Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

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Ross
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Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by Ross »

Alright already... Let's have some songs and titles :-)
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by king_arthur »

The "fight discussion" link on the songs page points to the Jewel of India reviews, not to these reviews...

FIXED - spud
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by king_arthur »

First impressions, mostly, here's how the geezer vote is swinging:

Chad Fowler

Reminds me of Bowie as soon as the vocal starts... wish the whole
thing were a little more in tune with itself... hmm, cuts off
pretty abruptly there at the end, and it seemed like there was
a bit of e-buzz at the start... I like to take my final mixes,
bring 'em up in an audio editor, trim the start and end and do
a short fade on the end, and then add 1.5 seconds of silence at
each end of the file. That silence at the start of the file helps make
sure that players that are set to do a fade-in don't mess with
your song :-)

David Ritter

Like the sound of the guitar, tho' it seemed like it started
up very abruptly... would suggest varying up the chord pattern
a little bit, the verse pattern and chorus pattern are basically
the same, just changing it up for one phrase here and there
would be an improvement, I think. Like the overall sound of
this very much, instruments sound good together. On the chorus,
might try phrasing "wishes he would / have told her" so that
there's not a break after "would" - try ending the phrase on
"wishes" and then keep "he would have told her" together.
Keeper and vote.

Flvxxvm Florvm

Well put together, that lead guitar reminds me of old
Jefferson Airplane (that's good). Melody / chord pattern
could've been a bit more creative. As a fan of feminine
underendowment, I'll call this a keeper and vote, but it
probably wouldn't be were my tastes more normal...

Jeremy Dean

This seems kind of strangely put together, the major 7th
chords don't quite fit the story line. The whole thing
seems kind of emotionally uninvolved... MIDI drums? I
can't usually tell the difference and often prefer drum
machines, but in this case that may be part of what's
making the song less emotional than I'd like it to be...
also, the way the verse bits talk about "he" and then
the chorus switches to "you" isn't working for me

Lonbobby

The voice gets my attention as soon as it comes in, and
I find myself listening to find out where the story is
going. "begging that you undress" might be stronger as
"begging you to undress." I'm getting tired of pitch
correction (seen too many episodes of "Glee")... nonetheless,
the whole song works together well and this is a keeper
and vote for me.

MENBAH!

The distant micing sound is putting me off a little and
some of the percussion stuff after 2:00 seems like it's
lost track of the beat... the story in the lyrics is well
put together... tho' I'm not sure whether "Nathan" is the
absent boyfriend (doesn't exactly fit with the "Nathan
will take all that she gives and more" line) or the unborn
baby... well, were I more pro-life and less into skinny
girls, you might've gotten the vote I gave to Flvxxvm
Florvm...

Seamus

Hmm, that solo guitar line on the first bit seems like it
gets lost when it goes off the I chord... ya know, on first
listen, I'm thinking that if you'd started with that "spider
and the fly" verse, you'd have had me, clinging on every
word to hear where the story goes, but by starting with
"Dana wears dresses" you kinda lost my interest... not liking
that lead guitar, not in tune with the rhythm guitar. Hmm,
that last verse about the doctor seemed like it was dodging
around what it was trying to say, maybe we were supposed to
get what Dana's "condition" was from what went before, but
I missed it on first listen. Hmm, I get to the end and it
just didn't seem like it worked on me.


Todd McHatton

Hmm, is the roaring 20's chord pattern going to work with
distorto-boost guitars? Not a big fan of that "go go go go"
pre-chorus bit. Hmm, seems like the story line here is
that this girl is a rebel because she wears dresses and
"always wants to look her best," and I'm not quite sold on
that. Maybe if you'd set up the story by telling how all
the kids at her school are into jeans and flannel, then
you could sell us Dana as a rebel because she wears dresses,
but it didn't seem like you ever set up what she's rebelling
against.


If I could only vote for one, it'd be David Ritter... by
far my most fave of the fight.
"...one does not write in dactylic hexameter purely by accident..." - poetic designs
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by MENBAH! »

Pro-life wha? The whole song's about how she shouldn't be having a baby!
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by king_arthur »

Hmm... well, what I was hearing was how friends were telling her she shouldn't be having a baby, but she was going to anyway, because she wanted to be a mom. So maybe that's not quite pro-life, but that's how it felt. Sorry if I should have listened closer or checked the lyrics archive; as I said, these were first listen comments and that was my impression of what was going on.

Charles
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by Stubby Phillips »

It's been a while, but here goes...

Chad Fowler: I like the uptempo... uh, tempo, and the guitar riff thingy is a nice touch. Pretty standard structure. which is mostly how I used to do these songs when I didn't have a flash of inordinate inspiration. Everything sounds good except the cut-off ending. Lyrics didn't stick with me, unfortunately.

