Ease up on the Reviews

Discuss upcoming, current, and previous song fights.
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Spud
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Ease up on the Reviews

Post by Spud »

The drugs, too.
Last edited by Spud on Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by The Weakest Suit »

no. don't ease up on the reviews. review more. double review, in fact. once for this fight, and once for the other. i'm totally seriously here people.
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Post by Ross »

Allow me to get this started.

Reviews - Ease up on the drugs

Good fight!! - not a clunker in the group. I think each of these is quite successful on their own terms.

WreckdoM - I really like the opening of this, and then you lose me a little - although I’m guessing already that of all the songs submitted this will be the one that listening to it is most like being on drugs. Either you guys are getting better, or my taste is getting less discerning. Interesting piece of sound art, I thought it was getting a little long even before the second half began. This might be great high, but I’m not.ending bit not necessary (for me) - Good.

Melvin Sounds great as usual. I need that kind of guitar restraint. I always want to play chords - probably my solo-acoustic leanings. But this isn’t about me, it’s about you. Nice chorus, with good melody range. I like the key patch in the chorus, too. This is a very good song so far. Very well put together - Radio Ready. Curse you red Baron. Great -

Mandy on Fire - I don’t like listening to this very much, yet I admire its idiom and it’s fairly well put together. Drug rights as women’s suffrage. I don’t know how far this will get with your congress person - but it is an entertaining idea, none the less, and a decent different (almost opposite) take on the title. Good -

Charlie Cheney - Ahh my fellow FAWMer. Welcome to Songfight! Nice sound. Fun little bopper - not a lot interesting me on the lyric content - a few cute ideas, but this song doesn’t seem to be about the lyrics, that much. Good playing and production all around. Good

Titans is this a 20 year old NIN demo? I hope this kicks into high gear at some point.....Bummer, it doesn’t. Interesting lyrical thing - POV of the organs. It’s nice to hear that kind of poetry. I guess I feel that composing in this style required one more level of arrangement, that wasn’t present, but I liked this as it was getting going. OK

Lord of Oats Nothing special I can point to , but this song feels sort of “eh” to me. The lyrical ideas are fine, but the actual wording feels a bit forced to me, and the music - why so serious? :-) It just feels a bit heavy and dark for some of your words. Structurally I feel the instrumental is a bit a long. At the end are you repeating a verse or is that section the chorus? Good-

PQ I guess I don’t really get this. Even so, not a problem to play all teh way through. Thanks for playing.

Jeff and Candy - This is especially commercial sounding for you. The tune could use just a bit more variety and this would be very catchy. Poor Laura. Great little upbeat ending. Who are the candy landers? The ending hearkens to Jessie’s Girl. Pretty good.

Plain Songs This bops along nicely. Good guitar line and melody. How much research did you have to do for this (or is it autobiographical ;-) ). I think it could have used a little nipping and tucking. Is this based on Naked Lunch? some great stuff in here, but ended up feeling long to me. The end was good, though. Ok+

Second Banana I really like the quirkyness of this. I think everything works pretty well to put that package together. I’d say this one also feels long, but it feels like the repeats are true to this idiom, so I don’t think I can criticize it for that. Good.

FAWMit I feel like I recognize this voice, but I didn’t recognize your name over at FAWM either. I am just a bit bugged by the dropping cadence in the chorus. And a couple of the chords changes sound a little forced, like you just couldn’t bear to go with chords in the key. Also, I don’t care much for the lyric content. It is quite listenable, however, and these are a bit picky of critiques - even so, those are the shortcomings I hear. OK

Frisbee I think your use of vocal layering is nice here. The single and double tracking are such different timbres - it’s nice to hear you use them both, as well a the harmonies. this comes off a little like a PSA - but that’s ok. I like the upbeat-ness, but that’s what you do - isn’t it. the second verse doesn’t work as well for me lyrically and holds the song back a smidge. Good-
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Post by The Weakest Suit »

FAWMit is me, plus a non-songfight, fawmer friend. The chord progression was supposed to evoke another, more famous song with lyrical content that is much more wholesome than the smarmy manager in my song.
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Ross
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Post by Ross »

The Weakest Suit wrote:FAWMit is me...
Funny, that came to me as I was mowing the lawn just now. I should have known from teh voice, I just couldn't place it for some reason.
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Thanks For The Frisbee
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Post by Thanks For The Frisbee »

Ross wrote: Frisbee ... the second verse doesn’t work as well for me lyrically and holds the song back a smidge. Good-
i absolutely agree with this ross, i didnt realize how stupid the phrasing was until after it posted. i hadnt listend to it that much before hand.
i liked the ridalin angle but the lyric usage was pretty awkward.
thanks for the review!
Thanks for the frisbee is on Spotify, iTunes, Apple Music ect.
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Post by PlainSongs »

Cheers all, that was good and interesting. I find it quite helpful to listen to all this differing stuff and figure out what I like and why...

