I'm afraid not (We Are All Made of Strings Reviews)

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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erik
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I'm afraid not (We Are All Made of Strings Reviews)

Post by erik »

fray
n : a noisy fight [syn: affray, disturbance, ruffle]
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thehipcola
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Post by thehipcola »

awesome thread title and opener Erik!
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Post by MintyHandy »

Aye. I loved that joke when I was five. Even though I didn't know what a bar was.
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Post by nyjm »

mmm... reviews...

battle cry creek
- pretty, but a little repetitive; that one constant beep gets grating; you can't really sustain this for 6:30
- i'd like to hear more vox
- less than three minutes in, there's an interesting little break, but i'm already bored
- an interesting idea that should be about 1/4 of the length

bridget jones and the blue state momos
- love the name
- your voice seems a little flat and the melody is kind of sing-songy; i lose some words
- i really like the chorus harmonies and lyrics
- do something to differentiate the 1st and 2nd verses

calque (aka nyjm and niveous)
- a big hand to niveous for some cool rumbling there in the background for me to bury with mediocre guitar work and to the famous nataly, creepy as always
- i really like the lyrics for this; free-association poetry at its bleeding best
- have some rhythm problems, especially early on; i could have tightened this up more, but part of me likes the idea that this piece teeters on the edge of self-destruction. it's like stumbling through tar.

desolation radio
- great beginning with that bass thrum
- good kick in at 1:56
- i would like the vox to be a little clearer, but the grumble is pretty cool
- it never really takes off, but i like it

dj dan werkenhaus
- good guitar riff
- lyrics lack a little prosody, and the falsetto is awful
- love the idea: a song about string cheese, but not without a bit of depth, especially at the beginning

ice weasels
- kind of cute, very catchy verse
- good melody for the title
- now i get it! haha! string theory! haha! i wonder how many people here know that theory of physics...
- just the right length

matthan minster
- bring the vox up in the mix a little bit
- good harmonies
- the panning in the mix is really effective
- this kicks in nicely

minty handy
- i always look forward to what fun stuff you dish up each week; this is no exception: love the voice and the lyrics
- hey! more string theory!
- i really like this music

thornberry
- oooh. rock out. this is shaping up to be a really good fight
- nice guitar noodling, but why is this called "we are all made of strings" (aside from the strong guitar presence)?

tonamel
- another instrumental? no, just takes it time getting to the lyrics
- i like the fuzzy, crackling in the background, and the low guitar melody
- the lyrics lack prosody, the vocal melodies sound a little forced

wow, this was quite a good fight. thanks everyone.
Last edited by nyjm on Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:15 am, edited 2 times in total.
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6 minutes

Post by Battle Cry Creek »

someone says to BCC "that's it! no more john coltrane for you mister...6 minute soloing indeed!"

I recommend a steady diet of the ramones...a perfect discography of 2 minute songs...
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Post by HeuristicsInc »

Heh, I told that joke to my niece and nephew at Easter and they asked me to repeat it a couple times. Heh.
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Post by Niveous »

