Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
User avatar
roymond
Beat It
Posts: 5161
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Logic
Recording Method: Logic X, MacBookPro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2
Submitting as: roymond, Dangerous Croutons, Intentionally Left Bank
Location: brooklyn
Contact:

Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by roymond »

If parting is such sweet sorrow, who will take the win this week?
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Congratulatons, roymond; you finally managed to write a song I don't really care for." - Märk
Smalltown Mike
Mean Street
Posts: 545
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 11:49 am
Submitting as: Flaming Tiger, shrts, shot pounder, Gert, OG Lawn Darts, Slither, Slickitude
Location: Toronto

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by Smalltown Mike »

The Hate Noise track is the best thing I've heard on SF in years—except for that noisy mess halfway in the third quarter.
Punk rock is for children. Grab a six-pack at Half-a-Dozen Records.
User avatar
BBABM
Mean Street
Posts: 666
Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2010 11:34 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Voice, drums
Recording Method: Session, fruity loops
Submitting as: Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs, Fitzroy
Location: Charlottesville, Va

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by BBABM »

i gotta agree, that song was phenomenal... i even bore through the min and a half of loud noise at the end just to hear if there was anything else... sick
User avatar
glennny
Jump
Posts: 2094
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:39 am
Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Dobro, Banjo, E-Bow, Glock
Recording Method: Garageband
Submitting as: Berkeley Social Scene
Location: Castro Valley, California

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by glennny »

The problem with the Hate Noise track is that it's like 54 measures too long. This should be about 96 measures and it's like 150. I listened, thought it was great and about to be over then I saw I wasn't even halfway through the song. Too redundant for me!
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
User avatar
BBABM
Mean Street
Posts: 666
Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2010 11:34 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Voice, drums
Recording Method: Session, fruity loops
Submitting as: Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs, Fitzroy
Location: Charlottesville, Va

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by BBABM »

ill buy that... the beat is really what got me, and that weird "wubbing" sound (is what i'll call it) fit perfectly
Stubby Phillips
Somebody Get Me A Doctor
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 12:22 pm

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by Stubby Phillips »

Sit back. Try to relax. Mr. Diagnosis will now toy with your emotions. This might hurt a little.
As is the custom, I will award prizes that either will or will not help you in your musical quest, whatever it may be. Sometimes it's not obvious.

Masterhyde: This song is whack -- it's like the IT guy at Atlantic Records talked one of the artists into coming to his house and singing on his nerdcore track. The intrumentation is ok; not really engaging, but that might be partially due to genre bias. I can't really comment on the sound quality (little black boombox only gives me the middle part of the spectrum). The lyric is clever and non-gratuitous. It's the voice that stands out here. The vocal tone, rhythm, articulation is all great. It's actually too good for the lyrics. Too good to be paired with the other vox part. The lyric, like I said, is clever. But the story needs more, to build or turn somehow instead of sounding like a bunch of clever lines pasted together. I was surprised to look back and see this only lasted 2:47 -- it felt much longer. In other words, I was getting bored. One of the deadly sins. This had no edge, no bite, and few avenues for introspection, self-identification, or humor. OK -- I can identify with the whole story about writing a song, but it's not what I want to hear about. The lead vox steals the show, but doesn't save the song. One pair of scissors.

Roymond: The intro is cool with that faulty aquarium pump. Then the vox comes in and I'm thinkin' you shoulda done this as a fast grunge song. Doesn't fit here somehow. The mandolin doing Middle Eastern stuff is cool. I wish I could hear Nirvana do this -- maybe acoustically, but definitely faster. One copy of 'Bleach'.

The HATE Noise: I like the music -- not the lyrical style so much. Pretty tight. Small changes keep me kinda interested, big changes are too weird, and the song's too long. The phrase 'self indulgent' comes to mind. It's like I discovered a new genre bias. One egg timer.

The Capitalist Youth: Vocal stumbles here and there. I would have done something else with the drums -- and then you do. Sounds like shoes slapping against the pavement. It gets better toward the end, or is it just growing on me? Yeah, this is getting better. Don't know how. By the end I'm thinking "I didn't really like it at first, but now it's OK." Now I'm thinking "That's a stupid thing to write". Now it's "I better stop". You get a copy of America's 1971 debut album, never played.

MENBAH!: Very cool. Fast. Clean. EXCELLENT lyric. Very good vox. Not parody or novelty or lame rehash. It sounds fairly 'authentic' -- whatever that means -- due in large part to the flow of the vox/rhythm guitar. I'm not sure the lead guitar belongs in there, but if it does it needs to be louder. I award you one Dumble ODS 100 watt head and a 4x12 cab w/ Celestion Vintage 30's. Vote

Mike Lamb: First impression: Emo. Second: the guitar is played better than the voice. Third: Nice feel to it. Simple. Short. Not bad. You get a TC Electronic pitch corrector.

Ross Durand: Down home folk thing isn't doing it for me. Bob and Woody would be proud, though, given the fine lyric and competent presentation. Oh, what the hell... Vote. You get my 3/4 size 1970 Stella acoustic -- sounds like you're having too easy a time playing whatever you're playing. Nice work.

Steve Durand: Musically, I mean instrumentally diverse. The singing fits, although it's a little too rough for my taste. The rough vocal on Ross' song sounds like an affectation; here it sounds more like a shortcoming. If you were riding a raft down the Missouri while playing this I'd send out a hoot and clap from the shore -- but here we are. One raccoon egg.

New Result: I grow weary. You don't grow at all. One kick in the pants.

Queen Cigarette: Nice lead. Nice feel. I half expected to hear 20 seconds of kick ass at the end, but it's probably better this way. The song -- not the level -- seems to fade out with a minute left to go. It's OK, but no vote this time. One Selmer Maccaferri w/o resonator. Painted black.

Tuners Union: It bothers me that everyone plays competently on this track. I don't really like the music structure. Or the vox. Double-time drums are distracting. But I really dig the hollerin' in the background on the refrain. Good job, you! You get a cookie. Sorry that it's under-baked.

I need to take a break to find some other great prizes for the rest of y'all.
Yee - HAH!
Last edited by Stubby Phillips on Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Enter a song? Review songs!
Eric Y.
Ice Cream Man
Posts: 1797
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2004 12:36 pm

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by Eric Y. »

Hello again, Song Fight! Here go some more opinions about songs, in no particular order. If I was restricted to only a single vote, there's a good chance mine might have gone to joshmillard. However, once again I intend to take full advantage of my newfound ability to vote for multiple songs, and randomly pick three favorites.