Charlie Cheney : Very engaging rock'n'roll feel. I like the organ, your voice, all the playing actually. And it all sounds crisp. Lyrically, it's on the simple and repetitive side but I really enjoy this song on the whole.

FAWMit : This sure is nice and mellow, and I like the little situation sketch. A punch (drum roll? different voicing? something) somewhere might have added extra crunch. Mix the vox more to the 'front'? It's clear, but somehow I picture the singer standing behind all the instruments, or in the next room.

Jeff Robertson & the Neo-Candylanders : Cool. This sounds really genuine. Love the keyboard details, the multi-vox "Laura", the nice drum break and guitar solo midway, and the speed coda too! Though the fade-out ends too abruptly. It's heterogeneous structurally and that's cool. Lyrics kind of grown-up too. And it's a feat to make a song that is fun, dancy, rocking and serious at the same time. Great!

Lord of Oats : It seems I often find vocals too quiet, and once more here. Your lyrics are neat but I have to strain a bit to hear them, so I find myself enjoying the guitar solo more than the vocal parts. And I dig that guitar solo quite a bit, long and sweet. And the drums! Now only the vox volume.

Mandy On Fire : Silly :) Makes me think 'Monty Python when they play a female character'. Enjoyed it.

Plain Songs for Doves & Tigers : The flu took much time and gave stuffed ears and a sore throat, but I didn't wan to let this die. @Ross: like you say, there should have been cutting, or else more spice here and there. And production. Apart from the Aspirin it's fortunately not autobiographical :) I've not read or seen Naked Lunch but the movie synposis does raise an eyebrow.

Melvin : Well done and radio ready as Ross wrote. I like distinct elements but the 20sec intro kind of defines the song, and it's not quite my thing :-/ I liked the intricate and colourful architecture of your "I Want To Get On It" better.

PQ Band : Simple but intuitively likeable... both voice and guitar are nice. However midway I was hoping for some development which didn't come, a bit of a let-down. Somehow reminded me of the Doors and Bruce Springsteen's "I'm on Fire".

Ross Durand : At some point (just after the knickerbockers) I could imagine Dylan chiming in, slowly, "How does it feel?..." :) I really enjoyed this but perhaps the choice of chords made it not stand out too much. Sweet harmonica.

Second Banana : I need to adjust a bit to this one, but the siren-like stuff in the back actually, a bit oddly, works in keeping my attention. The vocals not so much though, not distinct enough. So I end up listening to the siren and bleeps and the whole of it and I like it.

Thanks for the Frisbee : Sweet song, especially the harmonizing. The lyrics are not too suprising ("hero vs 'them'", a bit) but I like them well enough. Nice singing.

Titans of Eklekto-clash : Neat. Good lyrics, 2nd minute especially. I can't find much in particular to say about the music, but it sure works, groove and samples and layering and all. The extra voice at the end is good!

WreckdoM : Huh? Huh! :) Must have been fun to make... Gets back to 'normal' just in time, though maybe I was hoping it would lapse back into crazy afterwards. Very original. The wildebeest and Greek gods are memorable. Last song on the list and the end made me laugh. Thanks! :D
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Post by MintyHandy »

Charlie Cheney

I like the music, I like the lyrics, I like the arrangement, I wish you'd not pushed the delivery quite so hard at first, but it grew on me. Overall lots of fun; I wish I could hear Van Halen (with David Lee Roth) doing this song.

FAWMit

Basically solid, but needs fewer words and more hook.

Jeff Robertson and the Neo-Candylanders

Took a long time to get to the lyrics, then it sounded like a different (and less enjoyable) song. I feel like this arrangement would have worked better if you'd jumped straight into the second verse arrangement, and your vocals would benefit from more variety and less follow-the-beat phrasing. Nice guitar!

