Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

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Teplin
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Teplin »

Hey Jon, thanks for trying again.
Generic wrote: I like the simple sound of the guitar with the plaintive voice and the melody. Jan seems a little bit flat with the mix.
Could you expand on "flat in the mix" a bit? Is it a volume thing, or an EQ thing?
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by JonPorobil »

Neither; I meant his singing. On a second listen, I think the culprit is actually just one or two of his harmony tracks, but something is just a tad off-key.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by anti-m »

Boltoph, is that you in Cabin Fever? It's fantastic, in any case.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

I'm not in this fight, but I just came to say-
Major props to The Anarchaeologists. Pretty much everything about this song is awesome.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Teplin »

Generic wrote:Neither; I meant his singing. On a second listen, I think the culprit is actually just one or two of his harmony tracks, but something is just a tad off-key.
More likely than not, it's me. I sang an octave up during those sections to fill them out a little more. Don't want him getting the blame for something that I probably did.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by coder_lyte() »

Abominominous - There's a lot of different styles in there; some I really like and some not so much. Some of the tones in odder portions kind of clash. All of it is really well done though.

Adam Adamant - I like the flow of this. The bass line is pretty cool, it has good harmonies and a good progression. It's all a little to distorted for my taste though.

Anarcheologists - I really like the sound and vocals in the second chorus, and the guitar and rhythm after the middle point.

Berkley Social Scene - This has some great harmonies with the synths working along with the distortion guitar and vocals.

Cabin Fever - I like the reflector effect along with the piano in the intro. The sound you have is really close to what I was going for as well, but I like yours a lot better.

Chadderandom Abyss - Did you just say Donkey Show?

Charcoal - Pretty cool. Everything is well done, it just needs some words.

coder_lyte() - There are so many songs that have this kind of style with the piano and strings. I guess we all had the same preconceptions of a elegy going in. With a lack of good distortion effects for my guitar, I would up filtering the rhythm way too much since the high frequencies seemed to clash with the piano. It didn't sound as good as I'd hoped, and the whole thing is still suffering from poor sound quality overall.

Deetak - I love the music, but not the vocals so much. The piano work is great.

Dutova - I think that synth is to echoy to be that high in the mix. Great guitar rhythm.

Electric Needle Room - 80's style! Everything is the composition works together really well. I think It's kind of repetitive, and could use an addition part.

Heine - It starts off kind of slow. the parts with guitar are awesome; very Pink Floyd. though I don't care too much for the machine portions.

Howl Down The Chimney + Jan Krueger - I love your singing style. this tune is kind of minimalistic and repetitive compared with your other songs. The textures in the solo are really good.

Jan Krueger - I really like the style and melody. As I was listening it started sounded really familiar. Then I realized it's a lot like Cherry Blossom Color Season from Katamari Damaci. http://cherryblossomcolor.ytmnd.com/

Jim Tyrrell - Everything here is really good. It's really smooth, and I love the melody. It could use an additional part with a different chord progression to make it longer.

John Kloberdanz - Good execution of the folksy style. It's a nice short tune. but it is kind of repetitive.

Jonathan Mann - I can really get into that rhythm; Sounds like some game boy rpg music. It could probably use some brighter instrument added in there. There are a couple of parts of the vocals could have been done better. Pretty cool overall.

Jon Eric - The style of the song is quite awesomely upbeat for the content. The melody is really good, and goes great with the flow of the song. I think it could use some extra accompaniment, like some organ or pads.

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank - Bitches dont know 'bout my unoriginality, stolen one liners, and 7th grade jokes. Go back 2 /b/

Noah McLaughlin - The vocals kind of waver, and don't always stay in tune. Some different parts of the song don't seems to transition all that smoothly. I like the rhythms, and the harmony vocals in the last chorus.

Paco Del Stinko - It seems kinds of thin except during the solo, until after about 2 minutes. The solo portions do rock though.

Quimby - Everything here is awesome. Really good vocals.

Raised by Wolves - Great composition of harmonies and structure. I think the song could do with some more bass, but that's about it.

Rone Rivendale - You need to find a better way to record your guitar, use a metronome or some software to keep time, add some bass and harmony, and give your songs more structure. People would be more inclined to give you encouragement if you didn't have the attitude that anyone who doesn't like your stuff is wrong and that's their problem.

Ross Durand - the piano is really well done, but even later in the song there's not much extra. the dynamic doesn't change very much until about 2:45. then it starts to sound more complete.

