SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

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seemanski
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by seemanski »

L.J.P - Hero

I do like the sound you have gotten, it sounds clean and nice. The introduction of the sub was a nice touch. I couldn't help but feel that this was a bit safe, there was no real hook that grabbed me and although it is well produced and there is some great instrumentation it didn't really stand out for me.

thanks, brain - I Should Have Told You

I loved the sound of this, the intro where it sounds like your are getting comfortable on a seat set it up for something that felt live and natural, just like a group of friends sat in a room together recording this in a single take. The music feels really happy and upbeat but the lyrics are quite bleak which is a really nice contrast. I also really liked the way this built from verse to verse, the introduction of the drums then the organ (which sounds lush) and finally the extra backing vocals. The different vocals helped bring this out. I enjoyed this a lot.

Night Sky - Secret Society

There was one thought that popped into my head randomly whilst walking and hearing that funky bass and keys which was this is sounds really sexy. The vocals get me past that and the brass section is awesome, I'm crap with recognising instruments but pretty sure was a sax solo, which was sweet. I liked how in the intro the bass and keys lined up and they veered off to add that really funky bass effect.

Fluke Wilson - Corner Store Jesus

I'm torn with this song, on one hand I really don't like that it has been done with minimal effort (recording wise) but I do like the gritty quality of the vocal because of that. The lyrics are interesting, although I have no idea where the secret element is supposed to fit in. It feels like a Johnny Cash number but because it is pretty repetitive without any change up in instrumentation it gets a bit samey and it sadly lost my interest.

Ominous Ride - Don't Say Anything

Man, that intro is great. I find it a bit frustrating because if it was me I would have milked that "don't don't say anything" for all it is worth. That is a killer hook that felt to me was not utilised. Don't get me wrong I do like the prog rock music with grunge like vocals and the walking to the gate switch up was really nice. It's just my ears pricked up with that opening line and then it was quickly changed into something else and only really emerges again quickly and then before I can get into it, it's gone again.

SunLite - Secrets

I do think that you have got a lot of cool tricks you can dish out. I really like the vocoder and the subs. To me it feels a bit too polished, everything is on the grid and it looses that human element to it. I tend to add a humaniser plugin to the tracks that stick to the grid to give it a more authentic feel. I did feel this was a bit cheesy in places, the stabby synths at the start really didn't do it for me. There is no denying you can mix and arrange but this is a case of taste and this style of music isn't for me I'm afraid.

Mandibles - To Have and to Hide

The panning on the starting vocal is very effective. Reading your liner notes I really like your approach on the lyrics, that's very clever, a bit beyond me my simple brain. The repeating staccato guitars and bass (reminding me of Edge of Seventeen) really work for me, I like them all lot. I also enjoy listening to the multiple vocals. The operatic vocals mixed with the less in your face gentler vocals is a nice touch and fits in with it being different characters. I did have an issue with the rhythm guitars in the first chorus, there was something off about them that felt a bit off, I think they might slip in timing slightly that caught my ear.

Big kudos for the delivery of the line "You know better, than to open up your mouth" that put me on edge and made me think should I write up this review?
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by mholland »

seemanski wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 2:30 pm
Night Sky - Secret Society

There was one thought that popped into my head randomly whilst walking and hearing that funky bass and keys which was this is sounds really sexy. The vocals get me past that and the brass section is awesome, I'm crap with recognising instruments but pretty sure was a sax solo, which was sweet. I liked how in the intro the bass and keys lined up and they veered off to add that really funky bass effect.
Cheers for doing all the reviews. I hope by "the vocals get me past that" you mean they maintain your attention rather than kill the mood, though I wouldn't fault you for the latter reaction. The smooth R&B vocals I hear in my head never manage to make it out of me. The "brass" is all saxophones--three altos, two tenors, and a bari. I will occasionally smuggle some synth brass into my sax sections, but only when they can add edge and be buried enough in saxes that it's hard to tell they're fake. Glad you liked the funky bass, too. I had intended more little Bootsy bass flourishes throughout, but ran out of time.

Dug your song, btw.
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by Ominous Ride »

Ominous Ride - Don't Say Anything

Man, that intro is great. I find it a bit frustrating because if it was me I would have milked that "don't don't say anything" for all it is worth. That is a killer hook that felt to me was not utilised. Don't get me wrong I do like the prog rock music with grunge like vocals and the walking to the gate switch up was really nice. It's just my ears pricked up with that opening line and then it was quickly changed into something else and only really emerges again quickly and then before I can get into it, it's gone again.
Thanks for the review - to be honest, using the opening hook more than once was an afterthought of convenience which just happened to fit nicely into the narrative. Considered that it might work in an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" kind of way... Appreciate the feedback.

BTW You nailed your song - superb!
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seemanski
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by seemanski »

mholland wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 3:29 pm
seemanski wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 2:30 pm
Night Sky - Secret Society

There was one thought that popped into my head randomly whilst walking and hearing that funky bass and keys which was this is sounds really sexy. The vocals get me past that and the brass section is awesome, I'm crap with recognising instruments but pretty sure was a sax solo, which was sweet. I liked how in the intro the bass and keys lined up and they veered off to add that really funky bass effect.
Cheers for doing all the reviews. I hope by "the vocals get me past that" you mean they maintain your attention rather than kill the mood, though I wouldn't fault you for the latter reaction. The smooth R&B vocals I hear in my head never manage to make it out of me. The "brass" is all saxophones--three altos, two tenors, and a bari. I will occasionally smuggle some synth brass into my sax sections, but only when they can add edge and be buried enough in saxes that it's hard to tell they're fake. Glad you liked the funky bass, too. I had intended more little Bootsy bass flourishes throughout, but ran out of time.

