Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
- ElaineDiMasi
- Alpaca
- Posts: 199
- Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:17 pm
- Instruments: vocals, keys, drums, english horn and er, guitarists
- Recording Method: pro tools/digi002, wavelab, the occasional tape recorder
- Submitting as: Miss Fancy Pants, Bootlegger Girl, Show Me Your Face, Chiron Return
- Contact:
Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
The results are in. You better sit down for this.
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
- Posts: 5682
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
- Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
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- Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
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- Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
The results aren't in yet. Heck, the songs aren't even up yet.
Way to provide an instance of the title, Elaine.![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
Way to provide an instance of the title, Elaine.
![Razz :P](./images/smilies/icon_razz.gif)
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
- Posts: 5682
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
- Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
- Recording Method: Cubase 10.5
- Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
- Pronouns: He/Him
- Location: Pittsburgh, PA
- Contact:
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
First-impression reviews.
Berkley Social Scene: The intro reminds me of The Who (see Tommy, "Overture"). Duet vocals are nice. As is the fingerpicking. The mix seems to overpower the male vocals, but that might be because I'm listening on my laptop's built-in speakers. The title feels a little wedged in. At about 2:30, I'm starting to hope you wrap it up soon, but the timer reveals that you've got other plans, so I just hope you shake it up. The guitar solo comes close to being the break I'm looking for, but really, I'm still bored up until the end. The last three chords provide an interesting diversion; I wish there'd been that progression to break it up earlier - maybe leading into the solo?
Chopped Liver Meat God: Your voice really doesn't do this track any favors. The musical backing-track is fairly complex and interesting to listen to. The vocals sound strained, and out-of-place to boot. Plus all the stops for cadence are really irritating. Some of the upper harmonies are out of tune. Once we get into the throat-screaming part, my genre bias takes over, and I hate it even more.
Elaine DiMasi: Starts out sounding very 80s. I was really expecting some robot-movie percussion to come in; that would have been great. Hey, your melody is great, as are your harmonies. This kind of reminds me of Laurie Anderson. I don't have very detailed comments; this feels very organic. It seems to flow where it needs to. Runs a bit long; I'm sensing a pattern. Possible vote.
Hijack & the Requests: Oh, boy. Right off the bat this is irritating me. I'm giving you thirty seconds to make this listenable. ...and... ...and... failed. Skipping.
Jon Eric sings Ross Durand: Hear the demo Ross gave me here. I added some na-na-nas as sort of a chorus. Put too much reverb on my voice, but by the time I noticed, I had already saved. Wonder if I should have double-tracked the vocals on more than just the last two lines? Such is life.
Mantzfield: Starts of dirty and chaotic, but will it stay that way when the lyrics/vocals kick in? Or is this an instrumental? Interesting; I didn't think this was a title that much lent itself to instrumentals. And sure enough, I'm puzzled about relevance to the title. Still, some very slick instrumentation here. The guitars are absolutely wicked. I look forward to hearing more stuff from you, though I doubt this'll get a vote from me, sorry. Runs a little long, too.
Noah McLaughlin: Your voice has such natural bravado, it doesn't deserve to sink into the mix like this. Why do your vocals always sound so tin-canny? Is it the mic? The room? With a cleaner mic, you could record a real winner. This vamping break runs way long, though I like how it breaks down to acoustic at the end. You might want to give a listen to the song "Next Messiah," by Jenny Lewis. This reminds me of it in places. Probably no vote, sorry.
Old Man Grumps: Ooh, the MIDI hurts right off the bat. Unless it's part of a joke, I think I'm going to have a hard time liking this. Raise that piano! And put a little mustard on those vocals! You sound like someone's forcing you to sing! Put a little oomph in it! I'm at about 2:00, and somewhere along the line, you fell off the beat, so now the drums are out of phase. Which brings me to my next point - was there no way for you to mix up the drum beat a little bit? Just a few fills to make it sound like you're not playing to a metronome. If it sounds like I'm being harsh, it's because I think there's a good song hiding under here. The lyrics are better than just "good" - I think there's actually something under here that feels like it needs to be sung, which is one of the reasons it's so frustrating to hear such a lackluster vocal delivery; you don't sound like you understand your own song's urgency. Argh. Probably no vote, but boy, step it up next time and you might be going places.
Paco del Stinko: I hate listening to your songs. They make me feel worse about my own, and on top of that, I don't have any criticisms to offer. Not even nitpicks! I vote for you almost every time. This is no exception.
Pathetic Wannabes: Why the silent majority is always so loud... that's pretty clever. These lyrics are busting out of their little boxes. And then it's over. Thanks for keeping it short.
Punch Camel: More strained indie-kid vocals. Yipee. There's a lot of repetition here. And then it's followed by a guitar solo that flirts with virtuosity, but ultimately lands on the side of grating. I can't figure out whether there's a good song under here. I might write a follow-up review to this song.
Rone Rivendale: Back to the crappy drum sequencer, eh? My advice, had I been in the room with you during the recording of this song, would have been to record that vocal melody as a synth line first, then sing along to the synth. You can always cut the instrument once your voice sounds like it's supposed to. Once again, your chords are grating and amelodic, which makes your lead vocals sound lost because they don't have any "right" direction to go. I try not to be mean, but I'm hearing the same problems week after week. Until you work on melody, your songs will never get more than a resounding "eh" from me, and more often than not, I'll run away screaming. But maybe I'm just not your target audience.
Ross Durand sings Jon Eric: Hear my demo here. Ross, you did so many surprising and wonderful things with this, I don't even know where to start. That bassline, even though it has a whiff of familiarity about it, is just perfect here. The relegation of my repetitions to background vocals. Those random accents on the piano. The eggshaker and tambourine. The general Barenaked Ladies vibe. The harmonies. This is just gorgeous, and upbeat, and catchy, and I love it. I know I'm biased, but so far, I haven't yet heard a better song this fight. Definite vote.
Steve Durand: Ah, flirting in the digital age. Ooh, strings to match the horns this time. Very nice. There's a nice blue-eyed soul vibe to this. I'd love to hear this sung by someone with a deeper, fuller voice. Is that the new grand piano? I never thought I'd love a song whose chorus goes "I'm not Spaaaaaaaam," but there you have it. This gets a vote.
Stolen Holiday: Nice first line. Pretty nice melody; it just might get stuck in my head this week. Accents on the banjo - also nice. The harmonies are a little iffy on the end; I think I'd have made the high vocals a little softer. Still, I think I'll be voting for this.
The Weakest Suit: That first chords reminds me of something... I think if I listen to it some more, it'll come to me. This reminds me a bit of Beirut. I'm a big fan of waltz times, but these fantasy lyrics are a little iffy to me. I'd love to hear you do more full-band stuff again. The "Bloooown Awaaaaaaay" bit is just crying out for some layered harmonies. Still, this is pleasant enough; I think you've earned a vote from me this week.
