How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

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king_arthur
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How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby king_arthur » Sat Feb 01, 2014 7:31 am

I'm sure BSS would want to cancel their entry this week... seriously, congrats to Berkeley Social Scene for catching and passing me in "Total Entries" this week... and we won't even discuss # of wins...

Submitted some America-centric cover art; as always, if you can do better, go for it! But we're ready for the new songs!

Charles
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Paco Del Stinko
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Paco Del Stinko » Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:24 am

Weh-heh-heh-ell! Still gotta catch ME!


And we won't discuss the wins thing here, either, thank you. Ahem.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Lunkhead » Sat Feb 01, 2014 8:58 am

Ha! I thought we were the only ones keeping track, but apparently not. I guess you don't get into the top 10 most submitted by accident, eh? ;)
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Caravan Ray
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Caravan Ray » Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:00 pm

king_arthur wrote:I'm sure BSS would want to cancel their entry this week... seriously, congrats to Berkeley Social Scene for catching and passing me in "Total Entries" this week... and we won't even discuss # of wins...

I think I was holding the "King Arthur Award" there for a bit - but lost it when I won the "This Week We'll See" fight (even if it was under the name G.O.T.T.E.C). Looks like it was passed to Flvxxxvm Florvm or Wages.

And damn - still 2 places out of the top 10 submissions. slowly creeping there.
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king_arthur
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby king_arthur » Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:19 pm

Caravan Ray wrote:
king_arthur wrote:I'm sure BSS would want to cancel their entry this week... seriously, congrats to Berkeley Social Scene for catching and passing me in "Total Entries" this week... and we won't even discuss # of wins...

I think I was holding the "King Arthur Award" there for a bit - but lost it when I won the "This Week We'll See" fight (even if it was under the name G.O.T.T.E.C). Looks like it was passed to Flvxxxvm Florvm or Wages.

And damn - still 2 places out of the top 10 submissions. slowly creeping there.


Actually, you lost it when you submitted for "Prayer for Pancakes" (as I did). According to the official numbers, "This Week We'll See" doesn't count "against" Caravan Ray...
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Caravan Ray
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Caravan Ray » Sat Feb 01, 2014 4:57 pm

king_arthur wrote:
Caravan Ray wrote:
king_arthur wrote:I'm sure BSS would want to cancel their entry this week... seriously, congrats to Berkeley Social Scene for catching and passing me in "Total Entries" this week... and we won't even discuss # of wins...

I think I was holding the "King Arthur Award" there for a bit - but lost it when I won the "This Week We'll See" fight (even if it was under the name G.O.T.T.E.C). Looks like it was passed to Flvxxxvm Florvm or Wages.

And damn - still 2 places out of the top 10 submissions. slowly creeping there.


Actually, you lost it when you submitted for "Prayer for Pancakes" (as I did). According to the official numbers, "This Week We'll See" doesn't count "against" Caravan Ray...

I still insist that "Prayer for Pancakes" doesn't count - because everyone won. And yes even though "Caravan Ray" still hasn't won a "proper" fight under that name - I am claiming TWWS even though i submitted under different name. I might not get another win.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby king_arthur » Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:20 pm

And only because I'm so desperate to do well at something, I will also note that I seem to be second only to bortwein in submitted cover arts. And thanks to running unopposed in a lot of those, I've even got some "wins" :-)
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Kevin Mellows » Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:32 am

Hey guys! I didn’t participate in this fight, but I’ve given all the songs a listen and have reviews for all y’all. I actually did make a song for this fight but I got about 80% of the way through and chickened out. I don’t know... I should have finished it. It would have been just fine. I don’t know why I let myself do that. Okay, enough about my mental problems, on to the reviews!

PS- I’m reviewing these through good quality, but consumer grade headphones. Half of you get votes!

Barkley’s So-Called Need*
Woah man, what is that wail 15 second in? That’s cool. Drums have a nice room sound. I like the story of the song. I really like how the line “I got knocked out flat” drops a semitone, neat. Vocals could be clearer. Ha, I love how the guitar bleeds into that screaming tone. Song is short but still feels complete.

