Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
- ken
- Stable Diffusion
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Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Just write it!
Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff - Berkeley Social Scene - Tiny Robots - Seamus Collective - Semolina Pilchards - Cutie Pies - Explino! - Bravo Bros. - 2 from 14 - and more!
i would just like to remind everyone that Ken eats kittens - blue lang
i would just like to remind everyone that Ken eats kittens - blue lang
- codywalkerjr
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
B.S.S- snare sounds buried a bit. Song has lots of energy and great riffing going on! Fun tune. Vote
The Chocoalte Chips- Great intro and very catchy melody! Works well with the progression. song gets more and more interesting as it goes on! cool backwards (guitar?) would have liked it to be a bit longer- vote
Doug Funnie- I like this tune. Catchy and Simple. would have liked to hear some kind of pad in there to fatten it up
Lonbobby & JC- This is cool. high quality recording in my opinion . I dont know much about production of this genre of music, seems pretty difficult. Good job-vote
the lookouts- guitar sounds a bit sloppy in the intro but sems to straighten up as the song goes on- drums dont accent the music at all, vocals are interesting. I think if there was a live drummer it could have really added more to the tune
nobody et al- Great Playing/ vocals and production. everything sounds wonderful! Guitar sounds smooth, harmonies are right on and your guitar playing is excellent in a sophisticated way. nice choice of chords. So far my favorite tune. im a huge fan of tracks with just a few things going on. The shaker at the end adds a lot- Vote
Paco del stinko- this tune is badass! the Riffing is great, Guitar work is excellent! everything flows well. i usually dont like elctronic drums/drum machines too much but you made it work. vocals are in your face with attitude!. Vote
sausage.- Nice harmonies. well built song.. I wish the vocals were a bit more distinguishable kinda seems like its too far away and a bit muddy.In my opinon the Drums sound a bit thin. bass seems a bit clangy
snappy & floyd- intro got my attention., Was that a recording of your boss from voicemail? lol fun song. The rap part isnt flowing to me. the 'beat' is interesting though
The sky looks pissed- recording is giving me a garage band feel. Drummer is not fantastic. lead guitar seems forced, not smooth. The recording quality is pretty darn rough.
The Chocoalte Chips- Great intro and very catchy melody! Works well with the progression. song gets more and more interesting as it goes on! cool backwards (guitar?) would have liked it to be a bit longer- vote
Doug Funnie- I like this tune. Catchy and Simple. would have liked to hear some kind of pad in there to fatten it up
Lonbobby & JC- This is cool. high quality recording in my opinion . I dont know much about production of this genre of music, seems pretty difficult. Good job-vote
the lookouts- guitar sounds a bit sloppy in the intro but sems to straighten up as the song goes on- drums dont accent the music at all, vocals are interesting. I think if there was a live drummer it could have really added more to the tune
nobody et al- Great Playing/ vocals and production. everything sounds wonderful! Guitar sounds smooth, harmonies are right on and your guitar playing is excellent in a sophisticated way. nice choice of chords. So far my favorite tune. im a huge fan of tracks with just a few things going on. The shaker at the end adds a lot- Vote
Paco del stinko- this tune is badass! the Riffing is great, Guitar work is excellent! everything flows well. i usually dont like elctronic drums/drum machines too much but you made it work. vocals are in your face with attitude!. Vote
sausage.- Nice harmonies. well built song.. I wish the vocals were a bit more distinguishable kinda seems like its too far away and a bit muddy.In my opinon the Drums sound a bit thin. bass seems a bit clangy
snappy & floyd- intro got my attention., Was that a recording of your boss from voicemail? lol fun song. The rap part isnt flowing to me. the 'beat' is interesting though
The sky looks pissed- recording is giving me a garage band feel. Drummer is not fantastic. lead guitar seems forced, not smooth. The recording quality is pretty darn rough.
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- Llama
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- Location: NYC
Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Hey guys! Long time no see! Apologize in advance for harshness...
Doug Funnie: I have production OCD, so I get very annoyed by the buzz. Would like to hear more bass variety. Lyrics are funny, I really like the cut aways.
Nobody et al.: I like your name. Nice guitar. Percussive elements sounds cheesy. Great voice, I'm jealous. Nice harmonies.
The Lookouts: Nice live feel. I bet you would be great at a show. Ends too quickly.
Sausage: Bass sounds super cheesy. Not a good instrument. Not a lot of variety. Great guitar playing.
Sky looks pissed: Muddy sound at the beginning. Voice is also hidden in the instrumental. Off-tune. Yelling doesn't help. Lyrics are good.
The Chocolate Chips: Nice opening, draws me in. Love it so far! Guitar is perfect. Voice is very honest and raw, but maybe a little off-key. Backwards effect is great. Oh no! It ends right as it's building up! Add an ending and go all out.
Cody Walker, Jr.: Awesome country. I wish you got into the singing part quicker. I like the chorus but I don't really like the talk verses.
Snappy & Floyd: Alright, some electronic (I'm biased to the genre). Awesome, great rhythm. Rapping is not bad, maybe some more reverb and double up the vocals (listen to some nicki minaj or eminem, they always double the rap subtly, makes a great sound). Is something wrong with the mp3 at the end or is it me? It cuts off and I can't hear the ending. PM me and send me a copy.
Paco del Stinko: Love the guitar riff, but your vocals are a little off-key. Like the lyrics. Awesome guitar playing! Want some more variety in the song.
Berkeley Social Scene: Favorite of the fight. Vote. Love the instrumentals. A lot of character and cool instruments used, especially towards the end. Cool "wall of sound".
