing "U-turn", and I expect the verse to keep going but it doesn't. It's real good; I like it.
Thanks Crump. And thanks to all who've been able to review this week.

I find it particularly relevant this week that there's been positive and negative feedback about the tempo, because I had quite a bit of discussion with my wife about it too. The song started off at around 80bpm, but we thought it was a bit too ploddy, so we sped it up to 100bpm, but I felt like I was tripping over myself all the time, so we settled for 95.

In case anyone cares, it's less about a person and more about a feeling - my voice is the personification of the rage that can grow inside a young person and maybe they never learn to quite let it go so they always have a childish angst about someone or something that becomes their excuse for unhappiness.
crumpart wrote: miscellaneous owl:
The piano sound is perfect in this song. The whole thing reminds me sonically of a mix between what I remember of PJ Harvey in the 90s and the song Dream Figure by Cardinal. That last line cuts right to the bone.
Never, ever, miss an opportunity to push this album by Cardinal.
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by phil »

Brown Word and the Big Whine: It would be interesting to hear this song without the effects on the voice. The voice sounds strange and uncomfortable but I like the sound of the organ.

CazaroTaro: The combination of the cheap drum sounds and the pad in the chorus is interesting. The song stops in the right moment, so you want to listen again.

Dust Pipe: The hi-hat is a little bit annoying, the overall structure seems like it's improvised. It's hard to get the red line the song follows.

Evil Grin: I like the chorus.

Geech Sorensen: Great guitar tone! One of my favorites.

gizo vs. the 17,455: Somehow there is a lack of energy and tempo. I wish it would be a little bit faster and with more pressure, especially the guitars in the chorus.

Glenn Case: Here we've got the pressure. At the beginning it could be a song written by Phil Collins. The piano is very dominant. Interesting structure.

Hot Pink Halo: Weird mix. I barely can hear the drums, and I don't know if the beams are needed.

The Kraken Lives: Nice guitars and riff!

Kyle Rogers: The mix is quite exhausting.

Lichen Throat: Sometimes it sounds like the vocals run after the rest of the song. Where does it come from?

miscellaneous owl: This is a beautiful song with a beautiful voice.

Paco del Stinko: Funny and full of energy.

Phlebia: Good speed, but the vocals are a bit monotonous.

ShoehornTC: Probably my favorite. This is a fun idea and well done. You want to start dancing right away.

Travels With Brindle: I think the song needs more variation and the vocals are sometimes a little bit out of tune.

Thank you for the kind comments here in the forum! I had great fun listening to the songs and reading the reviews.
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Brown Word and the Big Whine: Love the organs, like the guitars. The vocal was a cool effect but it might have paled for me after a while. That being said, I liked this as a one off listen.

CazaroTaro: I kind of like the lofi (ish) sound, especially in the vocal. But the vocal doesn't quite sit in the mix for me, at least not perfectly.

Dust Pipe: I'm picturing a dark, out of the way jazz type of club that no-one knows about that holds an artist review where some of the more colorful performers in town get together and do "art." And as I walk in this is playing. I mean, I can picture it. I see the odd and cool and sometimes paradoxical outfits and shades at night feeling and the odd hats and old mix of world war I war attire and flowery scarves and unkempt hair and smiles on the performers playing to the stoned front row of young female dancers with the guys being to shy and bashful in the back to go up and dance.

Evil Grin: This was us. I didn't want to sing it but I guess it was my turn because I did.

Geech Sorensen: That opening riff has stuck with me. It makes me feel like this is a song from like the mid 90's alt.punk/indie scene in the midwest that I saw at the blue note in Columbia, Missouri and had completely forgotten about until my old roommate, Wade, played it while he was back visiting over Thanksgiving and it took me back to a place and time that I don't often think about much anymore. As a result, I'm already liking this song quite a bit even though it wouldn't be my normal immediate like. But it is. Those guitars are cool.

gizo vs. the 17,455: Since you brought it up, I liked the tempo, but felt that this song might have been an opportunity to change it up a bit. Maybe slowly build the tempo throughout to give it a sense of urgency. I like your melody and your almost wall of sound with the guitars.

Glenn Case: I'm loving your vocals. Great performance and effective. That guitar break is frenetic more by tone than anything else, but I like that playing, too. Fits very well. This is a good one.