WreckdoM: Oh boy, here it comes! Whoa, that fuzzy guitar is HUGE. Nice funky vibe. The theramin seals the deal there. This actually reminds me of the first track on Thru-You, "The Mother of all Funk Chords." The belted metal-vox, I think, actually hold this back a little, but the recording is so confident and huge that I'm having to think really hard before dismissing it. I think, in the end, the lyrics keep me from throwing this a vote. You've shown yourself at this point to be capable of some serious damage, though. Great work.
I'll probably have to give this fight another listen. Some strong stuff, some that suffer greatly from very fixable problems.
Berkley Social Scene: The intro reminds me of The Who (see Tommy, "Overture"). Duet vocals are nice. As is the fingerpicking. The mix seems to overpower the male vocals, but that might be because I'm listening on my laptop's built-in speakers. The title feels a little wedged in. At about 2:30, I'm starting to hope you wrap it up soon, but the timer reveals that you've got other plans, so I just hope you shake it up. The guitar solo comes close to being the break I'm looking for, but really, I'm still bored up until the end. The last three chords provide an interesting diversion; I wish there'd been that progression to break it up earlier - maybe leading into the solo?
Chopped Liver Meat God: Your voice really doesn't do this track any favors. The musical backing-track is fairly complex and interesting to listen to. The vocals sound strained, and out-of-place to boot. Plus all the stops for cadence are really irritating. Some of the upper harmonies are out of tune. Once we get into the throat-screaming part, my genre bias takes over, and I hate it even more.
Elaine DiMasi: Starts out sounding very 80s. I was really expecting some robot-movie percussion to come in; that would have been great. Hey, your melody is great, as are your harmonies. This kind of reminds me of Laurie Anderson. I don't have very detailed comments; this feels very organic. It seems to flow where it needs to. Runs a bit long; I'm sensing a pattern. Possible vote.
Hijack & the Requests: Oh, boy. Right off the bat this is irritating me. I'm giving you thirty seconds to make this listenable. ...and... ...and... failed. Skipping.
Jon Eric sings Ross Durand: Hear the demo Ross gave me here. I added some na-na-nas as sort of a chorus. Put too much reverb on my voice, but by the time I noticed, I had already saved. Wonder if I should have double-tracked the vocals on more than just the last two lines? Such is life.
Mantzfield: Starts of dirty and chaotic, but will it stay that way when the lyrics/vocals kick in? Or is this an instrumental? Interesting; I didn't think this was a title that much lent itself to instrumentals. And sure enough, I'm puzzled about relevance to the title. Still, some very slick instrumentation here. The guitars are absolutely wicked. I look forward to hearing more stuff from you, though I doubt this'll get a vote from me, sorry. Runs a little long, too.
Noah McLaughlin: Your voice has such natural bravado, it doesn't deserve to sink into the mix like this. Why do your vocals always sound so tin-canny? Is it the mic? The room? With a cleaner mic, you could record a real winner. This vamping break runs way long, though I like how it breaks down to acoustic at the end. You might want to give a listen to the song "Next Messiah," by Jenny Lewis. This reminds me of it in places. Probably no vote, sorry.
Old Man Grumps: Ooh, the MIDI hurts right off the bat. Unless it's part of a joke, I think I'm going to have a hard time liking this. Raise that piano! And put a little mustard on those vocals! You sound like someone's forcing you to sing! Put a little oomph in it! I'm at about 2:00, and somewhere along the line, you fell off the beat, so now the drums are out of phase. Which brings me to my next point - was there no way for you to mix up the drum beat a little bit? Just a few fills to make it sound like you're not playing to a metronome. If it sounds like I'm being harsh, it's because I think there's a good song hiding under here. The lyrics are better than just "good" - I think there's actually something under here that feels like it needs to be sung, which is one of the reasons it's so frustrating to hear such a lackluster vocal delivery; you don't sound like you understand your own song's urgency. Argh. Probably no vote, but boy, step it up next time and you might be going places.
Paco del Stinko: I hate listening to your songs. They make me feel worse about my own, and on top of that, I don't have any criticisms to offer. Not even nitpicks! I vote for you almost every time. This is no exception.
Pathetic Wannabes: Why the silent majority is always so loud... that's pretty clever. These lyrics are busting out of their little boxes. And then it's over. Thanks for keeping it short.
Punch Camel: More strained indie-kid vocals. Yipee. There's a lot of repetition here. And then it's followed by a guitar solo that flirts with virtuosity, but ultimately lands on the side of grating. I can't figure out whether there's a good song under here. I might write a follow-up review to this song.
Rone Rivendale: Back to the crappy drum sequencer, eh? My advice, had I been in the room with you during the recording of this song, would have been to record that vocal melody as a synth line first, then sing along to the synth. You can always cut the instrument once your voice sounds like it's supposed to. Once again, your chords are grating and amelodic, which makes your lead vocals sound lost because they don't have any "right" direction to go. I try not to be mean, but I'm hearing the same problems week after week. Until you work on melody, your songs will never get more than a resounding "eh" from me, and more often than not, I'll run away screaming. But maybe I'm just not your target audience.
Ross Durand sings Jon Eric: Hear my demo here. Ross, you did so many surprising and wonderful things with this, I don't even know where to start. That bassline, even though it has a whiff of familiarity about it, is just perfect here. The relegation of my repetitions to background vocals. Those random accents on the piano. The eggshaker and tambourine. The general Barenaked Ladies vibe. The harmonies. This is just gorgeous, and upbeat, and catchy, and I love it. I know I'm biased, but so far, I haven't yet heard a better song this fight. Definite vote.
Steve Durand: Ah, flirting in the digital age. Ooh, strings to match the horns this time. Very nice. There's a nice blue-eyed soul vibe to this. I'd love to hear this sung by someone with a deeper, fuller voice. Is that the new grand piano? I never thought I'd love a song whose chorus goes "I'm not Spaaaaaaaam," but there you have it. This gets a vote.
Stolen Holiday: Nice first line. Pretty nice melody; it just might get stuck in my head this week. Accents on the banjo - also nice. The harmonies are a little iffy on the end; I think I'd have made the high vocals a little softer. Still, I think I'll be voting for this.
The Weakest Suit: That first chords reminds me of something... I think if I listen to it some more, it'll come to me. This reminds me a bit of Beirut. I'm a big fan of waltz times, but these fantasy lyrics are a little iffy to me. I'd love to hear you do more full-band stuff again. The "Bloooown Awaaaaaaay" bit is just crying out for some layered harmonies. Still, this is pleasant enough; I think you've earned a vote from me this week.