Me: This was my first piece in a loooong time. I've been listening to a lot of dance music and "electro-pop" (The Bird and the Bee, Jem, Kate Havnevik, Gorillaz). I didn't have a lot of time and the mix I sent in is incomplete. If anyone wants the (tentative) final version, please PM me (including fight master, if you want to swap wink wink).
Thanks guys! Good fight!
Doug Funnie: I have production OCD, so I get very annoyed by the buzz. Would like to hear more bass variety. Lyrics are funny, I really like the cut aways.
Nobody et al.: I like your name. Nice guitar. Percussive elements sounds cheesy. Great voice, I'm jealous. Nice harmonies.
The Lookouts: Nice live feel. I bet you would be great at a show. Ends too quickly.
Sausage: Bass sounds super cheesy. Not a good instrument. Not a lot of variety. Great guitar playing.
Sky looks pissed: Muddy sound at the beginning. Voice is also hidden in the instrumental. Off-tune. Yelling doesn't help. Lyrics are good.
The Chocolate Chips: Nice opening, draws me in. Love it so far! Guitar is perfect. Voice is very honest and raw, but maybe a little off-key. Backwards effect is great. Oh no! It ends right as it's building up! Add an ending and go all out.
Cody Walker, Jr.: Awesome country. I wish you got into the singing part quicker. I like the chorus but I don't really like the talk verses.
Snappy & Floyd: Alright, some electronic (I'm biased to the genre). Awesome, great rhythm. Rapping is not bad, maybe some more reverb and double up the vocals (listen to some nicki minaj or eminem, they always double the rap subtly, makes a great sound). Is something wrong with the mp3 at the end or is it me? It cuts off and I can't hear the ending. PM me and send me a copy.
Paco del Stinko: Love the guitar riff, but your vocals are a little off-key. Like the lyrics. Awesome guitar playing! Want some more variety in the song.
Berkeley Social Scene: Favorite of the fight. Vote. Love the instrumentals. A lot of character and cool instruments used, especially towards the end. Cool "wall of sound".
Me: This was my first piece in a loooong time. I've been listening to a lot of dance music and "electro-pop" (The Bird and the Bee, Jem, Kate Havnevik, Gorillaz). I didn't have a lot of time and the mix I sent in is incomplete. If anyone wants the (tentative) final version, please PM me (including fight master, if you want to swap wink wink).
Thanks guys! Good fight!
- codywalkerjr
- Alpaca
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Yes this is a painfully long song. It just came to me that way. i wrote all 5 minutes of it in about 35 minutes. the chorus changes slighlty as the story progresses.Thanks for the review
- chocolatechips
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
I'm ranking these in order; favorite to least favorite. Top four get green faces & votes.
1. Cody Walker - I like the production & the instrumentation; fits the song pretty well (and it reminds me a bit of Sticky Fingers era Rolling Stones.) Speaking of The Rolling Stones the chorus kind of reminds me of them too (when they're doing their honky tonk thing.) The talky verses are pretty neat; the story is interesting. That said; this isn't the type of thing I normally listen to and it's a bit long... but I think it's good.
2. Nobody... - This is very good. Vocals are strong and inviting. Guitars sound good. I really like when the percussion comes in. On the negative side it all seems a bit too "soft."
3. Lonbobby featuring JC - This is a good time. On the negative side the bass seems a little light. On the positive side; I like the chorus "I don't feel the pain..." at 52 seconds a lot. A lot of nice ear candy in this recording.
4. sausage - Charmingly ramshackle performance & recording. I love the harmony vocals (on "come around.") The acoustic guitar tone is a bit weird but it kind of works in this setting. I like the playing a lot.
5. Berkeley Social Scene - My favorites parts of the song are the trippy guitar solo around 2:40 and the wild outro. I find the vocals a bit off putting for some reason, they have some good attitude to them but they don't sit in the mix quite right and there are times when they rub against the music in a way I find... off putting. I do find that I am enjoying the song a bit more on my second listen which is a good sign. I think the weakest part of the song is the "Beat Me Up" bit... which hurts as that's the title.
6. Snappy & Floyd - I really enjoyed the weird phone message that started it off. And the stuttering effect that drives the song is pretty sweet. I was impressed when the rapping started up at around 2 minutes (and comes back at around 4:30); good stuff. On the negative side the repeating "beat me up" in the background doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the song. And I definitely think it goes on too long.
7. Doug Funnie - Pretty cool old school rap style. It's pretty good. But I do think maybe a bit more could be going on musically.
8. Paco del Stinko - On the positive side; the guitars are strong. On the not so positive side; the mix gets a bit "crackly" at times & the vocals don't draw me in.
9. The Sky Looks Pissed - There seems to be a pretty decent song in here but the performances & the recording are so sloppy it's hard to connect with. Reminds me a bit of Weezer.
10. The Lookouts - On the good side; the acoustic guitar sounds pretty good. On the bad side; the vocals seem a bit abrasive.
~~~
I made an instrumental version of my song tonight; check it out if you're curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a88_BUC2kBk
1. Cody Walker - I like the production & the instrumentation; fits the song pretty well (and it reminds me a bit of Sticky Fingers era Rolling Stones.) Speaking of The Rolling Stones the chorus kind of reminds me of them too (when they're doing their honky tonk thing.) The talky verses are pretty neat; the story is interesting. That said; this isn't the type of thing I normally listen to and it's a bit long... but I think it's good.
2. Nobody... - This is very good. Vocals are strong and inviting. Guitars sound good. I really like when the percussion comes in. On the negative side it all seems a bit too "soft."