Niv's review paragraph

Yeah, new titles and another chance to ramble on about them. First up, the Strings fight. And let me start off by saying how bad I think the art is for this one. If I was art inclined, I would've went for a picture of the Fates perhaps. Or maybe a sewing machine making a DNA pattern. It's a spool of thread. Uck. First up Minty Handy. Let's see, there's fast talking in a LaTour voice. It's basically the Noah MacLaughlin from last week on a different theme and with some more MIDI. Thankfully this is a short one. I love experimental but not when it's this boring. Next, Thornberry. I'm digging the rock so far but I know this is almost over already. Uh-oh. I smell instrumental. Yep. And that gets no vote from me but at least the chops were decent. And it was short enough that the repition didn't get annoying. Next Desolation Radio. Good name. Sounds very gothy. It was looking pretty dismal at first. But just before the 2 minute mark, this song got some punch to it. Sometimes it's hard to find a balance between gothy and energetic. The Cure pull that off. So do lots of others. This just escaped sounding bland and tiresome like a bad Black Tape for a Blue Girl tune. So far this is the frontrunner. Next Tonamel. Is this another gothy tune? That would be great. More gothic and experimental songs at songfight equals happy niv. Did not expect the british sounding voice. It feels odd like the voice is in the wrong octave, especially when lines like "alone in a shoebox world" don't hit. It's got a chorus but it appears right before the end. If it was a repeating chorus, this might've hooked me. Instead, I'm 50/50 on this one. Next the return of the Ice Weasels. I'm happy to see them back. I dug their stuff last year. I'm not digging this though. This is just too pop for my palate. If this wins, I wouldn't get annoyed. It's a fine well made song, it's just not for me. Next BCC. echo-beep echo-beep echo-beep beep-beep-beep and some mumbling. 6:31! WTF! Who in their right mind thinks that these little bleeps are enough to substantiate a 6+ minute song. I'm halfway through now and this is audio Birkenau. (Good band name, gotta remember that one). This is killing me. 5 minutes in now and the suicidial thoughts abound. Scratch that. The homicidial thoughts abound. That was atrociously bad. Sorry, if I'm being harsh here but that was really painful. Next Bridget & the Blue State MoMos. Yeah, g^2. This fight has had goth, g^2 and experimental. I am super happy. I hope everyone comes back frequently, even BCC (thanks for trying). What's a Blue State MoMo? Hmmm. I've listened to this 3 times now and it's left no lasting impression. Nice little harmonies and clean guitar sounds. It's an okay song. That's it and nothing more. Just okay. Next DJ Dan Wrekenhaus. OK DWH bunch, pick one variation of the name and stick with it, instead of littering the archive with all these different versions. That was short but I didn't hate it. I don't like the effect on the vocals and it's the song is basically a rip of "Finding Out True Love is Blind" but it's not deplorabale or abhorrant. Again, it's just OK. Next the return of Matthan. Hey, it's almost summer. Shouldn't AKNA be getting together to lay down a song that will be stuck in our heads for the whole season? Anyways. Now that's catchy. Matthan has a gift for that. Great simple rocker and it looks like it'll easily get my vote. Lastly Calque aka Noah McLaughin meets x-tokyo. My part in this song? I brought Nataly and I did some soundscaping guitar work that lays quietly under the slide guitar that it inspired. I like the end and the feel of these duet between the real and the unreal. This is basically Noah's baby, so I'm just gonna sit back and take in all the experimental wonder. Vote Time. Matthan's got the gold. Silver to Desolation Radio and Bronze to Bridget & the Blue State Momos.
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Post by Tonamel »

Why does everyone always think I'm British? I'm from Ohio! :lol:

(Further comments to come when I take my hand at reviewing everyone else. For now, I'll just take comfort in assuming that this wasn't a horrible first showing for me.)
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Post by mico saudad »

<b>Bridget and the Blue State MoMos</b> – Everyone welcome bridget and bob into the fray!
<b>Calque</b> –Creepy. Experimental, but I don’t see anything down this road worth pursuing to be honest. (*edit: I don't like how dismissive I was about this entry, but I think my labmate had something to do with that, see below)
<b>Matthan Minster</b> – Hey man, I really love your ‘angry all over’ entry. Good song. This one I’m not so keyed up about, but it was okay. I think the biggest issue I have with your this (and a little bit in angry all over) is production-wise. It sounds like you’re doubling up the vocal tracks and delaying them slightly, but doing so has given them a slightly metallic flanging taste that is not as satisfying as it might be if your vox were a bit warmer. Also some of the keyboard parts seemed to be floating outside the mix and not really woven in texturally.
<b>Minty Handy</b> – I really don’t like your name. Really don’t. I do like the instrumentation behind the spoken word. Definitely a Darth Hawking vibe going on. Have you ever seen the Star Wars gangster rap? That’s what this feels like. Well produced, but I hoped for a little bit more meat on the string theory take.
<b>Tonamel </b>– Very mellow. When I was listening to this 0:45-0:55 my labmate was clicking his pencil against the desk like a stopwatch but I thought it was part of the music. I was a little disappointed to find out it wasn’t. It needs some stopwatch in there. Heh. Voice not very great, and some of the lyrics are a bit rough but I like the imagery of strings on paper mache.

I was in the middle of reviewing Calque and my labmate asked me to turn off the music. Sorry Calque.

