FILE YOUR TPS REPORTS (The Pawnbrokers's Daughter Reviews)

Post by **Spud** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 7:53 am

You want a clever thread title, make a damned thread.

JB SEZ: HA! CLEVERNESS ACHIEVED!

joshw · Post by **joshw** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 8:45 am

Spud wrote:JB SEZ: HA! CLEVERNESS ACHIEVED!

Yeaaaahhhhh..... I'm gonna have to go ahead and... disagree with you.

feldspar · Post by **feldspar** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 1:39 pm

First reviews of the year! Ha! I am teh best at teh internet!

Abominominous: Dude, this song is fourteen minutes long. But upon listening to the whole thing, I'm pretty sure it couldn't be any shorter. [good]

Beowulf Kingsley: The intro was almost surf-rocky. Then your voice is creepy and it kills the vibe. Sing with more energy. Decent solo. [okay]

The BeWells: Nice guitar. Your voice works well in this. Well-done song, just kinda falls short of catching my interest. Although the lead guitar comes close.[okay]

Eight Legged Oedipus: Nice bass in the intro. Hooked me right away. Vocals need to be mixed higher, or I think rather the instruments should be lower. Your lyrics sound awesome, but I can't hear them clearly enough. [good]

Feldspar: Just a side note, I find it odd that between writing this Friday morning and listening to it today, my entire outlook on life has totally changed and now this is rather entertaining.

Josh Woodward: I love the repeating chorus. You sound like you're tying to hard to keep your voice low and mumbly. I don't know. Sometimes it works, sometimes, not so much. This song sounds like it would be terribly boring if it were done by anyone else, but your performance is what really makes it [good].

Kamakura: You should use like, notes when you sing. That's just scary. Piano is all right, organ's pretty nice, vocals scare the Cowboy Jesus out of me. [bad]

Level Nivelo: Accordion! Twenty points right off the bat. Vocals are too sleepy and mixed too low. This would be a [bad], but those bonus points push you up to [okay].

The Miasmatics: Boomy echoy vocals, boringy guitar, no thank you. [bad]

Puce: The first thirty seconds of this are pure awesome. And then the next two and a half minutes are almost just as good. The last seven seconds rocks too.[good]

Rule 6: Guitar tone kind of doesn't work. Vocals are kind of... tinny? I don't think that's the right word, but they don't sound too nice. It's pretty well-written, so I don't think I can call this bad, but it is definitley not good, either. [okay]

Stephen B.: Wow. Mix the drums a little lower, and this would be even better. But I don't think I can complain too much. Great guitar. Great voice. You, sir, get a [good].

My vote: Josh, Abom, Puce, or Stephen B. This is the hardest decision I've had to make all year. Gosh. Uhm. Hmm. Puce gets it.

Adam! · Post by **Adam!** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 5:03 pm

Feldspar: Sweet, thanks!

Because you were so nice to me, have a present. A short story shorter: I usually encode mp3s at a VBR (min at 128, max of 192). I decided for once not to be a dick, so I encoded this song at 128 CBR, and then submitted without listening. I don't know if I'm just an elitist or what, but the version I submitted sounds terrible to my ears. Here is a VBR encoding of the same song.

Reviews will come soon.

Adam! · Post by **Adam!** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 9:24 pm

<center>And here they are!</center>
Relay-race style reviews: The best song will carry the baton of awesomeness until it is passed by a better song. Also including old-Woodward style marking. Note: the mark reflects how much I like it.

Abominominous: Totally impressive work. Heh, at first I thought there must be some kind of encoding / mp3 error, but nope. And to think I felt bad about submitting a 3 megabyte mp3.

. The percussion is tight. At 7:30 is the first moment this has gotten boring. Thankfully it’s followed by a nice changeup. Damn this is funky. 10:20, time for a bathroom break. Those last 4 minutes are hard to get through. The compression is obvious with the sudden noise burst at the end. B+ [Baton Holder]

Beowulf Kingsley: Oww, my ears! Instantly forgettable. The bells are fighting the guitars and they are all fighting my ears. I don’t like the lyrics. I really don’t like the quiet vocal delivery. Long. The electric guitar is well played but poorly recorded. In fact, the whole recording is really terrible. C

