The Truth About Aspartame

[EightLeggedOedipus]

The Truth About Aspartame
by Eight Legged Oedipus
(C) 2005 Pure Greed Records

First they started with the MSG
It was all about supremacy
Kill the masses and amass their inheritance
Indoctrinate the children and eliminate the parents
It's lame
Aspartame

Now they brought it up to level two
Conspiracy is near the magnitude
That would make Sun Yung Moon so jealous
66% of zombies tell us that
It's great
Aspartame

Now the grays and the taller whites
Subtly strip away our human rights
While we're fasting on diet beverages
They exert patent-protected leverages
On us
Intraveinous

Will they ever let up on this mind control?
I try to think but carcinogenic sweeteners hold
My brain
Aspartame

You got to hand it to the government
They make such a lovely brainwashed puppet, man
All the aliens are taking over
With the help of Coca Cola and Russell Stover
Yes the FDA is just a front for it
While the newest victims try to run for it
Better shoot 'em you can't trust your family
They've got tumors and the rumors are you'll brainclot randomly
Impaired vision
Aneurysm
It's so savory
Nutra-slavery

[j$]

The Truth about Aspartame by Johnny 'Smoke-a-lot' Cashpoint

The truth about aspartame
is that I don't give a damn
If it destroys me or not -
I'll keep the few pleasures I've got.

So what if addiction shears a few of those empty years
That I'd be too old to enjoy?
If I was to give in to the truth about aspartame
All my years would be joyless sham

CHORUS: Guess the cancer will kick my butt
Long before the sweetner does;
Yes, the cancer will get to me long before
Aspartame gets to claim my rotten body.

I drink cola safe in the knowledge
That I will never be demolished
By aspartame when cigarettes can
Do that job for me far more easily.

So what if addiction shears a few of those empty years
When I am too ancient to play?
If I was to give in to the truth about aspertame
You might as well kill me straight away.

CHORUS:

The truth about aspartame
Is that it's the least of my concerns ...

[erik]

Posting lyrics makes me feel obligated to finish recording.

"The Truth About Aspartame" by 15-16 puzzle

Circle stains on empty plates
Metal pitchers run the edges of the counter, to and fro
Wooden sticks and plastic straws
Tiny packages of artificial sweetener in a row

Every poison has its place
Every passion has a taste of something dangerous
That might not even show

Habits etched out over time
You know yours and I know mine
And there's no reason that should change
You always liked the real stuff best
Never cared for all the rest
So now it seems a little strange

That you're suddenly so sure
That its equal you prefer
After years of letting people think that you felt differently
Every poison has its place
Every passion has a taste of something bittersweet
Forgotten, long ago

And I don't wanna hear one more tale you believe
So you don't have to feel you were lying
When you gave me the reasons to leave
There was something I just wasn't buying
Really, no one here is saying you don't get to change your mind
But now to hear you sing
Changes everything

Circle stains on empty plates
Mental pictures mark the edge of really not that long ago
Wooden sticks and plastic straws
Hazy memories of people that I thought I used to know

[Rabid Garfunkel]

The Truth About Aspartame
by Rabid Garfunkel (& Casey)

Big jolly gumball
Big jolly gumball
Candy is fun
Let's give it to the kids!

Filling out the postcard
For the marketing list
They'll send you back a sample
Of their sugar-free bliss!

How you gonna make a scary chemical sound good
With a name like aspartame?
Friendly donkey snake?
It's new
It's sweet
Nutrasweet
Nutrasweet

Big scary gumball
Big scary gumball
Hook 'em when they're young
Free for all the kids
Aspartame
Friendly donkey snake
Nutrasweet
Big jolly gumball

[MouthReliant]

I know it's not the same.
I know the truth about aspartame.
I don't care if it gives me cancer.
It makes me feel like a sexual dancer.

Ass-part-a-me, ass-part-a-me.
I gotta shake I gotta shake
I gotta shake I gotta shake the
Ass-part-a-me.

Ass-part-a-me, ass-part-a-me.
I gotta shake I gotta shake
I gotta shake I gotta shake the
Ass-part-a-me.

(repeat over and over and over)

[Bolio]

The Truth About Aspartame
®2005 BoLiO

Verse 1:
Aspartame, Aspartame
Party Time
Your stomach will never be the same
As you play the discomfort game

Splenda sinking in your bones
Diet Soda deals it’s deadly dose
The bereaved are calling on the phone
My Girlfriend doesn’t have to go to my funeral alone?
My Best Friend even helps her home!
Get’s her all worked up with one of my poems!?

Chorus:
The bitter truth about Aspartame
Neotame, by whatever name
It’s a neurotoxin all the same

Artificial Sweetener
My Organ’s aren’t gettin' any neatener
Keep your Aspertame at our finger
And keep your finger pointing the blame

Verse 2:
Nutra Sweet, Nutra Weak
Pop your diet soda open, take a peek
One day you’re normal, the next you’re a freak
Pepsi Free running down your cheek

In a week you’ve become a geek
Even hurts to take a leak
Plus its getting harder to speak
As anything can rot my teeth!