WreckdoM: Oh boy, here it comes! Whoa, that fuzzy guitar is HUGE. Nice funky vibe. The theramin seals the deal there. This actually reminds me of the first track on Thru-You, "The Mother of all Funk Chords." The belted metal-vox, I think, actually hold this back a little, but the recording is so confident and huge that I'm having to think really hard before dismissing it. I think, in the end, the lyrics keep me from throwing this a vote. You've shown yourself at this point to be capable of some serious damage, though. Great work.
I'll probably have to give this fight another listen. Some strong stuff, some that suffer greatly from very fixable problems.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- glennny
- DALL-E
- Posts: 2235
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:39 am
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Dobro, Banjo, E-Bow, Glock
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- Location: Castro Valley, California
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Generic:
Generic:
Generic:
Thus concludes my explaining of nuances to a guy named Generic.
BTW Thanks for the review! Very insightful!
Definitely hear that, but I think that's because there's a pedal tone and chords. You could have said it was Red Barchetta, or half a dozen Iron Maiden songs too. Chords atop a pedal tone seems to most famously take one to Tommy. Just like all octave riffs are deemed as My Sharona (see Hollywood Wax).The intro reminds me of The Who (see Tommy, "Overture").
Generic:
Are you kidding me? I was worried about the lyrics being too overt. I suppose I should thank you for assuaging that fear.The title feels a little wedged in.
Generic:
Thanks for the compliment, but there is no finger picking, there's some country flat picking, on a 12-string and Mandolin, I suppose all countryish playing = fingerpicking?.....As is the fingerpicking.
Thus concludes my explaining of nuances to a guy named Generic.
BTW Thanks for the review! Very insightful!
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
- Posts: 5682
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
- Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
I was actually referring to the prosody of the lyrics. "False Positive" doesn't scan well in most contexts. Thematically, you're just fine.glennny wrote: Generic:Are you kidding me? I was worried about the lyrics being too overt. I suppose I should thank you for assuaging that fear.The title feels a little wedged in.
Yeah, I hear countryish playing and tend to assume it's fingerpicking. Partly because that style is easier to achieve when you're plucking with four fingers than when you're plucking with a single pick, which makes it all the more impressive.glennny also wrote: Generic:Thanks for the compliment, but there is no finger picking, there's some country flat picking, on a 12-string and Mandolin, I suppose all countryish playing = fingerpicking?.....As is the fingerpicking.
You're very welcome!finally, glennny wrote: BTW Thanks for the review! Very insightful!
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- rone rivendale
- Odie
- Posts: 1761
- Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:51 pm
- Instruments: Electronica, nothing real
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- Contact:
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
You would sound less mean without making this statement. I haven't submitted to SF since March so 'week after week' of problems would be at best a gross generalization.Generic wrote:First-impression reviews.
Rone Rivendale: I try not to be mean, but I'm hearing the same problems week after week.
Nonetheless, I challange you Jon to go to my music myspace page http://www.myspace.com/mikebushmusic and listen to the 1st song on the list. It's called Backstabber. It's one of the best songs I've ever done. And I want you to post either here or thru PM whether or not you think this song addresses the problems you think I have 'week after week'. Keeping in mind, I wrote that song before you made this post. Thank you. ^_^
From spoken word to actual singing, I can screw up any style with style. ![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
- ElaineDiMasi
- Alpaca
- Posts: 199
- Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:17 pm
- Instruments: vocals, keys, drums, english horn and er, guitarists
- Recording Method: pro tools/digi002, wavelab, the occasional tape recorder
- Submitting as: Miss Fancy Pants, Bootlegger Girl, Show Me Your Face, Chiron Return
- Contact:
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
So when I first heard these I was all like "what a mediocre fight! I don't want to download any of these." Then more stuff grew on me with repeated listens and paying more attention. Still, I think this fight dragged a lot of poor melodies out of us.
Elaine DiMasi - The structure IMHO is severely flawed. Production aside, I don't mind the way it starts, the first verse melodies/lyrics are ok. I don't think the chorus melody is so great. Then the go-nowhere short verse and the bridge thing that completely drops the ball - final chorus a non sequitor. No idea how to fix it. Changed the arrangement from piano-n-strings to synths-n-things to see if that would chase up new ideas. Then I gave up trying to do anything, which is why the mix sounds hideous. Sorry! On the plus side, I got to play with my flanger/phaser plugins, which was kinda fun.
Hijack & the Requests - This doesn't lack rhythm, it has anti-rhythm. Like someone who comes to push you on the swings and pushes at random wrong times. No way would I let someone have their hands on my swing like that for anywhere close to 2:58.
Manzfield - Sounds like, "hang on I dropped my bong. It rolled under the - yeah, you just keep playing that while I go get it" [drummer hangs out] [guitar goes crawling under the furniture, even that really disgusting couch] [ok he's back] "ok man". As for title fulfillment, yeah, it's easier to get it if the title is "Racecar" or something and someone does an instrumental. All that said, this is pleasantly amusing to listen to. Until 2:54. Should've let us off there. The last minute is a waste.
Steve Durand - Lyrics are funny. Chorus is funny! "She never thought that I am!" makes the story golden. Progression is nice. Piano part is kind of lame but it serves the purpose. I really noticed the decorations in the drum arrangement this time. That's really melodic. But in the vocals, there's so many bad phrasings that don't sound like they were intended for comic effect.
Noah McLaughlin - I really like the way this song is built. I like the lyrics as well but as usual, at first it's a little frustrating to have to go and read them to get it. I'm not sure it's just the mix. I think maybe it's the way you phrase your singing that isn't much like someone speaking. If you tried to make them clearer, you might ruin that style I like so much; so I say don't! I'll read!
Weakest Suit - Lyrics: A+. Great job setting them too. A full band treatment would do everything else you needed to do. If you did it. Congratulations!
Paco del Stinko - Bringing a smile as usual with your guitars and your emoting. But you're not forgiven for a really un-hooky chorus and for like what you did with "put the knife in the back of their own friends". Still, ha ha!
Berkeley Social Scene - Band starts out sounding great, really together and setting a mood very well. And I automatically want to love all duets. Phrasing in verses has some rough spots and I think the chorus is very un-hooky. Structure of the song sections sounds good, as does the band arrangement (if not exactly a new invention), I think it's wanting better vocal melodies. Lyrics too easy to understand, for my taste.
Stolen Holiday - Good 1st verse phrasing. This is a really easy song to listen to. Ok, bad 2nd verse phrasing. As I think you were saying in the lyric post, a lot of your words aren't golden, and the music is simple, so there's not a lot else going on. I do think the way you're handling the "your side of the bed" parts is compelling. There's a sing-along there if you can upgrade more of the lyrics.