Thematically and lyrically, I find myself really agreeing with (and enjoying) rossdurand's song. I liked some of the phrasing (i.e. "someone dresses us to leave"), but even more than the actual wording, I really appreciated the overall message.

I'm not sure if you are trying to personify the first line of your song, joneric, but each thing you sing seems to drag in the middle until the end of the line. Also, when it abruptly cuts out near the end -- I listened and relistened to all the words before and after that, thinking I was missing a joke or something that would make sense for you to pause like that, but I'm coming up blank.

Although you may not be black like Barry White, but rather, white like Frank Black is, hatenoise, I have to say I enjoyed nearly everything about your song. Except for the part where it ends and there's some atonal noise stuff and then the music comes back for a little bit and then it's over. That (atonal) part didn't bother me except that it went on for too long. Ideally, I would like to cut out from approximately 3:07-3:22. Otherwise, a very nearly stellar performance. I was very disappointed with lsk's failure to deliver on the promise of sleighbells. Thankfully, masterhyde did the exact same meta-song theme, but did it a whole lot better.

Kudos to architectsofdesire for a fine piece of work, love that slinky bassline. Also to joshmillard: I have utterly no idea what you mean by "Egyptian with a capital 'N'," but I love it; I kind of wish I could see this performed live.

I'm almost positive I've heard kingarthur's song before, at the Mexican buffet near where I live. Always wondered what they were talking about, so thanks for doing an English version for me. Otherwise, I'm afraid it didn't do much for me. Oh, and speaking of genre bias, I don't feel like my life has been enhanced in any way after hearing the entry by newresult, which I don't think even qualifies for this competition because I'm pretty sure it is actually titled "Thut Middle Part."

Clearly, the hands-down winner of the "Best Funk-Fusion-Dixieland Song" award was stevedurand. Also the winner of the "Least Surprising Surprise Ending Lyrics" award.

Your music was pretty good, berkeleysocialscene; and capitalistyouth's instrumental parts were a peculiar mismatch of styles that was inexplicably quite successful (not to mention, the sustained chord that leads into the song and holds throughout sounds exactly like the one that opens Amorphis' "The Way"). However, for both of these songs, I did not particularly like your style of singing. I won't say that the singing was bad, just that it is not to my personal taste.

On the other hand, I have no opinion whatsoever about the singing in the badboysatbatmitzvahs song, because quite frankly I could barely even hear that there was any singing at all. I could hear mikelamb's singing a bit more (although it was also pretty quiet in relation to the music), but the song itself felt very incomplete to me. Exactly where it ended was where I expected the rest of the band to jump in and start rocking it. And in my head, it somewhat resembled the arrangement of "Still Loving You." I had no trouble whatsoever hearing roymond's vocals, although at times I felt like the doubling/trebling/fourpling layers might have added an unintended dimension of overpoweringness to the delivery. Or maybe it wasn't unintended, what do I know.

I did like the singing (lead and backing) in bachelorpolice's song, but the guitar tones throughout did not resonate well with me. Too trebly or something, I don't quite know how to describe it. That guitar solo that was nearly a minute long really took the whole song down a few notches, to me, based on my dislike of the overall tonality of the guitar. The (lead) guitar sound was much better in the one by menbah, although it really clashed with the style of the whole rest of the song. queencigarette seemed to get it right in terms of vocal and guitar tones, plus I appreciate the way the bass ties them all together.

Lastly, tunersunion: the writing and performance of your song was fine, but the recording and mixing and panning really leave a lot to be desired. But now I can accurately say I know how it feels to be deaf in one ear with the other not too far behind.
User avatar
JonPorobil
Beat It
Posts: 5592
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
Recording Method: Cubase 10.5
Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
Pronouns: He/Him
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by JonPorobil »

Eric Y. wrote: I'm not sure if you are trying to personify the first line of your song, joneric, but each thing you sing seems to drag in the middle until the end of the line. Also, when it abruptly cuts out near the end -- I listened and relistened to all the words before and after that, thinking I was missing a joke or something that would make sense for you to pause like that, but I'm coming up blank.
I think you might be searching for levels of meaning that do not exist in my entry. The lyrics were intended to be taken at face value; this is just a simple little song about dying - a song which has an unusually high concentration of distinct chords and rhyming words, but a simple one nonetheless.

So, you know... Don't hate it because you don't get it; rather, hate it because there's nothing to get. 8)

I will, however, take it as a compliment that you're nitpicking about whether the lyrics inform the melody's cadence - I know in my reviews, I only start musing about stuff like that when everything else is pretty solid. Thanks for the reviews!
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
User avatar
joshmillard
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitar, piano, banjo, ukulele, drums, vox
Recording Method: Garageband, FourTrack for the iPhone
Submitting as: Josh Millard
Location: Portland, OR
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by joshmillard »

Also to joshmillard: I have utterly no idea what you mean by "Egyptian with a capital 'N'," but I love it; I kind of wish I could see this performed live.
It's actually the implausible portmanteau "NIMBYgyptian", so you can hardly be blamed for not catching it.
User avatar
JonPorobil
Beat It
Posts: 5592
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
Recording Method: Cubase 10.5
Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
Pronouns: He/Him
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by JonPorobil »

Not in My Back Yard, combined with "Egyptian." That's genius, man. But the capital N part rubs me a little wrong. Probably because that gives a lot of emphasis to the word "Not." Eh.

Haven't heard the song yet; I'm just critiquing the lyric that you posted the lyrics thread (hey people! There's a lyrics thread! Post your lyrics!).

My full reviews might be up tonight, work isn't too busy. Else tomorrow afternoon.
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
TheCapitalistYouth
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 12:41 pm
Recording Method: Firepod/Cubase LE, 80's era TASCAM 4-track
Location: US
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by TheCapitalistYouth »

Ok I'm back from forever absence. Here are some rough and tumble comments, songs in the order they were presented to me. A comment: I'm filtering less today. Hopefully I'm still being constructive. Also I talk about vocals a lot because that's a deciding factor in whether or not I like a lot of music.

