Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
- jast
- Grok
- Posts: 1326
- Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2008 7:03 pm
- Instruments: Vocals, guitar
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Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Well-established song fighting community looking to work with an experienced (hell, we'll take anyone who can string together a few words) fight reviewer. Please post a sample of your work for the "Front and Center" fight here.
- Caravan Ray
- bono
- Posts: 8684
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Instead of leaving it to the last minute - I'll try reviewing songs one at a time.
First cab off the rank.....
RYCEHAT - This is great. I liked your song last week - and this is even better. I don't have a lot to say - but welcome to Songfight - you are awesome. Perhaps the first vocal is a bit too nasaly. Snotty can be good - but you sound a bit too snotty. Whatever - still a great song. You will get a vote...assuming I remember to vote.
First cab off the rank.....
RYCEHAT - This is great. I liked your song last week - and this is even better. I don't have a lot to say - but welcome to Songfight - you are awesome. Perhaps the first vocal is a bit too nasaly. Snotty can be good - but you sound a bit too snotty. Whatever - still a great song. You will get a vote...assuming I remember to vote.
- bdog5778
- Llama
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Check 1-2-3. My post full of reviews was just eaten. Fortunately, I had them copied elsewhere before submitting.
"In Heavy Metal... Precision is ALL. ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN AT ALL TIMES.... HAHAHA. Yes indeedy." --Slipperman
www.metalunarocks.com
www.metalunarocks.com
- bdog5778
- Llama
- Posts: 92
- Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:18 am
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Lord of Oats - I was hoping the cheesy keyboards would segue into something cooler. Alas, they did not. It's not BAD, just not varied enough. Would have loved for there to be a big wash of distorted guitars, but then again when don't I? The vocal quality is mostly good, but it seems to be peaking somewhere -which made for a somewhat unpleasant listening experience. There might have been further coolness in the song, but I started skipping through around the 1:00 mark and then gave up entirely. Sorry.
Berkeley Social Scene - You've created quite the soundscape here. It's got vibe. Almost a little bit TOO busy. Almost. I enjoy maximilism (not a word, I'm sure, but you get the gist). The vocalist matches the song here (Ken?). Love the jazzy chorus, too. I must say, though, that the ratty solo tone seemed a little out of place. Just a tiny bit. All around, good stuff.
Rycehat - Ooh, the 2nd vocalist and the strings were a surprise. I heard a single voice and guitar and was anticipating 3 minutes of that. Nice touch. Okay, cheesy keyboard seems a little out of place. Big props for the vocal quality and the interweaving harmonies, etc. Melody/lyrics don't really move me, though.
Hostess Mostess - Cool intro. Really grabs you. Needs better drums and less tinny vocal sound. Awesome guitar sound -perfect fit for this song. I give it as my opinion that the repeated "stand"s/"you"s need to be delays/echos as opposed to you actually singing them. Maybe even have them panned; i.e, the first "stand" repeat panned hard left, the second panned hard right, etc. My only issues here are production issues. Otherwise, this is good stuff.
Some Guy Called Noel - Great vocals and vocal tones. How are you achieving this? Acoustics could use a little bit of noise reduction (try FLOORFISH -it's a free VST). Maybe even a little stereo widening on them as well (GMulti -another free VST -does multiband stereo widening as well; wicked cool). Liked the song. Don't know that it'll stick with me, but it was very good nonetheless. I might even give it a second listen.
Jonathan Mann - Big breath! Heh. Whoa, the acoustic is way out on Pluto and you're six inches from my ear. Ah, and now it's closer. Stylistic choice, I see. I can dig it. Chorus is great. Very catchy. Hmmm, I seem to like the parts where you're not singing the most [bad grammatical construct on my part here -sorry]. Your voice is good, though. I just like the melodies of the chorus and bridge better. This is good -I would just develop some of the verse melodies differently and maybe add more reverb on the voice or less on the acoustic during the verses. Solid entry.
Stucco Lobster Breadbox - It goes without saying that the production here is terrible. Nevertheless, this is absolutely hilarious. I knew EXACTLY what you were going to sing about when you started with "but the one part that I liked...". Thanks you for this. I almost wanted this to go on a little longer but you definitely ended on a high note. This needs to go on one of my home videos as the soundtrack.
PTP - Vocal is too loud -which makes the heavy compression and gating overly obvious. Bass tone is wicked cool -nice and round. Don't care for the lyrics. They're a little hokey in my opinion. Maybe I missed it, but this song needs a bridge or something. Meh. Not bad, but not all that good, either.
Internet Famous - Tempted to skip here. This better get more interesting. Skipping around. Nope, not working for me. Sorry.
Give Our Regards to the Earth's Core - Beta pandering to some woman who doesn't care coupled with stalker mantras. Bah! Pretty good production but everything seems a little too reverb-y/distant for a song whose title is "Front and Center" (stylistic preference for me). I also make that comment that given that the lyrics suggest a more intimate/claustrophobic atomostphere. Doesn't move me, but to each his own.
Jeplexe! - Exclamation point in the name...hmmm, you better earn it. Ooh, catchy intro. Great vocals. More harmonies and interwoven leads. Dramatic. That synth needs to be heavier, or else there needs to be some kind of sub pad underneath. Hmm, or not -because we're back to this breezy verse, again. Maximilist goodness. I like this. Okay, you earned the exclamation point and possibly a vote (I only vote for one).
Steve and Ross Durand - Production seems to be a little peaky in the midrange somewhere. That or there's just too much limiting going on. Like the panned guitars/mandolins/banjos/whatever. Seems like kind of throwback to a '50s ditty. The "oohs" seem to come in a jarring fashion. Maybe some more 'verb? Don't know. Pleasant enough stuff - I could even put it on for the folks - but the production is definitely a distraction. Which is kind of odd as this is the one thing that always like on Ross's tunes.
William Parsons Project - Uh oh. Hiss. Ratty Steely Dan tone? Cool! Argh...the vocals are up too loud and the mix is too loud. What's this? A slowdown? Yeah, that's cool. Gnarly solo, man. Agh! There's that overloud vocal again! Haha, gratuitous vulgarity and politics. Interesting. Maybe you could expand on that slowdown part? That was really the only part of this song that I liked.
Jeffrey Davis - Lo-fi. Hmmm. Kind of digging the chipmunks. Oh, this is short...and it's not going anywhere. Hey, screw you buddy! Some people's kids...
The Weakest Suit - I don't believe that I've actually liked any of your tunes before, but I'm holding out hope here. Love the doubled vocals. Cool verse -starting to repeat a bit much. Okay, liking this. Nice chorus. Hmm, just about the time I get annoyed with the verse repetition you get back to that chorus, again. Definitely liking this more than anything else you've. Still not my favorite, but it's good stuff.
yelyah - Vocals a little peaky -which is a big distraction. Fun, bouncy little melody. Lyrics not moving me. Feel like the instruments could all get a little bit of a presence boost (~6 kHz) or maybe they'd stand out more if the vocals were pulled back a little bit.
Berkeley Social Scene - You've created quite the soundscape here. It's got vibe. Almost a little bit TOO busy. Almost. I enjoy maximilism (not a word, I'm sure, but you get the gist). The vocalist matches the song here (Ken?). Love the jazzy chorus, too. I must say, though, that the ratty solo tone seemed a little out of place. Just a tiny bit. All around, good stuff.
Rycehat - Ooh, the 2nd vocalist and the strings were a surprise. I heard a single voice and guitar and was anticipating 3 minutes of that. Nice touch. Okay, cheesy keyboard seems a little out of place. Big props for the vocal quality and the interweaving harmonies, etc. Melody/lyrics don't really move me, though.
Hostess Mostess - Cool intro. Really grabs you. Needs better drums and less tinny vocal sound. Awesome guitar sound -perfect fit for this song. I give it as my opinion that the repeated "stand"s/"you"s need to be delays/echos as opposed to you actually singing them. Maybe even have them panned; i.e, the first "stand" repeat panned hard left, the second panned hard right, etc. My only issues here are production issues. Otherwise, this is good stuff.