3. Lonbobby featuring JC - This is a good time. On the negative side the bass seems a little light. On the positive side; I like the chorus "I don't feel the pain..." at 52 seconds a lot. A lot of nice ear candy in this recording.
4. sausage - Charmingly ramshackle performance & recording. I love the harmony vocals (on "come around.") The acoustic guitar tone is a bit weird but it kind of works in this setting. I like the playing a lot.
5. Berkeley Social Scene - My favorites parts of the song are the trippy guitar solo around 2:40 and the wild outro. I find the vocals a bit off putting for some reason, they have some good attitude to them but they don't sit in the mix quite right and there are times when they rub against the music in a way I find... off putting. I do find that I am enjoying the song a bit more on my second listen which is a good sign. I think the weakest part of the song is the "Beat Me Up" bit... which hurts as that's the title.
6. Snappy & Floyd - I really enjoyed the weird phone message that started it off. And the stuttering effect that drives the song is pretty sweet. I was impressed when the rapping started up at around 2 minutes (and comes back at around 4:30); good stuff. On the negative side the repeating "beat me up" in the background doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the song. And I definitely think it goes on too long.
7. Doug Funnie - Pretty cool old school rap style. It's pretty good. But I do think maybe a bit more could be going on musically.
8. Paco del Stinko - On the positive side; the guitars are strong. On the not so positive side; the mix gets a bit "crackly" at times & the vocals don't draw me in.
9. The Sky Looks Pissed - There seems to be a pretty decent song in here but the performances & the recording are so sloppy it's hard to connect with. Reminds me a bit of Weezer.
10. The Lookouts - On the good side; the acoustic guitar sounds pretty good. On the bad side; the vocals seem a bit abrasive.
~~~
I made an instrumental version of my song tonight; check it out if you're curious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a88_BUC2kBk
Last edited by chocolatechips on Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:22 am, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Nobody-----Nice,enjoyed guitar tone,voice and selective picking. Good job.
Lonbobby-----Cool Rave music. Picture three hungover rednecks,pulling into the projects to do remodeling work in a one ton Dodge, this blaring thru blown out speakers
, it's gonna happen.
Chocolate Chip---I like this.
Lonbobby-----Cool Rave music. Picture three hungover rednecks,pulling into the projects to do remodeling work in a one ton Dodge, this blaring thru blown out speakers
, it's gonna happen.
Chocolate Chip---I like this.
- codywalkerjr
- Alpaca
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
thanks hilllbilly for your review. i'm glad you liked my tune. it is pretty damn long, longest song i've ever wrote. i usually keep my tunes under 3 minutes
Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Cody--- What the fux you want a review? I love it, Vote. even stole the wrench. Sometimes even i may have something going on an run out of time for full reviews. like tonite
- LibraryDogs
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
I tried to get into these songs in order to do a decent review, and actually pay attention to the lyrics, which doesn't come easily to me necessarily. We're all here to get better, right?
BSS - riffy electric intro, I like the solo break, it's got sort of a pentatonic feel. The chorus is a little awkward the first time, but by the end I'm bobbing my head. The synth at the end sort of comes out of nowhere. Guitarwork is pretty darn tight.
Lyrically, I'm not connecting to it. There's not much in the way of imagery to draw me in. Swearing like a sailor is not a bad one - I at least get a mental image of a drunk popeye. I'd encourage you to go in that direction more
ChocChip - There's some neat concepts here, with a sort of Flaming Lips vibe. The sweepy synth and backwards guitar parts are a nice contrast to the acoustic strumming. You knocked this out in a day? KISS principle worked in your favor.
Lyrically, it's pretty simple, and you manage to say a lot in few words, which always earns my respect.
CodyWalkerJr - Long tune, but I didn't mind a bit. Pretty straightforward progression and arrangement, but that suits things really well. Banjo and (slide?) guitar give it a nice country twang.
But the lyrics are where it's at in this tune. There was enough in the imagery and form (and deviation from it, like where he hits the guy with the wrench) to keep my interest. I seriously chuckled a couple times. I particularly liked "angrily began to clob me." I only wish there would have been a word to end the song that rhymed with "robbed me."
DougFunnie - backing track could have been a little more interesting, but the rap wasn't bad.
Lyric-wise, it's a good narrative. I can see the little scrappy kid spazzing out trying to bluff the bullies.
LonBobby - I seriously dig this track. The melody fits your chord progression in a really nice way. The chorus is cool. I like the breakdown around 2 minutes and how it grows/fades from there. I'll be grooving on this later when I'm writing SQL code.
Lyrically, I like it too. What's the "dooble from within" line? I'm missing that reference. The "novocaine" rhyme is clever too. I can see the narrator beating himself up over his internal conflict, but the beating up doesn't amount to much. Anyway that's what I got out of it. Nice tune.
Lookouts - I like how the song starts - "big fat kid" and the chorus isn't bad but then it seems like it should develop and go somewhere from there and does not.
Lyrically, I like the get-back-up-and-get-him theme, but it gets repetitive. There's no second verse or bridge to develop the theme. I'd be interested in hearing a more developed version of this.
Paco - loud, gritty and energetic as always! I like the slightly dissonant bits you throw in; keeps it from getting too repetitive. You're a pretty damn good guitar player too.
Lyrically, I'm always a fan of the three-different-scenarios-that-apply-to-the-main-theme. And all in the context of a self-destructive narrator which makes it interesting to listen to. Some good images there, but could benefit from more showing less telling.