Be Wells: This song is really pretty. Very professional sounding electric: what kind of guitar/amp is that? Though the singing is great, the vocal recording quality sounds much worse than the rest of the song, like everything else was done with a large diaphragm condenser mic and the vocals were done with a dynamic. I know it’s the vocal style, but I wish these were just a touch more powerful; as it is they barely ever rise above a whisper, yet they cut through the mix like a knife. B

Eight Legged Odiepus: Wow, the recording quality around here has jumped up. That bass line is a really ugly riff. I like the rhythm of the rap-y verses, like sugar ray / brother machine. The funk is great, but I think Abom has you beat this week. Nice bongos. There are some unappealing lyrics in the second half that cost you points. The ending sounds really nice. B

Feldspar: Eww, that acoustic has a rough plugged-in sound to it. I really like the chorus: there are a few fun turns of phrase in here. There’s some weird 45-degrees-out-of-phase thing going on in between the left and right speakers on the whole track. I’d like to see this live. Love the totally out of place vocoded craziness at the end. A- [Takes the Baton from Abom]

Woodward: This song is fantastic. Coming after Feldspar’s your guitar sounds so, so good. I can’t believe how you can make ONE guitar sound like a full arrangement. I love the synth and the bed of noises that show up in places. The chord changes are literally evocative. Even without the lyrics, I think the instrumental would bring about the same emotions. I think you and I have the same preconception of pawnbrokers. If Josh’s song is too depressing, feel free to listen to mine, in which the girl finds a different solution. A [Sorry Feldspar, Josh gets the Baton]

Kamakura: Sounds like Leonard Cohen’s latest with, if it’s possible, lower production values. And much worse lyrics. This song feels like it’s at 30 BPM. C-

Level Nivelo: The lyrics in the first verse are quite good, but the rest strike me as incredibly bad. Sounds like a midi. Fail

Miasmatics: No. The vocal delivery and rhythm makes this song sound very goofy. Worst recording quality in the fight. I like the lyrics in the second verse. D

ME: Sorry about the encoding and the mix, which were both done in the last few minutes of 2004. Listening now the mix sounds hella muffled. Despite the mix issues, this is easily one of my best songs. Filled with, to quote clayne, ‘ghetto synths’, as well as some ghetto beats. For once the vocals recording went really smoothly. Recently I’ve been including a completely improvised segment in my songs: in this song it’s the vocals and guitar from 1:10 – 1:30. Can’t tell if the vocals are too loud.

Rule 6: Ack, loud! Whew, and I thought my song was muddy. Sounds like this was recorded in a sock drawer and mastered with a hammer. I love some of the lyrics. The music is more well written than most music of this genre. With a much better recording this would get my vote. End is abrupt. Singing sounds vaugly like Starfinger. B

Stephen_b: Another song mastered with a hammer. Timing issues. Damn, at the one minute mark I thought this song was going to be of the Abjure! – Totally Digging Your Mom vein. As the rest of the song played I kept thinking “When is this going to get funny?”, but of course it isn’t supposed to be funny. It needs a chorus or a hook or something. Guitar is great. This is probably the first time I’ve been rooting for someone to give in to pseudo-incestuous inclinations. B+

Woodward gets it. Good fight, y’all.

EightLeggedOedipus · Post by **EightLeggedOedipus** » Sun Jan 02, 2005 1:50 am

Eight Legged Odiepus: ... That bass line is a really ugly riff ... There are some unappealing lyrics in the second half that cost you points. The ending sounds really nice. B

As this is my first official entry to songfight, I am glad to at least not have gotten razzed to hell. Yes the chords of the bassline are jacked. I was more concerned with rhythm, I just had this idea of a simple 4-1-2 on the bass coming in over the syncopated upstroke. My chords are almost exclusively awkward! How do Pinback do it so well?

The competition was very fierce this fight. My vote has to go to Woodward also, as it's both a well-crafted and well-recorded song. I can listen to that on repeat.

I dig that Capcom Megaman solo on the intro to Puce's take.

If it weren't for the recording and mixing, Rule 6 would have a pretty nifty entry, too.

BeWells definitely had the best track for capturing the mood of the title, with that quiet folky blues. Pretty well done, too. I wish I could hear the lyrics better on this one too. Mine were juvenile. I doubt that'll ever change.

bwell · Post by **bwell** » Sun Jan 02, 2005 2:22 am

I guess I should take a moment to introduce myself now that I've joined the fray. About three weeks ago I stumbled across this site while looking for songwriting ideas. I was pretty much looking to get more practice at writing and recording songs, so this seemed like a good way go about doing so.

