Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
User avatar
Wages
Galago
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2005 3:16 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Rhythm Guitar
Recording Method: Zoom h4n, Audacity
Submitting as: Wages
Location: The place that never tasted so good
Contact:

Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by Wages » Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:47 pm

Let's get those reviews flowing! I'm jonesin' like a MoFo!
Wages - Hoglen & Wages - The Affirmative Mention - Gawking Urethras - The EAF - and more
User avatar
medavox
Tarsier
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 7:39 am
Instruments: Western stringed fretted things. And sometimes Cajon
Recording Method: REAPER from now on. Suffered with Audacity too long
Submitting as: medavox, colour of infinity
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Prydain
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by medavox » Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:36 am

who wants hypocritically scathing reviews?
User avatar
jast
Loris
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
Instruments: Vocals, guitar
Recording Method: REAPER, Steinberg UR44
Submitting as: Jan Krueger
Location: near Aachen, Germany
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by jast » Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:14 pm

medavox wrote:who wants hypocritically scathing reviews?
Any reviews are welcome, at least as far as I'm concerned.
most of my music
Song Fight-related stuff I host: ZIP archives // Circle of Titles
User avatar
Rone Rivendale
Odie
Posts: 1649
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:51 pm
Instruments: Computer and Electric Guitar
Recording Method: Fruity Loops, Goldwave
Submitting as: Rone Rivendale
Location: Kansas, USA
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by Rone Rivendale » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:21 pm

Any honest reviews are welcome whether they are good or bad. And this is coming form someone who is expecting alot of bad ones this fight.

The tracks seperately were good, but somehow the mix killed it, it was a horrible death.
User avatar
medavox
Tarsier
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 7:39 am
Instruments: Western stringed fretted things. And sometimes Cajon
Recording Method: REAPER from now on. Suffered with Audacity too long
Submitting as: medavox, colour of infinity
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Prydain
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by medavox » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:44 pm

Rone Rivendale wrote:it was a horrible death.
could you recommend any good songs of yours?
that really is not meant to sound sarcastic, I would just like to hear your highlights, and am tired.
btw, my reviews are handwritten, so I'll type them up in chunks at a time.

yours, Rone, just says:

horrific. I hope it was meant to sound that unharmonious.
Last edited by medavox on Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
ElaineDiMasi
Marmoset
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:17 pm
Instruments: vocals, keys, drums, english horn and er, guitarists
Recording Method: pro tools/digi002, wavelab, the occasional tape recorder
Submitting as: MissFancyPants WeatherSchedule AllFourFeet EllyLane+theJanglinJims ChironReturn
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by ElaineDiMasi » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:53 pm

My masterpiece, too late for the fight.
Sorry I haven't been up to reviewing my fair share lately.

http://5090.fawm.org/songs/2252/
User avatar
medavox
Tarsier
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 7:39 am
Instruments: Western stringed fretted things. And sometimes Cajon
Recording Method: REAPER from now on. Suffered with Audacity too long
Submitting as: medavox, colour of infinity
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Prydain
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by medavox » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:36 pm

Here are some of said reviews, anyway:

Bangin Betty: the bass was too quiet on my speakers -- but they were tinny speakers. Maybe do some EQ and increase the higher frequencies of the bass track? It was slightly out of time I thought, too. I also thought the chorus overdrive was a bit watery-- it was there for the sake of a songwriting assumption. Interesting bridge at 1:20.

Berkeley Social Scene: Nice sort of folky intro, lovely bit of reverb on the chorus. Mixed well, lots of layered melodies always showing that extra effort (or organisational skills in having enough time to make it all work). Solo maybe wasn't quite prominent enough. The one nitpicky thing i wrote on the first listen is that the harmony at 2:00 needs to be tighter. Oh, and the vocals remind me of lonbobby?

Cobalt Stomach Nice drum machine & overdriven bass riff. The vocals were substandard -- too much awwwww yiiieeeeaaawwwwhhhh twanginess in it, apart from not enough energy put into it.
Cool synths.
Quite a bit jokey? but with good production.

Crack My Jaw: Don't like the autowah intro. Not to my tastes. As for the lyrical subject matter, I was expecting someone would sing about this in some form or another, lol. Very odd.
Why are you quoting science? too long.

Crank Radio: Nice rhythm: drums give it a bit of syncopation.
guitar and vox leave a sortof ambient jazz feeling?

