Jealousies expressed of the prodigal son (Frank reviews)

[supremeedible]

Don't be afraid to be frank!

[casadelsueno]

Though I'm a little disappointed that Erin K & Tash didn't whistle this week, I'm still planning to vote for them.....43 times!

[Erin&Tash]

Thank you! We did include the much detested computerized cymbal at the end though. (you know you love it)

Here's some background on the song...

I was thinking about how women (and men, of course) often pull back and forth between feelings of desire and then repulsion in response to the romantic attentiveness of their love interests. In other words...

Samantha says: "Why hasn't Frank called! It's been two days already and he hasn't even sent a text message! I just know he's the one now. I want to die. I'm going to kill myself if he doesn't phone by midnight tonight. Hand me that tub of ice cream." [switches on Ani Di Franco]

2 hours later Frank does indeed call. He has a good excuse and sets up a date for the following evening, thereby averting what might have resulted the tragic transformation of Samantha into an angry and depressed man-hater (and fat).

[Cue REM's Shiny Happy People music video]

Anyway, things go ok for a few weeks (or hours) until Samantha realizes that Frank ACTUALLY fancies her too (up until now she has been under the illusion that Frank was in fact a super love god and she, but a mere mortal who would have to grow super powers in order for him to love her back...so they could make babies and get a house together and a pair of 2 cute Bichon Frise... you get the idea - incidentally, why do people always have 2 of these dogs?)

http://i624.photobucket.com/albums/tt32 ... -breed.jpg

So upon this realization the tables turn. Samantha now likens his once-passionate kisses to those of her Uncle Jimmy (I'm not implying that she makes out with her uncle, just that she really doesn't like them). The light brush of Frank's hand against her leg now feels like a thousand fire ants all biting in time to the Shiny Happy People music video. Ani Di Franco doesn't work either. In fact, she's now listening to gangster music and walking with a swagger! I could keep going but I'll get sidetracked...

What I'm trying to say is that she wants him to love her but not too much. She wants him to act like he doesn't give a shit so that she can. The reality is that she actually likes the whole game of it all and love really had nothing to do with it.

Hmmmmm....So, to the point. I thought I'd write a song for this kind of split personality love syndrome. Someone also commented that I maybe I had copped out of writing lyrics to the song for last week's fight so I thought I'd go that extra mile and write two sets of lyrics that work in time to one another. Hopefully it's not too distracting. One lyric follows Samantha hopelessly in love, and the other follows Samantha repulsed. They should be panned in your headphones/speakers accordingly.

Thanks for listening. I'll post the lyrics tomorrow once I've figured out how to word it.

Erin xx

[MENBAH!]

Hey everyone. Been out of the loop for a long time, so if I say things you’ve heard 3,000 times, my bad. Anyway, let’s do it.

EAandM: Too much machine-gunning. Why do I suspect it’s to keep me from falling asleep during the song? Don’t get me wrong, it totally worked.

Erin K: Thanks for the handy listening guide. I feel like I should listen to this a lot more times; perhaps I will. In the meantime, I like this concept… and the execution, for that matter. Must have been tough to pull off, especially with the harmonies coming in and out. Good show; consider it voted-for.

Jan Krueger: Music piracy, as explored by Brian Wilson. Weird. I almost love it.

j$: “Jack, jack, jack” made me giggle. Will we have a jilted-lover theme this time? Oh – nice twist. Also, “Could you please fuck off?” is how every song should end.

Kasper: Nice groove. Good job on the acoustic drum break – is that a mop bucket? My favorite percussion instrument. The track is smoove. S’mooving on…

Montana Fudge: Straightforward and unadorned. Some cuteness here, but a bit dry and don’t-know-how-to-singy – if it’s intentional, like it sounds, it’s kinda annoying; if not, sorry for being a dick.

New Era: Good energy. Unexpected chorus progression, which doesn’t happen too often. I like the conversationality, and the solo. Damn near voteworthy, but not quite top-tier I’m afraid.