Sausage - I like the phased bass. Then the quacky piezo-acoustic actually fits well and kicks it up a notch. The vocals come in and don't quite fit somehow (though it fits better the more I listen to the song). It either gets better or I get used to it as the song goes on.
Lyrically it's kind of fun how you dropped some other songfighters' names. I like the "sold in cans of tofu" line. Weird expression, which is why it works I think.
S&F - sample riffs are kind of cool, vocal could be higher in the mix. Rap bits go back and forth between tight and loose. Quick delivery vs legato phrasing is an interesting style
Lyrically, I'm impressed at using all the -eet words in the first rap set, but the sex focus just isn't my thing in songwriting. The rapper questing for a good beat is an interesting motif for the second rap bit, unique play on the song prompt but it lacks the cleverness and imagery of the first rap bit.
By about 4 minutes I sort of lose interest but I like the back and forth between the two MC's.
Sky - I've got no room to criticize anyone for poor production but it's distracting from the song. The acoustic guitar, electric, bass, drums, and vocals are all trying to occupy the same space in the mix. However, like somebody else said, there seems to be a pretty decent song under it. You can all play your instruments. The chorus is good; interesting chord progression there.
Lyrics-wise: The lyrics take a lot of effort to understand as the singer could use a little more diction and the vocals could be higher in the mix. Broken sidewalks covered in gray, trying not to pray is a good image. I get a theme of a crisis of faith in a breakup. Post the lyrics so we reviewers can do this justice?
Nobody - this is me. Do as I say, not as I do, heh heh. Glad you guys liked the tune.
BSS - riffy electric intro, I like the solo break, it's got sort of a pentatonic feel. The chorus is a little awkward the first time, but by the end I'm bobbing my head. The synth at the end sort of comes out of nowhere. Guitarwork is pretty darn tight.
Lyrically, I'm not connecting to it. There's not much in the way of imagery to draw me in. Swearing like a sailor is not a bad one - I at least get a mental image of a drunk popeye. I'd encourage you to go in that direction more
ChocChip - There's some neat concepts here, with a sort of Flaming Lips vibe. The sweepy synth and backwards guitar parts are a nice contrast to the acoustic strumming. You knocked this out in a day? KISS principle worked in your favor.
Lyrically, it's pretty simple, and you manage to say a lot in few words, which always earns my respect.
CodyWalkerJr - Long tune, but I didn't mind a bit. Pretty straightforward progression and arrangement, but that suits things really well. Banjo and (slide?) guitar give it a nice country twang.
But the lyrics are where it's at in this tune. There was enough in the imagery and form (and deviation from it, like where he hits the guy with the wrench) to keep my interest. I seriously chuckled a couple times. I particularly liked "angrily began to clob me." I only wish there would have been a word to end the song that rhymed with "robbed me."
DougFunnie - backing track could have been a little more interesting, but the rap wasn't bad.
Lyric-wise, it's a good narrative. I can see the little scrappy kid spazzing out trying to bluff the bullies.
LonBobby - I seriously dig this track. The melody fits your chord progression in a really nice way. The chorus is cool. I like the breakdown around 2 minutes and how it grows/fades from there. I'll be grooving on this later when I'm writing SQL code.
Lyrically, I like it too. What's the "dooble from within" line? I'm missing that reference. The "novocaine" rhyme is clever too. I can see the narrator beating himself up over his internal conflict, but the beating up doesn't amount to much. Anyway that's what I got out of it. Nice tune.
Lookouts - I like how the song starts - "big fat kid" and the chorus isn't bad but then it seems like it should develop and go somewhere from there and does not.
Lyrically, I like the get-back-up-and-get-him theme, but it gets repetitive. There's no second verse or bridge to develop the theme. I'd be interested in hearing a more developed version of this.
Paco - loud, gritty and energetic as always! I like the slightly dissonant bits you throw in; keeps it from getting too repetitive. You're a pretty damn good guitar player too.
Lyrically, I'm always a fan of the three-different-scenarios-that-apply-to-the-main-theme. And all in the context of a self-destructive narrator which makes it interesting to listen to. Some good images there, but could benefit from more showing less telling.
Sausage - I like the phased bass. Then the quacky piezo-acoustic actually fits well and kicks it up a notch. The vocals come in and don't quite fit somehow (though it fits better the more I listen to the song). It either gets better or I get used to it as the song goes on.
Lyrically it's kind of fun how you dropped some other songfighters' names. I like the "sold in cans of tofu" line. Weird expression, which is why it works I think.
S&F - sample riffs are kind of cool, vocal could be higher in the mix. Rap bits go back and forth between tight and loose. Quick delivery vs legato phrasing is an interesting style
Lyrically, I'm impressed at using all the -eet words in the first rap set, but the sex focus just isn't my thing in songwriting. The rapper questing for a good beat is an interesting motif for the second rap bit, unique play on the song prompt but it lacks the cleverness and imagery of the first rap bit.
By about 4 minutes I sort of lose interest but I like the back and forth between the two MC's.
Sky - I've got no room to criticize anyone for poor production but it's distracting from the song. The acoustic guitar, electric, bass, drums, and vocals are all trying to occupy the same space in the mix. However, like somebody else said, there seems to be a pretty decent song under it. You can all play your instruments. The chorus is good; interesting chord progression there.
Lyrics-wise: The lyrics take a lot of effort to understand as the singer could use a little more diction and the vocals could be higher in the mix. Broken sidewalks covered in gray, trying not to pray is a good image. I get a theme of a crisis of faith in a breakup. Post the lyrics so we reviewers can do this justice?
Nobody - this is me. Do as I say, not as I do, heh heh. Glad you guys liked the tune.