Slats - Good vocal melody and guitar rhythm, but there really isn't much in the way of changing focus to different parts of the melody. or transitions between parts. The solo is good, and the final chorus with the additional guitar adds what sounds more complete than the beginning.

Stever Durand - Most of this sounds like a high school band, and I really can't get into that. I admire your use of live instruments, but not really the composition. And also, no lyrics.

Todd McHatton - The vocals are kind of buried underneath everything else, but all the parts sound good. It seems like the song is always changing, so it's never boring. I really like how the sound ends with the piano fading out.

Weakest Suit - This sounds kind of flat. It just doesn't change a whole lot.The guitar portions are fine, but it probably needs some additional higher frequency accompaniment to give it what it's missing.



Votes: Quimby, Jim Tyrrell, Raised by Wolves, Jonathan Mann, Electric Needle Room, Dutova, Cabin Fever

There were so many good ones
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by rone rivendale »

coder_lyte() wrote: Rone Rivendale - You need to find a better way to record your guitar, use a metronome or some software to keep time, add some bass and harmony, and give your songs more structure. People would be more inclined to give you encouragement if you didn't have the attitude that anyone who doesn't like your stuff is wrong and that's their problem.
Nah, you misunderstand. I don't mind an honest review. I have a problem with someone who says they didn't listen to the song and then says it sucks. It's not a review, it's just a flame. I've been thru this on other fights (way too many). If I complained about EVERY bad reivew I got well I would never have a chance to leave my computer. :P

Just want the same respect every other songs gets, a full listen. And thanks for the review coder.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by coder_lyte() »

Rone Rivendale wrote: Nah, you misunderstand. I don't mind an honest review. I have a problem with someone who says they didn't listen to the song and then says it sucks. It's not a review, it's just a flame. I've been thru this on other fights (way too many).
Ok, fair enough.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Ross »

Rone Rivendale wrote:
coder_lyte() wrote: Rone Rivendale - You need to find a better way to record your guitar, use a metronome or some software to keep time, add some bass and harmony, and give your songs more structure. People would be more inclined to give you encouragement if you didn't have the attitude that anyone who doesn't like your stuff is wrong and that's their problem.
Nah, you misunderstand. I don't mind an honest review. I have a problem with someone who says they didn't listen to the song and then says it sucks. It's not a review, it's just a flame. I've been thru this on other fights (way too many). If I complained about EVERY bad reivew I got well I would never have a chance to leave my computer. :P

Just want the same respect every other songs gets, a full listen. And thanks for the review coder.
Isn't, "the first minute of this song sucked so bad I didn't want to hear the rest," honest?
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by bambamoozle »

Rone Rivendale wrote: I don't mind an honest review.
I agree! It looks like more people don't like my song than do, which although I myself like it (I wouldn't have submitted it otherwise), is ok with me! I had fun writing and recording it, and you all are listening and giving me feedback. That right there is worth the effort. This was my first songfight, but it won't be the last!

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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by rone rivendale »

Ross wrote:
Rone Rivendale wrote:
coder_lyte() wrote: Rone Rivendale - You need to find a better way to record your guitar, use a metronome or some software to keep time, add some bass and harmony, and give your songs more structure. People would be more inclined to give you encouragement if you didn't have the attitude that anyone who doesn't like your stuff is wrong and that's their problem.
Nah, you misunderstand. I don't mind an honest review. I have a problem with someone who says they didn't listen to the song and then says it sucks. It's not a review, it's just a flame. I've been thru this on other fights (way too many). If I complained about EVERY bad reivew I got well I would never have a chance to leave my computer. :P

Just want the same respect every other songs gets, a full listen. And thanks for the review coder.
Isn't, "the first minute of this song sucked so bad I didn't want to hear the rest," honest?
About as honest as "The first scene of Twilight was so bad, I left the theater. This movie sucks."

Well maybe it does, but having only seen the first scene, you don't KNOW it sucks. That's my point. It's offensive to me to listen to every other song all the way thru and just skip past mine after only hearing 1/3rd of it and just labeling it as being bad. Maybe it is bad, but I wasn't given the benifit of the doubt nor the courtesy of finding out.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by jimtyrrell »

Well sure, maybe there are good things in it, but if a person is that turned off by the opening of your work, it's not their burden to suffer through to see if the rest is better. There's a Lightning Ear Fart tune somewhere in the archive that's TWO HOURS of white noise (or something like it). What's the listener's obligation there? If the first minute of a song sucks, I'm not likely to go back and listen even if there's something I like in it later on.