Berkeley Social Scene*
All the instruments are clear and well balanced, but they don’t sound “present”. It’s like this song is coming through a radio in a living room instead of being right in my ears. I like the feel of the chorus.

Caravan Ray*
Cool filter sweep groove! I like the semitone descent harmony. Cool style. You get away with having just a few lyrics.

The Chadderandom Abyss
Um… I don’t know what is happening here… I usually like songs with harmony and melody. I can’t say you aren’t trying, because you are trying to do this on purpose, but it freaks me out.

The Chocolate Chips
Okay man, I would really like to hear a song from you that isn’t a last minute effort! Neat style. I find it weird though that even with your auto-tune vocals there are still some really flat sounding notes.

Cookie Blue
Both the voice and guitar are panned slightly left. Is that on purpose? You have a good voice. A better mic would give your guitar and voice more sparkle. I like your chord progression.

Foobar*
Definitely a Foobar song with that voice. Everything is balanced, but not present. Your vocals sit nicely on top of the mix and are easily understandable. There is something that really gripes me about the chorus of this song though;

You can’t take that back, it’s a one way street
You can’t take that back, you can’t uncook your meat
You can’t un-bake a cake, you can’t un-crack and egg
You can't take that back (beat) you can’t un-break a leg.

“You can’t un-break a leg” sits in the most powerful spot of your chorus. Lyrically, it is the spot that people will naturally remember, as all the words before it lead to that point. It’s the punch line to the joke, so to speak. But “you can’t un-break a leg” doesn’t really have any pay-off. I really think that if you worked the song into having “you can’t un-break her heart” where the leg line is, you could then used the verses to tell the story of you and this girl. The chorus then becomes the emotion to the story. I realize that you do this at the end of the song, but it would be much stronger all the way through. Sometimes it sounds like you’re rhyming for convenience, and I know you can do better! Just my two cents :)

J.A.N
Woah, I’m being attacked by robots, and I kind of like it. “Throw up your hands, no I take that back” made me laugh. The crazy distortion on the voice really makes everything difficult to understand.

Jeff DeSantis*
Nice, the instruments are definitely present in this song. Your vocals are clear but there’s something in the mid-range keeping them from punching right through. My foot was a-tappin’.

Ken’s Super Duper Band ‘n Stuff*
You guys sound just like BSS. I’m still new here so I don’t know- are there multiple submissions from the same few people on this site? I like the synth. Just like BSS everything is mixed well balance-wise, but the sound isn’t right in my ears.

Klownhole
Aggressive and dark. Quite the contrast from most submissions here. I like the emotion and rawness in your voice even if I can’t really relate. Not really my cup of tea, but neat none-the-less. 13:30 of this is too long.

The Magnetic Letters*
Sweet melodies. Your backing vocals are well done, those are hard to do. The vocals sit nice and on top. There is something really sad about this song that sits in contrast with the feel and melody of the song.

MMMC
Your vocal harmonies are good, but not enough attention was paid to nailing the rhythm of the backing vocals, so they flam all over the place. If you’re going to start your song sounding like Beyonce, you’ve got to nail it. The rapping that ensues is not very good. It’s all too fast and doesn’t stay in time. I do like the message of the song.

New Image*
I like your voice. Also, I like the melody to your progression. Instruments are well mixed and present. The vocals are clear but could sit a little further on top.

Paco del Stinko*
Mixed well, but the verse vocals could sit higher in the mix. Your vocal harmonies are well done. Great voice.

Rio Mondo
Cool vibe, until the rapping starts. lol, sorry man, I’m not a fan of rap. But I think your chorus is strong. I really like how it’s phrased. Production wise, I think the vocals could sit a little higher in the mix.

Scott Gesser
Another rapping song… Like I just said to Rio, I’m not a fan of rap, but at least your rapping is rhythmic and has sensible phrasing. Neat that that all the instrumentation (minus drums) is your voice.

Okie-dokie, that’s a wrap!