David Ritter: The verse is a little to much the same throughout, IMO. The refrain brakes it up a bit, and the backup "oohs" are a nice touch. These lyrics are a little more engaging, or I just bothered to listen this time. The fadeout seems ill-timed in relation to the vox.

Flvxxvm Florvm: Now that's more like it! My eternal anti-country music bias was overcome by the energy exhibited in this song. Sorry -- I meant "southern rock". I like the "shaped like a lemon instead of an hourglass" line. The lyric is clever throughout. Good stuff -- including the "live-like" feel of the vocal interjections, and everything, for that matter. I guess a lot of people record live, and I envy you -- since I (used to) play (almost) everything myself.

Jeremy Dean: Nice noise at the start. Like the auto wah (envelope filter) guitar. And chord structure, although familiar. The spoken part seems a stretch, until I hear it all -- a little long, but a good story. I don't know -- it has the bones of something good, but it needs music after the spoken part, if just an outro/refrain.

Lonbobby: Dress like an igloo? Yeah! Dated? Yeah. I can't talk. Still, a little too 80s-90s video game sounding.

MENBAH!: When the tambourine comes in the vox moves away. Good lyric and delivery. Sound a little too live -- like you used only one mic.

Seamus: Excellent lyrics. "Pop." Minimality is distracting at first, but ultimately works a trick. It sounds like it should be a theme song for a new TV drama/comedy. Not bad -- and different. That's a good thing.

Todd McChatton: "Tommy" vibe, which is good. To me. I guess. I don't know. It's very... short. And homogeneous.

All (most) of these songs are well recorded and produced. That would have been an anomaly back in the day when I last submitted (almost 3 years) -- but, even so -- they were somewhat unremarkable in their content, it seems. Except Lonbobby, Seamus, and Flvxxvm Florvm. Still, being unremarkable in this arena isn't remarkable. Is this consistency the norm nowadays, or is it perhaps due to the lower number of participants? I wonder. Flvxxum gets a vote; maybe someone else. I haven't even voted since the voting was expanded.
Last edited by Stubby Phillips on Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:52 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by MENBAH! »

king_arthur wrote:Sorry if I should have listened closer or checked the lyrics archive; as I said, these were first listen comments and that was my impression of what was going on.
Heh, no problem. I'll be interested to see if anyone else gets that vibe. I thought that if anything it might be overly harsh: "What the hell was she thinking, if thinking at all? She knows nothing, knows nothing, what chance to they have to get by?"
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by jeff robertson »

Stubby Phillips wrote: Flvxxvm Florvm: [..generally favorable review, thank you..] I guess a lot of people record live, and I envy you -- since I (used to) play (almost) everything myself.
If it matters, this is a one-man-band song.
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by Stubby Phillips »

jeff robertson wrote:If it matters, this is a one-man-band song.
Even better.
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by jeremydeanband »

first off i wanna say that i love the pic for this weeks fight!

chad fowler
i love the bass line and begining guitar solo, it jumps out at me, got an elo feel. not crazy about the vocal but you can tell that you put alot of effort into this song and it came out good. for some reason it seems to cut off short at the end? vote

lonbobby
i like it, good song, sounds like alot of production went into it. words didnt catch me and a little long but i like it. vote

todd mchatton
so far first inpression is that this song fits the title the best, holy crap the songs are good this week. tapping my feet, bobin my head. this song kicks ass, just the right length to. vote!

jeremy dean
this song was written and recorded in a day, i can tell so far that i didnt spend enough time on it cause alot of the songs this week are awsome. i didnt even think i would write one for the title this week, all of asudden i found myself in front of the computer puting it together. i wanted to put together something totaly off the wall compared to what i would normally write and i think i accomplished just that. yes the drumms are off a machine. i would have liked james earl jones to talk at the end but i only had me. :0)
the heart beat at the end i like the best along with the chorus. vote

flvxxvm florvm
love the words, found myself laughing. i like the middle to. it sounds like you had a lot of fun making the song.

david ritter
taping my foot, like the chorus but not sure about the verse. i can tell its sort of a story but some of the words i cant pick out.

seamus
guitar has a doors feel, would like to hear drumms, well sung, its a little long, but i would defenetly listen to it more than a couple of times.im on the fence about giving this one a vote, but i will, vote!

menbah
song didnt catch me but i like the story line. i think if the song was structured different it mite strike me better. precusion seems a little messy to me.

loved the title this week!
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by Spintown »

http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2010/06/ ... esses.html

1. Flvxxvm Florvm - Ah, this can serve as an anthem for everyone who doesn't like big butts. Funny, fun & right up my alley. (voted)

2. Todd McHatton - You ass, I think this song gave me a speech impediment. I can't decide if it's annoying or catchy, but since I keep listening to the damn thing, I'll go with catchy. I should be used to your entries having a never ending loop, but those definately still annoy me. I seem to be pretty harsh with you considering I liked your entry? Maybe it's because I've lost the ability to say anything with multiple syllables out loud. (voted)

Seamus - It's not bad, but the slow pace an lack of much music had me struggling to stay interested. I did enjoy your performance, but this isn't in my wheelhouse as a listener.