Ross Durand (Jon lyrics) - I like the music. I do not like the Indigo Girls guitar lick in there, it's distracting! No fair they should own that, but this recording makes it sound like they do. For instant fix, take that out or do it on the piano instead. Back to what I was saying. I like the music. I like all those splashes of color from jaw harps, harps, er... Here the melodies and lyrics and structure are simple, but solid and satisfying. One of the better feeling choruses in this whole fight.
Rone Rivendale - Oddly, this grew on me from its initial impression, sonically. Maybe because all the sounds in it match each other and I knew what to expect. The little hummed lead-ins before the sections of words are doing what I think you want them to. This fight has tons of bad melodies, but since you don't even enter discussions about the idea that songs might like to have melodies, I may as well exempt you from hearing about that. Your lyrics say on the one hand "living in sin", possibly implying fucking but not married, and they also say "beautiful but meaningless token", evocative of a trophy wife who does not fuck her husband. No one is ever going to gush about your lyrics if you don't examine, find, and fix stuff like that. We gotta do more here than rhyme stuff.
Pathetic Wannabees - I like the way Jon Eric said, "These lyrics are busting out of their little boxes!" I agree and to me that's a good thing - fun track and yes, the right length.
Chopped Liver Meat God - Takes more than a 7-meter to win me over, but that does help at the beginning. This setting of the lyrics doesn't sound good to me, it drags out too much instead of moving forward. The music is building and developing, but the vocal phrasing hangs back and starts to get monotonous. Too much space between syllables. No melody to speak of.
WreckdoM - Sounds like you were having a hell of a lot better time than most of the rest of us were! Yeah, I like a lot of stuff about this. Definitely. [walks out singing "pee in a cup, pee in a cup!"]
Jon Eric (Ross lyrics) - I guess I would ask for more development in this story. The frame of the music builds and develops, story doesn't go with it.
Old Man Grumpus - This idea is fine. The setting is mildly interesting. Sax solo is well placed and "I need you to show me" coming after that is pretty satisfying. Overall, melodies are not so great. They lump along at ground level, especially rhythmically. Hence, monotonous sounding by the end.
Punch Camel - I like to have much more music in my music than this. But the solo/loop starting at 2:05 is strangely charming. Is it because its sound fits in to the matrix so well, or because I was starved for another musical element?
Votes: Weakest Suit, Noah, Ross Sings Generic, WreckdoM, and Pathetic Wannabees. Honorable mention to Steve Durand.
Elaine DiMasi - The structure IMHO is severely flawed. Production aside, I don't mind the way it starts, the first verse melodies/lyrics are ok. I don't think the chorus melody is so great. Then the go-nowhere short verse and the bridge thing that completely drops the ball - final chorus a non sequitor. No idea how to fix it. Changed the arrangement from piano-n-strings to synths-n-things to see if that would chase up new ideas. Then I gave up trying to do anything, which is why the mix sounds hideous. Sorry! On the plus side, I got to play with my flanger/phaser plugins, which was kinda fun.
Hijack & the Requests - This doesn't lack rhythm, it has anti-rhythm. Like someone who comes to push you on the swings and pushes at random wrong times. No way would I let someone have their hands on my swing like that for anywhere close to 2:58.
Manzfield - Sounds like, "hang on I dropped my bong. It rolled under the - yeah, you just keep playing that while I go get it" [drummer hangs out] [guitar goes crawling under the furniture, even that really disgusting couch] [ok he's back] "ok man". As for title fulfillment, yeah, it's easier to get it if the title is "Racecar" or something and someone does an instrumental. All that said, this is pleasantly amusing to listen to. Until 2:54. Should've let us off there. The last minute is a waste.
Steve Durand - Lyrics are funny. Chorus is funny! "She never thought that I am!" makes the story golden. Progression is nice. Piano part is kind of lame but it serves the purpose. I really noticed the decorations in the drum arrangement this time. That's really melodic. But in the vocals, there's so many bad phrasings that don't sound like they were intended for comic effect.
Noah McLaughlin - I really like the way this song is built. I like the lyrics as well but as usual, at first it's a little frustrating to have to go and read them to get it. I'm not sure it's just the mix. I think maybe it's the way you phrase your singing that isn't much like someone speaking. If you tried to make them clearer, you might ruin that style I like so much; so I say don't! I'll read!
Weakest Suit - Lyrics: A+. Great job setting them too. A full band treatment would do everything else you needed to do. If you did it. Congratulations!
Paco del Stinko - Bringing a smile as usual with your guitars and your emoting. But you're not forgiven for a really un-hooky chorus and for like what you did with "put the knife in the back of their own friends". Still, ha ha!
Berkeley Social Scene - Band starts out sounding great, really together and setting a mood very well. And I automatically want to love all duets. Phrasing in verses has some rough spots and I think the chorus is very un-hooky. Structure of the song sections sounds good, as does the band arrangement (if not exactly a new invention), I think it's wanting better vocal melodies. Lyrics too easy to understand, for my taste.
Stolen Holiday - Good 1st verse phrasing. This is a really easy song to listen to. Ok, bad 2nd verse phrasing. As I think you were saying in the lyric post, a lot of your words aren't golden, and the music is simple, so there's not a lot else going on. I do think the way you're handling the "your side of the bed" parts is compelling. There's a sing-along there if you can upgrade more of the lyrics.
Ross Durand (Jon lyrics) - I like the music. I do not like the Indigo Girls guitar lick in there, it's distracting! No fair they should own that, but this recording makes it sound like they do. For instant fix, take that out or do it on the piano instead. Back to what I was saying. I like the music. I like all those splashes of color from jaw harps, harps, er... Here the melodies and lyrics and structure are simple, but solid and satisfying. One of the better feeling choruses in this whole fight.
Rone Rivendale - Oddly, this grew on me from its initial impression, sonically. Maybe because all the sounds in it match each other and I knew what to expect. The little hummed lead-ins before the sections of words are doing what I think you want them to. This fight has tons of bad melodies, but since you don't even enter discussions about the idea that songs might like to have melodies, I may as well exempt you from hearing about that. Your lyrics say on the one hand "living in sin", possibly implying fucking but not married, and they also say "beautiful but meaningless token", evocative of a trophy wife who does not fuck her husband. No one is ever going to gush about your lyrics if you don't examine, find, and fix stuff like that. We gotta do more here than rhyme stuff.
Pathetic Wannabees - I like the way Jon Eric said, "These lyrics are busting out of their little boxes!" I agree and to me that's a good thing - fun track and yes, the right length.