Cheers,
-Kevin
Last edited by Kevin Mellows on Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby foobar93 » Mon Feb 03, 2014 2:59 pm

Kevin Mellows wrote:“You can’t un-break a leg” sits in the most powerful spot of your chorus. Lyrically, it is the spot that people will naturally remember, as all the words before it lead to that point. It’s the punch line to the joke, so to speak. But “you can’t un-break a leg” doesn’t really have any pay-off. I really think that if you worked the song into having “you can’t un-break her heart” where the leg line is, you could then used the verses to tell the story of you and this girl. The chorus then becomes the emotion to the story. I realize that you do this at the end of the song, but it would be much stronger all the way through. Sometimes it sounds like you’re rhyming for convenience, and I know you can do better! Just my two cents :)

Thanks for the kind words & thoughtful review. I had the same thought about the lyrics about 2/3 of the way through working on the song, but it was too late to change. Originally, I had hoped that having a kind of dull line early in the song and then swapping it out with the real kicker would gain energy from the surprise and therefore have some impact. But you might be right that it would have been better to come up with a superior rhyme and stuck with it. Appreciate the suggestion.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby glennny » Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:23 pm

you will never convince me that Barkley's So Called Need is not Mr. del Stinko. Disguise your voice as you might, that's Paco on guitar.
Awesome track!
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby foobar93 » Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:40 pm

Barkley's So-Called Need

Man do I really like the first 0:07 of this. Great hook. Not so wild about the wiggly synth sound at 0:13. The mix with the full band and vocals is a little hard to follow, but I love it whenever the band drops out and we get that intro riff again. Is something slightly out of tune? I am having trouble putting my finger on what's bugging me when the bass and rhythm guitar is going.

Berkeley Social Scene

I like this song a lot. Has a little Rush feel to me, especially on "point of no return." Please post lyrics, I'd like to read them. Solid all-around track, I have little to add. Thanks for sharing this.

Caravan Ray

I love how you manage to make the vocals crystal clear even though they are so fast paced and there's so much crazy stuff going on. Tapping my feet along with this one, even though it's not my usual cup of tea. I wish there were more verses, this is a lot of fun. More please.

The Chadderandom Abyss

Too freaky for me.

The Chocolate Chips

Can't make out the verse lyrics, although the chorus is pretty clear. There's something sweet about the contrast between the kind of sour out of tune verses and the less-so chorus. I have no idea what you are saying, but I feel the sense of relief that comes through in each chorus. It sounds melancholy but like you're relieved to be admitting it, at least. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. Either way, this has some really enjoyable moments for me.

Cookie Blue

Other than being totally tilted to stereo left, this sounds good at the start. Some of the vocal phrases pretty much cut out with breathiness and I can't make them out. Most of the guitar parts sound solid, with a few small bits that could use a second take. What did you use to record this? I like the songwriting, the emotion comes through clearly, and the chord progression is interesting too. I look forward to hearing more.

More soon:
Foobar
J.A.N.
Jeff DeSantis
Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff
Klownhole
The Magnetic Letters
MMMC
New Image
Paco del Stinko
Rio Mondo
Scott Gesser
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby glennny » Mon Feb 03, 2014 11:45 pm

BSS lyrics posted, sorry. Martin as the singer was supposed to post them. Not sure if he knows that rule.
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Kevin Mellows
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Kevin Mellows » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:00 am

Sorry, I'm a bit confused- who is Berkeley Social Scene? lol
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby glennny » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:16 am

Berkeley Social Scene is : Ken (Ken), Sam (Lunkhead), Martin (Martyr), Glen (glennny), Erin (Erin)
and sometimes Ryan,Bryan,Steve, Lee, Paul

Ken has a Super Duper Band, Ken & Glen = Semolina Pilchards, Sam & Erin = Merisan, Glen & Martin= Older Brothers, BSS+ Niveous Lyrics= Zinkline, Ken Sam & Erin= Tiny Robots

There are many other subsets with other members causing a need for many other band names.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Caravan Ray » Tue Feb 04, 2014 2:03 am

Kevin Mellows wrote:Sorry, I'm a bit confused- who is Berkeley Social Scene? lol

Good question Mellow Kev.