The Dav: I'll tell you what I think of this on monday, so this is for everyone else's benefit (I'm being extra harsh cause I know you):needed more instrumentation; I worked out what GnG stood for by listening to this song. The solo was fun, you could tell. The vocals sounded distracted thought. Maybe it's cause i know what you're like, but I thought I heard a sigh from the MP3 when you finished singing and began the solo :P
I also thought the chords needed more variety; though what was there was rhythmically and harmonically interesting enough for me.

Doscientos Kind of like the Hell Yeahs last week -- hard-hitting and short-lived. Pretty good stuff. The vocals maybe needed to be louder, and the riff on the keys reminded me of the Sims 2 theme.

Elly Lane and the Janglin Jims: Love the intro -- sounds like Pavement (specifically Cut Your Hair) with piano. Thought maybe the chorus vocals could have done with a little more cleaning up.

remind me to put the rest of the alphabetical follow-ons here later...

Howl Down the Chimney: Folky Guitar + reverby vocals + chromatic progression = extreme win. Is that a flute? wow. Haunting. Ah luv eet. This is exactly what I would make if I could.

Jan Krueger: reminds me of "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime" by the Korgis A LOT. Also "Muscle Museum" by Muse, but that's just a passing resemblance. Good work on the acapella, made for a good listen. Inventive stuff.
User avatar
jast
Loris
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
Instruments: Vocals, guitar
Recording Method: REAPER, Steinberg UR44
Submitting as: Jan Krueger
Location: near Aachen, Germany
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by jast » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:56 pm

medavox wrote:Jan Krueger: reminds me of "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime" by the Korgis A LOT. Also "Muscle Museum" by Muse, but that's just a passing resemblance. Good work on the acapella, made for a good listen. Inventive stuff.
I actually know parts of that Korgis song, I now realize after listening to it, just not the name or the original version. I guess the chords on each quarter in that are what's most similar to what I wrote, and I also use the same kind of diminished chord. Anyway, thanks for the review.
most of my music
Song Fight-related stuff I host: ZIP archives // Circle of Titles
User avatar
jast
Loris
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
Instruments: Vocals, guitar
Recording Method: REAPER, Steinberg UR44
Submitting as: Jan Krueger
Location: near Aachen, Germany
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by jast » Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:57 pm

Oh and here are my reviews. See my signature for a legend.

Banging Betty -- 12/15
C:2 (Solid song.) L:* F:2 P:3 (Rather loose timing on vocals. Bit nasal, too. Intonation is decent. Half-muted strings are a nice touch.) M:3 (Lead clean guitar is a bit heavy on the high end. Lo-fi.)

Berkeley Social Scene -- 13/15
C:2 (Too hectic for me, but fun stuff anyway.) L:* F:3 P:3 (Vocals are not perfect but work quite well in this. Guitar timing in solo is a bit weird at some points.) M:3

Cobalt Stomach -- 9/15
C:2 (Uh?) L:* F:0 P:2 (Either this is meant to be dysharmonic or your intonation is awful. Take your pick.) M:3

The Colour of Infinity -- 13/15
C:3 (Cute song. Great choice of instruments and such.) L:* F:3 P:2 (Things are not quite in tune... the flute in particular.) M:3

Crack My Jaw -- 8/15
C:1 (It starts dragging on about halfway through. Perhaps earlier.) L:* F:2 P:2 (Nice voice but at most mediocre intonation.) M:1 (I don't get all the wah-wah. Reverb and panning wankery.)

Crank Radio -- 12/15
C:2 (Not quite my kind of thing but sort of nice.) L:* F:3 P:2 (Vocals sound a bit weak, on and off.) M:3 (No complaints there. Nice use of tremolo. Vocals could use a bit more body.)

The Dav -- 11/15
C:2 (Drags. Solo outro not so interesting.) L:* F:2 P:2 (Vocal intonation is rather loose. Slightly erratic timing on guitar.) M:3 (A hint of panning might have might this more appealing.)

Doscientos -- 9/15
C:1 (Nothing going on here.) L:* F:1 P:3 M:2 (Are those ducks? Why all the delay on them? Yuck.)

Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims -- 13/15
C:3 (Great upbeatness.) L:2 (I don't go for this kind of song.) F:3 P:3 (Parts of the backup vocals have pretty bad intonation. Lead vocals a little bit nasal.) M:2 (LOTS of clipping. It's less noticeable as the song progresses, but especially in the beginning it rather put me off.)

Everlasting Gobstopper -- 11/15
C:3 (I like it. A touch of drums might have been a nice addition.) L:* F:3 P:2 (great guitar playing, decent vocals. Put some more energy in those!) M:1 (the background noises are pretty horrible. Your music deserves better than this. Vocals sound very hollow, too, possibly due to a not-so-great mic. Did you pan the vocals to the left? Why? Also, clipping, particularly when the backup vocals come in. The pitch correction effect at the end would have been better if it had locked into the right notes. The way it is it sounds a bit stupid.)