Your movie analogy doesn't work for me either. It's just as reasonable for the opening of a movie to be so bad that the rest isn't worth giving a chance. Even if it surprises you later on, the work will still be held back by the crappy intro.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Rabid Garfunkel »

...and one usually pays money for a movie ticket and can get a refund or some other remuneration for bad product.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Billy's Little Trip »

On the other hand, there have been many movies that start out weak only to turn into a great movie.

@Rone. Remember, Jon didn't just listen for a minute and say the song is bad. In the minute he did listen, he gave you advice. "you're too close to the microphone, you're singing WAY off key". In my book, that is helpful and completely true.
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by rone rivendale »

Maybe we don't have to turn this entire reivew thread upside down? :P

Post reviews ppl. :D
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Heine »

What a great fight! I feel happy to be a part of it.

Ross Durand - Good song. Everything fits. I like this organ very much.

The Anarcheologists - You are the biggest thing since powdered milk, baby for me it's true... Are you sure you aren't Budgie??? My favorite tune! The only thing to criticize is the voice effect (or maybe the bad microphone?) - it sounds a little like singing through a tube. But it sure was only intended to sound more industrial.

deetak - I like the piano, it's brilliant. I like the strong melodies, but can't get into the strange voices. It might be beautifully sung, but less effect would be more. The high strings sound a little too artificial. (Would it be possible to hear it with clean voices?)

Jon Eric - I dig the lyrics. The music is nice but maybe too light for this fight. (Oops, rhyming.) But I like it.

Charcoal - Hm... It's working. More for using in the background. I think it'll be great as a backing track for a report. Kinda Cantaloop to me.

The Chadderandom Abyss - Good mix, vocals are understandable. I think it would benefit from a catchy melody and/or a steady rhythm. But „random“ is part of your name and I think it is part of your musical concept. So, then it's o.k.

Cabin Fever - This is perfect. Everything sounds good, has its place. I wish I could sound like that. Still want to hear more.

Todd McHatton - Some fine psychedelic stuff. Cool. Some parts remind me of CS&N.

Abominominous - I like sound and playing. But by the end it's a little too destructive (to me). But I think a lot of people will get along with it.

noah mclaughlin - I'm a big fan of strong melodies... and here are some. Simple but haunting. I like the choir! Nice idea to sing some french parts (had to learn it for 5 years but everything's gone now). I don't like the drums, they sound too static. At least the first guitar could use some effect to sound more brilliant.

Adam Adamant - This would be a very cool song if the sound wasn't oversaturated. What a pity!

Jonathan Mann - I like the verses. Rhyming nicely.

The Weakest Suit - Yes! That's it! The hookline stayed in my mind. That goes onto my playlist!

Steve Durand - I admire your wind playing. Good mix. Where are the lyrics? Who was the burglar? :-)

Howl Down the Chimney with Jan Krueger - Everything's perfect. I'm still asking myself, why it won't grab me.

coder_lyte() - You've got your own sound. I like your piano and your guitar. Would profit from a clearer production.

Rone Rivendale - Quite patriotic. But I dig the lyrics.

Berkeley Social Scene - Nice as ever. Female vocals. I like it.

Paco del Stinko - That's progressive and gloomy! I dig this! Cool drumming and a mean mean voice. Nice alliteration.

Electric Needle Room - Maybe too many „The Honeymoon is over“. But beside this it is very catchy.

John Kloberdanz - Some real nice folk. „Oh, I can't be a lazy slob.“ (Well, if someone gave me enough money... But I'm only dreaming.)

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank - I'm not into this kind of music, so I'm not the one to criticize. As a break it would be funny - but making a whole song out of this idea is maybe too long.

Jan Krueger - Wasn't there a song by a certain Jan Miles like „Music was my first drug, and it will be my last“ or something? ;-) Yes, why worry?

Quimby - Yeah, this touches me. I like the arrangement and the gloomy feeling of it.

Slats - Yes, strong melodies, cool bass line. Your new software seems to make a pretty good job. I somehow have to think about a band called Clear Blue Sky and their album „Destiny“ - Does anybody know it?

DuToVa - It's like a flip side from about 1982. You lost that record. But this flip side was so cool and it never appeared on any CD. And now, 27 years later you search the whole web for a copy of it. I like the sound. Maybe it could be a little shorter to keep it interesting.

Raised By Wolves - Who put those beautiful melodies into your head? Great!

Jim Tyrrell - I feel kinda split: I'm so into this music, it has such a great feel. But the lyrics are so destructive. I'm afraid that some people feel like you've sung. Hm...

