No sunlight in sight (Black Days reviews)

[Lunkhead]

Songs to be posted shortly, then I'm on vacation.

[Lunkhead]

I hit a snag that's delaying me. Somebody sent an email an somehow their attached file's filename in the email is coming through as being encoded differently than my code for downloading the submissions is expecting. Have I mentioned lately how I hate that the songs are submitted via email?

[Lunkhead]

OK, songs posted.

[bdog5778]

Whoa. Lots of solid entries here.

A few (or more) words of explanation, as I've submitted an instrumental (and those always seem to bring out accusations):

Superunknown was a personal favorite of mine - lots of listening time as a high-schooler. I only like half of the songs on there...but since there are 14 total, well, that's 7 songs that I really dig.

In attempting to compose something, I decided on using 6/4 time as a tribute to "Fell on Black Days". This created all sorts of difficulties in creating a drum track since (a) Matt Cameron is quite the master at coming up with odd-time signature beats without them sounding odd and (b) I had a dearth of MIDI drum loops in 6/4 time. Lots of tinkering. The breakdown riff at 2:39 is my odd smerging of the sludgy riff of "Mailman" and the pull-off riff to "Superunknown". The bridge at 3:27 was intended to be in 9/8 time as a tribute to the breakdown in "Black Hole Sun" but ended up working itself out to be in 9/4. Stylistically, I ended up going for something closer to the riff in the bridge of "Rock, Rock, 'til You Drop" by Def Leppard (!) just because, well, it's cool and I've always liked it. The leads, harmonies, and tapping licks are just hallmarks of my style that I've come to accept and yea, verily, embrace. The big drum finish is a tribute to the extended drum outro (which used three drummers) on "Head Down".

I came up with a few vocal melodies but ran out of time to record an actual vocal (which is not my strong suit anyway). I had issues with the fact that what I'd come up with switches back and forth between major and minor quite a bit. That said, it musically suited what I was going to go for lyrically anyway: an acknowledgement of life's negatives while staying focused on the positive.

Welp, that's way too much "behind the music" for one track. I do hope you all enjoy. Cheers!

[Smalltown Mike]

As usual, just a couple thoughts on a couple songs.

Balance Lost – what a really great style. I need to go check out your old stuff. Really like your voice and your style; sometimes it’s slightly out of time (slightly!) but always works well, even when it is. Out of curiosity, how much of the beat/music is sampled? Great work.

Enter it in the Art Show – so. I do dig it, but I generally have a tough time with instrumentals in SF because … what makes this Black Days? No, I don’t need you saying the words Black Days 15 times in the chorus, but some indication as to what makes this song Black Days. (Although the darkness in this little groove lends itself to the title more so than other instrumentals I’ve heard.) But I like this one a lot, enough to complain about the lack of lyrics.

Metaluna – ahhhhhhhhh get a singer. When this started, I was so looking forward to the vocals kicking in, and I was really hoping they were going to be good. Get someone from SF to belt something out for you! Collaborate online! This would be great with a some really nice vocals. (Mix sounds really great, by the way.) Without lyrics, though, this sounds like it really could have been written for any title.

TC Elliot – great! Great opening riff, and I like your voice right off the bat.

Slickitude -- thanks to thehipcola for lead on this after the second chorus. The rest is me.

[jast]

I was going to send in a song, too, but had rotten luck with the trains this week and typically went right to sleep when I got home.

Written in a single setting while listening (songs repeated a few times if necessary). Lyrics mostly ignored, feel free to sue me.

Balance Lost: I love the guitar riff. My very first association was "Stairway To Heaven" but that quickly got displaced by "Buenavista Social Club". The flow in the vocals isn't perfectly smooth and the doubled vocals are a tiny bit on the loose side which is a shame, I think rhythm and timing is crucial with this kind of thing, but it's still good enough I guess. Mixologically the vocals don't quite sit well in the mix, I think the mids stick out a little too much (but I'm not sufficiently well-practiced with mixing vocals to be sure). Overall, a nice listen to but not entirely memorable.

