Graphite vs Charcoal (Let's Call It A Draw reviews)

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Pencils, that is. Pick your weapons and... DRAW!!!

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Your lyric belongs here: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11891

[Lunkhead]

Songs posted!

[CordSmith]

Howdy folks!

Glenn Case

Nice sfx at the beginning. It's those little touches that show that an extra bit of care and thought was taken. Vocals seem a bit dry, could use some delay/verb. The instruments are airy and atmospheric but then the vocals and harmonies seem too out front. I like the chord changes underneath the piano riff. Cool tune.

Brown Word and the Big Whine

I like the atmosphere right off the bat. Vocals seem dry and could benefit from verb/delay. Is that a tuba? This has a cool beat, would like the drums to be fatter. This song has a nice attitude and atmosphere. Bridge is great.


Night Sky

The words made my attention perk up a bit, and I specifically went to look up the lyrics for this. "You were blocking my heart and writing all the laws." There's a sad whimsical quality to this tune, especially with that clarinet (or whatever) going on. I dig it.


Hardmonica

This is me. I didn't use any weird instruments and just kind of crapped this out because I wanted to participate but wasn't feeling it. Sometimes it's good to force yourself to just record something no matter how lazy you're feelin'.


Vom Vorton

Is that an accordion? Lots of fun instrumentation going on. "I'm a fucking mess." I don't know that the chorus harmonies needed to sing the lyrics--maybe some oo's and ahh's would have filled it in better, but what do I know. I enjoyed this quite a bit.


Seemanski

I like this funky beat and instrumentation. The vocals are great but mixed a little hot. This is great. Nice how you lower everything for a bit, and then bring everything back in. I love those kind of dynamics in a song. Lots of different parts going on and they fit together wonderfully.


Sweeny Toad feat.. Banditt the Ill Alchemist

I love it. Just a smile on my face here. I went through a hip hop phase a few years ago, so I have a serious soft spot for anything submitted to SF that isn't traditional 'rock'. The guest verse is great. Hopefully you posted the lyrics in the lyric thread. I think this could be mixed a little better, maybe simplify the mix (sometimes there's so much going on) or drop the music down a bit? Again, what do I know. It's excellent.


WreckdoM

This piece is very artistic. I dig the music, and the spoken word makes this an interesting soundscape and worthwhile experience.


Jake DeLorey

This is some rockin' desert rock. I want to ride a 1966 GTO through the desert while smoking cigarettes and other things. HAND CLAPS AND HARMONICA Y'ALL


Jeff DeSantis

"If these walls could talk they'd tell you to fuck off." Great opening line to set the tone for this sittin' and drinkin' whisky song.


Paco del Stinko

Opening with "You take the red, and I'll take the blue" hah! My opening line was "you got the cat, I got the dog" Your sound has such personality. I dig it. This sounds like a band that hires an extra guitarist so the singer doesn't have to play anything and can just go nutz on stage. I'd pay to see that band.

[crumpart]

For a minute I saw this title, didn’t notice the section and was about to get real nerdy about graphite and charcoal here. I had ideas for this fight. I only got to one of them and managed to barely start a song.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

...I only got to one of them and managed to barely start a song.

I wrote a song. I didn't record a song. Another opportunity lost. Looking forward to listen to everyone who did enter, though.

[WreckdoMelle]

Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist - This has a groove to it. I like both voices - the invention of covid is the eating of tide pods, wear a human skin mask bedazzle it. Some great lines in here for sure! My only complaint: the bell can be a bit much at times.

Hardmonica - For some reason I expected something heavy, based on the name, but this is good too. I like spareness of the music over the verse and how it builds up into the vocal harmonies. Toe tapping beat.

Jack DeLorey - is that a talk box? I enjoy a song with clapping, and harmonica too? Fantastic. The driving beat makes this a fun listen. Someone put the needle back on the record!