ARCHITECTS OF DESIRE
Nice production
Bass thing is cool
not a personal fan of vocal delivery

MASTERHYDE
"middle part is all I got" repeated a bit too much
too much reverb on vocals
writing songs about writing songs is boring
ending drags on

THE CAPITALIST YOUTH
Like the banjo/guitar texture
vocals sound rough
drum machine a questionable choice
claps and break on the second verse is nice effect

JOSH MILLARD
Like rough feeling of recording, feels raw, powerful
lyrics are a little hard to hear

NEW RESULT
boring
technically fine

KING ARTHUR
midi horns sound pretty bad
fart sound? this doesn't help with hokiness factor

ROSS DURAND
"birth and death" line sounds weird, some odd things about vocal delivery
nice harmonica

LSK
drums made me think I wanted to listen to it. lyrics, vocal delivery, synth and recording quality made me not want to

ROYMOND
some nice production effects.
I like the style you're going for
chorus vocal parts don't sound good
vocals too far up in mix / doubling sounds 80s / overeager delivery?

JON ERIC
solid simple arrangement
not my style personally
shortness is virtue


QUEEN CIGARETTE
less/no chorus on guitar
vocals too loud, a little off pitch
pleasant melody, chord structure

STEVE DURAND
vocal delivery reminds me of children's songs
nice instrumentation, general recording technique
ending not surprising, perhaps drawing out the theme too long
perhaps overuse of vibraslap
horns sound great

MENBAH!
whatever effect is on the vocal seems undesirable
"wooh" seems to lack impact
acoustic has positive upbeat/sloppy feel
lead guitar sound seems smooshed, far away
bop bops sound nice

MIKE LAMB
no chorus on guitar bro
concise
good execution of a style, even if I'm not necessarily into it

BAD BOYS AT BAT MITZVAHS
sounds really unsteady
vocals aren't loud in mix
nice little chant thing
too slow

BERKELEY SOCIAL SCENE
vocals need work
good vibe
pretty decent recording

THE HATE NOISE
good garage band/ska-y type backing
the chorus itself is really catchy
weird noise thing is obviously kind of distracting. used to it from soul-junk.

TUNERS UNION
voice sounds like that guy from office space with the stapler
too much chorus on guitars
drums sound a little thin

BACHELOR POLICE
Like guitars, drum sounds
Oh ohs sound good
Not too into timbre of voice, but can live with it because it's a good song
pleasant melody, chord structure
appreciate the lyrics
WEBSITES >> WOO | WOO | WOO
User avatar
king_arthur
Ice Cream Man
Posts: 1721
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2004 6:56 am
Instruments: guitar, vocals, bass, BIAB, keyboards = synth anything
Recording Method: Tascam DP-24SD
Submitting as: King Arthur
Location: Phoenix, AZ

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by king_arthur »

Reviews from the old guy...

Songs were reviewed in random (front page) order, but written up
in alpha order to make sure I didn't miss anyone.

Architects of Desire

I'm having trouble following the rhythm on a first listen here...
the harmony vocals are sweet, though, And the jazzy bits at the
start do serve as a warning that "this isn't going to be easy."
But I think I'd like it better if the bass part was a little more
tied to the "chord pattern" of the vocals, or maybe if the drums
weren't so insistent about this being a rock song.

Bachelor Police

Wishing things were a bit more in tune from the get-go. Wishing
there was more stereo separation among the instruments, too, it all
mushes together in the center and putting the BVs out to the side
just ain't the same. Not figuring out what the line about "the
middle part" has to do with anything else in the song...

Bad Boys At Bat Mitzvahs

Nice drum intro, tho' when the song kicks in, it seems like it lacks the
energy of that drum bit at the start. Instruments and vocals are kinda
half-timing it. Are we ever going to get beyond these two chords? I'd
like to hear some (more) reverb on the vocals.

Berkeley Social Scene

Yay stereo separation! Nice lead vocal. That vocal that plays against
it ("what are you looking for") might've worked better as a set of voices
in harmony... 7/4, but I can follow it because everybody in the band
has agreed that it's in 7/4. Lovely. Keeper and vote.

The Capitalist Youth

Hmm, that droning synth at the start doesn't really prepare me for a
bluegrass song, and before too long, I'm wishing it would just go away.
Hooray, 1:49 it finally gets out of the way...

The HATE Noise

This is the level of energy I was hoping Bad Boys would get to. And I
like that it's NOT a simple AABB group of rhyming phrases of the same
length - I get the sense that you took the time to work out something
really clever and then just ran it past us at 100 mph :-) Not exactly
my thing musically, but keeper and vote 'cause it's a standout piece in
the genre.

Jon Eric

Piano intro feels a bit uneven, rhythmically, and it doesn't seem like
it prepares us for the Broadway-ish rhythm we get once the vocal starts.
I'd like to see this expanded (tho' I recall you saying in the prefight
thread that you deliberately shortened it to get it recorded), maybe
bring in some strings in the middle, even if it's just an instrumental
section. Right after "the strings nearly snap" there's a hiss that
goes away - I don't know if this is what it is, but: just because the
singing stops doesn't mean the microphone gets turned off. A little
his on the vocal track isn't that noticeable until it suddenly stops
and starts. I can picture this in a Broadway-type show somewhere, one
of those Sondheim type shows. The lyric seems to me like it kinda jumps
between two stories - there are bits where I definitely pick up on
somebody caring for an elderly person with Alzheimer's or something
like that, but then there are a few lines - maybe it's just the references
to "little heart" that just seem out of place.

Josh Millard

The instrumental track builds up so much in the center of the track
that by about :50 in, it's hard to hear what you're singing, and in
this case, the song is the story, so we need to hear. Pan stuff
outward and build a little "pocket" for the vocal to sit in. Feels
like it's the same little melody / instrument riff for the last half,
some more variety would be nice. Interesting chord changes. Editing
note, see if you can clean up the footsteps or whatever at the start,
and at the end of the song, it sounds like you're turning the recorder
off as soon as each part is done rather than letting it roll until the
whole SONG is finished... maybe it's something else, but it sounds like
a lot of recorder-mechanical-clicking over the last ten seconds or so.
Hmm... I think part of the reason this isn't grabbing me is that there's
one pattern at the start, then it switches to something else about
halfway through... I'm not sensing a "structure" where it breaks down
into sections and comes back around... there's no point in the song
where I feel like, "hey, I know this part..."

