Children's Songs

Post lyrics to your song fight entries. If you have lyrics in search of music, post those here in the Lyric Marte thread.

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Caravan Ray
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Children's Songs

Postby Caravan Ray » Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:44 pm

Food Fight!
Hairy Nick the Lunatic


It was Monday midday lunchtime I was so bored I could have been dead
So I decided to lob my ham sandwich at the back of someones head
Then someone yelled out “Food fight” and we jumped up ready for battle
At last someone started throwing things
I got a face full of stewed apple

We were throwing up all kinds of stuff
Ham and spam and chips and pies
Mashed potatoes peas and gravy
Carrots, cabbage, broccoli
I am the Food Fight King
I need no introduction
And I will have my victory with
Meatballs of Mass Destruction

Well the evil teachers came and all three of them looked mean
I took one out with Incredi-Bites and the other with baked beans
Then teacher 3 advanced on me
Miss Walker was her name
Her finger pointed at me, she said
“Nicholas, you’re to blame!”

Well I was caught, sent to the office and suspended for a week
My mum was really mad, boy you should have seen her cheeks
To this day I’m angry, my suspension I’ll avenge
I can’t wait until the day that I have revenge
Sweet revenge

We were throwing up all kinds of stuff
Ham and spam and chips and pies
Mashed potatoes peas and gravy
Carrots, cabbage, broccoli
I am the Food Fight King
I need no introduction
And I will have my victory with
Meatballs of Mass Destruction
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Postby Caravan Ray » Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:46 pm

Polar Bear Rock
- Caravan Ray

Well I wish I was a polar bear and lived in the zoo
I'd have a party every night, oh yeah
All my friends would come around from all over town
To sing and dance and shake their bodies around
Well we'd sit around and reminisce about the good old days at the pole
And as night grew on we'd break into song
And do the polar bear, the polar bear rock and roll


Well every eskimo knows that a polar bears toes
are tapping constantly to the Artic beat
and when the polar bears dance with their polar bear-ettes
they generate polar bear
they generate polar bear heat
The aurora borealis lights up the sky above
as the polar bears sit with their polar bear-ettes
making polar bear, making polar bear love

Polar bear rock, polar bear rok
I wanna do the polar bear rock

Where everyone is half a tonne of mammalian carnivore
with great big teeth, a bad attitude and a serious set of claws
I'm Ursus maritimus baby
I'm a walrus's nightmare
But once you get to know me I'm just a cuddly teddy bear

Polar bear rock, polar bear rok
I wanna do the polar bear rock

with white bodies moving in the midnight sun
shouting and screaming and having fun
all night long till day is done
polar bear rock their having polar bear fun
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Postby john m » Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:02 am

Caravan Ray wrote:making polar bear love


...children's songs?
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Postby Caravan Ray » Fri Oct 15, 2004 2:21 pm

john m wrote:
Caravan Ray wrote:making polar bear love


...children's songs?


Is it unsuitable for children to be told of a sharing, caring and loving relationship between two polar bears?

If you think there's something wrong about it, then it's probably more to do with your own sick twisted little mind and beastial fantasies. You disgusting little pervert, you make me sick :wink:
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Postby john m » Fri Oct 15, 2004 3:20 pm

Caravan Ray wrote:Is it unsuitable for children to be told of a sharing, caring and loving relationship between two polar bears?


No, but that's not what that line implies. That line prompts "what does making love mean?" and other such questions, which I can't see as being welcome questions.

Not to be a jerk or anything.
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Postby j$ » Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:53 pm

Grown-ups are Dumb by Johnny Cashpoint

I don’t know how they get milk from a cow
I can’t make farty noises with my armpit now

CH: I can’t sing and I can’t dance
I’ve never been to the South of France
But give me half a chance, you tell me
Us grown-ups are dumb and smelly

I can’t say why the clouds stay in the sky
I’m stuck on level 1 in Sonic Heroes
I can’t explain, just why it starts to rain
Give me a maths test, I’ll get zero

CH:

Kids are best, grown-ups are dumb
So stay a kid as long as you are able x2

CH x2
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Postby erik » Fri Oct 15, 2004 7:53 pm

Hopefully posting my lyrics will inspire me to complete on time.

German Chocolate Cake

What's on the kitchen counter?
I've never seen that here before
The carmel icing looks inticing
The coconut, I'm not so sure
A little tiny sliver really couldn't hurt
I think I've got a brand new favorite dessert

So let me tell you bout a
German chocolate cake
It's so delicious, it's a
perfect chocolate cake
I'd do the dishes if you
Bake another cake
And make it a
German chocolate cake


BLEEEAAAUUGHHGHG This cake's disgusting (Oh my god, you are so rude)
It makes me want to run and hide (But you just cannot hide from a cake)
I think you'll want to follow (I would never follow you anywhere)
When you hear what is baked inside (A finger? No. A dollar? No!)
You'll want to give the whole delicious thing to me (You will never get my German chocolate cake)
When you're done lookin at your mother's recipe

You must be kidding with me
German chocolate cake
Ain't made of fishes
No, I think that's a mistake
It sounds suspicious
If it turns out to be fake
I'll finish this
German chocolate cake

I think you're trying to cheat me (I would never cheat a friend out of dessert)
And that doesn't seem so fair (No it doesn't seem so fair)
If you ask me really sweetly (With a cherry, with a cherry on top)
I am pretty sure I'd share

Alright, Erik, may I please have a slice of your German chocolate cake?