Lord of Oats

Hearing this right after Jeff Robertson, it's similar but not quite as successful. Kind of underwhelming, like you were making it up as you went along.

Mandy On Fire

Uhm.

Melvin

Your vocal's awkward, your arrangement is a little loose. The chorus, however, kicks my ass six ways to sunday, from the arrangement to the delivery to the progression to the lyrics. If you could bring the rest of the song up to the same level, this could be on the radio today. Great work.

Plain Songs for Doves and Tigers

I wish this was the name of your album instead of your band. I love the nimble guitar work and your understanded delivery, charming and a great showcase for the lyrics; it loses a lot when you start strumming, though, so you'd have been better off trusting the light handed approach. With about 1:50 to go, the strumming is suddenly much more successful. I wish this were shorter, but overall it impossible for me not to like this, and by extention you. Nicely done.

PQBand

There was no melody for me to latch on to; a challenging song and ultimately a disappointing one. Not a lot of there there.

Ross Durand

Interesting take on the title, well played and a good chorus; the rest isn't engaging enough for me to fall in love with it, though. Great bass playing. Lyrically a bit on the nose.

Second Banana

Like the disco version of PQBand's entry, and the lyrics don't quite line up with anything. Not digging this one, sorry.

Thanks for the Frisbee

I like your voice without the effects, stick with it. Nice harmonies. Nice lyrics (except the phrasing on the second verse.) Moves along nicely, adorable. The chorus is almost an anticlimax, though; I wanted a bit more. Overall a charmer.

Titans of Electroclash

I smiled from the first note. Good production values, strong commitment to the arrangement. Danceable, could be in the club without anyone batting an eye. The medical lyrics stand out a bit too much for a dance number, though, you'd have done better by taking the clever back down a notch and trusting the beat. In the second chorus this suddenly sounds like an opening theme from an episode of Lucy Daughter Of The Devil. This may get my vote!

WreckdoM

Apt "album" name, but there are some nuggets of gold in here. If you take this as an ODing person's inner monologue, it's genius head to toe.
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Post by jeff robertson »

Reviews coming. In the meantime, liner notes.

This is a solo project. "The Neo-Candylanders" is a joke that some of my friends would get, most of whom don't listen to songfight. (Or if you do, you never vote for me, you bastards). I didn't think this fit as a Flvxxvm Florvm song and I wanted more for a band name than "Jeff Robertson".

The instrumental section before the lyrics start was originally played by a (fake) string quartet. But because the strings never returned for the rest of the song, it didn't seem to fit, so I gave it to an instrument (the organ) that later comes back. (Even though it doesn't bring the chorus effect back with it when it returns)

The first verse originally had the same guitar/bass/drums arrangement as the 2nd and 3rd verses, but I wanted the song to build in volume from the beginning so I went back and acousticified it. The acoustic is capoed at the 2nd fret with the low E tuned back down to E from F#.

Electric guitars were recorded direct, clean, and dry. No distortion, no amp, no nothing. They are processed with Simulanalog's tube screamer model for distortion and the amp/cab impulse responses that came with REAPER.

The shouted "Laura" is four-tracked. I really wanted it to sound like 4 guys, not like one guy multi-tracked. To that end, each of the 16 instances is a separate take, there is no recycling of them. The timing of these is sloppy on purpose; I actually time-shifted them around after recording to make them less in sync than they were at first, to try to heighten the illusion of it being more than one person shouting. (I don't think it will fool anybody; probably should have put different EQ or FX on different tracks) They are actually distorted, but I don't think you can really notice that because of how short they are.

I always intended to record some kind of shouted exclamations at the start of the fast section at the end, like the way Tom Petty shouts "ay!" before every guitar solo his band ever played, or the full-band "hey! hey! hey! hey!" breakdown of Springsteen's "Rosalita". But I just never got around to it.
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Post by PlainSongs »

jeff robertson wrote:I wanted the song to build in volume from the beginning so I went back and acousticified it.
Good choice!
jeff robertson wrote:I really wanted it to sound like 4 guys, not like one guy multi-tracked. ... (I don't think it will fool anybody
I wasn't sure but could have been convinced there were some pals of yours involved. It sounds neat in any case.