I can never work it out either


and - good answer Glennnny.

Thanks
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Niveous » Tue Feb 04, 2014 2:18 pm

glennny wrote:BSS+ Niveous Lyrics= Zinkline.


Interesting factoid-
While BSS has gone by the name Zinkline for the 6 albums we've released, the 4 Zinkline songs in the SF archive were not written by me. Meanwhile I wrote the lyrics for "Boron Rod", "Double Take", "Let's Get Bloody", "Right There at the Edge" & "Please Stop" and they are all listed as Berkeley Social Scene despite being on Zinkline albums.

Kevin Mellows wrote:J.A.N
Woah, I’m being attacked by robots, and I kind of like it. “Throw up your hands, no I take that back” made me laugh. The crazy distortion on the voice really makes everything difficult to understand.


Attacked by robots. I like that description. JAN is an experimental electronic music trio, so you may get that feeling on occasion.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby glennny » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:48 pm

Zinkline predates BSS. It was basically Zipline but Ken instead of Zabor (the Prisoner). We wanted to keep the Zinkline tradition even when Buckingham and Nicks joined. (I mean Merisan)
We are Zinkline for FAWM and BSS for SongFight.
When we already have one submission as BSS and another song then its submitted as Zinkline (it happened that way at least once I think).
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Kevin Mellows
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby Kevin Mellows » Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:55 pm

I am going to have a hard time keeping this all together, haha
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby jlampson » Tue Feb 04, 2014 8:35 pm

Although I was away for about a week and didn't have time to submit something, I'm happy to listen and review. Thanks to all of you for submitting some awesome songs!

Barkley's So-Called Need
Very big impact right from the start. There are some things I don't like about the sound of this and they are things like "the synth thing", the hard-to-hear vocals, and the sound of the snare drum. But from a song perspective, it seems pretty solid. I just can't hear the vocals clearly and there aren't any lyrics so I can't properly judge this as a full song. It sounds cool otherwise!


Berkeley Social Scene
Way to slow it down this week and have a cool backbeat. I kind of feel like the drum beat during the chorus should be used more for building tension in a prechorus or bridge. In my mind, the chorus should be the relief to any tension previously created lyrically or melodically. In the first half of the bridge and the short verse 3, you do a good job of building that tension. Overall, I like this - very cool!


Caravan Ray
I was not expecting this and I am surprised how much I like this. It does get a little repetitive lyrically but I do like how you vary it instrumentally and have a lot of great harmonies between the vocals and the instruments. I do think you shared a very important lesson with the lyrics, for sure!


The Chadderandom Abyss
I would consider this a very good example of lo-fi atonal music. In lieu of posted lyrics and some background on the song, I can only say that, while I appreciate the experimental nature of this piece, there aren't any points at which it comes across as much more than a stream-of-consciousness recording. Could you share anything additional about your approach, or perhaps the lyrics, or anything? As it stands, this was hard to make it through, but I did, and I feel like some of your thoughts could shed some serious light. Thank you!


The Chocolate Chips
Cool swell and sitar-style effect. I'm used to your vocals being very precise and that's not reflecting in this recording. They're not very present, either, which I find to be a fairly common complaint of mine. Although there are a lot of mix things I would personally like to see resolved, the song does seem to do a good job of building and seems to have a clear instrumental theme. I also like the fade-out at the end.


Cookie Blue
The tough thing about live recordings can be the balance between instruments. In this case, the vocals get lost a lot, and that's a shame because this is a pretty strong vocal performance and I get the sense that there is some clever wordplay here as well. Because I can't hear it that well, and you don't have lyrics posted, it's tough for me to accurately review it. I get a sense that you could do some really cool stuff and I am looking forward to hearing more!