Chopped Liver Meat God - Takes more than a 7-meter to win me over, but that does help at the beginning. This setting of the lyrics doesn't sound good to me, it drags out too much instead of moving forward. The music is building and developing, but the vocal phrasing hangs back and starts to get monotonous. Too much space between syllables. No melody to speak of.
WreckdoM - Sounds like you were having a hell of a lot better time than most of the rest of us were! Yeah, I like a lot of stuff about this. Definitely. [walks out singing "pee in a cup, pee in a cup!"]
Jon Eric (Ross lyrics) - I guess I would ask for more development in this story. The frame of the music builds and develops, story doesn't go with it.
Old Man Grumpus - This idea is fine. The setting is mildly interesting. Sax solo is well placed and "I need you to show me" coming after that is pretty satisfying. Overall, melodies are not so great. They lump along at ground level, especially rhythmically. Hence, monotonous sounding by the end.
Punch Camel - I like to have much more music in my music than this. But the solo/loop starting at 2:05 is strangely charming. Is it because its sound fits in to the matrix so well, or because I was starved for another musical element?
Votes: Weakest Suit, Noah, Ross Sings Generic, WreckdoM, and Pathetic Wannabees. Honorable mention to Steve Durand.
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Okay, so where I did say "week after week," perhaps it would have been better worded "song after song." Oops.Rone Rivendale wrote: Nonetheless, I challange you Jon to go to my music myspace page http://www.myspace.com/mikebushmusic and listen to the 1st song on the list. It's called Backstabber. It's one of the best songs I've ever done. And I want you to post either here or thru PM whether or not you think this song addresses the problems you think I have 'week after week'. Keeping in mind, I wrote that song before you made this post. Thank you. ^_^
"Backstabber" has a melody. That was a pleasant surprise. Now, though, some of the mic issues are back, especially when you whisper "backstabber" in the intro. Also, your "bass" is too loud. I'd suggest turning that down and turning the guitar up. I do appreciate the way the chorus' lines flow into one another pretty organically, especially for the "Rush me from behind / you little backstabber" bit. I'd also work on trying to make sure the lyrics fit into the meter; lines like "You MUST feel so SAFE [...unintelligble...] you must FEEL invinciBLE / buti find your TACtics to be PUREly repreHENsible" feel really uneven. The second half, as you may notice from my emphases, feels a lot better because the words are being pronounced correctly. And I'll even go so far as to say that "Invincible" and "Reprehensible" is a good rhyme. But it stretches the meter out weirdly and forces you to mispronounce some of your words. It's difficult, but it is possible to tailor your words around the melody such that this doesn't have to happen.
Still, you're right. "Backstabber" is the best Rone track I've yet heard.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Hey WreckdoM. I've got a problem. I didn't really take to your track the first time through because I misheard some of the lyrics. Now that I've read the lyrics, I want to vote for it. But I guess it also matters that I didn't hear them right at first (I heard "play the drums" instead of "blame the drugs.") I don't know... I think you'll wind up getting a vote from me after all.
Also, Punch Camel. I think, in the end, what keeps your song out of possible contender status is the repetition. You've got two riffs and one not-very-melodic melody line with two chords. The two riffs are pretty good, when it comes down to it. I'd like to hear the "solo" riff played a bit cleaner (not much), but really, what's here is good. I just wish there were more ideas in this song.
I always find that my votes change if I get the chance to listen to the fight more than two or three times. It makes me feel guilty about the times I've voted based on one or two listens. One may never know...
Also, Punch Camel. I think, in the end, what keeps your song out of possible contender status is the repetition. You've got two riffs and one not-very-melodic melody line with two chords. The two riffs are pretty good, when it comes down to it. I'd like to hear the "solo" riff played a bit cleaner (not much), but really, what's here is good. I just wish there were more ideas in this song.
I always find that my votes change if I get the chance to listen to the fight more than two or three times. It makes me feel guilty about the times I've voted based on one or two listens. One may never know...
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- ElaineDiMasi
- Alpaca
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Did you check back to see what Weakest Suit's "fantasy lyrics" were really referring to?Generic wrote:I always find that my votes change if I get the chance to listen to the fight more than two or three times. It makes me feel guilty about the times I've voted based on one or two listens. One may never know...
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Indeed I did. He had my vote anyway. Now I feel less equivocal about it.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- ElaineDiMasi
- Alpaca
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Generic wrote:Indeed I did. He had my vote anyway. Now I feel less equivocal about it.
![Smile :-)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Hey Elaine, don't you think it would be awesome if someone other than the two of us were posting here?
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
I couldn't agree with you more
I had nothing to do with any of the songs this time around, but after spending all last week wishing for more reviews, I think I'll contribute some here. Give me a couple days...
I had nothing to do with any of the songs this time around, but after spending all last week wishing for more reviews, I think I'll contribute some here. Give me a couple days...
- Ross
- DALL-E
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Get a room.Generic wrote:Hey Elaine, don't you think it would be awesome if someone other than the two of us were posting here?
seriously I have written some reviews - am hoping to finish them up soon.
"I don't like this song, but at least it's good." - veGetar Ianra Ge
http://www.rossdurandmusic.com
http://www.rossdurandmusic.com
- ElaineDiMasi
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
LOL you beat me to it.Generic wrote:Hey Elaine, don't you think it would be awesome if someone other than the two of us were posting here?
Yeah! Let's go play in the WGD prefight now!Ross wrote:Get a room.
- glennny
- DALL-E
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Chopped Liver Meat God- The 7/4 is awesome. Very cool drums. I think the vocals are a little too hot, and a little too New Wave. Good singing however needs to find a stronger melody. The octave nasal backing vocal is a little annoying. Abrupt change there. Guitars need to be a little louder for me. This 2nd movement isn’t as interesting as the 1st. Here we go, nice guitar tone, unfortunately this solo sounds like a Lou Reed solo. Some cool stuff, but too long. Hey cool ending!
Elain Dimasi- Nice melody! I hate that synth tone. The vocal lines are very cool. You remind me a lot of the female in Magnetic Fields. This track could use more dynamics, there’s plenty of variance in bloops and bleeps and come ago atop the drum machine and cheesy synth tone. I’m left a little sleepy.
Hijack & the Requests- This is some painful crap. To be constructive: please play in time, please have an idea before you press record. Please stop desecrating the wonderful comedy of the Mighty Boosh, Please kill the hand claps. I like some super eclectic avant-garde experimental stuff, but this is not it. I hope you had fun recording it.
Jon Eric- Piano sounds nice, drums are sparse and non-offensive. Wow, the Nah na nas are not good. Your voice sounds great in the verses, but the nas are strained and tough to listen to. Perhaps this key is a bit high for the sweet spot of your range? Well written song, all the issues are performance.
