Christmas In A Bottle

[the panna cotta army]

Christmas In A Bottle
by The Portaloo Massacre

Let's put Christmas in a bottle
Just like they do with ships
Then I'll mix it up with whiskey
And put it to my lips
And it'll taste so good on my tongue
That I'll the envy of everyone

Lets get drunk on Christmas
Lets get drunk on Christmas

I want Christmas in a packet
There's got to be a way
To breather all of that joy into my lungs
I'd smoke 20 a day
And you wouldn't have to wait for a whole year
To get yourself a fix of Christmas cheer

Let's get stoned on Christmas
I wanna get stoned on Christmas

No I wouldn't have to wait a whole year
To get myself a fix of Christmas cheer

Let's get stoned on Christmas

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Christmas In A Bottle
Pigfarmer Jr

75 million miles left to go
650 miles per second, I can't go too slow

I only work one night a year
But it's a real doozy
Sometimes I wish I could crack a beer
Or pick up a barroom floozy
But Mrs. Claus won't let me spend it there
Christmas in a bottle

Little Billy is wonderin' where I'm at
Billy must not know I know that Billy kicked his cat

I only work one night a year
But it's a real doozy
Sometimes I wish I could crack a beer
Or pick up a barroom floozy
But Mrs. Claus won't let me spend it there
Christmas in a bottle

You know I'd give almost anything
To take of just one year
At the very least they could keep their milk
And give me an ice cold beer

I'm gonna leave extra presents for my friend Joe
'Cause he leaves special brownies for me, the kind I like, you know?

I only work one night a year
But it's a real doozy
Sometimes I wish I could crack a beer
Or pick up a barroom floozy
But Mrs. Claus won't let me spend it there
Christmas in a bottle

[Paco Del Stinko]

Christmas In A Bottle - Paco del Stinko

I'm gonna get drunk on Christmas
Gonna get drunk all day
Cross it off my wish list
There ain't no other way
I like when lights get starry on my living room safari
And I'm gonna get drunk on Christmas
And Christmas is today

I'll be spending Christmas in a bottle once again
I'll dive in through the spout and swim down to the end
Not sure when I'll come out could be behind the couch
But I'll be drunk on Christmas I cannot pretend

A boozy holiday right to the other side
And if I said that I'll stop there well that would be a lie
And when I have a drink I can hear the angels sing
Another Christmas in a bottle and Christmas is tonight

Hear the angels sing, hear them sing

[WreckdoMelle]

Christmas In A Bottle - WreckdoM

Someone figured out how to bottle up Christmas
Candy-cane flavored sparkling malt beverage
Forty festive ounces on the gas station shelf
The holiday cheer to save you from yourself

Well it tastes like ugly sweaters and colored lights
But it smells like Grandma's house on Christmas Eve night
Reindeer tracks all across your back
Knocking down the tree in a panic attack

Fourth of July - Christmas in a bottle
Easter Bunny - Christmas in a bottle
Turkey Day - Christmas in a bottle
Christmas - more Christmas!

It's feats of strength in the living room
It's smoking tokes behind Grandma's shed
From celebration to reversal of fortune
A private blizzard blowing through your head

I'm dead - Christmas in a bottle
Come get me out of this snowbank please - Christmas in a bottle
I forgot my uncle's girfriend's kid's name - Christmas in a bottle
I can't feel my pinky toes - Christmas in a bottle

Christmas in a bottle