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Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2015 9:51 pm
by Lunkhead
“Deeb Sub-Reddit”
by Lunkhead

The Internet
is a series of tubes
That every day
Gets flooded with n00bs
They go online
To bare their souls
And get devoured
By hordes of trolls

Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You try and try
But you can’t forget it
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You can’t unsee
You can’t forget it

You’ll find yourself
In a dark dark place
Where everyone has an opinion
But no one has a face
You will regret
Everything you say
You will want to leave
But you will stay

Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You try and try
But you can’t forget it
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You can’t unsee
You can’t forget it

It isn't all bad
It isn't all bad
It isn't all bad
It isn't all bad

Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You try and try
But you can’t forget it
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You can’t unsee
You can’t forget it

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:11 am
by user
"Deep Sub-Reddit"
by Angry No0b

Nikola got the credit.
Edison got the edit.
History got re-written, but
Reddit sucks.

Yeah, fuck Reddit.

Now one afternoon I was bouncing off of BoingBoing,
Dancing with the Bug while they're balking at the bitcoin.
The comments are the best part (Barry 'Bama said it).
One elegant attack had a link to Reddit.

I didn't click it.

Then early in the evening I was chewing on a Cheezburger,
something 'bout Scotty and the Doctor and a flea herder,
laughing at a lolcat (someone overfed it).
Under that's another link to Reddit.

It's the same address.
I guess I'm intrigued, I confess.
Nah, screw that.

Now later that night I was checking out the floor plan,
dirty subconscious sitting on the front porch, and
OP said (and I wish he hadn't said it),
“u gotta read a rant i wrote on reddit”. Troll.

And he posts a link, what a coinkydink,
same url, so well what the hell.
Third time's a charm, what's the harm?
Deep sub-Reddit.

It appears, somewhat amazingly, that creatures reside within the fifth dimension, a concept that most would've thought impossible for the human mind to comprehend. It'll be more useful for us as we begin to imagine the extra dimensions if we can think to magically disappear from one position and be instantly transported to another. How can we do this? If we make a Möbius strip, we can be observing one dimension and be unaware of our motion in an additional one, actually twisting and turning in the dimension above.

Early next morning I was poring over Song Fight!,
lurking and smirking. Everybody's always wrong, right?
Narcissistic nerds, this ain't Can't-We-Get-Along Fight!.
Steaming like a turd, cuz I had a pretty long night.

It occurs to me, with sadistic glee,
deep strata that'll shatter their reality.
Check history, hold Control, hit C,
post that shiz in Monkey Biz.

Every moment of our lives, the creature gets even stranger, this timeless and unchanging everything for us all to ponder. We need to branch off into the possibilities contained within the eighth-dimensional phase space, but it can't be done. We are spilled back into the dimensions below.

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:23 am
by johndisk0
(Please note that this is a Slam Poem done live at an open mic night. There was an upright bassist there who did a great job. I told him the key and the basic tune and his variations were spot on.)

Deep SubReddit

Reddit. An internet forum in bulletin board style where one can plus up comments by giving them karma. Karma isn't really a thing. It's a method to troll because on Reddit, right and wrong don't really matter. But for those who go deep, I mean submarine deep, some dread it. Because at the back end of this corner of the internet, you will find the most deepest of deep subreddits.

Reddit users think they are better, more clever than those guys, those creeps at the site with the 4 clover leafs. Their reddiquitte, a code of conduct, is more guidelines than rules, that are unwritten, unspoken, and unenforced. In my opinion, it goes 4chan, reddit, then tumblr at the bottom. But since I can say that, you know I oughta not be on the internet much longer.

Reddit. A site where phrases like "You suck." "No U." turns into an internet fight between guys and not guys, those people who identify with another gender altogether. The white knights come to the aid of the damsel in distress until he gets under her dress and finds it's not what he expected.

In the self help subreddit about depression, someone said they lost their sister and were eating pie. Some said they're sorry and hugged them with emoji and ascii art, and they said thanks, but actually the pie tastes just fine. Someone replied "WTF am I reading?" Another said "My jimmies, are all right." Well, I laughed harder than I should have at the comment that seemed legit and totally nailed it. So I lifted it to the top thanks to karma and the plus vote I gave it.

IAMA is a place where you can ask the president who his favorite basketball player is. He said Jordan, but you know it's actually Shaquille because they both step away from the heat. The IAMA with Tyrion Lannister didn't go any better because they spent an hour talking about hummus. And then there was the govenator, who started his IAMA with "bring it", and they did, but they found out he paints his own Christmas cards. Just sayin.

In another subreddit, you will read them say "Today I learned that technology cannot replace paper when I tried to wipe my behind." Today I learned that the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades." "Today I learned we should take safety lables off of everything and let our problems sort themselves out." "Today I learned that punctuation can save lives when I wrote "Let's eat Grandpa" and forgot the comma. "Today I learned that there is no I in denial." That last one was down-karma'd.

You fit in if you're old in internet years and you don't when you're just there for summer. When saying "your mama" instead of "hello" is a common typo because those keys are right next to each other. This place, this internet space where you can't search for "The Who" because those search terms are omitted for being too short, too common, and too few. But, if you have a desire and want to find others with an equal fetish, go to the unspoken place where the internet is fed and everything's dark and decrepit. When you get there, look around. See memes abound and know you've found the deep, deep subreddit.

-jd0

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2015 7:22 pm
by Chumpy
"Deep Sub-Reddit"
by Jerkatorium

guess who's stalking you
ha ha only true
read your profile page
get deets, learn the score
that's what reddit's for
what are you posting these days

I'm lurking in your deep subreddit
and now i totally regret it
all those things you said
to those internet creeps
all those lines you wrote
about you and me

can't believe you told
all those reddit trolls
about that time that i cried
or when you and me
ate some LSD
and i thought i had died

i'm lurking in your deep subreddit
no reason for you to edit
all those things you wrote
that you thought were deep
all that crap i read
i can not unread

don't know why i trolled you
i just want to hold to you
this i do emote
the deepest things you wrote
that's what hurt me the most
here have my downvote

your words cut so deep
you sow what I reap
i'm the source of your woes
click click I'm a dick
now i has a sick
wish I'd left this tab closed

repeat chorus 1
repeat chorus 2

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 12:10 pm
by RangerDenni
BILLY AND THE PSYCHOTICS

You live in the shadowlands
so secret nobody knows…
like all the old trolls—under bridges
why’m I so offended, always so serious!?

If it’s just internet …
and it’s not real life we hide from the sunlight,
and you’re the king, and I don’t get it—
I can’t read your deep sub reddit!

Everywhere it’s like this,
always just the same thing,
-just be quiet, it’ll all go away …
(LET IT GO!)

Don’t ever feed them—
publicly or privately
in your head, in your bed,
it don’t exist, NONE OF IT!

'Cuz it’s just internet …
and it’s not real life we hide from the sunlight,
and you’re the king, and I don’t get it—
I can’t read your deep sub reddit!

{EXTREMELY MYSTERIOUS bridge which is WROUGHT with Conspiracy and embarrassing spamatazoa.}

You live in the shadowlands
so secret nobody knows…
like all the old trolls—under bridges
why’m I so offended, always so serious!?

CH-CH

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Sat May 02, 2015 8:03 am
by Billy
A little late, but...

DEEP SUB-REDDIT
Sunday Guts

I'm mopin' around reading Deep Sub-Reddit
I want more clout, but I just don't get it
Got nothin to contribute and
afraid to offend whoever disagrees with me

Scollin through pages of celestial bodies
Some guy from Flagstaff's collections and hobbies
Sorta disgusted, but I'm also kinda jealous
Seems like everyone's a scholar or apprentice

Whatever you post might sink to the bottom
You can make a connection, have a weird thing in common
Mediocrity's promoted and rising
But, down at the bottom is better worth your time

Lookin down at my phone reading Deep Sub-Reddit
Are they office drones sitting at their desk?
Or, maybe just people ahead of their time.
We're too easily amused to recognize.

Canadian E-Ciggarette Elitist
r/paranormal video evidence
Military Spouses, GTA Glitches
Cat5 Cable Porn, Turn-of-the-Century Hinges..

You may think you're different
But, someone else out there wants to talk about the same thing.

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Sat May 02, 2015 10:29 am
by jb
Deep Sub-Reddit
by Abjure!
with apologies to MC Frontalot, and Urine Luck

Met her in a deep sub-reddit.

Do you get it?
she was looking for love!

Couldn’t get enough.

I said “Lady, do you mean how that sounded?

The 8-foot Groot in the ‘Furious 7’ shirt’s astounded.”

Thought she’d take it back
Thought she would retract.
But no “You heard me,”
she said, “I want anybody here

to go down in the cave
where you conquer the fear,

and I’ll guide you to
the side of the force that you choose.

Somebody’s man enough here — now who?”


This girl’s username, you gotta understand,

would look hot on the arm of a hot man.

So every geek dropped his gold on the floor.
The apocalypse was on, they got ready for war.
One extended his saber but he tripped on his cloak so
I stepped to the front then I spoke:

This ain’t no party , This ain’t no disco
This ain’t no safe zone in the middle of Frisco
No such thing as carefully wading
The temperature here is no good for bathing
No matter what you said, no matter how you said it
You’re in too deep, here in this subreddit


“I ain’t spitting game, look, I got a Wookiee suit on.

But these guys here like gettin’ spat on
and shat on and mild electro-shock.

And this ain’t the place to quote Mister Spock
but it’s highly illogical to me.”
Girl DM’d me and said, “is your mind free?

This ain’t no party , This ain’t no disco
This ain’t no safe zone In the middle of Frisco
No such thing as carefully wading
The temperature here is no good for bathing
No matter what you said, no matter how you said it
You’re in too deep, here in this subreddit

Sitting in her snapchat unaware,

watching her wind up the buns in her hair,

I declare that “I’d like to be R2

unless that’s a little too perverted for you.

I could be Jabba, a Jawa, an Ewok 
when we talk, ‘oo ga la gee bla!’

Wait — I seen all the flicks, all the books that I read,

don’t remember any plastic all over the bed.

And hey there’s a hole in your bikini; you make that?

Shows off what you got, no mistake: that’s
one fine view of Nick Fury you’re giving me.

Bring that a little closer, lemme pretend that
I’m living the 
linguistic lifestyle of the protocol droid.”


Here comes the part where I wasn’t overjoyed.

“Fire!” she said, and before I could scream,

I got a double eye full of
fresh Red Wedding.

This ain’t no party , This ain’t no disco
This ain’t no safe zone In the middle of Frisco
You’re in too deep, baby
The temperature here is no good for bathing
It doesn’t matter what you said, It doesn’t matter how you said it
You stepped in it, baby, some deep subreddit

Re: Deep Sub-Reddit

Posted: Thu May 07, 2015 3:59 am
by johndisk0
jb wrote:Deep Sub-Reddit
by Abjure!
with apologies to MC Frontalot, and Urine Luck
<Lyrics>
Image

-jd0