Some Guy Called Noel - Great vocals and vocal tones. How are you achieving this? Acoustics could use a little bit of noise reduction (try FLOORFISH -it's a free VST). Maybe even a little stereo widening on them as well (GMulti -another free VST -does multiband stereo widening as well; wicked cool). Liked the song. Don't know that it'll stick with me, but it was very good nonetheless. I might even give it a second listen.
Jonathan Mann - Big breath! Heh. Whoa, the acoustic is way out on Pluto and you're six inches from my ear. Ah, and now it's closer. Stylistic choice, I see. I can dig it. Chorus is great. Very catchy. Hmmm, I seem to like the parts where you're not singing the most [bad grammatical construct on my part here -sorry]. Your voice is good, though. I just like the melodies of the chorus and bridge better. This is good -I would just develop some of the verse melodies differently and maybe add more reverb on the voice or less on the acoustic during the verses. Solid entry.
Stucco Lobster Breadbox - It goes without saying that the production here is terrible. Nevertheless, this is absolutely hilarious. I knew EXACTLY what you were going to sing about when you started with "but the one part that I liked...". Thanks you for this. I almost wanted this to go on a little longer but you definitely ended on a high note. This needs to go on one of my home videos as the soundtrack.
PTP - Vocal is too loud -which makes the heavy compression and gating overly obvious. Bass tone is wicked cool -nice and round. Don't care for the lyrics. They're a little hokey in my opinion. Maybe I missed it, but this song needs a bridge or something. Meh. Not bad, but not all that good, either.
Internet Famous - Tempted to skip here. This better get more interesting. Skipping around. Nope, not working for me. Sorry.
Give Our Regards to the Earth's Core - Beta pandering to some woman who doesn't care coupled with stalker mantras. Bah! Pretty good production but everything seems a little too reverb-y/distant for a song whose title is "Front and Center" (stylistic preference for me). I also make that comment that given that the lyrics suggest a more intimate/claustrophobic atomostphere. Doesn't move me, but to each his own.
Jeplexe! - Exclamation point in the name...hmmm, you better earn it. Ooh, catchy intro. Great vocals. More harmonies and interwoven leads. Dramatic. That synth needs to be heavier, or else there needs to be some kind of sub pad underneath. Hmm, or not -because we're back to this breezy verse, again. Maximilist goodness. I like this. Okay, you earned the exclamation point and possibly a vote (I only vote for one).
Steve and Ross Durand - Production seems to be a little peaky in the midrange somewhere. That or there's just too much limiting going on. Like the panned guitars/mandolins/banjos/whatever. Seems like kind of throwback to a '50s ditty. The "oohs" seem to come in a jarring fashion. Maybe some more 'verb? Don't know. Pleasant enough stuff - I could even put it on for the folks - but the production is definitely a distraction. Which is kind of odd as this is the one thing that always like on Ross's tunes.
William Parsons Project - Uh oh. Hiss. Ratty Steely Dan tone? Cool! Argh...the vocals are up too loud and the mix is too loud. What's this? A slowdown? Yeah, that's cool. Gnarly solo, man. Agh! There's that overloud vocal again! Haha, gratuitous vulgarity and politics. Interesting. Maybe you could expand on that slowdown part? That was really the only part of this song that I liked.
Jeffrey Davis - Lo-fi. Hmmm. Kind of digging the chipmunks. Oh, this is short...and it's not going anywhere. Hey, screw you buddy! Some people's kids...
The Weakest Suit - I don't believe that I've actually liked any of your tunes before, but I'm holding out hope here. Love the doubled vocals. Cool verse -starting to repeat a bit much. Okay, liking this. Nice chorus. Hmm, just about the time I get annoyed with the verse repetition you get back to that chorus, again. Definitely liking this more than anything else you've. Still not my favorite, but it's good stuff.
yelyah - Vocals a little peaky -which is a big distraction. Fun, bouncy little melody. Lyrics not moving me. Feel like the instruments could all get a little bit of a presence boost (~6 kHz) or maybe they'd stand out more if the vocals were pulled back a little bit.
"In Heavy Metal... Precision is ALL. ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN AT ALL TIMES.... HAHAHA. Yes indeedy." --Slipperman
www.metalunarocks.com
www.metalunarocks.com
- bdog5778
- Llama
- Posts: 92
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
One more thing: the vote goes to Jeplexe!
Vibey, complex, intriguing, and cool. Me likey.
If I voted more than once, I would have put BSS and Some Guy Called Noel in there. Good show, nice form, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Vibey, complex, intriguing, and cool. Me likey.
If I voted more than once, I would have put BSS and Some Guy Called Noel in there. Good show, nice form, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
"In Heavy Metal... Precision is ALL. ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN AT ALL TIMES.... HAHAHA. Yes indeedy." --Slipperman
www.metalunarocks.com
www.metalunarocks.com
- fluffy
- Unstable Diffusion
- Posts: 11141
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
You realize that you can vote for more than one entry now, right?bdog5778 wrote:If I voted more than once, I would have put BSS and Some Guy Called Noel in there. Good show, nice form, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
- bdog5778
- Llama
- Posts: 92
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Well aware. One vote is just how I roll.fluffy wrote:You realize that you can vote for more than one entry now, right?bdog5778 wrote:If I voted more than once, I would have put BSS and Some Guy Called Noel in there. Good show, nice form, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
"In Heavy Metal... Precision is ALL. ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN AT ALL TIMES.... HAHAHA. Yes indeedy." --Slipperman
www.metalunarocks.com
www.metalunarocks.com
- Caravan Ray
- bono
- Posts: 8684
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 1:51 pm
- Instruments: Penis
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
LORD OF OATS: Woah! 80s flashback. I hope you were wearing a puffy shirt while recording this. Pretty good effort. The synth is good. Vocals a little too reverby and harsh. Generally I like it. Possible vote
- Caravan Ray
- bono
- Posts: 8684
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
JONATHAN MANN: Interesting sound. Cool chorus. Not bad, but not really grabbing me.
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- Grok
- Posts: 1160
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Hello everybody! Nice to be back after a long hiatus. This was a generally strong fight, I think. High stakes, yo!
---------------------------------
Internet Famous:
Pretty weird! Reminds me of Ken Nordine. Actually, I think this would benefit from a more Nordine-like delivery. Sand and gravel in the vox instead of this high flutey thing you’ve got happening. The poetry/lyrics aren’t my thing – a parade/ mob ends at an outdoor Shakespeare fest where a government wonk delivers Hamlet’s soliloquy directly over a munitions cache? I like abstract expressionism in my lyrics and poetry but your lyrical decisions here seem a little arbitrary and without narrative or symbolic logic. Maybe I’m just too dense.
Some Guy Called Noel:
Love the elegant and spare instrumentation, although it gets slightly monotonous toward the end. I’d love this even more if you kept the sparse and open feel of this arrangement, but also managed to give the song a small dynamic build. Add a little something to prevent that guitar riff from gliding into repetitive territory – I’m a big fan of oddball percussion to fill this bill… or crash swells. This is all arrangement quibble though. The song is great, LOVE the lyrics, and the performance is appropriately rueful without overstepping into maudlin territory. Nice work.
Stucco Lobster Breadbox:
Have you listened to this guy?
http://www.youtube.com/user/kuntandthegang?blend=1&ob=4
If you set this little ditty to a humorous video, you’d likely get some Intarweb notoriety. Casiocore novelty humor is not really my bag, as it were, and I think I could have lived my life happily without having heard the phrase, “trifecta of skin sacks”… but people who are into this stuff will likely dig it. Especially if you set it to poorly-Flash-animated kittehs or whathaveyou.
Jeffrey Davis:
“Hey kids! I smoked a bongload of purple nurple and twiddled my pitch knob for 2 hours! It was AWESOME!” This is like a Ween outtake. No thanks.
