It gets upset easily (Be Careful With That reviews)

[WreckdoMelle]

Thx for the review Cody, I agree the middle vox lacked punch. At the last minute I took them down a notch and the touch of compression I put on when I mixed it down buried them. Ah well, every time it's a learning experience.

Sorry about the uke, that makes me sad.

[LibraryDogs]

Nobody, et al. OK i like your clean/clear vocal and guitar 9Actually, overall production) Melody is fresh. you have a unique sound that i like. I think if you are going with the full drumset rounte, you need some Bass (Or more Bass?)guitar. the drums seem to take away from your excellent arrangement IMO. I'll give it a vote though. Congrats on the WIN!

Thanks! There was a bit of a gap between what I wanted to do and what I was able to do, heh heh.
So I had this dramatic Phantom of the Opera / Sherriff of Nottingham character in the song and a nice 12-string riff, and wanted to put a big arrangement around it.

But my bass guitar crapped out after I had done all the drum work (needs new battery/strings and a soldering job probably. Yay, Ibanez.).
So I went to use a bass vsti instead but the tone sucked so I ducked it down in the mix.

And, I couldn't get a single damn harmony to sound right. I don't know whether it was pitch or the vowel sounds not matching up or what.
Gah, you have no idea how FRUSTRATING it is to spend several hours working harmonies and not have any of them work out...

Well, actually probably MOST of you know how frustrating that is, never mind.
I forget who I'm talking to here.

So, there would have been bass, and there would have been LUSH background vocals.
And probably more electric guitar than just in the bridge (it was trampling the 12-string). But I overreached.
blah blah excuses, excuses. </whining like a noob>

A djembe would be a neat addition to my arsenal for sure. Or a cajon, or a set of congas. When the money comes.

Oh and incidentally I chose my words poorly in my review of your tune. I said I was a "much bigger" fan of your alt-country stuff which was sort of a backhanded compliment. I should have just said I was a big fan of your alt-country stuff and left it at that. It was cool to hear you doing something different this week (Sausage too).
Experiments --> Growth

Bummer about your uke.

[Billymojo]

To: Songfighters
From: Dumbass

I can't get a good snark on unless somebody shows me how to do that thing where you include a quote from a prior post in your post. An assist please. Thanks.

[LibraryDogs]

To: Songfighters
From: Dumbass

I can't get a good snark on unless somebody shows me how to do that thing where you include a quote from a prior post in your post. An assist please. Thanks.

If you're logged in, there's a button labeled "Quote" in the top right hand corner of each post.
If you click it, it will default the person's post into your reply.

Snark away!

[mrbeany]

Acapella Annie : I totally should have submitted an entry for this fight! Here's a word of advice, until you become awesome you might want to keep them short. It was a little long. We all start somewhere, and the gods know I'm right there with you. (There is a reason the songs I've submitted have all been a minute long.) But seriously, some of the folks here have done really awesome stuff with just their voice. That said, there's software you can use -- some free -- to make music if you don't play an instrument. The goal is to be awesome. There are a lot of ways to get there but -- unless you're already awesome -- they all involve learning new skills.

The Anchorage Accord : This was good. Vote. Only thing I noticed was that you chewed your "you" at least once -- first one around the 1:00 mark. (You enunciated "guilt you carried" like "guilt chew carried".) Could you post your lyrics? I couldn't quite make them all out. (I've mentioned I have some minor hearing loss.)

Brown Word and the Big Whine : Between last week and this week, I'm interested in what you'll do in the future. This week it was interesting, but I didn't dig it as much as last week.

Cody Jr. & Ladies Night : Is that a kazoo? Yes, it's mentioned explicitly. Oh, now a uke. Interesting. I'm not sure it worked for me.

DJ Ranger Den : I liked it. Vote. I'd read the words lyrics before I listened to it. The lyrics made me think a little of the fairy tale "Bluebeard" of which there are a couple variations. (Not unsurprisingly, not all of them feature a fairy -- in the shape of a key -- that would befriend a man who kills his wives.)

Dr Octagon : With practice you may find you can do better with these sorts of time constraints. That and you may have wasted time you can use for additional planning. While a smart phone makes it easy to write or record an early idea while you're commuting, even without a smart phone people did similar things with small tape recorders.

A Fluxus of Weasels : I couldn't make out most of the lyrics. Was there a problem with the mix? It seemed to be loud in the upper frequencies, which seemed to pan out when I normalized it.