Dollar Bill & the Inkpoints: Synthfest! Again, the vocals aren't quite tight enough, I think, plus a little bit buried (more presence perhaps, possibly by using a resonant lowpass or an exciter near the end of the FX chain, I dunno). The main thing that puzzles me here is the contrast of mostly atonal synths with one that does carry a melody... doesn't quite fit for me. Still, all in all an interesting listening experience that doesn't outstay its welcome.

Lichen Throat: The arrangement of guitars seems a little disjointed. I'm a sucker for chords, so to some extent I'm biased... still, I can go for something less harmonic, like here, I just think the sum of the guitar tracks comes across as a little messy. I think the voice is a little overrepresented, personally I think hard panning main vocals to each side like this is usually too extreme and should only be done sparingly for effect. Vocal melody is somewhat hit and miss and I think it's mainly a technique issue preventing you from getting the right level of stability for slightly higher notes. Let me know if you want more info about this. My overall impression: not bad, but not good either.

Metaluna: I'm coming into this with high expectations after listening to your "Cassini". 5:24 is a tall order, though, let's hope you can deliver. I'm at the halfway point now... so far, so good. Are you planning to get into lyrics and vocals at some point, by the way? Nothing against instrumentals... but that's a whole extra dimension you have yet to explore. Apart from that I don't have a single complaint about your entry this week, so even though this is a style I don't enjoy much I'm still pretty much forced to like this at least a little. Tall order fulfilled, too!

Slickitude: Oddly enough, the amateurish vocals work well for this. Nice clean arrangement and mix and such. Doesn't have that much material in it but given the length I guess that's okay. I don't really care for this kind of music but it's a pretty good entry all the same.

Pigfarmer Jr: Something bugs me about the tails of your guitar strums, did you use compression on the guitar? Solid arrangement and composition. It's a bit on the boring side but it works for the genre, and the glockenspiel is doing its job, too. Tempo and rhythm are a little haphazard during the section transitions. Most importantly, you sound like you were a little tense while singing. I guess you were going for a slightly aggressive vocal tone? Don't tense up to achieve that, instead try slightly pushing your breath down (the sensation you get in your abdomen area when coughing slightly), plus lock your lower jaw such that the teeth are almost perfectly parallel to the upper ones (you can still lower the lower jaw without changing the angle much, it takes a little bit of practice). Then, sing out, trying to keep the sensation of an open throat (like when breathing out almost soundlessly, though of course when singing there will be tiny bit of partial closure, but it should feel quite different from, say, the way you close your throat up when you lift something heavy). Keep the other two things the whole time (and let both go of both between phrases or you'll tense up badly over time). With a bit of practice you can produce a heck of a lot of voice without it sounding squeezed or restrained. Let me know if you'd like to know more about this. Apart from that, tighten up the takes more and turn this from nice to great.

WreckdoM: I'm running out of things to say about your submissions. The backing track is very cool (even if it starts getting a little tiresome after a while and I start wishing for a change-up). The vocals are very not cool.

dark side of the son: I wrote "sun" on autopilot and had to go back. Curse your band name! Anyway. I like the overall mood and chords and such. I think the delay (and doubling?) on the vocals muddies things up a little too much. Also the loudness of the vocals seems to vary quite strongly, from "hard to make out" to "overshadowing the rest" and I can't tell whether it's intentional. Generally this kind of thing can be reduced (without losing the sense of different levels of energy in the singing) by applying a compressor effect, though doing it well takes some practice of course. This is showing promise, a little more variation might be something for the future. It doesn't have to be the pop staple of more power in the chorus and a bridge or two, but that kind of thing definitely works and has for centuries, so worth playing with in my opinion.

Enter It In the Art Show: Nice combination of drum kit and synths. Sounds nicely mellow, though perhaps relatively speaking some individual notes (e.g. ~0:48) stick out a tad. The vocals in the background are a nice touch. The "drip"(?) sound is nice but has a bit of that "machine gun" effect you often get with very cheap acoustic drum samplers because it sounds exactly the same each time, and the tone bend in the drip sound is fairly strong which makes it more noticeable, to me at least. If you can swing it, having several quite similar but subtly different sounds can often enhance the experience quite a bit. Nice section change. Great guitar tone for this. I was expecting an abrupt ending, but not that abrupt. I think a little more work put into the mix could probably add a nice final level of polish, but this is already a great submission and I could totally see myself using it in a soundtrack... if I ever actually did anything that needed a soundtrack.

