Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Lucky Spoon
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Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Lucky Spoon »

Will be brisk until my blanket blooms...
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canonicalman
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by canonicalman »

Balence lost
Lots of happy indy sounds all knitted together. Nice pop sensibilities for an underground band. Not what I was expecting in the contest. It tickled my fancy.

Canonical Man
This was me. The balence was off due to me not having sound editing software for this contest. (Will fix this though) I was basically using 16 track for all my editing which was just painful. Pretty happy with how it came out given that I only had two days, a few hours and no software. (Way too little time given how much work others put into their entries. Well played all!) I had to enter once I thought of the soccer hooligan rant given the timely nature with the World cup going on right now. I only had 10 PM-2 AM available to work on it starting Thursday. I had to give up sleep but it was worth it. I had a ball making the song definately the most fun I have had composing in a while. Props to my friends who helped given a few hours notice. They are mentioned on my myspace page.

Chad Fowler
Really liked the into. The first minute was supurb. The spacious bass groove with the hip-hop vocals stopped me dead. Then I did a doubletake at the name. This isn't the sound I associate with your entries. I thought it was a rap group from the intro section, I didn't realize it was you until a minute in. That always gets my attention. I liked seeing you branching out. A lot of fun.

Chekhov Raygun
Intro brain zombie-moaning part seemed a little long. It was weaker than the rap and long enough to possibly turn some people off. Lyrics felt very Frontalot (great praise from me) BUT the lyrics were not all supporting the narrative. To many lines said something just to rhyme rather than taking us to the next level. Please don't pan the vocals so hard right it made it hard to hear your lyric clearly and your lyrics are a key component of the song. Best so far but lyrics felt weak in the main chorus "It's good to be a 'dad'?" What the hell? The whole chorus breaks from the narrative and you were so stong until then. Still one of my favorites though..

TheDinner TimeBoys
A little heavy on midi synth sounds for my taste. But still managed to be quite cute. Felt like a song from a kids television show. Reminds me of my friends band Twink.

Adam
Your collaorations are always tight and well mixed. Definately one of my favorite. Your production is stellar. The music track is tight and well balenced and the lyrics drive teh point home. Strongest contender so far. One vocaist is weaker than th other two. I don't see why you had dirt in the lyrics so much. Saying 'dirty dirt nap' seemed a bit weak compared to the rest of the lyrics. I liked how you worked contemperary news worked into the lyrics though doing so you changed the thread of the narrative.

Ford's Theater Disaster
Low fi rock isn't my thing. But that said the band's sound was well done. Panning the one gutar riff hard right was nice. It really draw me into the band. Vocals are rough for my tastes. The refrain at the end seem a bit too much. Think it would have been stronger if you left off the section after the break.

Helen
Pretty voice. The bass and distorted guitar parts helped keep it from sounding like another singer soundwriter. I think the distorted part was a bit low in the mix.

Hoist
Cheery guitar sound is nice contrast to the lyrics. The mix of the cheerful with the haunted sound of the vocal melodies. Strong voice and you harmonize nicely with yourself. My main quibble is that you need to watch for mike pops. (Mike screen and compressor will help here) The shaker was a good idea it added just enough percusion to help the song move.

Lucky Spoon
Woah, Hold the press. I love the drawn out intro. It gave me goosebumps. The vocals could stand to be compressed a bit before effects and brought to the fore. But the band sound is just incredible. Trippy, half baked in a fever dream watching life go by. The music alone moves you into first place in my list of personal favorites here. How the hell did you get enough time to do a 5 minute song? You kept the sound focused the full way and the length was perfect with the drawn out feeling of the music. Loved it.

Nancy Rost
Accordian chords and voice is an odd choice to say the least. The vocals come across muddled rather than harmonic. Given the strength of the other entries this doesn't stand up well.

Pig Farmer Jr
I heard a number of minor guitar flubs really stand out competing against so many amazing band entries. (It is hard to compete as a singer soundwriter when the band entries had so much work put into them. Ignoring that and just listenign to your song it wasn't bad. The minor guitar errors probably lost my vote but the second guitar part really did a LOT to help the song. I woudl just have liked to have heard a bit more polish on the guitar sound. Cleaner playing on the guitar and maybe using a mike with some compression instead of a built in pickup would help. Listen to Ross Durand's entry to see what a bit of compresssion does to really bring a guitar sound up in the mix.

Ross Durand
I have liked a number of your singer songwriting entries. The guitar sound is very rell presented. Woudl love to know if it was just compression or if you also used a sonic enhancer. The organ part was a nice touch and I think that helped cinch you my vote.

Wages
As I said to Pig Farmer Jr it is hard to compete as a singer songwriter when ther are so many STRONG band entries. I felt your song well meaning you conveyed emotion well but the guitars's fret buzz was very prominent and completely distracted me as a guitarist. Either you have poor technique or a crappy guitar. You wrote a good song but the guitar sound betrayed you in the end. I would get your guitar checked out. Better action would really clean up your sound and a bit less buzz and rattle would have probably gotten you my vote.