Rycehat:
Very John Linnell. I like John Linnell, but his vocal style is so distinct that the similarity is a little off-putting. But no matter, the song is very well-executed. I start to loose a little interest somewhere in the middle -- you do a great job of building and evolving the melody up to about the 2:00 point, and then things seem to get a little stuck in a plateau. Maybe have things drop back to a sparser instrumentation in the middle? Other than somehow punching up the interest after the initial launch sequence, I have little advice to offer. Well, honestly, that Kirstie Alley line grates as a little too over-the-top and cutesy, but otherwise this is pretty solid.
The Bros. Durand:
Man, that pedal steel is awesome. And this song is utterly charming. Steve, I think I've mentioned before that your vocal delivery is a little on the stilted side -- which is to say it sounds a little precise and stiff for this laid-back island romp. I think part of the problem may be that you have a lot of words in there to hit in not very much time. I'm honestly not sure. Maybe some fruity umbrella drinks prior to the recording session? I also would have loved to hear some S. Durand horns added to this piece, (but really, what song wouldn't benefit from such an addition?) This is all-around pretty neat.
Weakest Suit:
That opening promises epic things! Love that beginning. The chorus doesn't quite live up to the build of the verses, but it's certainly not bad. I'm having trouble parsing the lyrics -- I'm not following them. ("Arm-a-dale?") Pretty solid entry.
William Parson's Project:
I will confess some serious genre-bias here. Generally, I would advise the song is too loose and shaggy to chase after some of the more proggy stuff that you've attempted here. Those dramatic changes sound really sloppy. I would have liked this effort better as a loose and standard blues -- although maybe I would like it better as-is with a tighter performance. Hard to say. This is another entry with a lot of words in it. Words are cool, I love words -- but flow is often easier with less of them. I'm frequently guilty of overstuffing my verses myself so I can empathize with your desire to cram all that verbiage in there, but I suggest going after your lyrics with some serious pruning sheers to cut them down to more manageable mouthfuls.
Yelyah:
This ain't half bad, and I'm always delighted to hear women on SF, so hooray for that! This song is pretty good, but it's hard for me to appreciate it fully in its current casiocore incarnation -- that chord loop is just so plodding and robotic, and this song begs for a more organic treatment. Maybe just a simple piano accompaniment. Nothing fancy or ornate -- but soulful. Your voice is very pretty, but you are loosing your pitch a little bit on some of the extremes. It sounds to me like the faltering may be because you are nervous about hitting those notes, and you're holding back. Don't be shy! Sing hard! With a different arrangement and a little refinement you might really have something here.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Another fantastic opening! Very PNW indie rock. That riff is my favorite part of the tune. The other parts of the song are much more jam-band-y... which unfortunately pushes me into genre-bias territory. It's all well-executed if a little loose at points -- you guys know your sh!t and it shows. Man, but that noodley little riff that immediately follows the opening section is just not my thing. (Aren't fascist aesthetics a terrible thing?) I also feel like the vocals never quite gel with the instrumentation, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would maybe take out the verse harmonies to simplify. (I am a harmony junkie.) I like a lot of parts of this, but for some reason the whole is not winning me over.
GORTTEC:
(I gather that that is Caravan Ray on vocal duty, but who are the rest of you?) Ha ha ha! As usual, Ray has some outrageous and witty lyrics, which are really the star of this show. "Gotta suit of human skin, that I look fantastic in, when you see it, well you're gonna love me too!" This belongs in Silence! (The Musical.)
http://www.jonandal.com/silence.html
The music is somewhat less remarkable, but certainly not shabby as an exercise in psychedelic surf. I get more excited about it all when the surftastic "ooooooos" and vocal layering come in. Make of that what you will.
Hostess:
As always, a solid entry. And nice maiden voyage on drum duty! For some reason, this strikes me as a mashup of Harry Nilsson and Pink Floyd... or maybe The Who... which is a little bit odd as mashups go...but it seems to work for you. I would like to see it rendered in an epic arena rock style. With a laser light show. Which is to say, I suppose this is a smidgen on the cheesy side... but, you know what? I like big cheesy rock. Pushing this song to the limit of the "fromage grand" genre would really sell it, I think. (I am being completely sincere.)
Jeplexe:
This is the bros. K and I. The exclamation point is an accident. We kinda ran out of time, and as a result, this song ended up being a lot more of me and a lot less of the bros K, which is less than ideal. Also, I notice that we have some rather shocking pitch problems. Whew. Finally, I wanted the "Front and Center" section to be much bigger and meatier, but this was what I had at the 11th hour, so mote it be.
Jonathan Mann:
Very nice. Drop those verse vocals into the mix a little bit. I understand the effect you're shooting for, but the vocals are so lonely way up there. I like your atmospheric production otherwise a great deal. And I really like those "oooooo" choruses. That is a seriously hooky little riff. The verses aren't grabbing me quite as much, but you definitely have something in that chorus. Pizzicato strings on the verses sure would be nice. Everything is just so minimal in those parts... I feel like I need something else to hold onto.
Lord of Oats:
I love love LOVE those keyboard/synthy loops you've written. Those are really spectacular. I kind of want to steal them. And Your vocal tone is very Ian Curtis. I think the problem is that your vocal parts get incredibly monotonous. (On the other hand, you may have noticed that Ian Curtis didn't exactly have a wild range either.) I think my recommendation for this song would be to shorten it and take out 40% of the vocals. Let there be more space between words -- like so:
Words ------------Words--------------Words
WordsWordswordswordswords
-------------------------------------------
Words----------Words---------------Words
WordsWordswordswordswords
(that's a very sketchy / abstract attempt at representing what I'm trying to convey)
But really, the bones in this song are so good. You could have a real dance hit with a little work.
PTP:
Hmmmm. This is another case of "not my thing," and as a result I'm not really sure how to give you useful feedback on this one. This strikes my palate as schmaltzy in the not-good way. Your start / stoppy thing that you have going on doesn't work for me. It sounds awkward and stumble-y. I'd rather hear this without the halting bits. (No pause after "she sat next to me" for example.)
Like many others in this fight, you probably have a few too many words crammed in your song. Thin them buggers out, and everything will likely flow a little more easily! For example:
"On a short hop to Nashville, she sat next to me"
vs.
"A short hop to Nasville -- she sat next to me"
Try it! I've only trimmed one little tiny indefinite article from your lyric, but it's so much easier to say in the structure you've got here. (And I don't think the loss of the "a" compromises the clarity.)
The lyrics overall are a little too "Freedom isn't free" for my tastes, but that's because I'm a stinkin' pinko, and I certainly can't hold that against you.
------------------------------------
Cheers everyone!
Edit: And thanks for the voe, B-dawg!
Edit edit: VOTE that is.
--M
---------------------------------
Internet Famous:
Pretty weird! Reminds me of Ken Nordine. Actually, I think this would benefit from a more Nordine-like delivery. Sand and gravel in the vox instead of this high flutey thing you’ve got happening. The poetry/lyrics aren’t my thing – a parade/ mob ends at an outdoor Shakespeare fest where a government wonk delivers Hamlet’s soliloquy directly over a munitions cache? I like abstract expressionism in my lyrics and poetry but your lyrical decisions here seem a little arbitrary and without narrative or symbolic logic. Maybe I’m just too dense.
Some Guy Called Noel:
Love the elegant and spare instrumentation, although it gets slightly monotonous toward the end. I’d love this even more if you kept the sparse and open feel of this arrangement, but also managed to give the song a small dynamic build. Add a little something to prevent that guitar riff from gliding into repetitive territory – I’m a big fan of oddball percussion to fill this bill… or crash swells. This is all arrangement quibble though. The song is great, LOVE the lyrics, and the performance is appropriately rueful without overstepping into maudlin territory. Nice work.