Votes submitted! Nice fight.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Pigfarmer Jr: Something bugs me about the tails of your guitar strums, did you use compression on the guitar? Solid arrangement and composition. It's a bit on the boring side but it works for the genre, and the glockenspiel is doing its job, too. Tempo and rhythm are a little haphazard during the section transitions. Most importantly, you sound like you were a little tense while singing. I guess you were going for a slightly aggressive vocal tone? Don't tense up to achieve that, instead try slightly pushing your breath down (the sensation you get in your abdomen area when coughing slightly), plus lock your lower jaw such that the teeth are almost perfectly parallel to the upper ones (you can still lower the lower jaw without changing the angle much, it takes a little bit of practice). Then, sing out, trying to keep the sensation of an open throat (like when breathing out almost soundlessly, though of course when singing there will be tiny bit of partial closure, but it should feel quite different from, say, the way you close your throat up when you lift something heavy). Keep the other two things the whole time (and let both go of both between phrases or you'll tense up badly over time). With a bit of practice you can produce a heck of a lot of voice without it sounding squeezed or restrained. Let me know if you'd like to know more about this. Apart from that, tighten up the takes more and turn this from nice to great.

No compression on the guitars, but they are doubled mic'd.. well, actually, it is one line in and one small diaphragm condenser mic blended to taste. I didn't EQ them, either which I should have.

I didn't play to a loop or click and I used copy and paste on the glock so it wasn't really in time. I did some minor tweaks to make it fit a bit better, but.... This song cost me two hours from start to finish (or maybe just a hair less) so "haphazard" is very apt. Almost all single takes (the vocal is a second take, but it isn't comped.) I was out of town and hit this up very quickly upon my return. No excuses, it is what it is. But, to be honest, I don't really remember the song. I guess I'll get reacquainted when I do my reviews.

[Pigfarmer Jr]

Balance Lost: I listened twice back to back and I like this. It's interesting and sounds clear. It's well paced and performed.

Wreckdom: I liked the eerily, floating melody and the rhythm worked very well for me. I'd like a change up of some kind, but it's not bad. I thought the attitude in the vocal fit the overall feel of the song, although it isn't my favorite aspect of the song. That low register bit that gently grows toward the beginning was a tasty touch.

Lichen Throat: It started out like it was gonna be a rocking guitar driven song and you never went that direction. Good rhythm. The single note lines in the guitar are sparse and fit well. The vocal doesn't quite fit. I think it's more a timing issue than anything.

Pigfarmer (me): A fast one with timing issues but isn't terrible, I don't think.

Slickitude: I like guitar driven songs. Good energy. Kind of a grunge feel to your hard rock. Almost a live feel, but the mix sounds clear and nothing negative really stands out.

Art Show: I like the sound, the feel of the track. It has a depth in a place or two that I really dig. I'm not a big fan of the droplet sound that is repeated quite a bit. But otherwise, I enjoyed listening. It may not stay with me long, but it wasn't bad.

Dollar Bill and inkpoints: Even under 3:00 it seems a tad long. I like the sound well enough, but the music doesn't move enough for my taste. Seems like this would benefit from a wickedly cool video.

dark side son: The doubled vox has kind of a cool depth, but the out of time doubling bothers me a bit. And that comes from someone who rarely gets the timing down perfectly. Guitars are pretty static. I like the melody where the vocals match up. You probably could have gotten a similar effect by using a tasteful chorus effect and avoided the timing issues

Metaluna: Oh, holy wow. Digging this quite a bit. Sounds good, performed well. The section from 3:30 - 4:00 didn't do much for me. While it set up the section after 4:00 it did seem a bit drawn out. Otherwise, you kept my attention pretty well. Not always easily done with an instrumental.

[jast]

It's pretty much too late now, but here's a rough version of the song I might have submitted: http://static.music-jk.net/songfight/20 ... k-days.mp3

[furrypedro]

Out of curiosity, how much of the beat/music is sampled?

