Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

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Chumpy
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Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by Chumpy »

Have at 'em!
"I don't recommend ending on a bad joke." --ken
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Re: Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by Cybronica »

I am not a judge, but I did enjoy reviewing your songs! :)

Spintunes 16 3

Vowel Sounds - Graduation day
I really like your voices together in the chorus, and the doubled vocal harmonies in the verses are great. I especially like polyphonic harmony lines you have going. This song is a bit saccharine, but thats basically what this challenge is, right? I am not inclined to like that you put in the title just as “graduation day”- it feels a little obvious, almost jingly. Maybe if you had approached it differently, but that’s a minor quibble. Mix is good, voices are lovely (but sometimes a little undersupported), playing is professional grade. That final chord with the echoes is cool. Good work!

Glen Raphael - wedding day
As mentioned above, I find naming the song Wedding Day, and just saying it with no lead in feels lazy (it bothers me more here than in the vowel sounds song). That said, this song is wonderfully sincere. I LOVE the addition of the strings synth. The cresc thing you do is great. This song makes me a little sad, but that’s not your fault. Your vocal harmonies are really beautiful, and your lyrics are both funny and meaningful.

Nick Work - Long Way to go
This is my favorite song of yours that I’ve heard yet. Your other stuff has been not my thing, but this ones on my list of tops for this round. The double vocals are really pleasingly tight. “Filled with shadows of doubt” is a really great line. Your high harmony on the later Choruses is great, too. It’s a bop. I’ll probably put this in the perm collection. I will say the challenge is a little vague, even in the bio. Not sure if this would be sung at any specific event.

Ggs - bride
Hands down my favorite. When I first heard this I thought, oh, the munsters/Adams family do a wedding! But as I listened more, I really started to hear the words, the music, for themselves. It’s really beautiful. (You might have the advantage of contrast in pool full of similarly cheerful songs, but I still think yours is really good). The opening chord with the 9th does a really good job of setting up the song. The melody is enchanting, a good use of the scale you’re in. The latin is really well conceived, and the choir backing vocals are a wonderful touch. My only complaint is I want it to be longer, so I can enjoy it more. I think having another of the chorus at the end would have been good. Your vocal production is excellent; well supported, and a really lovely tone.

Outlier - congratulations
This is a very genuine song; I can really hear the emotion in your voice. Even the rather hokey bits add to that feeling, like when you go to talking on ‘you’re the best i ever seen guys.’ “Call you all my daughters and sons” is kind of a clunky line, and breaks me out of the moment. Your voice is good, but you’re supporting with your throat, not your breath. That’s a recipe for long term vocal damage. I recommend more breathing exercises in your warm up before recording, and breath into your pelvic floor for the high notes. A fun song, but not one I keep coming back to.

Steve Stern’s- people be kind
Very Elton, with hints of Newman. A perfectly good song, but not one I look forward to each time. It’s very heavy on the singer/piano songwriter thing than can get a little bangy. This is genre bias! You did good work, as it is really well put together and sing alright. Like Outlyer, though, you are supporting from your throat more than your breath, which can cause problems down the road. Deeper breaths and placing the sound resonance higher in your head will help you with those high notes. Side note: really not sure what kind of event you are going for. Seems a little vague.

Bobby BucketHat - perfect together
You nailed the uplifting wedding song without going too saccharinely sweet. Like the last two, you need a lower breath and more support (are you sitting up straight when you sing this?), cause the sound is quite strained, and it’s affecting your pitch control. This is especially apparent because of your backing vocals- Everything a little off in different directions, and the more vocal lines, the more noticeable it is. Clean up the vocals, though, and this would be a great slow dance song at a wedding.

FJ - The matter doesn’t matter
This reminds me at once of your no memory and your mr. Belew never knew the guy. It’s very iconically your sound. The Vibraphone and solo break is really nice- great sounds you’ve brought together there. I love the chorus. The line “all we are we is what we took place” is great, so succinctly sums up the song, and a philosophy. Singing, beautiful, playing, excellent. Well done.

Ross Durand - follow your heart
This song doesn’t explicitly say what it’s about, and there’s no bio, but this is so clearly a coming of age song. The G&G fits the sonic picture your painting quite well, and the way you expand the band in the bridge makes a great contrast. You do a good job taking that energy into the last chorus, not letting it fall away. Good harmony vocals, too.

GD - hello Kansas City
I was really baffled by this song until I read the bio. It makes sense! Though I interpreted this challenge to be from the advice giver, I suppose there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be from the POV of the person going out into the world. The playing is really tight, but the vocals... I know that’s an effect you’re going for, but the sound is breathy and pinched. I think you can get a similar sound without so much pressure on your vocal folds. That will help with the harmonies not quite locking in with each other.

Jerkatorium - something right
This is very clearly about what it’s about, and it’s def uplifting (I think someone on the LP said, ‘asking Jerkatorium to write an upbeat song is asking Jerkatorium to write a song’). This starts very very very much like Matchy matchy’s Internet sensation, and kept evoking it for me (Chumpy, am I right in thinking that’s your solo act?). This has a great trajectory, and as always is well produced. I’m a fan of Ryan’s backing vocals; I know they’re processed, and I love how you processed them. It’s like a velvety robot. I’m not bothered by you fittingasmanysyllablesasyoucan into the chorus. It fits.

Jocko - I changed my name
CLOSE second for my favorite of the round. This is also my favorite of any of your songs. It’s silly and fun, and well thought out. The flat note in the main theme is SO DELICIOUS, especially in the very beginning, when you’ve set us up to expect very simple traditional chords and scales. It’s that kind of delicate handling of dissonance that In my mind makes a composer great. It’s fun! Having the verses talk makes an unexpected contrast that is fun to listen to. Music, great music, is setting up an expectation and then breaking it. You do that really well here. This goes in my perm collection.
Addendum: I just read your song bio and it makes me love it EVEN MORE

Menage - I wish you well
A sweet song, and I am a fan of uplifting songs about death. Your vocal control and pitch is really good in this song! Ike’s irk me, not your fault, just a bias on my part. It’s a good song.

Ménage - rainbow bridge
Do you like making me cry? ;)
Here’s an emotional map of me listening to this song:
Oh this is fun, a nice song about a doggo doing fun doggo thing, living his best li- OH GOD IT GOT SAD PUPPER NOOOOOO- aww *sniff* happy dog doing happy things *sniffle* in heaven *tear rolls Down cheek* with angel cats *sobbing*

Temnere - unbreakable
RAAAAAWWWW YEAH GOOD ROCK this along with GGS offered the most variety in sound. I really love your stuff, and this is especially well crafted. Inspirational metal is a wonderful genre. Not surprised you got out of the shadows and did so well! Perm collection.