Hot Pink Halo: I like the chorus melody. I like your arrangement but it (or the mix) make my ears tired in like super quick fashion. Those synth pew pew thingies became annoying super quick. Those melodies, though, like all of them, are good.

The Kraken Lives: I like the doubled guitar/bass riffage. I'm not a huge fan of not holding the pitch on the vocal, especially right at the start. That falling off like on "past" in the first chorus... But I can't sit still listening to the riffs in between sections. And the guitar solo works very well for me both in tone and in playing. Kind of organized chaos in a way, but more melodic.

Kyle Rogers: SO MUCH DISTORTION on a dirge like opening guitar wall of sound. What's that effect on cymbals on the left side? Reverse sound or reverb or something? Cool but it got me into ear fatigue in a quick fashion.

Lichen Throat: I like this music quite a bit. It's a nice, if not huge, change from your normal "eastern" sounding tracks. I enjoyed the story/travel of the narrator in the story. Grampa sounds like a good guy if he takes him in.

miscellaneous owl: I liked this one right from the start and have listened to it more than probably all of the other songs combined (except for possibly my own since I mixed it and listened for hours on end.) Once I saw the lyric and really dug into it then it probably got a little uncomfortable for me. But with a few days away and repeat listens I still love the song the most out of this fight.

Paco del Stinko: I love the attitude in your vocal delivery. You always seem to have a cool rhythm. And I like your lead playing here.

Phil Well: Something about this song drew me in right from first listen and has held up on repeat listens. Probably my second favorite of the fight.

Phlebia: That drum track is relentless. The singer has some serious angst which I think fits the lyric pretty well. I think the monotony/sameness is a cool effect but one that I'm not enjoying as much as respecting.

ShoehornTC: Too happy and lighthearted delivery for "crappy food and crappy mood" except that it works. I'd compare to this to some fun Holy Modal Rounder songs from a loooong time ago but you might take it as an unintended insult. Suffice to say that this song has a cool little feel to it that I like.

Travels With Brindle: I always wanted to ask if Brindle is any relation to Charlie but never had the nerve... until now. A uke and vox song will have a hard time standing up to the more fully arranged and produced songs that make up the rest of the field but you've managed to fit in pretty well. A few lines were intriguing and I really wish the lyric was in the lyric thread. Keep up the good writing, I think I found this song refreshing in the light of the usual fare.
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by shoehornTC »

Miscellaneous Owl - I’ve been meaning to record my 100 year old piano and this just reinforces my desires, also reminds me of why I love writing on piano, which I have not done in a while. Love this!!

Phlebia - Very cool drums on this. I had an old friend in college who first introduced me to this style of music, it gave me shivers, where are those old mix tapes?!!

Kyle Rogers - Like the double vocal, and double distortion!!

Phil Well - Musically this one the most immediately up my alley, great vocal performance.

Gizo… - Great groove, I like the tempo here, vocal effects and performance very nice.

Hot Pink Halo - I like the multiple vocal parts and how the intertwine, pleasing chord arrangements and laser sounds!!

Paco Del Stinko - love it all, but that bass line stands out and that snarky vocal

...Kraken... - love the chorus, the guitar harmonies and the metal.

Evil Grin - vocal harmonies pop out, great chorus, driving acoustic is very nice!!

Lichen Throat - makes me sit up and listen, banjo breakdown with the keys is super cool.

Carazo... - Always love that beat and the vocal effects, love the simple piano line, that is up my alley!!

Brown Word... - love the little laugh in there and the talking part, then the big laughs!!! reminds me of my early recordings, I could hold down the play button slightly to get a vocal sound like that.

Glen Case - This is a nice song, great vocal performance, very nice guitar solo and back-ground vox.

Geech... - yep, guitars sound wonderful, the chorus is very ear wormy for sure, breaks. All around success here!!

Travels... - UKE!! Nice song!

Dustpipe - Adventurous!!

ShoehornTC - My friend knows one of my favorite compliments when we play one of my songs is when he says, “that song played itself”. I felt that way about this one.
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by glennny »

Checkered Past

Brown Word and the Big Whine- Why? It’s funny, I like Ween too. Even Zappa does this in Dog Breath and the Year of the Plague, but I think it’s a bad call. It thrusts you into novelty. I wish the vocals were straight instead of Chipmunked. The music is nice enough and interesting. The chorus hook is good.