Glenn Case - Interesting old-timey scratchiness underneath. These chord progressions are very sophisticated sounding, jazzy, very pleasant to the ear. I always like your instrument combinations and tones.

Vom Vorton - Very upbeat and uptempo. I was bouncing in my seat. The little playful-sounding guitar adds lightness to the composition. I love the combination on y'all's voices on the chorus.

Paco Del Stinko - I've never heard anyone play a duck with such talent. This song is fast, frenetic, and fun. As always excellent guitar and bass tones. Paco is never boring that's for sure.

Brown Word and the Big Whine - Here I've dusted off the sousaphone for a spin (not too many brass band gigs going on right now, so a little rusty). My mom's boss is from Gujarat and he brought me a spike fiddle from there - I suspect it's more for looks than sound but every now and then I try to tune it up and put it in a Brown Word or WreckdoM song. So had the rarest instrument I can actually play and the rarest instrument I attempt to play. Just fun trivia, 29 is the highest possible cribbage hand.

Seemanski - Moby Dick-like percussive intro, interesting textures throughout. The vocal delivery on the verse is unique and cool. Good use of space through the song. I like your guitar tone on the solo.

Night Sky - The percussion just beneath the almost percussive guitar works for me. I'm really bad at tone color, even for a horn player - is that an alto sax? I love to hear horns in songfight, especially when they are real.

WreckdoM - I always particularly enjoy it when Geoff pulls the theremin out. We left a lot of open space in this song, to be filled by all sorts of different smaller soudns. If I had to do over again, I would've done the guitars a little higher in the chorus and there is a voice saying "beans and beans and beans" that could be a little more prominent. I did enjoy throwing some subtle effects on the last part there.

Jeff DeSantis - Ah, a nice slow-paced song - great opening line! That guitar sounds great and pairs perfectly with the subdued drums.

[vowlvom]

Brown Word and the Big Whine: tuba bassline works well and this has excellent energy, especially in the chorus. The vocal layering sometimes gets a bit sloppy and the lead guitar is a bit thin (or is some of that violin?) but generally I enjoyed this, definitely one of my favourite Brown Word songs that I've heard so far.

Glenn Case: the piano loop sets an atmosphere and vocal harmonies are on point as ever. Feel like this needs a little more variation though, the bluesy guitar breaks aren't enough to keep me totally engaged. Sounds great as always but not one of my favourites from you.

Hardmonica: I wish this one didn't hammer the title line so much, I think you included it in the verse, chorus AND bridge? Not going to complain too much about the lyrics though because the melody and riff are catchy as hell and I've had this stuck in my head a lot.

Jake DeLorey: good desert-rock vibe to begin with and I like how you change up the feel with the handclaps before the chorus (like a darker My Sharona!). Layered vocals sound good and the harmonica break is an excellent way to change things up.

Jeff DeSantis: killer opening line! I really like the clever rhyming pattern on the chorus too. The slow burn / sparse arrangement works really well for the theme, yyour vocal performance / emotion is excellent, and the lyrics resonate.

Night Sky: sax sounds really good although it kinda bugged me that it was playing exactly the same melody as the vocal in a few places, especially as the melody itself just follows the chords too - as a whole it feels solid but not particularly inspired.

Paco del Stinko: classic Paco, high tempo, high energy, excellent use of backing vocals. The theremin / kazoo stuff fits nicely into the slightly deranged vibe of the song and the solo is fun too.

seemanski: the scratchy layered guitar riffs and unusual percussion work really well, love the use of echo on the vocals too. Good stuff.

Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist: fun musical arrangement and some witty writing as usual, fun having a guest verse in there too to change things up a bit! I'm kinda sick of all of the topics you're covering in your lyrics at this point but you definitely find a fresh angle on things.

Vom Vorton: I had an answer for this one really late on (think it was already two days after the deadline when I started writing!) - sometimes that's a recipe for a rush-job but I think this one flowed out of me pretty well and I'm really happy with the result. My unusual instrument is a Lorenzo Italian Reed Organ.