The Kenzie Chickens : If you're going to walk through your instruments/musicians, you should at least call them out by name. If they're all you, it would only make it more awesome. As it was it felt padded... but then what do I know, I'm known to submit one minute songs.

Krautnuck : I like the sound. It gets a vote. I'm not sure I quite understand what you mean by the lyrics. I think I get it. It seems to be organized in a point/counterpoint, but I'm not sure it's coming across that way. I don't know, maybe it is just me.

Mickey Skylark : Words that were easy to understand... but not particularly compelling. Perhaps that's harsh, I've got some genre bias and that's not helping things. The vocals seem... I'm not sure, sort of harsh? I don't know if it's a result of a cheap mic or it needs compression or what.

Nobody, et al. : I really enjoyed the lyrics. I have a penchant for super villains. Nicely done. Vote.

Paco del Stinko : The mix seemed off this week. The drums -- in particular -- seemed to be loud in the upper frequencies. ReplayGain scanning resulted in -8.97 dB, after which it was a lot easier on my ears.

Pigfarmer Jr : Your lyrics are super cute. Simple with a definite folk/country vibe.

sausage : If you don't watch your levels, you should at least do a normalization pass before you submit. It was quiet, and normalization rightly increased the volume. Okay, the mix is generally a little off. The electric guitar sounds like it should be mixed similarly to the vocals, but it is quite a bit louder. The vocals are a little muddy but the electric guitar around 1:45 is nice and bright.

sonofsupercar : Did you post lyrics recently? I can't make out the words. Something about lemonade? I like the sound, but not enough for a vote.

WreckdoM : I have a baby, and I have fed him chocolate. The lyrics were cute. (I don't recommend feeding your baby hot chocolate, though.) Vote.

[LibraryDogs]

Nobody, et al. : I really enjoyed the lyrics. I have a penchant for super villains. Nicely done. Vote.

Thanks - it was fun to write.
Villains are great to write because they're the protagonist of THEIR story.
The best ones you can sympathize with, even if you cheer when they lose.

On a similar note, have you read "Soon I Will be Invincible" by Austin Grossman? Awesome book, easy read.
Based on your last song I think you'd get a kick out of it.

[RangerDenni]

mrbeany.

You have just made my whole life meaningful today.
I'm putting a link because it's relevant, as per your Bluebeard comment.

This was written as a prequel piece (just for my own amusement) for this tune, that I wrote for another contest, long ago.
(well, 2010ish, but in Den recording years that's ages!!)
All my songs are about characters, and they all connect in some way to pieces of my other work, even if only in my head - or somewhere on a timeline:
http://denisehudson.bandcamp.com/track/ ... fu-version

For a while, I toyed with the idea of doing a Bluebeard musical. It still sits in my mind somewhere, sometimes...
As personal backstory, I became interested in the Bluebeard story after reading a book called 'Leaving My Father's House' by Marion Woodman (oddly relevant to the current title...)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0877738963
(I LOVE synchronicity!)

[hoops]

Dr Octagon : With practice you may find you can do better with these sorts of time constraints. That and you may have wasted time you can use for additional planning.

I'm actually pretty experienced with short time constraints. The problem was not in finding time during the week but in not deciding to enter until literally 90 minutes before the deadline. Although this is not one of my stronger songs, even for a quickie, I did manage to write lyrics and music, record ('real') drums, bass guitar, lead and backing vocals, piano, guitar and organ (the latter sadly almost entirely lost in the rushed mix), mix and master, encode to mp3 and post all within the 90 minutes. I think I did a reasonable job under those constraints but, as I said in the lyrics, I'll try to do better next time

As for posting as Dr Octagon, I chose the name in the final few seconds before I submitted, just off the top of my head. I literally didn't have time to google it and see that it had already been used as a band name. I won't use it again. I may use a variety of names (that's okay, right?) but my main 'band' name, which I will use here when I'm pleased with something, is 'hoopshank'. I've been a regular participant in FAWM and 50/90 since 2007 and am a formerly-professional songwriter and musician with a lot of experience. This, however, is my first songfight, though I tried to enter in Jan 2007 ('Convalescence') but wasn't included for some reason (probably encoded at too-high a rate). I also provided drums, bass, piano, organ and lead guitar for the Mickey Skylark entry this week. I've collaborated in FAWM and 50/90 several times with Mike ('Mickey') and also with other songfight regulars Pigfarmer Jr. and Johnny Cashpoint.

Anyway, hi all! Thanks for the generally positive comments so far.

