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The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 4:19 pm
by jb
Greetings,

Back in the day, and I mean waaay back in the day, the community came up with a list of excuses that people typically make when they're unable, for some reason, to submit a song to the fight.

I did a bit of searching and came up with only references to the original list. This topic is to resurrect the list. I think it might be fun, eventually, to inscribe the list of excuses on a .org page for posterity. Here's what we've got so far:

I DID NOT ENTER THE FIGHT THIS WEEK BECAUSE...

  1. Your mom.
  2. What’s Song Fight?
  3. I am a person of insecure nature, weak in constitution and mental fortitude. [2019 UPDATE]
  4. I can’t read, so I got the title wrong.
  5. I am poor, so they cut off my lifeforce/Internet, and I never heard of a library
  6. I couldn't think of a good bridge
  7. The dog ate my lyrics/Ha ha I am sad
  8. I didn't want to "waste it"
  9. I’m too tired
  10. Game of Thrones
  11. I’m afraid I won’t win
  12. I had to mind my brother’s greyhound for some reason and he sucks at harmonies
  13. My parents/siblings/roommates never left me alone long enough to record.
  14. Nobody understands my music anyway.
  15. I won’t win so why bother
  16. My record contract forbids it
  17. People on the message board are mean!
  18. I couldn't write a decent lyric if my life depended on it.
  19. My porn machine keeps crashing/won’t crash
  20. My collaborator flaked on me just after I broke both my arms
  21. My guitar neck turned into a snake / I took some drugs
  22. ‘Roneing’ never caught on
  23. Butt-hurt from reviews last week
  24. I’m just not feeling it
  25. Spent too much time feeling it
  26. Caravan Ray stole my idea and did it better
  27. I’ve got blistahs on me fingahs
  28. These people have no taste.
  29. It was just too much of a good thing
  30. I had wicked bad cramps
  31. My porn machine ate my project files
  32. The Song Fight auto-reply message offended me
  33. My chorus was amazeballs, I swear
  34. Boss interrupted my recording session at the meat-packing plant
  35. Johnny was out sick, signed Dr. BULLSHIT
  36. Octothorpe won last week so this whole thing is corrupt
  37. No short term… something
  38. Procrastination / Fear of inadequacy
  39. It’s more like Production Fight anyway so F all of you
  40. No shoes to poop on
  41. Hurricane / knocked out by boxer / drank too much
  42. Self-abuse/injury
  43. The title is terrible.
  44. Just plain lazy I am
  45. Every tune I write sounds like “She Works Hard for the Money”
------
Your turn.

JB

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 3:40 pm
by Märk
-My vagina hurts
-I'm too fat
-Squirrel!
-My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
-The dog just bit my leg
-My teenage daughter ran away
-My fine young son has turned out gay

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:58 pm
by JonPorobil
Steam Sale.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:23 pm
by jb
Märk wrote: -My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
-The dog just bit my leg
-My teenage daughter ran away
-My fine young son has turned out gay
never read that song as a litany of excuses before, but now it makes SO MUCH SENSE


Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 7:51 am
by chocolatechips
my actual excuse for "The Lurker" - I wasn't near my recording equipment for about 10 days (almost exactly coinciding with the time we had to do "The Lurker.") but I'm back now and ready to get at the next title ! rock n roll.?

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:04 am
by jb
chocolatechips wrote:my actual excuse for "The Lurker" - I wasn't near my recording equipment for about 10 days (almost exactly coinciding with the time we had to do "The Lurker.") but I'm back now and ready to get at the next title ! rock n roll.?
DEATH IS THE ONLY EXCUSE!

http://android.appstorm.net/roundups/ut ... ding-apps/
http://www.apple.com/ios/garageband


(This song was recorded on my iphone 4 with no outside processing: http://www.songfight.org/music/hello_my ... e_hmoh.mp3 )

JB

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:05 am
by chocolatechips
it's true. I could have recorded a song with my smartphone and the ukulele I had with me.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:09 am
by jb
chocolatechips wrote:it's true. I could have recorded a song with my smartphone and the ukulele I had with me.
OMG chips.

*tsk*

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:22 pm
by Sick and Wrong
The title was not up by Saturday night.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 1:07 am
by fluffy
my wrists exploded. again.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 8:26 pm
by Billy's Little Trip
fluffy wrote:my wrists exploded. again.
Why haven't you perfected a non typey way of using a keyboard? If you're putting this task on my shoulders, I'm suggesting perfecting the talky voicey thingy. If you insist on the clicky sound of the keyboard, then design it in to your program. IE: Hi, my name is fluffy. And as you say it you hear clicly clacky click click click clack. Also, it helps if you drink lots of drunky water like me. :P ....Glad I could help.

Next caller, you are on the air with BLT in the evening. What can I do you for?

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 7:43 am
by rone rivendale
I was distracted by the return of Melvin. <3

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:02 am
by signboy
jb wrote: DEATH IS THE ONLY EXCUSE!
I died. But I WILL be resurrected, with all my evil powers back, as soon as my wife can teach our dog how to sacrifice goats.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:50 pm
by furrypedro
- Nobody reviews any more, and that's what it's all about right?
- This shit is so beneath me
- I got tired of people thinking I'm faking my accent
- I heard 1D and thought "what's the point when I can't be that good?"
- My penis is too sore
- I forgot about time zones
- I didn't know when to submit because there aren't 23 months in a year like the due date implies
- I ran myself over in my own car
- Got caught in a sharknado (but then somebody safely chainsawed me out of a shark so I could submit the following week.)

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 5:07 pm
by j$
- this title is clearly one we've already had, with a few letters changed.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:41 pm
by jb
(even though I didn't submit for the previous one either)

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:04 am
by j$
No-one realises when it's me in a collaboration (and that's the *only* reason they don't vote for it)

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:30 pm
by Billy's Little Trip
because I got high.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 6:09 pm
by fluffy
Billy's Little Trip wrote:because I got high.

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:33 pm
by Billy's Little Trip
Yeah, I laughed at the new version when I heard it on HuffPost. The added legalized and tax revenue parts are great.

The state made revenue, because I got high
They built a school or two, because I got high
Now the state can fund drug treatment and I know why
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high

:D

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 6:52 am
by johndisk0
LMAO at the Afroman update.

My excuses are "I lost my beat loops" and "I went on vacation and couldn't take my mixer". That last one isn't as funny as the first one, but it is true.

Others:

Ceiling cat was watching me
Monorail cat was late
I was chasing the little red dot
Clogged litterbox
(No, there's no pattern here. It's your imagination.)

-jd0

Re: The Song Fight Excuse List

Posted: Thu May 14, 2015 4:09 pm
by user
My computer died, and with it my hopes and dreams.