Just noticed the vocals lag behind the rest a tiny fraction sometimes... but I may actually like that.
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Post by jeff robertson »

PlainSongs wrote: Just noticed the vocals lag behind the rest a tiny fraction sometimes... but I may actually like that.
I've found that no matter how I adjust my soundcard and DAW settings, I sometimes have to go back after recording and manually line up things that I'm fairly sure were not that far out of time when I performed the track. It doesn't happen all the time, but it happened with the vocals on this song. It seems to happen on some days, and not on others.
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Post by tuuur »

Here be my first songfight reviews evah.

Charlie Cheney
I like it. It's got some 70s David Bowie feel on it, reminded me of Hang on to yourself. Vocals could be a bit less over the top.

FAWMit
Drums and rhythm guitar are a bit too simple for me. Lead guitar is nice though, as is the idea for the lyrics.

Jeff Robertson and the Neo-Candylanders
Nice intro! Good rock sound, but indeed the lead vocals tend to be off the beat a bit. And a great solo too!

Lord of the Oats
I like those drums too, but still I think they could be a bit more in the background. Lead guitar seems to be a bit flat to me, but the guitar solo is right up my alley.

Mandy on Fire
That must have been fun to make!

Melvin
Very pro sounding. But the verse is a bit dull sounding; luckily the chorus makes up for that.

Plane songs for doves and tigers
Well done, I like the sparse arrangement. That chorus is great, too bad it is so short. All in all this is too long to keep me interested; I expected it to end at around 3:20.

PQBand
Talking about sparse! And short. Nice, but it lacks melodic diversity.

Ross Durand
Well done, very Bob Dylan indeed. Only things I didn't like that much are the lead vocals, which I find are a bit too dramatic; and the harmonies in the last chorus which didn't harmonize that well.

Second Banana
Whoa, ease up on those fx... :wink:
Sounds way over the top, but you meant to do that of course. I like it.

Thanks for the Frisbee
Nice and poppy. Vocals are a bit wavery... could be more confident.

Titans of Eklekto-clash
This sounds excellent! That ending is... uh.. unexpected, and too soon.

WreckdoM
Nice collage and audio drama. Sounds like you need to be on drugs to fully get it.
From 3:33 on it's almost like a normal song, but this is entirely not for me.
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Post by tuuur »

jeff robertson wrote:
PlainSongs wrote: Just noticed the vocals lag behind the rest a tiny fraction sometimes... but I may actually like that.
I've found that no matter how I adjust my soundcard and DAW settings, I sometimes have to go back after recording and manually line up things that I'm fairly sure were not that far out of time when I performed the track. It doesn't happen all the time, but it happened with the vocals on this song. It seems to happen on some days, and not on others.
It happens to me when I did too much to one song. I guess memory is cluttered up with all files it has to store in case of an undo. Saving the project and restarting Reaper helped in my case.
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Post by PiGPEN »

Charlie Cheney
Noting really wrong with this but its kinda.....corny? I dont know but i cant get into it. Love the occasional organ.

FAWMit
Nice lyrics but the "boy"s get tiring. Everything else is good.

Jeff Roberts
Ah, this intro is great.....reminds me of Earthbound. Oh hello fake-sounding-grating-country voice! Song structure is great, lots of nice changes. Another synth solo like the intro please....no, guitar...this is alright....ooh it fades into the synth....not much of it though. Good song....can you tell what that synth was? I want.

Lord of Oats
Nice lyrics, bad vocals. Ok music. Like the drums.

Mandy On Fire
O lawd. Funny....just needs some bass......im guessing your voice cant do bass given this sounds like you got your testicles caught in a trash compacter.

Melvin
Going to go listen to more songs by you.

Plain Songs for Doves & Tigers
Nu. Nu nu bo no. Dont like, going too long.....skipping to end. Oh come on...what kinda ending is that? Atleast the ending makes sense.....song died.

PQ Band
Needs more to it. Better ending needed also, i thought it had cutoff due to streaming.

Ross Durand
This sounds country STRIKE 1. AHH BAD FAKE COUNTRY VOICE!!!! STRIKE 2!!. "I wonder if we'll know your name when youre inducted into the Hall of Shame" STRIKE 3, OUT!

Second Banana
Vocals dont fit well with the music. Like the music. BAD "MMM"S!!! Nice outro. In future work harder on fitting the vocals in....and no "MMM"s!!!!