Stucco Lobster Breadbox:
Have you listened to this guy?
http://www.youtube.com/user/kuntandthegang?blend=1&ob=4
If you set this little ditty to a humorous video, you’d likely get some Intarweb notoriety. Casiocore novelty humor is not really my bag, as it were, and I think I could have lived my life happily without having heard the phrase, “trifecta of skin sacks”… but people who are into this stuff will likely dig it. Especially if you set it to poorly-Flash-animated kittehs or whathaveyou.
Jeffrey Davis:
“Hey kids! I smoked a bongload of purple nurple and twiddled my pitch knob for 2 hours! It was AWESOME!” This is like a Ween outtake. No thanks.
Rycehat:
Very John Linnell. I like John Linnell, but his vocal style is so distinct that the similarity is a little off-putting. But no matter, the song is very well-executed. I start to loose a little interest somewhere in the middle -- you do a great job of building and evolving the melody up to about the 2:00 point, and then things seem to get a little stuck in a plateau. Maybe have things drop back to a sparser instrumentation in the middle? Other than somehow punching up the interest after the initial launch sequence, I have little advice to offer. Well, honestly, that Kirstie Alley line grates as a little too over-the-top and cutesy, but otherwise this is pretty solid.
The Bros. Durand:
Man, that pedal steel is awesome. And this song is utterly charming. Steve, I think I've mentioned before that your vocal delivery is a little on the stilted side -- which is to say it sounds a little precise and stiff for this laid-back island romp. I think part of the problem may be that you have a lot of words in there to hit in not very much time. I'm honestly not sure. Maybe some fruity umbrella drinks prior to the recording session? I also would have loved to hear some S. Durand horns added to this piece, (but really, what song wouldn't benefit from such an addition?) This is all-around pretty neat.
Weakest Suit:
That opening promises epic things! Love that beginning. The chorus doesn't quite live up to the build of the verses, but it's certainly not bad. I'm having trouble parsing the lyrics -- I'm not following them. ("Arm-a-dale?") Pretty solid entry.
William Parson's Project:
I will confess some serious genre-bias here. Generally, I would advise the song is too loose and shaggy to chase after some of the more proggy stuff that you've attempted here. Those dramatic changes sound really sloppy. I would have liked this effort better as a loose and standard blues -- although maybe I would like it better as-is with a tighter performance. Hard to say. This is another entry with a lot of words in it. Words are cool, I love words -- but flow is often easier with less of them. I'm frequently guilty of overstuffing my verses myself so I can empathize with your desire to cram all that verbiage in there, but I suggest going after your lyrics with some serious pruning sheers to cut them down to more manageable mouthfuls.
Yelyah:
This ain't half bad, and I'm always delighted to hear women on SF, so hooray for that! This song is pretty good, but it's hard for me to appreciate it fully in its current casiocore incarnation -- that chord loop is just so plodding and robotic, and this song begs for a more organic treatment. Maybe just a simple piano accompaniment. Nothing fancy or ornate -- but soulful. Your voice is very pretty, but you are loosing your pitch a little bit on some of the extremes. It sounds to me like the faltering may be because you are nervous about hitting those notes, and you're holding back. Don't be shy! Sing hard! With a different arrangement and a little refinement you might really have something here.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Another fantastic opening! Very PNW indie rock. That riff is my favorite part of the tune. The other parts of the song are much more jam-band-y... which unfortunately pushes me into genre-bias territory. It's all well-executed if a little loose at points -- you guys know your sh!t and it shows. Man, but that noodley little riff that immediately follows the opening section is just not my thing. (Aren't fascist aesthetics a terrible thing?) I also feel like the vocals never quite gel with the instrumentation, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would maybe take out the verse harmonies to simplify. (I am a harmony junkie.) I like a lot of parts of this, but for some reason the whole is not winning me over.
GORTTEC:
(I gather that that is Caravan Ray on vocal duty, but who are the rest of you?) Ha ha ha! As usual, Ray has some outrageous and witty lyrics, which are really the star of this show. "Gotta suit of human skin, that I look fantastic in, when you see it, well you're gonna love me too!" This belongs in Silence! (The Musical.)
http://www.jonandal.com/silence.html
The music is somewhat less remarkable, but certainly not shabby as an exercise in psychedelic surf. I get more excited about it all when the surftastic "ooooooos" and vocal layering come in. Make of that what you will.
Hostess:
As always, a solid entry. And nice maiden voyage on drum duty! For some reason, this strikes me as a mashup of Harry Nilsson and Pink Floyd... or maybe The Who... which is a little bit odd as mashups go...but it seems to work for you. I would like to see it rendered in an epic arena rock style. With a laser light show. Which is to say, I suppose this is a smidgen on the cheesy side... but, you know what? I like big cheesy rock. Pushing this song to the limit of the "fromage grand" genre would really sell it, I think. (I am being completely sincere.)
Jeplexe:
This is the bros. K and I. The exclamation point is an accident. We kinda ran out of time, and as a result, this song ended up being a lot more of me and a lot less of the bros K, which is less than ideal. Also, I notice that we have some rather shocking pitch problems. Whew. Finally, I wanted the "Front and Center" section to be much bigger and meatier, but this was what I had at the 11th hour, so mote it be.
Jonathan Mann:
Very nice. Drop those verse vocals into the mix a little bit. I understand the effect you're shooting for, but the vocals are so lonely way up there. I like your atmospheric production otherwise a great deal. And I really like those "oooooo" choruses. That is a seriously hooky little riff. The verses aren't grabbing me quite as much, but you definitely have something in that chorus. Pizzicato strings on the verses sure would be nice. Everything is just so minimal in those parts... I feel like I need something else to hold onto.
Lord of Oats:
I love love LOVE those keyboard/synthy loops you've written. Those are really spectacular. I kind of want to steal them. And Your vocal tone is very Ian Curtis. I think the problem is that your vocal parts get incredibly monotonous. (On the other hand, you may have noticed that Ian Curtis didn't exactly have a wild range either.) I think my recommendation for this song would be to shorten it and take out 40% of the vocals. Let there be more space between words -- like so:
Words ------------Words--------------Words
WordsWordswordswordswords
-------------------------------------------
Words----------Words---------------Words
WordsWordswordswordswords
(that's a very sketchy / abstract attempt at representing what I'm trying to convey)
But really, the bones in this song are so good. You could have a real dance hit with a little work.
PTP:
Hmmmm. This is another case of "not my thing," and as a result I'm not really sure how to give you useful feedback on this one. This strikes my palate as schmaltzy in the not-good way. Your start / stoppy thing that you have going on doesn't work for me. It sounds awkward and stumble-y. I'd rather hear this without the halting bits. (No pause after "she sat next to me" for example.)
Like many others in this fight, you probably have a few too many words crammed in your song. Thin them buggers out, and everything will likely flow a little more easily! For example:
"On a short hop to Nashville, she sat next to me"
vs.
"A short hop to Nasville -- she sat next to me"
Try it! I've only trimmed one little tiny indefinite article from your lyric, but it's so much easier to say in the structure you've got here. (And I don't think the loss of the "a" compromises the clarity.)
The lyrics overall are a little too "Freedom isn't free" for my tastes, but that's because I'm a stinkin' pinko, and I certainly can't hold that against you.
------------------------------------
Cheers everyone!
Edit: And thanks for the voe, B-dawg!
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
Edit edit: VOTE that is.
--M
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- Mixtral
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
anti-m: thanks for the review. i didn't think anyone would figure out the word at the end right. i am about halfway through the book "Armadale" and the song is about the place i was at when i decided to write "Front and Center".
- glennny
- DALL-E
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Anti-M
quite alright though, I have my own fascist aesthetics.
I think I'd do singular vocals if I had a stronger voice. I think with the weakness of my voice harmonies strengthen it, similar to Phish (they sound best when they all sing). However if we had Erin available, the lyrics would be much better and the singular vocals would sound great. In any case I'm pretty happy with the vocals, i think they're pretty good for me, and it seems judging from the 2 reviews they might be marginal.