Flvxxvm Florvm -- 9/15
C:1 (Rather boring overall.) L:2 F:2 P:2 (Vocals are a bit ) M:2 (Phasing effect on vocals seems pointless, spoils overall sound for me.)

Future Boy -- 11/15
C:2 (Great progression but not really enough to carry a whole song, I think.) L:2 F:2 P:3 (Vocals wobble a bit in quieter parts but are great otherwise.) M:2 (Missing a sparkle, EQically speaking. I think.)

Gooey Caramel Centaur -- /15
C:2 (I don't find it very exciting.) L:* F:2 P:3 (Vocals: pretty good intonation. Dynamics could stand improvement.) M:2 (Did you pan your vocals right? Why? A bit of reverb on both piano and vocals might have helped the atmosphere.)

The Gorgias -- 8/15
C:2 (Solid.) L:* F:1 P:2 (Weak vocals, guitar is out of tune.) M:2 (Mic and/or EQ on the vocals is not so good. Sounds pretty muddy, that sort of buries it in the overall song. Kick drum is so strong in the low bass part compared to everything else that it sticks out a LOT.)

Howl Down the Chimney -- 12/15
C:3 (Interesting things here.) L:1 (Do those lyrics make sense?) F:3 P:3 M:2 (Reverb sounds a bit artificial due to the strong and even oscillation in it. The reverb bathing fits this, though.)

Jan Krueger -- so I went for another (almost) all a cappella song, this time treating the title very literally. I spent more than a couple of hours on this one for a change; two or three days, I guess. I was going to record bass vox in place of the fake acoustic bass, but my voice never felt up to it. Oh well.

Jay Bullock -- 11/15
C:2 (Very likable but could have had a bit more variation.) L:* F:3 P:2 (Vocals are rather badly intoned. Great guitars.) M:2 (Vocals are a bit muddy. Lead and backup vocals compete rather strongly. Consider shaving a bit of high end off the backup vocals and panning them to the side a bit; also consider cutting the lead vox below 90-100 Hz or so.)

King Arthur -- 13/15
C:3 (Great! A bit more changes in arrangement might have made it even more enjoyable.) L:* F:3 P:3 M:2 (Not sure I like the way you mixed the vocals. Brass in particular overpowers vocals a bit. Clipping.)

Kooler Kate And The Alcoholics -- 10/15
C:2 (Not much happens in this song.) L:* F:2 P:2 (Vocal intonation and phrasing need work.) M:2 (Chorus sounds a bit saturated with noisy stuff. Are the vocals moving in the stereo field? Uhh...)

Lord of Oats -- 10/15
C:2 (I'm not sure about this. Accompaniment is hectic.) L:* F:2 P:1 (Vocal intonation isn't so great.) M:3 (I think a bit less low bass would have been better.)

Mantzfield -- 11/15
C:2 (I'm confused by the snare hits on 1 and 3 in the verses. Sort of messed up the tempo transition in my head. The G minor chord in the chorus seems a bit out of place to me.) L:2 (I don't get it but I like it a bit anyway.) F:2 P:2 (Guitar is a bit hit and miss at times. Vocals are sort of okay.) M:3 (No complaints.)

Paco del Stinko -- 13/15
C:3 (I feel like I wouldn't normally like it, but I do.) L:* F:3 (Creepy... nice.) P:3 (Great guitar tone. Fairly good vocals, especially in the intro.) M:2 (Nice, but lead vocals get a bit buried as the arrangement builds up.)

Pathetic Wannabees -- 12/15
C:2 (I like the accompaniment. Song not too exciting.) L:2 (I think I get it, for once.) F:2 P:2 (Loose timing on vocals.) M:2 (Missing a bit of high-end sparkle.)

Rick Evans -- what does it have to do with dry spells, though? 12/15
C:3 (Great pace!) L:0 (I don't know if you noticed but you've got no lyrics in this one.) F:3 P:3 (Nice synth sounds and everything.) M:3

Rogue Wizard Force -- 9/15
C:1 (Repetitive before the break. Sections don't really feel like they fit together.) L:* F:1 P:2 (Vocal intonation/phrasing could be a lot better.) M:3

Rone Rivendale -- 5/15
C:0 (Sounds more like it was randomized rather than composed.) L:2 F:0 P:1 (No melody, no chords, bad vocal timing, bad guitar timing. Need I say more?) M:2 (Vocals are very muddy.)