Heine - I fixed the drum loop out of the sounds of a steady working machine, a slamming car door, a cash register, air pressure and some metal. There's a gloomy factory versus that looking forward to having fun out on the weekend. I don't know if it works, because both parts are so different. Happy ending, kind of „farmer wants a wife“ (the other way round). I tried to do some guitar fills but nothing seemed to satisfy. So I let it be this naked.
mrbeany wrote:Heine: I don't know what farmers are like out in Europe, but here in the US... Family farms aren't doing well unless they're doing fancy-pants organic. Some family farms in the US still use outhouses -- the families can be that poor. Most farms in the US are big industry. I suppose I'm saying that the story just doesn't seem believable to me. :/
Here in Europe most of the small farms are into organic production because it achieves more profit. And most of them act from conviction. There's also the European Economic Community which subsidizes farms. But as you wrote: It's just a story. Couldn't get a better idea, this time.
Generic wrote:You don't sound 100% comfortable with your own melody. Keep practicing it; sing it to yourself in the shower, when you're walking from work to the parking lot, when you're standing in line at the bank. Just keep singing it to yourself, and it will show in your performance.
I will do my very best, I should give the vocals more time when recording them. But this time I wasn't too dissatisfied.
Thanks to everyone for the reviews.

I never gave so many votes at once. But it sure is a great fight. The order may be like that: The Anarcheologists, Cabin Fever, Quimby, Slats, The Weakest Suit, Raised By Wolves, Jon Eric, Todd McHatton, Ross Durand, noah mclaughlin, Berkeley Social Scene, Electric Needle Room, Paco del Stinko, DuToVa, Jan Krueger, Jim Tyrrell
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by No Horse Town »

Hiya folks, I'm back from a few-months absence (new house, money issues, couldn't afford internet for a while), and this was a pretty good fight.
Here's what I thought of th'songs, and what I voted for.

Reviews are in some kind of descending order, based on likey-ness cross-referenced with votey-ness...

Abominominous: VOTE
This is really cool. Better on the second listen, too. My least favorite parts are the very first long scream->thrash section, and "funky slime"<-EDIT, it's "fuck this life", I shoulda read the lyrics...-. But really it's all gold, cuz it's catchy and smart and rapid-fire. This song really makes me genuinely happy, no foolin'.

Steve Durand: VOTE
You illustrated the hell out of this title! Mad props. (does kinda remind me of the *giggle* star wars cantina theme, tho.)

Howl Down the Chimney with Jan Krueger: VOTE
The verse and chorus are both syrupy-creepy-sweet. I'm not sure if I want the chorus to change over the course of the song, or not (lyrics-wise). Chilly! I totally dig it.

The Weakest Suit: VOTE
Dorky and sexy. Don't turn your vocals up, they're just right. The chorus reminds me of Unwound (one of my favorite bands). I like this song.

Cabin Fever: VOTE
Aw, the delicate sensitive apt caress of this song is overwhelming my normal tendency to hate this kinda stuff. This is masterfully done - get your asses on a movie soundtrack right now. It does sound kinda derivitave, but I'm not sure from where.. fuck it, this is great!

Ross Durand: VOTE
You come *really* close to nailing those swingin' vocal lines. I like "there's no way to bake ya". I think the Applebees mention is too overt, kinda pulled me out of it, but that's prolly product placement's fault more than it is yours. In general, the lyrics and their delivery are great. The music is classy... I can't find anything wrong with it.

coder_lyte(): VOTE
Legend of Zelda synth! Or that's what it reminds me of... shit, that automatically gives me bias. Ohhh, the lyrics too? Damn, how much bias you want me to shrug off? Pinback-ish. I like it. Your voice needs a little work. Bias or not, I enjoyed the hell out of it. Thank you.

Charcoal:
Cut it down to somewhere between half and two-thirds of its current length. I don't like the guitar near the end. Otherwise, awesome. As an instrumental, I don't think it's perfect for the title, but it's close enough.

Todd McHatton:
This one has the factory / industry feel, to good effect. The multitracked vocals provide a cool little poppy high note that I like. Near-vote.

Berkeley Social Scene:
The synth on the chorus is a tiny bit too loud/shrill some of the time(distracting), but fix that and it's bitchin'. The two vocals together sound a bit better than they do on their own. Still, they're not bad. Maybe the guy's delivery needs a little work. I think the synth makes the song. The guitar solo is pretty good.

deetak:
I like the piano movement. This seems to fit the title, but then again, I have no idea what the hell you're singing <-EDIT- OK, again, I should've checked the lyric thread. D'oh!- ... I enjoyed it, though.