Thanks for the review, i hope I actually get to them this time around.
great fight everyone.
so thank you! And basically you like all things Ken, and are "not my thing" about all things glennnyBerkeley Social Scene:
Another fantastic opening! Very PNW indie rock. That riff is my favorite part of the tune. The other parts of the song are much more jam-band-y... which unfortunately pushes me into genre-bias territory. It's all well-executed if a little loose at points -- you guys know your sh!t and it shows. Man, but that noodley little riff that immediately follows the opening section is just not my thing. (Aren't fascist aesthetics a terrible thing?) I also feel like the vocals never quite gel with the instrumentation, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would maybe take out the verse harmonies to simplify. (I am a harmony junkie.) I like a lot of parts of this, but for some reason the whole is not winning me over.
quite alright though, I have my own fascist aesthetics.
I think I'd do singular vocals if I had a stronger voice. I think with the weakness of my voice harmonies strengthen it, similar to Phish (they sound best when they all sing). However if we had Erin available, the lyrics would be much better and the singular vocals would sound great. In any case I'm pretty happy with the vocals, i think they're pretty good for me, and it seems judging from the 2 reviews they might be marginal.
Thanks for the review, i hope I actually get to them this time around.
great fight everyone.
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
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- Grok
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Aw man! It was not my intent to pick on you!glennny wrote:
so thank you! And basically you like all things Ken, and are "not my thing" about all things glennny
![Embarrassed :oops:](./images/smilies/icon_redface.gif)
Purely a matter of flavor preference, though! The song was great -- even the noodley appendages!
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_e_biggrin.gif)
WS: I can't believe I accurately discerned the final word! Do I get a prize?
The fact that the song is about a specific section in a specific book explains why it comes across as a trifle obscure. (I like obscurity.)
--M
- glennny
- DALL-E
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Giver Our Regards to the Earths Core- Despite being a 12-bar, I really enjoy this. The drum beat is super cool. What is the difference between Caravan Ray and GMRTTEC? The bridge is my favorite part! If I were to nitpick I’d advise against the rock and rock stuttering. This is fun. Gets a VOTE!
Hostess Mostess- I feel bad criticizing the drums, I myself am a terrible drummer. The beat isn’t that interesting and it’s pretty sloppy. I’m desperately missing a bass line. Your voice is great. The main vocal melody is repeated perhaps too much. The overall vibe is actually pretty cool. I guess I just want to hear more melodies and tighter performances. The Supertramp keys are nice.
Internet Famous- Nice vocals! There’s kind of a Jazz Discharge Party Hat incidental jazz melody to the vocals. I feel like you could play anything behind that vocal line and it’d sound alright. This has interesting backing music. I don’t get the movie clips. It’s like 21st century beat poetry. I liked this listen, but I don’t think I fully get it.
Jeffery Davis- 59 seconds too long! What is the name of this song? Is this a song? It is indeed an audio file, close enough.
Jeplexe- Hmmm, that beautiful vibrato, and a saw, let me be so bold as to guess this is the Anti-M track. Well I freaking love it. The staccato vocals counterpoint to the soaring vocals is just genius! There is however an out of tune guitar, or guitar with bad intonation that lowers this song from perfection. This is just wonderful, easily gets a VOTE!
Jonathon Mann- I love it. The reverb sounds great. You’re really good at dynamics, and especially in this song. That bass is groovy! Nice mood, great song, but I’m really missing a solo. This would be fun to solo over, it’s got that Lou Reed or Roger Waters vibe, I can imagine a Jeff Beck like solo over this. Good stuff! VOTE!
Lord of Oats- I dig the programmed music. I dig the New Wave vocals. Some of the lines are deliverd a little awkward. “…if I’ll ever satisfy you” I think words like “satisfy” when sung should keep their stresses. Instead of Sat Iss Fy You, I’d have done SatisFyyyy You. Anyway this is a cool listen. I’m trying to justify the last 90 seconds of this song however. I think you said it all in 3:30, perhaps this is the dance version. Very cool stuff, short of a vote I’m afraid.
PTP- Vocals are too hot for my tastes. Sounds like there is a drum session going on down the Hall and you’re recording over the bleed. This melody is rather redundant. This is non offensive, but also not very engaging. Thank you for telling me about life, I get most of my philosophy and ethics from rock lyrics.
Rycehat- Wow this starts good. I don’t like your voice, but you write great melodies! The harmonies are very good too! The strings are great. The acoustic sounds great. I like the entry of the synth, but wish it left after a bit. Cool minimal guitar solo. This all leads up brilliantly to a rather underwhelming chorus. Cool stuff, nice production, I can’t get into it quite enough for a vote.
Some Guy Called Noel- I wish your recordings weren’t so quiet. I love your playing, your melodies and your delivery. This is beautiful! I have heard better stuff from you, but this is great! Reminds me of Jose Gonzalez. Gets a VOTE!
Steve Durand- This is great! Lap steel is a dangerous instrument. There are some sour notes here and there. Most often it sounds great but the lead melody is played without vibrato which requires Precise intonation. It sounds kinda drunk. The song is cute and charming. Gets a VOTE even with the sour notes.
Stucco Lobster Bread Box- Thank you for being short. This is terrible. Not funny, not clever.
The Weakest Suit- This is a nice lazy tune. It takes a long time to get to that hook “… I don’t know ho”. With some orchestration this could be a contender. Like it is now it sounds like an underdeveloped sketch with potential.
William Parsons Project- This mix is terrible. I turn it up to hear the guitar solo, then I’m assaulted with way too hot vocals. Again, there’s some good ideas in there. This sounds like a sketch, needs serious production help, some transition help. I like the tempo changes , but the delivery is very sloppy.
Yelyah- Nice vocals! The drum machine is rather uninteresting. Not much of a hook in this melody. Nice vocal performance however. There’s not much of an emotional arc to this song, nor a dynamic arc. I look forward to your vocals next go round, I think with the right song you’ll have a winner.
Berkeley Social Scene- At our weekly recording session it was Martyr on bass and vocals, Myself on guitar, and Ken on drums. It was a frustrating session. I kept rewriting the chorus. The bass line in the chorus was originally in the guitars. As we left the session we thought we had a dud. Then Ken completely scrapped my guitar track and asked me to redo it. We originally were going to do an acoustic track, but we obviously abandoned that. So Sunday morning I decided to redo the guitar with clean electric per Ken’s request. After one guitar, I was into it and then recorded a 2nd guitar doing 5/4 over the 4/4 in harmony. That gamelan I think gives the rest of the magic to the verse. (most of the magic is the effects on the minimal keys Ken added). So then I felt a guitar solo, then I thought I’d take a stab at vocal ideas. The main melody was based on Martin’s original sketch. I’m pretty happy with the harmonies. Martins bass is tight, kens drums are spot on. I think this is a gem in our catalog!
So overall a rather strong fight!
Votes go to:
Berkeley Social Scene
Steve Durand
Some Guy Called Noel
Jonathon Mann
Jeplexe
Give Our Regards to the Earths Core
Hostess Mostess- I feel bad criticizing the drums, I myself am a terrible drummer. The beat isn’t that interesting and it’s pretty sloppy. I’m desperately missing a bass line. Your voice is great. The main vocal melody is repeated perhaps too much. The overall vibe is actually pretty cool. I guess I just want to hear more melodies and tighter performances. The Supertramp keys are nice.
Internet Famous- Nice vocals! There’s kind of a Jazz Discharge Party Hat incidental jazz melody to the vocals. I feel like you could play anything behind that vocal line and it’d sound alright. This has interesting backing music. I don’t get the movie clips. It’s like 21st century beat poetry. I liked this listen, but I don’t think I fully get it.
Jeffery Davis- 59 seconds too long! What is the name of this song? Is this a song? It is indeed an audio file, close enough.
