The Joke
by Jon Eric
(for R. W.)
You're doing what it takes to make them love you
Anything you can to make them laugh
It starts to feel as though you're stuck inside a costume
You wonder if they love you, or your mask.
(chorus)
When we only see the man when he is manic
We laugh along, but never understand
If we only see the clown when he is clowning
We get the joke, but never get the man.
You always had somebody to escape to
Lost yourself in several hundred acts
None of us agreed on which you was the real one
Surrounded by your characters, you're trapped.
(chorus x2)
The Joke
- JonPorobil
- Beat It
- Posts: 5682
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:45 am
- Instruments: Piano, Guitar, Harmonica, Mandolin, Accordion, Bass, lots of VSTs
- Recording Method: Cubase 10.5
- Submitting as: Jon Eric, Jon Porobil, others
- Pronouns: He/Him
- Location: Pittsburgh, PA
- Contact:
The Joke
"Warren Zevon would be proud." -Reve Mosquito
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
Stages, an album of about dealing with loss, anxiety, and grieving a difficult year, now available on Bandcamp and all streaming platforms! https://jonporobil.bandcamp.com/album/stages
- Caravan Ray
- bono
- Posts: 8647
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 1:51 pm
- Instruments: Penis
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: Caravan Ray,G.O.R.T.E.C,Lyricburglar,The Thugs from the Scallop Industry
- Location: Toowoomba, Queensland
- Contact:
Re: The Joke
The Joke
- Caravan Ray
I've got a rubber nose and glasses
Whoopee cushions by the score
My witty repartee would leave her rolling on the floor
In fits of manic laughter
Hilarity and glee
To win this lady's heart
A sense of humour was the key
But it the seems the joke was really all on me
She was sleeping with the bloke next door at No. 23
Told her the one about the Bishop
and the Hollywood filmstar
The English/Irish/Scotsman,
how they walked into a bar
My version of 'The Aristocrats'
Would make a sailor blush
It was all laughter, beer and skittles
With my comedic crush
But it the seems the joke was really all on me
The funny-business with the bloke next door
Was very plain to see
They say that laughter is the best medicine
But all I feel today is just despair
I watched a 5 hour Monty Python marathon
But my broken heart and funny-bone
Are a long way from repair
The joke, the joke, the joke was all on me
The joke, the joke, the joke was all on me
The joke, the joke, the joke was all on me
She was sleeping with the bloke next door
It was plain to see
- Caravan Ray
I've got a rubber nose and glasses
Whoopee cushions by the score
My witty repartee would leave her rolling on the floor
In fits of manic laughter
Hilarity and glee
To win this lady's heart
A sense of humour was the key
But it the seems the joke was really all on me
She was sleeping with the bloke next door at No. 23
Told her the one about the Bishop
and the Hollywood filmstar
The English/Irish/Scotsman,
how they walked into a bar
My version of 'The Aristocrats'
Would make a sailor blush
It was all laughter, beer and skittles
With my comedic crush
But it the seems the joke was really all on me
The funny-business with the bloke next door
Was very plain to see
They say that laughter is the best medicine
But all I feel today is just despair
I watched a 5 hour Monty Python marathon
But my broken heart and funny-bone
Are a long way from repair
The joke, the joke, the joke was all on me
The joke, the joke, the joke was all on me
The joke, the joke, the joke was all on me
She was sleeping with the bloke next door
It was plain to see
-
- Mr. Beast
- Posts: 2263
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:43 pm
- Instruments: Guitar/bass/keys
- Recording Method: Various. Mostly Garageband these days, actually.