Jim Tyrrell:
I really don't dig this kinda song much, but I think you did a good job. Sounds like it could be anthemic / drunken-sing-a-long-ish if it just had some kinda intangible something. I like "well fed snake". Good one.

Adam Adamant:
I like the fuzzy bass, both the tone and execution. I think the vocals need to be smoother tho. High shrill synth is a little loud? "We need a little industrial action". Nice.

Paco Del Stinko:
Early croaky vocal delivery isn't so good. It gets better after that, but still not all the way there. However, I love what you're singing towards. I don't think the music's angry enough to keep up with the vocals. It's got plenty of groove, but not enough violence. Otherwise the music is fun.

Quimby:
Well-done, but not my thing. However, if you could gradually work it up into a frenzied devilish hoedown, I'd love it. I think the potential is there, but hey, that's just my opinion. Frontgal's voice is hella nice. Not sure what else to say.

Jon Eric:
Violent Femmes + Talking Heads? Voice isn't perfect, but it's ambitious, and it's on it's way there. I like it, but it's too repetitive for such an overt song.

Raised By Wolves:
The lyric/vocal delivery/synergy on the chorus bugs me, maybe more than it should. ("lost paths of glory and THE... twisted girders and THE... attempted murder OF...") The emphasis is always on these empty little words! If it's intentional.. artsy or thematic or something.. then I guess I don't see the grand vision, in which case, my bad. The lyrics are pretty solid and the music is nicely done, if a bit boring. Given the established feel of the song from the beginning, tho, I guess it might be unwise to rock the boat too much and risk breaking the spell... so boring might not be such a bad thing. Overall, it's pretty, but it doesn't do it for me.

DuToVa:
It's nice, but I wish it would either be shorter, or travel more places. I'd turn the vocals down just a tad. That descending bass riff is kinda cliche too. I think you should use it once or twice, and come up with some other stuff to fill in elsewhere. The guitar does some cool subtle stuff, and is great in general.

Heine:
I like that horrible shrill noise. You have successfully served the title - I can hear both the industry and the elegy quite clearly. Sounds Floyd-derivitave, especially the lyrics. Y'know, the change from verse to chorus is really kinda cool. Yeah, I don't like this song much, but I respect it. Singing could use some work, especially on the spoken-word-ish part.

Slats:
Pretty good. But that bass hook (chorus beginning) has been done to death already in music at large. Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if the guitar could be more.. frantic?.. chaotic? dynamic? something like that? I feel like most of the guitar work is kinda superfluous. Still, it's catchy, and mostly well-done. Overall, more enjoyable than not.

The Anarchaeologists:
This is OK. The guitar on the chorus should play something a little more interesting. Verse 2's guitar variation is a good thing. I dunno if the change (approximately halfway through the song) really fits all that well. I'd rather you stuck with the first groove, mutated it around a bit... it feels like you just abandoned it. I dunno.

Jan Krueger:
Playing that little lick at the very beginning was a good idea - makes a much better first impression than if you hadn't. Your voice(s) is / are too loud / up-front for me. The low humming is cool. The percussion is mostly nice. Lyrics, and their delivery, are hit and miss. That boing-boing noise near the end is terrible.

Electric Needle Room:
I don't think you should repeat "but now we don't care" early on - just say it the once, and leave the second half blank. Restrain the double-tracked vocals, use em a bit less. "It was fun while it lasted" comes off a little weird, I think it's the S of was against the F of fun.. just kinda makes this "sf" sound, kinda bugs me, I dunno. Just my opinion, of course. The music is OK.

Jonathan Mann:
Melody needs to be more creative. The song's not bad. But it feels like it's barely there.

Jon Kloberdanz:
There's something wrong with your mic or your positioning towards it or some effect or something. A couple of notes are braying at me and the rest are kinda dead. This song has production issues, and otherwise I guess it's OK but it doesn't stand out.

noah mclaughlin:
The chorus of voices and 'bleh bleh' sound effects near the beginning bugged me. I don't dig the vocal style, but I guess that's my fault. Something sounds wrong with that kick drum. The guitar bugs me too... it doesn't really *do* much. Sorry, I really didn't like it.

The Chaderrandom Abyss:
You might occasionally stumble across something cool in that abyss. But what you should do is reel it in, pare it the fuck down, and make a weird song. As it stands, this weirdness ain't a song by my definition, and it sure as hell ain't gonna appeal to most songfight types. That's fine - I won't slag you for being a crazy ass and having a good time. But you gotta ask yourself, why put it out there? Why have an audience if you're not trying to entertain anybody?