Cazaro Taro- The lo-fi is charming.

Dust Pipe- I hung out with Paul after I submitted this entry, we listened to the whole session which is 90 minutes or so. He made a few tweaks and the mix sounds so much better, one of these days I’ll publish the remix of this song as well as other great moments of the session. We thrive instrumentally, I did my best to riff on the title for lyrics and melody, but clearly my vocals are the weak link. Paul tells me he had “In the Light” by Zeppelin in mind when he played that pick up riff. This was quite a fun jam. I hope we do them more often.

Evil Grin- This is a solid song. I love the backing vocals especially.

Geech Sorenson- This is great! The groove is tight! The chorus is super strong! I especially like the Oh Oh Ohs! Guitar tone reminds me of Tommy Tutone, which is great. Is it a telecaster? This is the clear winner of the fight to me. Excellent!

Gizo vs the 17,455- I like this one a lot. It’s mellow but cool. There’s something very Velvet Underground about it. Good stuff!

Glenn Case- Weird low synth riff. Singing and vocal melody is phenomenal. Nice lead guitars! Wonderful harmonies! Not your catchiest song. Very interesting though. This is has a very Ben Folds Five vibe to me. Maybe it’s piano and distorted bass that does it. Good track!

Hot Pink Halo- I dig the laser sounds. I have mix issues with the drums, and guitars. I like your voice, but I wish the melody was more varied, there’s a lot of the same note in there.

The Kraken Lives- This is me and my son. I was hoping he’d do the vocals, but when it came time to cut vocals the sun was out and he had some skateboarding to do. We co-wrote the lyrics, we like to play Titan. The goal was to make a metal song. I think I popped it a bit too much for Django’s taste, but he says he still likes it. He wrote the bass line. I do the guitars.

Kyle Rogers- Great vocal performance! Love to hear a drummer behind a kit on this one. Guitars are pretty quiet too. I like the guitar playing though. Is there a bass? I don’t hear it.

Lichen Throat- Musically interesting. The pallet is larger than I recall. This does sound like words before melody. Take off! To the Great White North!

Misc Owl- Nice! I really love your vocal performance in this one. The arrangement is sparse, I hear lots of potential Portishead orchestration I want to layer on top of this. I love the melody.

Paco del Stinko- Classic Paco! A+, checks all the boxes I want in a PdS song. Come to San Francisco! SF Live!

Phil Well- Nice production! I like the verse and pre-chorus much more than the actual chorus. Cool stuff!

Phlebia- Great energy! Fun with echoes! I enjoy this listen.

Shoehorn TC
- I like this upbeat tune. Kinda reminds me of the Halloways-generator. Fun !

Travels with Brindle-
I have a tough time getting into G& U, genre bias. Sorry.
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Geech
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by Geech »

Brown Word and the Big Whine:
Churchy organ is comforting, and then the bizarre vocal and metal guitars chime in. This is like a lo-fi Mr Bungle. I couldn’t handle that in the 90s and can barely get through this one now.

CazaroTaro:
This reminds me a bit of Devo, especially in the chorus. It’s like robots making indie rock. The keyboards work, I like the interplay with the bass.

Dust Pipe:
Cool vibe and sound. I feel like this is the come-down after a massive psych freakout. When it ends, I ask “What happened?” Glen, I always dig your ebow. Your belting voice is pretty good, I want to hear that more, generally.

Evil Grin:
PFJ - the master of hammer-on country-blues based leads. Amanda’s backgrounds are tasteful and effective. I like the distorted guitar ring-outs. The change to get to the chorus is nice.

gizo vs. the 17,455:
I dig this. I wish the sound were bigger, but the understated parts work together. I really like vocals that dance around just a few notes like this. Overall, it reminds me of GBV.

Glenn Case:
GC productions always sound great. There are some good hooks in here, but this doesn’t fulfill its potential. The verse is strong, the vocal performances are good, but the rest is kind of a let down. And I say that because you have accustomed me to such high-quality songs in your recent SF submission run. I like your two-note based leads at the 2:10 mark a lot.