Sheail -- 13/15
C:3 L:* F:2 P:3 (But vocals could use more energy) M:3 (Room sound on vocals is weird. Sounds like a largish bathroom. Barring that, though, great mix.)

simpsons donkey -- 9/15
C:2 (Interesting.) L:2 (I didn't get some of the lines, but nice picture.) F:2 P:1 (Weak vocals, also sound like you've got a cold. Overall timing is wobbly. The half-strumming in the second half sounds a bit sucky.) M:2 (it's not that hard to remove handling noises from the beginning! Obviously lo-fi, but who cares)

The Sky Looks Pissed -- 11/15
C:2 (Pace is slower than what would have kept me fully engaged.) L:1 (Do these lyrics make sense?) F:3 P:2 (You still need to practice if you want to pull off those kinds of doubled vocals. Oh, and you're way beyond your range near the end. Honestly, that part sounds extremely wimpy.) M:3 (Lo-fi, of course. Vocals would benefit a lot from compression, I think.)

Wages -- 10/15
C:2 L:1 (Do these lyrics make sense?) F:2 P:2 (Guitar slightly out of tune. Vocals sound strained throughout (sometimes weak instead, in fact), and sometimes don't quite settle on any particular note.) M:3 (Well, you already know it's lo-fi, there's nothing else I can tell you.)

The Weakest Suit -- 9/15
C:2 L:1 (Do these lyrics make any sense?) F:2 P:2 (Vocal intonation is so-so. More so, though. Okay guitar playing; I think some of those lower strings had been better off being silent most of the time.) M:2 (vocals too quiet relative to guitar. Mic position?)

Votes go to Berkeley Social Scene, The Colour Of Infinity, Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims, King Arthur, Paco del Stinko, Sheail. And myself.
most of my music
Song Fight-related stuff I host: ZIP archives // Circle of Titles
User avatar
HeadShot
Tarsier
Posts: 83
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:28 am
Instruments: Guitar, Vocals, Bass, Keyboard, Sequencer
Recording Method: FL Studio 5, Audacity, Samson Go Mic (Cardioid pattern -10 dB)
Submitting as: RE:FLEKT
Location: Boca Raton, Fl
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by HeadShot » Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:15 pm

jast wrote:Rick Evans -- what does it have to do with dry spells, though?
I got pretty lazy on this one when it comes to the concept behind the song. I figured it would be the soundtrack to a hypothetical video game stage by the name of "Dry Spell", which I guess would be a desert or something.
I've got a better idea. You go in there and talk to him. I'm going home. http://www.facebook.com/#/pages/REFLEKT ... 011?ref=nf
User avatar
ElaineDiMasi
Marmoset
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:17 pm
Instruments: vocals, keys, drums, english horn and er, guitarists
Recording Method: pro tools/digi002, wavelab, the occasional tape recorder
Submitting as: MissFancyPants WeatherSchedule AllFourFeet EllyLane+theJanglinJims ChironReturn
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by ElaineDiMasi » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:17 pm

My feeling in this fight is that I don't care about clever title fulfillment. I want the songs to all be about love lost and dying of thirst inside, and rhyme "spell" with "well".

Banging Betty - Good story, good feel, good job.

Berkeley Social Scene - Has a nice feel and all that but lyrics/phrasing didn't grab my attention.

Cobalt Stomach - No, this is a waste of a lyricburgle.

The Colour of Infinity - I **adore** that off-pitch lo-fi whistle. Makes the whole track. Might make a vote happen. Because I kept listening for it.

Crack My Jaw - Ok, I won't listen to this over and over or run show it to anyone, but I'm glad for you doing it for listening once.

Crank Radio - Nice intro and accel. That little "it's not a drought, it's just a dry spell" is understatedly hooky. I really like the second person take in that verse "tell me you won't miss her". As it goes on, I start to pay more attention to the keyboard sound. I like the whole thing. Vote.

The Dav - The singing and strumming rhythms together aren't very great. And, not much else to the song right? Oh, a boring solo part. Sorry, this isn't doing it for me.

Dos Cientos - It's monotonous, unfortunately.

Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims - Thanks Noah for this one, it felt great to do, the guitars are delicious. I'm starting to really admire the way that you program the drums. They've got a lot of life to them. Sorry my vocals are so unstable on the high notes! It didn't seem like they were at the time I did it.

Everlasting Gobstopper - The lead guitar wandering through the vocals in the first verse was distracting, stepping on the singer. Overall sound, melody etc, ok and nice. Nothing really distinctive.

Flvxxvm Florvm - Yeaahh... sorta plods, right?