My default style tends to fall on the folk, country, and bluegrass side, so this first attempt doesn't stray too far from that comfort zone. The "BeWells" pseudonym is an abbreviation of sorts of my last name...Blackwell. I was hoping to include my sister on this one (couldn't settle on an idea while I was visiting family over the holidays), but this will be a solo effort for now.

Puce wrote:Be Wells: This song is really pretty. Very professional sounding electric: what kind of guitar/amp is that? Though the singing is great, the vocal recording quality sounds much worse than the rest of the song, like everything else was done with a large diaphragm condenser mic and the vocals were done with a dynamic. I know it’s the vocal style, but I wish these were just a touch more powerful; as it is they barely ever rise above a whisper, yet they cut through the mix like a knife. B

Thanks. The guitar is a Telecaster ('99 American Deluxe with stock Noiseless pickups) played through a Line6 PodXT using the Hiwatt amp and Fuzz Face pedal models with some stereo delay.

The vocals and acoustic guitar were recorded with an AKG C1000S, but I did not realize that I had the initial levels set as low as I did. I had to add a bit of compression and too much gain after the fact to get things balanced out. I would have liked to record those again due to the extra noise, but I was short on time. And the vocals could use a little more power...I tend to be a bit too quiet and this was no exception.

It's been fun listening to all the different ideas and styles that pop up here. I will try to post some comments after I get around to giving all the songs a closer listen.

Duncan, of Level Nivelo · Sun Jan 02, 2005 2:06 pm

Darkest fight in a while.

Josh Woodward - Beautiful picking as usual. Rather hypnotic melody. Spooky lyrics.

Beowulf Kingsley - Like the 60's-style chimes. This sounds like Bob Dylan covering a song by the Shirelles. Nice "brass balls" line. Keen guitar solo.

The Miasmatics - Sit right back and you'll hear a tale... Like the Father Christmas shout-out; I assume you know that St. Nicholas is the Patron Saint of pawnshops. I wish this had more orchestration- just the guitar and voice sounds thin.

Kamakura - Sounds like early TMbG. Nice, but didn't really go anywhere.

Feldspar - This is great, especially the synth solo. Wish you'd kept the rhythm up between verses, but that's just me.

Rule 6 - ROCK! A little too loud; I'm getting all kinds of distortion. Nice rhythms. The lyrics I could understand sounded cool.

Abominominous - Bring on da funk! Good stuff. Groovin'. Pink eye and a hairy lip!

Eight Legged Oedipus - Nice band name. Weird song. It's all right, doesn't really do much for me.

The BeWells - Did you collaborate with Bobbie Gentry on these lyrics? Nice nice piece. A+.

Stephen B - Great opening. Loving this one. Great lyrics.

Puce - Janie's Got A Gun, Her dog day's just begun. Nicely done, though it sounds a little over-crafted.

Me - I really like my midi tuba in this one.

Andy Balham · Post by **Andy Balham** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 5:14 am

Now the opinions from the Balham jury, no marks as I’m no teacher…

Abominominous
Very competent funk workout. I listened to the first three minutes then dipped in at various later point to see if I was missing anything in particular. It didn’t seem like that I was.

Beowulf Kingsley
I’m enjoying the story, I was hoping for some good ones with this title. The vocal melody could be a little stronger and I’m unsure of the harmonies on the chorus. I like the idea behind the song and the backing is well done. Good work.

The BeWells
The vocal style fits very well with the style and content of this song. The lyric is well crafted; I thought this title would throw up songs of this oeuvre. The little guitar riffs in the background work well to provide atmosphere and make things aurally more interesting. Contender.

Eight Legged Oedipus
The change in instrumentation is well-received. The profanity needs to be delivered with more conviction. Meandered on in a not unpleasant manner without really grabbing me.

Feldspar
I find it hard to get past to hearing ‘Breakfast At Tiffanys’. A couple of points sound a little joined together. Interesting and unexpected instrumental section and good use of the word ‘libertine’. Well done, but not my bag.