Hot Pink Halo:
There is some potential here, it starts out decent, but I wish it were more confident sounding, especially your voice. There aren’t many memorable hooks overall. I do like the guitar wash sounds you got. The laser gun noises are just extraneous to me, detracting from the overall song.

The Kraken Lives:
Some really interesting riffs and leads here. I’m still trying to wrap my head around them. As far as the song goes, the verse is kind of meh, but I like the chorus a lot. Moving to double time is risky, it’s typically just an easy way to amp up the energy, but I think you make it work. Another ebow lead? I dig it, but I wish you sustained the end of it out over the riff. And your drummer is amazing!

Kyle Rogers:
This is pretty basic indie with a goodly hooky verse. I like the core riff/lead. The chorus loses me. I think you got a little carried away with the tambos.

Lichen Throat:
A nerd lamenting his life in front of some funky robots. I think there are some really interesting aspects of this arrangements, the way the different instruments are layered, enter and exit. The main keyboard riff is pretty hooky. This is one of my faves from you.

miscellaneous owl:
This is a moving tune. The detuned piano sounds great and works especially well for this piece and its arrangement, but I don’t think it sits well in the mix. It’s like you are tight with the drummer and the piano is at the end of a really long hall a block away. Overall, that’s distracting. I like how slow and minimal it is. The breakdown is tasteful. Not a typical songfight entry which amps up the chorus and riffs. The lyrics are solid and the ending is great.

Paco del Stinko:
I want to write more bass-based tunes like this. As always, there is real clarity in a Paco mix. This is a B entry Paco tune for me, it’s a fun one, not your best, but still good overall.

Phil Well:
This is a pretty, delicate song. The intro guitar is great. I have trouble coming up with long melodies like you have in the verse, but you make this work. I feel like the chorus is a prechorus and should go somewhere bigger, but it just leads back to the instrumental head. I want more guitar leads like you have in the intro and outro throughout the song.

Phlebia:
I admire you for submitting these high tension-dirge songs that clearly underperform in terms of vote-getting. Your live drumming is fun to listen to and a nice departure from the world of machines and loops that most other entries have. I respect your minimal use of cymbals. Good choice. Not much melody but I don’t really care. How you bring in the bass is nice. You do a good job building the “liar” repetitions. I like how you add reverb to it as it goes.

ShoehornTC:
This is a little sappy nerd boy for me, but there is an infectious joy in the tune. Thematically and stylistically, it’s like a demo for that punky band Fidlar who do simple catchy songs about getting loaded. I like the chord changes in the turnaround in the chorus. The lead break is nice. I question the incessant harmonies. I think it would have been more effective to use them selectively.

Travels With Brindle:
This is a nice digestive to end the fight. The hookiest part is the intro. Is that the chorus? The tempo varies a decent amount and there are a fair amount of distracting flubs in the performance. The incessant chord strum pattern is a bit much. Maybe this could have worked as a two minute jam. It should not get near three minutes and it’s almost four.

And on mine - Geech Sorensen: To be compared to both Sonic Youth and Tommy Tutone in one song is like a dream come true. I want to be in that band. I was worried that doing the chorus three times to close would be boring but I think I got a good build up in there. That said, I knew I would not be able to submit a song over 4 minutes in length without someone calling it out as too long. I didn’t care. I was feeling it. I grant that there is to much high-end in the mix and that probably helped lead to the standing out cymbals Amanda noted.
Last edited by Geech on Fri Jan 17, 2020 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Æpplês&vØdkã
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by Æpplês&vØdkã »

Brown Word and the Big Whine:

What on earth kind of pitch shifted nonsense is this? I like the song for the most part, and I really like the chorus in an angsty 2000s kind of way. Something about the pitch shifting ranting kind of reminds me of that 100 Gecs album that came out last year. And I’ve totally eaten way too much lasagna before. I do like the minor key synth that runs throughout the whole thing and that FORGET ABOUT YOUUUUU bit at the end of the chorus is pretty great. I like the drums a lot! They sound live, so I’m going to assume they are? Either that or your programming of fills is tremendous.

