Okay. Well. I'm just gonna call it like I see it now, and it's y'all's own damn faults. I'm gonna sit here and eat gummy bears and a chocolate bar with bacon in it. Because if you are going to leave things lying around the house, then those things are gonna get eaten.
Oh, and if the reviews are too long, or too conversational, or if one is longer than another one, well, then that's just too bad as well. this is Me, un-cut then. Okay now. Off we go (this is me being a Grump!)...
First of all, boo to the smiley limit. What shall we do? What is a nice word we can use to Thwart It? {Sea Urchin = illegal smiley}. There. That'll do. For now, we'll top our limit.

(1)
CARAVANRABBOT
This was creepy and confusing like Uncle Shelby's ABZs. I'm a fan of Caravan Ray, and this was solidified into a certainty when he should have come in a close second in the Cassettes round of Nur Ein but instead got brutally robbed.

(2). Now, I know JoAnn from the {sharply-indrawn-breath} Spintunes crowd, and her wacky politics (sorry... NOT!) are more palatable with a nice refreshing CRay. This will stick. For a while. Of course, I'm a fan of the CRay vocal - it's a staple for me now, and this is a really good collab for JoAnn because her lyrics are often pretty decent.
TUNERS UNION
that is a sweet organ you have there. that is not, however, what She said, because that bass drum was a little too much for Her (me) with the snare ka, ka-THWACK!... in the mix. Your noises are always really cool though, with your odd combos, jaunty lyrics, and blendy harmonies. it's a little too skill-filled to be hipstery music. But if you came to the mastering studio we used to live in and one of you were wearing a bowler hat or carrying a turtle, I wouldn't be too surprised. I don't want to like you because you keep not really doing it for me, but then you are doing SOMETHING for me, so I turn your song on, and stick with it. I have a grumpy soul, really. I think you're growing on me like a weird lichen. I should just go ahead and like you. Your vocals will probably end up winning me over for you.
FOOBAR
this is going into the red a bit when the chorus soars in and it a little too vampiric and schmarmy for me. but there's really nothing wrong with it except for the over-air-yness of the synth. The piano, however, I really like. And there's something about your vocal that has an "I'm too sexy for your shiiirrrrt / so sexy it hurrrrts" quality I kind of am squirching around in my chair to. So yeah, that. "Happy, happy, happy?" Really? Yeah, okay. That's fine. I can't say crap, can I? It's kinda fun, I s'poze.
DJ RANGER DEN
I'm pretty proud of my ridiculous nonsense this week. Really, I'm kinda lucky I can get away with this shit, or so I think .... Sigh. It's a nice change from my emo whiny pants thing at least, which is like ... SNOOZEVILLE, at least to me. Someday, perhaps I will be able to write more consistent songs... normal songs: songs with 3 verses, choruses, and a bridge which does not make people fall asleep. I mean, without the assistance of BLT. (jaunty Sea Urchin Grinning) I'm glad last week's was catchy. I know because Paco told me so.
ICE WEASELS
Your first line ("Every day is ripping three more stitches out..." and the fact that you are called 'Ice Weasels' wins you EVERYTHING. You have this vocal though that I want some other sort of instrumentation to be happening to. Perhaps some less synthy piano, and perhaps something in more of a musical theater setting and not electronica or a pop song setting. This is too Atari-ish. I don't know why I am putting you in a musical in my mind. Possibly because your melody is so very tuneful. I wonder how this exact melody would sound in another genre. Am tempted to experiment with it, particularly with all those choir-ful parts at the end. Hmmm.
GREG BOETHIN
Beginning was great, then I started riding a horse and wanted some smoother parts behind it like an organ or another guitar like an electric or something... I also wanted some harmonies from you, especially in the chorus and the bridge. I've spent enough time in honky tonks to have wanted that pedal steel or fiddle to kick in and to have known you could have hammed up your vocal up a bit more... maybe not been so straight up. You have a good voice. There weren't any one liners that popped out at me, but your chorus was catchy and this was straight and sweet. This is nice. This is nice.
GLENNY
I should probably put out my reviews from last week retroactively because you would notice that you've been growing on me steadily and I'm becoming kind of a Glenny fan. I think it's actually your vocal that's doing it for me. You have these complicated arrangements and these fun instrumentations that you pick out, but the way that you arrange yourself into things is really doing what you have to work with a lot of justice and you just go for it. I, of course, like this. Sometimes, you weird me out and it's never really perfect, but I think that's kind of part of its charm. Can't really deny the genius of things. Like the mad scientist of cool, or something. (SMILING SEA URCHIN, even though I WANTED a REAL SMILE with sunglasses, dammit!)
SOMEBODY BY HIMSELF
oh. my. god. your voice! (goes to look, because I think I remember reading your lyrics). Oh. clever. You're Nobody, et al. Yeah. I need to put last week's reviews out too. I "loved your voice" then too. Yeah. I'm annoying (goes back to listening...this review is stupid ...) This song is really nice and I can't really think of anything bad to say about it except that it's well recorded and I'm getting kind of lost in the talk-y-ness of it and perhaps it's a bit coffee shopp-y and earnest. Or maybe I'm just bitter and have been longing to say this to a perfectly nice guy who didn't do anything wrong because when I write girl and guitar songs people tell me I'm Twee. #bitter Look, you're a really good lyricist. I'm getting old and it sucks. I'm gonna go make spaghetti now.