Hmmmmmm... NO

German chocolate cake
Gimme three wishes
And I'd have two chocolate cakes
And meet Sid Vicious
And we'd both have belly aches
From eatin' all this
German chocolate cake

German chocolate cake
Lalalalalalala
German chocolate cake
Na na na na na na
German chocolate cake
What's better than a german chocolate cake?
There's nothin finer than a German chocolate cake
Where can I get another German chocolate cake?
Oh momma, that's a German chocolate cake
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Postby Caravan Ray » Sat Oct 16, 2004 5:46 am

john m wrote:
Caravan Ray wrote:Is it unsuitable for children to be told of a sharing, caring and loving relationship between two polar bears?


No, but that's not what that line implies. That line prompts "what does making love mean?" and other such questions, which I can't see as being welcome questions.

Not to be a jerk or anything.


Sorry to clutter up the lyric thread, but I really find the idea that love between polar bears may be inappropriate for children to be quite amusing.

I think this is part of that general American (I'm assuming you're American, John) squeamishness towards bodily functions and urges that the rest of the world finds quite natural. Growing up, I could never understand why the Brady Bunch's bathroom didn't have a toilet in it.

Anyway - my daughter likes the song - and I don't think I've warped her mind with it.

(I have of course, recorded a whole album of extremely graphic, adults only, hard-core polar bear copulation songs - I certainly wouldn't recommend that for children - or the http://www.polarbearswithguns.com website)
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Postby erik » Sat Oct 16, 2004 1:42 pm

Maybe it's a culture thing, but in American vernacular, "making love" refers to neither a bodily function or an urge. It refers specifically to the act of sexual intercourse. I'm guessing (and not really trying to be a spokesperson for American ideals or values), but I don't think that American audiences would be bothered by a children's song about polar bears in love. But I do think that they would probably not want to hear a children's song about polar bears having sex.
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Postby Caravan Ray » Sat Oct 16, 2004 6:32 pm

15-16 puzzle wrote:Maybe it's a culture thing, but in American vernacular, "making love" refers to neither a bodily function or an urge. It refers specifically to the act of sexual intercourse. I'm guessing (and not really trying to be a spokesperson for American ideals or values), but I don't think that American audiences would be bothered by a children's song about polar bears in love. But I do think that they would probably not want to hear a children's song about polar bears having sex.


Yes, I know - that's what I find so amusing (after all polar bears do have sex - that's where little polar bears come from) . I'm genuinely surprised that this could be an issue.

You're right about there being a bit of a different cultural perspective here - I wrote this song a long time ago and have been playing it for many years - usually as my standard "kiddies song" if children are in the audience. I've certainly never had complaints from Australian audiences. In fact, I was a bit worried that an American audience may find the reference to Eskimos a bit culturally insensitive. (Maybe some of our Canadian friends could enlighten me on that one). I never would have imagined that the "polar bear love" line could prove to be controversial.

Anyway - I won't comment on this further, The Simpsons probably spelt out what I find funny much better than I could in the episode where Michalangelo's statue of David was touring Springfield and townspeople wanted to put a pair of underpants on it because it was obscene.

Just one more thing though, you said: ""making love" refers to neither a bodily function or an urge. It refers specifically to the act of sexual intercourse...". Sexual intercourse isn't a bodily function or an urge?!?
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Postby Eric Y. » Sat Oct 16, 2004 6:34 pm

oh yeah, that's probably another cultural difference. over here when we say sexual intercourse we aren't actually referring to bodily contact............
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Postby Caravan Ray » Sat Oct 16, 2004 6:39 pm

"...I did not have sexual relations with that polar bear...." W Clinton

http://www.users.bigpond.com/cavanreagh/nodrum.mp3
Last edited by Caravan Ray on Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby erik » Sat Oct 16, 2004 7:05 pm

Caravan Ray wrote:Just one more thing though, you said: ""making love" refers to neither a bodily function or an urge. It refers specifically to the act of sexual intercourse...". Sexual intercourse isn't a bodily function or an urge?!?


Oh, I don't want to play the dictionary game, or really tell you that you're wrong, but to me, a bodily function is something that my body does naturally, without any extra effort on my part. Like my heart beating, or turning food into crap. Having sex is not something that just happens without any effort. For me.

And an urge is a desire. You can basically say that people have a desire to do just about any pleasant activity. Do people desire to have sex? Sure. But that doesn't make the desire the same as the thing they desire. It's like saying that being hungry is the same as eating. An urge to have sex is not the same thing as having sex.
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Postby Caravan Ray » Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:23 am

15-16 puzzle wrote:

...assorted gibberish, including:

Having sex is not something that just happens without any effort. For me.



We weren't talking about you - we were discussing polar bears.
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Postby erik » Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:44 am

Gibberish. Oooookay. Nice talking with ya.
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Postby Caravan Ray » Mon Oct 18, 2004 7:30 am

Bonjour, Mon Ani
Caravan Ray

Chorus:
I wanna travel the world
Go across the sea
I wanna see everything there is to see
I wanna make new friends wherever I go
And learn how they all say hello

Gonna catch a plane to Paris France
Wear a beret and do the can-can dance
When a gendarme comes to talk to me
I’ll say “Bonjour, mon ami”

I wanna go to Japan and Tokyo
I’m gonna sing karaoke in a kimono
Do origami at a sushi bar
And say to my friends “Konichiwa”

Chorus

Thailand I will go to next
For elephant rides and jungle treks
Have tom yum goong on Ko Phi Phi
And say to my friends “Sawasdee”

Next stop Indonesia
Bali, Java, Sumatra
Volcanos will erupt for me
When I say “Selamat pagi”

Chorus

Australia’s the next place I choose
To see the wallabies and kangaroos
And cockatoos I’ve heard are great
I’ll say to them “G’day mate”

Well, it’s a big wide world all full of fun
And it belongs to everyone
When I get back home to the USA
I’ll shout “Hi there world, Have a Nice Day!”

Konichiwa, Sawasdee
Bonjour, Selamat pagi
Gday mate just called to say
Hi there world, Have a Nice Day

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