“We may be in the Universe as dogs and cats are in our libraries, seeing the books and hearing the conversation, but having no inkling of the meaning of it all.”
― William James
― William James
- EvelBist
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Cookie monster: If you made an album, this song would precede a rowdy rocker. You have an undeniable style, there's something distinctive about your work. The autotuned vocals are a trademark, and a good one at that. Some try to use it like you do and cant pull it off. I always note the subtle hook you put into your submissions, and this week its no different - its that synthesized "swallow" sound - like when pacman would swallow a power pill. The song doesnt overplay its hand and stays within its bounds. I dont believe its a "pop" song, its unique.
Cody: Ok, I'm listening and drinking a coke, and I find i'm taking a swig whenever you hit the breaks between the verse lines. I'm following your whole sad tale. There's a bar around here where this would go over great. No criticisms, the last line is kind of out of place, it would have made more sense to leave the story alone. Anyway, good job.
Lon&JC: Would you call this submission house, techno, disco, a mixture of those? Something else? I would say its more a techno-pop cut. And by fitting into there, it does its job well. The autotune works, the incoming/outgoing electronic rhythm section is interesting, and the song is not overly long or complex. This would go over well in a dark dance club. The last line "novacane" is too abrupt - a slow letdown would have let the dancers know the song's end was at hand.
Nobody: I used to like James Taylor, so I won't let the "used to" part of that influence this. For what you are trying for, this is nice. The story is nice and the minor 7ths showing up now and then keep me listening. But you could have taken a page from Taylor's book: when you hit that last chorus and the rhythm brushes become more prominent, go all out and fill it in with more harmonies. I hear them in there, call and echo, but how about some right alongside the lead vocal?
SLP: intro needs work, timing wrong with rhythm guitar and drums. Later on, it gets better when the e-guitar's triplets come in. Vocalist has a good voice, but is out of tune. At the risk of sounding too negative, even if the song were performed better, it would still be bad because the structure is hard to follow. Try simplfying it - verse - chorus - bridge verse - chorus. I really lost track of how many parts this had, it just seems longer than it is.
Paco: You always get on my case because I use too much reverb and delay my vocals - now its my turn to slap your face. You should have used those effects on this because its way too dry. Also youre good at adding harmonies, how about 'beat me up' with some accompaniment? In fact I cant tell if there is some anywhere. Ok, now that i've put you in your place, its on to the good. I like the doubled leads when you put them in. Its definitely got a Kiss feel to it. Thats difficult to pull off, but you have the voice for it and the driving backbeat carries it thru. But ease up on the cowbell!!!
DF: Its not what I understand or listen to, so i'll just comment on the song structure and production. It's entertaining for what it is, but again I cant get into all the macho cussing. The rapping is synchronous and carries the genre well. The structure is good and flows with the beat. Again, its not my cup of tea, but from what I have heard from radio airplay this is a very professionally done rap.
BSS: Not up to your usual standards. It comes off rather lean on the punchy side, even tho thats what you were trying to achieve. Actually, the song reminds me of punk nerdy tough guy wannabes from early 80's. The drums are out of sync. Actually, I'm disappointed. I think you need to get the chick singer back as she brings the added dimension that puts you over the top.
S&F: What's that in the intro? Someone jacking you up or vice versa? For what it is, it comes off ok once the rap starts around 2:00 or so. Actually, its quite diggable after that. Leading up to that point, the call and response "beat me up" kinda works. After the first verse, the da da da chorus is better than the first.
Lookouts: I dont know why, but the title this week has everyone running from bullies. Here we have an innocent little guitar player, proclaiming to the world that even if held down, you cant hold him back. I get that part, but how about sounding more defiant? When you wrote this song, werent you trying to convey your toughness and pride? That doesnt come across. Since the instrumentation is so minimal, its the lyrics in a song like this that have to carry the listener's interest. I was underwhelmed by your enthusiasm.
SSg: Thanks to Caravan Ray, Paco and Cookie Monster for inspiring this week's entry. I apologize for not doing the song the justice it deserved as I only had a few hours monday nite to lay this down.
Votes get the arrow.
Cody: Ok, I'm listening and drinking a coke, and I find i'm taking a swig whenever you hit the breaks between the verse lines. I'm following your whole sad tale. There's a bar around here where this would go over great. No criticisms, the last line is kind of out of place, it would have made more sense to leave the story alone. Anyway, good job.
Lon&JC: Would you call this submission house, techno, disco, a mixture of those? Something else? I would say its more a techno-pop cut. And by fitting into there, it does its job well. The autotune works, the incoming/outgoing electronic rhythm section is interesting, and the song is not overly long or complex. This would go over well in a dark dance club. The last line "novacane" is too abrupt - a slow letdown would have let the dancers know the song's end was at hand.
Nobody: I used to like James Taylor, so I won't let the "used to" part of that influence this. For what you are trying for, this is nice. The story is nice and the minor 7ths showing up now and then keep me listening. But you could have taken a page from Taylor's book: when you hit that last chorus and the rhythm brushes become more prominent, go all out and fill it in with more harmonies. I hear them in there, call and echo, but how about some right alongside the lead vocal?
SLP: intro needs work, timing wrong with rhythm guitar and drums. Later on, it gets better when the e-guitar's triplets come in. Vocalist has a good voice, but is out of tune. At the risk of sounding too negative, even if the song were performed better, it would still be bad because the structure is hard to follow. Try simplfying it - verse - chorus - bridge verse - chorus. I really lost track of how many parts this had, it just seems longer than it is.
