No Humorous Title For You! (Ain't Gettin' Any Reviews)

[Alacron]

I'll be jiggered if my first reviews in months go unappreciated because of a forum change. So here they are in their uncut entirety, and I stand by my arbitrary grading system, just like that English teacher you hated.

Astrolamb- Whoa, guitar is really out of tune. You need real drums, man, or at least some better fake ones. But hey, I'm living in a big glass house on that one, so moving on... the song is good, vocals are good in a Cobainesque way, overall a good effort. Song: B- Performance: C Production: C-

DWG: I'm beginning to long for the days of CKHB. OK, some constructive criticism: Stop sucking. Song: F- Performance: F- Production F-

Marty Conlon- I was bored until the Spanish cursing. I'm not sure what to think now... but that last 30 seconds would make a great kids' show theme! Song: D+ Performance: B- Production: B

Special Relatives- Some distortion OK. Distortion on everything, not OK. Lose some on kick drum and vocals. It's obvious some actual effort was put into this, but the rapping over synths ain't really my thing. I do like most of the freaky unconventional guitar work. Song: C Performance: B Production: C

Squirrel Damage- To:Your Blackened Soul,
I'm diggin' it. If I had to nitpick I'd say work on expanding your vocal range so you sound more solid on your higher notes. But this is a groovy tune with nice harmonies and instrumentation, and well-mixed (although I don't care for that weird fluttery synth at the end, it doesn't really go with the organic feel you've got established). Basically, this style is my thing, so I have to be biased toward it. Cow Exchange better wow me. Song: A- Performance: B+ Production: B+

Cow Exchange- Heh. You silly kids and your tomfoolery. This could work well as a Hot Pockets jingle or something like that. Energetic, funny, nice rhyme scheme (matter to consume/platters to resume)! I’d bet on this one to win, so I think I’ll vote for SD.
Song: B+ Performance: A- Production: A

And there was much rejoicing.
~~

[HeuristicsInc]

just a mini-list.

1: squirrels
2: astrolamb, cowex, specrel

not too excited about this fight. oh well! i'll vote for squirrels.
-bill