Mantzfield- Some cool ideas. The band isn’t very together. I think the bass lines are the best part. You should check out some Rumah Sakit, unfortunately they’re the standard I’m holding you to.
Noah McLaughlin- There’s a nice slank to this tune. The music really suits your vocal style. I wish you lead guitar tone wasn’t so thin. Your guitar bends often sound sour. I bend notes all the time, and the way I like to hear them is to hear them bend up to the next note in key. I think you may be bending some half steps when you should be bending whole steps. I dig this song. I think you should really team up with someone, you have a nice low resister voice, it’d be nice to hear more range, and probably different timbre from a female vocalist or something. Anyway, cool tune!
Old Man Grumpus- You need more vocal takes. There’s some sour notes. The drums are a mess, the piano is shaky. That synth tone is hilarious. There’s a certain charm to the result of it all.
Paco del Stinko- YES! That bass line is infectious and super cool. Your vocals are excellent as usual. The chorus is hooky as Hell too. Your backing vocals are my favorite part. Slide solo was nice, though a little restrained. Great song! VOTE!
Pathetic Wannabees- Great lyrics. Very fun. Lo-fi silliness short and sweet.
Punch Camel- Wow the intro never stops. That solo is terrible. It’s an alright start of a song, but it mostly just sounds drunk.
Rone Rivendale- no
Ross Durand- Great production. Nice singing. Good lyrics. The whole thing is a little light and safe. This sounds like “Quality Rock”, KFOG would play this. I like it better when you’re devastating. Alright song, good listen.
Steve Durand- This is great! This takes me to Dr Demento. I love this. Piano is great, the horns are the greatest. Your voice is great, but it is comedic. I love the melody. Gets a vote, and I predict this will win (If we don’t).
Stolen Holiday- The singing and harmony is very good. Pause uh tiv? Pause ih tiv would sound much nicer. This is a charming little ditty. I like it.
The Weakest Suit- wow! This is solid. I’m having fun playing over this. Good song, solid tracks. I’d really like to hear you orchestrate this, add harmonies, and a melodic bass line. Well done.
Wreckdom- You guys are by far the most Bad Ass band on Song Fight. “PLAY THE DRUMS! “. Nur Ein IV really made me a Wreckdom fan. This is a big fat groove, lots of cool noises. Good stuff!
Berkeley Social Scene- BSS in full force! Erin & Sam and Ken back from being Tiny Robots. This was rather collective in composition. Sams lead guitar throughout is extraordinarily tasty. The brashness of Martins voice juxtaposed with the beauty of Erins I think works wonderfully well. Ken has a very killer mix going on the drums. I really enjoy the delivery of the vocals in this take, I get the feeling the characters are a little shocked. My guitar solo is way restrained; I thought I’d be playing off of vocal solos. It ended up lonesome, perhaps beneficially. The track was mostly recorded live. There are vocal over dubs, mandolin, 12-string, and piano overdubs. The bass, drums, guitar, guitar was live. Ken is amazing in his steadiness without a click. I find the chorus to be very catchy. I’m clearly biased, but I just love this song!
Votes: Berkeley Social Scene, Paco del Stinko, Steve Durand, Weakest Suit, Wreckdom
Elain Dimasi- Nice melody! I hate that synth tone. The vocal lines are very cool. You remind me a lot of the female in Magnetic Fields. This track could use more dynamics, there’s plenty of variance in bloops and bleeps and come ago atop the drum machine and cheesy synth tone. I’m left a little sleepy.
Hijack & the Requests- This is some painful crap. To be constructive: please play in time, please have an idea before you press record. Please stop desecrating the wonderful comedy of the Mighty Boosh, Please kill the hand claps. I like some super eclectic avant-garde experimental stuff, but this is not it. I hope you had fun recording it.
Jon Eric- Piano sounds nice, drums are sparse and non-offensive. Wow, the Nah na nas are not good. Your voice sounds great in the verses, but the nas are strained and tough to listen to. Perhaps this key is a bit high for the sweet spot of your range? Well written song, all the issues are performance.
Mantzfield- Some cool ideas. The band isn’t very together. I think the bass lines are the best part. You should check out some Rumah Sakit, unfortunately they’re the standard I’m holding you to.
Noah McLaughlin- There’s a nice slank to this tune. The music really suits your vocal style. I wish you lead guitar tone wasn’t so thin. Your guitar bends often sound sour. I bend notes all the time, and the way I like to hear them is to hear them bend up to the next note in key. I think you may be bending some half steps when you should be bending whole steps. I dig this song. I think you should really team up with someone, you have a nice low resister voice, it’d be nice to hear more range, and probably different timbre from a female vocalist or something. Anyway, cool tune!
Old Man Grumpus- You need more vocal takes. There’s some sour notes. The drums are a mess, the piano is shaky. That synth tone is hilarious. There’s a certain charm to the result of it all.
Paco del Stinko- YES! That bass line is infectious and super cool. Your vocals are excellent as usual. The chorus is hooky as Hell too. Your backing vocals are my favorite part. Slide solo was nice, though a little restrained. Great song! VOTE!
Pathetic Wannabees- Great lyrics. Very fun. Lo-fi silliness short and sweet.
Punch Camel- Wow the intro never stops. That solo is terrible. It’s an alright start of a song, but it mostly just sounds drunk.
Rone Rivendale- no
Ross Durand- Great production. Nice singing. Good lyrics. The whole thing is a little light and safe. This sounds like “Quality Rock”, KFOG would play this. I like it better when you’re devastating. Alright song, good listen.
Steve Durand- This is great! This takes me to Dr Demento. I love this. Piano is great, the horns are the greatest. Your voice is great, but it is comedic. I love the melody. Gets a vote, and I predict this will win (If we don’t).
Stolen Holiday- The singing and harmony is very good. Pause uh tiv? Pause ih tiv would sound much nicer. This is a charming little ditty. I like it.
The Weakest Suit- wow! This is solid. I’m having fun playing over this. Good song, solid tracks. I’d really like to hear you orchestrate this, add harmonies, and a melodic bass line. Well done.
Wreckdom- You guys are by far the most Bad Ass band on Song Fight. “PLAY THE DRUMS! “. Nur Ein IV really made me a Wreckdom fan. This is a big fat groove, lots of cool noises. Good stuff!
Berkeley Social Scene- BSS in full force! Erin & Sam and Ken back from being Tiny Robots. This was rather collective in composition. Sams lead guitar throughout is extraordinarily tasty. The brashness of Martins voice juxtaposed with the beauty of Erins I think works wonderfully well. Ken has a very killer mix going on the drums. I really enjoy the delivery of the vocals in this take, I get the feeling the characters are a little shocked. My guitar solo is way restrained; I thought I’d be playing off of vocal solos. It ended up lonesome, perhaps beneficially. The track was mostly recorded live. There are vocal over dubs, mandolin, 12-string, and piano overdubs. The bass, drums, guitar, guitar was live. Ken is amazing in his steadiness without a click. I find the chorus to be very catchy. I’m clearly biased, but I just love this song!