WreckdoM: I like the way the conversational verses lead into the more upbeat chorus with those spiralling arpeggios, although I wish the voices on the verse were a little easier to make out. This is an interesting mix of trademark WreckdoM low-end fuzz and some unusual atmospheric stuff, for the most part I enjoyed it.

Good fight, tricky to pick votes. I think Hardmonica and Jeff DeSantis are my favourites but all of these have a lot of good in them.

[Paco Del Stinko]

Quick comments, with beer for me. Please ask for clarification, if somehow needed. Good fight.

Brown Word and the Big Whine - The tuba riff is awesome heavy, the guitar all skank, love it. Groovy great bridge complimented nicely by the deranged (too quiet) guitar right afterwards. Ending could be better, but song didn't need to overstay its welcome.

Glenn Case - Love the darkness of the loop and how everything sprouts from it, easy and open, a little off. Super groove and tasty casual hep-ness. Good circleage back unto itself.

Hardmonica - Slinky back alley coffee house vibe+. Very airy and un-cluttered, can hear some influences in there, but works as its own thing. Needs an underground movie to go around it. Mary-Lou Something'er Other could sing this.

Jake DeLorey - Driving my car, shades on. Right into and through the arcade. Awesome. The nearly non changing bass line is balls, as simple as it isn't. Love to rock this live, the added raw edge would slay. Love the end!

Jeff DeSantis - Very nicely sung, lonely cowboy. The patient flow of this is refreshing, and I enjoy the long circular procession. This could easily fall on its face, not as easy as it appears to do this. Very nice.

Night Sky - I enjoy that guitar tone, right off the bat. Thus could be on the same soundtrack as Hardmonica's song. Easy and folky, puts forward at all the right times. Horn is nice, sound great and the open, dry mix is comfortable. Is last verse one too many? Maybe maybe not.

Paco del Stinko - I wish I could say that the red and blue here represent politics in the U.S of A, but it's about Rock'em Sock'em Robots, at least mostly. Typical for me, I reckon.

seemanski - I like the groove, wish I were playing wah or envelope guitar riff over it. Perhaps not what you want to hear, but righteous jam, man. Heavy riffs are totally my scene, bro, and I like string chka-chka. The synths are almost gone, bur very important. Love the production, but not the lack of focus at the end.

Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist - Twisty, I am a fan of the squiggle loop immediately. I'm not good at grabbing lyrics right off the bat, ofte, but I enjoy the sorta sinister tone. I very much enjoy the arrangement and production, even if a re-mix is in order. Those synths get too loud, vocals slip under a bit. That said, I dig where this goes, could end earlier.

Vom Vorton - Super folk rocket, I love the energy and propulsion here, a nice vibe to it, playful yet serious-ish. Capture the mood here when you polish this off, . I'd love to add some guitar to this, but it would probably crowd it. Raise a pint, or two, to this. Cheers!

WreckdoM - Very druggy Viking time in the hood. The arpeggio section is like a relief of sorts, but its nice when it drops you back into the swirl, and later, the slo-motion bubble joy to ride it out. Hint of the dark there too. Very excellent.

[JakeDeLorey]

Just under the wire with my first reviews in....uh...6ish years. Alas, they must be short and sweet.

I'll comment on mine first and get it out of the way. This is my first attempt at recording in quite a long time. Good to get back in the saddle, but holy cow was I rusty. My old songfight demons came back to haunt me, namely time management. Forgot how easy it is to get side tracked, to bite off more than I can chew, to doubt everything. I also remebered stumbling across a great hook, and the serendipity that I rely on to make the few songs I make. it was fucking great. That being said. Im happy with the song, not happy with vocal mixing though, really need to look into doing that substantially better. My friend Kelly Leblanc lent his harp skills for this tune, and he killed it. Totally maked the song IMO.