Paco del Stinko: Like the change in feel between verse and chorus. The beat and burning-alive first line grabbed me right away. That chorus is also nicely done in its own right – the vocal sounds very vulnerable, or longing, or something. Emotional, anyway. Nice synth in the breakdown-bridge, followed by a fairly tasty guitar solo. Easiest vote of them all.

Panna Cotta Army: Is that a melodica? I want one! Gorgeous production, but the song doesn’t quite grab me by the junk. Not particularly objective, so please ignore it.

Ratt Poizon: I like Ween too, but they moved on about 15 years ago.

Shatterfront: I am not the right person to ask about this style of music, though I will say that the counterpoint in the chorus made my ears tired.

Thornberry: Good intro; quite attention-grabbing. Slinkiness of the groove is abetted by the delay on the vox. Was this on The Crow soundtrack? Oh, here’s the fast section, and now the vox are dry; good. This song is epic! Even more than the long running time suggests. Were I not such an unapologetic pop-head, I could see this one getting a vote.

McHatton: “Man/understand” probably isn’t the strongest rhyme to open a song with. Pretty bloozy stuff here, and well done. That the song seems to be about underwear makes me feel like I have had a practical joke played on me, in a bad way – and there are 2 minutes left. Anyway, the production is nice.

Torrentz: When you get to “you’re as welcome in this house as a kangaroo,” the rhyme’s expiration date has passed, methinks. The “dad hits mom” verse is affecting, and the joke at the end was a pleasant surprise. I like the chorus, and the beat and all that. Not quite enough to push it over the top, though.

TV’s Kyle: Uh-oh, we used roughly the same angle – and the same rhyme at the top. A bit of a Weird Al, kitchen-sink approach, which works just fine given the running time. OK, maybe a little cloying by the end – but who am I to talk? I wrote a novelty song too. A fine effort.

Walt Cronin: Nothing about this surprised me from the first note. Glad/sad/mad/bad, ugh. I don’t hate the song, but it could use some work. A bridge, a harmonica solo, anything. Even with all that kinda stuff, it might still be terribly average as far as home-from-war folk songs go. Sorry.

Weakest Suit: My favorite solo-singer-songwriter track of the week. I like how the vocals play with rhythm in spots. The melody is pretty. Oh – and you’re just down the road (I just moved back to Indiana). Good work, neighbor!

[wages]

INCREDIBLE artwork dude!

[TVsKyle]

I'm a bit wary of posting reviews this early on since I'm not a regular here these days... but somebody's got to do it.

Torrentz: Production's real nice, but I wish the vocals was just a liiiiittle more present. First voice is weird and I like it. This is high quality stuff, but it'd work so much better if that bloopy riff had a melody to it rather than just an octave. It also gets monotonous hearing it through the choruses.

EAandM: I don't understand... why do you want to play loud sound effects over your song so we can't hear it? I'd venture if you could pipe THOSE earsores in, you could pipe in some bass and drum loops so your reasonably decently-written song wouldn't fall flat as a guy with guitar number. Also, EQ something. Anything.

Thornberry: I can't hear your vocals. It's a shame, they sound like they'd be nice if I could hear them. Bass sounds cool. Anytime the piano is isolated, it sounds lame. You play fine, it just sounds really electronic when you do. It sounds fine mixed in with the other instruments. You know, that's what's bothering me about this... I'm dying for some sort of grit in your production. It's just too damn clean. My brain wants Ben Folds production and it's not getting it. Boy, this song sure sounds like it wants to be important. I wish it had a hook instead. (Or in addition, I should say.)

Paco del Stinko: This sounds pretty cool! It's like a good opening band. Not one I'd like as much as the leading act, but I'd grab your free CD and get on your mailing list. The chorus is catchy, but feels too repetitive by the end. I like the keyboardy sounds that emerge in the second half of the song, but I wish there were more of them earlier on. Contender. Downloaded.

Jan Krueger: The chorus vocals sound good and kinda Beach Boysy, but the lead vocal is kinda lifeless and square, and it's hurting a rather nice song. I can enjoy odd vocals if they SELL it. Like that first guy in this week's Torrentz entry. Weird voice, but he sells it. Too short!