Wow there were a LOT of really good entries. I think my song wound up being one of my less favorite and I would have never entered it if I didn't love it. (It needs a lot more mastering before it stands up to some of the other entries here though.

My favorites in order :
1. Lucky Spoon
2. Adam/AFarOffLand (featuring Wise)
3. Chad Fowler
4. myself
5. Chekhov's Raygun
6. Balence lost
7. Ross Durand
8th is a tie between : Ford's Theater Disaster, Hiost, TheDinner TimeBoys
Honorable mention: Pig Farmer Jr, Helen, and Wages.

I am voting for everyone in my top 8 and I have never felt compelled to vote for so many before. A great showing by all! I really enjoyed the entires!
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by chadfowler »

Balance Lost
Wow. Starts off like a Steve Reich composition. Kind of reminds me of Fred Frith. Or a non-bluesy Captain Beefheart. I love the quirkiness. And the (possibly intentional) messiness. Could have been shorter without losing anything.

Nancy Rost
Is that a harmonium? Or an accordion? Melodica? Interesting sparse instrumentation. Ends up sounding like a weird nightmare. I think if the vocals were more in tune I would have liked it more. Nice concept but it doesn't do anything for me ultimately.

Pigfarmer Jr.
This sounds like something from that Guns and Roses acoustic EP that came out after Appetite for Destruction. Except less produced and not as well performed. The melody sounds a little forced on the verses, like you are singing along with a guitar riff that isn't being played. I think with some more work this one could be good. It is successful in evoking a sad, hopeless sound. :)

Holst
Nice, very traditionally structured simple song. Sounds like The Smiths in a way. Not my favorite genre but you do a pretty good job of it. All these songs are depressing this week!

Chad Fowler
That's me. I started out on this song thinking it would completely suck. I ended up very happy with how it came out. I think it could use more variation but this is what I came up with in 2 days. I hope to some day write/play with other people. For now I do what I can myopically.

Canonical Man
Funny. Have you ever heard Kompressor? It's not quite as campy as Kompressor but it's borderline self-satire. I like it. Not much to it, but the end result is fun and different. This is one I'll listen to more than once.

Wages
Kind of meandering. Sounds like something a singer from an 80s metal band would do with an acoustic guitar. Specifically reminds me of Glenn Danzig. But it could use a hook or something to bring out the song's structure. As it is, it sounds sort of directionless.

Lucky Spoon
Another one that evokes a really depressing mood. Not a bad song. The recording/performance is kind of lifeless. I'm not sure how I would pep it up but it needs more intensity. A new recording and performance might turn this one into a winner. I appreciated the louder more uptempo interlude toward the end to give it some contrast. It reminds me of a band from Memphis I used to listen to called The Grifters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grifters_(band))

Chekhov's Raygun
Typical nerdcore. I am a hip hop fan. The rhythm of your rapping with the constant access on beats 2 and 4 comes off sounding like a rap song Michael Scott from The Office might create. Also lacks a hook to hang one's hat on. It's surprisingly hard to stay on the beat when rapping fast like that isn't it?

Ross Durand
Really nice Dylan- or Eagles-esque song. I wouldn't be surprised to hear this one on the radio. Impressive!

Helen
It was indeed a love song wasn't it. The singing is kind of weak. The melody didn't really catch me. Nice job though.

Fords Theater Disaster
I really like that opening guitar sound. In general it's a good rock song/performance. The vocals sound strained in a bad way when you say "Why don't you". I think you did that for effect but I don't think it worked. In general whenever you sing the higher notes in this song it sounds constrained. Like when someone sings with a cold. Nice idea with the breakdown. The chorus melody didn't really work for me, which made it feel like it went on too long when you continuously repeated it. I would look for 30 seconds or so to cut off of this song or introduce some variety. As it stands it feels too drawn out for the musical content it contents.

The Dinnertime Boys
I love the bendy intonation and the 80s casio keyboard sounds. This tune could have been boring without the weird intonation. Of course, being an instrumental in which you simply say "dirt nap" once is a little cheap, but I still like it :)

A Far Off Land ft. Wise
Decent rap song. It could use a remix. Parts of the background are too loud and actually serve to throw off the rhythm. I would like to have heard the vocals better all the way through. The rapping is good. Nice voice. The backing tracks would use more variety to give the song a better sense of structure. It's also a shame that the backing music isn't as funky as the rapping is sometimes. A more driving beat in parts would be good. I like this one. Nicely done.


Nice stuff this week all!
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by HolstBen »

canonicalman wrote:Cheery guitar sound is nice contrast to the lyrics. The mix of the cheerful with the haunted sound of the vocal melodies. Strong voice and you harmonize nicely with yourself. My main quibble is that you need to watch for mike pops. (Mike screen and compressor will help here) The shaker was a good idea it added just enough percusion to help the song move.
Thank you :) I was looking into pop shields before, apparently you can make them for pretty cheap - my previous solution to this was to sing under the mic, but it proves to be too thin-sounding in the recording. I'll get it sorted.
chadfowler wrote:Nice, very traditionally structured simple song. Sounds like The Smiths in a way. Not my favorite genre but you do a pretty good job of it. All these songs are depressing this week!