Foobar
I love that piano melody right after "unbreak a leg". I like most of this song a lot but I echo some of the comments about the "unbreak a leg" lyric. I think you could have come up with something stronger and I hope you do. This has a huge-sounding low-end boom to it that I love, too. The vocal performance is good, too - I sense that you are getting better of setting the vocals in the mix. Whatever you're doing, keep it up!



J.A.N.
I'd recommend a shorter intro and bumping up the vocals, especially with the distortion effect. You're beating something into my head, and it's actually pretty cool sounding, but I can't hear what I should be thinking. Until the last 45 seconds or so, and then I love it with that really aggressive delivery. It work perfectly there. I think turning up the vocals could have a big impact.



Jeff DeSantis
This is a good song. Good arrangement and construction and simple, but good performances. You don't waste time getting to the point of the song and you get to the bridge really quick, too. Nice solo. Overall, this seems a bit muffled. I think some slight subtractive EQ in the low-mid range would benefit this a lot. Nicely done, sir!



Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff
I love that opening guitar riff and the sound! I'd like to hear this with a better balance, though, especially becase there doesn't seem to be much of a low end. I hear a lot of guitar and vocals, which is good but bring up the low end if you can. The synth solo is a great departure but might come across a bit long. I do like the return to that riff afterwards, which I feel is the strongest part of this song. My brain imagines the song ending with it also, to really drive home the thing and get that stuck in the listener's head.


Klownhole
Super loose at the start. I keep expecting this to come back together and be really tight. There is a Doors feel to this despite there being nothing stylistically similar. Overall, it sounds like some really awesome mud. I think if this were tightened up rhythmically and had a little more definition it would be super cool. And I'll also mention the length of it being an issue. Live, this could be an amazing jam but for this audience I tend to think that even getting to four minutes can be a bit long. I find that to be a good challenge (as I can sometime ramble on) and a good rule of thumb.


The Magnetic Letters
Very sweet, memorable melody, with a great balance. I like the contrast between things musically and lyrically and I think this is a strong contender for "victory" this round. It's very clever, too; could you please post the lyrics? I love how bitter the lyrics get as the song goes on, too. Super awesome!


MMMC
You're obviously very talented and I appreciate greatly what you're able to do vocally. I think there are some basic things that could be done to really improve this from an editing and mix perspective. In this groove-oriented style, a consistent rhythm is key, and that's something I think was missed here. Spend some time getting things to line up properly (whether that happens during recording or mixing is up to you). There's some really cool stuff going on here - just tighten it up and I think you'll have something even more cool.



New Image
I like this. Bring up the drums, please! I think that would also add to some textural contrast during parts where the rhythm section isn't playing. I think there's some great sounds and performances in this. As strong as those are, I do sense it dragging in the last 30 seconds. I don't have any specific constructive criticism; I would just suggest revisiting that part if you plan on revising this at all. Thank you for sharing this!


Paco del Stinko
Although the vocals sound low in the mix, they are very well performed. The guitar harmonies are a great addition throughout the song. Really great guitar solo and great instrumental balance. Wait, my stream just cut out at 2:30. Oh wait, I restarted the stream and it works now. Great job at keeping that energy throughout the whole song - that, to me, is the mark of a good arrangement!


Rio Mondo
Reminds of a Massive Attack or Sweetback jam. Diggin' it. Look up how to do a high-pass filter (HPF) on the vocals if you don't already. That would benefit the verse vocals a lot. The more spoken vocal does seem to lag a bit timing wise. There is a very sudden change around 2:30 and I'm not sure if it fits. It's also around that spot that this song seems to drag and, although it does need a change, the one at 2:30 doesn't - oh wait, that one at 3:25 is perfect. I'd move that back about a minute and really shorten this because it's got a cool ending from there. In my last song, I chopped off about 30 seconds right in the middle of the last half and it made the song flow a lot better. That might help you in this case, too. You've got some great ideas so keep it up!