(DJ Dan Wrekenhaus, Desolation Radio, Battlecry Creek, Thornberry, Ice Weasels - to come)
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Post by Matthan »

abecedarian wrote: <b>Matthan Minster</b> – I think the biggest issue I have with your this (and a little bit in angry all over) is production-wise. It sounds like you’re doubling up the vocal tracks and delaying them slightly, but doing so has given them a slightly metallic flanging taste that is not as satisfying as it might be if your vox were a bit warmer. Also some of the keyboard parts seemed to be floating outside the mix and not really woven in texturally.
I agree with you. I like the doubling effect overall, but I agree with you. I tried to use it a bit more dynamically this time. I think perhaps the problem is partly due to the way I sing. I need to work on those problems from a vocal standpoint. I agree with you about the keyboard too. I need some cubase training. Every time I get to the production phase my computer starts bogging out and pissing me off.

anyway thanks
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Post by Matthan »

Niveous wrote: Matthan. Hey, it's almost summer. Shouldn't AKNA be getting together to lay down a song that will be stuck in our heads for the whole season?
That kid was killed in a terrible car accident last winter. sorry dude.
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Post by MintyHandy »

Minty Handy – I really don’t like your name. Really don’t.
That is the single most useful piece of feedback on my music I have ever received. Heh.

FWIW, I copyright my music under the "Minty Handy Music" label, so that's what that is. Not a band or performance name. Technically I can't use my real name either, because there's already a popular singer with the same name out there. Perhaps I should hold a NameFight, wherein I provide four songs and you all submit your best name.
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Post by mico saudad »

Matthan wrote:I need some cubase training.
yeah let me know when class starts, I'll be in the front row.
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Post by Dan Wrekenhaus 2 »

Finding Out True Love is Blind
Who does this? If I reipped it off, I would be interested in hearing it. Thanks.
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Post by Father Bingo »

Battle Cry Creek - The phoned in vocals are great. I think this might be the first SongFight track that I'll put into my "at work" playlist on my iPod and it can live with Boards Of Canada and Autechre. However, I'm at home and not at work right now.

Bridget & the Blue State MoMos - The lo-fi really adds to this piece. With the standup bass tone and tape hiss, it sounds like some intimate demo that you want fall in love with. Reminds me very much of The Microphones. But the lead female's voice doesn't do it for me. She sounds like she's either bored or trying too hard.

Calque - If you add some bubble sounds to the not creepy computer voice parts, you'd have a sibling of "A Dead Fish Gains the Power of Observation" by The Books. Unfortunately, that song bores me too.

Desolation Radio - The vocals work best for me in the verse when they're just full of vocal fry and not trying to carry a tune. It completely loses me when it gets higher at 1:20 and again at 2:24.

DJ Dan Werkenhaus - This song would be a certain winner for me if it were produced better. At :12, I was wishing for the vocals to suddenly go clean. They didn't, so at :24 I was hoping for the same thing but now with a thick crisp drum track. It never happened. In fact, nothing really interesting happened with the beats. They started out with a lot of potential but didn't really go anywhere new. So I was sad.

Ice Weasels - Ah, I was wondering where the Apollo 18 era TMBG track was in this fight! I mean, c'mon, with a title like this there had to be at least one. Thank you for delivering.

Matthan Minster - This song would be unstoppable with better mixing. That keyboard sound that starts at :51 pulls the whole song together. It's like The Dude's rug. But you gave The Dude a small rug. I recommend you check out the Pulsars, I think you will like them.

Minty Handy - MIDI and spoken word are two things I really don't like. I'm sorry, it's just not my thing at all.

Thornberry - I really want to like this because it's an instrumental and ya gotta represent, but the drumming is sloppy and the bass is all over the place. The ideas are there, but not the execution.

Tonamel - I really dig the light instrumentation, but the vocals are way too dramatic for my tastes.


Good fight. I'm going with the Dude's small rug.
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Post by roymond »

Dan Wrekenhaus 2 wrote:
Finding Out True Love is Blind
Who does this? If I reipped it off, I would be interested in hearing it. Thanks.
It's called Google, and it's called pages of hits. But I can't say anything's a rip off based on one line of universal lyric. Is the music also a rip off, Niveous?
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erik
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Post by erik »

You can't ripoff of a rather common phrase; it's the music that sounds quite similar.