Rone Rivendale:
It really is pretty bad. You need practice, and some kind of singing lessons/breakthrough. Thing is, if you could get a better sound out of that guitar / get a better guitar, and play it with some skill, and learn to sing... the melodies I think you're aiming at, they aren't bad ones. You should focus on building musical muscle, maybe just learn a bunch of cover songs and practice practice practice.

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank:
I'm a little bit boozy, so I admit I giggled a little at first, but that's all you're gonna get. You're ripping off a cheesy fad. Get in line, you're another wack-ass "I'm a robot-nerd-MC with poopy-mouth" on Songfight. Stick it in your own beaver, and give birth to it elsewhere.
There's a place where a total stranger will give you their blood...
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Paco Del Stinko
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Paco Del Stinko »

Abominominous - Slinky and herky jerky, what an epic. Anticipating parts that will repeat is given over to wondering what crazy section is next up. I'm blown away by all of the creativity in here, but would almost rather something closer to verse/chorus. Make no mistake, I totally dig this and I reckon that you couldn't speak without strain for a week. Still, I like where it goes in the start the best and wouldn't have complained if it hung around that neighborhood a little longer.

Adam Adamant - Nightclub minus reverb. I like the fuzz bass although it makes the rest of the song sound distorted, so maybe needs to be reeled in somehow. Good verses into a simple and effective chorus. The layers of synths are just right, balance-wise. I can easliy picture colored lights and young hipsters dancing to this. With a little more 'verb on the voice.

The Anarcheologists - Great intro. I like the main melody and dynamic drop to the neato chorus. The main progression has a nice edge to it with just enough darkness to make it feel sinister after the chorus. I like the second half of the song very much as well, although it make s me kind of miss the start. Great atmospherics and vocal work. I see this as one of the better songs this week and a contender for the win. Nice mix and production as well, would work well with visuals.

Berkeley Social Scene - Captain on the mic. Not a fan of the left guitars tone, but that's small in the overall picture. Nice catchy song with good hooks and performances all around. The chorus at times feels like it's leading to another section that doesn't come, like it's a pre-chorus or something. Still, effective and melodic. Nice solo halfway though a couple of the chords in the progression are a bit flabby. But nice to hear the whole gang here and easy to picture this happening up on stage, where it would no doubt run even stronger.

Cabin Fever - I say this lies somewhere between elegant and mournful or more likely both. Beautiful and the likely winner. The Waters-esque bass fits nicely under the great modulations and vocal work. I like the stately pace of this and the feel of ice coming via glacier, knowing it wil have its way with us. Well balanced and some great guitar by one of SongFight!s best. Great song and I am in no place to offer improvements.

The Chadderandom Abyss - Almost starts like a Saturday morning Creature Double Feature, but degenerates quickly into a cacophony. I like the guitar phrase that repeats a couple of times around 1:40, and some other tones as well, but this piece isn't grabbing me overall. Maybe I'm just getting used to your style. Hey, I know I'm no ground-breaker, but try something different next time. But at least it sounds like you, and that's a good thing.

Charcoal - I find this to be a very cinematic piece, almost Tortoise-esque at times. Industrial throb in the rhythm gets that point across. The high Theremin-like synth lines are great under there and offer up a feeling of uncertainty. I'm sure you'll catch grief, as you know, for lack of vocals, but this seems to fit the title well. Of course, anyone can read what they choose onto a title, so it's implied anyway. But this works well for it, I think. Of course, it's also suitable for vocals, so there's the rub from me. Ambiance makes it work although well played and nice sounding.

coder_lyte() - I like the rubbery synth lines under the stiff-ish piano. Nice guitar phrases as well. Bittersweet. I'm a bit disappointed with the playing games thing for some reason. I know that the song isn't supposed to be about, say, car manufacturing, but it didn't seem a right fit to the music for me. Write about what you know though, right? Nice melodies and the song gets its point across well without dragging.

deetak - Sounds like the factories of Munchkinland. I like some of the phrasing and confident piano parts, but the vocal thing is just making me say "what the hell are they going on about?" Neat effect/process, but huh? Like a band rehearsed a song for a play and then the Munchkins came in with their parts all wrong. Too late! The show is on! Neat sounds, but missed the target.

DuToVa - I like the 80's vibe to this and can see me doing this, although maybe not as well. Could use some developing like maybe a harmonized verse vocal here and there or on a certain verse. While I hear other voices, something more dynamic without crashing in. The outer space bridge is nice. How about an auto-wah solo, not necessarily on guitar? Fun tune with a nice whiff of darkness about it.