Mandibles- you are free
This is truth’s baby, and he did some really good work on this. I’m happy with the mix and the backing vocals, which were my contribution (Estaphonia is also on backing vocals). I think it captures the mood of the occasion it’s about well, but is also vague enough to be played just in general. Good work, truth!

Just ducky - wash your hands
2 weeks late but worth the wait! I live everything in and about this song. Perm collection

Qualifiers - impossible journey
This song is a bit of a laundry list of the puns in phantom tollbooth. It’s cute, but it is too repetitive. It would have been nice to have more musical contrast. Maybe a B theme in the dominant key. I like your horns!
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
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Re: Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by Cybronica »

I am not a judge, but I did enjoy reviewing your songs! :)

Spintunes 16 3

Vowel Sounds - Graduation day
I really like your voices together in the chorus, and the doubled vocal harmonies in the verses are great. I especially like polyphonic harmony lines you have going. This song is a bit saccharine, but thats basically what this challenge is, right? I am not inclined to like that you put in the title just as “graduation day”- it feels a little obvious, almost jingly. Maybe if you had approached it differently, but that’s a minor quibble. Mix is good, voices are lovely (but sometimes a little undersupported), playing is professional grade. That final chord with the echoes is cool. Good work!

Glen Raphael - wedding day
As mentioned above, I find naming the song Wedding Day, and just saying it with no lead in feels lazy (it bothers me more here than in the vowel sounds song). That said, this song is wonderfully sincere. I LOVE the addition of the strings synth. The cresc thing you do is great. This song makes me a little sad, but that’s not your fault. Your vocal harmonies are really beautiful, and your lyrics are both funny and meaningful.

Nick Work - Long Way to go
This is my favorite song of yours that I’ve heard yet. Your other stuff has been not my thing, but this ones on my list of tops for this round. The double vocals are really pleasingly tight. “Filled with shadows of doubt” is a really great line. Your high harmony on the later Choruses is great, too. It’s a bop. I’ll probably put this in the perm collection. I will say the challenge is a little vague, even in the bio. Not sure if this would be sung at any specific event.

Ggs - bride
Hands down my favorite. When I first heard this I thought, oh, the munsters/Adams family do a wedding! But as I listened more, I really started to hear the words, the music, for themselves. It’s really beautiful. (You might have the advantage of contrast in pool full of similarly cheerful songs, but I still think yours is really good). The opening chord with the 9th does a really good job of setting up the song. The melody is enchanting, a good use of the scale you’re in. The latin is really well conceived, and the choir backing vocals are a wonderful touch. My only complaint is I want it to be longer, so I can enjoy it more. I think having another of the chorus at the end would have been good. Your vocal production is excellent; well supported, and a really lovely tone.

Outlier - congratulations
This is a very genuine song; I can really hear the emotion in your voice. Even the rather hokey bits add to that feeling, like when you go to talking on ‘you’re the best i ever seen guys.’ “Call you all my daughters and sons” is kind of a clunky line, and breaks me out of the moment. Your voice is good, but you’re supporting with your throat, not your breath. That’s a recipe for long term vocal damage. I recommend more breathing exercises in your warm up before recording, and breath into your pelvic floor for the high notes. A fun song, but not one I keep coming back to.

Steve Stern’s- people be kind
Very Elton, with hints of Newman. A perfectly good song, but not one I look forward to each time. It’s very heavy on the singer/piano songwriter thing than can get a little bangy. This is genre bias! You did good work, as it is really well put together and sing alright. Like Outlyer, though, you are supporting from your throat more than your breath, which can cause problems down the road. Deeper breaths and placing the sound resonance higher in your head will help you with those high notes. Side note: really not sure what kind of event you are going for. Seems a little vague.

Bobby BucketHat - perfect together
You nailed the uplifting wedding song without going too saccharinely sweet. Like the last two, you need a lower breath and more support (are you sitting up straight when you sing this?), cause the sound is quite strained, and it’s affecting your pitch control. This is especially apparent because of your backing vocals- Everything a little off in different directions, and the more vocal lines, the more noticeable it is. Clean up the vocals, though, and this would be a great slow dance song at a wedding.

FJ - The matter doesn’t matter
This reminds me at once of your no memory and your mr. Belew never knew the guy. It’s very iconically your sound. The Vibraphone and solo break is really nice- great sounds you’ve brought together there. I love the chorus. The line “all we are we is what we took place” is great, so succinctly sums up the song, and a philosophy. Singing, beautiful, playing, excellent. Well done.

Ross Durand - follow your heart
This song doesn’t explicitly say what it’s about, and there’s no bio, but this is so clearly a coming of age song. The G&G fits the sonic picture your painting quite well, and the way you expand the band in the bridge makes a great contrast. You do a good job taking that energy into the last chorus, not letting it fall away. Good harmony vocals, too.

GD - hello Kansas City
I was really baffled by this song until I read the bio. It makes sense! Though I interpreted this challenge to be from the advice giver, I suppose there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be from the POV of the person going out into the world. The playing is really tight, but the vocals... I know that’s an effect you’re going for, but the sound is breathy and pinched. I think you can get a similar sound without so much pressure on your vocal folds. That will help with the harmonies not quite locking in with each other.

Jerkatorium - something right
This is very clearly about what it’s about, and it’s def uplifting (I think someone on the LP said, ‘asking Jerkatorium to write an upbeat song is asking Jerkatorium to write a song’). This starts very very very much like Matchy matchy’s Internet sensation, and kept evoking it for me (Chumpy, am I right in thinking that’s your solo act?). This has a great trajectory, and as always is well produced. I’m a fan of Ryan’s backing vocals; I know they’re processed, and I love how you processed them. It’s like a velvety robot. I’m not bothered by you fittingasmanysyllablesasyoucan into the chorus. It fits.

Jocko - I changed my name
CLOSE second for my favorite of the round. This is also my favorite of any of your songs. It’s silly and fun, and well thought out. The flat note in the main theme is SO DELICIOUS, especially in the very beginning, when you’ve set us up to expect very simple traditional chords and scales. It’s that kind of delicate handling of dissonance that In my mind makes a composer great. It’s fun! Having the verses talk makes an unexpected contrast that is fun to listen to. Music, great music, is setting up an expectation and then breaking it. You do that really well here. This goes in my perm collection.
Addendum: I just read your song bio and it makes me love it EVEN MORE

Menage - I wish you well
A sweet song, and I am a fan of uplifting songs about death. Your vocal control and pitch is really good in this song! Ike’s irk me, not your fault, just a bias on my part. It’s a good song.

