Punchlines. Just the punchlines

Justincombustion · Post by **Justincombustion** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 10:34 am

Funniest punchline gets a date with one of my sisters. Or the chance to ask them out. Just the punchline.

"No," the supervisor at the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory said, "I told you to give them two TEST TICKLES."

jimtyrrell · Post by **jimtyrrell** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 10:48 am

Two, but damned if I know how they get in there.

Bolio · Post by **Bolio** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 11:20 am

Oh man, this is obvious:

"Rectum? Nearly killed him!"

Bolio · Post by **Bolio** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 11:21 am

And I really hope your sisters aren't the ones wearing the shirts with 'those there Duke Boys' on them.

Leaf · Post by **Leaf** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:19 pm

FULL.

Hoblit · Post by **Hoblit** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:32 pm

because MAN riding MY bicycle.

Orange you glad I didn't say bannana?

Forget your daughter, I want that cow!

Niveous · Post by **Niveous** » Fri Oct 01, 2004 1:25 pm

So the cop said "Voodoo Dick, my ass".

prayformojo · Post by **prayformojo** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:02 am

The sister date is not necessary. I am merely here to help further the great sport of Punchlining.

Not Being Retarded.

Blee-otch!

It lookrd so good I ate the whole thing off myself.

Gazelles · Post by **Gazelles** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 10:27 am

Argghhh it's drivin' me nuts.

Märk · Post by **Märk** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 12:05 pm

"Well," he replied, "She's got worms, and I just LOVE fishing."

erik · Post by **erik** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 12:14 pm

"ha-HA, *I'm* the busdriver!"

"Well, excuse me Ma'am, not everyone knows how to spell Mississippi."

Post by jb » Sat Oct 02, 2004 2:31 pm

WELCOME TO JAMAICA MON, HAVE A NICE DAY!

roymond · Post by **roymond** » Sat Oct 02, 2004 6:58 pm

No soap, radio!

JonPorobil · Post by **JonPorobil** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 8:09 pm

Hmm, I think a good deal of these don't work without the beginning of the joke. I mean, I know most of these, so I can't really say for sure. What the hell, I'm up for it.

1. "Because you got an F in Sex!"

2. "Well, one's a cunning buch of runts..."

3. "Run a javelin through its head."

4. "He worked it out with a pencil."

5. "So the doctor says, 'I'm just kidding, man, he was dead when you walked in!'"

6. "So Descartes says 'I think not...' and disappears."

and last but not least...

7. "Oh sorry, I forgot to pick the scabs this time."

the Jazz · Post by **the Jazz** » Sun Oct 03, 2004 10:26 pm

He kicked the third sack, and the blonde said, "Potatoes!"

None. Jazz musicians can't afford light bulbs.

With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once.

Justincombustion · Post by **Justincombustion** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 7:37 am

...and the local said "Yeah, but you picked the ugliest one in the flock!!"

c hack · Post by **c hack** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 8:24 am

"Well," the egg said, rolling over in a huff, "I guess we answered THAT question, now didn't we?"

So far Sven wins in my book, btw.

JonPorobil · Post by **JonPorobil** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 8:29 am

I dunno, Cse... Bolio made me chuckle verily...

8. "Gah! A talking cookie!"

Justincombustion · Post by **Justincombustion** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 9:34 am

..."All right" said the Tribal Chief, "Death by UNGA BUNGA!!"

Bolio · Post by **Bolio** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 10:53 am

"Big enough to fit a camel"

jimtyrrell · Post by **jimtyrrell** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 12:42 pm

Some more punchlines that may or may not make sense:

And the guy behind the counter says "Look buddy, I can sell you the fire extinguisher, but the radiator's staying here".

*****

Because his wife died.

*****

"Well," said the salesman, "if just TOUCHING it made you fart, you're gonna SHIT when you hear the price."

*****

On a bull, the horns are in the FRONT and the asshole is in the BACK.

*****

fodroy · Post by **fodroy** » Mon Oct 04, 2004 1:55 pm

"but not for free."