Scott Gesser
There's some cool stuff going on here. The fact that it is mostly acapella alone gets bonus points from me. And then the "you suck" lyrical theme is wonderful. I have been in this situation before and I can totally relate. I've also been on the other end of it and totally deserved it, too, but let's just say I dig it.
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EvelBist
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby EvelBist » Wed Feb 05, 2014 9:14 am

Barkley's So-Called Need
Someone wants bling from BSS. At least the name anyway - the sonic content of this song is not of BSS quality. Instead, it has a monstrously cool quality all its own. Cussing aside - the obvious non-BSS stylistic trait - its a rocking tune of cool proportions. I like the mid-70's bump rhythm and the compressed vocals especially. I wont speculate on who the culprit here is, but a suspect has already been named and I would tend to agree. :D

Berkeley Social Scene
Mellowness called into play with a bass line and distorted guitar is a welcome departure from what I've normally come to expect as a mellow soft rock. The drums with the multiple hits during the chorus are very cool. The mix is a bit on the backside, but not annoyingly. The vocals are nice and straightup, with the to be expected harmonies well done. In fact, I like it very much.

Caravan Ray
How did you get that sound in the intro? Is that a talk box? Whatever it is lends a bit of novelty in the background of a fairly sophisticated track. I noticed the multiple layers of vocals during the chorus with their interweaving lines only after listening for the third time. Its like watching a great movie and still seeing new things after the 10th viewing. The song really moves and ends perfectly - really nice work here.

The Chadderandom Abyss
I am put off immediately by the sonic dissonance. However, in the interest of tolerance, I continued to listen for more than a couple of minutes. While the vocals sound like a drunk in a studio, they somehow fit the backing off-key strumming. And though I wouldnt normally listen to a "song" like this for more than a few seconds, I'm glad I did this time. It does kind of grow on you like a warm virus.

The Chocolate Chips
The dreamy intro gives way to a vocal that sort of wavers, uncharacteristic of you. Of course, I overlooked that because there is more here than just the vocals. The melody line is intriguing. I especially like the subdued brush work on the drums layered with the acoustic guitar. The synth work is your signature talent and when it finally shows up at the end it is as always superb. Overall I like it, but it missed the mark slightly on the mix this time.

Cookie Blue
The sparse arrangement lends itself to the style of your vocal presentation. Your voice is great on this. Maybe the guitar is a bit too far in front but not by much. Overall, if you were to remix it I'd center it - its too far over to one side - and let the vocals come forward a bit. Nice work!

Foobar
After listening to the whole song a couple of times, I have to admit the style is not something that I can peg. That being said, it flows well enough without a precedent. One thing, even though the BPM is pretty high, my knees arent moving. That's how I know if there's an instinctive 'beat' to a song. Now everything about the song is 'right' - the instrumental work, the lyrics are clever, the vocals good, but I know what you were trying for - a toe-tapper or even body-shaker. It didnt happen this time. I can't tell you what it is because its intrinsic. Try listening to a reggae song, those have 'it'. I'm absolutely no expert, but there is the gold mine.

J.A.N.
This is an excellent rendition of modern techno blended with the classic style. The use of distorted rap vocals tears through with the wailing man in the background. I don't believe this song can be fully appreciated in just one listen. Way cool!

Jeff DeSantis
The original Gin Blossoms sound came right through from the start so clearly I felt you were channeling them from 1993. Maybe I'm biased because I'm from Phoenix, and heard them when they were still unknown, and loved them. Hearing this brings a tear to my eyes remembering Doug Hopkins. Forgive me for going off like this. I love this song.

Ken's Super Duper Band 'n Stuff
Ken you've done it again. Blending a smooth background with smooth vocals is very cool. I like the mixing of a subtle distorted guitar with the steady drum work keeps it interesting. However, the synth break just doesnt find a place - I would have preferred a twangy Telecaster sound instead. Nevertheless well done.

Klownhole
Ponderingly slow, steady drone. Perfect for the genre - what is the genre? Drums, bass and guitar work are pretty good, and the singer has a decent voice.

The Magnetic LettersUpbeat and perky. Right after listening to Klownhole, this brought a shock to me. Your singer and the harmonies work well together. Its a deceptively simple tune, with lots going on. I really appreciate the sardonic lyrics too. But it's not going to offend anyone - there's no edginess to it. Edgy lyrics need a edgy background - unless its rap.