Paco: You always get on my case because I use too much reverb and delay my vocals - now its my turn to slap your face. You should have used those effects on this because its way too dry. Also youre good at adding harmonies, how about 'beat me up' with some accompaniment? In fact I cant tell if there is some anywhere. Ok, now that i've put you in your place, its on to the good. I like the doubled leads when you put them in. Its definitely got a Kiss feel to it. Thats difficult to pull off, but you have the voice for it and the driving backbeat carries it thru. But ease up on the cowbell!!!
DF: Its not what I understand or listen to, so i'll just comment on the song structure and production. It's entertaining for what it is, but again I cant get into all the macho cussing. The rapping is synchronous and carries the genre well. The structure is good and flows with the beat. Again, its not my cup of tea, but from what I have heard from radio airplay this is a very professionally done rap.
BSS: Not up to your usual standards. It comes off rather lean on the punchy side, even tho thats what you were trying to achieve. Actually, the song reminds me of punk nerdy tough guy wannabes from early 80's. The drums are out of sync. Actually, I'm disappointed. I think you need to get the chick singer back as she brings the added dimension that puts you over the top.
S&F: What's that in the intro? Someone jacking you up or vice versa? For what it is, it comes off ok once the rap starts around 2:00 or so. Actually, its quite diggable after that. Leading up to that point, the call and response "beat me up" kinda works. After the first verse, the da da da chorus is better than the first.
Lookouts: I dont know why, but the title this week has everyone running from bullies. Here we have an innocent little guitar player, proclaiming to the world that even if held down, you cant hold him back. I get that part, but how about sounding more defiant? When you wrote this song, werent you trying to convey your toughness and pride? That doesnt come across. Since the instrumentation is so minimal, its the lyrics in a song like this that have to carry the listener's interest. I was underwhelmed by your enthusiasm.
SSg: Thanks to Caravan Ray, Paco and Cookie Monster for inspiring this week's entry. I apologize for not doing the song the justice it deserved as I only had a few hours monday nite to lay this down.
Votes get the arrow.
- codywalkerjr
- Alpaca
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
woop, read the review wrong, thought it was an extension of ther above one,hillbilly wrote:Cody--- What the fux you want a review? I love it, Vote. even stole the wrench. Sometimes even i may have something going on an run out of time for full reviews. like tonite
- codywalkerjr
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
nobodyetal wrote:
CodyWalkerJr - Long tune, but I didn't mind a bit. Pretty straightforward progression and arrangement, but that suits things really well. Banjo and (slide?) guitar give it a nice country twang.
But the lyrics are where it's at in this tune. There was enough in the imagery and form (and deviation from it, like where he hits the guy with the wrench) to keep my interest. I seriously chuckled a couple times. I particularly liked "angrily began to clob me." I only wish there would have been a word to end the song that rhymed with "robbed me."
I used a knockoff tele and did 'Pedal Steel Bends"
the banjo part was easy, barring on the 2nd and 7th fret and strumming open gave me the 3 chords i needed for this tune, occasionally would do a chromatic walkup from G to G# to A...Thanks for your review!!
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- Alpaca
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
The Sky Looks Pissed: You have the bones of a great song. The lyric is great, the singer is pushing it (in a good way), and the structure is cool and fairly interesting. All it needs is some polish/practice to tighten things up. Keep submitting...
Chocolate Chips: This is really good. I don't think the synth adds much -- in fact it takes away, especially the fast decay on the envelope generator. The vox, guitar, and drums sound great. The simple lyric is good, too -- but I question the repeated chorus every time, maybe do a few just one time instead? Great song. Vote
Lonbobby featuring JC: Cool intro. Great lyric. I like the vocal melody and voice. Changes are good. Vocal effects/sampling is a nice touch. Outro is way cool. Vote
Nobody et al: The only thing that stands out in this whole song is the higher vocal harmonies toward the end. A little off to my ear (I've just got one -- in the middle of my forehead.) Otherwise I can totally hear this recording on the radio. The song and presentation remind me of Carole King's brother. Vote
Sausage: Upbeat and jangly. A phaser that's too low freq to be funk. Good playing, melodies, and changes. The chorus has a good feel. Backing vocals help, lead needs work. The "come around" is a nice addition. Not bad at all. Vote
Snappy and Floyd: Intro cracked me up. A lot of good lyric, and PRECISE vocals. Production sounds good. Stopped at 5:33. Too long for me.
Berkeley Social Scene: A lot of stuff going on in this one, but it's fairly cohesive. Details abound, but there's little tension/release or build-up -- it just slams us right from the beginning. Maybe it's an angry song, judging from the lyric -- which might justify the barrage -- but that emotion doesn't come through in the music so much.
The Lookouts: For something (that sounds) recorded live, this is O.K., but it's so short that the story doesn't have enough exposition to draw me in completely. The vocal is good at setting a feeling of victimization, and I appreciate the simplicity of the structure. It seems that the repeated and drawn out chorus signals the lack of supporting ideas for fleshing the story out. Of course, going the other direction and using filler lyric would not have helped either. Not bad.
Paco del Stinko: I like the energy. The harmonized guitar lick is out-of-place in a good way. Changes are welcome, as are tasty little solos. Everything sounds good. Nice vox. Vote
Cody Walker Jr.: The lyric is good -- except for some of the forced rhymes. The story drags after a while, probably due to telling it 3 or 4 times. Funny that you mention "A Boy Named Sue", since this draws a lot from that country ballad (minus the resolution). Good recording of clean vocals and classically sparse instrumentation.