Ménage - rainbow bridge
Do you like making me cry? ;)
Here’s an emotional map of me listening to this song:
Oh this is fun, a nice song about a doggo doing fun doggo thing, living his best li- OH GOD IT GOT SAD PUPPER NOOOOOO- aww *sniff* happy dog doing happy things *sniffle* in heaven *tear rolls Down cheek* with angel cats *sobbing*

Temnere - unbreakable
RAAAAAWWWW YEAH GOOD ROCK this along with GGS offered the most variety in sound. I really love your stuff, and this is especially well crafted. Inspirational metal is a wonderful genre. Not surprised you got out of the shadows and did so well! Perm collection.

Mandibles- you are free
This is truth’s baby, and he did some really good work on this. I’m happy with the mix and the backing vocals, which were my contribution (Estaphonia is also on backing vocals). I think it captures the mood of the occasion it’s about well, but is also vague enough to be played just in general. Good work, truth!

Just ducky - wash your hands
2 weeks late but worth the wait! I live everything in and about this song. Perm collection

Qualifiers - impossible journey
This song is a bit of a laundry list of the puns in phantom tollbooth. It’s cute, but it is too repetitive. It would have been nice to have more musical contrast. Maybe a B theme in the dominant key. I like your horns!
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
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Re: Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by BoffoYux »

ST16R3 Reviews - Joe 'Covenant' Lamb

Hello all.

This round was difficult in a way. Beyond my top three I found it VERY hard to separate the rest of the pack. Tiny things made differences. But, (sorry) the drop from third to fourth was marked. For a round made of supposed uplifting songs, I just didn't feel it. Can a slow song be uplifting, yes, in a "You'll never walk alone" sort of way - but most of the songs in this round were just too slow and a bit cloiched, frankly to be uplifting at all.
(Or maybe I'm just too down because the entire family (except me) are down with the lurgy and I'm knackered)

Anyway, for better or worse.. here's mine in order of preference...


Ross Durand - Follow Your Heart 03:13
Ross... I would have loved to have sung this...
The 3/4 eight to the key change worked, but would have worked being a little longer.
This is my winner.
(And Ross, if it's not too cheeky... I'd love to have a go at this one.)

Jerkatorium - Something Right 02:28
Bouncy, fun, actually 'sounds' like a celebratory song.
They-Might-Be-Giants-ish... Well played and sung...
Hard top say anything else about this!
Really close to being my top pick.. REALLY close.

Temnere - Unbreakable 03:57
Wonderfully played... musically excellent.
(Really pleased to see you guys come back into the fray. (Manowar? More like TYR to me!
But again, vocals too low in the mix. And the chorus has the cheesiest of lines.. followed by a damned inspiring one! This is top three stuff! (But where was my hard rocking mid song instrumental and searing guitar solo???!!!)

Glen Raphael - Wedding Day 03:14
What do you get when you cross Edric Haleen with Brian Gray?
Beautifully played, well sung AND well mixed. I'd love to hear this redone as a straight song.
Shame about the very end.

Nick Work - Long Way (To Go) 03:30
Had throw the sound up for this one.
Nice build as well as some metaphors and stuff.
Reminds me of early Rush! Instrumental section should have been longer and more ambitious!
The key change just before the 3m mark was nice, but would have worked better in the middle of the song, for me.

Steve Stearns - People Be Kind 03:35
Check title.. No this ISN'T Dave Leigh!
Neither is it Mid Eighties Supertramp!
(I also thought it was gonna start with "People need hope.. people need loving..." (Abba))
Or Dean Freidman, or Randy Newman... I think that was my problem, it was like so many other things it seemed unoriginal. Good, mid-level, song.

Faster Jackelope - The Matter Doesn't Matter 03:52
I like traffic lights... (that is what I said).
(Lyric on page doesn't gel with lyric on page but that's all the better for it.)
Musically ambitious and it works, the lyric strays a bit, as do the vocals.
Interesting entropic end, but sort of ruins the song.

Vowl Sounds - Graduation Day 03:28
A decent, run of the mill, pop rock song.
Reminded me of someone but for the life of me can't think who.
But again with the vocals fighting to be heard above the music at times.
I could not make out a word of the middle (3/4s) eight.
From what I could hear of the BVs they sounded well done. Good song, mix needs redone.

Good Guy Sôjàbé - Bride 03:10
Ooooo sound effects! I always like a good sound effect!
Shades of Sisters of Mercy and that ilk... I liked it, but I kept waiting for it to get going, and it never did.It just didn't gel with me guys, sorry.

Governing Dynamics - Hello Kansas City 04:00
Is that line a quote? (Hello Kansas City you really showed up)" cos its a strange lyric to have written. A bit unwieldy. If it's not a quote, oh well... If it is... maybe shouldn't have hooked the song around it? It's all a bit.. bitsy and never really seems to get going, even with the "I'll ride this feeling" section which could have really taken off.

"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Perfect Together 05:09
OKay, this was not what I was expecting from Mr Matheson...
But, that's nothing to do with the judging.
The whole thing (vocally) sounds forced, and for over 5 minutes, it was just too much.
BVs were all over the place, a bit sloppy to be honest ( :( sorry) choice of instrument didn't help, especially as a solo instrument.
Should have finished at 3:22.

OutLyer - Congratulations 02:48
lyric is a wee bit tortured in places, but the music is gorgeous.
The melody just seems to basic for such a rich background.


THE SHADOWS
(No Cliff Richard, though)


Jocko Homomorphism - I Changed My Name (SHADOW) 03:05
Bouncy electro-pop - loved it - til the vocals came in. Nothing against the subject at all... But basing a whole song on "long" "strong" "song" "name" "same", just didn't hold me at all.

Menage A Tune - I Wish You Well (SHADOW) 02:04
Gimme a Gospel Chorus singing this! And it might just work!
This would have top five'd and is the best Menage a Tune song I have ever heard, ...

Menage A Tune - Rainbow Bridge (SHADOW) 01:16
... which is unfortunately followed by this one.
I can hear the heart behind this, but it doesn't work as a song, I'm afraid.
And the second half... okay... I see what you're doing, but...