Cheers for the reviews so far.

My samples are,
Drums: God Made Me Funky - The Headhunters
Acoustic guitar: Candela - Buena Vista Social Club

I played the bass and various synths.

[vowlvom]

Dollar Bill & The Inkpoints - really interesting production, love the bitcrushed drums and crunchy noises. I enjoyed the song, but wouldn't say it's entirely my cup of tea - the fairly monotone vocal fits the style, but I'd have liked to hear a stronger melody. When I briefly considered writing something for this fight I had a similar lyrical theme in mind so *high five*

Dark Side of the Son - this has a nice dreamy feel to it and I like the droney guitars, the vocals overwhelm the rest of the song a bit for me but I generally found this to be an enjoyable listen, nice 60s-esque psych fun.

Pigfarmer Jr - really like that acoustic riff and the doubled vocal and glock are excellent additions. Chorus is pretty catchy and I always love that cheerful melody / melancholy lyric thing.

Metaluna - nicely composed and played with some excellent guitar sounds but while your Cassini worked as an instrumental for me, this one feels like it's missing a melody layer to make it complete... or something. I really love those harmonised lead guitar lines though so I enjoyed this quite a bit.

Slickitude - great energy and really big guitar sound. Strong writing and performance, not really a style I particularly care for I can't offer any criticism, this is solid.

Enter It In the Art Show - really atmospheric! Love the big reverb on that snare rim (?) sound and the general sense of space here. The wordless vocals add a lot too - really enjoyed this a lot.

Lichen Throat - I'm not always a fan of sampled guitar sounds but it sounds pretty cool here. The panned vocals are unsettling and perhaps a bit overwhelming but it contributes to the strange mood this song has - I kinda like it, either way. The verses remind me of Sonic Youth a little bit, I like the way it resolves into a more traditional melody in the chorus. Good stuff.

Balance Lost - I'm not sure if being vastly more familiar with your stuff than any of the other acts works in your favour or not? Not sure if I'm biased or just have plenty of material to add to my critical arsenal! I think I've heard better Balance Lost raps but I still liked this a whole lot and the lyric is topical and clever. Some nice flourishes in the music too, those little keyboard arpeggios in the middle are sweet.

WreckdoM - echoing other comments that the music gets a bit exhausting after a while, but this is pretty interesting as a whole, the unusual vocals fit really well in this style.

Votes: Pigfarmer Jr, Enter It In the Art Show, Lichen Throat, Balance Lost

[BoffoYux]

Since Nur Ein is delayed a bit, I'll do the 'Black Days' SongFight LP tonight. Info to post later tonight after I'm out of work. Probably 9 pm EST like usual.

[BoffoYux]

SongFight LP
9 World Premiere songs! Just in time to whet Your appetite for the Nur Ein Finals!
Monday at 9:00 pm EST


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ub_zOd_bWw

[furrypedro]

Metaluna: Very proficient guitar playing and some good riffs. Slightly overstays its welcome, and I’m not sure what the connection to the title is. You probably did write and record this track last week, but how can we be sure?

Dolla Billy and th’Inkpoints: I feel like I’m in a sewer. There are a variety of interesting synths used here. I feel like the dynamics of the song would benefit from the main lead synth being dropped for a section, or replaced by a different sound. The track has an impression of building steam very gradually, but the difference between sections is so slight that it feels like one long section. I particularly like the various bits of clicky percussion going off in each ear. Johnny rhymed “us” with “us”.

Slickitude: You don’t mess about. No intro, just straight into the verse. The switching between normal-time and half-time in the solo is really great. The solo guitar blends a little too much with the rhythm guitar, I feel like it needs to stand out more. But everything is well done. The louche vocal style is cool for the track, it’s memorable and I like the quick fire vocals nearly call-and-responding (with the oohs) in the chorus.