- Submitting as: Jim Tyrrell
- Location: New Hampshire
- Contact:
Re: The Joke
The Joke
by Jim Tyrrell (featuring Holly Furlone)
It's a little bit funny what you're gonna say
I might have heard it but you're gonna tell me anyway
I ought to tell you that it's gonna be new to me
You'll never had yourself a better opportunity
A clean plate A blank slate So don't wait
There ain't no need to hesitate
You gotta get it while you got it cause the getting it ain't so good sometimes
You gotta learn to let it fly
So tell it to my ears
I think I'm ready to hear that joke my friend
And if it don't sound funny well it ain't the end, you just
Gimme seven years
I'll be ready to hear the whole thing again
Because I'm gonna be a different man by then
So here's a thing about the universe you ought to know
A little heavy but you're ready so here we go
We are the product of a gathering of elements
Along a chain of biological development
Our cells die. But don't cry. You know why?
we're getting rebuilt from inside
And at the rate we're going with all the smoke you're blowing
I might not even remember by the time you hit the punch line
Chorus
Instr.
Chorus x2
by Jim Tyrrell (featuring Holly Furlone)
It's a little bit funny what you're gonna say
I might have heard it but you're gonna tell me anyway
I ought to tell you that it's gonna be new to me
You'll never had yourself a better opportunity
A clean plate A blank slate So don't wait
There ain't no need to hesitate
You gotta get it while you got it cause the getting it ain't so good sometimes
You gotta learn to let it fly
So tell it to my ears
I think I'm ready to hear that joke my friend
And if it don't sound funny well it ain't the end, you just
Gimme seven years
I'll be ready to hear the whole thing again
Because I'm gonna be a different man by then
So here's a thing about the universe you ought to know
A little heavy but you're ready so here we go
We are the product of a gathering of elements
Along a chain of biological development
Our cells die. But don't cry. You know why?
we're getting rebuilt from inside
And at the rate we're going with all the smoke you're blowing
I might not even remember by the time you hit the punch line
Chorus
Instr.
Chorus x2
- glennny
- Jump
- Posts: 2196
- Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:39 am
- Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Dobro, Banjo, E-Bow, Glock
- Recording Method: Garageband
- Submitting as: Berkeley Social Scene
- Location: Castro Valley, California
Re: The Joke
The Joke
music by glennny
joke lyrics by unidentified genius on the internet
additional words by glennny
A 'C', an E-flat, and a 'G' go into a bar.
The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
'til after a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but he's not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced
that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims:
"Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated,
comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in!
This could be a major development." Which proves to be the case,
as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and standing au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor,
and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental,
and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
All my life I've been looking for it
up 'til now I've only found a hoax
I finally found myself the joke
All my life I've been looking for it
up 'til now it's only been a hoax
I finally found myself the joke
music by glennny
joke lyrics by unidentified genius on the internet
additional words by glennny
A 'C', an E-flat, and a 'G' go into a bar.
The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."
So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.
'til after a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat.
An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but he's not sharp enough.
A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me. I'll just be a second."
An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced
that this relative of C is not a minor.
Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims:
"Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
The E-flat, not easily deflated,
comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.
The bartender says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in!
This could be a major development." Which proves to be the case,
as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and standing au natural.
Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor,
and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental,
and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
All my life I've been looking for it
up 'til now I've only found a hoax
I finally found myself the joke
All my life I've been looking for it
up 'til now it's only been a hoax
I finally found myself the joke
Phillipso, Older Brothers, Semolina Pilchards, Zipline , Thank Glennny for the Frisbee, The Odoriferous Valley, The Worldly Self Assurance, Berkeley Social Scene, Very Gentle Knives, Daddy Bop Swing Set, GUNS, The Kraken Lives, Cavedwellers
-
- Beat It
- Posts: 5348
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 11:33 am
- Instruments: Bass, keyboards, singin', guitar
- Submitting as: Johnny Cashpoint
- Location: London, Engerllaaannnddd
- Contact:
Re: The Joke
Mister Johnny Cashpoint talks over music for your delectation during his new composition.
19th song from my concept album "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" - 19th way - satisfied.
The joke is I’m a bloke who likes to dress up as a lady and I
Walk meatpacking district, driving all the punters crazy,
Where I prowl short-sighted johns who’ll see their way to pay me
For some stand-up eat-out fun to satisfy their cravings
It’s all about appearances,make sure I’m always stunning
The joke is that they never to get to see the punchline coming
At least not ‘til they’re coming and they’ve exorcised sex demons
The joke’s on them, all over me, and, funniest, no refunds
Joke’s on you, the joke’s on me but as far as I can see
It can’t be all that funny, cos no-body’’s laughing
Joke’s on me,the joke’s on you, but what are we gonna do?
Say if you don’t laugh, you’d cry? I’m good at multi-tasking
With sting in my tail, I give you all night to remember, but
Audience participation only as good as its members
Not all get the joke, I’ve had my unfair share of beatings
Not every single buyer likes the kind of meat they’re greeting
Some pretend they never knew, some laugh at being punked
Or head home in disgust, feel tasteless, faceless, wash their junk
Laughing at me, with me,it’s the same, ‘cos bottom line is
We’re all butt of cosmic joke, but my butt is the finest
Going to buy new body with the money that they pay me
Pinnochio twist,wood-on boy turns into real lady
Joke is there’s no joke still it’s one everybody’s in on, whole
district is a race-track, and a course I always win on
I’m a walking sperm bank, laughing all the way to bank
Call me lover, call me skank, we all swim same Septic tank
Joke’s of course on me, same time I need and do not need you
I will leave you satisified, but I will always leave you
19th song from my concept album "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" - 19th way - satisfied.
The joke is I’m a bloke who likes to dress up as a lady and I
Walk meatpacking district, driving all the punters crazy,
Where I prowl short-sighted johns who’ll see their way to pay me
For some stand-up eat-out fun to satisfy their cravings
It’s all about appearances,make sure I’m always stunning
The joke is that they never to get to see the punchline coming
At least not ‘til they’re coming and they’ve exorcised sex demons
The joke’s on them, all over me, and, funniest, no refunds
Joke’s on you, the joke’s on me but as far as I can see
It can’t be all that funny, cos no-body’’s laughing
Joke’s on me,the joke’s on you, but what are we gonna do?
Say if you don’t laugh, you’d cry? I’m good at multi-tasking
With sting in my tail, I give you all night to remember, but
Audience participation only as good as its members
Not all get the joke, I’ve had my unfair share of beatings
Not every single buyer likes the kind of meat they’re greeting
Some pretend they never knew, some laugh at being punked
Or head home in disgust, feel tasteless, faceless, wash their junk
Laughing at me, with me,it’s the same, ‘cos bottom line is
We’re all butt of cosmic joke, but my butt is the finest
Going to buy new body with the money that they pay me
Pinnochio twist,wood-on boy turns into real lady
Joke is there’s no joke still it’s one everybody’s in on, whole
district is a race-track, and a course I always win on
I’m a walking sperm bank, laughing all the way to bank
Call me lover, call me skank, we all swim same Septic tank
Joke’s of course on me, same time I need and do not need you
I will leave you satisified, but I will always leave you
- fluffy
- Eruption
- Posts: 11029
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 10:56 am
- Instruments: sometimes
- Recording Method: Logic Pro X
- Submitting as: Sockpuppet
- Pronouns: she/they
- Location: Seattle-ish
- Contact:
Re: The Joke
Sockpuppet - The Joke
[dedicated to Mr. John Benjamin Nolt]
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side
What did she find when she got there
I fucked her ‘till she died
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
The pirate saw his favorite movie
It was rated "ARRRRR"
Three musicians and a bass player
Walked into a bar
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
You might not think it’s funny
But I’ve got all the money
I’m gonna steal your honey
When I say something punny
What do you call a fly without wings?
I’d call it a walk
How do you give your man a scare?
“Dear, we need to talk”
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
There’s a lot of stupid jokes
Let’s tell them all night long
But you know the funniest one?
Look at JB’s schlong
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
[dedicated to Mr. John Benjamin Nolt]
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the other side
What did she find when she got there
I fucked her ‘till she died
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
The pirate saw his favorite movie
It was rated "ARRRRR"
Three musicians and a bass player
Walked into a bar
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
You might not think it’s funny
But I’ve got all the money
I’m gonna steal your honey
When I say something punny
What do you call a fly without wings?
I’d call it a walk
How do you give your man a scare?
“Dear, we need to talk”
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
There’s a lot of stupid jokes
Let’s tell them all night long
But you know the funniest one?
Look at JB’s schlong
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
The aristocrats! The aristocrats!
- Geoff WreckdoM
- Mean Street
- Posts: 540
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 12:13 pm
- Instruments: Theremin
- Recording Method: Pabst Blue Ribbon
- Location: Awestin, TX
- Contact:
Re: The Joke
The Joke
by WreckdoM
I went to visit my Grandpa,
They check me in at the desk.
We had a nice chat while he ate his lunch,
Gravy on turkey breast.
I met his friends, we played bingo,
They had a microphone.
And so I told a joke, I told a joke,
I made everybody laugh.
It's back to school, it's shopping time,
I get to borrow the car.
I try on more than I could ever buy,
I wear myself out.
Then I notice the intercom,
Nobody's manning the phone.
And so I told a joke, I told a joke,
I made everybody laugh.
My uncle Billy had another wedding,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
Preacherman took a break for coughing,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
Daddy says he needs help with drinking,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
Doctor says I got to take it seriously,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
by WreckdoM
I went to visit my Grandpa,
They check me in at the desk.
We had a nice chat while he ate his lunch,
Gravy on turkey breast.
I met his friends, we played bingo,
They had a microphone.
And so I told a joke, I told a joke,
I made everybody laugh.
It's back to school, it's shopping time,
I get to borrow the car.
I try on more than I could ever buy,
I wear myself out.
Then I notice the intercom,
Nobody's manning the phone.
And so I told a joke, I told a joke,
I made everybody laugh.
My uncle Billy had another wedding,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
Preacherman took a break for coughing,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
Daddy says he needs help with drinking,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
Doctor says I got to take it seriously,
And I told a joke, I told a joke.
"perhaps the most offensive and disturbing image I've ever heard in a song" - Hans Gruber
-
- Somebody Get Me A Doctor
- Posts: 100
- Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 2:13 pm
- Instruments: bass, vox, mix, guitar
- Recording Method: m-audio 1814, logic; motu traveler, magix
- Submitting as: Berkeley Social Scene, Zipline, Zinkline, Monte Carlo, Older Brothers
- Location: b3ez3erk3el3ey, ca
Re: The Joke
The Joke
by Berkeley Social Scene
[VERSE 1]
I had a dream I was a muffler
And I woke up exhausted
Two peanuts were walking down the street
And one was assaulted
I know some jokes about unemployment
But they may need some work
I hate my job as an origami teacher
Too much paperwork
[CHORUS]
Just wanna break through that wall of yours
And see you crack a smile
My quest is not an easy one
And I’ll go that extra mile
Well I’ve searched the Earth far and wide
And will until I croak
To find that perfect set of words
The one I’ll call “The Joke”
[VERSE 2]
So two snares and a cymbal fall off a cliff
Ba dum tisssk
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business
How can you tell when there’s a singer at the door?
He can’t find the key, and doesn’t know when to come in
How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
Place a sheet of music in front of him
by Berkeley Social Scene
[VERSE 1]
I had a dream I was a muffler
And I woke up exhausted
Two peanuts were walking down the street
And one was assaulted
I know some jokes about unemployment
But they may need some work
I hate my job as an origami teacher
Too much paperwork
[CHORUS]
Just wanna break through that wall of yours
And see you crack a smile
My quest is not an easy one
And I’ll go that extra mile
Well I’ve searched the Earth far and wide
And will until I croak
To find that perfect set of words
The one I’ll call “The Joke”
[VERSE 2]
So two snares and a cymbal fall off a cliff
Ba dum tisssk
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business
How can you tell when there’s a singer at the door?
He can’t find the key, and doesn’t know when to come in
How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
Place a sheet of music in front of him
m++