Mandibles - You Are Free (SHADOW) 03:55
I loved this. Absolutely loved it. This would have won this round for me.
Well played, well sung, well mixed, great voals and better, great lyirc - poingnant without being cheesy or cliched. Superb. (But the BVs near the end almost blow it... mix em down a bit!

The Brewhouse Sessions - You Are The Shining Star (SHADOW) 04:24
Musically excellent (Although George Harrison might sue you for nicking "My Sweet Lord" :). Lyrically weak - not very uplifting however, seems way too plodding, and although it's only just over four minutes it seems way too long. (And I think you 'know' the "So many questions, no answers, rhythm, or rhyme " line doesn't work to well...)

Just Ducky - Wash Your Hands (SHADOW) 02:17
How very topical!
Kraftwerk do Public Information Films!
I kinda liked this... but then I'm weird.
(If this was Uber Auto-tuned (To beyond Cher standards) I think it would work even MORE!)
And the last line was superb. Uplifting, not really, so it would have been a DQ for me.. but as a song? Might have squeeeezed into the top five!

The Quantifiers - The Impossible Journey (SHADOW) 02:56
Okay... let's talk "Phantom Tollbooth" I know both the book and the movie very well. So I appreciate the BARRAGE of references in this song. But that's it's problem. It's too dense and just become a list of things that happen. It's too simplistic and the lyric gets more and more tortured as it goes on.
I think you probably spent more time trying to work the book/film into the song, than you could have saved by just writing a song NOT about The Phantom Tollbooth.
There's a lesson there...
(L-e-s-s-o-n... Lesson.)
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Re: Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by BoffoYux »

ST16R3 Reviews - Micah Sommersmith
Preamble

Before I dig into each individual song, I’d like to make some broader comments that will be more or less applicable to each song. In this round, we’ve asked you to write an “uplifting” song appropriate for a public event. Essentially we’ve asked you to write a song that is 1) emotionally impactful to 2) ideally, a broad group of people. (This is especially true for those who have gone with graduation/coming-of-age type events; weddings and funerals [or in one case, a wedding-funeral] are a little different, which I’ll get to.)

Writers (including songwriters) are often given the advice to be specific rather than general. This is certainly true in prose fiction - the details are what make a reader actually interested in the story. Leonard Cohen has been quoted giving the songwriting advice that "your most particular answer will be your most universal one." It certainly worked for him - in a song like Cohen’s “Suzanne”, we remember the “tea and oranges that come all the way from China”, and the constant references to boats and rivers and harbors and seaweed set the scene and paint a vivid picture even if you’re not exactly sure what the hell the song is actually “about”.

But I don’t think that specific > general is actually always the right way of thinking about making sure your songs make an impression. Too much specificity means the audience can’t actually relate to the situation depicted. After all, the songs we remember most from musicals often don’t say much about the details of the plot. In the context of the film The Wizard of Oz, “Over the Rainbow” is about a young farm girl wanting to escape her dreary life on the family farm in Kansas and the oppressive meddling of her unpleasant neighbor, but removed from the context of the film, it’s about anyone wanting to escape any negative situation in favor of some imagined better alternative. If the lyrics had gone into detail about the drudgery of her chores or the nagging interference of Miss Gulch, the song wouldn’t have the universal relevance and staying power that it does.

Likewise, if your coming-of-age song includes too many specific details about your adolescent problems or your hopes for the future, it might not have any relevance to me and my (possibly very different) experience. So we want to extract the commonalities of our experiences in order to come up with a song that’s meaningful to both of us (and hopefully everyone else). The danger, of course, is in going too far in the other direction: you end up speaking in empty generalities that don’t mean anything to anyone at all.

The solution is not specific > general, but rather concrete > abstract. Dorothy doesn’t imagine a better life “somewhere else” but “somewhere over the rainbow”. Her troubles won’t “disappear”, they’ll “melt like lemon drops”. The metaphor of physical ascent is consistent throughout, and supported by concrete images: clouds behind me, above the chimney tops, bluebirds flying.

So one good strategy for writing an effectively affecting song is to focus on a general desire, feeling, or experience that many will relate to, and consistently supporting it with concrete and memorable imagery. I will refer to the specific/general and concrete/abstract distinctions throughout many of my individual reviews, but this is just one strategy, not necessarily appropriate for all songs, even all songs in this round. Sometimes other considerations will be more relevant.

At this point, you’ve made it through two rounds and proven yourselves in the top half of an already very talented group of songwriters. Judging gets harder at this point, and judges might be using very different criteria, resulting in wide discrepancies in the results. Like always, I struggled in weighing the importance of the challenge - and whether the song was truly appropriate for the type of public event it was written for - against other considerations of song quality.

I wrote reviews before assigning my final rankings, and I apologize if you don’t see justification for your ranking within the review I wrote. All that said, here we go.

Official Entries
in ascending order of excellence:


12. Glen Raphael - Wedding Day
The singer doth protest too much, methinks. I won’t call for your disqualification, because I’m sure there are plenty of couples that would think it was hilarious if you sang this at their wedding. But you’d damn well better make sure before you do!

I predict that each attendee at an actual wedding will react in one of four ways to this song, depending on whether they like the song or not, and whether they get the joke or not, as laid out in this chart:
glen chart.jpg
glen chart.jpg (138.6 KiB) Viewed 1185 times
Ideally all responses would be in the top left quadrant, but given how many couples choose “Every Breath You Take” for their first dance, I wouldn’t count it.

As for the quality of the song, aside from the validity of its central concept - it shares strengths and weaknesses with most other Glen Raphael songs I’ve heard. I’m starting to recognize melodic Glen-isms - such as the melody on “Just a silly story that you’ve heard” - that make the music predictable enough to not be particularly interesting. I know that you have a pretty firmly established style in which you do very well, but I wouldn’t complain about a little more experimentation.

11. OutLyer - Congratulations
Here are lyrics that come off as sincere and heartfelt but suffer from a lack of concrete images or specific details. Aside from the rhymes, the lyrics sound exactly like something a teacher would say with no planning or preparation to their students. One pleasure of hearing well-crafted lyrics is having a familiar feeling or experience presented in an unfamiliar or unexpected way, making you look at it in a different light and maybe gain some new insight from it. This song presents a familiar feeling in a familiar light, and the listener doesn’t gain much as a result.