Lichen Throat: I can imagine a great version of this, but there are a few fidelity issues which hold it back. I feel that the actual writing is decent. I’d love to hear it with a live drummer and bassist because at the moment it sounds just the wrong side of robotic in a cheap MIDI-type way. There’s nothing wrong with synthesizing some stuff, but the quality of sounds/patches will affect how cool your song sounds. Also, I think the lead vocal needs to be a little lower in the mix so it sits next to the other instruments more naturally. Don’t totally bury it necessarily, just pull it back a little and maybe a little delay to add space. I wouldn’t change anything about the song itself. It’s a good tune, and the pacing is good. It builds to the choruses nicely and ends in the right place. If you can improve your sound pallet and mixing technique then I think your recordings will reach the next level to allow your songs to shine. Good effort.

Dark side of t’son: This has a fairly ploddy tempo, but where I would normally be bored there is enough going on in the arrangement to keep it interesting, and melodically it’s a pleasant enough listen. The crucial problem is the looseness of the playing. The doubled vocals are constantly overlapping each other, and it feels like the drummer is trying to play along with the other instruments, whereas it should be the drums setting the rhythm and everything else being driven by that. As it is there are so many awkward pauses and mis-hits that it feels like the song’s falling apart – this may have been your intention.

Wreckdom: This is likeable in plenty of ways, but I don’t feel like you’re in it to win it. It’s a good groove, I like the percussion as well as the staccato synth bass driving the whole thing. Trouble is there’s not much more to it than that, you never break away from this section, and the (what appear to be) improvised ghostly synth and vocals make it meander. But hey, it’s another one down in the creepy musical odyssey of your lives. On to the next one.

Enter It In’t Art Show: I really like this. I like the restrained taught energy threaded through the track from the low tempo along with the guitar playing droning 16th notes. The rhodes sounds great twinkling over the top, and the whole melodic feel is kinda noir-ish, so it ties in with the title in that way I guess. There’s a lot of space but many things going on to hold the interest and a strong melodic theme/riff. It’s a keeper.

Pigfarmer Jr: Absolutely nothing wrong with this. It’s a pleasant enough listen, the vocals, lyrics and guitar are all solid and the glockenspiel adds a nice bit of twinkliness. But the style and subject matter are so well-trodden that it doesn’t offer me anything to excite, or penetrate the granite casing around my heart.

Balance Lost: This is me. It’s kind of semi-intentionally a reprise/sister-track of my Grim Reality.

[HeuristicsInc]

Balance lost - really interesting synths in the intro. This reminds me of pet shop boys a lot, or maybe the parody of them that flight of the conchords did… anyway, well done. I feel like there’s some space in the middle of the spectrum where another sound could come in and fill it out a little more near the end.
Dark side - bring up those vocals some, hard to hear. That, or post lyrics. Or both. Places the different sung lines don’t line up at all making it more muddy. Pretty good.
Dbti - ours. I had an intention to have more people on this, but it ended up just being the two of us. Also i had more grand ideas for lyrics but we ran out of time
Enter it - interesting. I kinda like the sounds here. The mood does get more black as it goes, although i don’t totally see a title connection at the beginning. I think it should be more black. I’m going to vote for it anyway.
Lichen - if you’re going to sing that fast you should get more onto the beats. Your rhythms are kind of all over the place. E.g. “even in the summer” line doesn’t work that way. If you practiced those more you could really improve the song. I like your take on the title. Great changes in the music over the final verse.
Metaluna - just seeing the bandname told me what kind of music i expected to hear. Like enter, for an instrumental i need to hear the title in the music since there’s no lyrics to give it to me. Is this black enough? I feel like it needs something to make it stand above the other songs like this. Although the guitar work near the end is very good.
Tce - good guitar line. I also like the line about dotted lines holding you in. chorus is good. Where are you driving? I want more details...
Slick - good backup singing bits. This is fun.
Wreck - cool intro. I like the chorus and the theremin (?)

Votes: balance, dbti, enter, wreckdom

[HeuristicsInc]

also, i am listening to jast's entry. digging it. too bad you couldn't get it into the fight, i would have voted for it.
-bill

[bdog5778]

A disturbing number of you have made the "I-don't-get-the-Black-Days-connection-in-your song" remark (or variations thereon). Did you try reading the comment I posted on this subject in this very thread? I devoted 319 words to the topic. Too much to ask in light of having an instrumental track that is 5 minutes and 24 seconds long? Quite possibly! That said, casually impugning my honor because you're simply too lazy to bother seems like the sort of thing that merits a pistols-at-dawn resolution to the matter.