Josh Woodward
Ah Josh, I’m trying to hear this song sung by Johnny Cash. The lyrics and the music are both excellent. Unfortunately the vocal style, not pitch, just doesn’t work for me. It sounds to plaintive, as if it wants to be felt sorry for. It’s a dark tale of injustice; I would prefer an angry, bitter tone.

Kamakura
The pace is a little pedestrian for my liking. I think I would prefer it without the repetitive drum pattern. I like the line ‘Child's eyes crave daily surprises’. The guitar solo reminds me of my own ‘style’, i.e. it could do with a more fluency.

Level Nivelo
Interesting instrumentation, very carnival-esque. I’m not to keen on the vocal style used and the use of the word ‘icky’. I quite like the idea behind the song and the take on the title.

The Miasmatics (Me)
Why did I send this in when I knew full well it would get panned? Well I like the lyric and my delivery on the final chorus and I may never get another chance to share a Bagpuss inspired country song with the rest of the world.

Puce
At last, someone has brought the rock. I like the delivery of the verse with the stops and the line ‘His hands are shaped like money clips’. There’s a really good difference between the verse and chorus, it give the song really good structure. I also like the final chorus that provides the dénouement and the final ‘knocks’ are a nice touch. Probable vote.

Rule 6
Ah more rock, if a little derivative sounding. Some issues with clipping on those vocals that slightly detract from an otherwise pleasant listen. I like the ‘scratched TV screen’ line. Fine first fight effort, I look forward to hearing more.

Stephen B
Starts off pretty country, but the vocal is that familiar radio-friendly tone. Nothing wrong pitch-wise, it just lacks a little character for me. Bold dalliance with the world of The Cyrus with the rhyme of ‘aching’ with ‘breaking’. Well crafted, but didn’t hit the spot for me

Top three in reverse order:
3. Rule 6
2. The BeWells
1. Puce

joshw · Post by **joshw** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:33 am

Scoring Key: (Production, Performance, Song)

Abom (7, 7, 5)

Ok, my player says 14:19. Please be wrong. :) The intro/1st verse isn't grabbing me at all. It's the most generic funk mathematically possible. Wow, it actually is 14 minutes long. This is really boring.

Beowulfkingsley (6, 6, 6)

Clippy production. Really clippy. The vocal delivery isn't working for me at all. The music isn't especially interesting, and the bass guitar is really out of tune. Not feeling this one, sorry.

The BeWells (7, 7, 8)

Pretty. Vox could use a deesser or less reverb - the esses really pick up the reverb. I like the subtle acoustic guitar touches in the verse. The electric is okay, but I think another instrument choice may have worked better. Nice chorus, the harmonies are very cool. By the second verse, I'm really wanting the electric guitar to go away. At least the louder blues licks - I like the quieter stuff. The lyrics are nice, but I'm having a hard time understanding them.. they seem buried. Nice voice, though. One thing that would really kick this into the next level would be a big middle part. The intensity of the arrangement was fairly constant, and by the end of the song, I don't feel like I've really been taken on the journey that the lyrics seem to want me to bring me on. Still, nice song and possible vote.

Feldspar (6, 7, 6)

This is nice and catchy. It feels like it's really by the book, especially in the verses. It would be better with a non-guy-and-guitar arrangement to add some other things to listen to during that part. Cool lyrical idea. This goes on about a minute too long to hold my interest. 3/4 torch songs seem to have a shelf life of two or maybe three minutes for me. Good start, though.

Kamakura (7, 7, 6)

I likes me the Hammond. The low voice is cool with this. More so in the verse than the chorus, and the chorus isn't quite as good overall. It doesn't really... say anything. It repeats too much, too. Add two points to the song score if you replace it with something as good as the verse. :)

Level Nivelo (7, 6, 7)

Cute. The music is great, the lyrics and singing aren't.

The Miasmatics (n/a, 7, 6)

This is fairly bland. The strumming pattern is relentless. The intensity never changes. The verse chord change is fairly interesting, but the chorus isn't.

Puce (9, 8, 8)

Finally someone brings the rock. :) Very nifty sound. Awesome production as always. The verse is pretty good and the chorus is great. The studder-samples are great and well-placed. This fight has been big on really long songs that don't go anywhere, and this is nice and short, and fits twice the movement of any of these into such a short time. One thing that sticks out is that the mix could use a little more low-end beef. Damn, you keep getting better and better. This is great, probable vote.