Hahahaha, you couldn't have come up with a more appropriate artist to compare to... I have a song that expresses my disdain for The Smiths, interestingly. How far can "Dirt Nap" be pushed into a happy template, though? Damn right they're depressing!
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Lucky Spoon »

Balance Lost - intro guitar got a bit grinding. liked the break down at 1:30.. coming out of this part was a cool moment too. Another cool part at 3:08. I think this song really hits its stride at the breakdown and continues strong from there after a shaky start.

Canonical Man - This song reminded me that i needed to go watch the world cup. Now i'm back after the shocking Italy tie to NZL. The accent rappish into shows promise. The rest of the song doesn't have much to it. Nice job for your first entry! It's all up from here :) A fair warning: cool rap songs will get my vote, but won't win song fights :)

Chad Fowler - Oh man... When this started I thought it was going to be by far my favorite of the week... and it still might be. It feels like a rap/R&B song... with all the rap parts taken out and the rest of the song scrunched together. I'm just waiting for someone to bust out a sweet verse and then the song ends. Nice mixing/production, catchy, still a good song start to finish even if it didn't do what i wanted it to do.

Chekhov's Raygun - aaaaaaaand this is why rap songs don't win song fight. the backing track is pretty good though, maybe you can sell some of those beats.

TheDinnerTimeBoys - I like the first 10 seconds of the song. It starts out nice and smooth with some good jazzy chords. Then the intro gets a little long/random. Then it turns out the "intro" is the whole song.

Adam - AFarOffLandft.Wise - This one is pretty catchy. Nice bass, nice beat. good production, nice rapping. The chorus/hook is the weak part in this song... It needs to be a big bigger/fuller/different than the verse so when it drops back into the verse it leaves the listener enthused about the verse and excited for the next chorus. "hyping" them up if you will.

Ford's Theater Disaster - boosting your bass' low end, much? As a bass player I can't blame you. Too much for a rock song, though. (all though most speakers probably won't catch that the low end is boosted). A nice rock song. Vocals fairly pitchy at the chorus... hmm a bit pichy on the verses too. Instead of a full fake ending it would have been cooler if the bass/drums would have played through the break emphasizing the breakdown of the song.

helen - Some good ideas here. A good first entry. The electric guitar is too low in the mix to add anything to the song. It sounds like you've got better takes in you for the vocals, your voice shows more potential than what is recorded. Related: harmonies are cool, but not tight. Might try double tracking some vocals/harmonies. It also sounds like you're singing a bit back in the throat. The pickiness aside, I like this song... has character... looking forward to more good entries from you as your improve your recording/producing techniques.

Holst - I'm so bad at listening to and reviewing songs... your song bored me at first but I let it play as I surfed the web and it started growing on me. Vocals are pretty hot and could uses some compression or a better mic to take that "hiss" out. Feels a bit low in your range. I like the backing vocals on the chorus. this sounds like a good G&G that can turn into a full band song. OH MY GOSH! I'm so glad that I read the lyrics... i seriously thought you were saying "take a dirt nap with my johnson" which kinda put me off. ok... good song then :)

Lucky Spoon - Pat on the back for finding the time to do this song starting on monday and working a 55+ hour week due to deadlines at work. As a song it speaks for itself and I'm happy with it. I've come a long ways since my first fight song I wrote/produced on my own. I think I've reached some what of a plateau production-wise. I need to start learning the next level of tricks/techniques to make the mix sound a bit cleaner/crisper. I am open to suggestions. It's definitely not in the spirit of this song... but I have a one take G&G version of this song that i recorded on my iphone after the fact. Perhaps I'll upload it...

Nancy Rost - how did you record your accordion? sounds very clippy. Vocals come in off key from the accordion... not a good start. mmm chorus harmonies out of tune... mmmmm. you win the award for the most unique instrument used.


pigfarmerjr - this song starts with a "ye haw gather the posse" vibe... not a bad thing... more like the vibe (*vibe*) from Beck's Farewell Ride. Acoustic guitar is tinny... too much high end on the EQ, too hot in the mix. Vocals sound timid and thin. lead guitar at the end of chorus but is too far down in the mix. Favorite part of the song is the BUMMM, BUMMM "I don't need you anymore".

rossdurand - hey ross! glad you made it in. Eh, Your song is growing on me... I can hear a lot of stuff you probably wanted to add in there, but I can tell it was a bit rushed. If (*if*) I went to a country-ish bar and had had a few drinks I would raise a beer to this song and put an arm around the cowboy-hat wearin dogie standing next to me and sway. Of course i know you won't lose any sleep if i'm unsure about your song since you know by now it's personal preference (still really like you KAYP, though). Always very respectable what your experience brings to the table.

Wages - Vocals are good. The gritty feel works here. The guitar is the weak point (which is unfortunate is because it's G&G). A lot of time it feels like you're thinking before hitting the chords/not really getting there. Rhythm is a bit shakey too. If you can't get a better take on acoustic there's always doubling up the guitar or adding some other track in general. This song does show a lot of promise for your future in vocals, though.