Jeremy Dean - Well the direction you went didn't really interest me much, but the music was keeping me into the song. When you started the poetry reading the only thing keeping me interested went away.

PS: It would help if more people took advantage of the lyrics forum....just saying...
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by EmbersOfAutumn »

Just logged on to SongFight for the first time in a really long while and noticed just 8 entries. What has happened around here over the last year or so?
"Out of all I've learned in Life,
You always keep your friends close to your heart,
cause they'll help you if you're falling down..."
- The Ataris - Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, B, A, Start
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by AJOwens »

EmbersOfAutumn wrote:Just logged on to SongFight for the first time in a really long while and noticed just 8 entries. What has happened around here over the last year or so?
I think it's a temporary lull. This "Nur Ein" thing is going on. Also, I'm not sure this title grabbed a lot of people. We had a similar title a few months ago, "Your New Dress." On top of that, in my part of the world, summer has arrived at last, and the weather's too nice to spend your spare time in the studio.

Anyway, counts have been up and down. One fight in March had 26 entries.

Awaiting a new title, I remain. . . irritatingly impatient. Sorry, Spud.
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by jeff robertson »

Spintown wrote: 1. Flvxxvm Florvm - Ah, this can serve as an anthem for everyone who doesn't like big butts. Funny, fun & right up my alley. (voted)
The thing is, I do like big butts. All kinds of butts, really. But I noticed a scarcity of songs specifically about skinny girls.
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by EmbersOfAutumn »

AJOwens wrote:
EmbersOfAutumn wrote:Just logged on to SongFight for the first time in a really long while and noticed just 8 entries. What has happened around here over the last year or so?
I think it's a temporary lull. This "Nur Ein" thing is going on. Also, I'm not sure this title grabbed a lot of people. We had a similar title a few months ago, "Your New Dress." On top of that, in my part of the world, summer has arrived at last, and the weather's too nice to spend your spare time in the studio.

Anyway, counts have been up and down. One fight in March had 26 entries.

Awaiting a new title, I remain. . . irritatingly impatient. Sorry, Spud.
Guess I need to enter one of these things again...
"Out of all I've learned in Life,
You always keep your friends close to your heart,
cause they'll help you if you're falling down..."
- The Ataris - Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, B, A, Start
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by Spintown »

http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2010/06/ ... ement.html

Sammy sent me another review today. I just posted it on my blog about 15 minutes ago.

NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT:
An Unfair and One-Sided Review
by Sammy Kablam

Fight: Dana Wears Dresses

Back from another unexpected hiatus, Negative Reinforcement returns full force! And, luckily, with a short list of competitors to complain about! So, without further adieu, let's find out why Dana Wears Dresses!

MENBAH!

A studio version of this might be more interesting. But even then, I dunno. It's just kinda...boring. I get the feeling this is supposed to be deep and meaningful, but I don't really think it gets there. I It's nothing hideous or unbearable, but once I stop reviewing it, I'll never hear it again. And chances are, I'll forget about it by Monday.

Jeremy Dean

I cannot think of any song I've ever heard that sounded quite so uninterested in itself. Your vocals aren't necessarily bad, but they really don't go with the music or the message at all. You sound like your just going thru the motions, in a song that supposed to have an empowering message. And I realize the second half is supposed to be intense and "hardcore" if you will, but it really isn't. The lyrics are notably weak and the song never kicks back in, so it feels like a real disconnect. And again, I realize it never goes back because it's "art" and the song "dies" with the main character. But it just feels like two completely different ideas slapped together. It's almost like the song was so bored with itself that the vocalist gave up on singing and just read the lyrics to get them over with, and the music got so bored it left to find something better to do. Bottom line, I'm not sold on anything about this song. It's dull and it's a weird ass topic. There are a lot of things to consider improving next time, but maybe songs about unjustified murder of transvestites just isn't the niche to carve.

Flxxvm Florvm

The very first line made me smile. In fact, this song made me laugh -- in a good way. It's arguably generic in music, but so what? It's upbeat, it's fun, and it's funny. I can't say I could make out all the words the first time thru, but this is one song I would happily listened to more than once. Just turn up the vocals a little, and I don't think there's anything I can complain about. In fact, this is one of those songs that proves you can be entirely stupid and fantastic at the same time: it's not trying to be deep or emotional or anything beyond what it is -- and what it is, is entertaining. Not sure if I've ever complimented you guys before or not, so mark this down: great job.