CazaroTaro:

Well, I’ll start with the bad: I liked your entry last week better. And it’s not because I don’t like this one, it’s mostly due to production values. This track has no body! There’s no bass at all! The bassline is super thin, the drums are filtered to the point of sounding totally neutered. Like I feel like I’m listening to this this on a speaker the size of my eyeball. But it’s not all bad, the chorus is pretty cool and the melody is pretty great, and your robotic processed vocals remain so ridiculously quantized and robotic that it’s just a great thing.

Dust Pipe:

Go listen to Flayed Wish by Bardo Pond and you’ll probably see pretty quickly why I compared the two tracks, they sound remarkably similar to me sonically even though your vocals here are totally different. I’ve said about what there is to be said in earlier posts: I love it. Though I kind of wish that the vocals had a slightly more defined melody to them. Something that’s kind of hard to achieve when you’re making everything up on the spot. But what beautiful noodling! I too have spent time listening to Can and Mahavishnu Orchestra, though likely not as extensively as you. Something about fusion wears me out after awhile.

Evil Grin:

After several fights in a row I’ve gotten to the point where I can identify an Evil Grin song pretty quickly, you all sort of have a “genre comfort zone” of these mellow acoustic rock songs that I find almost instantly recognizable. Lyrically, this sort of takes a neat angle, though I can’t say it really resonates with me all that much. The melody is good, and I dig the vocal harmonies for sure! I wish I had more constructive things to say about this one, because it’s certainly good. Well executed, structured and written.

Geech Sorensen:

As others have said, your guitar tone sounds really “pro” to me. It’s tight! And not sloppy and all. Your rhythm section is also in the pocket for sure. And being tightly executed gets a lot of points! The chorus is catchy, and the whoa-oa-oas are good, even though I’m not huge on whoa-oa-oa’s (I prefer doot-doot-doots and la-la-las for my verbal filler -- my wife was poking fun at me the other day because I was complaining about some radio song that had too many whoa-oa-oas and she found it humorous how many other non-verbal song words I don’t mind). The ending kind of just kind of stops, so I kind of wish that there was a bit more...progression toward it? But I don’t have any concrete suggestions, just thinking out loud. Can’t complain much about it!

gizo vs. the 17,455:

A simple, languid song with a healthy doze of fuzz. I do wish there was more fuzz but you already said that to yourself. There’s something about the post-chorus that brings to mind stuff like JAMC but I can’t place exactly what it is. The “run run run from this tiny town” line has a great delivery and sounds good! I like it. I’d be lying if I said that I had any concrete suggestions other than turn up the master volume of the track or something so it has a bit more power compared to the other tracks in the fight, but as a standalone track? Very good!

Glenn Case:

Another high quality song with great production quality, well performed vocals, and a good composition. I feel like I don’t really have a whole lot to say about this one that’s actually constructive and not a retread of what I say on all of your other songs, but that’s probably not the worst thing in the world -- why tear your song apart when I don’t have anything constructive to offer? I was enjoying your harder edge over the past couple of fights, but this is fine too.

Hot Pink Halo:

The lasers! Is that a spring reverb on a guitar amp? It’s prominent! The vocals could sit a bit better in the mix. Like I feel like the reverb is upside down on this. The track would sound better with more reverb to smooth out the vocals, which are way too prominent in the mix, whereas the guitar could use less, because right now as it stands, it’s just kind of a background jangle. Maybe boost the low mids on the guitar too. Again, the lasers are fun but kind of distracting. Enjoyed the lyrics too, though I would have never understood it if you didn’t explain what they were about!

The Kraken Lives:

Rawk! I enjoy the energy in the chorus, and that riff in the chorus! There’s this bit of distortion on the vocals that makes them sound muddy. It works well on the lower notes, but just doesn’t sit right with my ears in the chorus when you start singing YOUR CHECKERED PAAST! Production quibbles aside, I generally enjoy this song, even if it’s not one that I would find myself coming back to all that often. Personally I feel like it’s about one verse too long. Like after the solo, I feel like there should be just a little bit less...song. And the ending is weirdly abrupt. Why not truncate it to just that little ending riff and cut the last verse and reprise.

Kyle Rogers:

TOO MUCH TAMBOURINE. And there’s this panning going on with the double tambourines that just doesn’t sit well with me and the guitar’s a wall of mud, but not in a good way, it’s just super muddy. Are you using a really cheap amp distortion? I remember way back when when I just started playing guitar back in like ‘03 I had this crappy room amp and the distortion on it sounded a lot like this. I want to say it was made by Ibanez? You have this edge in your voice that works well with the lyrics, though I wish I could read along with them. Sorry, I don’t like this.