[mrbeany]

On a similar note, have you read "Soon I Will be Invincible" by Austin Grossman? Awesome book, easy read.
Based on your last song I think you'd get a kick out of it.

I will have to look for it. Thanks!

[mrbeany]

You have just made my whole life meaningful today.
I'm putting a link because it's relevant, as per your Bluebeard comment.

That is totally awesome.

I was sure it was actually going to be about the key to a person's heart, trust and intimacy.

This was written as a prequel piece (just for my own amusement) for this tune, that I wrote for another contest, long ago.
(well, 2010ish, but in Den recording years that's ages!!)
All my songs are about characters, and they all connect in some way to pieces of my other work, even if only in my head - or somewhere on a timeline:
http://denisehudson.bandcamp.com/track/ ... fu-version

That is great! I have a penchant for fairy tales and that was nicely adapted.

I've heard some of your songs for that contest, I think. (There are sites which I download a sample with "plans" to come back to download more after a taste. Sometimes it can be years before I go back. That was the same contest you wrote "Invisible Girl" for, right?)

For a while, I toyed with the idea of doing a Bluebeard musical. It still sits in my mind somewhere, sometimes...
As personal backstory, I became interested in the Bluebeard story after reading a book called 'Leaving My Father's House' by Marion Woodman (oddly relevant to the current title...)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0877738963
(I LOVE synchronicity!)

You'd be surprised what you can get by with in the context of a "single" song. Ben Krieger's "Robot Candidate" and "Cable Beach" are both basically small multipart rock operas. They're each ~15 minutes, so they're small for rock operas but long for Song Fight.

I'm in to fairy tales because they're cool. That and I've tried my hand at writing a fantasy novel (bordering on urban fantasy) so keeping up on the classics is a part of research. (I wrote it as part of NaNoWriMo 2010. It needs editing, but I like it enough I'll probably get around it it eventually.)

I don't know about synchronicity. It seems to be something believed by people unable to fully accept magic. (I'm a nontraditional polytheist. I don't believe in reality so much as layered interconnected deities overlapping in time and space.) I mean, I've had dreams in which I've had conversations with people I've never met about the sorts of relationship we would have after we eventually met. That is to say... in the world I live in it is very possible you and I hung out and chatted about the song and/or Bluebeard in a dream and neither one of us can recall it clearly.

[mrbeany]

I'm actually pretty experienced with short time constraints. The problem was not in finding time during the week but in not deciding to enter until literally 90 minutes before the deadline. Although this is not one of my stronger songs, even for a quickie, I did manage to write lyrics and music, record ('real') drums, bass guitar, lead and backing vocals, piano, guitar and organ (the latter sadly almost entirely lost in the rushed mix), mix and master, encode to mp3 and post all within the 90 minutes. I think I did a reasonable job under those constraints but, as I said in the lyrics, I'll try to do better next time

Holy crap. Literally from no plan to enter to submitting at the deadline in 90 minutes with that many physical instruments...

That's impressive.

I was really expecting it to be more of a "I'm planning to submit an entry this week. I won't have time to record except for 90 minutes next week. I'm going to sit on my hands doing nothing until then." sort of thing. But that's a reflection on me, I'm prone to procrastinate so when I see people talk about not having time my first thought is they've procrastinated, too.

[hillbilly]

Cody and ladies-- love it, Hot Pants and I Aint Drunk. keeper, vote.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Pigfarmer Jrguitar solos seem a bit cheesy. But you didnt hit any sour notes.

... for a change.

ty

[Anchorage]

be_careful_with_that/anchorageaccord

This was good. Vote. Only thing I noticed was that you chewed your "you" at least once -- first one around the 1:00 mark. (You enunciated "guilt you carried" like "guilt chew carried".) Could you post your lyrics? I couldn't quite make them all out. (I've mentioned I have some minor hearing loss.)

I wasn't familiar with the term "chewing" but thanks for pointing that out. I'll be watching my vocals from now on
My nose was a little stuffy when I recorded the lyrics and it comes through in a few parts.
I posted the lyrics in the appropriate thread.

Thanks again for all the feed back. This is a pretty nice community.

[nyjm]

Since there are at least a couple of gems in this fight, I may get around to reviewing.

In the meantime, IN RE: Bluebeard:



French Feminist takes on traditional tales FTW.

And if that tickles your fancy, you'll love Sleeping Beauty:



So not your mother's fairy tale!