Doug Funnie: An interesting hybrid. Good story told in an economical fashion. The different characters and sound effects add depth in a simple way. Maybe a vote.
Chocolate Chips: This is really good. I don't think the synth adds much -- in fact it takes away, especially the fast decay on the envelope generator. The vox, guitar, and drums sound great. The simple lyric is good, too -- but I question the repeated chorus every time, maybe do a few just one time instead? Great song. Vote
Lonbobby featuring JC: Cool intro. Great lyric. I like the vocal melody and voice. Changes are good. Vocal effects/sampling is a nice touch. Outro is way cool. Vote
Nobody et al: The only thing that stands out in this whole song is the higher vocal harmonies toward the end. A little off to my ear (I've just got one -- in the middle of my forehead.) Otherwise I can totally hear this recording on the radio. The song and presentation remind me of Carole King's brother. Vote
Sausage: Upbeat and jangly. A phaser that's too low freq to be funk. Good playing, melodies, and changes. The chorus has a good feel. Backing vocals help, lead needs work. The "come around" is a nice addition. Not bad at all. Vote
Snappy and Floyd: Intro cracked me up. A lot of good lyric, and PRECISE vocals. Production sounds good. Stopped at 5:33. Too long for me.
Berkeley Social Scene: A lot of stuff going on in this one, but it's fairly cohesive. Details abound, but there's little tension/release or build-up -- it just slams us right from the beginning. Maybe it's an angry song, judging from the lyric -- which might justify the barrage -- but that emotion doesn't come through in the music so much.
The Lookouts: For something (that sounds) recorded live, this is O.K., but it's so short that the story doesn't have enough exposition to draw me in completely. The vocal is good at setting a feeling of victimization, and I appreciate the simplicity of the structure. It seems that the repeated and drawn out chorus signals the lack of supporting ideas for fleshing the story out. Of course, going the other direction and using filler lyric would not have helped either. Not bad.
Paco del Stinko: I like the energy. The harmonized guitar lick is out-of-place in a good way. Changes are welcome, as are tasty little solos. Everything sounds good. Nice vox. Vote
Cody Walker Jr.: The lyric is good -- except for some of the forced rhymes. The story drags after a while, probably due to telling it 3 or 4 times. Funny that you mention "A Boy Named Sue", since this draws a lot from that country ballad (minus the resolution). Good recording of clean vocals and classically sparse instrumentation.
Doug Funnie: An interesting hybrid. Good story told in an economical fashion. The different characters and sound effects add depth in a simple way. Maybe a vote.
Last edited by Stubby Phillips on Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:49 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Enter a song? Review songs!
- Spud
- Stable Diffusion
- Posts: 4775
- Joined: Fri Sep 24, 2004 10:25 am
- Instruments: Bass, Keyboards, eHorn
- Submitting as: Octothorpe
- Pronouns: he/him
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Wow, Stubby, amazingly positive reviews. Are you OK? Can I buy you a beer?
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- Alpaca
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Hey, Spud -- are you trying to paint me as a curmudgeon? Just like Picasso, I had my 'Blue' period -- and now I've moved on. Plus, I don't want to get beat up if I stop in at the live event!
Enter a song? Review songs!
- codywalkerjr
- Alpaca
- Posts: 159
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
thanks, musically this song is 'a boy named sue" . Similar chord progression and story the chorus melody is repetitive but it changes each time.Stubby Phillips wrote:
Cody Walker Jr.: The lyric is good -- except for some of the forced rhymes. The story drags after a while, probably due to telling it 3 or 4 times. Funny that you mention "A Boy Named Sue", since this draws a lot from that country ballad (minus the resolution). Good recording of clean vocals and classically sparse instrumentation.
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If the connection between the choruses and verses isnt clear, Then I didnt do a good enough job on the song lyrically. thx for the reveiw
- Paco Del Stinko
- Stable Diffusion
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Hi all. Thanks for the reviews and comments. I'm just hours back from vacation and haven't heard the fight yet, but will before voting is due and get some comments in. I am also a NUR EIN judge, so I'll be cruising in the fast lane. Anyway, thanks again.
Evilbist: I don't mean it as a slap in the face to comment on your reverb preferences. I've generally preferred my stuff dryer, if you can't tell. I dig your stuff and hope you stick around. Also, I lived in ABQ for near four years, Fluffy is a NM native. For what any of that is worth.
Evilbist: I don't mean it as a slap in the face to comment on your reverb preferences. I've generally preferred my stuff dryer, if you can't tell. I dig your stuff and hope you stick around. Also, I lived in ABQ for near four years, Fluffy is a NM native. For what any of that is worth.
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
- EvelBist
- Llama
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Dude - dont you know your own lyrics ... that line was plucked right out of your most recent submittalPaco Del Stinko wrote:Evilbist: I don't mean it as a slap in the face to comment on your reverb preferences.
- Paco Del Stinko
- Stable Diffusion
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
HA! And so it is. Double DUH on me!
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Your lyric kicks ass, and it was clear; my review -- not so much. I should have said: Repeating the events/chorus to the Sheriff seems like filler in an otherwise engaging story, and/or messes with the flow of time in a way that bugs me. And my "minus the resolution" comment was off -- getting arrested after all that is the punch line, after all. These are minor things. I had to dig pretty deep to find anything that didn't impress me. Guess I raise the bar higher for some people. Great song. Votecodywalkerjr wrote:
If the connection between the choruses and verses isnt clear, Then I didnt do a good enough job on the song lyrically. thx for the reveiw
Enter a song? Review songs!