Erin K & Frank Tashlin: Don't explain your song. I could've enjoyed your cleverness if you hadn't. I like the Garfunkel and Oatesiness of folksy girls saying filthy words. Thank you for including nice harmonies, xylophone hits,and egg shakers to keep us interested in. Pay attention, all guy-with-guitar entries.

Johnny CashNARF: Lead vocal sounds cool, but it's a bit loud. Catchy. I like this sound. Not a single, but a solid album track. Contender.

Great White Ratt Poizon: There are ways to take these exact same tracks and mix them so they have infinitely more impact. I'm thoroughly enjoying the weird factor, but I wish it had some quieter, more stripped-down parts to contrast with the especially chaotic parts.

Todd McHatton: The tinny reverb is killing your blues cred. Your vox are fighting the guitar. (Though they are cool vox.) I kept waiting for your song to start, and it didn't. It sounds a little like The Who, and it makes me want it to sound more like The Who.

Kasper: I liked the opening bongos more than the drums that came in to replace them. Why are you hiding that accordion sound? Competent song, but there's nothing that will make me remember it.

Montana Fudge: Write songs in your range, dude. Bottoming out once or twice to make a refrain work is ok with me, but this isn't working. Guy with guitar only works when it's a catchy, hooky song. This isn't.

Panna Cotta Army: Opening guitar sounds great. Production and instrumentation are great! I wish your vox were more present. This would make a great album closer! I wish it were catchier, but this is too cool good not to be a contender. Melodica sounds awesome. I wish the drums built up a bit for the last verse, but that's nitpicky.

ALL CAPS... I mean NEW ERA: If the vox were lower and there was a bass, this would've been so much cooler. If you had those, this would've been a contender, because this is a lot of fun and really energetic. Wait, it's over? More!

Weakest Suit: If your verses were as catchy as your chorus, you could've gotten by as a guy with guitar song without me complaining. Oh, hey, I like your bridge too. It's JUST the verses killing this. Cryin' shame.

Walt is Croningenically Frozen: Kinda quiet *turns up the volume on his computer*. If you're doing a guy with guitar song, having the verses and chorus have the same chords and nearly the same melody isn't going to work.

Shatterfront: GAH! Not your fault, but I wish I'd remembered to turn my volume back down after Walt's song since this starts off so loud! This is pretty cool, but your vocals don't match everything else. They're really muddy and would be greatly helped by some reverb and echo effects. I really like this ending.

MENBAH!: Damned if we didn't come to the prom wearing the same dress. Yours is my favorite melody this week, but far from my favorite production. Everything but your vocals are too quiet. Your playing is either off the beat sometimes, or your beat is off of everything else. Either way, there's a tightness issue. As you can probably tell, I dig jokey lyrics, but you're going to the obvious, crude joke too often.

Good fight this week! Paco,Johnny, and Panna Cotta get votes.

[casadelsueno]

Thanks for listening. I'll post the lyrics tomorrow

Erin xx

I'm planning to vote once for every word - that's in addition to the 43 times I already voted for you. You're gonna have even more votes than last week!

[Paco Del Stinko]

Ah, yes. Good to see that I don't have to waste my time voting this week. Save my finger tip from potential bruising.

Anyway, some good tunes this week. Reviews to come, but glad to see some old-timey type folks return. Not that I'm necessarily one of them, mind you, but still nice!

[eaandm]

Machine Guns??? What machine guns? I thought I was the only one who here's machine guns!!!

btw, "reasonably decently-written song" and "it totally worked"?

AWESOME!!! Not bad for a drunk guy at four in the morning, who here's machine guns in his head...

[jb]

jesus christ, type much?

[eaandm]

jesus christ, type much?

um, Probably not. It's doubtful he could even read.

[MENBAH!]

btw, "reasonably decently-written song" and "it totally worked"?

Uh, I only meant that the machine guns totally kept me from falling asleep. The song was still crap. Full points for the typing-Jesus comeback, though.

[TVsKyle]

*crickets*

[jb]

Here's some background on the song...