The music is pretty well done and does serve to elevate the ho-hum lyrics. The sped-up rhythm of “I wish I could call you all my daughters and sons” is a great touch, and you cut out the accompaniment and then bring it back in at just the right times to accentuate it. The repeated descending line on “Follow your dreams” is also a great hook.

You have a great sense for how to build up your instrumentation over the course of the song and maintain interest by varying it. I do think that the thirty seconds of acoustic guitar strumming is unnecessary, and you could find a better way to start things off and keep the listener’s interest before the vocals come in.

10. “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson - Perfect Together
Lyrically, here’s a great example of a song that’s both general and concrete. The lyrics don’t include specific details that identify any particular couple, but the concrete imagery of plants growing together is carried through the first half of the lyrics and makes them memorable and satisfying. The result is a song that any couple in love can relate to. The second half of the lyrics, starting with “With these rings / you will tie” wanders into more generic wedding cliché territory - I’d recommend cutting it altogether except for the repeat of the refrain after the instrumental verse. This would both improve the lyrical focus and shorten the 5-minute runtime to something a little more manageable.

Musically, the melody and instrumentation are certainly appropriate to this genre. The finger-picking guitar comes off somewhat clumsy, and the droning accordion doesn’t add much. I’d rather the accordion be given more to do, or else give that part to a synth pad or something similarly less harsh.

The vocal performance is very strained, which I think might be solved by transposing to a lower key. The lead and backing vocals are not very well coordinated, either pitch-wise or timing-wise - maybe a result of insufficient time to teach yourself the song. If you’re still rehearsing as you’re recording, the end result isn’t necessarily going to be great.

9. Governing Dynamics - Hello Kansas City
This is maybe the most left-field concept in the fight, but it’s a great idea and it fits the challenge. The drums and guitar harmonics that start the song off are instantly catchy, and the energy stays up for the whole duration of the song, although the song may overstay its welcome somewhat - I think you could go right from the “ride this feeling to the moon” bridge to the final “Goodnight Kansas City” chorus, omitting the noodly instrumental bit and the cluttered, messy-sounding overlapping vocal section.

The melody doesn’t stick in my head between listens, and I have the same problems with your voice that I usually do - it feels strained even when the melody doesn’t demand that you work that hard. I don’t know exactly what advice to give other than “Sing more like you did on your Bob Dylan tribute” (not a sentence one hears often).

8. Temnere - Unbreakable
I’m not clear on what specific type of real-world public event this would be appropriate for, but it is certainly anthemic. The soaring chorus could be appropriate for an epic sing-along, although the sprawling metal song structure means the chorus is not as prominent as it might be in a simpler song.

You are obviously a talented musician and a skilled producer, as evidenced by your consistently high-quality performances and mixes, which makes it all the more frustrating that the piano in this song sounds so stiff and lifeless. Whether it was sequenced or played on a keyboard with no velocity sensitivity and then quantized to hell, it just sounds entirely artificial. It wouldn’t be such a big deal except you start with the piano alone and end with it as the only instrument under the vocals, and maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal if the piano part didn’t feature so many repeated block chords. Every other musical element feels organic and dynamic, and the piano under everything else within the full band arrangement is fine since it’s not featured prominently, but otherwise the piano makes a bad first and last impression.

7. Steve Stearns - People Be Kind
The influence of the artists that you mention in your song bio is definitely evident, such that the song almost feels more like a pastiche than an original work. It is certainly competently put together and you do a good job capturing the melodic and harmonic language you’re going for, although the piano feels very rigid. It’s not an issue when it’s part of a full band instrumentation, but when it’s the piano on its own, the stiffness in both rhythm and dynamics is very noticeable.

Thematically, the lyrics fit in with the style, and the sentiment is lovely but the lack of concrete images means they don’t make much of an impression. I’d love it if there was a central image or metaphor that the lyrics were built around (like “Grandma’s Hands” or “Lean on Me” which you cite as inspirations), but instead we have “People gotta be kind to each other”, which I don’t disagree with but which doesn’t inspire me either.

6. Ross Durand - Follow Your Heart
“Life transition as leap” is a tried and true image, and the first verse employs it well. The lyrics offer familiar, dare I say cliché, advice. The one line that sticks out as a somewhat original thought is “You’re moving forward, not forgetting.” There’s something interesting there!

There is a small but neat formal trick you employ in your lyrics: chiasmus, in which you repeat ideas in the form ABBA (no, not the band). So your chorus begins “Follow your heart / follow your dream” and ends “Follow your dream / follow your heart.” It gives the chorus a sense of completeness. Again, it’s a small thing but it’s nice.

Your vocal melody is strong, although I’m pretty sure I’ve heard the melody of the hook “So just follow your heart” somewhere else. The vocal range for the verses is quite low - scraping the bottom of your usable range especially on the falling figure e.g. on “between” in the first verse. The bridge and chorus are much higher in your range, and you pull them off. I’ll give you credit for writing a song with a large overall vocal range, and finding the right key to make it fit your voice.

The vocal delivery is confident and on-pitch although there’s some questionable rhythmic delivery - maybe you’re still getting to know the melody as you record it. Minor differences in the lyrics as typed and sung might suggest this also.

The instrumentation and overall verse-chorus-bridge form don’t feature any surprises, although I do like how the bridge leads directly into the chorus and keeps the energy up.

Overall, this comes across as very earnest and genuine if not particularly original.

5. Vowl Sounds - Graduation Day
It’s always nice to hear Owl and Vom’s voices together, and they blend very nicely here. The music is suitably upbeat and anthemic for the momentous occasion, and the “graduation day!” hook sticks easily.

The lyrics of the first verse are pretty relentlessly negative and dismissive of the very idea of the education system. They’re good lyrics and I don’t necessarily disagree with the premise (and have written some similar lyrics myself), but I don’t think this challenge is the place for them. There are ways to acknowledge the frustrations and difficulties of school without throwing the whole institution under the bus (heh).

“You haven't met everyone who will love you yet” is a great line and a great sentiment, and the bridge provides a nice lull before bringing the energy back for the last chorus. Omitting the title hook from the second chorus going into the bridge and making the listener wait all the way until the end of the song is a clever trick to keep the listener engaged.

4. Good Guy Sôjàbé - Bride
This definitely feels like it’s skirting the intent of the challenge. Maybe there are a few actual people deep enough into this particular subculture that they’d play this at their wedding (or, hell, their funeral), but this is a cop out; you know it and I know it. The problem is that it’s also a really good song.