Rule6 (6, 7, 7)

Clippy and overly squashed mix. The vox are kinda pitchy, too. Nice melody. I like the first note of the chorus a lot. Punk music really needs real drums, though.

Stephen Bellinski (6, 7, 8)

Nice feel. There's quite a bit too much reverb - it makes me feel claustrophobic. The production is otherwise quite good. Great harmonies. The performance could definitely stand to be tightened up. Reminds me of Fountains of Wayne, especially in the bridge (a very good thing in my book). This would be a very possible vote if the performance had been tighter and the mix was less busy. Great song, though!

Josh Woodward (me)

Production Notes

Puce gets my vote. Good job.

SaxManRunning! · Post by **SaxManRunning!** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:43 am

Well, Here are some leaders in my book, maybe more detail later.

Abom- Though we've had our differences this reminds me of my Dad's cousin who preforms under the name James Chance, if you live in the chicago area, or newyork and possibly other cities you may have heard him. I liked it even though it was 14 some minutes with a stong base in one perticular set of riffs it was just dull enough to be good, ya'know?

Feldspar- Liked this too. Shorter. The weird thing is the couter melody, not really, but the background sounds, maybe some weird keyboard effect? I like the lyrics and singing. The guitar is fun too.

Josh- I've been off and on your music lately. Sort of like my recent bout with cheep cigerettes. This one is just as depressing as your spalding song and some other tunes. The guitar-play is your usual finger flying antics but the message in this one is what makes it a contender.

Puce- Electrofunktaction! That should about cover the review on that one.

Rule6- Preety good. Something about it I'm not a huge fan of, it's a contender because of the OOOOOOHHH!

Maybe I'll do more later. It's always easier to review the songs that you like, wouldn't ya'll say?

stephen_b · Post by **stephen_b** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:40 pm

Hey... i'm going to do a few reviews, and maybe explain what i've done and introduce myself.

My friend adam showed me this a week ago, and i vowed (before even looking at the site or hearing any of the songtitles) that i would win the songfight, first time out.

I had no idea the competition i'd face. heres goes:

Josh Woodward : This is really good.... kinda spooky though. It sounds like such a well crafted song, that i'm not sure why anyone would use it for something like this. Change some of the words (title) and sell it.

Rule 6: I'm not the biggest fan of harder-faster stuff.. and the vox could be cleaner.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

The Bwells: quaint accoustic ditty, i like the little lead parts with the electric, but not digging the "wisper pop" vocals.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Puce: Listen to Muse much? this is good. like the synths. but the "mad" sounding vocals at the start turned me off. its kinda cool when they turn into Female vox.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

abominominous: Oh my. Not a big "funk guy" and i'm most def. not a fan of the 18 minute song.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Beowulf Kinsley: Tuning issues with the guitars that seem to last throughout the song. and the vocals are a little monotonous.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Kamakura: I apologize to Beowulf Kinsley now... these vocals are truly Monotonous. and the midi... um... everything is a turn-off.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Miasmantics: really tinny sounding. recorded in a coffee can? and it sounded like you wrote to many words in some of the lines, and needed to rush the tempo to fit them all in.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Level Nivelo: MIDI MIDI MIDI... accordian is kinda funny though.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Eight Legged Oedipus Creative. I like this one. but... just not as much as Josh. way to work pancake cooking into a song.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

Feldspar i cant take the vocals and the overdubbed single note accoustic on top.

advantage JOSH WOODWARD

WINNER: JOSH

Adam! · Post by **Adam!** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 9:16 pm

stephen_b wrote:Puce: Listen to Muse much? the "mad" sounding vocals at the start turned me off

Do I ever. This song was meant more as a Mindless Self Indulgence rip-off, but I have been listening to a lot of Muse lately, and listening again my song is unintentionally biting their style in places, with the exception of the segment around 1:10, which intentionally sounds like them.

And yeah, I haven't figured out how to sing loud without sounding angry. Someday.