Future Boy - O. M. G. You have the 70's naivete down so perfectly here. Big vote for doing something that totally doesn't sound like everybody else. Simple though the lyrics and music are, I think they work really well. Vote.

Gooey Caramel Centaur - And why doesn't this one work as well as the above? There's the whiff of pretentiousness, or maybe say, drama above the song's station. All color let the world, the sun a dull ball, shadows gathered - it's too much.

The Gorgias - Argh, another maudlin moaning thing. I wish I had finished my cha-cha in time for this fight, I really do. At 3:00 when it starts saying "don't listen to me anymore", I almost oblige.

Howl Down the Chimney - Fits my dry-spell mood EXACTLY. Why not accuse you of maudlin moaning? It's because you leave such huge echoing spaces between the words. It's because the melody has motion in it and the three-feel beat also does. Vote.

Jan Krueger - You execute all this well enough, but the lyrics don't deliver me anywhere special and this kind of "do do do" falsetto comping is, to me, an annoying sound.

Jay Bullock - Makes a nice upbeat impression at the very beginning, but by the third time that unchanging melody phrase is repeated, it's too much to take. I mean, each line is identical until the bridge thing, ouch!

King Arthur - So, this keeps my attention for a while. I'm left with a bit of "what was that about" when it's done, can't say really why.

Kooler Kate and the Alcoholics - Nice hook. Song works. Vote!

Lord of Oats - This makes me smile, definitely sounds like you had fun with it. The synth makes me smile too. Silly thing.

Mantzfield - This starts out moany than lurches into what it lurches into - that's not a nice surprise - it kind of catches its balance in a minute - repetetive though - I dunno. There's something I like about it but not sure what.

Paco del Stinko - I don't know what to say!

Pathetic Wannabees - I don't know what to say.

Rick Evans - No comment. Sorry, nothing personal!

Rogue Wizard Force - Kudos for the story (don't even have a toad is funny!), but the actual words, mostly, stomping along on every eighth note like that, thing becomes too monotonous. Oh hang on, we're at 2:09... yeah, ok.

Rone Rivendale - Too many syllables are falling with timing that's completely random. Add in the lack of melody and rhythm, and you have something that's very hard to listen to.

Sheail - Don't exactly know how to explain this. A competently structured, well executed track but whenever the vocals are in, I feel a sense of confusion.

simpsons donkey - Qualifies in the moany maudlin category. I am in the mood for more upbeat music even if the theme is what it is.

The Sky Looks Pissed - Pretty intro. I thought "my friends just want.." was a perfectly good way to start off the story, but then maybe nothing followed up with enough strength.

Wages - I dunno. Interesting but, hard to comment on? Not possible to sing along to. Is that bad? No, it's cool. I dunno.

Weakest Suit - Haha. These chords don't work with what you're saying at ALL. But the chorus is too funny. Singalong? Yes, for the chorus, I think so!
Last edited by ElaineDiMasi on Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:40 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
nyjm
Loris
Posts: 1066
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:14 am
Instruments: acoustic guitar, electric guitar, synth, various MIDI instruments
Recording Method: Reaper, Line 6 POD, GLS Audio 57 and 58
Submitting as: noah mclaughlin, Ford's Theater Disaster, Juliet's Happy Dagger
Location: atlanta, ga
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by nyjm » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:29 pm

jast wrote:Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims -- [...] LOTS of clipping. It's less noticeable as the song progresses, but especially in the beginning it rather put me off.
1) Thanks for the vote!

2) Clipping? Really? I don't hear it on my equipment - and I've tried it out on three different sets of speakers. The chorus, especially, is pretty top heavy: with the slide guit, Elaine's vox, the ride cymbal tapping out 8th notes and the overdriven guitars, all sitting at 6kHz-plus, but still, clipping? Maybe your just hearing the overdriven guitars? They're pretty thin (tone-wise), but they give the tune a that sprinkling of gravel & grit that I wanted...

Sorry, clipping is a pet peeve of mine. I don't have the best recording equipment, so I'm constantly trying to keep that part of mixing under a close watch. I haven't (accidentally) clipped a submission in a long time...