King Arthur

Well, it came out the way I wanted it, tho' I understand that the appeal
around here will be limited... oh, and for the record, that's supposed to
be fiddles, not horns...

LSK

Ho, hum.

Masterhyde

I can tell exactly when the mic gets turned on because all of a sudden
there's this hiss. If you can't get a cleaner mic sound, keep the hiss
in the whole way so at least it doesn't attract attention to itself.
Raps about "I'm the best rapper around" and songs about songwriting
generally don't do much for me, tho' I see from the archive that you've
got a few songs up here and they're not all "I'm the best rapper" songs.

MENBAH!

Great voice and a well written song that flows nicely, but the instruments
not bringing me the happy. I can hear there's stereo stuff going on, but
they all seem to mush together. This would've worked better with a less
cluttered old-fashioned boogie band backing it up. still, keeper and vote
for being a good song.

Mike Lamb

Sweet guitar sound at the start, tho' I wish you'd panned it a little bit
out of the way of the vocal, especially since there's nothing else... umm,
interesting start to a song.

New Result

That pad thing that comes in about :20 in doesn't seem like it has anything
to do with the beat that's going on. Same for the horny thing about 1:05.
I was gonna complain about how long the intro is, but I guess we have an
instrumental here... hmm, long standing tradition here that just saying the
title a few times over an instrumental is kind of a cop out.

Queen Cigarette

I like the guitar and mandolin (?) sound on the intro... reminds me a little
bit of some Bruce Cockburn song. The vocal sound kinda dry on top of the
track, maybe a bit more reverb? And for me, a bit more stereo separation
would be cool, pull me into the song, make me feel like I'm in the middle of
something. Keeper and vote because it's like a Bruce Cockburn song.

Ross Durand

Watch those popping p's. Nice Dylanesque folky thing, and, as I say elsewhere,
I love stereo separation in the instruments, especially when they're in tune.
Nice harmonica. A little pitchy, but that can be forgiven given the influence.
The a capella intro, it seems like that last line comes in a little sooner than
it ought. Okay, verse 2 does that too, it works better with the instruments
in there, I think. Keeper and vote.

roymond

Hmm, if I was working with this I'd be tempted to swap the first and second
verses - seems like what you've got as your verse 2 does a better job of
setting us up to know what the song is "about." Your verse 1 adds some
nice color, but it seems to me like that should come after you've given us
something to hang onto in terms of understanding the song. (I yahoo'd Dr.
Karen Woo, so my comment is based on the theory that that's what the song
is s'posed to be "about.") The lead instrument that comes in around 3:00
seems kind of out of tune, over and above anythng modal it may be trying to
do.

Steve Durand

Overall, this is cute and clever and I love the sound of it... well played
and sung. The one thing that strikes me is that after the first reference
to "hair" I know what the "middle part" joke is going to be, but then we have
to wait and wait and wait for the punch line... all the way to the end of
the song. I wonder, if you took the last four lines ("...am I afraid...")
and stuck them right at the start, so that instead of making us wait for
the punch line, you start out by telling us the joke and then kinda riff on
it for the rest of the song, if that would actually be funnier. Or... just
use those four lines as the last half of the first verse (after "ever since I
was young"). Throw that percussion thing in right there and then you can go
back and elaborate the joke, without making us wait 3+ minutes for the punch
line we know is coming. Nonetheless, keeper and vote 'cause it just sounds so
good!

Tuners Union

Would've liked that fingerpicking guitar to stay involved in the song,
panned oposite from the drums. Yeah, the very unbalanced instrumental
on this gets annoying after a while... kinda drags my attention away
from the vocal. Even if you're just working in two tracks, pan 'em, like,
50% left and right and use a bunch of wash reverb to tie them to each
other. I have no objection to drums hard panned, but there has to be
something in the other ear to balance them.


So, umm, votes to Queen Cigarette, The HATE Noise, MENBAH!, Steve Durand,
Berkeley Social Scene, and Ross Durand.
"...one does not write in dactylic hexameter purely by accident..." - poetic designs
mr_lostman
Somebody Get Me A Doctor
Posts: 113
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 10:01 am
Location: College Station, TX
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by mr_lostman »

So the boys of Bachelor Police all are in a house together for the semester. This is our first entry as a band and we put it together Sunday. We decided we would sit down together and review the songs collectively on first impressions. Here goes (more to come at a later date). Also, the band members are James (me, vox, rhythm guitar), Todd (drums), and Grant (lead guitar).

Architects of Desire: We dig the beat. Everything sits well in the mix. The vocals for some reason or another are not sitting well with us. The melody is mildly grating. Todd thinks the drum break at 2 minutes was "forced". Todd and Grant are hearing Gorillaz, I'm not getting much of anything. Just kinda washes over.

Bachelor Police (us): This was thrown together in about a day. I'm not sure I mixed the backing vocals right. I wish we had taken the time to actually practice this song live or as a full band at least once before putting it all together. Yea, this song was just pieced together through the multi-track machine. I think if we ever attempt something similar we'll be sure to go through it a few times as a full band before laying it down. I'm pretty happy with this mix seeing as I haven't mixed or recorded anything this substantial in months.

Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs: The vocals are way too quiet. Todd says "it feels like he's droning rather than singing". This is really lacking a solid bass line. Needs to be sung with more conviction and needs a structure change somewhere to break it up.

Berkley Social Scene: Being a bunch of college radio disc jockeys we appreciate the name. On to the song. I like the guitar, Todd seems to think the rhythm section is trying to be too tricky to match the intro riff. The meter change is a bit out of place. The lead vocals on the chorus are reaching just a bit too far. We seem to be in consensus that the bridge into the instrumental section is the strongest part of the song.

The Capitalist Youth: Makes me think of Clem Snide till the fake drums drop. Everything else is so organic and nice that when the looped drums drop it just takes you out of the song. We feel it may actually be better without the drums at all. Maybe just use the knee-slap thing that started the second verse as the rhythm. The instrumentation is pretty cool (minus the drums). Nice harmonies.