[Mr. Car]

sonofsupercar : Did you post lyrics recently? I can't make out the words. Something about lemonade? I like the sound, but not enough for a vote.

Lyrics are now up. UFO crashes on ranch. Classic muse.

As an aside, the vox is a shitty scratch track and you would all be correct to summarily pan it's performance and execution.
I just couldn't sell out for this one.

[EvelBist]

sausage : If you don't watch your levels, you should at least do a normalization pass before you submit. It was quiet, and normalization rightly increased the volume. Okay, the mix is generally a little off. The electric guitar sounds like it should be mixed similarly to the vocals, but it is quite a bit louder. The vocals are a little muddy but the electric guitar around 1:45 is nice and bright.

cool. only excuse is this is the very first time i used reaper+quad capture+addDrums ... am checking for my normalization button now, am definitely in need of one for daily use.

[j$]

Reviews will come later, but Mr.Hooptagon - I love your song and it's sad to hear you going all meta and apologetic at the back end. next time please sing about Unicorns shopping in Wal-Mart instead, if you want to win the Americans over

[nyjm]

A quick plea to please post your lyrics here.

It seems like we have a lot of newcomers in this fight. Welcome! Come on down to the Introductions forum and, you know, introduce yourselves.

Acapella Annie
/// personal positive bias: more female artists! welcome and please come back ///
+++ there's the germ of a nice song here +++
+++ "let's mess this up with something like love" is a damn good line +++
--- purely acappella songs need to have a stellar melody and performance that this offering lacks ---

The Anchorage Accord
+++ fluide glaciale atmosphere +++
+++ vocal change up for the third verse +++
/// the vocal delivery borders on the overwrought, but thankfully doesn't go over the edge; I would have liked a little more variation ///
VOTE for songwriting excellence

Brown Word and the Big Whine
+++ wild electronica groove. i love that slinky synth line +++
+++ "oh, be careful with that" i can totally see the sultry wink you would give with that at a live performance +++
/// not sure about that noise explosion at the end of bridge; maybe I'm too familiar with that synth tone; maybe it's a hair too loud ///
VOTE for being deliriously different

Cody Jr. & Ladies Night
+++ sounds like you had fun writing and recording this +++
/// this needs more bass and it needs to be a hella lot more funky ///
--- too bare bones; the lyrics are simple and cliched, a paradigm that has its niche, but you need to compensate for that with a driving groove that this composition lacks ---
--- "booty" is funny once, maybe twice. this is booty abuse; don't abuse the booty ---

DJ Ranger Den
+++ lovely piano +++
+++ channeling a Tim Burton Nightmare Before Christmas vibe +++
+++ melody +++
+++ crooning. it's no secret you have a great voice, but such command and expressiveness is always impressive +++
+++ lyrics capture a melancholy portrait wonderfully +++
VOTE for making me smile, cry, sigh, and sing along all at once

Dr Octagon
--- singing in the bathroom ---
--- meta song fail: don't apologize, be awesome ---

A Fluxus of Weasels
/// this is supposed to rock. speed that shit up! ///
--- buried vocals ---

The Kenzie Chickens
+++ instrument tones +++
/// there's a hell of a lot of reverb here; i understand going for a live vibe, but how does that help this song? ///
--- meta fail; don't waste time introducing the band: get to good stuff! ---

Krautnuck
/// heh. funny bandname ///
+++ pre-chorus melody +++
/// with this musical mood you've created, i wish there was more snarl to the vox and more dynamics in the composition as a whole; it needs to ebb and swell more ///

Mickey Skylark
+++ boppy groove +++
/// melody (and tone, kind of) from a 1960's Disney instructional short ///
--- fluffy but neither novel nor sly ---

Nobody, et al.
+++ pretty +++
+++ you have an effortlessly strong voice; i'm jealous +++
/// this is a damn creepy love-triangle story, or a psychotic hostage situation ///
+++ dynamics +++
+++ effective minimalist percussion +++
VOTE for overall excellence

Paco del Stinko
+++ love that reverby guitar tone +++
+++ bridge +++

Pigfarmer Jr
+++ chord progression +++
+++ chorus +++
--- lyrics are kind of obvious, if heartfelt ---

sausage
--- vox in the bathroom ---
--- chorus ---
/// this melody is very, very simple; the song needs to have something else in order to maintain the listener's interest; i would have gone full-bore Trent Reznor with this ///
+++ love that delay-saturated guitar solo +++

sonofsupercar
+++ if Tool were a garage band, this is what it would sound like +++
+++ concept and story +++
/// there's no need to label the chorus; but I like the idea of a background vocal bit; do something more with that ///
VOTE because this is flat-out awesome

