Tri-State Area

[sparks]

it's hard when you're a wealthy transvestite
to be a midwest local hero
it's a burden when you own a car lot
to sell shirts of the drug czar's son

[chorus]
I damn near own the tri-state
aaareeeeaaaaa
cause I'm all full of...
beans and rice and carob and shakes and mints and skittles gum
allspice and jeans and arms and three and a shoe. And MISSILES!

it's fair when you're in a catfight
to steal the Caesar's stereo
broken down cars in the Safeway express lane
I will avenge your death.

I know
I know
I know it's wrong
I know
It's so
It's practically pornographic
It's essentially Robert Mitchum
It's basically
antioxidentally
fundamentally
Hey, what's that?!

[chorus]

And then he...

[Denyer]

This will be as Koalas With Guns unless I decide to re-do it as UCSF.

Tri-State Area
Half the fuckin' country
Takin' Care-a-ya
Chunky Funky Monkey

Tri-State Area
From South to New South baby
Mass Hysteria
Crazy Shady Lady

Tri-State
Tri-State
Tri-State
Area

Tri-State
Tri-State
Tri-State
Area

Prostate
Prostate
Prostate
Area

Tri-State
Tri-State
Tri-State
Area

Tri-State Area
Half the fuckin' country
Takin' Care-a-ya
Chunky Funky Monkey

Tri-State Area
Steve Bracks, Mike Rann, Bob Carr
Carry Malaria
Bizzare Milk-Bar Cigar

Ye-yeah

[Märk]

A trail of dead behind me
And they will never find me
The Tri-State Area's in fear
A broken mind shifts into gear

2 years to the day
Since you went away
I'm tired of looking for you now
And you don't wanna be found

I've wasted so much time
Staring at the dotted line
Wondering "will this be the day?"
And hiding those who got in the way

See what you have made me?
Some might call it crazy
I quite enjoy this new-found thrill
So many people left to kill

[the idiot king]

tri-state area
by the idiot kings


we must end this clawing silence
that violently oscillates and tears us apart
this beautiful mirror was broken by you and me
but we were the ones who built it, so how hard can fixing it be?

and even during the worst of this complex mess,
the tri-state area couldn't interest me any less

because new york city has nothing to offer me
i can call nowhere home if you're not there

i raised my finger to your watering eye
knowing we're both to blame but not knowing why
well, trust me when i tell you i don't want to be like this
paranoid and bloodthirsty between every kiss

and as spiteful as this current state gets,
the tri-state area couldn't interest me any less

because new york city has nothing to offer me
i can call nowhere home if you're not there

i can't do this alone,
come back home.

[TVsKyle]

Tri-State Area by TV's Kyle

Well, I've got a nagging sense of dread.
That you're laughing at my misshapen head.
One takes a spill or three
Exploring this country's majesty.

The breeze and the bugs sail past my face
As I sail on my Vespa through this place
'Course I crash a-now and then
You've got to take it on the chin
Exploring this great tri-state area.

Tri-state area, I need to know you
Tri-state area, you need to show your great beauty to me
The rivers, farms, the grass, and trees
My heart is in the tri-state area

The air smells of onion grass and cows
As I wander from small town to small town
I can trust the citizens
To bandage up my broken limbs

Every diner on the way
Serves their breakfast all day everyday
The locals find me entertaining
Here, with all the limbs I'm spraining
Exploring this great tri-state area.

Tri-state area, I need to know you
Tri-state area, you need to show your great beauty to me
The rivers, farms, the grass, and trees
My liver's in the tri-state area

The rivers, farms, the grass, and trees
Have taken their toll on my knees
Carry me to bed, if you please
I think I caught a grand disease
Exploring this great tri-state area.

[Plat]

Tri-State Area
by The Cow Exchange

Hey, what's a Tri?
When you attempt things!
Hey, what's a state?
That can mean lots of things!
Hey, what's an area?
That means a few things too?
What's a tri state area?
Let me ..explain it!
Ok!

Let's measure the area of three states!

Alaska, Texas, California: 1,088,733 square miles = 1.05 quadrillion Twinkies
(if you lay them in the area)

New Jersey, New Hampshire and Vermont: 27,688 sq miles = 26.83 trillion Twinkies
(if you lay them in the area)

Rhode island, Delaware, Connecticut: 9,043 sq miles = 8.76 trillion Twinkies
(if you put them in the area)

Americans eat 500 million Twinkies each year, so at our current rate it'd take 17,520 years to eat the area of Rhode Island, Delaware and Connecticut combined. Why, even on the District of Columbia alone you could lay 66.13 billion Twinkies, taking 132.26 years.

That's not so bad.. if everyone eats twice as much as they usually do, that's only 66 years (to eat them all)! We should do it! We should put a bunch of twinkies in Washington D.C.

Well, there already are a bunch of twinkies in Washington D.C. (airheads!)

But hey, did you know that uncompressed twinkies consist of 68% air?

It's not funny, but it's true!

And it reminds me of 3 other states: solid, liquid and gas. Hmm, let's see!

When water freezes at zero degrees Celsius, its volume increase by about 9%. And when a liquid, like water, turns into a gas, well it goes all over the place and, how're you gonna measure that anyway? And it's not really an area so much as volume, but it depends on the shape.... (unintelligible)

I'm bored! I'm sad! I'm vexated!

Hey! Those are states too! Mental states! Everybody, shave your heads... ...okay, good GOOD! Now ready your markers, and circle the areas of your brain that are affected as you hear them!

Let's measure the area of three states!

Abulia, fugue, agitation
Anhedonia, doubt, botheration
Interestedness, confusion, anxiety
Consciousness, delusion, psychopathy
Identity crisis, nervousness, depression
Enchantment, amnesia, dissassociation
Trauma, hypnosis, depersonalization
Wonder, certainty, preoccupation
Morale, hallucinosis, elation

Now you know your 1, 2, 3's. Go ahead and eat Twinkies!

[Poor June]

Poor June
<i>lyrics and music by yours truely</i>


here in the tri-state area
we've been drowning in our fears
just when will we come around?
when will we realize what we have here?

come around, oh yea cum on me baby
that's right, i like it like that
oh you always know where to touch me
oh yea, oh good, that is right...

comin' back from the tri-state area
home to where i know i am
family and a girl on the side
tonight, i'm feelin' quite alright...

come around, oh yea cum on me baby
that's right, i like it like that
oh you always know where to touch me
oh yea, that's good, oh i am fine...

(synth outro\m/)

[Southwest_Statistic]

Southwest Statistic - Tri-State Area

you popped up from out of nowhere
and quickly took my picture
you looked just like a girl i loved
you didn't know how much i missed her

you said that you where an artist
i said "really, I'm a musician."
i asked if you'd like some coffee,
you accepted my proposition.

am i asleep, its to surreal
the way you look its to ideal
the way you smile - it makes me feel
in love - its so unreal
deep down i know my hearts not right
but I'll pretend for one last night
haven't felt this in the longest time

since i left the Tri-State Area

wrapped my coat around your back
to keep you from the rain
you said none'nd ever been that nice
and that you cant complain

i had parked right outside the front
in my big yellow truck
you laughed at how dumb it looked
and that i knew all the girls at starbucks