SaxManRunning! · Post by **SaxManRunning!** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 9:59 am

So stevey... You seem extremly critical of these guys out here for this being one of your first weeks listening and 1st time recording. Your track is good no doubt, you know what you're doing. It is muffeled at times and the transition later in the song (sorry for not exact time) is a bit messy at best. I've been listening to most of these guys since they primiered out here and taking the hammer to them, like your comment to puce and some others is the just the kind of thing that will make sure you never win a fight. I know alot of songfighters might disagree but voting happens 3/4 on music 1/4 on if they think the music came from someone who meant it and is really doing something with what they've got. I'm hardly the one to write this, seeing as I havent recorded anything in a long time, but I feel like I aught to pass along some knowledge I have gained over time with these guys/gals. Nice song for your first run here, it probably has some contention in it.

Post by jb » Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:13 am

Puce wrote:And yeah, I haven't figured out how to sing loud without sounding angry. Someday.

The Offspring dude pulls this off.

erik · Post by **erik** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:54 am

stephen_b wrote:My friend adam showed me this a week ago, and i vowed (before even looking at the site or hearing any of the songtitles) that i would win the songfight, first time out.

Cool, I'll vote for someone who isn't you.

Post by jb » Tue Jan 04, 2005 11:28 am

Stephen B, your drum track does not line up with your instruments.

stephen_b · Post by **stephen_b** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:21 pm

stephen_b wrote:
My friend adam showed me this a week ago, and i vowed (before even looking at the site or hearing any of the songtitles) that i would win the songfight, first time out.

I had no idea the competition i'd face.

Please notice, that i was just being honost about what i had said with my friend, and that I had ammended my statement (quoted above).

As for being critical... i thought that was what i was supposed to do when i was reviewing songs. Maybe cause it was my first time out, i should have lied and told everyone what a great job they did and how i liked EVERY song.

I'm not one to make enemies, i just figured an honost opinion was how this was done.

SaxManRunning wrote:your comment to puce and some others is the just the kind of thing that will make sure you never win a fight.

hmm... Puce wasn't so upset by it, why are you?

15-16 puzzle wrote: stephen_b wrote:

My friend adam showed me this a week ago, and i vowed (before even looking at the site or hearing any of the songtitles) that i would win the songfight, first time out.

Cool, I'll vote for someone who isn't you.

great... i'm glad that voting here isnt about the best song, but about not voting for who pisses off. (dont take that as me saying that "I wrote the best song" cause i voted otherwise)

i'm just glad that even though you all hate my arrogance or my blunt honesty, you liked my song.

and yeah...i've got no arguement about my drum track not lining up.
i dont program drums, and i cant play the drums, so i had to ask a friend to do them for me. he isnt a drummer either.

and that clicking at the begining and end? thats the metronome track that bled out of my headphones, and into the accoustic track. i think it could have been removed, but i'm just that sloppy.

jack · Post by **jack** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:25 pm

ite. let him in.

Post by jb » Tue Jan 04, 2005 12:38 pm

Yeah I was being snarky. Your song has the melody and structure to sound very radio-friendly. If it were polished, I think it would probably win like the Pipe Fist songs won. They had a very current-ish sound to them.

erik · Post by **erik** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 1:26 pm

stephen_b wrote:
My friend adam showed me this a week ago, and i vowed (before even looking at the site or hearing any of the songtitles) that i would win the songfight, first time out.

I had no idea the competition i'd face.

Please notice, that i was just being honost about what i had said with my friend, and that I had ammended my statement (quoted above).

As for being critical... i thought that was what i was supposed to do when i was reviewing songs. Maybe cause it was my first time out, i should have lied and told everyone what a great job they did and how i liked EVERY song.

I'm not one to make enemies, i just figured an honost opinion was how this was done.

Just because you're being honest doesn't mean that no one's going to comment on it. You made the decision to type the words in; you didn't have to include that anecdote. All it does is paints you as someone who is full of himself; not because you said it to your friend in the first place, but because you said it to your friend and then typed it in here (even though choosing to not type in that anecdote would have had no effect on the rest of what you were saying.)

hypothetical detractors who misunderstand everything wrote:OMG SO NOW WE HAVE TO BE ALL NICE AND STUFF WTF

No, I really don't care how rude you are to people, or how mean your reviews are. (Stephen B's reviews were far from harsh.)

erik · Post by **erik** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 2:19 pm

Reviews, so that I can feel justified in talking OT in the review thread:

Abominomifunk: Okay, this is a cool little thing, but it strays a bit too close to Eddie Murphy being James Brown. HOT TUB! *uhgghgh* hahahhaha, which of course, was done on purpose, I'm just sayin. Dude, is this really 14:00? Man, what the... Alright, I will try and hold on, and see how long I can make it. The arragement is way too sparse for how long this is, it needs horns and keys to really fill out the space in such a long number. I made it to the 6 minute mark, I'm sorry.