Todd Mchatton

Weird. This is probably one of most complex songs I've heard in my Song Fight experience. This is, most certainly, the kind of thing that wins competitions -- or at least deserves to do so. Honestly, not sure I can make fun of anything here. Truly haven't been this impressed in a long time.

Seamus

That's a lot of D's. I was going to make a comment about the repetitive nature of your music, but the more I think about it, it works. And it works really well. As does the simplicity; the song would sound great with the right additional instruments, but with just the vocals and simple guitar, it still sets a solid tone and is, dare I say, captivating.

Chad Fowler

Wow. I was all set to say you had an interesting "Hotel California" style sound going on, but then the vocals kicked in. And they're really stupid. Not the lyrics, just whatever effects are slathered all over them. Actually, from what I can tell, your lyrics are kinda dumb, too. But, they sound like you're being electrocuted underwater, so I can only hear so much. It's really a shame, too, because you might be a Secret Genius. And what the hell is with that ending? I'm going to politely assume it was an editing error, because otherwise...well, otherwise, I have no idea what you were thinking.

David Ritter

I have to strain to hear you. You're mostly audible, but some of what you say is getting drowned out. But a lot of your lyrics are less than stellar. (I swear, at one point in the first verse you say "He fell in the donut and he saw the smile".) Your lyrical rhythm could use a little work, too. The music for your hook is the most impressive part. But nothing really stands out or begs for attention.

Lonbobby

I absolutely love Lonbobby's style. This is not my favorite Lonbobby song, though. I dunno, nothing about it popped at me. There's nothing specifically wrong with it, just wasn't my big winner this time around.

Well, that's all for Dana and her Dresses. It was fun (mostly) to be back in the saddle, and I was rather impressed with the quality of work: It was like the competitors all knew what they were doing, or something. WILD!

Until next time,
S. Kablam
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by chadfowler »

I enjoyed this week's submissions. I have been listening to songfight for years. I've only submitted one other time before DWD but I tend to read the reviews and listen/vote quite often. This is my first time to actually post my own reviews:

Jeremy Dean
I'm sure you're not expecting to hear this but in a way it reminds me of early Faith No More. Even with the Cream-like intro. :) I think this could benefit from mixing the vocals slightly lower and maybe making the whole thing feel a little "deeper" texturally. I'm afraid you lost me with the spoken word part. Probably not your fault. I also don't like bass solos. Might just be a personal prejudice.

Todd McHatton
I like this one a lot. Really catchy. Nice use of backing vocals. The lyrics flow together well. Nice chords on the beginning of the verse. I like the whole thing but the chorus is much less interesting than the other parts.

MENBAH
This is one of the most low-production ones this week and also one of my favorites. A nicely written song with good lyrics. I like the almost-breaking vocals. Feels very genuine. I wonder if you made a "better" recording of this song if it would actually ruin it :)

David Ritter
I think I stumbled on this before you submitted it. I like it and it's catchy but it quickly gets stressfully repetitive. Just when I think I'm going to get relief, the chorus is a textural variation on the same melody from the verse. With some more variety this could be a really nice one.

Lonbobby
I love the vocoder or whatever that effect is. I generally like glitchy music. I like the harmonic content. The melody is kinda robotic, but I think that's the point. This one is the most interesting this week for me. You create a neat mood. It reminds me of the first time I watched the movie Electric Dreams as a kid in the 80s. And I like the feeling that it keeps shifting between minor and major/happy and sad.

Chad Fowler
That's me. I enjoyed this one. It is a little bit like two weirdly disjoint songs. The messed up ending was a technical glitch I didn't have time to figure out with Logic. I was thinking David Bowie but the songs I write seldom resemble the artist I'm thinking of when I write them. I think everyone else did better than me this week but I'm still pleased with what I came up with.

Seamus
I love that you start with just voice and sparse electric guitar. Nice catchy melody and cool lyrics that flow well. I was hoping/expecting that you would have started with the sparse guitar and then a full band would have kicked in for some contrast. I think that would have made it a lot more interesting. Your singing reminds me of They Might Be Giants (which I like).

Flvxxvm Florvm
Not my genre but it's a funny decent version of this kind of music. Kinda rhythmically problematic in spots. Generally a bit of a mess but in a punk-rock rockabilly we-don't-care kind of way. Might not have been intentional but that was my take :)
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Re: Remember Danny, from high school? He's changed(dana reviews)

Post by jeremydeanband »

I'm sure you're not expecting to hear this but in a way it reminds me of early Faith No More.

i love faith no more, thanks for the compliment!
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