Votes: Berkeley Social Scene, Paco del Stinko, Steve Durand, Weakest Suit, Wreckdom
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
- rone rivendale
- Odie
- Posts: 1761
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Hey Irwin, you said on irc last nite I don't take crits very well. So tell me, what do I learn from this?glennny wrote: Rone Rivendale- no
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
From spoken word to actual singing, I can screw up any style with style. ![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Simple: you learn that you can't please everybody, no matter what you do or how hard you try. The sooner you learn that and give up trying to be everything to everybody, the easier it all will become.
- JonPorobil
- Gemini
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
A-ha! I see I'm not the only one!glennny wrote:
Wreckdom- You guys are by far the most Bad Ass band on Song Fight. “PLAY THE DRUMS! “.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- nyjm
- Grok
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Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Sorry it took so long to get reviews. Life has gotten busy. I think Elaine hit the nail on the head: not a lot of interesting melodies this fight (mea culpa). Reviews in random order:
Berkley Social Scene
+++ guit tones +++
--- male vox seem flat ---
+++ chorus vibe +++
Hijack and the Requests
--- false bravado ---
--- slow and boring, without hook or interesting prosody ---
Mantzfield
--- not a song. thank you for off-kilter performance but come back next time with some lyrics ---
Stolen Holiday
+++ is that an organ? +++
/// the doubled vox are mixed and performed well, but they're too constant: let one vocal track take it for a while to give some aural variation ///
/// bring up the overdriven guitars ///
WreckdoM - vote for awesomeness
+++ dirty RAWK +++
+++ love the levels of noise +++
+++ wandering-pan solo +++
Elaine Dimasi
/// this tune seems like nice vox and a melody in search of a song ///
/// mopstly it feels like it needs a good hook and/or more catchy chorus ///
The Weakest Suit[ - vote for writing a song about Tienamen Square
+++ lyrics +++
--- guit riff gets repetitive ---
/// it's a common critique, but what this lacks is a full arrangement; you and I should collab (or heck, send me the files for this one); I can just hear the coda as a big, whirling Rolling Stones-esque choral arrangement //
noah mclaughlin - vote for ego
+++ vox +++
/// I dunno about the tie to the title; it's either witty or tacked on ///
--- solo guitar ---
+++ dynamics +++
/// FYI: I have since redone this song with a shorter solo break that's much more interesting and some stronger vox to get rid of that tinny sound; I'll have to go through and give the solo fills a bit more bend ///
Jon Eric sings Ross Durand
+++ oddly enough, this almost sounds like a Kate Bush song +++
/// the organ doodling is interesting, but I don't feel like it drives the song forward very much ///
Ross Durand sings Generic - vote for bounce
+++ ... and this sounds like an Indigo Girls tune +++
+++ love that "wah-wah" sound in the chorus +++
+++ overall, this tune has a great bounce in all of its disparate parts that still work together very well +++
Paco del Stinko
+++ chorus +++
/// otherwise, not much to say: nice effort, but kind of vanilla ///
Rone Rivendale
--- sounds like something you whipped up on a Nintendo DS: muddy vox, cheap effects, etc. ---
--- tuneless singing ---
--- lacks a chorus or anything interesting ---
Old Man Grumpus
--- tinny, thin vox are light in the mix; they don't seem to fit ---
+++ non-standard instrumentation +++
--- melody is uninteresting ---
The Pathetic Wannabees - possible vote
+++ verse lyrics +++
+++ reminds of the Dead Milkmen +++
--- i want more solid drive to the chorus ---
Steve Durand - possible vote
+++ "I'm not spaaaaaaaaam! +++ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
/// This might be a good plot for an independant romantic comedy ///
Punch Camel
--- Hammerhead ---
+++ slink +++
--- lacks dynamics ---
Chopped Liver Meat God
/// oooh, hey, I got lyric-burgled ///
+++ I like what you did with the verse +++
--- the chorus is forced because it uses the verse melody; change it up with your instrumentation ---
--- the vox are too over the top, especially the last verse; tighten up the singing and lessen the warble ---
+++ goth ending is fun +++
--- the clipped mic is not ---
Berkley Social Scene
+++ guit tones +++
--- male vox seem flat ---
+++ chorus vibe +++
Hijack and the Requests
--- false bravado ---
--- slow and boring, without hook or interesting prosody ---
Mantzfield
--- not a song. thank you for off-kilter performance but come back next time with some lyrics ---
Stolen Holiday
+++ is that an organ? +++
/// the doubled vox are mixed and performed well, but they're too constant: let one vocal track take it for a while to give some aural variation ///
/// bring up the overdriven guitars ///
WreckdoM - vote for awesomeness
+++ dirty RAWK +++
+++ love the levels of noise +++
+++ wandering-pan solo +++
Elaine Dimasi
/// this tune seems like nice vox and a melody in search of a song ///
/// mopstly it feels like it needs a good hook and/or more catchy chorus ///
The Weakest Suit[ - vote for writing a song about Tienamen Square
+++ lyrics +++
--- guit riff gets repetitive ---
/// it's a common critique, but what this lacks is a full arrangement; you and I should collab (or heck, send me the files for this one); I can just hear the coda as a big, whirling Rolling Stones-esque choral arrangement //
noah mclaughlin - vote for ego
+++ vox +++
/// I dunno about the tie to the title; it's either witty or tacked on ///
--- solo guitar ---
+++ dynamics +++
/// FYI: I have since redone this song with a shorter solo break that's much more interesting and some stronger vox to get rid of that tinny sound; I'll have to go through and give the solo fills a bit more bend ///
Jon Eric sings Ross Durand
+++ oddly enough, this almost sounds like a Kate Bush song +++
/// the organ doodling is interesting, but I don't feel like it drives the song forward very much ///
Ross Durand sings Generic - vote for bounce
+++ ... and this sounds like an Indigo Girls tune +++
+++ love that "wah-wah" sound in the chorus +++
+++ overall, this tune has a great bounce in all of its disparate parts that still work together very well +++
Paco del Stinko
+++ chorus +++
/// otherwise, not much to say: nice effort, but kind of vanilla ///
Rone Rivendale
--- sounds like something you whipped up on a Nintendo DS: muddy vox, cheap effects, etc. ---
--- tuneless singing ---
--- lacks a chorus or anything interesting ---
Old Man Grumpus
--- tinny, thin vox are light in the mix; they don't seem to fit ---
+++ non-standard instrumentation +++
--- melody is uninteresting ---
The Pathetic Wannabees - possible vote
+++ verse lyrics +++
+++ reminds of the Dead Milkmen +++
--- i want more solid drive to the chorus ---
Steve Durand - possible vote
+++ "I'm not spaaaaaaaaam! +++ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
/// This might be a good plot for an independant romantic comedy ///
Punch Camel
--- Hammerhead ---
+++ slink +++
--- lacks dynamics ---
Chopped Liver Meat God
/// oooh, hey, I got lyric-burgled ///
+++ I like what you did with the verse +++
--- the chorus is forced because it uses the verse melody; change it up with your instrumentation ---
--- the vox are too over the top, especially the last verse; tighten up the singing and lessen the warble ---
+++ goth ending is fun +++
--- the clipped mic is not ---
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
- Geoff WreckdoM
- Mixtral
- Posts: 541
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:13 pm
- Instruments: Theremin
- Recording Method: Pabst Blue Ribbon
- Location: Awestin, TX
- Contact:
Re: Better sit down for these results (False Positive reviews)
Heh, when I first read your review and you said you didn't like the lyrics I figured you don't care for swearing and drug talk which is something I read in a lot of reviews and, well, can't fault anyone for. But not liking the song because you thought I was talking about drums is hilarious! Yes, those would be much lamer lyrics. and silly. hee hee.Generic wrote:Hey WreckdoM. I've got a problem. I didn't really take to your track the first time through because I misheard some of the lyrics. Now that I've read the lyrics, I want to vote for it. But I guess it also matters that I didn't hear them right at first (I heard "play the drums" instead of "blame the drugs.") I don't know... I think you'll wind up getting a vote from me after all.