Let me eat, let me eat, you tease
And have another piece of this grease
Let me drink what I want in peace
I might have another year to live at least

Verse 3:
Fructooligosaccarides
Soon pain comes does not subside
We are the warriors of cyclamates
So many lawyers we’re running out of space

‘Excitotoxins’ sum it up
the poison poured in every cup
family’s sitting down to sup
don’t forget the stomach pump

Xylitol, sorbital
Are worst sugar forms by far
& it’s so damn great on your heart
(Does anybody know CPR?)

[bwell]

The Truth About Aspartame (The BeWells)

I thought that you were gonna be good for me
Why shouldn't you be?
It was clear that it was supposed to be that kind of deal
You had me hooked kept coming back
Now I fear I'll have a heart attack
I'd rather be pumped up on something that's real

Oh, it's such a shame
I still think about you every time I hear your name
But you and this are just the same
And that's the truth about aspartame

Destined for a bitter ending from the start
Broke my heart
But any time there's love I know it's not a waste
You were beautiful and so sweet
But as too much sugar can rot your teeth
Even good things can leave a bad aftertaste

(repeat chorus twice)

[king_arthur]

THE TRUTH ABOUT ASPARTAME / King Arthur

Some people get hooked on the diet Coke
And that's all they'll ever drink.
There's a warning on the can about the stuff inside,
But who's gonna stop and think?

Well, that's the truth about aspartame, it comes on sweet,
All the while it's ripping up your insides, steady and slow.
I've known some girls like that and the trouble with them
It's like the trouble with aspartame: I never could say no.

Ally was a beautiful Irish girl,
Like something from the Riverdance.
I shoulda steered clear, but I was blinded
By love, and so I took a chance.
Ally used to drag me all over the mall
And I followed from store to store
'Til my money ran out, and then so did she,
Right out the big front door.

(chorus)

Stacy was one of those mousey types,
All innocent and shy (so kind).
She swore she'd always love me
And then she met some other guy (never mind...).
Well, I'd given my self completely, I still
Remember how the fire burned,
But she left me there with a broken heart
And another lesson learned: that's when I figured out...

(chorus)
(bridge)

Now I've been married some twenty-odd years
But not to a girl like that.
I hooked up with the real thing
And I'm happy right where I'm at.
Still, every now and then I see a sweet somebody
And my heart goes bumpity bump -
But my brain sends an urgent warning, just as
I'm getting ready to jump, reminding me...

The truth about aspartame is that it comes on sweet,
All the while it's ripping up your insides steady and slow.
There's a lotta girls like that and the trick with them
Is like the trick with aspartame: ya gotta learn to say no.

[Geoff WreckdoM]

The Truth about Aspartame!
by WreckdoM

Millions of years ago, long before mankind or prehistoric reptilians roamed the Earth, this planets sole inhabitants were composed entirely of one perfect chemical substance forged by the hand of God itself- Aspartame! It walked the land on its inventive three legs just as man or beast, except with three legs, and it constructed impressive urban environments with buildings to rival those of modern times all composed entirely of Aspartame! As the Earth’s temperatures gradually increased, the Aspartame! melted into a sweet sticky syrup that absorbed into the soil and thoughtlessly manipulated all evolutionary advancements.

As society developed there is no significant event in recorded history that was not somehow touched or affected by the influence of Aspartame! In ancient Egypt during the construction of the Pyramids the slaves were regularly fed Aspartame! to give them that much needed get up and go to complete their arduous task. In Ireland during the dreaded potato famine, it was Aspartame! that rescued the population from malnutrition and inspired them to sail across The Oceans to The New Americas. And during the formative years of The United States of America, this great nation’s father, George Washington, would spend many an evening relaxing while smoking large rocks of cooked up Aspartame! and writing speeches about freedoms and things.

[Mellified Man]

The Truth About Aspartame by Mellified Man

Riding with your head out of a limousine
Out to make a big impression
Dragging on a cigarette
With no nicotine.

Life of the party and you're only eighteen
Hoping that your name gets mentioned
Catch a glimpse of your silhouette
On a Japanese screen.

You should know the price of being plastic
You should know the flux of fabrication
You should know the truth about aspartame

Trying to get your hair just like the magazine
Tie another dread extension
Turn another pirouette
Before you exit the scene.

Heard you stole the crown right off the homecoming queen
And got yourself some choice attention
Tighten up the tourniquet
It's time to come clean.

You should know the face of every stranger
You should know the weight of every instinct
You should know the truth about aspartame

I don't want to see you fall for a magician
Who ties knots that slip right off
I don't want you to wake up one morning wishing
You were someone else, you were someone else.

You should know the price of being plastic
You should know the face of every stranger
You should know the truth

You should know the quickest way to my house
You should know the route to get back home
You should know the truth about aspartame