Jeplexe- Hmmm, that beautiful vibrato, and a saw, let me be so bold as to guess this is the Anti-M track. Well I freaking love it. The staccato vocals counterpoint to the soaring vocals is just genius! There is however an out of tune guitar, or guitar with bad intonation that lowers this song from perfection. This is just wonderful, easily gets a VOTE!
Jonathon Mann- I love it. The reverb sounds great. You’re really good at dynamics, and especially in this song. That bass is groovy! Nice mood, great song, but I’m really missing a solo. This would be fun to solo over, it’s got that Lou Reed or Roger Waters vibe, I can imagine a Jeff Beck like solo over this. Good stuff! VOTE!
Lord of Oats- I dig the programmed music. I dig the New Wave vocals. Some of the lines are deliverd a little awkward. “…if I’ll ever satisfy you” I think words like “satisfy” when sung should keep their stresses. Instead of Sat Iss Fy You, I’d have done SatisFyyyy You. Anyway this is a cool listen. I’m trying to justify the last 90 seconds of this song however. I think you said it all in 3:30, perhaps this is the dance version. Very cool stuff, short of a vote I’m afraid.
PTP- Vocals are too hot for my tastes. Sounds like there is a drum session going on down the Hall and you’re recording over the bleed. This melody is rather redundant. This is non offensive, but also not very engaging. Thank you for telling me about life, I get most of my philosophy and ethics from rock lyrics.
Rycehat- Wow this starts good. I don’t like your voice, but you write great melodies! The harmonies are very good too! The strings are great. The acoustic sounds great. I like the entry of the synth, but wish it left after a bit. Cool minimal guitar solo. This all leads up brilliantly to a rather underwhelming chorus. Cool stuff, nice production, I can’t get into it quite enough for a vote.
Some Guy Called Noel- I wish your recordings weren’t so quiet. I love your playing, your melodies and your delivery. This is beautiful! I have heard better stuff from you, but this is great! Reminds me of Jose Gonzalez. Gets a VOTE!
Steve Durand- This is great! Lap steel is a dangerous instrument. There are some sour notes here and there. Most often it sounds great but the lead melody is played without vibrato which requires Precise intonation. It sounds kinda drunk. The song is cute and charming. Gets a VOTE even with the sour notes.
Stucco Lobster Bread Box- Thank you for being short. This is terrible. Not funny, not clever.
The Weakest Suit- This is a nice lazy tune. It takes a long time to get to that hook “… I don’t know ho”. With some orchestration this could be a contender. Like it is now it sounds like an underdeveloped sketch with potential.
William Parsons Project- This mix is terrible. I turn it up to hear the guitar solo, then I’m assaulted with way too hot vocals. Again, there’s some good ideas in there. This sounds like a sketch, needs serious production help, some transition help. I like the tempo changes , but the delivery is very sloppy.
Yelyah- Nice vocals! The drum machine is rather uninteresting. Not much of a hook in this melody. Nice vocal performance however. There’s not much of an emotional arc to this song, nor a dynamic arc. I look forward to your vocals next go round, I think with the right song you’ll have a winner.
Berkeley Social Scene- At our weekly recording session it was Martyr on bass and vocals, Myself on guitar, and Ken on drums. It was a frustrating session. I kept rewriting the chorus. The bass line in the chorus was originally in the guitars. As we left the session we thought we had a dud. Then Ken completely scrapped my guitar track and asked me to redo it. We originally were going to do an acoustic track, but we obviously abandoned that. So Sunday morning I decided to redo the guitar with clean electric per Ken’s request. After one guitar, I was into it and then recorded a 2nd guitar doing 5/4 over the 4/4 in harmony. That gamelan I think gives the rest of the magic to the verse. (most of the magic is the effects on the minimal keys Ken added). So then I felt a guitar solo, then I thought I’d take a stab at vocal ideas. The main melody was based on Martin’s original sketch. I’m pretty happy with the harmonies. Martins bass is tight, kens drums are spot on. I think this is a gem in our catalog!
So overall a rather strong fight!
Votes go to:
Berkeley Social Scene
Steve Durand
Some Guy Called Noel
Jonathon Mann
Jeplexe
Give Our Regards to the Earths Core
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
- Spintown
- DeepMind
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Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Sammy Kablam reviewed this round on my site, I copied & pasted it below. If you have a response to Sammy you can leave it on the comments section of the blog post: http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2010/04/ ... ement.html
Fight: Front And Center
I'm BAAAAAaaaaack! After a lengthy hiatus that began as illness and slowly became "I just don't wanna", your favorite Song Fight Reviewing Cuddlebunny is back on Spintown with another biting, insightful and all-around correct summary of this week's entries. So, let's stop dicking around with the intro, and head into the perfect prompt for my timely return: "Front And Center"!
SomeGuyCalledNoel
So, this is pretty depressing, but it's a good depressing. In fact, there are only two things that I'm going to point out as negatives: number one, the guitar riff, though wonderfully played, is pretty well repetative; Number two, when you drop to your hook/chorus, you appear to be singing uncomfortably low. As if you're on the verge of being out of your range. Those two points aside, this is an excellent tone setter for the picture it describes, and although it's not a happy song, it is successful in its INTENTION is to not be happy, which, in an indirect way, DOES make me happy. Thank you for starting this off in a pleasant way.
Joanthan Mann (TMA member)
I have only heard a fraction of your repertoire, but this strikes me as the best musically sound song I've heard of yours. I still have no idea what exactly you're talking about. I guess the guy is miserable because he has no friends. But I do get tired of having to decode things. Sometimes, it's nice to just have things put on the table, as opposed to hidden in "poetry".
The Weakest Suit
I'm going to ignore the glaring irony of repeating the line "I'm moving on".... Instead, I'll simply say that you remind me, quite sincerely, of Rogers & Clark. Except without the charm. (Google it, kids.) I'm just saying, this sounds like it's supposed to be motivational and uplifting, and everything about it is incredibly not. It's slow, it's unenthusiastic, the lyrics are repetative, and even vocals don't have any umpf. It sounds like you're just going thru the motions, like the kid in math class that's doodling on his worksheet while watching the clock tick closer to the bell. And you know what? So was I.
yelyah
I don't use the word "hokey" very often, but this is a great opportunity. I mean, this song isn't aggressively irritating, or anything like that, it's just...not really...good. It's more, like...vague and cheesey and overly simplistic, while hoping to be deep and meaningful. I get the sentiment, really, but it's just...hokey.
Jeplexe!
I apologize. At 2:04 I had to stop it. I can't understand the vast of what you're saying, and you're saying it all in a very fecking annoying way. The music was annoying enough from the get-go, but your vocals (or whatever) just tipped the scale. It may be unprofessional to post comments on a song I couldn't bring myself to finish, under the argument of "if you didn't finish it, you didn't hear the whole thing", and that's fine -- Spin doesn't pay me for this, so I'm not a professional. And I can't listen to this for free.
Give Our Regards To The Earth's Core
LOL rape. And badly written rape, at that. I mean, it's totally funny, because he's kidnapping this person and forcing her to do things against her will, but it's because he's in love. So it's funny. It doesn't need to have thought or effort put into the lyrics or anything, just the very idea is funny. Trust me. That's how comedy works; as long as I think it MIGHT be funny and effective, it IS funny and effective. Just ask Carlos Mencia.
PTP
What? This makes virtually no sense. It sounds like you tasted a stranger's hair; then it sounds like you and your wife fight against any authority to can find; then the stranger says she's joining the military -- a decision you praise, after talking about fighting against a very vaguely mentioned "powers that be". And the freakin' hook: "to stand front and center is liberty". What the hell does that even mean? Are you TALKING about being in the military? Because, I'll be honest, I never joined, but I don't ever recall the men and women having much say in where they go, what they do, or when they do it. Something about "taking orders", I think. Which doesn't exactly scream "liberty" to me. But then, maybe you aren't talking about being in the military, which means I just have no clue what your line is supposed to suggest. And your choppy, clunky music and singing pattern doesn't make it any easier to take.