Musically, this is impeccable: the vocal performances are excellent, the melodies are catchy, the production is lush and it’s all in service of the specific atmosphere you’re going for.

Lyrically, it’s great too, again in service of the overall theme. I have three complaints about the lyrics, all of which you may consider petty as hell.

It’s been a while since I took high school Latin, but that Latin sentence does not seem right to me. “Somnum” is a noun in the accusative case but there’s no verb for it to be the direct object of. “Mea” is the adjective “my”/”mine” but there’s no noun for it to modify. “Vos” is plural, not singular, “you”. “Quia” is the conjunction “because”/”for” but there’s only one verb so there aren’t actually two clauses to conjoin… But I allow the possibility that your knowledge of Latin is actually much more sophisticated than mine, everything is well-formed and I’m just dumb.
Clearly she is dead, but it’s unclear about him - you have the line “Walk down the aisle in my afterlife” implying they will be together when they’re both dead, but you also have “tonight I summon thee / and bond your soul to me” implying they’ll be together while he’s still alive?
Thee vs. you. Pick one and stick with it. Using “thee” inconsistently for effect is lazy. If you don’t actually know how thou/thee works, don’t use it.


3. Nick Work - Long Way (To Go)
“Life as journey” is not the most original concrete image, but it is a concrete image, and it's supported through the lyrics. Similar to your round 1 entry, a very strong title hook makes the song instantly memorable, and the verse lyrics, while not groundbreaking, are fun to sing along to, and I always appreciate a consistent ABAB rhyme scheme. I especially like the bartered/learned/faltered/turned verse.

I don't like the off-beat acoustic guitar that opens the song. It works fine within the full band sound you bring in later, but it's grating to listen to on its own. I like starting with less complex instrumentation and building it up as the song progresses, but I didn't like this specific choice. Otherwise, the instruments are great - the lead guitar riffs that fill in the empty space between vocal lines are very tasty - the lack thereof was a (minor) complaint of mine about your first round entry, so I'll happily imagine that my advice is being taken to heart.

2. Jerkatorium - Something Right
This entry eschews advice and sentimentality, instead delivering a song that sounds like graduation feels (at least in the popular imagination) - exuberant, relieved, with an eye to the future but mostly enjoying the moment. Of course this choice plays to your strengths and you pull it off very well. The tasty musical quote from “Pomp and Circumstance” is the icing on the cake.

Ending the chorus on the dominant chord on the word “right” instead of resolving to the tonic is an interesting choice - it sort of caught me off guard even when I knew it was coming, but I suppose it serves to keep the song moving forward and rolling right into the next section, rather than resolving and losing energy.

Ryan’s aversion to anyone hearing what his voice actually sounds like is well documented, but it seems like the backing vocals are even more buried than usual here. The imitative echo on “Buck up and take heart” is great, and the brilliantly absurd “Ya-hoo!” at the end of the chorus could be a high point of the song, but both moments are so muffled that they barely make an impact. This is disappointing especially since I have firsthand knowledge of the amount you usually tinker with the mix to get every element to stand out.

1. Faster Jackelope - The Matter Doesn’t Matter
Contrary to what I suggested in my preamble, sometimes specific really is better than general - especially when you are paying tribute to a particular person. Of course you don’t offer many biographical details, but the lyrics do a great job conveying a particular point of view that respects the mystery of life and death but doesn’t take it too seriously.

I complain a lot about “call and response with no response” but here in the verses you actually do it well, as each vocal line is followed by a catchy instrumental line featuring your trademark interlocking guitar parts. The verse vocal melody itself is not particularly interesting, but the chorus melody is great - the contrast in melodic shape and rhythmic density (fast for verses, slow for chorus) makes the chorus stand out.

There are some discrepancies between the lyrics as typed and the lyrics as sung. In these cases I usually judge by what I hear, which is lucky for you: “Paste together dust of stars” is an extremely dumb line; “Paste together the dust of all the stars” is fine. There is some awkward vocal delivery in the second pre-chorus on the line “free parking AND baby kittens”, which stands out because your vocal work is usually impeccable. Otherwise I don’t really have any complaints about this song - it’s beautiful and heartfelt and the performance and production is up to your very high standards.


SHADOWS
unranked:


Jocko Homomorphism - I Changed My Name
I don’t know why no one else went for straight-up dance music this round. This is brilliant - the choice of subject matter is inspired, the sung lyrics celebrate the feelings involved, and invite the listener to join in the celebration (“Come sing my song”), but also hint at the defiance required to go through with it (“Now say my name” … “There is no shame”).

The spoken lyrics are fun - but I’m curious about Jocko and Goobus’s relationship. Coworkers? Roommates? They see each other two days in a row, and they’re close enough that Jocko is sharing the details of, and their feelings about, the name change - but not so close that Goobus actually accompanied Jocko to either the courthouse or the club.

The music is eminently danceable and maintains a strong beat while also containing enough variation to keep the interest up off the dancefloor.

I had an idea of the kind of song I was hoping this challenge would produce. This was not it at all - it’s better.

Menage A Tune - I Wish You Well
A jaunty country tune. It feels like this song can’t decide if it’s a joke or not. That might sound hypocritical coming from me, but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to laugh at the “heaven or hell” and “meet your fate” lines or not.

Menage A Tune - Rainbow Bridge
Impressive adaptation of the toy melody, and great contrasting moods - the somber piano middle section gives added weight and melancholy to the return of the upbeat section.

Mandibles - You Are Free
This is exactly what I was hoping for from this challenge - a beautiful, memorable, uplifting tune celebrating the moment and looking to the future. The interconnection of freedom and responsibility is a great idea to explore. The religious element is clear to a listener who’s also active in that world (me), but I think (or hope) the song communicates and is meaningful to non-religious people as well.

The Brewhouse Sessions - You Are The Shining Star
There’s a lot of familiar coming-of-age language in here, but the central idea - “Be your shining star and follow your own lead” sticks out as its own idea. Nice job.

Just Ducky - Wash Your Hands
As a compulsive hand-washer myself, I appreciate your sharing this important message with the rest of the SpinTunes world!

The Quantifiers - The Impossible Journey
Song sing-along melody, especially the choruses. The verses drag on a bit too long, some lines end with one-syllable words e.g. “strife” that get dragged out unnaturally. The brass sounds are surprisingly pleasant to listen to. This could serve as a solid conclusion to your PT cycle - will you find a way to continue in Round 4??? I hope so!
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Re: Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by BoffoYux »

ST16R3 Reviews - Dave Leigh
A congratulations to Temnere on reinstatement this round!