Whew.. finished just in time to watch Brazil. Don't forget to wish your dad a happy Father's Day

As it stands:

Vote-worthy: Chad Fowler, AdamA, Lucky Spoon
High On the Cusp: Balance Lost, Holst, Ross Durand
On the Cusp: Canonical Man, Ford's Theater Disaster, Helen, pigfarmerjr, Wages

I'll listen a bit more this week and decide where exactly I'll draw the line as far as voting goes.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Pigfarmer Jr »

Nancy Rost – Very creative and inventive. I can picture a funeral scene in a cult flick with this song being the only dialogue. Almost an ‘oh brother’ type of song for a more modern adventure. You get a vote for being the most unique and sparking my creative fire.

Far Off Land ft Wise – I couldn’t quite make out the vox, especially at the beginning. I liked the chorus. The repeats were a bit much for me but overall pretty well done in a genre I don’t listen to very often.

Chad Fowler – I liked the sparse percussion and vocals, especially the left panned stuff. This is like the Willy Wonka of Dirt Nap songs. Just off kilter but pretty damn cool.

Lucky Spoon – I really liked the part that starts ‘I don’t wanna know…’ Good vocals, harmonies.

Wages – okay, you guys gotta quit it. A bunch of good songs this week. I love the guitar playing on this one, and your vox works great. A little static in the play back, but perhaps that’s my stupid computer. It does that sometimes. This song is something I’d like to learn and play. It works very well as a gtr/vox demo.

Balance Lost – Rhythmically interesting and compelling. Lots of interesting bits put together to make a the whole pretty good. Somehow it lost me though in spite of itself.

Pigfarmer Jr – Me. Written and recorded and rendered in a couple of hours just shy of the deadline. The mix is off, and the acoustic guitar has more mistakes than I thought (as was pointed out before.) I think it needs something else on the chorus to make it stand out. More distorted guitar maybe?

Holst – I love the melody in the chorus. The vocals work great there, and the overlapping is a nice touch.

Helen – Another one with a good melody in the chorus. It really drew me in. I love your voice and your use of harmonies here. The music is almost understated and works the better for it.

Dinner Time Boys – Great use of dissonance. Was that a cow in there near the end?

Ross Durand – Almost a cripple creek bass run. I really like the use of acoustic/harmonica here. Sometimes that comes off as cliché these days, but it’s nearly perfect here. This sounds familiar but interesting (with a slight change/interesting chord change in there.) The best of both worlds. I know sometimes the singer/songwriting stuff gets panned here, but I can’t imagine this song being done any better that it’s done right here.

Ford’s Theater Disaster – I like the sound of this, but it’s the bass that really brings out the sound for me. Good vocals. This song has a bit of the Uncle Tupelo vibe, maybe updated a bit. Pretty good comparison for me. Again, that bass line keeps the distorted guitars sound driving.

Cannonical Man – I like the effect/sound of the male vox. And it contrasts nicely with the female vocals. I like the soccer innuendo combination in the lyric as well.

Chekhov’s Raygun – Zombies rule. All the vocals on the right side became annoying after a bit.


There were Quite a few I really liked here. Disparate styles but good quality. It's easy to hear that my production is notches below the standard, even on the G&G stuff. Thanks for the reviews.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by helen »

Ok, so newbie here, but I'm guessing the reviewing is part of the process, so here goes. Apologies if they're a bit short.

Balance Lost - Really liked this once it got going, but the intro and instrumental bits were a little too samey to be that long, in my opinion.

Canonical Man - The verses sound like a completely different song to the chorus. I like both, though. It sounds kinda like a mash-up.

Chad Fowler - If you hadn't put the hip hop voices in there, I'd really, really like this. I just found them really off-putting.

Chekhov's Raygun - I couldn't make out enough of the words to catch the narrative and there didn't seem to be a lot to catch on to apart from that. The beats were decent; it just all felt like it needed something more to me.

Dinnertime Boys - Yeah, really not my thing at all. I wish I could say something more useful, but I just really don't like that kind of music much, so it's hard to say if it's good or bad.

Far Off Land ft Wise - I found the weird arpeggio sounds in the first verse kinda off-putting, partly, I think, because they're just too loud against the vocal. Good song overall, though.

Ford's Theatre Disaster - Cool sing-a-long song. I don't think it needed to come back after the stop, though, or if it did, maybe you could have thrown in a bridge of something to keep it interesting.

Helen - That's me. I had a chorus and kept meaning to write the rest of the song, then suddenly, I had 2 hours left. Lesson learned - start writing earlier so I can do a better recording.

Holst - I really like this. It has a nice energy to it. It's only after listening to it that I found where people post their lyrics and I misheard the last line as "take a dirt nap with my johnson", which surprised me somewhat.

Lucky Spoon - This is great. Really love the lead guitar line (ebowed?) and chorus harmonies.

Nancy Rost - Not the finest recording, as I think has been mentioned, but the song itself is lovely. It has that kind of end of album vibe to it.