Beowulf Kingsley: Is this King Arthur? It has a very BiaBish midi flavor thing going on, and the affected Dylanesque voice makes me think that you could sound like something else underneath. Hmmmm, this kind of limps along because of the mix, like, the guitars are too loud, and the drums are too soft. The extra vocals on the chorus make it sound mumbley and unfocused, instead of really selling it. The chorus might sound catchy if you had one person singing it instead 3 (or however many are singing it now.) I don't really like this all that much.

Be-Wells: This is nice enough, but just boring me to tears. It's too much of the one thing and no awesome choruses. It all seems to blend together into a blur. I'm not digging this song.

Eight Legged Oedipus: Hmmmm. Okay. Kind of fun. Get on with it, though. Okay, there's the vocals. Nice, but I think it's a bit busy once the vocals kick in, by about one layer, although I don't know which one. (Maybe the one that sounds like the boomerang wah-wah.) The transitions to and from the busy parts to the dum-da-dum parts are cool. This song is okay by me, especially as background music.

Feldspar: Hmmmm, this is not bad, for a drinking song. It would sound cooler if, even for a verse, a whole chorus of drunkards joined you. And if you slowed it down just a bit. This song is about twice as long as it needs to be, I really thought it was going to be over around 2:08. This song is okay.

Josh Woodward: Nice playing as usual. The melody/chords sounds very similar to another meloncholy songfight song of yours... hmmm... *goes to check archives*... Hmmm, it was "Twelve Monkeys" that I was thinking of after the intro. Auuughghhg, where's the chorus that should come after the line "looks up to the sky with glassy eyes"? Not any awesome choruses in the song, which is not enough. This song is nice as background music, but I cannot get into it.

Kamakura: Too much of a Suessian rhythm to the words, and too much of a "play this chord progression 4 times" thing going on. I don't care for this song.

Level Nivelo: This is cute enough too, for a drinking song. Hmmmm, the chorus, I don't like it at all; it's not catchy and has those weinery lyrics. Hmmmm, the lyrics that I don't care for extend from there... "that into the milk glass does fall"? A thousand pox on your unborn children for treating the English language that way. I don't care for this song.

Miasmatics: This song isn't really doing much for me; the voice I don't care for, and then all of a sudden the furniture just jumps out of the song. This isn't doing anything for me.

Puce: Bigass sounds reign supreme, as usual. This is cute, I can dig this.

Rule 6: Nice, I just picked up the 4 quarters that I reserving "next" on the pool table and moved closer to the stage to see you guys play. "WHOAAAAA" YESSS Man, this is great. "Just because you're fucking my mother doesn't make you my dad" Man, that is an awesome line. "She couldn't ever be his daughter because she's only second-hand" Well, you just got my vote. Only song I've heard so far that makes me think "This song has to be called Pawnbroker's Stepdaughter, and could be called nothing else" WTG on not using the title in the lyrics. Get the singer to embrace his inner Danzig and his inner Milo, I wanna hear him croon and sccccreeeeAAAAAAMMMMMM Awwwwwman, end the song on the best line, just without anyone playing music over it. More songfight songs from you, please.

Stephen B: Very John Denvery, but it needs more hooks. Lyrics pull me out of the song, at key points in the song structure: like when you sing "the lady I'd call mom", it's building up to that line so I want the line to be one of more import, or at least sounds cooler. Same thing with "girl I'd been in love with all these years". This needs a chorus, STAT, just something that repeats, simple and nondescript about how there's this girl you love even though you know you shouldn't. Because without something which lacks such specificity, the rest of the lyrics are tinged with this unassuming creepiness, when really they should be seen as sweet.

TA-DA

Okay, now you.

FILE YOUR TPS REPORTS (The Pawnbrokers's Daughter Reviews)

FILE YOUR TPS REPORTS (The Pawnbrokers's Daughter Reviews)

Re: FILE YOUR TPS REPORTS (The Pawnbrokers's Daughter Review

Injecting my stomach on songfight...