- codywalkerjr
- Alpaca
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- Location: Central New Hampshire
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Stubby Phillips wrote:Your lyric kicks ass, and it was clear; my review -- not so much. I should have said: Repeating the events/chorus to the Sheriff seems like filler in an otherwise engaging story, and/or messes with the flow of time in a way that bugs me. And my "minus the resolution" comment was off -- getting arrested after all that is the punch line, after all. These are minor things. I had to dig pretty deep to find anything that didn't impress me. Guess I raise the bar higher for some people. Great song. Votecodywalkerjr wrote:
If the connection between the choruses and verses isnt clear, Then I didnt do a good enough job on the song lyrically. thx for the reveiw
thanks Stubby, But your right a country tune needs to be short sweet and easy to grasp. I Appreciate your review. I think i will be submitting this week for 7 days, just polishing off the song at the moment, it is much shorter
- Billymojo
- Llama
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Re: Write It Up (Beat Me Up Reviews)
Lacking any particular knowledge or insight, here are, without further ado, my reviews, in more or less my order of preference, though that changes with each listening.
Nobody: Wow. Beautiful song, performance and recording. I don’t usually pay much attention to lyrics, aside from interesting turns of phrase, but the line about pain and shame is deep and beautiful. Nice subtle build with the shaker and piano. Only thing I’d change is to clean up the back vox toward the end. A strong entry.
The Sky: Great song and performance. Love the vox! Not much for production values, drums particularly (are they live?). But it all works. More please.
Sausage: Great song. Very catchy. I like more with each listening. Nice use of acoustic guitar. Like last week your back vox are unusual and outstanding.
Cody: Great thing about Songfight is the variety. Love this tune. I instantly had an image of the setting in my head. Can’t decide how I feel about the sound effects. Distracted me at first, but then . . . what the heck. Why not? The length? Gee, is there a rule that a country tune can’t be over 3: 25 long? Nope.
Doug: Given that I am of an age where the only thing people my age can ever say about hip hop is “I can’t stand that rap shit,” I should not be allowed to review this. But I will. Very catchy. Stuck in my head. (Inspired a line for my entry in next week’s fight.) Fun, funny, creative and I like it.
Chocolate: This one is growing on me. Heartfelt and sincere lyric that matches the simple tune. Nice build. Like it.
Lonboddy: I’m not really up on electronica, aside from the dance/trance/Burning Man sort of thing. So this didn’t jump out at me at first. But with further listening it’s clear that there’s a lot going on here and it’s well performed and recorded. Just not my thing, I guess.
Snappy: Improves with additional listening. I like the dit-did-dit thing where the voice doubles the synth. Not really my thing, BUT WAIT!! What’s that back vox right after the James Dean lyric? Your fanboys wanna know.
Lookouts: Seed of a good tune here but needs to be completed. Seems to be well recorded. Vox well performed. Finish it!
Paco: Smokin’ guitars. The out-front snare gets on my nerves. Can you muddy it up a bit? It reminds me of a number of 60’s pop hits where the fools hit the snare on all fours instead of the backbeat. I know that’s not what you’re doing but you’re playing at such a fierce tempo that the effect is there. Composition is not memorable. Did I mention the smokin’ guitars?
BBS: This is not up to your usual high standards. It’s as if your playing harder edged, less melodic material than usual but using similar instrumentation and production that lends itself more to your pop and melodic material.
Nobody: Wow. Beautiful song, performance and recording. I don’t usually pay much attention to lyrics, aside from interesting turns of phrase, but the line about pain and shame is deep and beautiful. Nice subtle build with the shaker and piano. Only thing I’d change is to clean up the back vox toward the end. A strong entry.
The Sky: Great song and performance. Love the vox! Not much for production values, drums particularly (are they live?). But it all works. More please.
Sausage: Great song. Very catchy. I like more with each listening. Nice use of acoustic guitar. Like last week your back vox are unusual and outstanding.
Cody: Great thing about Songfight is the variety. Love this tune. I instantly had an image of the setting in my head. Can’t decide how I feel about the sound effects. Distracted me at first, but then . . . what the heck. Why not? The length? Gee, is there a rule that a country tune can’t be over 3: 25 long? Nope.
Doug: Given that I am of an age where the only thing people my age can ever say about hip hop is “I can’t stand that rap shit,” I should not be allowed to review this. But I will. Very catchy. Stuck in my head. (Inspired a line for my entry in next week’s fight.) Fun, funny, creative and I like it.
Chocolate: This one is growing on me. Heartfelt and sincere lyric that matches the simple tune. Nice build. Like it.
Lonboddy: I’m not really up on electronica, aside from the dance/trance/Burning Man sort of thing. So this didn’t jump out at me at first. But with further listening it’s clear that there’s a lot going on here and it’s well performed and recorded. Just not my thing, I guess.
Snappy: Improves with additional listening. I like the dit-did-dit thing where the voice doubles the synth. Not really my thing, BUT WAIT!! What’s that back vox right after the James Dean lyric? Your fanboys wanna know.
Lookouts: Seed of a good tune here but needs to be completed. Seems to be well recorded. Vox well performed. Finish it!
Paco: Smokin’ guitars. The out-front snare gets on my nerves. Can you muddy it up a bit? It reminds me of a number of 60’s pop hits where the fools hit the snare on all fours instead of the backbeat. I know that’s not what you’re doing but you’re playing at such a fierce tempo that the effect is there. Composition is not memorable. Did I mention the smokin’ guitars?
BBS: This is not up to your usual high standards. It’s as if your playing harder edged, less melodic material than usual but using similar instrumentation and production that lends itself more to your pop and melodic material.
"We're not building airplanes here."