[jb]

A disturbing number of you have made the "I-don't-get-the-Black-Days-connection-in-your song" remark (or variations thereon). Did you try reading the comment I posted on this subject in this very thread? I devoted 319 words to the topic. Too much to ask in light of having an instrumental track that is 5 minutes and 24 seconds long? Quite possibly! That said, casually impugning my honor because you're simply too lazy to bother seems like the sort of thing that merits a pistols-at-dawn resolution to the matter.

Most listen before reading and they read mostly items that mention themselves. Human nature, expected behavior.

Ignore the "disqualified" comments-- they are irrelevant unless you care about votes. Pay attention to any constructive criticism, and pay attention to compliments

JB

[bdog5778]

Pay attention to any constructive criticism, and pay attention to compliments

TRUTH. I should have prefaced my remarks as such. Thank you all for listening and providing criticism/compliments. It does mean a lot to me to hear something other than "it had a beat, I could dance to it" or things of that nature. I'll slow down over here. Cheers!

[furrypedro]

A disturbing number of you have made the "I-don't-get-the-Black-Days-connection-in-your song" remark (or variations thereon). Did you try reading the comment I posted on this subject in this very thread? I devoted 319 words to the topic. Too much to ask in light of having an instrumental track that is 5 minutes and 24 seconds long? Quite possibly! That said, casually impugning my honor because you're simply too lazy to bother seems like the sort of thing that merits a pistols-at-dawn resolution to the matter.

I do apologise for impugning your honour before reading the spiel. I do believe that you wrote your track for this fight, and I would like to retract my statement insinuating that I felt otherwise. I shall endeavour to be more diligent with my research before making bullshit comments about people's songs. That doesn't mean it won't necessarily happen, reviewing while drunk is fun!

You have made me start thinking about the impact of content versus style though. Or meaning versus feeling for that matter. I think it's a shame that a writer can put a great deal of thought into their music, as you have done, but it can still be easy to dismiss because the style or sound is not to the listener's taste, or, as in this case, because it's an instrumental that appears to have only a tenuous link to the title without reading your explanation. In most circles that wouldn't matter at all. Personally, some of my favourite tracks are instrumentals, but in the SongFight world I have discovered that it does matter slightly more. I count myself in j$'s school of thought that if a track needs an explanation it has missed it's mark in SongFight terms. Off-site that's completely irrelevant though, so our comments about the link to the title become unimportant once the fight is over, and you (and hopefully others) will still have your song to enjoy for many years.
I have caught myself being torn between entering a fight and writing whatever the hell kind of song I want, or pandering to a very diverse audience by trying to write a "hit". The former rarely goes down well, but I like it. The latter sometimes works, but when it doesn't you feel dirty afterwards. We all make our own choices in this regard. I think you are making exactly the kind of music you want to make, and you're doing a pretty damn good job of it regardless of my opinions.

[HeuristicsInc]

Did you try reading the comment I posted on this subject in this very thread? I devoted 319 words to the topic.

I read it. I have not heard these songs you refer to, so basically I read this as "this is a song inspired by some other song that has black days in the title" and then a bunch of technical details about how you composed it. my comment was "it's not black enough". i felt like your explanation was a bit tenuous in this case. but as people said, regardless of how well your song does in reviews/votes, when you're done you have a good song that doesn't depend on songfight's reliance on the title.
also, i think with your instrumental prowess you should collaborate with people here at songfight. there could be some very potent combinations.
-bill

ps i've heard the def leppard and black hole sun, but not the others.

[furrypedro]

One more review...

Jan: It’s pretty decent. I like the beat and pads in the chorus. The line “no one knows why” doesn’t seem to fit sonically, maybe because it subverts the rhyme. That can be a cool trick but here it comes off as slightly guileless. The song progresses well, it repeats when it should and has enough different sections to hold the interest.