Dug your song, btw.
I think I meant it transformed into something more at that point. To put it another way into turned more into a song rather than a soundtrack to a certain type of movie of the blue variety. I'm conscience I'm at risk of digging myself a very big hole at this point so I'm going to put my shovel aside and end with whatever you did I enjoyed it.
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by mholland »

@seemanski, ha, Paco has made the same observation about some of my other tunes. That’s a territory my instrumental parts tend to hang out in. No wah-wah rhythm guitar in this one, though.
Night Sky is Sally on lyrics, Steve on drums, and Matt on the other stuff
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by Sober »

(Thank you crumpet for the template)

My notes. I'm trying to find a balance between "old-school Songfight mean" and "Spintunes nice."

***

Just - Melody Klein: Fun groove right away. I love that there is attention to detail, in that every note/hit has a different enough velocity to humanize it a bit. A beginner would have everything level, and it would be flat and lame. Thank you for that! There are lots of cool atmospheric things happening under the surface that make this vibe. I'm not a fan of the vocodey approach, and I think the stabby synth's attack is a bit much over time. Definitely not in my genre wheelhouse, but there's enough sonic development here that I was able to vibe for the whole 6:27.

Oh No - Richard Shakespeare: Washy prom feeling. Don't know how I feel about that tom roll. The drums and everything else seem to be in a different space. I think some reverb tweaks to make it feel like everything is in the same atmosphere could help. The panned snare rolls during the chorus are a bit distracting. The kick in particular feels like it's hitting at the same velocity throughout. Humanize that a bit. The stringy synth lays really well in the mix - well voiced. The guitar solo tone is not great! It also has the sound of left and right hand being a bit out of sync. Focus on groove and confidence, and this will improve with time. Bass is mixed a bit low. Could use a bit more punch and bus compression to glue everything together a bit.

Limited Time Offer - Quazimodo’s Balls: Reminds me of the break from Battle Flag. Hate the piezo acoustic tone. Seems like you had fun putting every effect available on your vocal.

Our Little Secret - See-Man-Ski: You have the best grooves in this community. The bass tone is fucking sick. I feel like the different sections could use some kind of sonic separation. Like, automate panning at 80% during verse, and 100% in the chorus? Maybe bring back the handclaps in the chorus (use real ones with more hi freqs, rather than what we heard in the intro). Snare accents hit harder than the 2 and 4; maybe reverse those velocities. Kick is a bit buried. Good work as always, though I feel like this could use a little more mix work.

What’s Your Secret, Hermit? - Stephen Weigel: I don't hate a lo-fi acoustic aesthetic. The quiet drum machine-sounding elements are way off any kind of beat. The vocal performance evokes a high school musical theatre vibe. It's quite up front and naked. The arrangement meanders around as much as the beat does. 7:52 is a lot to ask.

Widow’s Peak, Kentucky - Governing Dynamics: Getting strong slow-jam CKY vibes, love the doubled vocal. I get that the bass is doing a lot of melodic work underneath, but consider adding another simple sub bass line to give this a more solid foundation. The drums feel a bit unsupported as is. On that note, the drums feel like they can't decide between a Deathcab drum machine vibe in the snare and a Foo Fighters energy in the cymbals. The sudden up-frontness of "no need to confess" was probably intentional, but maybe split the difference. If you want that line to punch through, have the band drop out for a beat or something. Really strong sound.

A Foreign Language - Star Bear: Fun Travis picking pattern (or close enough to it). Watch the prosody on lines like "I am lost in THIS story." Your voice is nice, but it frequently sounds chocked and unsupported. Focus on engaging your diaphragm, and giving your voice plenty of air to work with. Rhythmically, we lose groove all over the place, mostly in the vocal. More takes with confidence and a feeling for the groove will gel everything together.

The Seeds - FireBear: Humanize the drums - right now it feels like every hit is 100% velocity. Feels like a serious disconnect between the groove implied by the drums/vocals and what everything else is doing. I want to hear big, heavy palm mute eighth notes, but instead I get a washy acoustic sustain. The middle section gels nicely; that calls even more attention to the disjointed chorus. Good hook - some mix tweaks and a bit more attention to detail could really make this shine.

Sitting Silently - Pigfarmer Jr: I love when you're in a more folk mode. There's a plaintive, straightforwardness to your voice in tunes like this that reminds me of Robert Earl Keen. This style relies heavily on the lyrics sounding like natural language, so lines like "the cops finalLY arrived" need to be reworked for prosody. I'm personally not a fan of the big classic rock electric sound on the chorus, but it's very much something that someone like Steve Earle would do, so there's preference for you. The acoustic sounds a bit squashed. Would like to hear a more relaxed performance in the vocal - it sounds too enunciated. You're not nailing the beat, and that's ok in this style - let natural language dictate the pacing and emphasis. Really enjoyed this. Lol get rid of the naked crash at the end.

Articles - rackwagon: This is goofy. Like Jello Biafra fronting They Might Be Giants? Would like to hear the band bounce as much as the vocal does. The mix is very 90s, and I think that's ok. There isn't really a ton I can say - you had a goober vision, and you executed 🤩

A Man is a Clam - Dented Bento: Delightfully goofy. Obviously you gotta deal with the plosives; very distracting. The band feels like everything is played timidly. I want to feel as much energy during the break as I do in the chorus. On the chorus, spend some time balancing the vocals. Right now it's overwhelming and a bit grating. Hope to hear something from the Ziggy Stardust era next round.

Somebody Knows - With Joe: Alright, pop chops! This is very much not my genre, but the skill and effort here is great to hear. Kudos for working in 6/8. Love the talk bass. So many interesting arrangement choices, all well-executed. The choral break, the drop, the tiny beatbox elements, everything. I'm trying to find something constructive to say. After the drop, I love the manic, obvious climax feeling of that section, but it seems like we lose danceability there - a big, cinematic hit on beats 1 & 4 (as counted in 6) might help it maintain that notion of groove. This is easily the standout of the round, and probably sits with Also In Blue's Forgotten Cities as the most impressive entry I've competed against. Hope you stick around.

*Tom Delonge Voice* Wheroar Yheww - marlon.: Tons of potential here. Would love to hear more care taken in producing this up. Nearly falls apart at the bridge. Bad glock solo is cute for one turn, we don't need three. Some of great ingredients in this cake, but this doesn't showcase any of those ingredients, and at 4:24 is too long for what it delivers.

don’t pour it out - Roman Numeral Orange: Ok, there's a neat breakbeat loop. During the live listen, I had to sit through all 4:17 of this. Thankfully I don't have to do that again.

Three Can Keep a Secret (If Two of Them are Dead) - Regis: Bong bong bong bong. This sounds like classic songfight. On the production front, spend some time watching recording and mixing technique videos. Programming-wise, humanize the drums - the floor tom whacking away at the exact same velocity is grating. Performance-wise, we need more oomph all around. There's a timidity, a lack of confidence all around, and it scans immediately as a listener. Some neat ideas here, look forward to hearing you improve.

What Does It Matter? - The Dutch Widows: The vibe of this. The big guitar overpowers the vocal (at least in the first instance) Gotta carve some space for the vocal; via eq, panning, something. I'm curious about how perfectly on the grid that percussive loop is - I would love to hear the third measure of the loop (with the two kicks) laid way back. Anyway, you've executed a fun, vibey atmosphere with this.

It’s Juicy - Firefly: There are many people in this community who would gladly play bass on this. You can't do a RHCP-style groove without real bass. There's a noodly bit that I kind of hear in the right channel from time to time, but I can't even tell if that's a bass. Lots of plosive issues. The idea for this is clever, and the way the melodic elements are woven in is satisfying at times. This feels very much like a songwriting sketch, however.

Extrasensory - Phlub: Hey, this sounds out of tune 🙃. Have I heard a very similar melody from you before? Or is it that catchy? Signature washy mess. It really is impressive how you're able to get a singable melody over that detuned storm. I'm excited for you to get a proper drum mic kit to go along with the 8 channels you have to work with now. It'll be sad to say goodbye to the washy Phlub, but I'm confident you'll remain our alternative-tuning noise rock standard bearer 🔥

Invisible Ink - Hot Pink Halo: That fretless! I might cut a little more low mids out of it, but it's fun to have it showcased. The kazoo-sounding synth is fun. You have a way of writing catchy choruses that I'm jealous of. The handclaps came back just when I was hoping they would. They could use some time-correcting though. It sounds like you're having fun doing this, and it comes through.

Ease My Mind - “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson: Very Dire Straits. Very wet; maybe back off the reverb a bit. Groove isn't quite locked in. Watch your plosives. Punch in on the bass to fix that note around 2:50. Seems like most things could use another take. Your writing and arranging generally appeals to me; this needs some polish.

A Good Man (But A Lousy Wizard) - Also In Blue: Very Muppets. The musical theatre style that is so popular with Spintunes folks is not at all my thing, but this is incredibly well executed and full of interesting details. The rhythmic accents, the melodic fills - you put a lot of work into this and it shows. On the group vocal, cut a bit of low mid out of the bass vocal. Would love to hear the end of the bridge or whatever around 2:20 really ritard or fermata before the verse comes back in. There's a note that I hear a couple of times - pretty sure it's a D natural in the upper piano that happens for sure at 3:05, that feels very much like a mistake. It's just off-beat, the velocity is way different to anything else the piano is doing there, and it feels very melodically out of place. I'm open to argument, but I imagine if we looked at the midi roll, that'd be something that was accidentally dropped there. Anyway, this is excellent, and I look forward to losing to you again.

Who put Bella in the Wych Elm? - chewmeupspitmeout: Bring the chimes down once the voice starts. Watch breath noises making their way directly into the mic. Lots of interesting sounds. Seems odd to make us wait 2+ minutes for a groovy jam, only to take it away from us. Seems to me like you and Phlub could work together. Not really much else can say here, as this seems to be more an art piece, and any "objective" production input wouldn't really make a difference in the subjective aim.

Hero - L.J.P: Maybe cut a little notch in the palm mute frequency - there's something in the low mid of that guitar that's kinda punching my ear in these headphones. Dig the latin groove. Bass is very satisfying when it comes in, but why is it panned right. I keep hoping for more build, but it stays very static throughout. Bringing the piano in on the chorus is nice, but it's not the gear change we need. There's a very 90's techno synth doing the octave bounce thing that doesn't fit at all. There are neat elements here - be a bit more mindful on your approach to full-song arrangement; give us develpment, climax, and please anything but a fadeout.

I Should Have Told You: - thanks, brain Bass tone is pretty boxy. Man, I think this is the 3rd or 4th song with the vocal doubled in octaves. Spend a little more time getting consonants to line up. There are a few spots where the vocal double diverges pretty distractingly. The organ part is very programmed-sounding. This is decent, but not grabbing me on this round of listening. Woah, set your export markers to trim off some of that 15 seconds of silence on the tail.

Secret Society - Night Sky: I feel like this might benefit from a 'less is more' approach on the drums. Like, less kick variation in particular. Trust the keys and bass to carry the groove. If you're going to go busy like this, then the bass has to be in lock step with that kick, and it's not here. Would love some more balls in the organ performance. Swooshy, growly, slappy. That's what this needs. At least put in the time to automate the leslie speed. Hammond is my primary live instrument - I'd love to contribute organ on a track like this. Horn section sounds great. There's a high frequency in the sax that could be notched down, but that might be my tinnitus. You've improved a lot since you started coming around.

Corner Store Jesus - Fluke Wilson: This hits me right in the Blaze Foley/John Prine/Townes Van Zandt/Ray Wiley Hubbard/etc etc etc. As charming as the very bad recording quality is, I would like to hear this with something more like a Colter Wall treatment. A cheap rig that is properly setup will allow you to really lean in on both the vocal and guitar. As this is, I feel that your vocal performance is the only thing I'd really want to change - I wanna hear you singing from your guts. Take two shots of whiskey and give this another go. Very interested to hear more from you.

Don’t Say Anything - Ominous Ride: This has ingredients of cock rock, but the delivery lacks the power and punch needed to sell it. You approach the right feel at "you can tie my hands behind my back" - that needs to be the floor of the energy in this, and you still need more for your choruses etc. Mixwise, this feels pretty old school, and that's fine for the genre I suppose. I definitely find myself wishing the bass tone was bigger. Some fun stuff here.

Secrets - SunLite: Watch your mic technique - there's some air sound pushing through. It feels like there's a lot missing here. Like, the chorus is screaming for big, sustaining chords and extra punchy percussion. As it is, the energy remains flat throughout, despite making an effort to punch up the chorus with your vocal.

To Have and to Hide - Mandibles: An intro like this needs to be rock solid on the beat. Fun scale and chord movements. Drums feel flat and far back. The vocals sound like they have modern home recording production, but the band feels like a 90s live demo. Guitar tuning is really rough in spots. I think all of the ingredients of a great sound are here, but there's a lot of work to be done to get this sounding really slick. 6 minutes is a lot.

Secret Lair - Hanky Code: This sounds like old Ken. Something about "lairrrrrrrrrr" bothers me, but maybe it's charming and indie. There's something off fx-wise about your vocal, and I don't think it's just the tuning, though that's definitely part of it. It's not centered, either. Lots of strange elements here - the bouncy arp synth, the wiggly guitar solo, the big bells... A lot of it seems like patches/sounds were chosen at random because they sounded cool by themselves, without considering how the pieces all fit together. Lots of good stuff in here, I'd like to hear you with some real mindful focus.

Can’t Take It With You - Sober: I haven't shared with the SF/ST community what my partner has been going through these past couple of years (and I won't here). So why not write a dumb song to get some thoughts out. Experimenting here with meter, sounds, and making difficult subject matter work with potentially clashing musical elements. Really want to come back to this and mix it properly; deadline came at me fast, and I basically just threw presets at this and hit export.

Hello? (the grim awakening of Helly R) - The Late Heavy Bombardment: Like the big drum sound. If you're going to do non-human things with the drums, then lean into it. Give me more 32nd note kick trills leading up to a downbeat. Give me some screwed, broken drums. Ooh, there's another octave-doubled vocal! Nice separation of parts. I like the outtro. Solid entry - I think if you'd gotten in by deadline, you'd be into round 2.

***

Whew! 32 is a lot, and it doesn't help that we had 3 songs in the ~6+ minute range. Clear standout is With Joe - just ridiculous talent. Great work by Also in Blue and seemanski as usual. I'm most excited to hear more by Fluke Wilson.
🤠
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by Jerkatorium »

EVERYBODY GETS SIX WORDS:

Just - Melody Klein: Synthy ASMR, hypnotic, captivating, arguably overdone.

Oh No - Richard Shakespeare: Hippie guitar, nice chorus, good vocals

Limited Time Offer - Quazimodo’s Balls: Interesting. Stop hiding behind vocal effects.

Our Little Secret - See-Man-Ski: Great vocals, great prechorus, catchy headbobber.

What’s Your Secret, Hermit? - Stephen Weigel: Inventive, delightfully unpredictable. I admire this.

Widow’s Peak, Kentucky - Governing Dynamics: Typical awesomeness. Polished, enjoyable. Top 3.

A Foreign Language - Star Bear: Vocals on the beat. Charming, lovely.

The Seeds - FireBear: 90s indie. Enticing sound, production, vines.

Sitting Silently - Pigfarmer Jr: Good subtle use of electric guitar.

Articles - rackwagon: Catchy, got me moving. Radio ready.

A Man is a Clam - Dented Bento: Irresistible. My summer jam for 2022.

Somebody Knows - With Joe: Great lead vocals. Distracting panning. Impressive.

*Tom Delonge Voice* Wheroar Yheww - marlon.: I listen to this every day.

don’t pour it out - Roman Numeral Orange: Difficult to get through. Keep experimenting.

Three Can Keep a Secret (If Two of Them are Dead) - Regis: Listenable, neat idea, bad backing vocals.

What Does It Matter? - The Dutch Widows: Enjoyable, well-crafted, laid back, love it.

It’s Juicy - Firefly: Good production, good lead vocals. Fine.

Extrasensory - Phlub: Good, interesting, not pleasant. Purposefully unbalanced.

Invisible Ink - Hot Pink Halo: Wonderful, would dominate the 1986 airwaves.

Ease My Mind - “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson: Great song, love the backing vocals.

A Good Man (But A Lousy Wizard) - Also In Blue: Impossibly amazing. James Taylor slumming SpinTunes.

Who put Bella in the Wych Elm? - chewmeupspitmeout: Effectively spooky, evocative lyrics, great performances.

Hero - L.J.P: Moody hippie. Great lead vocal performance.

I Should Have Told You - thanks, brain: Immediately engaging. Catchy, enjoyable. Great lyrics.

Secret Society - Night Sky: Slick production, great performances. Awesome brass.

Corner Store Jesus - Fluke Wilson: LoFi, low energy, low effort. Grim.

Don’t Say Anything - Ominous Ride: Great vocals with too much reverb.

Secrets - SunLite: Great vibe, great choices, slick, professional.

To Have and to Hide - Mandibles: Lovely, engrossing, ominous, potent. Extraordinary vocals.

Secret Lair - Hanky Code: Sloppy sloppy sloppy. I shouldn’t sing.

Can’t Take It With You - Sober: Excellent all over. Wonderful build. Stirring.

Hello? (the grim awakening of Helly R) - The Late Heavy Bombardment: Fantastic. Would have been a contender.
"Yes, I am a Muppet with B.O.; this song speaks to me." - Manhattan Glutton
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by FireBear »

seemanski wrote:
Wed Mar 23, 2022 3:04 pm
FireBear - The Seeds
I absolutely love the tone you have with the clean guitar, I felt the distorted guitar took away that tone a little bit (felt a bit too harsh in contrast with the clean guitar). I love the story telling in this tune, and your liner note made this an even more special song. I thought the vocals are very nice and I particularly liked the distorted vocals, sounds a bit lit Placebo in that part.
Thanks so much; I'm glad you liked it! Now that you mention it, I agree that distortion could have been pulled back in the verse.

Also, I loved your song. Great job.
Sober wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 5:53 pm
The Seeds - FireBear: Humanize the drums - right now it feels like every hit is 100% velocity. Feels like a serious disconnect between the groove implied by the drums/vocals and what everything else is doing. I want to hear big, heavy palm mute eighth notes, but instead I get a washy acoustic sustain. The middle section gels nicely; that calls even more attention to the disjointed chorus. Good hook - some mix tweaks and a bit more attention to detail could really make this shine.
As always Sober, appreciate the feedback. Definitely some things I need to work on. Great point about the drums humanizing the drums, but I do like the washy acoustic sustain. I'll have to play around with it. Thanks!

One day I will shine!
Jerkatorium wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 9:54 pm
EVERYBODY GETS SIX WORDS:
The Seeds - FireBear: 90s indie. Enticing sound, production, vines.
I'm loving the 6 word review. I now want to give reviews only in Haiku, but that seems like too much work. Thanks!

Glad you liked the vines. I hope production was a production good enough and not a production real bad, so bad. :)
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seemanski
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by seemanski »

Hanky Code - Secret Lair

This wins the prize for the most creative rhyming, hands down. Although some of it was a bit questionable i.e. floor/foyer, hmmm, although I did quite like that it was really quirky. This is a great track that builds, I particularly love the levels in the mix, they are just right. Stuff like the ahs of your backing vocals just being enough to lift it (to the point where it has an organ like feel to it) and the arpeggiated synth just popping out in the mix to say hello. All that mixed with those guitars brings it all together. I thoroughly enjoyed this. A couple of things happened to me whilst listening:

1. I was actually walking past a bell tower when those bells chimed in and I had to double take the clock as I thought it was odd the bells where chiming at 3:15.
2. There was a point when those synths hit my ears when I was brought back to my childhood as the sound and style reminded me of a very famous track made famous by Limahl in the 80s for a movie that is a bit like this review.

Sober - Can't Take It With You

As always your sounds a crisp and clear and your playing is sublime and so precise which is a joy to hear. I was a bit shocked because there is little wobble in your vocals around 20 second mark that made me think this guy is human after all. I've been so used to perfection from you that even the slightest wobble (and it was minor) throws me off completely (this is where someone corrects me and tells me it was intentional and I should shut up). I really enjoyed the tempo change and that first bass hit really slaps you around the face. The one thing about your music that I really picked up on this listen is how natural the presence sounds, either you are very good at integrating artificial reverb or it is all natural. I have taken note to try out mixing with no reverb before I go mad with it. I found the lyrics relatable for the current hot topic in the news as well as what is in your liner notes. I did think the ending was a bit abrupt though.

The Late Heavy Bombardment - Hello? (the grim awakening of Helly R) [SHADOW]

I'm really not keen on that bitcrushed sound you've got. It is a bit jarring for my hears. I did enjoy the call and response lyrics, and on a couple of occasions found myself wanting to reply with hi after you sang hello (just because I'm a bit silly that way). After a quick google search for "Helly R" I'm guessing this is about the TV show Severance that I didn't know about because I don't have Apple TV. Oddly I managed to relate to the line "The 9 to 5 - we keep it secret from ourselves", I am a terrible doom scroller for the horror that is going on and I find myself keeping it to myself around colleagues because I honestly don't want to air it out loud (even though it is plastered everywhere anyway). So I took it as lying to yourself about the current situation, I'm probably talking bollocks here so I'll stop whilst I'm behind. Apart from that bitcrushing sound I liked all the other sounds in this and that sense of despair it gives.


See​-​Man​-​Ski - Our Little Secret

Now I've been through all of your songs I feel it is time to reflect on mine. Overall, I did like how it came out. I felt I got a catchy little tune that I was proud of. There were some things I would like to get better. I am super conscience that I am winging it a bit on piano and I always tend to go for this stabby straight rhythm that I want to get out of, I've taken up piano lessons to get some help with that. Any piano virtuosos that can part knowledge I would be more than grateful to receive it.

Based on feedback from others and listening to your wonderful tracks I would like to try out (probably won't do it for one reason or another) the following things:

1. Even though I use ezdrummer there is no reason why I can't mould the sound, use the ezdrummer mixing console to tweak the sound.
2. I really loved that feeling I got listening to AIB track where the theme of the song just popped out and once I realised what it is about I was in love. I don't think I have the skills to pull it off but I really loved that and want to try it out at the very least.
3. Mix with no reverb and get the tone right before adding subtle splashes if needed.
4. When trying to get the right loudness, tame the bass.
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seemanski
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by seemanski »

Sober wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 5:53 pm
My notes. I'm trying to find a balance between "old-school Songfight mean" and "Spintunes nice."
Eek, I didn't realise there was a "Spintunes nice." I just went for "I'm winging it Mike".
Sober wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 5:53 pm
Our Little Secret - See-Man-Ski: You have the best grooves in this community. The bass tone is fucking sick. I feel like the different sections could use some kind of sonic separation. Like, automate panning at 80% during verse, and 100% in the chorus? Maybe bring back the handclaps in the chorus (use real ones with more hi freqs, rather than what we heard in the intro). Snare accents hit harder than the 2 and 4; maybe reverse those velocities. Kick is a bit buried. Good work as always, though I feel like this could use a little more mix work.
Thanks man, those are some great tips. I must have glost over the automate panning tip on first read, that is in intriguing. I'll add that to my TODO list.
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by seemanski »

Sober wrote:
Fri Mar 25, 2022 5:53 pm

Can’t Take It With You - Sober: I haven't shared with the SF/ST community what my partner has been going through these past couple of years (and I won't here). So why not write a dumb song to get some thoughts out. Experimenting here with meter, sounds, and making difficult subject matter work with potentially clashing musical elements. Really want to come back to this and mix it properly; deadline came at me fast, and I basically just threw presets at this and hit export.
Man, I didn't realise how personal this was for you. I won't pry (as it is none of business) but I do hope you find some justice.
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by crumpart »

Pre-review disclaimers. I’ve listened through a few times, and the first run was on my headphones that sound the best. These reviews, though, were written on the bus using my most convenient headphones, which don’t sound as good. These will be short, and I probably won’t focus on production stuff here unless something really stood out. Apologies if anything comes across as flippant; 32 is a lot of songs and I’m not a real judge this time around.

Anyway, good work everyone on making a song and getting it submitted. I enjoyed some more than others, but every single one has something to offer, even if what I’ve written appears to contradict that…

Just - Melody Klein
I like to think the lyrics here are secret, because I had trouble making most of them out. There’s a lot going on, with a lot of it obscuring other stuff in the song, and I feel like that’s probably what you were going for. This has a cool sound, but it’s long and gets to a point where it just washes over me and I stop paying attention. You’re always first on the list of songs, so you must be writing and submitting very fast, and I think you might be doing yourself a bit of a disservice there. I’d like to hear what you’re capable of if you slow down a bit and work more on structure and editing.

Oh No - Richard Shakespeare
Love the lounge feel; this style is right up my alley. This is an enjoyable listen if I’m just playing it in the background, but when I do pay attention to the lyrics I find myself checking out a bit because I’m pretty over the genre of “my woman cheated and now I’m sad” songs. It’s an old, played out angle, and I think if you go there, you really have to make something exceptional (think “I Want You” by Elvis Costello) or come at it from a fresh angle (my current reference for this would be the album SOUR by Olivia Rodrigo, which feels really fresh and specific).

Limited Time Offer - Quazimodo’s Balls
This song is jarring and I really didn’t want to listen to it multiple times. I hope that’s what you were going for.

Our Little Secret - See-Man-Ski
This is fun and bouncy, and I especially loved the way you used your backing vocals at the ends of the phrases. There are some in there where I think a falsetto backing double would sound really cool. I don’t personally love the phrase “our little secret”; it’s very loaded and has some unpleasant connotations regarding abuse of power that I don’t think you intended, but are there for me all the same. Still, I liked this song and am looking forward to the next one.

What’s Your Secret, Hermit? - Stephen Weigel
This is very ambitious, especially learning that you made it in an hour. If I was you and only had that much time, I’d consider making a much shorter song so that you can really spend as much time as you can polishing it. With a song this long it’s difficult as a listener to keep track of what’s going on, and I got lost along the way trying to figure out why the vocals are panned/delivered a bunch of different ways. Is it a story told from multiple viewpoints? I can’t tell from the lyrics, but it does sound like you had fun making it.

Widow’s Peak, Kentucky - Governing Dynamics
Loved this. Your style is something I just like in general, and this is probably one of my favourites from you. I especially liked the high/low vocal treatment. Technical note that doesn’t affect the actual song at all, but frustrated me slightly: your lyrics as written are a little different in spots compared to what you sang.

A Foreign Language - Star Bear
Really enjoyed this one. The rhythms of the vocals are a bit stilted here and there, so if you have time in the next one, maybe do a few more practice runs while recording and listen back to figure out where you want your breathing and emphasis to happen. I’d love to hear this with a little space between the sections; I know, me, suggesting someone make their song longer! I think a little breathing room between the parts here would go a long way.

The Seeds - FireBear
Perfectly well done and high quality but 100% not my thing! Apologies for being entirely unhelpful here.

Sitting Silently - Pigfarmer Jr
The story makes me sad but this is really well done. I found the melody to get a little repetitive throughout, and I think you could work on this by thinking about doing the vocal treatments on the choruses a bit differently. I know you’ve got some “ooh” type backing vocals there, but I think a different type of backing vocal, maybe a higher harmony or something, would elevate it and make it stand out from the verses a bit more.

Articles - rackwagon
This was my song of the round before I heard them all, and after several listens and some strong contenders, it’s still my song of the round. Secrets layered upon secrets, and lyrical twists to reflect them. It’s infuriating that a song with this much jangle and bounce still made me cry. Jerk. When I’d only heard a little bit of the song as you were making it, I went and read Alan Turing’s wikipedia article, learned about the running thing and hoped you’d work it in somehow. I didn’t expect it to be the main thread of the song, so was super pleased to hear that.

A Man is a Clam - Dented Bento
For years, my husband (see “rackwagon”) has been threatening to write a kid’s book called The Selfish Shellfish. This is not quite it, but close! This is cute and silly, but at the same time there are some lyrics that make me really uncomfortable. In the verses you’re specific and direct, talking about one person, but then in the chorus you go general and lean into the women want to destroy us trope. As a woman listening to that, it’s unnecessary and frustrating.

Somebody Knows - With Joe
Somebody knows how to make a fucking song, more like it. This is just so cool and I wish I knew how to make cool songs. I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m incapable of making cool songs, but dammit, sometimes I wish I could. The production is schmick and I especially love the high backing vocals and choppy bits.

*Tom Delonge Voice* Wheroar Yheww - marlon.
This has a very cool vibe. Thoroughly enjoyed listening to it every time. It’s super lo fi, but you could definitely flesh it out with an interesting arrangement (backing vocals, strings/synths) if you wanted to. Either way, it’s a good song that is definitely called Beautiful Dreamer instead of the nonsense thing that you’ve named it. The melody is very satisfying and charming, and the little guitar coda is lovely. I wish I couldn’t hear your chair.

don’t pour it out - Roman Numeral Orange
This is quite enjoyable as a background thing, and I especially enjoyed some of the vocal treatments and panning trickery, but there’s not a lot to latch onto and I forget it pretty quickly. I think a general lack of structure is the main culprit here, and it is making the whole thing feel pretty repetitive. Cutting a minute off would help.

Three Can Keep a Secret (If Two of Them are Dead) - Regis
The bell sound in the intro is fun. This is a cute song and I love the refrain line/title. I feel like you need to go more over the top. Play with your delivery, draw some parts out longer, put in some call and response backing vocals. Just really go to town and have lots of fun and exaggerate everything.

What Does It Matter? - The Dutch Widows
Good job totally underselling yourself before the songs were out! This is really excellent. I love the understated delivery, especially in conjunction with the melodic guitar line. I particularly like the lyric “the crashing waves wash the rocks away”. Oof.

It’s Juicy - Firefly
“Her job’s on the bubble” is an excellent lyric. Very evocative. I’d like a bit more energy to come through in this. It feels a bit staid. One thing you could change in this regard is just more layers of kids on those backing vocals, so it’s more like a gang vocal. Pretty enjoyable overall, but I feel like there’s a lot of room to flesh this out.

Extrasensory - Phlub
No real notes on this (helpful!). I thoroughly enjoyed it, and especially liked some of those backing vocal parts.

Invisible Ink - Hot Pink Halo
It’s me. I just bought a fretless violin bass and I love it. Came up with the chorus melody before any chords, which is not how I normally write, and I think there’s probably a way I could have resolved the chorus to make it even more hooky, but I wasn’t sure which direction to go so grabbed an organ loop sample just to see how it would sound and liked it. Still not entirely sure I made the right choice, but I can’t hear it any other way now.

Ease My Mind - “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson
Love the organ. I grew up with an organ as the main instrument in our house, so after years of rejecting it I’ve finally developed a soft spot. I think your double/backing part could either do with being tighter, or possibly treated a bit differently in the production so that the timing discrepancies are a little less jarring. Like several of the songs this round, this one is practically begging for some call and response type backing vocals. Overall, this was charming and enjoyable. Good job.

A Good Man (But A Lousy Wizard) - Also In Blue
“Rattlecan green” is such a great descriptor. The pacing of your vocals is so good and you make it seem so easy. Leaning on an existing story is a good trick because you can take shortcuts in the storytelling and we’ll still understand what’s going on. I love that you (accidentally? on purpose?) also did the colour challenge from round 1 last Spintunes…

Who put Bella in the Wych Elm? - chewmeupspitmeout
Those high pitched drop/drip sounds are cool and build a good creepy atmosphere. It sounds like there are hints of an old melody being woven in here and there. The piano layered underneath is haunting. Great job building the atmosphere.

Hero - L.J.P
If it’s no secret does it still count as writing about a secret? Yeah, I reckon. This is chilled out and laid back, almost to a fault. It ended up being a bit unmemorable for me.

I Should Have Told You - thanks, brain
This is one of my favourites from the round. I like the whole feel of the song, especially the shaker. I know it’s a sad story, but the song itself is quite charming, which I think is a good thing in this instance. I particularly liked the “you looked so very tiny in my filthy rear view mirror as grudges often tend to once your head's a little clearer” line.

Secret Society - Night Sky
The saxes sound excellent and are very enjoyable. I don’t love the vocal melody as much, and I feel like you could do yourself a service by imagining the vocal melodies the same way that you do the sax lines. You tend to write your vocal melodies following very predictable patterns, holding notes too long that then just drop away. Play around with the phrasing and rhythms of the vocals for a bit longer before settling on the melody.

Corner Store Jesus - Fluke Wilson
This one disappeared into the bus noise a bit, and it feels very long for something with not much structural or dynamic range. Some different instrumentation and arrangement could go a long way. I like the ending.

Don’t Say Anything - Ominous Ride
“Don’t don’t don’t” is a great way to pull us into the song. I love the layering of the vocals and there’s lots of interesting stuff going on, but sadly genre bias keeps this from being memorable for me. Just not my cup of tea.

Secrets - SunLite
I like this a lot, and it made me think of the Glow Worm entries from Nur Ein a couple of years ago, which are really excellent. https://nure.in/titles/85F64AD06B6B01F88E8AFB7BAA4647E6
On the particular headphones I was listening on the drums had too much sizzle, but those headphones don’t let through as much bass as my other set. Might be worth listening on a few different systems to see how the sound changes.

To Have and to Hide - Mandibles
The start of this one got lost in the bus noise, and I don’t love the spoken coda at the end. Really excellent vocal performances though. “What she don’t know won’t hurt you but I can” is as great line.

Secret Lair - Hanky Code
Super fun and infectious. 100% pleased. I’ve had this stuck in my head all week and couldn’t be happier. The rhymes are a joy. I love all the silly sounds. Shut up about your voice. You’re no Mandible, but it’s perfectly fine and well suited to the song. There’s one spot where I think and S at the end of a word is getting cut or something and it makes the vox rhythm seem a little off; I think it’s on the “you will swear it seems like someone’s spying” line.

Can’t Take It With You - Sober
Everything works in this. The instrumental break feels like someone running away. No real notes to offer; great job. I can’t believe you got this in with 90 seconds or something to spare.

Hello? (the grim awakening of Helly R) - The Late Heavy Bombardment
I’m so glad you didn’t make the mass grave of dead babies song. This is so off kilter and a perfect match for the show. Hadn’t started watching before hearing this, so was a little in the dark at first, but I’m up to date now and fucken hell. I’m waking up at night thinking about Severance. The Hello / Helly Are… / Helly R interplay is top notch.

(Edited for typos.)
Last edited by crumpart on Mon Mar 28, 2022 1:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by Cybronica »

Thank you to everyone who has written a review! I am in awe of you because I was not able to gather myself enough to write any!
crumpart wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:33 am

To Have and to Hide - Mandibles
The start of this one got lost in the bus noise, and I don’t love the spoken coda at the end. Really excellent vocal performances though. “What she don’t know won’t hurt you but I can” is as great line.
Thank you for taking the time to write these! Could you elaborate on “got lost in the bus noise”? I’m still learning production and this is a phrase I don’t know. Thank you!
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by crumpart »

Cybronica wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:18 pm
Thank you to everyone who has written a review! I am in awe of you because I was not able to gather myself enough to write any!
crumpart wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:33 am

To Have and to Hide - Mandibles
The start of this one got lost in the bus noise, and I don’t love the spoken coda at the end. Really excellent vocal performances though. “What she don’t know won’t hurt you but I can” is as great line.
Thank you for taking the time to write these! Could you elaborate on “got lost in the bus noise”? I’m still learning production and this is a phrase I don’t know. Thank you!
Ha! I was on a loud bus listening, and my headphones are “noise cancelling”, but not noise cancelling enough. I forgot that “bus” is also a DAW word… anyway, the quiet bit at the start of the song was drowned out by traffic. :)
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by Cybronica »

crumpart wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:54 pm
Cybronica wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:18 pm
Thank you to everyone who has written a review! I am in awe of you because I was not able to gather myself enough to write any!
crumpart wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 5:33 am

To Have and to Hide - Mandibles
The start of this one got lost in the bus noise, and I don’t love the spoken coda at the end. Really excellent vocal performances though. “What she don’t know won’t hurt you but I can” is as great line.
Thank you for taking the time to write these! Could you elaborate on “got lost in the bus noise”? I’m still learning production and this is a phrase I don’t know. Thank you!
Ha! I was on a loud bus listening, and my headphones are “noise cancelling”, but not noise cancelling enough. I forgot that “bus” is also a DAW word… anyway, the quiet bit at the start of the song was drowned out by traffic. :)
OH haha right. I thought I had a send going somewhere wonky that was muddying up the levels. Im guessing the public transit issue could be fixed with more robust compression on the overall track?
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
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Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 1 'Shh' reviews and comments

Post by crumpart »

Cybronica wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 7:20 pm
crumpart wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:54 pm
Cybronica wrote:
Sun Mar 27, 2022 2:18 pm
Thank you to everyone who has written a review! I am in awe of you because I was not able to gather myself enough to write any!



Thank you for taking the time to write these! Could you elaborate on “got lost in the bus noise”? I’m still learning production and this is a phrase I don’t know. Thank you!
Ha! I was on a loud bus listening, and my headphones are “noise cancelling”, but not noise cancelling enough. I forgot that “bus” is also a DAW word… anyway, the quiet bit at the start of the song was drowned out by traffic. :)
OH haha right. I thought I had a send going somewhere wonky that was muddying up the levels. Im guessing the public transit issue could be fixed with more robust compression on the overall track?
That’d be one way to address it. If you didn’t want to compromise the dynamics of the rest of the song, you could try lifting it a little with some automation.
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