Pigfarmer Jr - Love the lead guitar line on this. I can hear a lot more could be done with this. It seems a little incomplete - maybe a second take of the acoustic in the chorus would give it a bit more kick.

Ross Durand - Nice mellow track. I'm not much into country, but this is fairly enjoyable.

Wages - I really like your voice; the guitar playing could do with a bit of work, but overall good sound on this one.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by HolstBen »

More short reviews! Hurrah!

Balance Lost - Very, very Foals. Any intentional inspiration from there? I like the bass/guitar cross-patterns. The mix is great, really well done. Musically well played, well written. Can't say much more than that! [vote]

Canonical Man - Interesting. Very interesting. Obscure, actually. What happened with the verse[?] vocals? They felt a little bit set back in the mix with very little top-end on them. I do like the way it's linked in to the World Cup, however. Nice idea.

Chad Fowler - It's like Radiohead meets Nelly meets Outkast! The chorus vocals on the "Dirt Nap" sections are brilliant, I really like them. Well mixed, well processed. [vote]

Chekhov's Raygun - What? Don't pan your vocals hard right! Sans-vocals, I really like the backing, would work well in a Sonic game. Also when nerdcoring it up, try to vary the emphases in your lines. Saying that, I couldn't do it. Funky song, overall. Heh, zombies.

The Dinnertime Boys - A mashup of genres. I love the detuning synths, but the rest of the song seemed to lack any direction. Which is a shame, I'd like to see a version of this with vocals or something.

A Far Off Land ft. Wise - Completely agree with helen here, the arpeggio was way too loud against the vocals. The vocals need turning up, and it lacks something in the choruses, but this is really nicely done. Love the lyrics, and the way they work against the drums. Excellent. [vote]

Ford's Theatre Disaster - I didn't really understand what chords your harmony vocals were trying to get through, seemed a little convoluted. This'll be the one to stick in my head post-listen. One question I must ask you, though... What IF this is the end?

Helen - I like your vocals, a little No Doubt, very nice. Seems to be a popular opinion that the distorted guitar is too quiet - I personally like it where it sits now. Nice mix, panning the acoustic was a good choice. Oh, you just earned a vote because of the ending vocal passages. [vote]

Holst - I'm really not saying "Take a dirt nap with my Johnson". I swear. I should take this time to mention that the primary lyric writer is the other half of Holst, Thryn. I should get her to register. [vote]

Lucky Spoon - Nice bass recording. Great almost ethereal feel to the whole song. Really like the harmony vocals. This has an Oasis quality to it, but the good kind of Oasis quality. The louder breakdown section needed another guitar layer, perhaps, to bring it through a bit more. How did you record your drums? Downloading this one for future listening, this is my favourite. Overall brilliant. [vote]

Nancy Rost - You lost me at 1:23. Try and keep your vocals in time. Don't really like the recording, or the song. Sorry. The idea was great, though.

Pigfarmer Jr - Once again, agreed with Helen, it needs something more to it about halfway through. Guitar sound is very odd, very strained. I like the song, though, nice progressions. Put a bit more "oomph!" into the "you're takin' a dirt nap, honey" sections with your vocals, that bit deserves to be angry! Outro was nice too.

Ross Durand - Wonderful track. Perfect production, couldn't suggest anything to improve it. It's such a cliché set of instruments; acoustic guitar, harmonica, organ, and lazily rocking voice - but it works well. Very well, in fact. I'm downloading this one too. Well done, sir. [vote]

Wages - As has been mentioned, the fret buzz is ugly. Your voice is excellent, though, I liked the concept of the song but the guitar sound lost my vote, I'm afraid.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by nyjm »

Balance Lost - vote
+++ stream of consciousness verse melody +++
--- let down of the chorus: it builds all sorts of tension and then all we get is a simple 1-2, 1-2; I would double-time it ---
/// the long intro build-up is a little self-indulgent ///

A Fat of Land ft. Wise
/// bias alert: rap and hip-hop must be exceptional to impress me ///
/// this isn't bad ///

Lucky Spoon - vote
/// I know that guitar effect from somewhere... in any case, nice Pink Floyd / Smashing Pumpkins vibe ///
--- lead guitar line is a little hot ---
+++ awesome vibe with a great rocking outro +++

Nancy Rost
--- vox fx ---
/// this is like a Medulla track gone bad ///

Pig Farmer
--- I've never been a fan of that acoustic/electric tone ---
/// there's a good tune here, it just needs more development and dynamics ///
/// for a murder ballad, this needs to be more sinister ///

Ford's Theater Disaster - vote
+++ dynamics +++
--- pitchy, overwrought verse vox ---
/// my attempt at being witty for the outro seems to have failed; it may be self-indulgent, but I still like it ///
/// sometimes I feel this could use a good lead guit lick, other times I like the punk simplicity ///

Canonical
--- muddy female vox ---
--- save that they share the common element of football, the two verses don't seem to have anything in common. They don't develop a idea together, or even as thesis / antithesis ---