Aye, proper reviews forthcoming...
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
User avatar
ElaineDiMasi
Marmoset
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:17 pm
Instruments: vocals, keys, drums, english horn and er, guitarists
Recording Method: pro tools/digi002, wavelab, the occasional tape recorder
Submitting as: MissFancyPants WeatherSchedule AllFourFeet EllyLane+theJanglinJims ChironReturn
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by ElaineDiMasi » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:35 pm

medavox wrote:Why are you quoting science? too long.
I am SO going to be looking for a way to use that line somewhere.
User avatar
jast
Loris
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
Instruments: Vocals, guitar
Recording Method: REAPER, Steinberg UR44
Submitting as: Jan Krueger
Location: near Aachen, Germany
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by jast » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:48 pm

nyjm wrote:2) Clipping? Really? I don't hear it on my equipment - and I've tried it out on three different sets of speakers.
The only way it could get lost on your speakers was if they somehow lost all of the highs. I hear two runs of pretty strong clipping in the very first second of the song, and more, for example, between 0:04 and 0:07. In the chorus much less of it is noticable due to all the other things going on. It seems to be absent in verses.
Maybe your just hearing the overdriven guitars?
I'm hearing those too, but unless they were meant to have digital clipping in them, they're not what I'm talking about.
most of my music
Song Fight-related stuff I host: ZIP archives // Circle of Titles
User avatar
jast
Loris
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
Instruments: Vocals, guitar
Recording Method: REAPER, Steinberg UR44
Submitting as: Jan Krueger
Location: near Aachen, Germany
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by jast » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:52 pm

ElaineDiMasi wrote:Jan Krueger - You execute all this well enough, but the lyrics don't deliver me anywhere special
Perhaps I was just being too obscure. Or perhaps talking about how great sacrificing others is is too boring. Either way, thanks for the review.
most of my music
Song Fight-related stuff I host: ZIP archives // Circle of Titles
Ben
A New Player
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:44 pm
Submitting as: Banging Betty

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by Ben » Sun Aug 02, 2009 7:11 pm

Thanks for all the great input.

It's much appreciated.
User avatar
ElaineDiMasi
Marmoset
Posts: 186
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2008 9:17 pm
Instruments: vocals, keys, drums, english horn and er, guitarists
Recording Method: pro tools/digi002, wavelab, the occasional tape recorder
Submitting as: MissFancyPants WeatherSchedule AllFourFeet EllyLane+theJanglinJims ChironReturn
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by ElaineDiMasi » Sun Aug 02, 2009 7:15 pm

jast wrote:
ElaineDiMasi wrote:Jan Krueger - You execute all this well enough, but the lyrics don't deliver me anywhere special
Perhaps I was just being too obscure. Or perhaps talking about how great sacrificing others is is too boring. Either way, thanks for the review.
Maybe this is an interesting general point. When I say lyrics I mean the chosen words, and not the story. If I think "you're all dead and I don't care" is a clod sentence, then to me it's a clod sentence whether they're dead from aliens, monsters, plague, traffic accidents, heart attacks, being born in 1830 and not living to 2009, or whatever. YMMV.
User avatar
Rone Rivendale
Odie
Posts: 1649
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:51 pm
Instruments: Computer and Electric Guitar
Recording Method: Fruity Loops, Goldwave
Submitting as: Rone Rivendale
Location: Kansas, USA
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by Rone Rivendale » Sun Aug 02, 2009 8:06 pm

medavox wrote:
Rone Rivendale wrote:it was a horrible death.
could you recommend any good songs of yours?
that really is not meant to sound sarcastic, I would just like to hear your highlights, and am tired.
Well it isn't a SF song, but go to my music myspace at http://www.myspace.com/mikebushmusic and listen to the 2nd song on the list entitled "Step On Me". Multiple SF'ers have told me it's my best song ever.

Most of my better songs are ones I've done in between SF songs.
User avatar
medavox
Tarsier
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 7:39 am
Instruments: Western stringed fretted things. And sometimes Cajon
Recording Method: REAPER from now on. Suffered with Audacity too long
Submitting as: medavox, colour of infinity
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Prydain
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by medavox » Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:26 am

ElaineDiMasi wrote:
medavox wrote:Why are you quoting science? too long.
I am SO going to be looking for a way to use that line somewhere.
hahah cool :)


here come some more reviews...

Everlasting Gobstopper: This is a good song to mope and chill to. I like the raw acoustic feeling. Vocals are nice and mellow, like the song, sounds like it could be the same performance as the rhythm guitar? A bit of clipping on the chorus vocals
It sounds like a proper (circa 2006) emo band band unplugged. And that's a compliment (Y)

Flvxxvm Florvm: Nice and bluesy. I like the vocal effect, if not the lack of the lack of enthusiasm. It gets a bit samey after while, but maybe that's just my personal preference kicking in. Cool keys thing going on later. The singing is a bit monotonal, but sounds like it would improve with time. Concentrate on hitting different notes more, than dynamics and tremolo.

Future Boy: The same Barry Manilow mouthfeel as last week. At least my mum thinks you sound like Mr Manilow. I consider it Airport Bossa Nova, in a good way. Doesn't sound as much fun as last week's though. Maybe due to the minor key. Basically, your modern style of songfighting makes me dance stupid. This is a good thing, trust me. I love to swing mah hips embarassingly at Aimée.

Gooey Caramel Centaur: Pretty ok. The piano's a bit quiet? and maybe I'm a sucker for piano songs, but I love the chord progression. Vocals need to move around more, and build the energy of the song up more. other than that, fun!

Gorgias: The simple major 7th progression hooked me straight away. Sounded like it was gonna be an epic ballad, But the lo-fi sounding vocals dissapointed me slightly. Although it did pick up again on the drum machine chorusy bit. The first time i listened to this on the tinny speakers, the drum machine sounded thin and unnecessary; but on my decent speakers in my room, they give a nice bit of bass. It makes the chorus sound like when an emo band works with a famous hip-hop producer. I thought the vocals could have been improved with some reverb (but hey, what can't be improved with some reverb? the answer being of course, My Bloody Valentine. They maxed out the reverb already.), but the vocal performance did build up nicely towards the end.
The minor bridge hurt it for me, though. The vocals sounded more out of tune there, and it broke the (dry) spell of the song. I liked the (quoting my original handwritten notes) "messy but functionally adept" solo, too.
User avatar
nyjm
Loris
Posts: 1066
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:14 am
Instruments: acoustic guitar, electric guitar, synth, various MIDI instruments
Recording Method: Reaper, Line 6 POD, GLS Audio 57 and 58
Submitting as: noah mclaughlin, Ford's Theater Disaster, Juliet's Happy Dagger
Location: atlanta, ga
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by nyjm » Tue Aug 04, 2009 10:55 am

ladies and gentlemen, I give you the highest concentration of G&G tunes in a single fight in recent memory.

The Sky Looks Pissed
--- white noise hiss ---
+++ melody +++
--- falsetto ---
/// how do you mic your guitar? it sounds almost like you have the mic right in front of the sound hole; i usually get better sound (less bass boom, clearer highs) with two mics in a V shape centered on the sound hole but one aimed at the 12th fret and the other at the bridge ///
/// good core of a song; wants for backing track ///

The Dav
--- electric, but still a pretty standard G&G tune ---
--- thin, uncertain vox ---
+++ solo +++

Everlasting Gobstopper
--- machine hiss ---
+++ melody +++
--- main vox panned waaaaaaaay left, with waaaaaaaaaaay too much reverb and mixed too low ---
--- G&G with nothing new to add to the genre ---

Jay Bullock
+++ Indigo Girls vibe to the lyrics +++
--- repetitive melody : where's a chorus, or a break or something? ---
/// ah: 1:30 is way too long to wait with such a repetitive melody ///
--- sloppy bridge ---

The Weakest Suit
--- fail lyric is fail ---
/// that seems a little harsh, but you usually demonstrate a knack for poetic lyrics and an interesting melody ///

simpsons donkey
+++ great lyrics +++
--- uneven performance, quiet recording and uninspired arrangement ---

Wages
--- uncertain vox ---
--- the whole thing just drags ---
+++ pretty cool chorus +++

Next Category : WE HAVE KEYBOARDS!

Futureboy
+++ vox harmonies +++
/// I want you to finish this with full production ///

Rick Evans
/// congratulations, you can play 16th notes at 144+ BPM ///
--- yawn ---

King Arthur
+++ love the groove +++
--- dislike the keyboard horns ---

Lord of Oats
+++ fun organ opening; and generally great keyboard atmospherics +++
--- warbly vox ---
/// it seems like you're over-reaching your voice with the melody; find a more comfortable range ///

Rogue Wizard Force
--- vox ---
+++ funny concept, but extremely limiting +++

Gooey Caramel Centaur
/// love the name ///
--- G&P (guy and piano) tune ---

The Good Stuff

Paco del Stinko - vote for successful non-standard songwriting
--- awkward rhythm in your melody that just needs some tweaks ---
+++ neat concept +++
+++ really cool arrangement +++

Jan Krueger - vote for successful non-standard songwriting
+++ vox pulses +++
--- "thirst" off-key and too loud ---
+++ creepy story +++

Doscientos - vote for fun
+++ bounce +++
/// i'd move those harmony vox in towards the center a bit ///
+++ fun +++

Crank Radio - vote for superlative execution
+++ atmosphere +++
/// kind of drags on; this is a great tune for a rainy spring day with a bottle of wine or your downer of choice ///

Sheail - vote for superlative execution
--- vox are too hot ---
+++ dynamics +++
/// like I suggested to Doscientos, I'd pull those harmony vox in more towards the center; the hard panning is distracting ///

Elly Lane & the Janglin' Jims - vote for a damn fine song
+++ I love how I write a country blues tune and Elaine turns it halfway into a Renaissance folk ditty +++
/// unlike many of my other tunes, i find it hard to be objectively critical about this one, I think it rocks from beginning to end ///
--- after umpteen listens, I might like some more grit from Elaine's vox and to push the cymbals up just a smidge; i could always do better on the backing vox ---

Pathetic Wannabees - download
+++ get along little doggie! +++
/// would go well with light beer, a hot night and the Texas two-step +++
--- production is shoddy : plosives, thin backing band, dirty vox recording, etc. ---

Berkley Social Scene - download
+++ is that a theremin? whatever that waw-waw line is, it's awesome +++
/// chorus vox get a little lost ///
+++ solo! +++
/// there's so much going on here, maybe a little too much, but I'll bet that this tune rewards many close listens ///

Howl Down the Chimney - download
+++ your trademark is just awesome: the perfect marriage of haunting reverb, lingering melody and vocal tone +++
/// it's beautifully done, but it's become kind of a schtick, tho. Works as beautiful background music, but isn't dynamic enough to hold my interest for long ///

The Rest

Flvxxvm Florvm
+++ lyrics +++
+++ creative take on a topical and timely subject +++
--- some missing timing on the outro ---

Cobalt Stomach
+++ thank you +++
--- alas, this seems like my song (and even the melody) plastered over a synth beats and tones; there's nothing really new to it ---
--- harsh (and sometimes off-key) vox ---

Kooler Kate And The Alcoholics (whose ID3 tag reads: Signboy feat. Marianna)
+++ guit tone and riff +++
--- vox tone is a mismatch and overly prominent ---
+++ break down +++
/// chorus and verse could use more differentiation ///

Mantzfield
--- timing issues : what the hell is with that random tap sound ? ---
+++ chorus +++

Rone Rivendale
/// learn to sing ///
/// learn to play guitar ///
/// learn to record and mix your songs ///
/// i hope this streak improves your songwriting abilities ///

The Colour of Infinity
--- claps are too sharp; need reverb and/or multiple hands ---
+++ vox harmonies +++
--- whistle ---

The Gorgias
/// almost qualified for the G&G category, but there's a rhythm section there ///
+++ this tune eventually gets soncially interesting +++
--- it needs to do so way sooner ---

Crack My Jaw
--- vox reverb; wow, it even gets worse ---
--- quiet mix ---
--- metaphors only work if you don't overly explicate them ---
/// thank you for your experimentalism, please come back with a more solid song

Banging Betty
+++ lyrics +++
--- uneven mix ---
--- sloppy performance ---
/// this composition is too stop and start; it hints at a great bluesy vibe, but never realizes that potential ///
Last edited by nyjm on Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:56 pm, edited 6 times in total.
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
User avatar
jast
Loris
Posts: 1220
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
Instruments: Vocals, guitar
Recording Method: REAPER, Steinberg UR44
Submitting as: Jan Krueger
Location: near Aachen, Germany
Contact:

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by jast » Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:22 am

ElaineDiMasi wrote:When I say lyrics I mean the chosen words, and not the story. If I think "you're all dead and I don't care" is a clod sentence, then to me it's a clod sentence [...]
Good point. I admit I didn't finetune words very much in this song. I do that more on songs that don't really have a story (e.g. "We Keep Them Alive"). It's something I may decide to work on in future story-based songs.
nyjm wrote:+++ vox pulses +++
--- "thirst" off-key and too loud ---
+++ creepy story +++
Thanks! I assume by "vox pulses" you mean the vibrato/tremolo in some of them vox takes. I'm not sure I agree with "too loud", but it gave me an idea for how to mix it differently, so I appreciate it nonetheless. And off-key... well, what I would say about that would sound like a feeble excuse, so I'll just drop it. ;)
most of my music
Song Fight-related stuff I host: ZIP archives // Circle of Titles
tbuk00
A New Player
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:40 pm
Submitting as: Everlasting Gobstopper, Looking for Alaska

Re: Writer's bitch is such a block (Dry Spell reviews)

Post by tbuk00 » Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:52 pm

NYJM,

I'm not really sure how you got my real name, kinda creepy to say the least. I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that again.

For some reason when I converted the file from garageband to itunes it panned the vocals way left, didn't catch it until I had already emailed it in. What does G&G mean? Thanks for the input!
Post Reply