That was rad.

[jb]

Panna Cotta Army is a fantastic songfight band name.

[jb]

Here's some background on the song...

That was rad.

With trepidation I clicked play to listen to your song, 'cause, you know, most people make terrible terrible music no matter how good they are at other things.

But your "Welcome Home Frank" is awesome. Congratulations.

JB

[Erin&Tash]

Here's some background on the song...

That was rad.

With trepidation I clicked play to listen to your song, 'cause, you know, most people make terrible terrible music no matter how good they are at other things.

But your "Welcome Home Frank" is awesome. Congratulations.

JB

Thanks so much. I was up late and thought make a little background story to go along with the song. Glad you liked it. x

[TVsKyle]

Hey, Erin & Tash! While you're hanging around, how 'bout writing some reviews?

[eaandm]

Know I'm a newbww, but here goes:

Jan Krueger=la-la-la-lalala

The Weakest Suit=Guy with a guitar and no machine guns? WTF!

Shatterfront=Started out good, then the room started spinning and I almost passed out.

TV's Kyle= Great music to skate to.

Panna Cotta Army=John Lennon would be proud.

Torrentz= Sorry, but everytime I try and listen to your song, the doorbell rings and I get distracted. Maybe you could mail me a copy.

Paco del Stinko= Rad, really rad

Erin K & Tash=...um...little me got n2it...

NEW ERA= Right ON man!

Walt Cronin= I get it. Think we're on the same page man!

Kasper= Nice! Some flute would go nicely with that.

Johnny Cashpoint= Beatle-esque, well done.

MENBAH!= Loved the trombone...

Ratt Poizon=LMAO! Most excelent indeed!

Thornberry= Great piano work

Montana Fudge= Bobby Brown went down!!? I thought it was Whit who done dat!

Todd McHatton= Pass that bong dude!

EAandM=...um...wait! That's ME!
Okay, here's an explanation of sorts...

Fran's a regular guy just doing his duty. His buddy is just a typical dumbass who would rather stay home where it's safe and enjoy the freedom Frank is willing to die to insure. Frank makes it through his tour without any outward signs of injury, but his wounds are much deeper. The sounds of combat keep Frank awake at night. He wanders the streets looking for piece of mind.

Dmbass>Hey Frank, Where are ya going?

Frank>Going to the war... and I don't know if I'll ever be back again.

Dmbass>Hey Frank, Where are ya going?

Frank>Going to the war... and I don't know if I'll ever be back again.

Dmbass>Hey Frank, Where ya been, Where ya been, Where ya been?

Frank>Been to the war, Been to the war, Been through the war... and I didn't know if I would ever be back again.

Dmbass>Hey Frank, Where ya working, Where ya working, Where are ya working?

Frank>I Been to the war, Been to the war, Been through the war... and I didn't know if I would make it back again.

Dmbass>Hey Frank, Where ya sleeping, Where ya sleeping, Where are ya livin?

Frank>I Been to the war, Been to the war, Been through the war... and I didn't know if I would make it back again. But I did.

Dmbass>Hey Frank, Ya got no job, Ya got no home, ya got no future. Welcome home Frank, Welcome home Frank, Welcome home Frank.

Frank>I Been to the war, Been to the war, Been to the war,Been to the war,Been to the war...



"Although accurate numbers are impossible to come by -- no one keeps national records on homeless veterans -- the VA estimates that 131,000 veterans are homeless on any given night. And approximately twice that many experience homelessness over the course of a year."

google>homeless vets<

[Thornberry]

Alright. I just gone done eating Apples with Store Brand Honey Roasted Crunchy Peanut Butter and watching a Full House episode where Steve Urkel makes a guest appearance, so needless to say I am happy and I swear, none of songs better bring me down!

Now, On the the reviews:

The Weakest Suit- There are times when you sound like Billy Corgan. I guess I am rarely impressed with a song when I know the chords after one listen. I need at least ONE curveball. Nothing at all to hold my interest. Doesn't mean you aren't a great person, or maybe you kick puppies I don't know. But in any case I give it a D+ for reminding me of my Smashing Pumpkins childhood.