Berkley Social Scene
Your music is pretty great this time. I can't really hear most of the lyrics, and I'm having a hard time not zoning out; I've restarted the song five times, and keep catching myself day dreaming about a minute in. That may sound like a dig, but it's more a compliment to the montage tone of your music. Take that how you will, I guess.
Internet Famous
I really think your next album should be titled "Facepalm". I honestly can't tell if you're trying really hard to be weird, or if you're just really bad. I tend to get a vibe indicating you wish you were TMBG, but I hope that's not the case. I hope you're just being ironic.
Rycehat
Speaking of TMBG, interesting voice. Some of your lyrical rhythm needs work, but overall, this isn't bad. If nothing else, it displays a lot of potential. But, since it wasn't a mess and I'm pretty much just here to mock things, that's really all I have to say.
William Parsons Project
I think it would be simply fantastic if the corpse of Frank Zappa got up and trekked to your home so he could knee you in the groin. You know, just to return the favor.
Steve Durand featuring Ross Durand
This is a cute little song and all, but...I fail to see how it really fits the prompt. I mean, the first line uses the word, "center", but, really. Kinda let down, here.
Hostess Mostess
So, the moment I heard the first line, something didn't feel right. Like...I wasn't sick...but I wasn't sure if I was all that well. I actually started to think maybe I was turning into a "Flagpole Sitta" rip-off. Then I realized it was just your song. Boy, was I ever relieved! Thought I was losing it for a minute, there. Beyond that, though, great entry.
Lord of Oats
There's a lot of weirdness going on here. I'm going to say there's a measure of potential, but I'm not going to say this is really great.
Well! There's the Big Return of Negative Reinforcement! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, and I just can't WAIT for the next round. Keep up the... um... work!
See ya soon,
S. Kablam
(Disclaimer)
As usual these guest reviews do not reflect the opinion of myself. I'm thankful that Sammy is kind enough to do these reviews, and I'm always willing to have others do Song Fight or Song Fu reviews as well. I posted my picks in another blog a couple days ago. I don't review each song, and just made a few short comments about on 7 or 8 of them.
http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2010/04/ ... enter.html
Fight: Front And Center
I'm BAAAAAaaaaack! After a lengthy hiatus that began as illness and slowly became "I just don't wanna", your favorite Song Fight Reviewing Cuddlebunny is back on Spintown with another biting, insightful and all-around correct summary of this week's entries. So, let's stop dicking around with the intro, and head into the perfect prompt for my timely return: "Front And Center"!
SomeGuyCalledNoel
So, this is pretty depressing, but it's a good depressing. In fact, there are only two things that I'm going to point out as negatives: number one, the guitar riff, though wonderfully played, is pretty well repetative; Number two, when you drop to your hook/chorus, you appear to be singing uncomfortably low. As if you're on the verge of being out of your range. Those two points aside, this is an excellent tone setter for the picture it describes, and although it's not a happy song, it is successful in its INTENTION is to not be happy, which, in an indirect way, DOES make me happy. Thank you for starting this off in a pleasant way.
Joanthan Mann (TMA member)
I have only heard a fraction of your repertoire, but this strikes me as the best musically sound song I've heard of yours. I still have no idea what exactly you're talking about. I guess the guy is miserable because he has no friends. But I do get tired of having to decode things. Sometimes, it's nice to just have things put on the table, as opposed to hidden in "poetry".
The Weakest Suit
I'm going to ignore the glaring irony of repeating the line "I'm moving on".... Instead, I'll simply say that you remind me, quite sincerely, of Rogers & Clark. Except without the charm. (Google it, kids.) I'm just saying, this sounds like it's supposed to be motivational and uplifting, and everything about it is incredibly not. It's slow, it's unenthusiastic, the lyrics are repetative, and even vocals don't have any umpf. It sounds like you're just going thru the motions, like the kid in math class that's doodling on his worksheet while watching the clock tick closer to the bell. And you know what? So was I.
yelyah
I don't use the word "hokey" very often, but this is a great opportunity. I mean, this song isn't aggressively irritating, or anything like that, it's just...not really...good. It's more, like...vague and cheesey and overly simplistic, while hoping to be deep and meaningful. I get the sentiment, really, but it's just...hokey.
Jeplexe!
I apologize. At 2:04 I had to stop it. I can't understand the vast of what you're saying, and you're saying it all in a very fecking annoying way. The music was annoying enough from the get-go, but your vocals (or whatever) just tipped the scale. It may be unprofessional to post comments on a song I couldn't bring myself to finish, under the argument of "if you didn't finish it, you didn't hear the whole thing", and that's fine -- Spin doesn't pay me for this, so I'm not a professional. And I can't listen to this for free.
Give Our Regards To The Earth's Core
LOL rape. And badly written rape, at that. I mean, it's totally funny, because he's kidnapping this person and forcing her to do things against her will, but it's because he's in love. So it's funny. It doesn't need to have thought or effort put into the lyrics or anything, just the very idea is funny. Trust me. That's how comedy works; as long as I think it MIGHT be funny and effective, it IS funny and effective. Just ask Carlos Mencia.
PTP
What? This makes virtually no sense. It sounds like you tasted a stranger's hair; then it sounds like you and your wife fight against any authority to can find; then the stranger says she's joining the military -- a decision you praise, after talking about fighting against a very vaguely mentioned "powers that be". And the freakin' hook: "to stand front and center is liberty". What the hell does that even mean? Are you TALKING about being in the military? Because, I'll be honest, I never joined, but I don't ever recall the men and women having much say in where they go, what they do, or when they do it. Something about "taking orders", I think. Which doesn't exactly scream "liberty" to me. But then, maybe you aren't talking about being in the military, which means I just have no clue what your line is supposed to suggest. And your choppy, clunky music and singing pattern doesn't make it any easier to take.
Berkley Social Scene
Your music is pretty great this time. I can't really hear most of the lyrics, and I'm having a hard time not zoning out; I've restarted the song five times, and keep catching myself day dreaming about a minute in. That may sound like a dig, but it's more a compliment to the montage tone of your music. Take that how you will, I guess.
Internet Famous
I really think your next album should be titled "Facepalm". I honestly can't tell if you're trying really hard to be weird, or if you're just really bad. I tend to get a vibe indicating you wish you were TMBG, but I hope that's not the case. I hope you're just being ironic.
Rycehat
Speaking of TMBG, interesting voice. Some of your lyrical rhythm needs work, but overall, this isn't bad. If nothing else, it displays a lot of potential. But, since it wasn't a mess and I'm pretty much just here to mock things, that's really all I have to say.
William Parsons Project
I think it would be simply fantastic if the corpse of Frank Zappa got up and trekked to your home so he could knee you in the groin. You know, just to return the favor.
Steve Durand featuring Ross Durand
This is a cute little song and all, but...I fail to see how it really fits the prompt. I mean, the first line uses the word, "center", but, really. Kinda let down, here.
Hostess Mostess
So, the moment I heard the first line, something didn't feel right. Like...I wasn't sick...but I wasn't sure if I was all that well. I actually started to think maybe I was turning into a "Flagpole Sitta" rip-off. Then I realized it was just your song. Boy, was I ever relieved! Thought I was losing it for a minute, there. Beyond that, though, great entry.
Lord of Oats
There's a lot of weirdness going on here. I'm going to say there's a measure of potential, but I'm not going to say this is really great.
Well! There's the Big Return of Negative Reinforcement! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, and I just can't WAIT for the next round. Keep up the... um... work!