Electric Needle Room - Neil Young in the Trans era, minus vocoder. Glad that! I like the boopy rhythm of the verses and the chorus is effective as well. Nice simple harmonies add just enough spiff to keep it fresh, well done. There's a layer of cool on top of warmth here and the message is good. Yer right, the honeymoon is indeed over, or should be. Good tune with not too much of a Euro feel.

Heine - Dour and grey, appropriately enough. The acoustic guitars add some welcome warmth after the cold industriousness. I like when the guitars and rhythm are together, it makes a nice fit, contrasting as they are. This song feels a little draggy, though, and the spoken word parts are little goofy. Yeah, I'm a goof, so I know. The tempo is right and all, and I don't know what to suggest except maybe a very weird, off to outer space section or something. The bridge there now is good, but perhaps more of a "special event", in its place. Strong entry though.

Howl Down the Chimney with Jan Krueger - Nice tradtional type sound, dark and lamenting. I like the melody and instrumentation here very much. While expecting a deep synth to announce itself as the bottom end, the chorus and accordian/harmonica thingy sound great. Great little darkly psychedelic bridge, I'm all over that. Could even be scarier, but maybe for a song about mental breakdown. Next time! I like this a lot and see it finishing strongly. Nice collab, gentlemen.

Jan Krueger - Light, for you, I think, yet still retaining your already recognizable sound. Nice melody and of course, harmonizing. The guitar accompaniment is nice and I like how the chorus takes a turn halfway through and keeps going, where I thought it might end. The mouth harp is interesting, and I kind of scratch my head over that, just am glad I didn't have to play it as they feel too weird in your teeth. Nice tune, I like the way it fades away into the past as it ends.

Jim Tyrrell - What a grooving tune for such a dark theme. But as it goes, I can see great visuals for this: Like the camera is fixed on the narrator while the background, of deserted factories, etc, move by towards the past. Or walking with your hands in pocket through littered streets. Nice chord progression and rhythms, although they could maybe use a bit more dynamics for my tastes. Secret weapon is the nice backing vocal track though, very well done. Keep'em coming!

John Kloberdanz - I like this. You could be in league with Ross Durand in the U.S folk camp. The straight forward melody and accompaniment works well, and the workingman perspective is always a hit. At least on this side of the equation. Might not've hurt to have tossed in another harmonica, or other instrument, solo, but I also think that the song length is fine as is. Vocals could be tighter or just done singly and beefed up sonically. Nice entry and look forward to more.

Jonathan Mann - Nice moody and soft intro. I like the melody and subtle little changes that come and go, keeping it fresh without being all over the place and jarring. Overlapping vocal part is nice as well. Good tune, appropriately themed.

Jon Eric - Very eager to get going, this tune. Makes me think of JB for some reason, although not an imitation, obviously. I like the crooning type vocal part best, it works without straying into Cornsville. Makes me want an all vocal section doing something similar, maybe as solo/bridge section. Nice lyrical theme as well. Sonically, the guitar and other instruments could benefit from a little beef, but the song sells itself as it's a good tune. Glad you're back in the game!

MC Thaddeus Gunderstank
- Some funny lines in here, I can't deny. But this would work better as a get in and get out quick joke. Probably a lot of work to put together I imagine, so good job on that end. Music is a little wimpy underneath the vocal lines.

noah mclaughlin - I like the spooky voices on top of the main one. Nice guitar work as well with the picking parts. Don't forget your acoustic, Mr. Stillexcitedaboutmynewelectric! Put'em both in there. I'm not too sure I dig the tempo change midway. While not 'wrong' or whatever, I felt like the song was building up in an almost spiritual song type manner, or U2 ro something. Lost a bit of the charge there, I think. Still, I like the circuitous progression and vocal lines. God feel here.

Paco del Stinko - Extra quick and hasty this week. After saying I'd like to do all of the fights this year, I couldn't miss the second one! An attempt to be kind of Sabbathy, with octave fuzz leads. Satan! Oh no!

Quimby - Nice and moody, the chord progression is a good'un. Something sounds a little off initially, tuning-wise, but wow, your voice sounds great. Nice melody and the roomy ambiance on the drums fits in very well. I like the voice dry and up front as well. Nice theme lyrically, appropriate and relevant. Right when I think there might need to be some backing vocals, a harmony comes in. Might be nice with a more overlapping flow, but this song works well moving straight ahead and clutter free, I think. Nice little phasey end as well. Good tune!