Here's a vid of the song; I couldn't find a linkable mp3. (The song is much more enjoyable if you don't have to look at the guys who make the music.)

http://mfile.akamai.com/9139/mov/warner ... ut_450.mov
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Post by MintyHandy »

Here we go again, then I can concentrate on my song for this week, which I haven't started yet.

Minty Handy

I was actually working on a different song, and did this to entertain myself when I got stumped. Ultimately I submitted it despite my gut feeling not to. This song, when compared to my Pig Sticker submission last week, is a great example of how a good song with a bad recording beats a bad song with a good recording every time. I just listened to it, and even I don't enjoy it, whereas Pig Sticker was stuck in my head for several days. Lesson learned.

Bridget and the Blue State Momos

Starts pleasantly enough, but I need more passion in the vocals and lyrics to enjoy this, or for the song to go into additional complexity. Right now it's just sort of pleasantly lulling me to sleep. A nice enough sound though, once again making me wish I owned a guitar. For some reason, the overall relaxed vibe reminds me of a cult...

Battlecry Creek

Another String Theory entry, and it entertains me about as much as my own. You and me learn a lesson about MIDI-driven spoken-word scientific theory this week, BC. The wandering synth note did intrigue me, though. Wow, this goes on for a while, doesn't it?

Desolation Radio

Nice opening, though a few more BPM would have been nice with that bassline. If what's-his-name from Coldplay were singing this, it just might hold up. Also, it needs more of a melody to carry it; if there were a more compelling melody running through it at a slightly higher tempo, this would get my vote. As is, it's just finishing the putting-me-to-sleep that Bridget and the Blue State Momos started -- very relaxing and ambient.

Matthan Minster

Dammit, I wish I'd submitted this. Happy little ditty, isn't it? Not really sure where the title comes in, but I'm enjoying waiting to find out. At 1:25 and similar, too much energy gets lost -- if you can find a way to build there instead of lose, that would make it finished and terrific in my book. Oh, there's the title reference, in the bridge. The bridge has more energy than the chorus, like you saved all the energy that you lost at 1:25 and similar to use here. 90% on your way to a really pleasing song that I'd throw in my mp3 collection.

Oh, and you've got a good name, too. I hear that matters.

Tonamel

At 0:27, when the organ comes in, you've got my attention and it's yours to lose, and if you could find something smoother and less military on the drums I'd be completely won over. However, something has to happen soon or I'll get bored. Here's the vocals, and...not so much. You hit the notes (mostly) and you hold them, but they compete (in a bad way) with the other instruments at times and aren't compelling enough to make me want to listen. Also, around 02:06, "glued in place" (the delivery, not the lyric) just doesn't work.

You know what might help? Try harmonizing with yourself, and try finding a few more syllables in there so that you don't have to hold the notes so long, 'cuz that's not your thing. Even someone like Jonatha Brooke doesn't go for notes like that, and she's got a very compelling voice. Oh, and listen to the drums in some of her songs to understand the "smoother and less military" that I am thinking of in my above comment.

Thornberry

Your name makes me want cereal. Your drummer could use a bit of sugar, too, to keep up with the rest of you. Timing problems abound, but there's some interesting guitar work at times. Not enough going on here to keep my interest for long, though.

Um, so, what about the strings, mister instrumental?

DJ Dan Wrekenhaus

00:13 is where the big drums should kick in and the vocals should go straight, while the distorted voice is still a novelty. By 00:24 I'm over it and wondering when the rest of the song will start. Oh, I am now sad, because you missed such an opportunity here -- everything, including the part that starts at 00:52, would have been absolutely terrific if it were backed with bass and drums and non-distorted singing voices. Damn. A good song, but a terribly missed opportunity.

If you even re-record this with the full band, as it were, I'd love to hear it.

Calque

A third spoken word, but this one isn't scientific, and I do like the sliding guitar. Oooooh, damn, that creepy voice kills it for me, I can't hear that without wanting to rip my head off. I'm going to ride it out, though, for the same reason I watch scary movies.

Okay, the blood is running down the strings and I'm not really enjoying myself. Oooooh, that damn voice again. Right when the guitars build, too. Oh, but they don't build much.