ErinK+Tash- I am listening on headphones! Ok So I think your angry side shoulda been angrier. So a good idea, and pretty well executed. Although it is kinda like being at a party where there are way too many people talkin to you at the same time because you are the life of the party but you try to tell them "people please! I am only one really really good looking man!" but they just keep talkin at you. Ya, like that. The song was actually kinda nice, i mighta liked it with just one lyric line too. I guess it wasn't quite as clever as your lengthy explanation built me up for. Its more like on Saturday Night Live (which I dont know if you watch or if its on over there - assuming I read right and you are from London-) but these guys sing opposite Bon Jovi songs so all they is say the opposite of the original lyric. But! All in all, a good idea, a overall well executed idea, and not a bad base of a song either. B because you alluded to a Blow Job

Montanafudge- What? Only one set of lyrics! So Boring. No but seriously, your voice is scary. Nice low D, those aren't too easy to hit! You probably have huge Huevos. I think you didn't really care much about this song, you just wanted to sing really low, and then at one point really high, but never really in the middle. Also, you are talking about your urinary problems, which is, frankly, none of my business. C- for too much information.

NEW ERA- Your name is in all caps, so I therefore think you are extra important. But not important enough for some compression on your voice. I really can't stand a lack of compressed voice, limit that dynamic range! I feel like I am about to have a seizure. See, this is the exact kinda of thing I was hoping to avoid after my apples and peanut butter and Full House. Urkel was on man! Urkel! He asked if Danny had any cheese and now you don't even compress your voice! D+ only because that is what I gave the Weakest Suit and this wasn't worse.

Todd McHatton- So if you have ever heard any of my songs, I am a freakin delay whore, and you used a nice long delay which I appreciate. And also, a lot of reverb. Man to be honest this song has tons of potential. Could be a total Radiohead vibe. You do some cool Rhythm/anti-Rhythm between the guitar and voice that are actually really cool. Ok what I decided just now is this is David Bowie doing Radiohead (or the man Radiohead rip offs). I think a stronger voice and a stronger Percussion section ( I like the idea of the subtle percussion, but a little better executed. My favorite so far. B+ couple of adjustments and you would a gold star, instead of a silver star, whicih people usually just brush off but is actually quite good.

Ratt Poizon- I expect 80's metal. I don't get it though. Did you burp at me? Excuse you mister, cover your mouth. Oh man, if I thought Montanafudge was a scary voice, then I have probably crapped my pants by now from yours. Although yours is artificial so I am guessing your Huevos aren't nearly as large nor manly. And I don't like this song at all my the way. It is about as irratating as they come. But I think rashes on the upper leg are more annoying so you can at least take that away from you. C- cause I just didn't like it, but it wasn't as bad as some others in this fight.

Johnny Cashpoint- Nylon strings? NIce effect. The harmonies are nicely done. Very airy and mixed nicely, and mixing between homophony and polyphony was good. Another song that I think could really do good with stronger vocals. I think if you replaced the guitar noodling with a vocal line and made this an accapella piece, I would liked it better. But not bad. B is for Boy.

**Pauses to rock out to his own song, cause seriously who doesn't do that?**

Torrentz- Fruity Loops? The backing tracks sounds kinda like a casio keyboard from the early 90's that had a demo that sounded a bit like this. This has a higher bitrate but thats about it. I grew up near Richmond CA, where rap was the thing, and I could see this song being played at the local bowling alley. I do like the varying flowing voices. Thats a nice juxtaposition. I don't like it, but its not too bad. B- cause

Shatterfront- No No No, wrong voice. you need to at least put some distortion on the voice to crunch it up. This sounds like a dad trying to make his kids music. does not work at all. Although, thinking about as a Dad tring to making his kids music does make me laugh a little so I get some enjoyment out of it that way. C- for a chuckle

Panna Cotta Army- I am a sucker for tremelo. Just reminds me of a nice 60's tune. Actually the tune is like a 60's song. Sounded like a keyboard harmonica. Was it? if so, get a real one and I like it! See now this song is perfect for 2 AM after apples and full house. This is what i am talking about! Its like you wrote this song simply for this occasion in my life, which is kinda freaky that you knew the night I was going to review songs was the very night I was going to watch Urkel on Full House and eat a delicious apple and PB snack. Not too original but thats ok. I think some vocal harmonies woulda been nice, and I didn't hear any bass. Dunno if there was none or just not mixed right. But overall this was another favorite! B for a solid work.