WreckdoM
/// ahahaha. i totally heard "never shank a baby" at first ///
+++ WreckdoM Brand [tm] weirdness +++
--- chocolate variations ---

[Billymojo]

“We’re not building airplanes here.” Fred Ohlmann

Fred was a shirt tail relative of mine. He used to say this to kids, grandkids and whoever else was involved in a project when things didn’t go as planned. Meaning that it’s OK to make mistakes. Makes me wonder how many breakthroughs in art and science were the result of mistakes. I say this to myself all the time now.

And now on to the reviews.

Acapella Annie -- Keep writing, singing, recording and submitting. That’s how we get better. BTW, you picked a difficult format, that a cappella.

Cody -- Cody Walker, Jr., breaking through the evil of genre boundaries with a single chord. Don’t get me ranting on the issue of genres, the synopsis being that genres are for people who sell music, not for people who make music. Fun tune, not taking itself too seriously, well recorded. The uke is a fine touch. And the North Mississippi hill country drum riff kills me.

Wreakdom – Once I said to a young lady something along the lines of, “I don’t know how to explain.” She replied, “Try words.” I don’t have words to describe your tune. That’s no knock on the tune, but an admission of my failings as a wordsmith. And I don’t want to trivialize your tune with a comment even more inane than my usual mishmash.

Mickey Skylark -- This took me right back to elementary school and films of Jiminy Cricket singing, “I’m no Fool.” Impeccably recorded and mixed.

Pigfarmer, Jr. -- Your tune sounds like it was written and recorded in twenty minutes, before you had a chance to get second thoughts and pretty it up or make it more clever. So what you’re left with is a raw and totally sincere love tune. You can’t beat sincerity.

Krautnuck -- Strong beat, repetition and steady build results in a powerful tune. Ominous and slightly scary yet sonically pleasing.

Paco -- Beautiful vibrato guitar. And I love the Fistful of Dollars feel that starts at :22. After listening to your tunes for a few weeks I’ve grown accustomed to your vocals. Well mixed. Nuthin’ not to like here.

DJ Ranger Den -- Such a beautiful tune. The vocal is far from technically perfect but, based on your other performances, it was intentional.

Sausage -- Somethin’ new. Cool. And there’s a sound in there that makes me wanna go out to the garage, grab me a crosscut saw and play a few riffs.

Anchorage -- Oh my but this is dark and lovely. Vocal is emotionally compelling. One of the more melodic uses of synths that I’ve heard in a while. Nice ending.

Dr. Octagon -- First rate backing track. Are those live drums? No, this was not painful to listen to.

Sonofsupercar -- Another fine tune from you guys. Love your vocals. Mix is dull somehow that I can’t explain; maybe something missing at the top end?

Nobody, et.al. -- Musically not quite as damn perfect as last week. But another beautiful tune. Lyrics starting at “standoff” reminded me of the old days when I had bouts of, ahem, poor judgment. From the board it sounds like recording did not go smoothly. I still look forward to hearing some ensemble vocals from you.

Brown Word -- Catchy tune. I love the way the synth works off the vocal kinda like a blues number. Assertive and bold yet coy vocal. Middle section was not sonically pleasing to my ear but coming back with the starting groove souped up a bit is a nice touch.

Fluxus of Weasels -- Sound is overall just too harsh on my ears. But listening again I realize there is a very pop sounding tune underneath it all. If that was intentional, good on ya. If not, well we’re not building airplanes here.

Kenzie Chickens -- Me. Still revisiting those soul grooves of my distant past.

[RangerDenni]

Billymojo, and other Vocal critiquers.
EXCUSE NUMBER 83: this was a dash off based on a patch composition scratch track. I was also focusing most of my attention of rd. 6 of nur ein (should have perhaps focused all attention on it but this had to come out!).
I've tried to cut a technically perfect vox before. Long notes are not a great friend of mine. If you can bear it, The Billy and the Psychotics 'Occupy My Heart Entry' is stellar until the chorus and then I hit those long notes and it's "oh dear sweetie, SHUT UP!"

I'm working on this. It's getting better and better. You're just gonna have to hear some drowned cat till we get there I'm afraid. Sorry y'all get to be my guinea pigs. X

[RangerDenni]

ps. reviews forthcoming