I'll be right up-front about it and say that this time I'm looking for sincerity. It's tough, I know, but that's kind of what you were asked to DO, so I'm giving special props to the people who did did it. You were asked for an uplifting song, not cynicism disguised as such. So if you're one of the ones who just said, "I'm going to ignore the sickly sweetness of it all and jump into the treacle with both feet," rest assured your dedication to the craft will be rewarded here.

And yes, we're asking you to convey specific emotions rather than deliver on a specific topic, and quite rightly so. Often, professional musicians are asked to do exactly that. John Williams doesn't get to determine what the characters on the screen feel. He's given an emotional spec and writes to it. In an earlier review I mentioned that the difference between Craft and Art is that Art deliberately conveys emotion. Well, Great Art deliberately conveys an emotion that the artist doesn't necessarily feel. It's a combination of Art and Craft.


OFFICIAL ENTRIES
(presented in "revised album order", after Temnere's reinstatement)


1. Vowl Sounds - Graduation Day 03:28
While the music here is infectious, there's a certain amount of cynicism mixed in with the good advice. It will rank well, but not at the top for me. The only thing that bothers me in an otherwise excellent delivery is the last syllable of "It's Graduation Day", in which your throat sounds a little constricted, as if you're holding back.

2. Glen Raphael - Wedding Day 03:14
The Anti-Challenge. As so often happens in cases like this, I like the song, but I'm going to rank it pretty low.

3. Nick Work - Long Way (To Go) 03:30
This has a great driving rhythm (which makes it great to play while driving!). I could put it on continuous loop in my car. But now let's look at the lyrics: You've got literally one verse (the last) that conveys hope. The rest of it is filled with "shadows of doubt", "covered in mud", "you will not discover / the meaning of life", and of course, "got a long way to go". It's a really good song, but others answer the challenge better.

4. Good Guy Sôjàbé - Bride 03:10
Oddly and bizarrely (given everything I've written above), this ranks very highly with me. Not only do I like the Bowie vibe, but there's nothing really insincere about it. From the point of view of the singer, this is nothing but hopeful and forward-looking. MAJOR kudos for finding a way to put a dark spin on this round while simulaneously managing to bullseye the challenge!

Geek note: I could be happier with the Latin... causation's a little weird and I think the wrong person is sleeping (should be tu nocte somnum, not ego). And you're not going to get "tomorrow" out of what's written. And you're using the plural vos instead of singular tu. Since 'for' here denotes a sense of 'moving forward' rather than actual causation, I'd suggest you drop the conjunction and go with something like "Tu somnum hac nocte; Mea tu cras videbo," literally "You will sleep this night; I will see you tomorrow"), but kudos for the attempt.

5. OutLyer - Congratulations 02:48
This screams sincerity. After three rounds, if I had to describe your style to someone, "cinematic" is the word I'd use. In part it's the judicious use of reverb; in part the choice and variety of instruments. This is the sort of thing you could reasonably expect to hear in a high school sports movie. Delivery-wise -- and this is going to sound stupid, though I don't mean it in any derogatory way -- it sounds exactly like PC Principal if he weren't a dick. Great job!

6. Steve Stearns - People Be Kind 03:35
You don't get more uplifting than gospel. You just don't. With a vocal delivery that channels Randy Newman and piano rock musical structure reminiscent of Elton John's "Take Me to the Pilot", I'm on board. Like Outlyer, you went the completely sincere route. Praise aside, we did ask for a song to be played a specific event. While this is generically uplifting, I can't pin down that event.

7. "BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Perfect Together 05:09
This is a really nice song; sincere, a solid answer to the challenge. Production-wise, it's a bit of a hot mess. You're a bit out of synch as if your background vocalists aren't in the same room. Since they're the same guy, and they're all you, I can't help but think that was avoidable. I'm guessing you haven't played guitar in a while. Me either, and mine would sound like that with the current state of my fingertips. But honestly, Bobby, the only thing that keeps this in the middle of the pack for me is delivery. Love the song.

8. Faster Jackelope - The Matter Doesn't Matter 03:52
This is a pretty good humanistic answer to the challenge. The chorus is an earworm, for sure. The thing is, I'm so busy puzzling it out that I'm not really... uplifted.

9. Ross Durand - Follow Your Heart 03:13
Ahhhh, ROSS. A Song of Wisdom indeed.

10. Governing Dynamics - Hello Kansas City 04:00
This song alone makes me glad we chose this challenge. If you'd asked me two weeks ago what were the odds I'd get toe-tapper from Governing Dynamics and I'd have given you 5-to-1 against.

11. Jerkatorium - Something Right 02:28
I've said it before... asking Jerkatorium to write an upbeat song is like asking Jerkatorium to "write a song". But here we're asking for something not upbeat, but uplifting. This is certainly celebratory. It's happy. It's a lot of postive things. But it's not...quite... the song I'm looking for.

12. Temnere - Unbreakable 03:57
Pure, solid hard rock anthem here. There's a great bit of storytelling here. We don't really know the "circumstance", but we know enough. People are in bondage, and this is some kind of rally or call to action. This is a song to literally lift up the downtrodden spur them on to victory; and MAN, does it work! I always love your vocals, the reason is clear. You just don't hold back. You just shout it out, throat wide open and unobstructed. Mixers have volume controls... you make 'em work.



SHADOWS

13. Jocko Homomorphism - I Changed My Name (SHADOW) 03:05
I have no idea. You're a strange person, Jocko, and I'm glad you're here.

14. Menage A Tune - I Wish You Well (SHADOW) 02:04
In your song bio you say "This is about a graduation. Or for a funeral. Hard to tell which..." That's true. I wish you had committed to one or the other. As a graduation song, it's pretty ominous ("It's time to meet your fate" and "Might be heaven- might be hell"). As a funeral song, it's pretty cavalier ("But no matter where you wind up, I wish you well!"). Thanks for bringing a good bit of diversity to your musical accompaniment this contest... major props to you and your collaborators.

15. Menage A Tune - Rainbow Bridge (SHADOW) 01:16
Aww. Poor Buddy. (I would not have thought to use a busy box toy as accompaniment.)

16. Mandibles - You Are Free (SHADOW) 03:55
From the opening bar with the heavy toms, I felt a Phil Collins influence through this whole piece. This felt very "Tarzan" or "Lion King" to me and frankly it was a toss-up for me as to whether this or Temnere should be reinstated. This is very solid. I especially like that the song casts the Great Commission as high adventure. It's a take I haven't heard. Sometimes the "ahhs" in the background seem to be trying to find their place, and that could possibly be tightened up. Then again, it could be my equipment, or that I'm being very picky.