MMMC
It takes a bit to get started - the layered vocals at the beginning are somewhat out of tune. However, once past that, I like the transition to hard rap. The rapid delivery demands attention and if you miss a line, its difficult to get the rest. When you used the technique of rapping a line and then saying "I take that back", it was easier to follow. There were several sections and they fit into each other. I really like the first 'soul' segment and kind of hoped you'd end with another. I like it.

New Image
I meant this as a drunk (substitute drugs, smoking, abusive, etc) dufus who constantly promises to himself he's gonna fix his problem, but never does. But, I've heard that it's actually interpretable as a positive attitude thing. Well, I don't know which to accept, but I really would rather be positive. I hope you enjoy it no matter how you hear it.

Paco del Stinko
The guitar line in the intro is catchy, if not perfect. The chord progression in the chorus works good too. I know the song is cool because my knees are shaking on their own. What I like is that it is a serious song that doesnt take itself seriously. It's easy to like a tune like this because it's fun.

Rio Mondo
Though you might not like the comparison, its got a New Age'y feel to the intro. When the rap comes in, its somewhat unexpected. But once past the initial transition point, the dueling voices create a soul-rap-new age feel I haven't heard before. I dont know if there are multiple vocalists, but the singer on the chorus is excellent. I would have mixed the lead vocalist a bit more back, same volume level as the chorus line "I take that back".

Scott Gesser
After hearing Rio Mondo, it takes a bit to get used to this song. Almost acapella, it deserves recognition for its technical achievement. By the third chorus I am really getting into this. The break could use some more work on the harmonies. But overall, its a refreshing trip into raw emotion.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby foobar93 » Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:12 pm

jlampson wrote:Foobar
I love that piano melody right after "unbreak a leg". I like most of this song a lot but I echo some of the comments about the "unbreak a leg" lyric. I think you could have come up with something stronger and I hope you do. This has a huge-sounding low-end boom to it that I love, too. The vocal performance is good, too - I sense that you are getting better of setting the vocals in the mix. Whatever you're doing, keep it up!

Thanks, will do!

EvelBist wrote:Foobar
After listening to the whole song a couple of times, I have to admit the style is not something that I can peg. That being said, it flows well enough without a precedent. One thing, even though the BPM is pretty high, my knees arent moving. That's how I know if there's an instinctive 'beat' to a song. Now everything about the song is 'right' - the instrumental work, the lyrics are clever, the vocals good, but I know what you were trying for - a toe-tapper or even body-shaker. It didnt happen this time. I can't tell you what it is because its intrinsic. Try listening to a reggae song, those have 'it'. I'm absolutely no expert, but there is the gold mine.

I love a review that comes with homework. But seriously, I think I know exactly what you mean. I'm actually thrilled to hear this feedback, because I wasn't so invested in this song emotionally, I was mostly focused on tracking and mixing. So if the elements are coming through clearly, I'm happy. Thanks for listening & for the thoughtful suggestion.

These reviews made my day.
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Re: How do I un-submit a song? ("I Take that Back" reviews)

Postby j$ » Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:47 pm

evilbist wrote:J.A.N.
This is an excellent rendition of modern techno blended with the classic style. The use of distorted rap vocals tears through with the wailing man in the background. I don't believe this song can be fully appreciated in just one listen. Way cool!


I love short sentences that nail shit. Thank you! As one third of J.A.N. (Johnny, Andy, Niveous) I felt particularly bad that it was my turn to master and the song demanded that I made Andy into the wailing man in the background, but we wanted Kraftwerk vs. Death Grips, so that is what happened. And while I can perfectly buy into (and between the 3 of us discussed privately) the whole whether or not we even needed effects on the two great lead vocals ... this may be (after I would estimate 60 listens) the most perfect mix I have ever achieved. So, for better or worse, this is how it should sound - and can you honestly say that about *your* song?

[/off to listen to us again]
Lester Bangs is still dead.

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