My hat's off to you for being able to creep my [deleted] out, but other than that, not my bag. Sorry.

Ice Weasels

They Might Be Strings! Catchy vibe, good lyrics, consistent (if unpolished) delivery, and well-arranged. Overall, my favorite song so far, with caveats. Here's the laundry list:

1. Get your voice to the forefront, nice and rich and wide, and trust that we want to hear it;

2. Get some bass in there to make it sound nice and rich, esp. at 0:57;

3. As long as you're going for this kind of song, a tuba wouldn't hurt. Seriously.

- - -

I'm going to give it to...okay, just changed my mind. Was going to give it to Ice Weasels because I'm a sucker for solid songwriting, but Matthan Minster's contribution was equally solid. Overall, the arrangement was a draw, but the vocal delivery for Matthan Minster and the lack of bass in Ice Weasel's piece tipped me over. What would it take to get Matthan to sing and play bass on Ice's song?

Also a place on the podium: DJ Dan Wrekenhaus. Good group of songs, folks, my favorite set of the four this week.
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Post by MintyHandy »

DJ Dan, they're not kidding, boy does this song sound like yours. That is NOT NOT NOT me saying you plagarized, not even a little tiny bit.

Here's the funny thing: everything I gave you feedback about with your song is done right in the one linked above. They've got the pure in-your-face voice going, instead of the distant distorted one, they've got the driving bass and drums that you're missing, they've even got the lighter start, with everything kicking in a few measures later -- just what I wanted yours to do. Oh, and they can get away with a lighter bridge, because they're heavy on either end, whereas you can't, because you're a bit light throughout.

Note that you're using the chorus similarly, and it works in both songs. If you use this song as a production reference when remixing and embellishing yours, you're good to go. Oh, and this song (not yours) does start to bore me by 2/3, so I'm not holding it up as an ideal song. But it's a good one, as is yours.
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Post by Dan Wrekenhaus 2 »

For what it's worth, I had some non-technical difficulties with drums, which is why there is not but a tamborine in the song. When I showed up to lay down the drums, the place was being remodeled and they were in pieces, and it was 11:00pm on Thursday night. I would've rather had drums than what I did have.
roymond
It's called Google, and it's called pages of hits. But I can't say anything's a rip off based on one line of universal lyric. Is the music also a rip off, Niveous?
I appreciate this.. google is new to me. When I click on the tiny little 'e,' by the itty bitty start button, it just takes me right here.

Really, I'm not gonna spend any amount of my time trying to find a song I've never heard of because someone says my song ripped it off. I think the riff is too generic to pinpoint the ripping-off to 1 particular band, but I'll have to give this a listen (watch) when I'm sitting at a faster connection. To clarify, I am sure my song sounds like this, as you have all said, my problem is with the term "rip-off."

Thanks all for the input so far! (seriously)
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Post by Tonamel »

Now I get to pretend I'm a competent reviewer! ;)

Battlecry Creek - An interesting idea, but other than the beep that goes crazy every once in a while, there's not enough going on to keep my interest. You should change thinks up a bit more, and in varying ways. Different drums, bass, new instruments altogether, whatev. Also, I can't understand a thing the voice is saying.

Bridget Jones & the Blue State Momos - I'm really digging the instruments at the beginning, but the voice seems a little distant when it comes in. The harmonies (and harmonic movement) make me happy :D And I really like your voice in this. Very carefree.

Calque - I like the style of this. Way cool. However, I'm hearing some clipping in the voices, and I can't understand anything the whisperer is saying, creepily cool though it may be. The atmosphere is top-notch, though.

Desolation Radio - How cheerful this is! ;) This is very nicely produced, and I don't mind the muddy vox at all. It suits the style. At about three minutes in, there's a little melody that could stand to be a bit louder. I almost didn't hear it.

DJ Dan Wrekenhaus - I'm digging the guitar groove, but where are the drums? It's tough to have a kick'n groove without them (edit: You just addressed this before I posted. It may be ignored!) . The vocals are a bit too, uh... "Kompressor-esque" for my tastes.

Ice Weasels - A pleasant change with this one. I honestly hadn't been expecting anything upbeat in this fight. The vocals could stand to be a bit more up front, though. All in all, this tune makes me smile!