The HATE Noise: This is not Todd's cup of tea lets just say. Personally, I love the beat and rhythm of the vocals. Very beastie boys. Its definitely a fun song. One of the best rap beats I've heard on songfight. We agree that its far too long though. The noise part at the end could have been removed entirely and just faded right before that. I want to put this on my ipod but I'm gonna get so pissed every time the last minute rolls around.

Jon Eric: Grant says "This desperately needs a counter melody". I feel that if there were a mix tape of all these songs, this would be the final track. Its a nice closer, simplistic in style and delivery. Nothing that stands out about it though.

Josh Millard: Todd says "The vocals need to be recorded somewhere else besides a closet" Jeezus that guitar is loud. As the song progresses I'm more and more sad to see the vocals regress back into the back of the mix. The vocal melody is really strong I just wish it were more prominent. Todd feels that if the guitar were panned or given its own space it might fit better as is, its just taking up space that could be used for better parts. God I wish those vocals were more prominent I really dig your vocal melodies (grant does too). Kudos on the use of real drums though. Todd feels a slightly earlier ending would have benefited you as well.

King Arthur: Todd says "sounds like something on a music for kids CD". Its a little hokey. The vocals are mixed at just the right level. Actually, the more we listen to this, the more we're enjoying it. Todd and Grant had a little laugh at the last verse. Okay, we'll give this to you. We're Texas boys and thats some good ol Country/polka.

LSK and The Magical Throwaway Lyrics: Perhaps too self referential? That synthesizer is deafening. "my rapping is not very good". Well we can't disagree there.

Masterhyde: Its almost perfect how this follows LSK. We keep wishing you'll start singing. At our college radio station we receive just absurd amount of self produced rap and this is exactly like ALL of it. It just doesn't stand out in any way. Todd feels that writing a song about not being able to write a song is a bit sad. Though he was singing along during the last chorus and makin up ideas for a music video involving unfinished sandwiches.

MENBAH!: I like it. The acoustic guitar is clipping. Wish it was a bit more clear and we'd dig it that much more. Grant says that guitar solo was "pretty sweet yet kind of useless/unnecessary" Oh but I'm a sucker for harmonies. Okay the band is officially split on this. I love it, Grant finds it funny, Todd hates it. Congrats, you've sparked debate.

Thats all for now, we'll probably be back at it soon. Thanks for all the feedback so far, hope we've helped somewhat as well.
"I can't hear a thing,
'cause I've stopped listening!"
-BNL
Steve Durand
Panama
Posts: 779
Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:26 pm
Instruments: trumpet, trombone, sax, clarinet, flute, keyboards, banjo, guitar, bass, ukulele
Recording Method: SONAR 6, Dell Inspiron E1705, Edirol UA-25, Studio Projects B-1 Mic
Submitting as: Steve Durand, Elastic Waste Band
Location: Anaheim, CA
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by Steve Durand »

Eric Y. wrote: Clearly, the hands-down winner of the "Best Funk-Fusion-Dixieland Song" award was stevedurand. Also the winner of the "Least Surprising Surprise Ending Lyrics" award.
Well it I wasn't really expecting it to be a surprise because once you know the title of the song it is obvious where it is going.

I like King Arthur's suggestion about how to maybe restructure the song.

Thanks for the review and welcome back.
"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture" -Unknown
"Seems to me this is the point of Songfight" - Max The Cat
User avatar
JonPorobil
Beat It
Posts: 5592
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
Recording Method: Cubase 10.5
Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
Pronouns: He/Him
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by JonPorobil »

Reviews! I did these at work between calls, on a pair of earbud headphones. If your song got interrupted by a call, I'll note that in the review. These are mostly first impressions.

Architects of Desire - Really cool intro. The voice sounds like it's straining a little bit to fit into the mileu here. But I love all of the instruments here. Slick bass. Nice drums, understated electric guitar. I especially like the drum fills that sound like they're coming from another drum kit a couple of rooms away. The harmonies are nice when they come in. I like just about everything here except for the lead vocal. You get a vote.

Bachelor Police - Distortion!!! This sounds like a b-side from an early-90s Matador single. I like the garage band sloppiness of it. The vocal is mixed a little bit low - it's audible, but I think the song might be better served with the vocal more prominent. Nice guitar solo. This song is fine. Might be a little bit too long, but I'm still voting for it.

Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs - God, I cringe just typing this band name. Pretty cool drum sample to come in on. The guitar sounds really thin, but it's decently-played. Lead vocal sounds like it's drowning. Way too low in the mix, but also muffled, somehow. I think it's some combination of inarticulate/unconfident delivery and poor mixing. There's a lot of repetition between about 1:30 and about 2:30 that might be considered for cutting. The "Deep now / caught in the middle now" coda is pretty cool, though; I wouldn't cut that. When it starts up, it's a welcome change to an otherwise samey song. But then that variation is allowed to repeat until it becomes stale. Just tighten it up.

Berkely Social Scene - From the opening lick, I'm sold. Lead vocal is a tad pitchy, but I really like the phrasing and the mellow vibe here. About a minute in, I got a phone call, so I reset it when I got back from that. Boy, what I said about the lead vocal? That goes double during the chorus. Is this what it's like listening to me? Oh well, I don't think it's enough to kill the song for me. Parts of the guitar solo clipped on my crappy earbuds, but that's most likely a problem on my end. Probable vote.

Capitalist Youth - Your voice reminds me a little of John Darnielle. The banjo and guitars combine for a folksy vibe, which you neatly subvert when the drum machine kicks in. I'm not crazy about the tone on that electric guitar. It's a little muddy, which gives the whole mix an amateurish feel. When the drum machine fades out in favor of handclaps, you nailed it. The handclaps feel a little muffled, though... computer mic? Oh well. This gets a vote.

The HATE Noise - Holy crap. I'm going to need a few more listens to process this, but we're only about twenty seconds in when I decide I'm voting for this. Great presentation on the genre. Great flow. Lyrics are kind of so-so, but it's obvious you had a lot of fun making this; that fun is contagious, and is often enough to push a middling song into vote territory. About halfway through each verse, there's an etherial-sounding sample that comes in across the top. I don't know what it is, but it works wonders for adding variation to the mix. About 2:40, it fades out into a random noise piece, which I didn't appreciate much. If the song had ended there, it would have been fine. If you had found a way to make the noise-break into a more listenable experience (and probably a shorter one as well), it would have been a freaking masterpiece. As it is, you get my vote, and my prediction for the win.