Thanks for the Frisbee
Nice vocals, nice lyrics, good use of doubled vocals. Sounds like The Decemberists (although thats the only band i know like this). I think it could use some light drums, some hats atleast.

Titans of Elektoclash
Generic techno. Bad secondary vocals.

Wreckdom
This is cool. Not interested in the rapping. The constant channel switching is tripping me out duuuuuddddeeeee. Aha, a break into something kinda normal....this is good too. Like the vocals here alot. The sax is hawt. Lol nice ending.

Melvin or Wreckdom could either get my vote....but since Wreckdom is the clear underdog of the two i'll go with him.
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jeff robertson
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Post by jeff robertson »

PiGPEN wrote: Ah, this intro is great.....reminds me of Earthbound. Oh hello fake-sounding-grating-country voice! Song structure is great, lots of nice changes. Another synth solo like the intro please....no, guitar...this is alright....ooh it fades into the synth....not much of it though. Good song....can you tell what that synth was? I want.
It's the sfz VSTi with the "General User" soundfont. I just barely know anything about soundfonts but I think it's pretty well known. I do love it's organ. The chorusy sound on the start at the start is not part of the patch, it's just a chorus effect.

And that's really what I sing like naturally when I don't try to sound non-country.
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Ross
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Post by Ross »

I also did not do any deliberate "affectations" or "country voice" on my singing besides trying to deliver the song well.
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Post by PiGPEN »

jeff robertson wrote:And that's really what I sing like naturally when I don't try to sound non-country.
Ross wrote:I also did not do any deliberate "affectations" or "country voice" on my singing besides trying to deliver the song well.
Well given i grew up in the South, you guys are either forcing it or you both have an accent that his half-north/half-south and honestly sound retarded!
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Post by Second Banana »

PiGPEN wrote:BAD "MMM"S!!! Nice outro. In future work harder on fitting the vocals in....and no "MMM"s!!!!
You mean at the end, where the lyrics are just "mmm"? Sorry. Won't happen again.
I apologise in advance
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Post by jeff robertson »

charlie cheney - very good recording quality. good organ. vocals are a little too much.

FAWMit - like the lead guitar. nice little folksy sound going on. the direct reference to Heath Ledger will make this seem pretty dates in a few years. He was a good actor but I doubt that his death will remain in public consciousness forever, like Marilyn Monroe or James Dean. Simply because no dead celebrity will EVER be long-remembered like that again, now that we have 24/7 media overload and a different starlet in rehab every week.

Lord of Oats - lyrics and overall arrangement are pretty good. guitar solo could have been shorter. were the drums recorded inside an empty metal warehouse?

Mandy on Fire -If your goal was to sound like Mickey Mouse, consider it accomplished.


Melvin - nothing to complain about. sounds radio-ready.

Plain Songs - like the atmosphere. some strange vocal inflexions here.. what kind of accent does your speaking voice have to result in this sound when you sing?

PQband - very spare instrumentation like this usually only works for me when the instrument is acoustic, but you somehow pull it off. I am in fact unable to tell how many or what kind of instruments you are playing, but whatever it is it works and somehow has quite a bit of rythm even without any drums. ends kind weak.

Ross Durand - pretty strong, though I don't think it's your best. Dylan like. especially the harmonica and the melody.

Second Banana - some pretty annoying noises in there, but I think that's probably intentional.

Thanks For the Frisbee - good sound and arrangement; lyrics are awkward in places.

titans of eklektoclash - good synthy number. good vocals too.

wreckdom - like someone said, just listenting to this is like being on drugs. after a promising start, it gets pretty hard to listen to.
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Post by tuuur »

My vote went to Jeff here.
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Post by Paco Del Stinko »

I too voted for the Jeff Robertson Candyland Experience.
Bringin' the stink since 2006.
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Post by The Weakest Suit »

jeff robertson wrote:FAWMit - like the lead guitar. nice little folksy sound going on. the direct reference to Heath Ledger will make this seem pretty dated in a few years.
well, there's absolutely no chance i'll ever be performing this song live, since i don't ever play live, but the beauty of it is that none of the other lyrics are made to rhyme with Heath, so you could just substitute his name for the latest celebrity drug overdose, of which there will be no shortage.
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