Paco Del Stinko- Hi Paco. I work with a guy named Paco, but he smells quite pleasant. Nice smile too. Holy crap, I might be attracted to him, this could be a life changing night. Anyways, your song is very la di da. A nice little chorus, but kinda toeing the line between obnoxious and catchy, probably tends to depend on the mood of the person. You have some of the better vocals in this fight, which I appreciate, because good vocals is something that is kinda lacking on songfight in general. I could see this turning in to a ska song. Do you remember Ska? What a weird fad that was, like pet rocks and condoms. Not bad for straight pop. B- because in the end it was just bubble gum to me.

Walt Cronin- Ok so far I am only getting this out of the left channel. That is making my right ear feel extremely left out. And since I love both my ears equally, I cannot give this high marks. Not that I would anyway, your guitar is out of tune and the melody is very very uninspiring. Worst one yet. Its ok someone has to be number *counts number of entries* 18. F. No good.

Kasper- The ghost joke is too obvious, so I am just going to make fun of the third nipple I am pretending you have instead. I don't really have much to say about your song. Its very middle of the road in ju9st about every way. The musicianship is middle of the road, the vocals are middle of the road, the only thing not middle of the road is the third nipple. C because that is middle of the grading road.

MENBAH!- Well aren't you very excited about your name. Whats wrong with a Statue of George W Bush? if it looks like him that is simply a great work of art! Not a bad lip-trumpet. That is my favorite thing so far. Its good for a melody deficient quasy swing song that is just not fit for radio play, not because of the quality, but you are vulgar sir! I like that too actually. C+ for vulgar swing lip-trumpeting

TV's Kyle- It is a little egotistical to claim that TV is Kyle, if you are kyle. This sounds like a Weird Al Yankovic outtake. Is he a big inspiration? It might make sense. I also don't really like the Nintendo Zelda keyboard too much. Its actually funny how much you sing in the Weird Al style. Not my favorite. C- because I love me some Weird Al

Jan Krueger- Very "Who" like harmonies. You know, I have never heard a song with Vocals and Bass only, so that is points right there. This coulda been a lot better if you developed your ideas out a little more and also had a little stronger lead vocal. interesting idea though. C+ wasn't enough of it to get any higher.

EAandM- Is this Nirvana? I hear the famous machine guns. But its kinda like seeing a Celebrity and not being impressed. I was hoping for more. Ya the war sound effects, even if they were high quality, are way too obvious and cheesy. If you used them in a rhythmic or melodic way that would be one thing, but just as a ambient sound effects is outdone and not impressive. So to kinda go on the opposite end I am going to take away points for the machine guns. So it was a stab at like a 60's war protest song (kinda) and a social commentary on the efect of war on Veterans and all that which is all well and good, but it didn't really make the song any good. C- because it was the last song, and my reviews are complete!


Geesh, I can see why there have been so few reviews thus far, that was a freakin chore! Not the best fight I have heard, only a couple of standouts and even those I can hardly remember.

[Caravan Ray]

OK - I'm unemployed for a few more days and bored shitless because I have been living out of a suitcase for 2 months. So I will make a commitment here and now. I will listen to this fight and review it.

...stand by

[j$]

Johnny Cashpoint- Nylon strings? ... if you replaced the guitar noodling with a vocal line ...

It's a semi-acoustic ukulele direct-in, and I'm arpeggiating the chords - one does not noodle, darling Glad you (kind of) liked it. I'm not sure the world is ready for my a capella.

Beatle-esque, well done.

Well, that's the first time in my life I've been compared to the Beatles, favourably or otherwise.