Jon Eric - I've never been good with intros. Hmm. Glad to hear the vocal holds up to a day-after listen.

Josh Millard - "NIMBYgyption" sounds like "And be Egyptian," which is probably responsible for the confusion. I'd have sung it as "Nim-bee-gyp-shin." You've got to mix your vocals louder. Your lyrics are bold and ambitious, and deserve to be heard. Your vibe is kind of old-school Ben Folds, and I dig it. The mix is muddy as all-get-out, but it doesn't obscure the mood and vibe of the song. I'm back-and-forth on whether to vote for this. I think you might have too many "Ba da da da da da da" measures. Better drums than last week, though.

King Arthur - Casiotone country vibe. I'm with you most of the time, Charles, but man. Sometimes you make it hard. The lyrics are characteristically great for you, but god, those synth violins are killing this song.

LSK and the Magical Throwaway Lyrics - Save that drum beat for a better song.

Masterhyde - Inoffensive, mostly. Your flow has an artificial feel which I don't usually like, but it was popular back in the early days of rap - Sugarhill Gang were great at these kind of schoolyard chant-y thing. These days it sounds anachronistic. For a guy rapping about writers' block, you've got a catchy chorus. You know, you'll probably take this the wrong way, but my favorite part is the monologue that you fade out on. It has a sincerety in the delivery that the rest of the song doesn't - in fact, I think your rapping actually masks the emotion in your voice. In a perfect world, it would do the opposite.

MENBAH! - You always sound like you're having so much freaking fun. Is that a mandolin hanging around in the background there, or just a guitar with a high capo? This song is kind of a throwaway, but there's a few elements that make it engaging in spite of how inane the lyrics are. One is the scansion of the lyrics. There's no mistakes, nothing that sounds like it's crammed in just for the sake of it. It just flows right, and that gives it a sense of purpose. Another thing that keeps this from feeling disposable is the sheer energy in the performance. Listen to the enthusiasm in those "Ya da-da-da"s! Very nice. Vote.

Mike Lamb - Ambient and moody. Your voice lacks confidence here. Part of that might be that it's mixed low, but it also feels like it was sung without oomph. Is that a gate on your guitar? The last chord ringing to fadeout is VERY sudden. Man, and I thought I had a short song this week.

New Result - I seriously considered entering an instrumental, too. It's tricky on Songfight, because establishing relevance to the title is much harder. Music with lyrics is subjective enough, but when you take the lyrics out (and no, I'm not really counting the robotic "The Middle Part" that comes in right around the middle), it gets downright contensious. Oh well, this is sonically interesting for about forty seconds, then fails to develop beyond that. At abotu 2:00, I got a phone call, and when the call ended, I didn't feel compelled to finish this song.

Queen Cigarette - After last week's delightful punk song, I wasn't expecting something this laid-back. You've got an enviably mellow acoustic tone in the background, but the voice overpowers the mix, making it feel amateurish. You've got the counterpoint going on quite well in the arrangement. I can dig it. Vote.

Ross Durand - Starting out with the vocal-only ashes-to-ashes trope... are we in for a country-gospel song? This would fit in perfectly with that album of demos you had me listen to earlier this year. A little bit preachy, but the old folk singers trended broad with their subject matter, too. You're following in a fine tradition - and more importantly, you're following in it quite well. I like how this track slowly builds. I might have suggested finding a way to sneak that eggshaker in sooner, but other than that, this is just fine and dandy for what it is. Vote.

Roymond - I think you've pulled off what a lot of the people above were going for. Part of that was in your mix of electronic instruments and live guitar. That fluid guitar lick matches the mood here really well, and sets the tone for your voice. The synth pad and harmonies underscore the chorus really well. Your voice grates a little bit on those repetitions of "fight fight fight fight" etc. I think your mix needs a little more low-end. The bass is mixed too softly, but that's just part of it. I keep itching for some basso vocal counterparts to add depth. That solo comes out of left field and it's awesome. Zither? Then the drums shake it up for the coda. The spoken-word part at the end may have been a bit obvious. Oh well. Voted.

Steve Durand - Nice little novelty number. You sound a little bored in the vocal. I guess that's kind of what you were going for? I'm a little surprised you were the only person who used the title to refer to hair. I don't really have a whole lot else to say here. The horns and the chromatic harp solo pushes this into vote territory. You tie the narrative up in a nice little bow with the third verse.

Tuners Union - Nice quiet intro leading into something a little more active but not necessarily more aggressive. This sets it up for the chorus to kick it up a notch without catching us completely off-guard. "The middle part of Steve" is certainly a unique take on the title. This really only comes together in the chorus. The verses feel a little off-kilter, owing to the frenetic pace of the meter, among other things. The harmonies and the increased tempo in the chorus make it great, but I spent the entire second verse just waiting for the next chorus. That's probably not good. And hey, is it just me, or was the second verse longer than the first? That's a risky gambit. Not sure it pays off here.

...aaaaand finished with about five minutes before I have to clock out. Great timing. Hey everyone! This was a great fight! Lots of keepers! I'm voting for, what, eleven out of 19 songs, not even including myself? that's crazy! Keep it up everyone!
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Masterhyde
A New Player
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:57 pm
Instruments: keyboard
Recording Method: Sonar, Acid
Submitting as: Masterhyde
Location: Atlanta, GA

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by Masterhyde »

Berkeley Socal Scene

Nice opening guitar. Vocals seem kinda pitchy, especially on the chorus. Couldn't really make out the verses. Music is cool. Would have been better to me if I could make out the verse vocals more.

Menbah
I like the guitar. Nice opening. "The epilogues' a bore" heh. Yap bidapit Bop bop bop bidapit. I can groove to this one. I may request some guitar work if you do that.

Roymond

Starts of very trip-hoppy. Like the music. Not as into the vocal style. I'm getting acousic guitar ideas as I listen to this. I haven't caught the topic yet.....still listening.....cure the world? Nice guitar work near the end. Not bad, but I'm not sure about a "middle part" reference. Feel free to smack me upside the head if I missed something obvious

Architects of Desire

Interesting. Kind of off kiltery (if that's a word) but it works. Unique vocals, unique guitar work. Like the "whoooo" part. Mmmm, Harmony.