Lichen Throat:

You have the most idiosyncratic style. I always love your lyrics. It’s interesting hearing you take a slightly different angle to your music. I feel like a little bit more post-production on the synths (I always end up going for choruses and reverbs) would make them sit better in the mix. I remember someone telling you a few fights ago that you would make a great country singer. Mrs. Phlebia says that you should write some Johnny Cash sounding songs cause you’ve totally got the voice for it. The banjo is a curious choice.

miscellaneous owl:

So Hot Pink Halo described this as sounding kind of like what she remembers of 90s PJ Harvey. And I disagree. This reminds me of 00s PJ Harvey. Specifically, White Chalk. Which is my favorite album of hers. Ignoring the endless comparisons (what can I say, I’m a huge PJ Harvey fan, this is fantastic and the lyrics make me feel intrigued, then concerned, and then sympathetic cause this guy sounds gross. The wolf imagery near the end was fantastically done. The piano? Super well executed. I usually like your songs.

Paco del Stinko:

A bouncy little number with no shortage of charm and energy. I kind of wish that the vocals were mixed slightly louder in the mix and that the guitars were mixed a little bit lower and maybe had less stereo separation between them. I don’t know why but I’d just like to hear a mix that’s a little bit more centralized! The idea of using “Checkered” as a way to refer to speeding is an extremely creative take, and so I have to admire the word play on this title. Hooray! Musically solid (you usually are), can’t complain!

Phil Well:

I enjoy the intermittent 2/4 bars throughout the chorus, I dig the chord progression a lot, and your vocals fit the style well and are well executed! I keep waiting for the vocal melody to really reach upward more than it does in the chorus. Like it sort of reaches up there, but man, this is just beginning for a higher notes, at least a 5th upward where you max out now! But hey, maybe that’s just what I’m used to expecting from ballady piano songs like this. Well produced!

Phlebia:

So this was extremely cathartic to write, as it’s basically about some drama regarding one side of my extended family, only nobody explained WHY grandma called her a liar and why like nobody would talk to each other anymore until a couple years ago, at which point everything made sense to me. I’d offer more details on that, but honestly it’s way too personal for an internet forum. But not personal enough to be vaguely referred to in song lyrics! As an aside -- the line “When they repainted the theater, couldn’t see Vendetta but got one anyway” is a reference to an actual event: we were going to see V for Vendetta when it came out, but had to choose between Failure to Launch or Tim Allen as the Shaggy Dog. We decided on Failure to Launch. Hated that movie. Also this is the instrument featured halfway through.

ShoehornTC:

This song is so catchy, and I love it. I mean there are some aspects of the mix that I could probably criticize, such as the drums sounding kind of flat in the mix. And maybe the song should end about 8 bars earlier. That extra coda doesn’t really add any thing and could probably have been left out. Anyway, the nostalgic reflection on days better not remembered is a nice approach to the challenge. Great jeoarb.

Travels With Brindle:

Ugh I hate having to complain about genre bias cause I try to be helpful, but I really don’t like uke+vocal songs. My hangover from spending a lot of time at indie venues in the late aughts still hasn’t quite ended. I’ve given Gizo grief about that too -- it’s not you. But anyway, this is pretty well executed and has a bit of a charm to it. The line about “checkered future” is a bit pitchy and could maybe use an overdub? Overall, a nice melody and not unpleasant to listen to. Sorry, wish I was more help!
I'm afraid this one fails on pretty much every level for me. - Jim of Seattle

My bandcamp! https://phlebia.bandcamp.com
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Lunkhead
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by Lunkhead »

Geech wins!
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by owl »

ooh, first time win! I haven't finished my reviews yet (sorry! It's been a bad week) but yours and Phil's were my favorites this week. I also voted for like half the songs because it was a Strong Fight.


Congeechulations!
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

A runaway victory. Sweetness. Congratz.
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by gizo »

Nice one, Geech!!
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Re: I don't care about your (Checkered Past Reviews)

Post by Adnama17 »

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats!
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves -Walt Whitman
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