Hello everybody! Nice to be back after a long hiatus. This was a generally strong fight, I think. High stakes, yo!
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Internet Famous:
Pretty weird! Reminds me of Ken Nordine. Actually, I think this would benefit from a more Nordine-like delivery. Sand and gravel in the vox instead of this high flutey thing you’ve got happening. The poetry/lyrics aren’t my thing – a parade/ mob ends at an outdoor Shakespeare fest where a government wonk delivers Hamlet’s soliloquy directly over a munitions cache? I like abstract expressionism in my lyrics and poetry but your lyrical decisions here seem a little arbitrary and without narrative or symbolic logic. Maybe I’m just too dense.
Some Guy Called Noel:
Love the elegant and spare instrumentation, although it gets slightly monotonous toward the end. I’d love this even more if you kept the sparse and open feel of this arrangement, but also managed to give the song a small dynamic build. Add a little something to prevent that guitar riff from gliding into repetitive territory – I’m a big fan of oddball percussion to fill this bill… or crash swells. This is all arrangement quibble though. The song is great, LOVE the lyrics, and the performance is appropriately rueful without overstepping into maudlin territory. Nice work.
Stucco Lobster Breadbox:
Have you listened to this guy?
http://www.youtube.com/user/kuntandthegang?blend=1&ob=4
If you set this little ditty to a humorous video, you’d likely get some Intarweb notoriety. Casiocore novelty humor is not really my bag, as it were, and I think I could have lived my life happily without having heard the phrase, “trifecta of skin sacks”… but people who are into this stuff will likely dig it. Especially if you set it to poorly-Flash-animated kittehs or whathaveyou.
Jeffrey Davis:
“Hey kids! I smoked a bongload of purple nurple and twiddled my pitch knob for 2 hours! It was AWESOME!” This is like a Ween outtake. No thanks.
Rycehat:
Very John Linnell. I like John Linnell, but his vocal style is so distinct that the similarity is a little off-putting. But no matter, the song is very well-executed. I start to loose a little interest somewhere in the middle -- you do a great job of building and evolving the melody up to about the 2:00 point, and then things seem to get a little stuck in a plateau. Maybe have things drop back to a sparser instrumentation in the middle? Other than somehow punching up the interest after the initial launch sequence, I have little advice to offer. Well, honestly, that Kirstie Alley line grates as a little too over-the-top and cutesy, but otherwise this is pretty solid.
The Bros. Durand:
Man, that pedal steel is awesome. And this song is utterly charming. Steve, I think I've mentioned before that your vocal delivery is a little on the stilted side -- which is to say it sounds a little precise and stiff for this laid-back island romp. I think part of the problem may be that you have a lot of words in there to hit in not very much time. I'm honestly not sure. Maybe some fruity umbrella drinks prior to the recording session? I also would have loved to hear some S. Durand horns added to this piece, (but really, what song wouldn't benefit from such an addition?) This is all-around pretty neat.
Weakest Suit:
That opening promises epic things! Love that beginning. The chorus doesn't quite live up to the build of the verses, but it's certainly not bad. I'm having trouble parsing the lyrics -- I'm not following them. ("Arm-a-dale?") Pretty solid entry.
William Parson's Project:
I will confess some serious genre-bias here. Generally, I would advise the song is too loose and shaggy to chase after some of the more proggy stuff that you've attempted here. Those dramatic changes sound really sloppy. I would have liked this effort better as a loose and standard blues -- although maybe I would like it better as-is with a tighter performance. Hard to say. This is another entry with a lot of words in it. Words are cool, I love words -- but flow is often easier with less of them. I'm frequently guilty of overstuffing my verses myself so I can empathize with your desire to cram all that verbiage in there, but I suggest going after your lyrics with some serious pruning sheers to cut them down to more manageable mouthfuls.
Yelyah:
This ain't half bad, and I'm always delighted to hear women on SF, so hooray for that! This song is pretty good, but it's hard for me to appreciate it fully in its current casiocore incarnation -- that chord loop is just so plodding and robotic, and this song begs for a more organic treatment. Maybe just a simple piano accompaniment. Nothing fancy or ornate -- but soulful. Your voice is very pretty, but you are loosing your pitch a little bit on some of the extremes. It sounds to me like the faltering may be because you are nervous about hitting those notes, and you're holding back. Don't be shy! Sing hard! With a different arrangement and a little refinement you might really have something here.