Josh Millard

Were you drunk when you sung this? Just askin, kind of slurring words. The chorus music should be a tad lower so I can make out the chorus vocals. I think the guitar on the chorus specifically should be lower. Relatively solid, although it gets jumbled at times.

New Result

House. Oh my. Pretty good beat. Waiting for the vocals......waiting.....waiting......oh, an old text to voice generator saying "The....Middle....Part". Cute. Although I do like the music can't give a vote to a song that could have been used for ANY song fight just changing the title repeated in the song. If you ever want to release a song here with a rapper on it though, give me a call.

Steve Durand

As soon as this song started playing I stopped it about 7 seconds in because I was laughing too hard. After starting it back....still laughing. Music is kinda nice. Vocals are pitchy, but funny. "Give my mom a stroke" indeed. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the next part of the story.....seriously......what does this have to do with the title of......no........No........NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU STEVE DURAND!!!!!!!!!!!

But you're getting a vote ;)

King Arthur

Ah, King Arthur. Consort to Guenivere, Defender of Camelot, and the Song Fight reigning champion. So let's see what you got: Cool, folksy type rhythm. Seems to be mixed pretty well. Another story. Pretty good story, but you're no Steve Durand sir! I feel bad for the dog though. Nice song. I need mixing advice from you.

Masterhyde (me)

Excellente! Stupendiosity! Revolutionousness! This song was very songy! If I had to pick a song, this was one of them. The song-ish-ness of songacity was quite songarific here. There were lyrics and music and some words as well as instruments. And all at the same time! Sound was there too.


LSK

"Still aren't a piece of art": this is true. The drums are too loud, and this is coming from someone who likes Hip Hop. The lyrical content didn't really relate to the title either. It was just sort of tied in the "chorus", but it was a topic about creating the song that squashed in "middle part" in the middle. As far as the rap style......you said it all, I really don't have much to add.

Queen Cigarette

Vocals are pitchy. Acoustic guitar has a really nice groove. Bassline goes well with the guitar. I think you're singing in a different key than the music....actually occasionally you're on key and then drift off.

Capitalist Youth

A banjo. Interesting. Twangy vocals...not my cup of tea. Never heard a banjo and an obviously sequenced drum track. The musical parts seem thrown together, like the drums don't belong with everything else.

Jon Eric

Nice chord work. Also like the arrangement of vocal style with the piano notes. "Middle part", "spittle starts", "little heart"?? Are you trying to be a rapper? At any rate, nice song.

Mike Lamb

Decent guitars, "tortured heart" was waaay off key. All in all, ok.

Ross Durand

Like the guitar groove. Pitchy in a deliberate sort of way I think. Okay song.

Bachelor Police

Vocals should be a bit louder. Guitars are cool. Decent song.

Hate Noise

Ummmm......okay. Not bad, not bad at all. Lyrics were surprisingly on beat. Kind of Beastie Boys-ish. The music is pretty cool too. Errr........was the title this week "I get mad"? Okay, you've got some meta-thing going on where you changed the middle of the song. Cute. Too cute. Could have been a vote if it didn't sound like you just took a song you already did and added something to the middle of it to be relevant for the title this week. As it stands I'm thinking you did this 3 months ago as the lyrics have absolutely NOTHING to do with the title. And there's a LOT of lyrics in this song for none of them to relate to the title. Cool song though.

Bad Boys At Bat Mitzvahs

This one has a nice groove. Lyrics are....how can I say this....virtually unintelligible. The notes aren't perfect in the vocals, but I can see where it's going musically. I kind of like the idea, but to be honest it sounds like a song where you've done the music and worked out the melody but haven't written the words yet. This would probably be a vote if I could understand anything other than "deep down caught in the middle now".

Tuners Union

Unique vocal style. Like the guitars. Need to turn the vocals up, but otherwise a nice off beat song. Also needs better mixing on the chorus. But any song with a meteor reference will get a vote from me.

Votes:
Menbah, Steve Durand, King Arthur, Tuners Union, Jon Eric

Almost got a vote:
Bad Boys At Bat Mitzvahs, Architects of Desire, New Result, Hate Noise
User avatar
BBABM
Mean Street
Posts: 666
Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2010 11:34 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Voice, drums
Recording Method: Session, fruity loops
Submitting as: Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs, Fitzroy
Location: Charlottesville, Va

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by BBABM »

Masterhyde wrote: Bad Boys At Bat Mitzvahs

This one has a nice groove. Lyrics are....how can I say this....virtually unintelligible. The notes aren't perfect in the vocals, but I can see where it's going musically. I kind of like the idea, but to be honest it sounds like a song where you've done the music and worked out the melody but haven't written the words yet. This would probably be a vote if I could understand anything other than "deep down caught in the middle now".
that is pretty much exactly what i did...
i had not seen the title until like a day before the due date, so i took a half finished groove i had been working on and quickly wrote some lyrics and bust out the vocal track in 10 mins... really i was just trying to get one in. this weeks will be much better written, and actually mixed, and sung well. thanks to all for the criticism.
User avatar
joshmillard
Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitar, piano, banjo, ukulele, drums, vox
Recording Method: Garageband, FourTrack for the iPhone
Submitting as: Josh Millard
Location: Portland, OR
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by joshmillard »

Were you drunk when you sung this? Just askin, kind of slurring words.
Ha! No, just in too much of hurry with words that I'd written in such a rush that I didn't even really know how I was gonna sing them when it got to being 9:45 and I had to do my vocal take. The whole production suffers really badly from Not Enough Time—I got busy during the week with an unrelated music thing and only finally got back to this Monday morning. Smarter move would have been to just bow out but I felt like keeping myself honest. So the half-there lyrics, the bonehead guitar solo, the arrangement that doesn't seem to agree with itself all the time, and the way-too-fucking-loud guitar throughout was all kind of disappointing but predictable stuff. A miracle failed to occur.

