Something's Not Working...

Ask questions and get answers about how to make music in any particular way. Hardware or songwriting or whatever.
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nyjm
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Something's Not Working...

Post by nyjm »

... with this song. yes, there's some out-of-tune backing vox, but i feel like there's something else that i just can't put my finger on...
solongshuffle.mp3
(3.33 MiB) Downloaded 83 times
i have hypotheses, but i don't want to bias listeners. please, listen and give me some feedback.
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
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king_arthur
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Re: Something's Not Working...

Post by king_arthur »

nyjm wrote:... with this song. yes, there's some out-of-tune backing vox, but i feel like there's something else that i just can't put my finger on...
solongshuffle.mp3
i have hypotheses, but i don't want to bias listeners. please, listen and give me some feedback.
It feels to me like guitars aren't in tune with each other. There's one guitar that's panned out to one side that I think is the problem. It sounds to me like it's tuning problems, but it's not just the backing vocals. That centered guitar sounds like it's okay, but that guitar out to the side may be dragging the lead vocal off, too... and the lead guitar also sounds wrong when it comes in. See if the whole thing sounds better without that panned guitar.

Charles (KA)
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Manhattan Glutton
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Re: Something's Not Working...

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

The bass isn't in tune with the guitar, or it's hitting the wrong note altogether. Throw Reatune on the bass and see if helps!

The guitar chords sound a little off too. Double check tuning, maybe change strings.

Also the vocals are pretty off. Plug the vocal melody into a midi instrument so you know what melody you're going for... It sounds like you're singing too low, maybe bring the song up a couple steps or try singing in your higher register.

The drums are OK but a little fakey in some places... reminds me of the standard Noah Drumbeat, which is very 80s.

The idea is pretty good though. If you pull it all off, should sound good.
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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nyjm
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Re: Something's Not Working...

Post by nyjm »

Manhattan Glutton wrote:The bass isn't in tune with the guitar, or it's hitting the wrong note altogether. Throw Reatune on the bass and see if helps!
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! That was it! My MIDI bass was a full half-step sharp. Thanks!

Now, of course, I have to go back to the last half-dozen songs I've used this bloody MIDI on and fix them. (Including Ruthless Lately, done and resubmitted already.) Not hard, just annoying.

And, KA, I'll double check the tuning of the panned guitar. Sounds like I really need to go back and re-perform the whole thing, since it was built on that poorly-pitched bass line. Erg. But still, helpful. Thanks, guys!
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
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Manhattan Glutton
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Re: Something's Not Working...

Post by Manhattan Glutton »

nyjm wrote:HOLY MARY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! That was it! My MIDI bass was a full half-step sharp. Thanks!
lol! We all have those moments. There have been times where my bass and guitar parts are using conflicting scales, but it's barely noticeable.

The composition is really good! Keep us informed as to how it turns out.

P.S.: Is the midi bass sharp, or are your guitars flat?
If I had a dollar for every one of my songs j$ has called a 90s pastiche, I'd have $1 for every song I've written.

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nyjm
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Re: Something's Not Working...

Post by nyjm »

The MIDI bass was sharp. I'd never used Reatune before - thanks, that's a very useful tool.

It's funny, I was originally worried about the composition; it felt like I was effectively cramming two choruses in there and the second one (with the claps) was falling flat. And it was a special challenge from my wife to write a _happy_ song but there I was going all minor for a BRIDGE, of all things.


BUT... if the bass is at the right pitch and I really THROW myself at the chorus proper, voila!
solongshuffle.mp3
(3.32 MiB) Downloaded 58 times
"You sound like the ghost of David Bowie." - SchlimminyCricket | it was a pleasure to burn | my website | Juliet's Happy Dagger
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fluffy
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Re: Something's Not Working...

Post by fluffy »

The EQ could also use a bit of a boost in the midrange (especially on the vocals), and maybe a treble cut. The distorted guitar also feels a bit ouf of place. Maybe don't hard-pan it right?

But yeah the sharp bass is the biggest problem.
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