Brown Word and the Big Whine That opening groove is some sour'y goodness The bridge verse was a really nice contrast to that opening, so they go together well like sweet and salty. You took that optional challange an nailed it. Solid

Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist Damn. wasnt expecting that. This is pretty cool. That is a solid Eminem impression, and I dig the "normal" verse is sweet. That Eminem flow gets to me after awhile though and I yearn for the nomal verse more often. Thats just me though. Solid production, and the vocal sit slick.

Paco del Stinko No matter how long Im gone, Pacos in the fight. Great rocker. Love the background vocals. That chorus of ducks that kicks off the face melting guitar solo is worth playing over and over. Loving this whole middle section with the two distinct solos. Great entry. VOTE

Vom Vorton Well its starts off pretty cheery, thats for sure. Ah FUCK. That cheeryness sets you up for the surprise fuck.I like it. I get a pulp feel from the vocals. Great chorus. I think I would like to hear some more....instrumentation?no, thats not it. Maybe the background was to quiet for me or something. Either way, this was well written, and the production was clean, but it lacked...oomph...I dont know.

Glenn Case oh ya. I love a lazt hook. A Lazy hook like the piano in JJ Cale's "Wish I Had Not Said That. Dont even have to finish it to know this is a vote. Great Vibe, really well balanced sonically. Great over dubs. I yearn to mix my over dubs that well. Maybe if I didnt leave them or last. Not much bad to say about this one. VOTE.

Seemanski NIce psycn..syncomentat...syncopata....great intro guitar. Holy cow, Im getting a big Brad Sucks vibe off this. Great groove, really great groove. Wheres my bass though??? You got some shades of NIN in here to. I like the production, but Im missing a lower end in this whether it be from synth or a bass or just in the mix, I feel its missing the low end.

Jeff DeSantisHow calming.....What! another surprise "fuck off" in a song fight entry. Very nice start to the tune. Well mixed. You have a real solid voice and great lyrics, but it dragged. It needs something to break it up a smidge. I fine with the tempo being slow, but how it was presented didnt keep me interested.

WreckdoM Im not sure what to write about this. Im just caught up listening to it. Lots going on, but all distinguishable. Its not a sing along sort of thing, but its still working for me. The chorus ties stuff together in a raggedy old bow. From Hifi to LoFi in the blink of an eye. Nice.

Nightsky This is a bit chuggy, I'd like to hear a bit of a looser approach to it. The horn playing is magnificent, and really makes the song. The overal mix is good, and vocals sit clearly.

Hardmonica Good Mix, Really dig that picking riff that opens the song. WOuld like tp hear thi guitars up a bit in the mix. Great lyrics. BRA! Solid Chorus , and the background AAAAAAHs fill it up nicely. A bridge?? Im jealous... I ran out of time for a bridge. VOTE

[Sober]

Gave a quick skim through. Listening on boomy speakers with very little stereo separation. In cases where I mention mud, I popped my mix headphones on to confirm, and yes there is a lot of mud in this fight.

Brown Word and the Big Whine: Fun as always, and good job getting the tuba to remain discernible.

Glenn Case: Sounding solid as always. Fun chord progression. Rhythm seems to waver a little here and there.

Hardmonica: Fun Beatles/Paul Simon sound. Great pop sensibility. The bass sound is super boxy and plunky - scoop 100-400hz, boost 60-80hz, and compress the hell out of it.

Jake DeLorey: Fun ZZ Top/Foreigner feel. Could use some more vocal takes on the chorus. A little more time automating volume and/or compression would make the vocal sit better, as it's getting buried. Guitar tone is great. Cut the harmonica solo down - you can only hide so much behind delay. Hate the lack of a real ending.

Jeff DeSantis: The kick that falls on 3 of every other 3/4 is too loud. Even if it's in perfect time, that'll make it sound rushed - bring it way down or kill it altogether. Vocal is perhaps a little too out front. Lots of bus noise on this, or maybe it's just single coil guitar buzz. Could do without the laser zaps.

Night Sky: Classic songfight sound. I like this a lot more than your Good Trouble entry. Spend a few hours watching music production youtube - you have all the pieces you need to make something that sounds great. As is, this sounds almost like a bounce that's been leveled and nothing else.

Paco del Stinko: I think I've figured out what about your tracks stops me - the drums have a very start and stop feel, where I'm wishing for a standard punk kick-snare-double kick-snare in an even time. Definitely a signature of your sound. I'd like to hear your lead vocal up a little compared to your harmonies as well.

seemanski: Rhythym falls off the beat quite a bit. Vocal sounds phenomenal as always. Crunchy guitar tone sounds awesome, but is a bit hot in the mix. You have great funk sensibilities, and it's a welcome addition to the songfight landscape. Tighten this up and maybe give the drums a little more Chad Smith, especially when the riff ascends on the off beats.

Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist: Kick gets lost in the mud. Triangle is too loud - feel like your tracks often have some kind of high frequency knife stabbing me in the ear. Maybe it's your monitoring situation. Weird crescendo in the middle of your guest rapper's verse, and again later. Like, it feels like the master fader is moving; it's very weird. The two voices sound too different, like they weren't cut for the same track. The bones of this track feel like the best I've heard from you so far, but you really have to get a handle on your mix.

Vom Vorton: Classic songfight mushmix. Fun song - all the parts are well performed, and I like the arrangement. Mix needs work though.

WreckdoM: The vocal is muddy and the delivery is lackluster compared with my Wreckdom expectations. Kooky as usual, but I gotta hear the funny stuff if I'm gonna sit through a Wreckdom track.

Good little fight here. Great improvement from Night Sky. Really fun tunes from Hardmonica, seemanski and Vom Vorton. Glenn edges out seemanski, though with some rhythm and mix tweaks I think seemanski would be my top pick here.

[mholland]

I'm pretty new here, so this is my first set of reviews. I have tons to learn about all of the disciplines involved in music production, but I think I have a pretty good sense of composition and musicality, so that's my focus in reviews.

Brown Word and the Big Whine: Dig the tuba, the overall composition, and the lyrics. Would like to hear a little more interest in the vocal melody, seems to mostly descend with the bass line.

Glenn Case: Love the atmosphere off the bat, and the pop feel of the vocals/drums/guitar is a nice contrast to the lo-fi Tom Waits-ish sound of the intro. Great vocals, especially the backing harmonies. I could have handled a longer instrumental at the end. Kind of feels like it's about to pick up some energy, then the song ends.

Hardmonica: Really like the main acoustic guitar riff and the interaction of the (two, three?) guitar parts. Nice vocals throughout, especially the melody and backing vocals in the chorus.

Jake DeLorey: I like that this has a sort of relaxed feel that doesn't sound sloppy. Love the harp solo. Talkbox or vocoder rhythm part is cool. Would have liked a more satisfying ending.

Jeff DeSantis: This song puts me behind the wheel of a 60s convertible driving through the Mojave desert. Joshua trees, dust, bad feelings, and the open road. You pulled off a slow, gentle vocal nicely. I really like the bridge melody, and it felt like an anthem swell was coming on for a second there. Some lead instrument support starting in the opening at 2:45 could really lift it in a big way. If I was playing sax with this, I would come in with an ascending/crescendoing line there, and not quite step on the vocal, then come back in with the next opening and resolve the thought.

Night Sky: This is me. I'm massively appreciative of the feedback I've received here over my first three fights, and am gratified that my incremental improvements are being heard. I'm glad folks seemed to enjoy the (soprano) sax, though I agree with a previous comment that it wasn't particularly inspired in places, especially where I was just playing root notes or doubling the vocal melody. The things that bugged me the most were (1) the sax and vocal were out of tune at times, and (2) of the embarrassingly many takes I recorded of the solo, the one that had the best overall contour and most interesting moments had some flubs that I really didn't like, but I used it anyway.