Well, actually, the loud guitar was kind of a surprise; I got the levels wrong going in and so it was far too quiet when I listened back, so I did some blind adjustments to levels before writing that track out to mp3 at about 9:56 and apparently really overshot the mark on the gain adjustment. Another song in my growing "I should really give that a better treatment sometime" pile.
User avatar
JonPorobil
Beat It
Posts: 5592
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
Recording Method: Cubase 10.5
Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
Pronouns: He/Him
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by JonPorobil »

king_arthur wrote: Jon Eric

I'd like to see this expanded (tho' I recall you saying in the prefight
thread that you deliberately shortened it to get it recorded), maybe
bring in some strings in the middle, even if it's just an instrumental
section.
Yeah, I originally wanted this to be longer, though it was a lot easier to make the song fit into a sensible structure once I chopped it. Strings would be an interesting choice, though I'm not sure what they'd do, or how I could fit it in without the song feelning overly-long at this point.
Right after "the strings nearly snap" there's a hiss that
goes away - I don't know if this is what it is, but: just because the
singing stops doesn't mean the microphone gets turned off. A little
his on the vocal track isn't that noticeable until it suddenly stops
and starts.
Yeah, I had a constant hiss going (I even filled out the part before the vocal started, to make sure it was constant), but then I decided to apply a noise reduction to it. Apparently, it used a gate. Bah.

Thanks for the feedback!
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito

Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stubby Phillips
Somebody Get Me A Doctor
Posts: 181
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 12:22 pm

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by Stubby Phillips »

Mr. Diagnosis and trusty boombox will now fulfill their contractual obligations by presenting Part Two of this week's Songfight! Review. Prizes will be awarded based on the immediate state of my fragile psyche. Don't be alarmed if you are beset by sudden bouts of murderous or suicidal frenzy -- it's normal.

Berkeley Social Scene: I appreciate the 7/8 timing. The vox sounds like Ozzy. Elements of prog rock and adult contemporary. Good structure. The offbeat snare hits create urgency not mirrored in the music, IMO, and the snare tone doesn't fit the song somehow. I don't like the drummer's shirt, either. Little Black Boombox says the recording and playing are good. He should know -- he's heard it all (between 120Hz and 8kHz, anyway). You get a Tama tye-dye shirt, size XL, in camo colors.

LSK: The beat is the best thing about this. Sounds like somebody slamming a table and handclaps. The rest? Bah. One CD of toxic beat samples from the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra.

Architects of Desire: Man that's weird -- this started with the same beat as the last song. That's the only thing they have in common. The drums get unduly active at times, given the 'airy' feel of the music, and are a little too loud. The air is good up here -- fresh and clean. But not enough oxygen. You get one bottle of Tequila -- it'll help with the altitude effects.

Bachelor Police: The vox on this is kinda whack. It sounds like a plumber is singing. Or maybe a math teacher. Dentist? I don't know. It's uptempo and kinda happy music with sad lyrics. The dichotomy fucks with my head. The drums. They bang around too much. What's with the drums in this fight? It must be me. Think I'll concentrate on the bass from here on out -- oh, that's right -- I can barely hear any bass on these tracks. Damn you, boombox! Wait... I'm sorry, boombox. You get to pick the prize. (Boombox says you get one 'Ghost In The Machine' CD. Listen carefully to Mr. Copeland.)

Jon Eric: The chord structure/changes and sound reminds me of Billy Joel. That's good and bad, at least in the context of my musical baggage -- but this is about you, not me. You do the GnP thing pretty well, but I'm not into it, so Bah. You get a copy of "The Writer's Art". Go wild.

King Arthur: Had to settle for an accordion instead of steel, huh? It works. Everything's there and it all fits. I just don't understand why anyone would want to record a song like this when there's so much Metal and Thrash yet to be mined. You get one Gibson EH-185 plastered with Iron Maiden stickers.

Josh Millard: I like the guitar doin' the bassy lead. Sounds like G. Harrison somehow. Playing on a J. Lennon song. R. Starkey's there, too. But who's singing? Harrison Ford? Bruce Willis? But I digress. This builds to a great prolonged climax -- the best kind. But I digress. You get a recording contract with Bustanut Records.

Bad Boys: Normalize your file. But not at -6 dB. The beat is cool. The style is better than most modern 'urban' rhythmic music to my ears. It just needs some more tension/release elements and less repetition on the lyric/vox and you've got something big. You are awarded the future of music, starting... now. Go get 'em.

It's sad that 'real' drums didn't fare as well as electronic drums in this half of the fight. All you drummers listen to Stewart Copeland, Ringo Star, and Buddy Miles. Then buy a six-pack of SM 57s. And an AKG for the kick.

-Mr. Diagnosis
Last edited by Stubby Phillips on Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Enter a song? Review songs!
User avatar
roymond
Beat It
Posts: 5161
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 3:42 pm
Instruments: Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Logic
Recording Method: Logic X, MacBookPro, Focusrite Scarlett 2i2
Submitting as: roymond, Dangerous Croutons, Intentionally Left Bank
Location: brooklyn
Contact:

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by roymond »

Masterhyde wrote: Roymond

Starts of very trip-hoppy. Like the music. Not as into the vocal style. I'm getting acousic guitar ideas as I listen to this. I haven't caught the topic yet.....still listening.....cure the world? Nice guitar work near the end. Not bad, but I'm not sure about a "middle part" reference. Feel free to smack me upside the head if I missed something obvious
Don't worry, I'm never that obvious in my lyrics.

The song is about one of the victims in Afghanistan, where 10 medical workers were murdered by the Teliban. Dr Karen Woo was leading a selfless life, engaged to be married. She had a dress on order, worked in her rose garden in Kabul, and otherwise involved in the middle part of her life. The end part would come quick and violently, with no retirement, no shared adventures with her husband, no slow sunset. The original mix featured a gun shot at the end, after my spoken words, but I took that out to focus on her life, not death.
roymond.com | songfights | covers
"Congratulatons, roymond; you finally managed to write a song I don't really care for." - Märk
User avatar
BBABM
Mean Street
Posts: 666
Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2010 11:34 pm
Instruments: Guitar, Voice, drums
Recording Method: Session, fruity loops
Submitting as: Bad Boys at Bat Mitzvahs, Fitzroy
Location: Charlottesville, Va

Re: Juliet never liked her hair (The Middle Part reviews)

Post by BBABM »

Stubby Phillips wrote: Bad Boys: Normalize your file. But not at -6 dB.
i totally agree... to be honest im still kind of learning my software. hopefully, ill have fixed the volume problem that just about everyone has commented on. i only really started my own digital recording like 6 months ago, before that it was a tascam 4 track, and a lot of time, so there are a million things i don't know. time to mess with settings for a while
Post Reply