17. The Brewhouse Sessions - You Are The Shining Star (SHADOW) 04:24
This is a solid, sincere entry. I like that. No dodging or twisting... just plow on through and answer the challenge. The vocal timbre tells me you've still got some issues from that cold, but this is really effective use of Autotune to give us something listenable. As usual, the guitar work is excellent.

18. Just Ducky - Wash Your Hands (SHADOW) 02:17
This is a shadow for the previous round (the one about counting). It's a damned good use of counting. Wash your Hands! Twenty second rule!

19. The Quantifiers - The Impossible Journey (SHADOW) 02:56
One more from The Phantom Tollbooth! This is the best of this series of songs so far, in my opinion.




RANKINGS


This is tough, because I don't really want to let anybody go at this point.
But rules is rules, and we can only let 4 into the final round.

1. Temnere - Unbreakable 03:57
2. Good Guy Sôjàbé - Bride 03:10
3. Steve Stearns - People Be Kind 03:35
4. OutLyer - Congratulations 02:48
5. Ross Durand - Follow Your Heart 03:13
6. Vowl Sounds - Graduation Day 03:28
7. "BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - Perfect Together 05:09
8. Governing Dynamics - Hello Kansas City 04:00
9. Jerkatorium - Something Right 02:28
10. Nick Work - Long Way (To Go) 03:30
11. Faster Jackelope - The Matter Doesn't Matter 03:52
12. Glen Raphael - Wedding Day 03:14
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Re: Spintunes 16 Round 3 "Songs of Wisdom" Reviews

Post by BoffoYux »

ST13R3 Reviews - Mary Ann Randall
There were so many great songs this round – but since it’s a contest, well, they have to be ranked! There’s so much talent here it’s crazy… I hope y’all are copyrighting this stuff. Just sayin’…

Vowl Sounds – having a child graduating high school this year, this song really hit home for me. If we all really admit it, a LOT of what we learn in high school is hard to understand how to apply in real life. I think I heard that a million times from my daughter! Not to mention all the over-romanticized experiences like prom, your senior year, being a cheerleader etc. She cannot WAIT for college. You had me at the line “nobody likes junior high except sychophants and psychopaths.” I only ranked you down a little because of the cynicism was a little too noticeable and graduation is supposed to be a time of pride and inspiration – but you nailed the truth with the lyrics, you really did.

Glen Raphael – Um, I really struggled on how to process this one. Another song where I’m thinking – is this cynical? Is this funny? Is it supposed to let us know it’s going to be ok? I guess it depends on the listener… I don’t know if it would be appropriate for a wedding though. I liked the song, the lyrics versus the tune was just a little confusing to me.

Nick Work – I like the kind of generic inspirational thing going on here, a folk rock let’s go drive somewhere and be free kind of thing. And the guitar solo gave it absolute life. I hope you’re performing this in public, it’s a song that should be shared and I think it would definitely be enjoyed by a wide variety of listeners. Not super sure what “event” I would apply this to though…

Good Guy Sojabe – I am so sorry Dude, even though my inner goth tried to like this I thought the music should have been much darker to go with the lyrics. Another song becoming victim to trying to make the music “relatable” with some pretty dark unrelatable lyrics. This song didn’t need channeling “The Cure” it needed some “Type O Negative”. I’m gonna give you the same advice as I did Tenmere on the last challenge… if you’re gonna pick a lane, pick it and commit!!!

Outlyer – Awwwwwwww the sincerity of this song just tugged at me. It was really a genuinely sweet tribute! I think maybe it was put together in a way that it came across a little clunky and preachy. The only reason I marked it down was I just couldn’t see it performed outside a more “personal” setting like a teacher actually singing to their direct students.

Steve Stearns – Okay so THIS is the narrative for 2020. I love this song! Can I share it?

Bobby Matheson – Another sincere song that tugged at the old heart strings! The singing was pretty raw though, but the song was super heart felt, and I think that was going outside your comfort zone and I felt like it contributed to the song being a little awkward to listen to. Let it go next time and don’t be afraid to show your feelings ❤

Faster Jackalope – I’m gonna confess I had this ranked low the first time I listened to it. But the more I listened to it the more I liked it and started to get it. A little pitchy in a few places but I had to be really really picky this round…

Ross Durand – The tune was pleasant enough – but the singing was a bit pitchy and again I had to be very picky this round. It met the challenge, the song was sweet, the words were everything they needed to be, it was just a little too formulaic for me. But I had to rank it because it’s a contest, and a really really really really tough round at that!!!!

Governing Dynamics – I really enjoyed and got the “driving” feeling from this song. I got what it was about the first time listening and it’s a great tune! The only thing is I feel like it hit that “generic feel good” inspiration and seeing as to how there were SO many great songs this round, I had to apply the “how close did it meet the actual challenge” subject in order to make a ranking.

Jerkatorium - My daughter is graduating this year – and I can actually see us playing this song at her and her friends graduation party – you good if I do that? HAHAHAHA you had me at the break with the sample of pomp and circumstance – brilliant!!

Temnere – I’m so PROUD of you!! No wishy washy commitment on your entry this time and it worked!!! Power ballad at its finest. The only thing I can say is the ended could have been a little stronger strung out on those last few notes, I saw where you were going and it was just a wee abrupt on the very final follow through. Could have been a longer fade out ending with the just the piano as an alternative imo.

Jocko Homomophism – I get it lol but I wasn’t a fan of the tune. I had very high hopes based on the intro and instrumental part but the singing needs some more work to make this work for me.

Menage a Tune – I wish you well – I think this is a nice song, I just think it needs to be performed stronger with a guitar and maybe some drums??

Menage a Tune – Rainbow Bridge – I’m so sorry about your beloved fur baby

Mandibles – This is a great tune – I liked it, I just think it didn’t make it due to relative perspective. Maybe enter it into a future challenge?

Brewhouse – Not bad, just not inspiring.. good lyrics though!

Just Ducky – Um all things considered, should be played at a high volume in every bathroom in America right now!!! Not a contender, but I can see a purpose.

The Quantifiers – I get the theme, but it’s just a no for me this time. Maybe we need a new music genre for this? Librarianist literary musical interpretative?



Best Regards,

Mary Ann Randall
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