Berkeley Social Scene - Much as I like the female vox, I’m equally put off by the too laid back and seemingly disinterested male counterpart. The song really comes together at the end but I wish you’d gotten to that power sooner, I think you took your time a little too much. The arrangement is really nice, especially the mandolin fills or whatever that is. A strong contender for certain.
Chopped Liver Meat God – Has a cool groove going and I don’t really mind the intro’s length at all, but the vocals are a disappointment. The strained and at times awkward delivery sounds out of place, I think you could’ve of gone with something more chill or dirtier and that would’ve fit right in. The changeups are cool but the vocals continue to alienate me and the song is overlong. Why not submit a song that sounds like what happens from 3:30 on, cause that shit was tight.
Elaine DiMasi – Mmmm, this song is very sedate and long, I keep wanting it to burst out of it’s box and it never really does. There are some nice subtle changes here and there but this song is entirely too subtle and I lose interest. It’s a very nice vocal performance.
Hijack & The Requests – Sure, it’s a song about a rapper making false claims of his rapping prowess, but that doesn’t mean that I, or likely, anyone else, will enjoy listening to your thoroughly achieved lack of rapping prowess. Do you even like listening to this song?
Jon Eric – I really dig the instrumentation on this a lot, I very much enjoy the solo at 1:25. Sometimes the vocals are real naturalistic and at other moments they seem strained. They feel particularly out of place at the changeup at 1:10 and at the final part, when your really belting it out but the instrumentation isn’t following suite. Overall I like the song though it could use some touching up.
Mantzfield – So, it’s a false positive because of how it goes back and forth, or, hmmm, I don’t mind an instrumental entry but I don’t feel a connection to the title. I like the song, it’s cool, great guitar chops, but it does meander at times, and the song overall is undone by the simple and predictable percussion.
Noah McLaughlin – I always like your vocals and this is no exception. I’m having a hard time saying why but the song doesn’t move me much. I enjoyed the talking about the guitar solo while it was going on, that’s always fun, and the breakdown that’s comes right after that is cool. I guess instrumentation wise I just wasn’t all that excited by it, outside of the cool vox there is not much that clicks with me.
Old Man Grumpus – Grooveless, uninteresting, and painfully long. You may have some clever lyrical moments but you sound bored and detached singing them and I can’t really pay attention, I don’t know, this one has a lot of problems.
Paco Del Stinko – A lively standout for sure! You know the value of alternating, layered and active vocals and use it well here. Not all that original for a Paco song but it’s still solid and fun to listen to. I dig the pop syrup chorus, it’s like listening to a milkshake. The fancy drug store variety of coarse, not that drive thru crap. I enjoy the variety and the energy, yes, this is good, vote!
Pathetic Wannabees – I like this song, I’d rather see it live than this shoddy recording. The manic vocals and the driving “I wanna know!”s carry it, I enjoy it although it’s sad how uneven and disjointed everything sounds. Still fun though, and cheese is definitely too fucking expensive.
Punch Camel – …and it will spit in your face, I don’t recommend it. Um,you have the skeleton here for a cool song but this does not feel like a completed song at all, just an idea or two. Your beginning elements are interesting but this does nothing and goes nowhere. I like the guitar solo.
Rone Rivendale – This isn’t techno and it isn’t hip-hop and it isn’t rap and it isn’t good at all. It’s rubbish.
Ross Durand – Have you guys ever sang a song together in a song fight? I think you two would sound pretty tight together if you haven’t already. Well, parts that I really like are the vocal layers, especially when the two vox are singing the same line emphatically but going in different places. The wah wah touches are great, the building instrumentation is great, overall this is a really solid song, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Vote!
Steve Durand – Alright, I’ve thought this about your songs before, the instrumentation is really well done, but the vocals stick out. I’m envisioning this guys in front of this big band reading off a paper, his mic is too loud and he’s not particularly enjoying himself. You don’t sound all that comfortable and the vocals don’t feel blended in with the music. The lyrics and their sentiment is great though, and the song has a fun, mellow groove to it.
Stolen Holiday – You have mixing issues here, the vocals are above everything, the guitar is frequently inaudible and this situation really comes to a head at your emotional climax where your singing is belting it out and really selling it and the music should be matching it and storming through but instead becomes drowned out and missing. The tune itself doesn’t compel me all that much but mixed more evenly I think you would’ve gotten more of what you were going for.
The Weakest Suit – I’m always at a loss for comment on Guy and Guitar, really, there has to be something there that grabs me to get into this kind of song, and I stopped listening to your story pretty early on and lost interest. It’s ok, hook was catchy but I just wasn’t into it.
WreckdoM – The lyrics were written mostly with elegant corpse, and then a chorus popped out while we were working on it and with just the “pee in a cup” line it became something about how failing a piss test can lead to paranoia, a compulsion to remove oneself from society, delusion, narcissism, and eventually violence. I think. I did a lot of takes and hurt my throat.
"perhaps the most offensive and disturbing image I've ever heard in a song" - Hans Gruber