Matthan Minster - This is a really nice piece that's being held back by the mix, which is unfortunate because I really like this as a song. If you could just get the actual production fixed (no one thing in particular, but a lot of little things put together. Practicing your production skills will really make your music shine.), this would be a hands-down winner in my mind.

Minty Handy - A school textbook on crack! I really like this concept, but wish that you had better instrument samples. They have a very "I wish these were real" sound to them, which turns me off.

Thornberry - I like the sounds you've put together, but the performance just isn't very tight at all.

And finally, myself:

I think anyone who listens to this will be immediately aware that this song desperately wants to be at least twice as long as it is. And it would have been, if I wasn't such a poor lyricist. But it was my first attempt at a SongFight, and I didn't want to submit nothing, or I'd feel a failure. So a half-song it was.

I also submitted it knowing that the vocals were monstrously sub-par. They were recorded on a lapel mic, in the middle of the night, so I'm trying not to wake people up, and my DAW seems to want to record everything that goes to the speakers regardless of the fact that I told it not to, so it was recorded a capella. Adding it all together, you get a poor recording of a voice that's not getting proper breath support and has intonation issues. Joy! (Or not.)

Of course, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of my voice, so it feels a little wierd to Give It to the Internet for critiquing, especially when I knew the recording wasn't the best. This is, in fact, the first time I have ever sung to something I have written. Everything else I've done has been an instrumental (hence the quality of my backing stuff.) Actually, I usually do experimental electronic stuff, so this was a bit of a departure for me on all fronts. I think I had Zero 7 on the mind :D

And that concludes my self-loathing first-timer review! It had Action! It had Humo(u)r! (I'm not British!) It had rampant Making Excuses!

Good times, good times...

I'd like to thank you all for your critiques so far, though. And a preemptive thanks to anyone who reviews this in the future!
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jack
Hot for Teacher
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:41 am
Recording Method: ProTools, Logic, Garageband
Submitting as: brody, Jack Shite, Johnny in the Corner, Bloody Hams, lots more
Location: santa cruz, ca.

Post by jack »

i picked this fight to review mostly because i'm not familiar with anyone's music. except some kid named ace.

DJ danwreckenhouse
well, it sounds like you actually tried to arrange something with this. if this was done up all eddie bangs like, i might like it better. it has some decent moments and good energy but ultimately, listening to it makes me just think about what i don't like and would do differently instead of what i like.

desolation radio
i really love the backing mix on this but the vocals sound kind of lazy. i sort of think that's what you're going for...the opium buzz mix...but it's not working as well for me as the backing mix is.

calque
haha. i'm guessing this is a niv project. this is good. the guitar is nice, as is the backwards stuff and the layered stuff way back there. the spoken word stuff is ok, but i almost wish you'd pitch shifted that too. but i still think it's cool and creepy in a twin peaks sort of way.

thornberry
points for real drums. points for long gratuitous guitar intros. wait. that's it? meh.

tonamel
now this is pretty cool. the intro is really nicely done. at first i'm not big on the vocals but they sort of grow on me. but i love the tremelo guitar and the keyboards, as well as the hiss effect done to taste rather than go overboard with it. love it. excellent!

matthan minster
the vocals could definitely come way up in the mix. the drums sound pretty buried too, but the vocals are very nicely done, and this is a really terrific arrangement. like i love when that keyboard line comes in. but the mix sounds really compressed and could definitely use a boost. good tune though. hooky for sure on that chorus.

ice weasels
singing is real nice on this too. that dirty guitar (the one riffing stage left) is sort of annoying for me, relative to the rest of the arrangement. it's definitely got that good old TMBG tag working for it.

minty handy
this is some cool shit. i really don't know what else to say. very nicely done. i must go listen to more of your stuff now.

bridget and the blue state momos
i dig it, especially the harmonies. excellent. nice simple arrangement. you do the genre proud.

battlecry creek
he. something for everyone in this fight. the techno closer. aw man, the vox just took a dookie on the mix. well, somethings gotta happen here. maybe not. it's a bit self indulgent, i'll give you that.

faves: matthan, desolation, tonamel, minty, bridget
Hi!
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