Raised By Wolves - Yes, one of a couple that could/should win this week. I like the intro, almost the start of a corporate theme or something. Just missing some claps during the chorus. Why not? This is airy and atmospheric but still has a forward moving energy to it without straying into pure moodyland. I think what really sells this is the chord progression underneath the easygoing melody.

Rone Rivendale - I kind of like the guitar tone, skanky and loose. But the chorus part is awful while the primitive progression during the verses has a certain charm. The vocals don't necessarily fit well on top of the guitar. See if you can't make this fit to some of your digital offerings, in tune. Keep working at it as it's easy to play guitar, hard to play well.

Ross Durand - I picture Bill from Capital Hill waving bye here. Here's a buck for your piano top tip jar. I like when the organ comes in and warms it up a bit, although this is far from being a chilly song. Great change into the bridge there, and out as well, that may be my favorite part. Nice current event commentary and also, secretly, bass work. Very excellent, sir.

Slats - Made me think of the Del Fuegos for a moment there at the start. Maybe with a whiff of Blue Oyster Cult (which I've been accused of reeking of in the past) I like the driving bass line under the power chords and the lean, compressed sounding production, The howly guitar leads are most excellent as well. Overall, the song is decent if not a full-out powerhouse. Almost too demo-ish, just needs a little more POW!

Steve Durand
- Another great one, Steve. I really think you're on a tear this year. Classical industrial jazz. We all know about the no vocals criticisms here, but this really does a great job of invoking factory images with a funeral attitude at the end. Love the trills during the machine part into the decline and mourning. Overalls and caps on as the workers leave the factory, heads hanging. Absolutely fantastic.

Todd McHatton - I liked this better after a couple of times through. Bonhamy beat works well and gives a hint of menace to the lush toppings. It gets almost too active for itself at times, with all of the vocals coming and going, as impressive as they are. I kind of wanted to hear a single, upfront voice come in with the crispy guitar riff. Then maybe back to the vocal garden. Like Jagger dropped into the Beatles, but for a short visit. Still, very nice work all around.

The Weakest Suit - I like the distorto vocals adding their accents, but am not thrilled with the main progression. Sizzly guitar on th right is nice and the dissonant chords/vocals on the chorus are good as well. Nice how you start to chase the mood at the end, I think it would've been cool if you had kept after it or gotten it during the middle to return to the more mainstream sections. Good ideas in there.
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
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Phil. Redmon.
Mean Street
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Phil. Redmon. »

Hey guys:

I made a video for my entry.
Wanna see?
http://destro-simpson.livejournal.com/233880.html

Thanks!

Also, Paco, I suspect my next entry will be more songy and less stunty, but thanks a ton! Thanks to all you diggers of it!
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Paco Del Stinko
Hot for Teacher
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by Paco Del Stinko »

Hey, Phil. I humbly bow before you. Big fan, and just keep the goods a flowin', whatever they may be. Great viddy!
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
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mrbeany
Somebody Get Me A Doctor
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by mrbeany »

Phil. Redmon. wrote:Hey guys:

I made a video for my entry.
Wanna see?
http://destro-simpson.livejournal.com/233880.html

Thanks!

Also, Paco, I suspect my next entry will be more songy and less stunty, but thanks a ton! Thanks to all you diggers of it!
That is a great video.

I particularly liked the times when the small child walked in to the frame..
Last edited by mrbeany on Wed Jan 21, 2009 9:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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JonPorobil
Beat It
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Re: Sad, Somber, Strange, Mysterious(Elegy for Industry Reviews)

Post by JonPorobil »

I listened again while driving to and from work, and had the following observations:

The pitchy vocals in Howl Down the Chimney's entry aren't really bad at all, nor was I right about the pace dragging after the solo. I'll probably vote for it.

I must have taken leave of my senses when I first reviewed Noah McLaughlin's song; it's much better than I gave it credit for.

Here's a bit of Fridge Logic: In coder_lyte()'s entry, how come he'll "never play those games again"? Even if Atari had gone belly-up and the home console industry had bombed, he'd still have the games he already bought, right?

While we're talking about coder_lyte()'s entry: do you know where the name Atari came from? In the game of Go, you're in Atari if one of your clusters of pieces is threatened. Somewhat like being in check. It seems like there's the potential for some wordplay, if you're looking to revise your lyrics.

Holy carp, my snare is too loud. WAY too loud. Sorry about that.

I think I'm about ready to cast my ballot. I'll let you all know who made the cut when I do, maybe tomorrow.
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Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
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