(<-I left a real one here for you, #3) None of this is your fault. Go sing your nice song. I will be over here learning to record... *sniff* (mock-sad sea urchin)
BILLY AND THE PSYCHOTICS
This was weird. This is what happens when Chris listens to Helmet (is that what that screamy band was called?) and tries to tell me what to do and I practice the same Bach prelude all week and would rather write lyrics about the crime dramas we caught up on this week than hear "this goes there / that goes here." whateverlybrothers. I will say that I do have this secret hope that people have to listen to this, and THEN the DJ Ranger Den song right after it, because this is me singing, and then that's me again, and I think it's hysterical because that's just so twisted. This is what I do to amuse myself when I wait for the laundry to dry. (sillySmilingSEAUrchin)
PS. We desperately need Paco. I'm not just being a shmoe and saying that. (another sea urchin-y smile)
SKADADDLE
what a pretty sound! how does that happen!? I want to make that sound!
I really love this song

(4)
By about 1:20ish I want more layering. I'd of course slap some vibraphones in there. I think the snare-esque sound is a bit box-itty, but it's got a bit of charm to it too. It's both dramatic and intimate. It's just that the lick goes on for so long that it needs some ins-and-outs to make it more swishy. then at the end another hissy texture comes in and it's just real abrupt. But this is really nice, over all and the vocals have a real on the beach-next-to-a-light-house flavor.
PACO DEL STINKO
this is weird and sweet and i love the flute-y sounds that go squirrely at the end bits. It's really intricate and sounds like something that you would hear at a Renaissance Festival of Rock and the modes you picked to illustrate certain ideas were perfect. Something about the ride cymbal stuck out to me but this is a Nit Picky Thing and perhaps only jumped because it was texturally different from the rest. It's always interesting to me how you pronounce things and I like hearing you sing anything.
BERKELEY SOCIAL SCENE
There are a few of you guys that pronounce things or emphasize syllables or phrases in ways that make me tilt my head to the side. Not that it's wrong, just different from me. Hmm. Here it was "RE-mark-A-BLE person." Something about the tuning is bothering me, but I don't know what it is, but this is really hooky and catchy and has a really cool vibe and I always like the drumming (even when you are tricky and throw in a curve ball and someone else has drummed!). You're all really good and versatile. The solos are good always and this one doesn't disappoint although the end struck me as abrupt and strange and led me off a cliff and then verse-so-sudden. This would fit well 3/4 into a set. Not quite one of your hits but better-than-a-filler for sure.
Okay. That is all I think. I will finish the others reviews from last fight and perhaps post them, if it is not too big a faux pas to do so. That is all for now, hopefully these were not too bitchy. It was a good enough fight so I didn't have to get out The Stick Of Ornery-ness. Hmmph.
PS. They said I STILL had too many smileys. How is this possible!
"Really interesting how the point you’re making slowly emerges like Martin Sheen from the mud in Apocalypse Now..." ~j$