Ross Durand - vote
+++ pure guthrie-inspired acoustic goodness +++

Holst
+++ lyrics: ambiguous and sinister with a nice melody +++
/// for a song this long, I'd like to hear more orchestration ///

The Dinner Time Boys
--- fail submission is fail ---

Chekov's Raygun
+++ band name +++
--- hard panned vox ---
--- awkward prosody ---

Chad Fowler
+++ interesting genre mash-up +++
/// i don't know if it's all that effective ///
--- hard-panned backing vox are too hot / too harsh ---

Helen
/// meh. you have a nice voice, but neither the melody nor the arrangement strike me ///

Wages
+++ lyrics and melody +++
/// lacks the arrangement or orchestration to make it really, really good ///
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by nyjm »

HolstBen wrote:Ford's Theater Disaster [...] This'll be the one to stick in my head post-listen. One question I must ask you, though... What IF this is the end?
This is exactly what I was going for: that simple melody that sticks in your head, that you wake up the next morning humming and you don't know why. So, vocal performance aside, at least one part of this effort was a success. Thanks!

Oh, and as for your question, I don't know - we'll all have to watch the new season of True Blood.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by AdamFarLand »

My forth song, (2 as A Far Off Land, 2 ft. my buddy Wise,) and my first reviews. Thanks to everyone for their comments...
Oh, and sorry if I seem harsh... It may not seem it but this has been one of my favorite fights to listen through ;)

Lucky Spoon voted 4th

One of my favorites for this fight. I always enjoy sparse production and the chord pro works great for this feel. That being said I think something like an organ to fill in the chords during the verses without a rhythm guitar could add some dimension and help the vocals pop. I dig the reverse cymbals and the volume swell guitar but I think the flanger guitar would work better with a little less flange. The snare is gated a little to heavy during the verses for my taste. These are all subtle issues for me and they only slightly take away from the fact that I really enjoyed the song.

Nancy Rost

The first third of the song or so would make a great intro to a more orchestrated and cleaner version of the last 2/3s, but as a whole it feels a little too odd for my ear. Many props for the sputtery accordion sound, but again, this gets old quick. I always enjoy the quirky entries though, if only for the knowledge that some people write music for themselves as an artistic outlet, and not necessarily to when fights.

A Far Off Land ft. Wise voted

This one's mine. I had alot of fun with this one... gating almost everything but the drums to a 16th note metronome. I did get a little overzealous with some of the arps and crazy edits though and therefore agree with most of the reviews. I guess I should have checked the mix in the car first but I always seem to wait till I only have 6 hours before the song is due to spend time on the mix. FYI, Wise is the rapper on the first 2 verses, I'm on the 3rd. Compared to him I suck at rapping so I really only rap for fun.

Balance Lost voted 2nd

Another great on as far as production goes. Instrumentally the whole song is great, especially the intro is great, the chorus is crazy catchy and the bridge functions perfectly. Some of this reminds me a little of Television, (a great band if you like this style.) My only issues might be the distorted guitar that comes in the back of the mix about half way through the first verse and the vocals. The guitar tone and sustained style doesn't feel like it belongs and I don't recall hearing it anywhere else. I think the vocal would fit the song better if they were approached with the same silliness as the intro and some of the chorus. Maybe think old Modest Mouse. All in all I really dig it!

Fords Theatre Disaster

Pieces of this momentarily remind me of Gomez but not quite enough for me to really like it. The bass is too subby, And the vocals could use some compression and more high end for my taste. Arrangement and production wise I like it but find it hard to focus on them considering the mix... a problem associated with many songs I've submitted as well. Mostly I think the song would be great if the recording/mixing were less rushed and the drums were rethought out.

Pigfarmer Jr.

My first turn off is the guitar tones... the acoustic sounds like a cheap guitar lined in as does the electric, which sounds like it may need some intonation work. I do like the lyrics... I always like kill women songs (down by the river, hey joe) haha... Try a mic on the acoustic next time. almost anything would sound better than a line in.

Helen

Another victim of straight lined in instruments. The acoustic sounds like it mights have had been stretched, or maybe a bad cable. I like when the bass walks in the verses and would like to hear more of that. The vocal melody is nice but is sometimes compromised by the low harmony. I like the dark theme of the lyrics... very Shakespearian of you ;)

Canninical Man

There's not a whole lot I like about this one. I guess the female soccer/sex innuendo verse is kinda cool. The beat sounds too casioish, not in a good way. The hook is monotonous and repetitive and not clever enough to be so. The female vocals near the beginning are beyond muffled and have no high end. Doesn't really stand up in a fight with so many good songs.

Chad Fowler voted 3rd

Oh I can dig it... I love the production though it could be a hair tighter timing wise between the kick, snr, tabla thing. I enjoy all of the vocal efx and panning although I think the song would benefit from presenting the same ideas in a more subtle way. The panned vocals have a little too much AM radio, bull horn kinda sound and their brieffness during the chorus is destracting. All in all this one is tied for first for me.