Paco del Stinko: I enjoy the sheer bombast and enthusiasm of this, though I have to keep the volume down to avoid sensory overload. Theremin bonus. Takes me back to high school and the edgier tracks of They Might be Giants. If those existed. I have the impression that they did, but can't name one.

seemanski: I really enjoyed this one. Great guitar tone. I don't think I would ever write a song like this, but it has a lot of elements that I would use if I could actually play guitar. I would go to this band's show.

Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist: Not my style at all, but the music is effective, and I like the lyrics. Enjoyed the guest verse.

Vom Vorton: Solid, catchy, fun, clever. This sounds like a song a former bandmate of mine would have written, and I would have come in and stepped on his carefully arranged guitar parts with the wrong harmonica. I know this doesn't mean anything to you, but if Irwin is reading this, know what I mean? Very nice and cleanly executed.

WreckdoM: I like the dopey spoken parts and the "no they won'ts," also, "hoodwinked xenophobe cheering on Satan." I wish the sung parts were a little more tuneful, but I think this is a WreckdoM aesthetic thing that's just not quite on my wavelength. Enjoyable, overall.

[Sober]

I'm pretty new here, so this is my first set of reviews. I have tons to learn about all of the disciplines involved in music production, but I think I have a pretty good sense of composition and musicality, so that's my focus in reviews.

We're glad to have you. Don't be surprised if people start hitting you up for horns. I might!

Night Sky: This is me. I'm massively appreciative of the feedback I've received here over my first three fights, and am gratified that my incremental improvements are being heard. I'm glad folks seemed to enjoy the (soprano) sax, though I agree with a previous comment that it wasn't particularly inspired in places, especially where I was just playing root notes or doubling the vocal melody. The things that bugged me the most were (1) the sax and vocal were out of tune at times, and (2) of the embarrassingly many takes I recorded of the solo, the one that had the best overall contour and most interesting moments had some flubs that I really didn't like, but I used it anyway.

On the last point - watch some videos on "comping." This is where you're slicing together segments of different takes to make a new composite of the best parts of all the other takes. Most DAWs should have a workflow for doing this easily.

Not only do you not have to worry about nailing the whole solo in one shot, but you can actually loop record shorter parts of the solo, so you can really nail a four measure segment, for example. I comp every single instrument I record. Bass is quick and easy; vocals take the longest. Look forward to hearing more!

[mholland]

Thanks for the welcoming words and hints, Sober. I'd be happy to be hit up for horns. I came here in large part to motivate myself to learn to arrange horn parts.

Re: punching in and compositing takes, I'm definitely aware, but I'm very much on the steep part of the learning curve. For my first three fights I was using GarageBand, and based on your earlier feedback on noticeable cut and pastes, for this one I went through a whole rigamarole that involved arranging my guitar takes into two separate tracks with overlaps, bouncing each of them to audio files the length of the full song, crossfading in Audacity, and then bringing them back into GarageBand. This after wasting a ton of time trying to manually crossfade with volume automation in GB. After that experience I plunked down for Logic Pro, but of course there's a lot to learn. So all of this was easier for the next fight, but I have a feeling you'll be pulling me aside sometime next week to say, "Son, your mix is muddy, we need to talk about EQ."

I really can't say enough how much I appreciate the thoughtful input. Thank you.

[Sober]

It's a never-ending learning process for sure. Now that you have Logic, you should be able to do just about anything you see talked about in youtube videos. I know Andrew Huang is a Logic guy. Keep it fun!

[Lunkhead]

Glenn Case ties with Sweeney Toad feat. Banditt the Ill Alchemist!

[vowlvom]

Let's call it a... something. Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, congrats Glenn and Sweeney!

[SweeneyToad]

Let's call it a... something. Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, congrats Glenn and Sweeney!

Thank you! This is my first official win under the Sweeney Toad name, definitely an honor to tie with Glenn Case! <3