Berkeley Social Scene:
Another fantastic opening! Very PNW indie rock. That riff is my favorite part of the tune. The other parts of the song are much more jam-band-y... which unfortunately pushes me into genre-bias territory. It's all well-executed if a little loose at points -- you guys know your sh!t and it shows. Man, but that noodley little riff that immediately follows the opening section is just not my thing. (Aren't fascist aesthetics a terrible thing?) I also feel like the vocals never quite gel with the instrumentation, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would maybe take out the verse harmonies to simplify. (I am a harmony junkie.) I like a lot of parts of this, but for some reason the whole is not winning me over.
GORTTEC:
(I gather that that is Caravan Ray on vocal duty, but who are the rest of you?) Ha ha ha! As usual, Ray has some outrageous and witty lyrics, which are really the star of this show. "Gotta suit of human skin, that I look fantastic in, when you see it, well you're gonna love me too!" This belongs in Silence! (The Musical.)
http://www.jonandal.com/silence.html
The music is somewhat less remarkable, but certainly not shabby as an exercise in psychedelic surf. I get more excited about it all when the surftastic "ooooooos" and vocal layering come in. Make of that what you will.
Hostess:
As always, a solid entry. And nice maiden voyage on drum duty! For some reason, this strikes me as a mashup of Harry Nilsson and Pink Floyd... or maybe The Who... which is a little bit odd as mashups go...but it seems to work for you. I would like to see it rendered in an epic arena rock style. With a laser light show. Which is to say, I suppose this is a smidgen on the cheesy side... but, you know what? I like big cheesy rock. Pushing this song to the limit of the "fromage grand" genre would really sell it, I think. (I am being completely sincere.)
Jeplexe:
This is the bros. K and I. The exclamation point is an accident. We kinda ran out of time, and as a result, this song ended up being a lot more of me and a lot less of the bros K, which is less than ideal. Also, I notice that we have some rather shocking pitch problems. Whew. Finally, I wanted the "Front and Center" section to be much bigger and meatier, but this was what I had at the 11th hour, so mote it be.
Jonathan Mann:
Very nice. Drop those verse vocals into the mix a little bit. I understand the effect you're shooting for, but the vocals are so lonely way up there. I like your atmospheric production otherwise a great deal. And I really like those "oooooo" choruses. That is a seriously hooky little riff. The verses aren't grabbing me quite as much, but you definitely have something in that chorus. Pizzicato strings on the verses sure would be nice. Everything is just so minimal in those parts... I feel like I need something else to hold onto.
Lord of Oats:
I love love LOVE those keyboard/synthy loops you've written. Those are really spectacular. I kind of want to steal them. And Your vocal tone is very Ian Curtis. I think the problem is that your vocal parts get incredibly monotonous. (On the other hand, you may have noticed that Ian Curtis didn't exactly have a wild range either.) I think my recommendation for this song would be to shorten it and take out 40% of the vocals. Let there be more space between words -- like so:
Words ------------Words--------------Words
WordsWordswordswordswords
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Words----------Words---------------Words
WordsWordswordswordswords
(that's a very sketchy / abstract attempt at representing what I'm trying to convey)
But really, the bones in this song are so good. You could have a real dance hit with a little work.
PTP:
Hmmmm. This is another case of "not my thing," and as a result I'm not really sure how to give you useful feedback on this one. This strikes my palate as schmaltzy in the not-good way. Your start / stoppy thing that you have going on doesn't work for me. It sounds awkward and stumble-y. I'd rather hear this without the halting bits. (No pause after "she sat next to me" for example.)
Like many others in this fight, you probably have a few too many words crammed in your song. Thin them buggers out, and everything will likely flow a little more easily! For example:
"On a short hop to Nashville, she sat next to me"
vs.
"A short hop to Nasville -- she sat next to me"
Try it! I've only trimmed one little tiny indefinite article from your lyric, but it's so much easier to say in the structure you've got here. (And I don't think the loss of the "a" compromises the clarity.)
The lyrics overall are a little too "Freedom isn't free" for my tastes, but that's because I'm a stinkin' pinko, and I certainly can't hold that against you.
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Cheers everyone!
Edit: And thanks for the voe, B-dawg!
Edit edit: VOTE that is.
--M