See ya soon,
S. Kablam
(Disclaimer)
As usual these guest reviews do not reflect the opinion of myself. I'm thankful that Sammy is kind enough to do these reviews, and I'm always willing to have others do Song Fight or Song Fu reviews as well. I posted my picks in another blog a couple days ago. I don't review each song, and just made a few short comments about on 7 or 8 of them.
http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2010/04/ ... enter.html
"It's not the worst thing I've ever heard." - frankie big face
https://www.youtube.com/user/Spintown7
https://spintown.bandcamp.com/
http://twitter.com/Spintown
https://open.spotify.com/artist/4DhGXGhyTlGx0RZbYm3jr7
https://www.youtube.com/user/Spintown7
https://spintown.bandcamp.com/
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https://open.spotify.com/artist/4DhGXGhyTlGx0RZbYm3jr7
- Caravan Ray
- bono
- Posts: 8684
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 1:51 pm
- Instruments: Penis
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: Caravan Ray,G.O.R.T.E.C,Lyricburglar,The Thugs from the Scallop Industry
- Location: Toowoomba, Queensland
- Contact:
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Generally the idea was that G.O.R.T.E.C is the name that the non-radio friendly songs go under. A necessary thing because nowadays many of my professional colleagues know I operate under the name "Caravan Ray". The G.O.R.T.E.C songs are the ones I probably don't want brought up in a board meeting.glennny wrote: What is the difference between Caravan Ray and GMRTTEC?
Also, in the case o this one - Caravan Ray entered a song called "That's How I Feel" in a sidefight that sounded a lot like this one
- Caravan Ray
- bono
- Posts: 8684
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 1:51 pm
- Instruments: Penis
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: Caravan Ray,G.O.R.T.E.C,Lyricburglar,The Thugs from the Scallop Industry
- Location: Toowoomba, Queensland
- Contact:
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
It is always encouraging to see Americans make attempts at concepts like sarcasm and irony - ideas which are naturally very foreign to them. Some (like Fluffy) can do it very well. Others, well......Spintown wrote:
Give Our Regards To The Earth's Core
LOL rape. And badly written rape, at that. I mean, it's totally funny, because he's kidnapping this person and forcing her to do things against her will, but it's because he's in love. So it's funny. It doesn't need to have thought or effort put into the lyrics or anything, just the very idea is funny. Trust me. That's how comedy works; as long as I think it MIGHT be funny and effective, it IS funny and effective. Just ask Carlos Mencia.
I really hate having to explain what I have written - but in this case....let me explain - if I was writing a comedy song - I would have put jokes in it. There are no jokes in this song - it is simply a rewriting of "The Monster Mash" - a silly song based on popular culture horror movies that one can dance to. If you really think there are jokes in this song - you are in no position to be lecturing people on what comedy is.
And there is no rape in the song. If you want rape - go to my song "Baby Be Quiet" - http://www.songfight.org/music/baby_be_ ... ay_bbq.mp3
where I do approach the issue - with jokes. That is a comedy song. Go have a listen - see if you can tell the difference.
-
- A New Player
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2006 11:55 pm
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, and Synthesizer. Drums are a necessary evil that I suck at.
- Recording Method: Tascam DM3200 + various DAWs + VSTs for tracking & mixing.
- Submitting as: William Parsons Project
- Pronouns: he/him
- Location: SF Bay Area
- Contact:
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Apologies to all for the really crappy mix. I really wanted to be in this fight, but I ran out of time. I've attached a proper mix which actually includes the automation and the keyboard parts if anyone wants to have a listen.
@Spintown: I was nowhere in the vicinity of Frank Zappa's crotch, at least not with any intention. While I have and like "Apostrophe" and "Joe's Garage" I don't think anything I've done here sounds anything like those albums. I'll plead ignorance to any other material that this song (poorly) resembles.
What I was going for was a mash-up of early seventies Detroit protopunk with a touch of prog: MC5-Lake-and-Palmer. I think that's more evident in the mix which I've attached.
Thanks for the feedback!
-W.P.
@Spintown: I was nowhere in the vicinity of Frank Zappa's crotch, at least not with any intention. While I have and like "Apostrophe" and "Joe's Garage" I don't think anything I've done here sounds anything like those albums. I'll plead ignorance to any other material that this song (poorly) resembles.
What I was going for was a mash-up of early seventies Detroit protopunk with a touch of prog: MC5-Lake-and-Palmer. I think that's more evident in the mix which I've attached.
Thanks for the feedback!
-W.P.
- Attachments
-
- williamparsonsproject_fac_remix.mp3
- (2.55 MiB) Downloaded 234 times
![Uber Geek :ugeek:](./images/smilies/icon_e_ugeek.gif)
Code: Select all
\ / |
\/\/illiam| “The corpse of Frank Zappa
___ | should knee you in the groin
|___) | …you know…to return the favor”
|arsons |
___ | ”If Barry Gibb joined ZZ Top…”
|___) |
|roject |
- Spintown
- DeepMind
- Posts: 461
- Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:27 pm
- Submitting as: Spintown & Company
- Pronouns: he/him
- Contact:
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
@WilliamParsonsProject: I wouldn't know if your song sounded like Frank Zappa or not. For the most part I listen to stuff like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin Nat King Cole, etc... The only other music I listen to on a regular basis is stuff from Song Fu, Song Fight, & YouTube. I've heard the name before, but couldn't even tell you 1 of his songs.
"It's not the worst thing I've ever heard." - frankie big face
https://www.youtube.com/user/Spintown7
https://spintown.bandcamp.com/
http://twitter.com/Spintown
https://open.spotify.com/artist/4DhGXGhyTlGx0RZbYm3jr7
https://www.youtube.com/user/Spintown7
https://spintown.bandcamp.com/
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- floatingman
- A New Player
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:49 pm
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Heart
- Recording Method: Reaper
- Submitting as: Dan The Man Band
- Location: Murfreesboro, TN
- Contact:
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Man! Lord of Oats, I think you stole my brainwaves. I was going to do a Joy Division/New Order type song for this fight and your song was spot on. I just recently watched24 Hour Party People and Control and now I'm obsessed with Ian Curtis. Great job!
Anything worth doing is worth doing right.
http://soundcloud.com/floatingman
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http://soundcloud.com/floatingman
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- fluffy
- Unstable Diffusion
- Posts: 11141
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:56 am
- Instruments: sometimes
- Recording Method: Logic Pro X
- Submitting as: Sockpuppet
- Pronouns: she/they
- Location: Seattle-ish
- Contact:
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Here are some that you may have heard of:Spintown wrote:@WilliamParsonsProject: I wouldn't know if your song sounded like Frank Zappa or not. For the most part I listen to stuff like Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin Nat King Cole, etc... The only other music I listen to on a regular basis is stuff from Song Fu, Song Fight, & YouTube. I've heard the name before, but couldn't even tell you 1 of his songs.
Valley Girl
Moving To Montana
Peaches En Regalia
Trouble Every Day
Return of the Son of Monster Magnet
"Strictly Commercial" is a good place to start, being a best-of compilation which is mostly his best songs, rather than just his best-known songs (although most of those are on there). "Freak Out!" is also great, especially where it goes into freejazz jam weirdness. I really need to get more Zappa in my collection.
- glennny
- DALL-E
- Posts: 2235
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:39 am
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Dobro, Banjo, E-Bow, Glock
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: Berkeley Social Scene
- Location: Castro Valley, California
Re: Wanted: lead reviewer (Front and Center)
Did I hear Zappa talk?
here are the essential Zappa:
One Size Fits All
The Roxy and Elsewhere
We're Only in it for the Money
Uncle Meat
Joe's Garage
Apostrophe/Overnite Sensation
The Man from Utopia
I have 60 of the 80 or so titles, i love them all, but those 8 are my most listened to and beloved.
Were you to get only one Zappa album get "One Size Fits All"
here are the essential Zappa:
One Size Fits All
The Roxy and Elsewhere
We're Only in it for the Money
Uncle Meat
Joe's Garage
Apostrophe/Overnite Sensation
The Man from Utopia
I have 60 of the 80 or so titles, i love them all, but those 8 are my most listened to and beloved.
Were you to get only one Zappa album get "One Size Fits All"
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers