SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

SpinTunes online songwriting contest subforum
Post Reply
User avatar
BoffoYux
Panama
Posts: 925
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:22 pm
Instruments: Keys, Clunking, SFX and Strings
Recording Method: Audacity, Adobe, and other 'A' titled software
Submitting as: Boffo Yux Dudes
Location: New England
Contact:

SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by BoffoYux »

SpinTunes 19 Round 2 Challenge

You've submitted your Round 1 entries, and now you're patiently waiting for the judging results. In the meantime, you get a head start on your Round 2 challenge. Here it is:

Anachronism: Retell all or part of an existing story (historical, fictional, mythological, etc.), setting it in a different time period (and, optionally, location) from the original. Identify your source material in your song bio.

Examples:

"Dalai Lama" by Rammstein
"Mrs. Bluebeard" by They Might Be Giants
"Once Upon a Time (In Space)" by The Mechanisms
"Romeo and Juliet" by Dire Straits
"Samson" by Regina Spektor
"The Story of Isaac" by Leonard Cohen

Submitting Entries:

Your entry must be received by Sunday, April 3, 2021 @ 11:59 PM EDT. Otherwise it'll be posted as a shadow. Received means that it has to appear in my e-mail inbox (spintunescontest@gmail.com) by the given deadline. I will be going by the time stamp on the e-mail. One minute late is too late.
You are allowed and encouraged to submit a draft of your song early just in case something horrible happens and you miss the deadline. Then you can add polish to your song and send in a better version closer to the deadline. The last version received prior to the deadline is your official entry.
Lyrics are mandatory. No instrumentals. Having no lyrics will get you disqualified.

SUBMITTING BY EMAIL: Send your file in a format that BandCamp accepts. (.wav or .flac) (at least 16-bit/44.1kHz) Do not send MP3s.
Name your file the song's title + your band name, without punctuation.
The subject line of the e-mail should identify the challenge and your band's name. Something like this would be fine: "ST19R2 - All the Robots".
Include the song lyrics in the body of the e-mail.
Include information on anyone that needs credited if you collaborated with someone.

ALTERNATE FILE SHARING OPTIONS: If your file is too big for an email attachment, you may email me a link to where I can download the song. The email still needs to land in my inbox by the deadline.

If you have a Bandcamp account you can just send me a link to your song if you include all the info I mentioned for emails. Info such as lyrics and song credits can be included in the email or on the song's Bandcamp page. Make sure you have it set as a free download, and have it set so that I don't have to put in an e-mail to download it if you pick this option.

You may also use a file sharing service such as DropBox, WeTransfer, Google Drive, etc. Include in the email any required information (such as lyrics) that you couldn't include in the file. Make sure I have permission to download the file, and please follow directions so your file doesn't wind up in my spam or trash folder accidentally.

SONG BIOS: In addition to lyrics and any necessary credits, you are welcome to include a "song bio", with any information you feel is useful. This could include your inspiration for the song, citations for any obscure references within the lyrics, an explanation of how your song met the challenge, etc. Some challenges may require you to supply certain info in your song bio. Since the judges are volunteers with lives outside of SpinTunes, song bios can help them zero in on aspects of the song you feel are important. However, if your song requires a multi-paragraph explanation in order to understand and appreciate it, this is probably a sign that it doesn't stand up well on its own, and its ranking may reflect that.

Side Notes:
You can send in an entry to SpinTunes 19 without competing. Just tell me it's a "Shadow Song". It will be played at the listening party, but won't be ranked and you might not receive feedback from the judges. Check the FAQ if you don't know what that means. You can even complete past challenges from previous contests. It's a nice way of playing along if you can't commit to the schedule or you just want to get your feet wet.
The only other way to get your music played at the LP is to cover "Today's The Day" by Inverse T. Clown or "Right Again" by Mandibles.

https://spintunescontest.blogspot.com/2 ... lenge.html
User avatar
BoffoYux
Panama
Posts: 925
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 9:22 pm
Instruments: Keys, Clunking, SFX and Strings
Recording Method: Audacity, Adobe, and other 'A' titled software
Submitting as: Boffo Yux Dudes
Location: New England
Contact:

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by BoffoYux »

SpinTunes 19 Round 2 Listening Party 'Anachronism' 4/4 9pm EST
Might start a little late if I have a meeting delay.


https://youtu.be/RPzat6zD6zA
User avatar
Sober
Ice Cream Man
Posts: 1709
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:40 am
Instruments: Mandolin, hammond, dobro, banjo
Recording Method: Pro Tools
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Midcoast Maine

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by Sober »

Bummed we get no With Joe or Fluke Wilson this week. That's ok though, as we have a lovely batch of songs here.

***

Melody Klein - Etude No. 15 - Virtual: Seems like you're often right on the threshold of whatever gate you're using or is built into the vocoder. Not sure if it adds or is distracting, but on headphones it's the latter for me. When the hihats come in with the swing beat, they're very dry and feel out of place. Maybe bitcrush them a bit or something? I don't know. Some cool stuff here, but 7:20 is a lot to ask.

Richard Shakespeare - Push (Sisyphus The Insurance Clark): Very fun to emphasize the diminished part of that dominant chord. I always love when I can hear the accent like in "sawr eye to eye" like when Elton John sings "vodker and tonic." Hammond performance is a bit flat and unhuman. Hammond is one of the few instruments that shouldn't be quantized/rhythm corrected; it should be sloppy, mushy, washy. Feels like we're at/near overloading at the big build at 3:30. First line of the guitar solo is great, second line feels less precise and less confident. Also, I think there's a major 6th in there, where the flat 6 of this harmonic minor-feeling tune might have been a better choice. Maybe you tried that and wanted the melodic minor.

Star Bear - Nothing: There's a plaintive quality to your voice that has a Ben Gibbards appeal. That said, your voice sometimes feels overstretched in that D/E range; I'd like to hear what this sounds like moved from C down to say Ab or G. It seems that later on, you're supporting more and able to hang on those notes better, so maybe you just weren't as warmed up on those earlier lines. The tuning is sometimes a bit too quick/strong. Mixwise, things feel a bit flat, though properly balanced. There's a lot to love here.

Dented Bento - Og Go to Safeway: You've captured a nostalgic sense of the prehistoric sound. Still have the plosive/breath sound issues. Are you using a dynamic mic? Kind of feels like you're eating an SM58. It's a bit painful on headphones. Anyway, an actual list of mix notes would be a mile long, but this is delightfully silly in a Wreckdom/Starfinger way, so I guess keep truckin'.

See-Man-Ski - Ellie: I get hints of a longer plate on your vocal here and there, but I don't have a sense that your voice and the piano are in the same room. The subtle string/melotron is really nice, and is just right in the mix. I feel like you're so often singing punchy funk, that you're accenting the rhythmic punches the same way you would there - I'd like to hear you smooth things out a bit, especially for intra-word note changes. Mix is superb as always. Really good stuff.

rackwagon - Please Like and Subscribe: Would like a big, spacious drum sound. Mix feels a bit flat - this tune is super cool, and I think that really punching up certain elements could make it ooze with swagger. Ooh, getting hints of that would be enough in the bridge (and that's ok!). One of my favorites from y'all.

Mandibles - The Jester King: At ~:32, the bass hits an F# that really feels like it needs to be a D. Like, F# is in the chord, but it's the 3rd rather than the root, and for a big stop there, we really need a foundation. This has a very Pat Benatar feeling top to bottom. Drums go a bit wonky in the (well done) guitar solo and after. Sounds like maybe an electric kit is being played here, and you're recording the audio rather than the midi data? That's my best guess. Anyway, you've executed the genre and sound of the era pretty well here.

The Dutch Widows - Demolition Order: Feels like the guitars are frequently rushing. Feels like we need a mid scoop on the vocal, and I'm getting occasional plosive/breath noise. The vocal delivery feels like it lacks energy; the low-register, throwaway-vibe thing can be done, but you have to lean into the inherent cheekiness of it a la David Bowie. Those hey heys in the chorus in particular feel like they can't decide if they're serious or not. At :59, is there a missed note in the bass? Sounds like it hits an E instead of the Eb when it comes back up to the I. Not personally into the key change, especially as it doesn't seem to be accompanied by a corresponding bump in performance intensity. Guitars sound really nice, especially the rhythm in the right channel.

Firefly - Dot Dash Dance: Hey, there's the missing bass I was complaining about last round. The rhythmic pedaling of the vocal is clever. Where are you from? I never learned morse code, but I did training at Fort Meade, where they teach that, I recall hearing people practice with "dit dah" syllables rather than "deet dah." Could be a regional thing, or maybe historical 🤷‍♂️. Getting a fair bit of breath noise here and there. The bass could use some aggressive compression, and maybe a bit of fuzzy drive early to give the other fx more to grab onto. Those spoken lines need some bitcrush, resonant filter.. something to separate it from the space of the sung vocal. The whole mix could use some punching up - it fills out pretty nicely by the outtro; spend some time automating to get some of that sonic character going throughout. You can still build energy the way you have, while still giving us an impactful mix earlier on.

Hot Pink Halo - Going Really Far: There are moments where the tuning of everything locks in, and they're amazing. An argument could be made that the contrast is what makes them so nice, but at the risk of annoying Phleb with this comment: I'd still like to hear the violins in tune throughout 🙃. I like the way the arrangement builds out - I do feel in that last section, the bass could lean into a big, legato sound rather than doing the same punchy lines. Give me a wall of sound. Maybe bring the backing vocals down a db or two. Your mixes are getting better all the time, and I'm excited to hear you continue your already-impressive violin progress.

Governing Dynamics - A Traveler's Journal: There are some rhythmic disjoints on occasion. The bass is a bit plucky; would really like to adjust the eq and compression on it. Like, you have that sub-bass synth in there - just give me some of that tone in the electric bass. Kudos for putting some thought into bass melodic content at any rate. Yes! This is how you do breathy vocal without breath noise in the mic! When doing breathy vocal, watch the natural tendency to insert an "h" sound when changing notes - you're mostly very good about naturally gliding from pitch to pitch, but there are occasional spots, like "those who passed me by-haii" where there's a hint of that (really, it's just a hint). Am I hearing mouse clicks at the end of vocal takes? Or something like that? Could be my imagination. As the arrangement builds, we start to lose the drums a bit. Automate some shit in the mix over the whole track and you'll be in better shape. Still digging the early 2000's CKY/HIM vibe.

Sober - The Soldier's Song: Oof, my lead vocal automation is all over the place. Learned quite a bit about how melodyne acts, as far as 'order of operations' considerations go. Anyway, I was technically an airman rather than a soldier, so report me to the Stolen Valor facebook group 🙄

chewmeupspitmeout - Narcissus and Echo: There's a spooky vibe to this that is very enjoyable. I want to hear a bit of tube drive/bitcrush on just about everything here, compress the shit out of it and smash me in the face with all of these sounds. Maybe it's just that very fun bass patch making me feel that way. You're probably not going for a dubsteppy feel here though, so maybe ignore me. Would like to hear the falsetto section bumped up and eq'ed to let the breathiness of it cut through; that section makes me think of Portishead, which is always a good thing.

Ominous Ride - Allegory of the Echo: So much hiss in that intro, and then the vocal goes super muddy, like you just eq'ed out the hiss. I'd rather live with a bit of hiss than to get punched in the ear with 200-400hz. Lots of plosives/breath noise, which compounds the problem. The band is pretty lackluster in performance and arrangement. Spots like the space between the two lines in the bridge at 2:50 cry for some kind of instrumental punch. Doesn't have to be a BB King-style call and response, but consider putting the same kind of thought into your backing track as you do with all of these vocal harmony lines. If the guitar is a vst like I'm beginning to suspect, then yeah maybe you made the right choice. The muddy vocal kind of sits atop this thin backing track, giving it a mall karaoke vibe. Spend some time solving your vocal eq issues, then work on getting a full, cohesive sound.

FireBear - True Love: Oh man, in high school I would have been such an insufferable prick to people who listened to stuff like this. Punk was supposed to be about ANGER, not the ENJOYMENT OF MUSIC. The bridge is very fun. Eventually I calmed down and got into stuff like Bouncing Souls, so this has some nostalgic appeal. The two elements that don't seem to fit are the horns (plz delete) and the bass. Dotted half-quarter note bass isn't what I expect from this. Even picked 8th notes would feel more authentic. That said, this is quite well-executed.

Phlub - A Night in Babylon: Love that sub bass. Ooh lord, that roll into the house beat. Throw some kind of distortion on that spoken vocal. It seems like there might be some on there, but those words should be barely intelligible imo. These modulations, the gloom.. such a mood, man. Have you tried setting up an audio-midi drum trigger. Like, an 808 kick that hits every time your stereo drum track hits above a certain db at say, 60hz? I've never set that up before, but it's a very common practice in studio environments where a kit is close-miced. You can basically replace elements of the kit one by one or wholly, as if it were a midi kit. That might be impossible with your current setup. That's all to say it might be neat to hear an occasional boomy bass kick alongside your acoustic kick. Thank you for exploring ways to make microtonality palatable.

Night Sky - Murder on the Greyhound: I'll focus on the hammond, as I know you paid more attention to it this round. First - it's way better! The tone you're getting is quite authentic; just the right amount of dirt in it, and while I personally tend to mix hammond far left and right to accentuate the rotary split, it's certainly very common to mix exactly as you've done here. I can't help thinking of how I'd play it differently if I were called in on this. I think you have plenty of rhythmic, stabby elements in your horns and the acoustic, so the hammond might alternate between trading lead lines with the sax, and providing big atmospheric swells. Big growly swooshes up from the low register to a high B while the rotors spin up - hell yes. Anyway, enough hammond talk. Feels like the vocal could use a low mid scoop. Bring that "howl" way down, pls ty. The energy is more or less constant throughout. Give us a low verse, a big build, something. Getting better every time I hear you.


Also In Blue - I Know Tom Dooley Done It: Would like to hear the vocal in at least a little bit of space. The joke about mandolin players is that they spend half their time tuning, and the other half playing out of tune. I've never made this connection, but hearing the mandolin makes it - your voice is verrrry Chris Thile. This sounds very mono apart from the bgv's. This is definitely fun to pick along with. There are lots of little performance bits that one could nitpick, but the execution in aggregate is so good that they don't feel like flaws. I do feel that a bit more attention to the mix would bring this up to the Steve Earle kind of space you're in here. Killer work as always my dude.

Razor Brain - Smokin' Hot: Holy compressor, yikes. Apparently this is Dented Bento - my notes from your entries apply here, especially regarding the sound you're getting out of your mic. Love the energy.

Hanky Code - My Shoe: Holy tuning. There's a good deal of breath noise and occasional plosives. Not a fan of the "house organ" sound, and the flat performance thereof. The bass sounds quite thin; not much bottom end punch there. This feels like it should be way up in the male register. Like, I'd love for FireBear to sing this a 5th or more up. Lots of good genre cues in this, and some good arrangement and mix things going on.

***

Fun group of songs! Standouts are Also in Blue, FireBear, and See-Man-Ski. Great work everyone.
🤠
User avatar
iVeg
Mean Street
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by iVeg »

Hi! I don't normally do reviews, but since I like getting them...

I tried to draw little mental cartoons of how and what the song made me feel.

Melody Klein I'm in awe of your sound design, and that you can work so fast. Your melody tends to be flat, with some small jumps but then return to the main note. A lonely robot is walking down a dirty futuristic Jack Kirby New New York alleyway, flickering signage, dark, moody.

Richard Shakespeare Opening moans and sliding strings set the mood for this. Melody flat, some stepwise motion. Gray cloudy day, ruined marble temple full of cubicles. Sisyphus is sitting at a desk covered w paperwork.

Star Bear This song is more melody driven. Because of the different stories: A guy w a guitar standing in a dark club - there are several tv screens around him, each showing a different video clip.

Dented Bento Feels like the arrangement should have added something harmonic in second part for more variety, but still not spoil the "surprise". Bearded fur-clad caveman on cell phone walking through Safeway. I sang this every time I had to go shopping.

Seemanski Nice piano intro. I liked the contours of your melody. Because I knew this was about Up, the Up house, a bit dilapidated, when the neighborhood has been razed and nothing else has been built yet.

Rackwagon guitar, drum and pad felt a bit samey. Lyrics were clear, and you had a memorable, easy to sing chorus. I didn't understand the song at all (I didn't want to look at lyrics and be influenced by reading). So a big cardboard box with a large question mark spray painted on the side.

Mandibles The contours of your melody were fun, but it's over the same repetitive chord progression. After "Long live the Jester King" I drew an infinity sign w a frown and tongue sticking out. I picture a woman in a long gown being forced by two burly guys in black leather, hoods, and cats of nine tails to sing it over and over and over. The Jester King is slouched in his throne, crown askew, one leg over the arm of the throne.

That was as far as I got, for now. Useful? Probably not.
facebook.com/ivegband
User avatar
iVeg
Mean Street
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by iVeg »

Oh, sorry Mandibles: loved the guitar solo :)
facebook.com/ivegband
User avatar
iVeg
Mean Street
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by iVeg »

Ok. After a snack if fresh mango from the tree outside, I am ready to continue...

Dutch Widows Guitar is good and catchy. Unfortunately the vocals were buried in the mix, and seemed pitchier than normal for you. I couldn't understand the lyrics, so you get a bouncing happy face.

Firefly Some fun guitar, but intentionally flat melody lines. An AI news announcer.

Hot Pink Halo violins and soft dreamy vocals. Because I saw this was about a race horse: a horse in a space suit flying w booster rockets through a pink sky and fluffy magenta clouds.
facebook.com/ivegband
User avatar
Jerkatorium
Push Comes to Shove
Posts: 321
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:48 pm
Instruments: Guitar, bass, keyboards
Recording Method: Logic Pro X
Submitting as: Jerkatorium, Matchy Matchy, Hanky Code, All the Robots
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Contact:

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by Jerkatorium »

EVERYBODY GETS SIX WORDS again:

Melody Klein: Could easily be half as long.

Richard Shakespeare: Excellent interesting choices. Chorus needs oomph.

Star Bear: Great song if you like sadness.

Dented Bento: A fun oasis in this playlist.

See-Man-Ski: Nice piano work, great vocals. Plodding.

rackwagon: Charismatic lead vocals. Good melody. Slow.

Mandibles: Rock with real Heart. Too good.

The Dutch Widows: Mediocre verse melodies. Extremely enjoyable anyway.

Firefly: Groovy. Melody could use more variation.

Hot Pink Halo: Builds up so well. Lovely, infectious.

Governing Dynamics: Sluggish but wonderful performances, lyrics, production.

Sober: Excellent, touching, downer of a song.

chewmeupspitmeout: Reminiscent of Wych Elm. Similarly effective.

Ominous Ride: Fake guitar is unappealing. Fun anyway.

FireBear: Catchy chorus. Fun, engaging. A treat.

Phlub: Very enjoyable. Interesting choices all around.

Night Sky: Points for real brass. Otherwise fine.

Also In Blue: Lovely. Great vocals, mandolin. Too long.

Razor Brain: Smokin’ hot. Awesome lead vocal chutzpah.

Hanky Code: Disqualified. Cautionary tale: submit early, often.
"Yes, I am a Muppet with B.O.; this song speaks to me." - Manhattan Glutton
User avatar
iVeg
Mean Street
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by iVeg »

My life is a series of interruptions...

Governing Dynamics Yeah! Electric guitar! Nice melody. The guitar sounds improvised and overly busy. I got the quotes "Love your neighbor. Go forth and help. Mercy for the lost at any cost." But I didn't really get the context, so I'll have to read your lyrics later.

Sober The ghosts of soldiers throughout time, sitting on logs and stumps, playing acoustic instruments. Powerful song!

chewmeupspitmeout I liked your melody, and said "Ooh! Falsetto!" but you didn't have enough air to support it. I liked the dark gritty sound, and the transition to piano. Your voice was out front, easy to understand. The lyrics were cryptic, so I just went with the title: A good looking guy staring at himself in a mirror, and a girl painted to look like the background, calling out to him.

Ominous Ride Boom chick! Nice harmonies. Vox v anti, "No such thing as alternative facts". A 50s doowop band performing in a giant house of cards.

FireBear The cast of Princess Bride, and they all have horns.

Phlub Aaah - moodies. Goes to unexpected places. So this is an evil nightclub, where you have to get the Mark. The dj is playing pop songs, but is messing heavily w the turntable speed controls.

Night Sky Groovy! Sax! Toledo! Death! Murder! Your vocals were clear and easy to understand. Greyhound bus at night, with at least one dead body in the aisle.

Also in Blue Coffee drinking police at crime scene. You set up the story quickly and clearly. Easy to follow along. The only thing was the mandolin seems so happy for a murder song.

Razor Brain Kind of an inside joke. If you don't know this is a 93 year old guy singing to his 80 year old wife, it's not funny. Just sounds misogynistic. Again. I hate AABB rhyme schemes. So 1790.

Hanky Code Old timey prince (in purple and ruffled shirt of course) down on one knee in front of Cinderella. She's in work clothes, so to me that's black polyester pants and a company issued aloha print shirt. Hair up in a bun. "Give me back my shoe, you weirdo! Go away!" Fun lyrics, but so fast I missed some of it.

That's my 2 cents.
facebook.com/ivegband
User avatar
mholland
Somebody Get Me A Doctor
Posts: 170
Joined: Sat Jul 25, 2020 8:18 pm
Instruments: Saxophones and other things
Recording Method: Scarlett 18i20, Logic
Submitting as: Night Sky
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Davis, CA

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by mholland »

Jerkatorium wrote:
Fri Apr 08, 2022 9:03 pm
Night Sky: Points for real brass. Otherwise fine.
Ahem. Woodwinds.
Night Sky is Sally on lyrics, Steve on drums, and Matt on the other stuff
User avatar
Jerkatorium
Push Comes to Shove
Posts: 321
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2014 2:48 pm
Instruments: Guitar, bass, keyboards
Recording Method: Logic Pro X
Submitting as: Jerkatorium, Matchy Matchy, Hanky Code, All the Robots
Pronouns: he/him
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Contact:

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by Jerkatorium »

D'oh!

Sorry. How did I get this old without knowing saxophones are woodwinds? Time for me to go watch an 'Introduction To Music' course on YouTube.
"Yes, I am a Muppet with B.O.; this song speaks to me." - Manhattan Glutton
User avatar
iVeg
Mean Street
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by iVeg »

Ok. I read the liner notes and lyrics. It was amusing to see where I hit the mark, and where I missed it completely.

Liner notes feel like cheating, like a guy trying to explain why his joke should have been funny. Or an abstract artist trying to explain the serious metaphor underlying her swirls and drips of paint. That's partly the reason I scrapped Smokin Hot. It couldn't stand on its own.

I've been reading the lyrics on Spotify lately. Some songs I like don't have much to say. Other songs that I didn't like rip my heart out when I read and (finally) understand the lyrics.

Thank you all for sharing your songs. See you in Round 3, hopefully.
facebook.com/ivegband
User avatar
iVeg
Mean Street
Posts: 531
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 10:06 pm
Submitting as: inflatable vegetables

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by iVeg »

Crumpart = Yes, I watched the video.
Last edited by iVeg on Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
facebook.com/ivegband
User avatar
crumpart
Ice Cream Man
Posts: 1127
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:04 am
Instruments: Fuzz
Submitting as: Hot Pink Halo
Pronouns: She/her
Location: Laois, Ireland
Contact:

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by crumpart »

iVeg wrote:
Sat Apr 09, 2022 1:44 am
Ok. I read the liner notes and lyrics. It was amusing to see where I hit the mark, and where I missed it completely.

Liner notes feel like cheating, like a guy trying to explain why his joke should have been funny. Or an abstract artist trying to explain the serious metaphor underlying her swirls and drips of paint. That's partly the reason I scrapped Smokin Hot. It couldn't stand on its own.

I've been reading the lyrics on Spotify lately. Some songs I like don't have much to say. Other songs that I didn't like rip my heart out when I read and (finally) understand the lyrics.

Thank you all for sharing your songs. See you in Round 3, hopefully.
I hope you watched the “farewell phar lap” video I linked (because I hope everyone watches the “farewell phar lap” video I linked.)

https://www.nfsa.gov.au/collection/cura ... l-phar-lap
Devil’s got me Lindt! Devil’s got me Lindt!
Cybronica
Push Comes to Shove
Posts: 314
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 2:38 pm
Instruments: Vocals, Bass
Recording Method: sm7b, Scarlett 8i6, Logic Pro
Submitting as: Mandibles, Cybronica
Pronouns: she/they

Re: SpinTunes 19 Round 2 'Anachronism' Challenge, reviews and comments

Post by Cybronica »

Ok, I managed to get 7 reviews written this week. Sorry I couldn’t do them all! In addition to some of the ones below, I also particularly enjoyed Ellie, Demolition Order, and Og Go to Safeway

I really enjoyed the songs from this round! Full disclosure, I listened to these a bunch last week, and am now writing reviews based on memory while I sit around waiting for a doctors appt.

Sober - The Soldier’s Song
Oh, fuck, punch me in the gut. This was definitely a standout from the round. The lyrics are the star, beautifully written, and wrenchingly evocative. No matter how many times I listen, the line “now I am a mother fighting in the streets of Kyiv” always gets me tearing up. The vocal is rough in a way that makes me worry about vocal health, but it does fit this song perfectly. The emotional break is very clear. I will say, I don’t think this reeeeaaally fulfills the brief (cause you’re not retelling a story in a different era, you’re just pointing out how the same thing keeps happening over and over) but I’m not a judge this year and I love this song, so I don’t care.

Also in Blue - I know Tom Dooley Done It
As a listener of the Kingston Trio, I really appreciated the fresh take on this story. And I learned something new! I had no idea the man wrote the song about himself- talk about leaving a legacy. Your song is a perfect addition to the genre of folk songs about murder, and I love it. And man, this song is LONG- I’m always surprised by its length. Maybe because these kinds of songs are expected to be long, but I think also think way you keep subtly changing the orchestration helps keep it fresh.

Phlub - Babylon
This is a great take on the source material. The chaos of a club really lines up, and the way you write your lyrics is very effect. I have to admit, I sometimes find your songs tough to listen to, but you really put your funky sounds and tricksy scales to good use. They really accentuated the confusion and crowded isolation of a club. I also found your declaratory way of vocalizing effective here, in a, ‘Hark! The angel heralds what is to come!’ sort of way.

HPH - Going Really Far
I remember really liking the violins at the beginning of this song. The story is tragic and one that I (as an American) hadn’t heard before, so thank you for spreading his story! I like the imagery you use, and the space race concept works well.

Mandibles - Jester King
I am extremely pleased with how this came out. Our goal was a catchy rock song with pat benetar vocals over an easy chord progression and we got it. I realize there might have been some confusion over our lyrics- we are very much pro- VZ. The term jester king is not meant as a slight- it’s an acknowledgment of his past as a comedian. The Feast of Fools was a way to interpret a man whose profession was in jokes/satire being chosen/elected by his people to lead. “Talk real nice” is a nod to the amount of diplomacy needed in a leadership position, particularly how well he handled the events leading to Trump’s first impeachment. On general, we wanted to make a song that didn’t scream, “THIS IS AN ALLEGORY,” but once you saw it, it couldn’t be unseen.

Rackwagon - Please like and subscribe
I really want to hear this with an actual orchestra. I really loved the song, but the midis instruments didn’t do it justice. I think part of that was the orchestration was a little stilted. Don’t get me wrong- it was very classical (era, not the genre), but it held the momentum in a vice like grip. I think this could have been alleviated by adding an instrument or two with alternating two note triplets subdividing the beat. Yeah, this isn’t very Mozart/Salieri, but it is very stylist of contemporary classical (genre, not eta) music, and they might have helped integrate the anachronism of the song. The chorus always felt really poignant and kept getting stuck in my head. “I could leap and fall completely “ hits me in the feels. Reminds me of my own classical career.

Star Bear - Nothing
Man, you don’t pull your punches, huh? The meaning behind this song is so very present. I would have liked to hear this with a stronger vocal- I think you have a tendency to support the sound by constricting your throat, which causes a strained vocal timbre. I recommend some breathing exercises to practice filling the whole of your lungs and feeling the belly extend with the breath. On the exhale, make a ssss sound for first 4 counts, then 8, then 12, etc. Press through the breath using your *abs* not your throat. After you’ve done that a while, you can start doing it on a zzz sound to engage the voice. (Also feel free to ignore this if you don’t feel like doing it! This is one persons opinion)
“It's like opera for toddlers or something.” -furrypedro
Post Reply