Holst vote 5th

It's nice to hear a well recorded acoustic guitar. You might wanna get a pop filter for vocals, (a cloths hanger and panty hose works just as well as the one's you buy, plus they bolster the classiness of any studio,) You could get rid of most of the plosives on this track with a steep shelf high pass filter set at about 100 hZ if you ever remix. While I like the tone of everything, I think most everything is a little overcompressed... This is typically only an issue upon repeat lstenings. Love the shaker and the stereo harmonies. Great job on the chord pro, melody and lyrics!

Wages

And another lined in acoustic... I like the chord pro and arrangement although I think some full band production and redoing these parts carefully on electric would sell the song much more effectively. It's hard to enjoy this song as much as I might when others in the fight put so much effort into production. I'd strive for better performances, mic your acoustic and maybe double your vocals on the choruses or something. There's a good song is there somewhere, but it feels like you threw it together, thereby negating the positive qualities.

The Dinnertime Boys

I like the theme and the instruments. It gets a bit convoluted when everything comes in. The parts gell well but they end up batteling eachother for attention. Some sparser production would help with this. I can't help but grin at the fact the the only lyrics are the occasional "Diiiiiirt Nap" and the briefness of it. I smiled while listening yet for the same reason don't feel like a vote is earned here.

Ross Durand voted 1st

This song easily competes with the fully produced songs. If most people would put the effort into writing a beat or layering up 18 guitars as you did in writing a cool chord pro with nice 7th chord segues and a vocal melody to match it... well lets just say your raising the bar. I love the double tracked and then panned acoustics. The organ part is perfect and sits in just the right place and the lyrics work great. My only beef is the harp on the chord that seems to be a chromatic step up after the 7th chord a bar or 2 before the "rest in peace" part. Just seemed a little off. Great song!

Chekhovs Raygun

Well of course I can dig this. The lyrics that can hear are clever and the beat works in a goofy kind of way. I respect panned vocals but not if it's completely arbitrary. A centered vocal here would make this track much easier to listen to and the lyrics easier to understand. Other than that, I wouldn't suggest much on a song like this since whatever flaws it may have only lend to it's personality and charm. I'm looking forward to more from you.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by canonicalman »

The more I listen to some songs the more some of them stick in my head.

I found myself bouncing on my heels and humming the Balance Lost entry in the elevator today. You got your hooks into my head. Good job. For some reason I now think of pixies and brownies running through the woods singing this song. *heh* I don't think it was what you were going for but the chirpy harmonies in the intro contribute to the effect.

Holst's song has also been growing on me. The tale draws me in each time though ever since the others mentioned I now can't help but hear "take a dirt nap with my johnson." *groans* <sarcasm>Thanks for sticking that phrase into my mind guys *washes brain with bleach*</sarcasm>

Just wanted to add another comment to let you two know you knocked me out of my own top five. Sorry I underestimated your entries initially. I think I have added all the top 5 to my playlist at work.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by wages »

Thanks for the reviews thus far. This is just the "so I can remember it" take (what I record after I write a song). I actually recorded the song separately with some friends but due to technical difficulties (for some reason, we couldn't save the file!), we weren't able to submit the better track. Too bad too, because it's got drums and lead guitar. We also mic'd my guitar but I suspect there will still be buzz. As soon as I can get it into the computer, I'll post a link.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Spintown »

http://spintown79.blogspot.com/2010/06/ ... t-nap.html

Ross Durand - The songs are completely different, but you've got the vocal performance that Pigfarmer Jr was lacking. I didn't care for a couple notes you hit, but it's a fine song.

Holst - Some of the lines didn't grab me, but overall I enjoyed it. The strong vocals probably won me over enough for a vote.

A Far Off Land ft. Wise - Overall it was enjoyable. Lyrics, flow, & music (simple, but effective). The chorus is the weakest part of the track for me. "Dirty Dirt Nap"? Change that shit.

Pigfarmer Jr - The vocals were nice & clean, but the lyrics would suggest more anger in the performance. I didn't get enough feeling from your performance to match the lyrics. I think it would also benefit from being sped up a little. It's not bad, and you're getting a vote, but I don't know how much replay value this has "as is".

Chekhov's Raygun - I hate raps in which the vocals aren't clear, and yours were very clear. Unfortunately they were way too quiet. The beat was alright at best, but for me lyrics & flow are more important in a rap. I can't say "Great job", but I'll give you a "Nice effort". I would actually like to hear more from you in Song Fight.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by chekhovsraygun »

First Songfight! First time recording vocals too.

Balance Lost: I got a little anxious for it to progress the first time I listened, but then whistled it for two days straight afterwards. Vote.

Canonical Man: I had a hard time hearing some of the female vocals, but enjoyed the innuendo. I think it helped a lot that I'd read you were writing about soccer before I heard it.

Chad Fowler: I really liked the production, but it got a little too soulful for my tastes. I'm not really sure what that says about my tastes.

Chekhov's Raygun: Me. I newb'd the vocals pretty hard, but learned an important lesson about the wonders of stereo recording, namely: that input I used was mono. Not a conscious decision, just a gross omission. It got kinda late, so probably a case of tunnel vision.

The Dinner Time Boy: After a few listens I'm enjoying this well enough. Individually I dig the instruments, but they didn't always stack nicely.

A Far Off Land ft. Wise: Solid. I liked the backtrack, flows were good. I really enjoyed the environmentalist third verse. Vote.

Ford's Theater Disaster: I didn't like the false ending at first, but after reading your explanation I feel dumb for missing the joke and now enjoy it a lot more. Otherwise a pretty enjoyable song.

Helen: Nice voice, I liked the harmony. You executed the style well. My collaborator-who-prolly-won't-post really liked it, so vote!

Holst: I enjoyed the song. You've got a really strong voice. Pretty good story in the lyrics too. Apart from the words 'dirt nap', it sounds kinda traditional. Like and old sea song or something?

Lucky Spoon: I was enjoying the song until about 3:20, when I really enjoyed it. I'd have bought your cds in highschool. Vote.

Nancy Rost: Between the "accordion" and the two voice parts, the trembling got a bit out of control. I think if you could get some space between the different elements this could sound pretty cool. Maybe just more vocals, quieter drone.

Pig Farmer Jr: Domestic tension! I wanted the vocals in the first chorus to get louder/angrier, but didn't feel any disappointment on subsequent verses, so it worked out well enough.

Ross Durand: Very well architected. Also blissfully succinct. Very strong song. Vote.

Wages: This would definitely benefit from additional instruments. Looking forward to the full band arrangement.


Ohhh man. Reviews are almost harder than finishing a song.
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by wages »

chekhovsraygun wrote:Wages: This would definitely benefit from additional instruments. Looking forward to the full band arrangement.
Here is the better band demo. Yes, we realize the slide work is all over the place, but there is a reward at the end where the lead work gets really awesome (that's when Drago started really feeling it; this is all, of course, improv leads):
http://www.philwages.com/music/wages_dn ... _drago.mp3
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by chadfowler »

chekhovsraygun wrote:
Chad Fowler: I really liked the production, but it got a little too soulful for my tastes. I'm not really sure what that says about my tastes.
I'm really curious to hear more what you mean by this :D

And ya I agree reviewing can be harder than actually submitting.

Thanks!
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

That's about a million times better than what you submitted. You should do that from now on. Except, you did the wrong title!
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by wages »

Manhattan Glutton wrote:
That's about a million times better than what you submitted. You should do that from now on. Except, you did the wrong title!
Thanks! I may be dense, but why are you quoting SOLD OUT? Did I post my demo for that back them? I know I never submitted it. Unless you mean the lyrics "sell him out" from DIRT NAP...

think too much.. too much!
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

Wages wrote:I may be dense, but why are you quoting SOLD OUT?
The 'sell out sell out sell out sell out' lyrics were the only ones that really made an impression the first listen.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by wages »

Manhattan Glutton wrote:
Wages wrote:I may be dense, but why are you quoting SOLD OUT?
The 'sell out sell out sell out sell out' lyrics were the only ones that really made an impression the first listen.
Ah, I know what you mean. Sometimes it just sounds wrong for the song title to have the "hook". That might all be in my head, but that is where the creative juices are..... I think. ;)
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Re: Plant Your Petunia Pillow (Dirt Nap Reviews)

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

Some drive thru reviews:

Balance Lost - nice and bouncy as always, good potential. bass line is particularly nice. vocals off-tune, song structure needs to go elsewhere.

Canonical Man - the hook is cool. falls apart at the female vocals - singer needs more confidence. talking parts annoying.

Chad Fowler - good production. backing music feels a little sparse for the style of singing. i like the effect you're using on the panned vox.

Chekhov's Raygun - your rapping needs lots of help, and you should not pan it into my right ear.

the dinner time boyz - if you're going to do an instrumental, do it all the way - the 'dirt nappp's cheapen it. I don't necessarily agree with the choice of instruments here either.

a far off planet - this is pretty good for a rap, but right now it seems like an homage to other famous rap songs. could benefit from some more production - effects, loudness, etc.

ford's theater disaster - i had great hopes for this one, and then the singing started. it seems so crisp and then the vox are all off key and forced.

helen - welcome. very good for a first entry. you sing well, and have a good number of instruments. you still need some fake drums, and a good microphone.

holst - 3/4, you get the bonus points for the waltz. and your chorus melody is really awesome with your low voice. with that voice, maybe i will take a dirt nap with your johnson. watch your pops/plosives. the song stands pretty well without any more instruments. only minus here is that the song should end half way through.

lucky spoon - nice groove, love the chorus and harmonies in general. don't like how i can hear the pasted drum parts. whole mix is pretty dripping wet, which is good atmosphere but probably could have gotten away with a little less. i would have milked part B moar because it's the emotional crescendo! but this is good too.

nancy rost - i think you entered the wrong contest. this is not "most intolerable song fight"

pig farmer jr - oh good god you're like ross durand 2.0. You're coming through awfully nasally and shaky. Verse is pretty catchy, chorus sounds forced.

ross durand - ross durand will be ross durand

wages - wages will be wages. at least we have a fuller version this time.

the winrars are - holst & lucky spoon
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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